John straightened his bowtie in the mirror and studied his reflection. Mixed emotions ran through him. On one hand, he was glad Tommy was happy. On the other hand, he was still furious with his brother about his treatment of Lizzie. But, Tommy had put a stop to the men who had burned his house to the ground and threatened his family. Now, on top of that, John had to be the best man and act as if he was alright after blowing a begging man's brains out. There was no way in hell he was going to resolve all of this before leaving the house for the Carleton mansion.

"You look very handsome." Esme said, cutting into his thoughts as she moved tentatively in the room. John didn't look at her.

He also had to deal with her and her infidelity. He'd tried to find Lizzie leading up to the wedding but she, understandably, was avoiding him and most understandably of all, was avoiding Tommy.

"John?" Esme moved closer to him. John turned around and looked directly at her.

"What do you want, Esme?"

"I've been thinking…"

"Oh you've been thinking. That'd be a first."

"I want to try again," she said.

John looked at her, really looked at her.

I don't understand this woman at all.

"I'm sorry I hurt you."

"You did."

"But I care about you and the kids. I love you, all of you."

She moved even closer.

"You have a funny way of showing it," he said straightening his collar.

"I mean it John, and your collar's a mess… here let me.."

John had no choice to let her fix his collar. She thrust her hands forward, invading his space to do it, to fix it.

It's going to take more than a fixed collar to fix our marriage.

"That's better isn't it?" she asked, looking deep into his eyes with her piercing dark ones.

"It's alright," he mumbled, shrugging.

There was a pause.

"John, I know you're angry, but I promise, I'll make it up to you. I'll do my part to make this marriage work."

She looked sincere. She sounded sincere. Once again, the thought crossed John's mind that he had no idea what went through this woman's head.

"Can we try?" she asked, her voice pleading and her eyes softening and John saw the woman he had married, smiling shyly at him through her veil. They had been happy up until now and the kids loved her and maybe deep down, a part of him had never stopped loving her.

He sighed.

"Damn it, Esme."

"Is that a yes?" she asked, hope in her eyes. John turned away.

"Ask me after the wedding will you?"

"John.."

"What?" he snapped, turning back to face her. She flung her arms around him, pulling him into a kiss that completely caught him off guard.

"Oy! John, where are you? We're heading out!" Arthur bellowed from downstairs.

John pulled away from Esme.

"After the wedding," he said. "We'll talk."

She nodded vigorously, her face flushed. John turned and saw two pairs of eyes watching him. His heart lurched.

"Lizzie!"

The eyes vanished and he heard racing footsteps down the stairs. Esme put a restraining hand on his arm.

"Let her go, John."

John was about to respond when Arthur started bellowing again and his head started whirling with all the conflicting thoughts and emotions.

"Bloody hell," he muttered before storming out of the room, and down the stairs.

"There you are," Arthur said. "Come on Johnny boy we've…"

"Shut up Arthur," John said through gritted teeth, punching Arthur in the shoulder.

"What?" Arthur asked in confusion, grabbing at his arm. John ignored him and stepped out into the blinding sunlight.

After the wedding. After the wedding, I'll sort everything out. God help me.