Warnings: TRIGGERS IN THIS CHAPTER!TRIGGER WARNING! TRIGGER WARNING! TRIGGER WARNING! CONTAINS SCENES OF DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, RAPE, AND MURDER. Chapter contains a homosexual incestual relationship and sexual content between two women. If you don't like it, don't read it.

Rating: M

Summary:. What happens when she gets her wish and Tegan finds herself in an alternate reality where Sara is her girlfriend, and not her sister? Will be a LONG fic, updated often.

A/N: Sorry it took so long. School gets in the way of life. Here it is though. Hopefully next one will come sooner. Want to know a great way to get a quicker update? Inspire me with your What If? Art! Still haven't gotten any. Also, keep a look out for some collabs I'm doing. But for now: Read, Enjoy, Review!

Disclaimer: COMPLETELY FICTIONAL!

Chapter 43 – Little Roots

Sara's POV

The soft sobbing woke me. It was the little one curled up to my chest. I kissed her head and lifted her on top of me.

Mama, tummy ow.

That was my only warning. The next whine was accompanied by Dani vomiting in my face. I felt it enter my mouth and wished that I had closed it. It took everything I had not to vomit right back. I felt Tegan move next to me.

"Someone's….oh god, Sara!" she cried, almost laughing.

She took Dani from me and laid her on the bed, going and getting a towel. I found Dani's tiny body through the whines and rubbed her tummy. I felt the wash cloth over my face, wiping the puke up from it.

"Go ahead and shower, I'll take care of her" Tegan told me, scooping Dani up. "I think someone might be a little seasick."

I didn't hesitate, running into the bathroom. I immediately spit the puke out, into the toilet, grabbed the mouthwash, took a long swig, then started to swish it around my mouth. Finally, I spit the minty flavoured liquid into the toilet and flushed it all down. I took a few deep breaths, then the tears came.

They weren't from being puked on (that, I didn't mind so much). I just realized that the new baby would never puke on me. It sounds odd, even in my own head; but this fact was deeply horrifying. My mind raced back to all the times Dani had puked on me throughout the years as I shed my clothing and turned on the shower. That new little one would never empty the contents of their stomach onto me. I'd never nurse them when they were sick, I'd never hug them when they were sad, I'd never laugh at a funny story they'd tell me. I'd never get to do anything with them. It struck me in a place deep in my chest, hollowing out a tiny hole where this mortifying sadness lived. I stood under the stream and started scrubbing as I sobbed.

It wasn't long until I felt lips on my shoulder.

"She wanted you" Tegan whispered.

I turned and saw Dani, sniffling softly as she clung to Tegan under the water.

Mama.

It was a whine, a sound I didn't hear from her too often. I took her in my arms and kissed her forehead.

"It's okay Dan, Mama's here" I reassured, sniffling back my own tears. I looked up at my wife "I think we should go home."

Tegan nodded and stepped out of the shower. She dried off. "I'll get us ready to go. Come out when you're ready."

I rocked Dani, snuggling her close to me as I nodded back. I couldn't help looking to her stomach. She noticed and turned away. I felt my stomach drop and my throat go dry as she walked out of the bathroom. Dani must have felt our tension or my sadness. She started to whimper and kick her legs

Mama. No yike. Owie.

I kissed her forehead and rubbed her back "It's okay baby, we're going home. Your tummy will stop hurting then"

No Mama, Mommy Mama Owie. No yike.

I hugged her tighter, patting her bum "I know, me neither. Mommy and I are okay though Dani. It's gonna be okay. I love your Mommy so so so so so much and I know that she loves me. And we both love you. We love you more than anything" I reassured.

She seemed to accept that answer because she laid her head on my shoulder and let out a sigh.

Bob.

"Okay, we'll get dry and get you Bob" I promise.

I step out of the shower and do as I promised, getting her dry, in a clean diaper, and cozy in her giraffe footie PJs with Bob snuggled to her. I pulled on some sweats and put my glasses on, then scooped her up and carried her to the deck.

'Ready when you are" I told Tegan then sat down with Dani in my arms as the sun started setting.

Noms Mama. Mama Noms.

I smiled and gladly lifted my shirt, letting my daughter latch on. I sighed and leaned back against the back rest as the wind picked up. Tegan drove us home. Dani had started to doze in my arms during her meal and I let her lazily suck at me. It wasn't long before we docked in the backyard. I stood up and handed her off to Tegan, who took her happily, putting her on her shoulder.

"You know I love giraffes. And giraffes on our little Dan is too cute" she noted. "Are you trying to get on my good side using adorably awkward animals and our kid?"

"Maybe. Is it working?" I asked, leaning in and kissing her cheek.

Tegan nodded "A little too well".

I put a hand on Dani's back and leaned in, ever so carefully. It was the slowest I think I'd ever moved. I made eye contact with her. I asked permission with my eyes. She nodded, smiling. I inched slightly closer and stopped, looking to her lips, then back to her eyes. It was as if I was scared of breaking something that told me it was strong. I was terrified of breaking her. But deep down, I knew she's not the one who would break. I would be. As my head torturously tried to move the last distance between our lips, she eradicated any fear I had by swiftly scooping my bottom one between her top two. I gasped like it was the first time I'd felt my soulmate's love. A strong hand took hold of my waist and I couldn't help but tangle a free hand in her hair.

Dani let out a happy sigh as I melted in her mommy's arms.

No tension, no fear, just Tegan and I as we've always been. Everything would be okay.

I slowly pulled away, mirroring Tegan's smile. She ruffled my hair and we both kissed Dani, who was now fast asleep.

"Let's go home" I told her.

Tegan wrapped an arm around my shoulders and I took her waist, leading her into the house. We walked in, happy to see it had been cleaned up. No doubt another one of our gifts. Tegan brought Dani to her room, I assumed to tuck her in. I turned on my phone and was bombarded with texts and calls from Emy and Lindsey. I smiled as I read them and ran to Dani's room, just as Tegan was laying her in bed.

"Lindsey's in labour" I said excitedly.

Tegan looked up and smiled "Really?"

I nodded "I just turned my phone on and got the texts. I'll grab her bag from the boat. They're at the new place"

Tegan nodded and picked Dani up again, as I ran out to the boat, snagging the diaper bag and ran back in. I grabbed a frozen casserole from the freezer and a batch of frozen cookies, putting them in a bag. Tegan walked up and kissed me quickly, sending a short buzz of energy and tingles through my body. We both giggled like 6th graders and walked out the door.

I dug through the bag and found the wrap, handing it to Tegan who wrapped Dani to her chest, then took my hand. We walked happily down the street and knocked on the door. Emy opened the door with a huge smile on her face.

"You're here!" she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Tegan's neck.

Tegan laughed and hugged her "We are" she said.

Dani woke up instantly at the sound of her aunt's voice.

Auny Emy! Auny Emy!

She rang out in our heads, but giggled out loud, reaching for our friend. Emy hugged me quickly then scooped up Dani, kissing her face.

"Hey there princess! You're gonna get a new buddy today" she told the tyke, excitedly then kissed my cheek.

"How's Lindsey doing?" I asked.

"She's relaxing in the tub right now. Needed a moment alone" Emy answered, blowing a raspberry on Dani's tummy.

Dani giggled like crazy. I felt Tegan take my hand and I laced our fingers together as Emy led us in and Tegan closed the door behind us.

"Linds, Te and Sare are here with Dan" she called out.

"Emy, get in here!" Lindsey called back with a tone of anxiety.

"My lady beckons me" she said, handing Dani off to Tegan again.

She headed towards the bathroom, a pep in her step.

"I don't think I've ever seen Emy this excited" I whispered to Tegan, who was kissing our baby's cheeks.

Tegan nodded "Even when she was with you."

I gave her a look. It was supposed to be dirty but my smile gave me away.

"Trying to be angry Sara is sexy!" she purred and grabbed my bum.

I bit my lip and couldn't stifle my moan "Tee…not here."

"Sorry" she said, moving her hand up to my waist and pulling me into her.

"Sara, call 9-1-1. Get an ambulance here right now. Tell them, tell them she's had a heart attack!" Emy Yelled out so loud I was sure the non-existent neighbours heard.

I didn't hesitate. I ran to the phone and dialed as Tegan tried to calm the now scared Dani. Emy ran out, covered in blood. I could tell she was trying to keep calm.

"Is she okay?" Tegan asked.

"Did you call?" Emy answered, but looked at me.

I nodded. Tegan handed me the baby and raced towards the bathroom.

Tegan's POV

I walked in and saw her, laid out on the bathroom floor, covered in the comforter. She was moaning in pain. I got to her side and took her head in my lap.

"Lindsey, it's Tegan. Lindsey, it's gonna be okay" I tried reassuring her.

"Tee, you're here. Tske care of her Tegan, take care of Emy" Lindsey asked of me "Can you do that for me?"

"No. I can't. You need to do that. You're gonna be fine Lindsey" I tried to convince her as my tears started up.

"Just promise me you'll take care of her" she whispered.

"Lindsey…"

"Tegan Rain Quin, promise me" she repeated.

"I promise" she honestly replied.

"You're my best friend Tegan."

"And you're mine, Lindsey" Tegan told her honestly.

"No I'm not. Sara is." Lindsey noted.

"well you're second in the ranks. Lindsey fight. I need you here. Emy needs you. Your baby needs you. We need to do this together: terrible twos, first days of school, puberty talks, kids playing on the lake while we drink as the sun sets. Please, fight. You baby needs you Lindsey" I tell her as sirens start to fill the air.

"I don't know how to" she whispered.

I took her hand "Don't let go of my hand. Just focus on it. Don't let go."

She squeezes my hand as Emy rushes back in, with paramedics. She's ordering them around. They get Lindsey on a stretcher and I call Emy over.

"Hold her hand and don't' you dare let go. She needs you to hold her hand" I instruct. Emy nods. "Linds, I'm passing you off to your hunk. Just keep squeezing her hand. I'll see you and your new little one very soon. Dani's gonna be so excited. They're going to be best friends Lindsey. Just like their parents."

Emy takes her hand from mine and I quickly feel Sara's familiar palm take that hand. I watch Emy and Lindsey. There's so much blood. Something went terribly wrong. I'm fearing the worst. Sara must sense it because she pulls me into a hug. I bury my face into her shoulder a she rubs my back. I hear her talking to Emy. Those two are always so calm in these situations. Sara kissed my head as Dani hugged my neck tightly. I rocked her and snuggled her close.

Eventually I calmed and Sara kissed my neck gently before whispering in my ear "Let's get to the car and I'll drive us to the hospital"

I nod and let her guide me outside. I hear her click the lock and we head home. It just seemed like a moment before we were sitting in the waiting room of the hospital. What if Lindsey died? What if that baby died? They'd be devastated. I'd be devastated. That overwhelming feeling overcomes me again as my hand goes to my tummy. I'm terrified of losing him again. It's so confusing. Why am I so scared of that? Why am I thinking of him as a him? No, I don't want to be pregnant. But the thought of our baby…my baby…

Sara's POV

With my arm around Tegan, I can see her mind going a million miles an hour. Her hand moves to her stomach and I know what she's thinking. I kiss her temple and rub her shoulder to let her know that I'm here. I feel Dani play with my necklace and I hand her my car keys. Those always keep her entertained. Tegan's taking this really hard. Don't get me wrong I adore Lindsey and the thought of her….it just hasn't hit me yet. Could Tegan…is she maybe in love with Lindsey? It wouldn't be so far off base. She was back in the other world.

I feel the jealousy creep up. She turns to me right away.

"Sara?" she questions softly.

"Are you and…?" I start but am interrupted.

"No." she answers curtly and honestly "I'm just…thinking about the baby."

"Oh. Yeah" I say, dropping my head "God, if they lose the baby…"

"I was talking about our baby" Tegan said.

"Tegan…" I prod softly.

"I need to do it soon, Sara" She said, her eyes full of tears.

She was really not having this pregnancy. It was tearing her apart. She really does need this to happen soon. I gulp at the idea. My stomach churns, but I need to help Tegan. I kiss her cheek.

"I'll go see what I can do" I tell her, handing her to Dani.

She nods "Thanks"

I nod back and give her a soft kiss before standing up "Do you need anything while I'm gone? I'm gonna get DanDan a banana for when she wakes up" I explain.

She shook her head. I'm going to get her something anyways. I give her one last kiss and walk off.