Chapter Four

If I Ask for Your Help, then . . .

Rin didn't say a single word to Yuki on the way back, and Yuki didn't dare say anything to her, either, partially because she didn't want to bother Rin and partially because she knew that, if she did that, she'd start crying. She could already feel the slight pounding in her temple that always came when she was about to cry.

When they reached the apartment, neither of them said anything, once again. After kicking off her shoes, Rin dashed inside, and Yuki heard a door slam shut, informing her that Rin had locked herself in her bedroom. Yuki resisted the urge to cry and tidily put away both hers and Rin's shoes. After that, she hesitantly walked into the apartment, looking around to see if Rin hadn't actually gone to hide in her room, but her suspicions had proved true, which saddened her.

She was so stupid. She'd made Rin waste her time running around looking for her, just because she'd had to get lost on the way to school. Poor Rin had enough to do already without dealing with a lost child. Yuki felt terrible. Rin had probably been working or something important like that. She tried to think of how she could make it up to her.

She glanced at the kitchen. Well, for a start, she could cook something yummy for dinner. Iroha seemed very worried about what Rin was eating, so maybe Rin had some kind of allergies or something. Either that or she was a very picky eater. Either way, Yuki was sure something in the cookbooks she'd found on the top of the fridge would be good.

Yuki grabbed a chair from the kitchen table and carried it over to the fridge, being sure not to let the legs drag against the ground and squeal loudly. She set it down and clambered up top. She reached up and just barely touched the books with her finger tips. After working at it for a minute, she realized that it wasn't going to work and climbed off. She started up at the books in consideration. After a moment, she went over to the living room and grabbed a pillow off the couch. Carrying back to the kitchen, she placed it on the chair for some added height and climbed up. She was able to get a better grasp on the books and exclaimed triumphantly. Then, as she pulled the pile toward her, the momentum caused her chair to waver uncertainly and she fell to the ground with a shriek. There was a loud thump as she, the chair, and the books crashed against the ground, but no consolation came from Rin in the other room. Yuki bit back tears and peered at the purpling bruise forming on her knee.

No. Now wasn't the time to cry. Yuki quickly returned the chair and the pillow to their proper places. Then, she sat on the kitchen floor and began flipping through the first of the recipe books before landing on one that looked yummy. Sadly, after looking in the fridge, she discovered that she was lacking the majority of the ingredients. She went back to the book and searched again for something that worked better.

"Rin, Yuki, I'm home!" called Iroha from the front entrance.

"Welcome back," Yuki mumbled habitually, lifting herself to her feet, excited to see Iroha. She ran to the front entrance, where Iroha was taking off her shoes and slipping into slippers. Iroha looked up at her and jumped a little. Then she smiled.

"Heya, Yuki!" she chirped. "You're so quiet! You gotta be louder of you're gonna give me a heart attack one day."

"Sorry," Yuki replied with a delicate smile.

"So," Iroha wondered, taking Yuki hand and leading her into the house. "How was school? Did you get there alright?"

Yuki felt tears in her eyes, but she didn't want Iroha to see them. She knew they'd spill over if she spoke, so she turned her head away and didn't reply. She felt Iroha watching her curiously.

"What's wrong, honey? Did it not go well?" Iroha stroked her head, staring at her with a concerned expression.

"I didn't get to school," Yuki choked out, one tear spilling over as a result.

"What?" exclaimed Iroha. "Didn't Rin take you?"

Yuki shook her head. "I tried to go myself – hic – but I got lost – hic – and then Rin – hic – had to come find me."

"Are you crying?" Iroha questioned, turning the girl toward her.

Yuki didn't want Iroha to see her cry, so she hugged her tightly, hiding her head in the woman's stomach as the tears spilled over and today's frightening experience repeated over and over again in her mind. She shook her head vigorously, trying to deny the obvious truth laid before her. Iroha gently stroked her head and whispered soothing words, and Yuki could tell that she didn't know what else to do. For a moment, Yuki was reminded of Len. He'd come to visit her so many times, and, when he'd smile so kindly at her, she'd start to cry and he'd hold her, just like this.

But Len was dead. He'd never hold her again.

She stared crying even more as a thought entered her mind. Iroha did her best to comfort the little girl until, finally, her crying slowed to tiny hiccups. Finally, then, Iroha whispered, "Yuki, honey, can you let me what's wrong?"

"He'll never hold her again," Yuki whimpered into Iroha's shirt. "Len will never hold Rin again. She must be so lonely."

. . .

"I told you to walk her to school!"

After Yuki had stopped crying, Iroha had set her down on the couch with a steaming mug of hot chocolate. The woman had then proceeded to pound on Rin's door and shout for the other woman to let her in. Rin had shouted words Iroha requested that Yuki not repeat. Then, Iroha had grabbed a key from somewhere in Yuki's room and slipped it into Rin's door, resulting in another round of profane words from Rin as the door opened. From there, they had gone to this, and Yuki was regretting telling Iroha of how she'd gotten lost.

"She's not my responsibility!" Rin replied angrily.

"Nothing is your responsibility! I do everything around here! Couldn't you just do that one thing for me?"

"I'm not going to let you trick me into replacing Len! I'll never accept her, never!"

"Shut up, Rin!" Iroha hissed in a loud whisper. "She can hear you!"

Yuki stared at her mug of hot chocolate, tears forming in her eyes. She blinked them back, knowing that she'd already cried enough today.

"I don't care if she can!" Rin hissed, making no attempt to lower her voice. "She's not Len and she never will be!"

Yuki gasped as a sharp sound rang through the air. She squeezed her eyes shut, trying to deny having heard it.

"You bitch!" Iroha shouted. "What did she do to deserve this? That little girl wasn't even crying for herself, Rin! She was crying for you!"

"I. Don't. Care." Rin's words her spoken through gritted teeth, every ounce of dark emotions in her body dripping out. "Get out of here, Iroha. This isn't even your house."

"I'm not going to leave you alone, Rin, so just give up."

Iroha sounded drained now, full of remorse. Yuki squeezed her eyes shut, trying to pretend that none of this was happening, none of it.

After a moment of silence, Rin's voice, equally drained, murmured, "I hate you."

Another moment of silence followed until Iroha murmured, "You can hate all the world as much as you want, but, sometime, you'll have to realized that the world doesn't hate you in return."

When Iroha came out of the room, Yuki looked up at her, startled to see tears in the woman's eyes. Then, when Iroha caught the young girl's gaze on her, those tears vanished and she smiled, though even Yuki could see that it was forced.

"I'm going to call in to work and tell them I'm coming in late tomorrow," she chirped, but the exhaustion in her eyes wouldn't let Yuki be fooled. "That way, we can walk to school together, okay?"

Yuki couldn't make herself smile, but she nodded. Iroha smiled again before going off into the kitchen, where the phone was. Yuki watched the woman's back as she disappeared into the other room.

"You're really going to let her do that?"

Yuki jumped at Rin's icy voice. She turned her head to the woman who'd just exited her bedroom. Yuki flinched at the large red mark on Rin's cheek where Iroha had slapped her, feeling tears spring to her eyes.

"You know, Iroha really can't afford to miss work right now," Rin commented. "It's really quite selfish of you to get her in trouble like this."

"In trouble?" Yuki questioned, panicking. She hadn't realized what a big deal it was for Iroha to miss work. She looked over to the kitchen nervously.

"You're being a burden, even to Iroha, just like I told you."

With that, Yuki leaped up, swiftly putting her hot chocolate on the table, and ran over to Iroha. The pink-haired woman had just picked up the phone when Iroha grabbed her shirt to get her attention. Iroha looked at her curiously, but Yuki couldn't manage to make eye contact.

"I don't feel well," she lied. "I don't think I can go to school tomorrow."

Iroha stared at her worriedly. "Are you sure?"

In response, Yuki reached up and pushed Iroha's hand, which held the phone, toward its stand, ending the call. She didn't want to be a burden, not to Len, not Rin, not to Iroha. She'd never cause trouble ever again.

Author's Note: So, for those of you who didn't know, I was gone all November working on NaNoWriMo, but I'm back now! This story will be updating every Monday unless I get super inspiration and write a lot in one sitting. Reviews are good motivation, too, nudge nudge wink wink.