Yet another chapter that was a real joy to write!

Talons and Toddlers
Part Three

The diaper was a little worse for wear. By a little, this meant a gaping hole through both pants and undergarment. In other words, completely ruined.

Astrid and Hiccup responded naturally, as most parents would when faced with this phenomenon. They stared, open mouthed, at their son's clothes before turning to face the playpen again.

"What did you DO?!" Astrid said in a sudden flurry to grab her son and inspect his bottom. "That looks like Stormfly's beak—but she'd never, but there's no way, but… but… there's no mark so I guess we'll never know what he did!"

Stormfly nodded, perfectly happy for her human to not ever know what methods she had resorted to so as to return the young unscathed.

Hiccup had managed to undo the mechanism entrapping Adrianna. The little girl toppled, sleepy, but still extremely happy out into her father's arms. As she snuggled into his neck, Hiccup saw another thing which made his heart leap into his throat. There were holes—no, teeth marks in his little girl's shirt. And they looked mysteriously like…

"Toothless."

The dragon opened his eyes wearily and focused on his human with a soft coo. Hiccup pulled the shirt up to first inspect his child's back (no bite marks, check) before beginning his interrogation.

"Why," he started slowly, "why are there… why would you do this?"

The dragon jumped up by the window, stuck his head out and meaningfully looked straight at the offending bridge. Hiccup walked over and followed Toothless' gaze.

"I don't understand. Could you… mime it for me or something?"

Toothless' head plates fell flat on his head as a look of irritation crossed over his features. He turned and returned to where he had been napping.

"Okay… I'll just think about it for a bit, shall I?" Hiccup inspected his daughter's back again. No wounds, some dirt, and what appeared to be dried dragon saliva. "Aaah, that's just great." He groaned. "That'll take a while to come out."

Toothless shot his human a scathing look. Great way to be ungrateful.

"Strip her. Time for a bath." Astrid was already filling the tub with the buckets they had set aside for that evening.

"Never words I like to hear," Gobber said, having now entered the house and collapsed at the table. "Looks like your son has inherited Hiccup's art skills."

Astrid and Hiccup, hands full of toddler, both turned their heads to inspect it. Astrid sighed. "He's been preparing for his bath all day by the looks of it, and he was mighty busy doing so. Painting the table, playing in mud, visiting Gobber's workshop—"

"Destroying my workshop more like. The entire place has been turned upside down. It looked like a full-scale dragon attack happened in there." The parents eyed their dragons again suspiciously. Gobber continued, "and then of course he left his skivvies by the furnace."

That took a moment to sink in. "THE FURNACE?!" Astrid's face began to change color in shock. She plunged the little boy into the water and began scrubbing, desperately seeking singe marks. Finn began screaming at the top of his little lungs (which had amazing lung capacity when he decided to use them), in sharp protest to his freezing washing.

"Umm… Astrid, I think it's cold…" Hiccup said awkwardly. Astrid fixed him with a glare which was probably about the same temperature as the water.

"Shut up." She glanced to Toothless across the room, "a little help?"

The dragon still looked rather peeved, and refused to give too much attention to the scene. He spat a fast spark at the fire pit beneath the tub, and it ignited with a white flame. He then turned his back on the family to continue stewing in peace.

The door swung open once again as Stoick ambled in. "Kids, you will never imagine what happened today," he began.

"Well, I think at this point we're willing to believe anything." Hiccup deadpanned.

"I went to the healer and she knocked me out with these incredible herbs that made me see things…"

"See things?" Astrid echoed incredulously.

"You went to the healer?" Hiccup added. "Voluntarily?"

"Finn was running throughout Berk naked, being chased by that Nadder of yours, Astrid." He took a seat next to Gobber. "When I went outside she had him by the ankles and was flying him around town. What happened to this table?"

"I don't think that was a hallucination, Dad…" Hiccup said slowly. Astrid was now inspecting Finn's feet for claw marks.

"Especially if these holes in his boots are any evidence," Gobber added helpfully. Hiccup took the boots to examine them next to Stormfly's talons. They fit.

"Well, that's one mystery solved." Hiccup tossed the boot into the pile of ruined clothing that had appeared by the tub. "Only about a hundred or so left."

"What other mysteries?" Stoick asked.

"Well, we start with how they got out of their playpen. Then there's the question of with why Addie was in a net. And why there was a gaping hole in Finn's skivvies—"

"He was crawling into the furnace in Gobber's workshop." Astrid offered. The room all turned their attention to her. There was a moment of silence.

"Well, that's going to give me nightmares." Hiccup said.

"Me too," Gobber added. "Charred child is not one of my favorite workshop decorations."

Hiccup's face paled a little. "I don't think that's helping, Gobber," Stoick murmured.

"No, no, that mental image is now firmly ingrained into my mind. I don't think I will ever erase it from my subconscious." Hiccup glanced back out the window. "We also don't know why there are teeth marks on the back of Addie's shirt, and all Toothless will do if you ask is look at the—oh my. Oh, oh, my." A horrible thought flitted through Hiccup's mind. "I think I suddenly want to do some construction."

"Construction?" Stoick tried to imagine this.

"Yes, childproofing. The bridge."

Astrid made a strangled noise. "No!"

"Oh, yes. Addie almost went for a swim. Off the bridge. Into the rocks." Hiccup swung his arms awkwardly as he tried to cope with this mental image. "Another thing I will see in my dreams tonight. But, Toothless," the dragon looked up, now a little more pleased as the human was catching on, "Toothless must have grabbed her, so… so… she isn't dead."

Adrianna giggled at this moment, and began to splash the water in the tub. Stoick decided to summarize events up until this point, "So, your children escaped from the house, one went mud-diving and then tried to become one with the furnace, before running through the village stark naked, and the other attempted to learn to dive before wandering into a forgotten netter trap."

"Yes, yes, I think that is exactly what happened," Astrid was now drying the children in an almost amazingly overprotective fashion. Was it possible to smother them with yak's fur accidentally?

Hiccup crossed the room to where the dragons were. "I feel like we should be really thankful right now for our dragons. I mean, if they weren't there then who knows what would have happened. Bud, just… sorry, for being so…"

"Accusatory?" Astrid suggested.

"Dense?" Gobber added.

"Thank you for summing that up." Hiccup turned back to the dragon, who looked a little too gleeful at his rider's expense at that moment. "But, yeah, thank you. For being there. And saving her. And you too, Stormfly, for protecting Finn. You both are… lifesavers. Literally."

"But the real question is how they got out." Gobber interrupted the scene. "I mean, Hiccup made that pen himself."

Everyone turned their eyes on the young father. He looked quickly from one accusing face to another. "Now, come on," he started over to where the pen was to inspect it. "It looks fine. I mean, I made this with the finest materials, and it's my own design. It's as solid as a rock." He patted it affectionately. The lock immediately popped open and the door swung out to where Stormfly's spikes were blocking it. "Okay, I admit, there may have been a few flaws in the design."

Astrid rolled her eyes slightly at this. Gobber released a loud guffaw of amusement as he stood up to slap Hiccup affectionately (or as Hiccup thought of it, violently) on the back. "Well, I can take care of it for you if you'd like. You should have come to me in the first place, Hiccup. I have lots of experience building gates. I even built the gate on your playpen."

Stoick cut in, "A lock which never worked."

"It did. You just didn't listen properly when I was explaining it. You can be a little hard of hearing sometimes."

"Story of my life," Hiccup muttered.

"What was that?" Stoick had barely caught the words, but knew fairly well what had been said.

Hiccup turned back to the pen. "Well, I guess I could tweak it a bit," he said slowly.

"A bit?" Astrid replied. "I want it to look and function like a prison. Give it to Gobber."

"I actually built prison gates once…" Gobber trailed off.

"Yes, it took me a while to figure that out," Stoick remarked. "I should show that to you one day."

Finn suddenly tugged on Astrid's arm and announced, "Mommy, hungry."

Astrid sighed. "I guess you would be after streaking all over the island."

"In more ways than one," Gobber added helpfully, earning a glower from Astrid.

"Time for lunch. Gobber, can you take that pen and fix the gate for us as soon as possible?"

"Sure. I'll be back tonight." Gobber folded the wooden pen up in a moment and put it under his arm. "I'd better start working on it before Finn decides to visit again."

"I should be going too," Stoick stood and accompanied Gobber out the door. "Even without hallucinations, I need to lie down for a while."

The parents, now left alone with their children, had a surreal moment of silence once the two older men had disappeared, wherein they attempted to find words now that everything had been explained.

"Well," Hiccup began awkwardly. "I guess I should go get the fish. Yeah…"

The twins, now sitting on the yak rug by the hearth, still swaddled in their drying cloths, giggled mischievously. Both parents had a strange feeling they would be staying home with their children for the rest of the foreseeable future.

Hiccup reached out to take the pen from Gobber's arms, a little shinier by the gate than it had been the last time. The instant the older Viking released it, Hiccup found himself hunched over, face nearly at the floor.

"Wow, um," he pulled his good foot out from under the now incredibly heavy contraption, "I see you've made some adjustments."

"Improvements more like. Your little terrors can't get out of this gate." He patted it affectionately. What had earlier been a simple turn lock was now a rather elaborate looking mechanism of bolts, spring-loaded pins, and latches.

"So… How do we open it?" Hiccup said slowly.

"Oh, it's easy. Well, not easy enough for the babies to figure out, but certainly nothing for the great inventor Hiccup!" Gobber removed a mallet and a long peg from his belt, which he then hammered into the soft dirt floor where the playpen had sat earlier. "Just bring it over here, lad."

Hiccup, who could barely move the heavy gate, strained to drag it across the floor. In fact he was going so painfully slowly that Astrid went to join him. Between the two of them they still only just managed to haul it to Gobber's side. As soon as it reached him, Gobber went about stationing the gate.

"This is the same design I used for your playpen, Hiccup." Gobber said proudly. "I found the designs on the mess on my floor. I hadn't been able to find them for years." Gobber tested the lock and the gate swung open easily. "It shouldn't take too much practice to get used to it." He closed it again. "Why don't you try it?"

Hiccup stepped up to the gate. The whole area by the lock was now reinforced with iron. A large rectangular locking mechanism took up the first third or so of the gate, which had a series of three latches to be flipped open, as well as a handle. At the bottom of the gate, a metal stopper had been dug into the floor, which needed to be pulled up before the door would open. Hiccup went about opening the latches, and pulling open the stopper, but even then when he grabbed the handle he found that the gate would not open.

"Uh, Gobber," he said slowly.

"Hiccup, you're doing it all wrong," Gobber announced, clapping the young man on the back for the second time that day (Astrid would discover bruises from this later). "You have to press the button and then pull."

Gobber put the tip of his hook on a painfully small button on the top of the lock box. Hiccup felt the locking mechanism give way.

"Yeah, that was completely obvious." He hauled back on the handle, but the gate refused to budge.

"Put your back into it!" Gobber cheered. Hiccup took the handle by both hands and pulled with all his might. The door crept a few centimeters out of its frame. At that point, Astrid grabbed her husband's elbows and added her strength to the battle. The door was now opened about three inches—still not wide enough for a child to fit through.

"Hmm… I didn't think the spring-loaded hinges created that much force." Gobber said thoughtfully. Toothless helpfully grabbed the back of Astrid's skirt and pulled. Hiccup and Astrid slid across the floor as the gate came open. The twins were giggling at the spectacle from the corner of the room where they had been playing.

"Well, that wasn't overkill at all." Hiccup said, releasing the door. It snapped shut with alarming speed.

"No kid is ever going to escape this baby. I've named her Edna. It sounds like a nursemaid for some reason."

Hiccup and Astrid both fitted Gobber with their most astonished look. "I am so glad I am not being kept in the prison you built locks for." Astrid said finally.

Gobber glowed at this assumed praise.

"Well, gee, Gobber," Hiccup began slowly. "I think that, maybe… we might have some trouble with this gate. Seeing as it takes practically the whole family to open it."

"You'll get the hang of it." Gobber said cheerfully. "It just takes some practice. At least you'll never have to worry about accidents with Edna on the lookout." He turned and headed to the door. "You'll thank me later. A worry free childhood is worth the investment of a few afternoons of practice. I'd better get going though. I left the furnace running."

"So…" Hiccup looked at Astrid inquisitively. "What do you say to putting this in storage until they're going through puberty?"

Astrid smiled. "We can just put them in overtop. So long as they don't learn to climb over it, it shouldn't really be an issue. And Gobber is right; it's nice to know they can't get out without us here."

Hiccup cast a look at the gate. "Well, I guess that's true."

"And we never did figure out how to open that gate easily." Hiccup said. The twins stared at the gate, and then back at their father.

"How did you put it upstairs?" Finn finally asked.

"Your grandfather. And Gobber. We let them do the heavy lifting."

"The really heavy lifting." Astrid clarified.

The twins stared at the gate incredulously. Finally Finn piped up, "I never ran around Berk naked."

"Yeah, you two are exaghertat-exagglebate-making it up."

Hiccup smiled fondly at his daughter. "Well, you all can ask Gobber."

"Or the elderly couple who confirmed the location of Finn's mole." Astrid suggested.

Finn turned pink as his sister giggled. "I still don't believe it," he said firmly.

The door suddenly banged open as Gobber came in to collect the gate. "Hello, Haddocks!" He said. "Ah, Edna, old thing! It's been such a long time. You know, this reminds me," he turned to Finn, "did I ever tell you about the time you ran around Berk in nothing but your booties?"

Finn scowled as his face reddened further. "Shut up!" he cried as he stomped up the stairs towards his room. A moment later is slammed shut.

"Did I say something wrong?" Gobber asked Hiccup with great concern.

"No, no, he's just… going through an awkward phase. Early."

"Well, maybe he'll be like you, Hiccup. You're still in an awkward stage." Gobber gathered the pen up under his arms.

After Gobber had left, Astrid shared a meaningful look with her husband. "You know, I'm almost going to miss Edna," she said. "We had a lot of good memories with that thing."

"Yeah," Hiccup began sarcastically, "and a lot of injuries. I think I threw my back out trying to open that thing."

"It did its job pretty well, though." Astrid continued. "They never did escape it again."

"That we know of."

"And it survived to be given to a new family." Astrid finished.

Hiccup stared at the empty place where the playpen had stood. "Are you sure we shouldn't have kept that for when they go through puberty?"

"Hiccup…" Astrid half sighed, half laughed.

"Daddy?"

"Hmm?" The two adults had almost forgotten the presence of their daughter. "What's puberty?"

They exchanged a look.

"I think that's a topic for another time." Astrid said hurriedly. Hiccup had begun to change color in a similar way to Finn.

"But when will we go through it? What happens?" Adrianna continued to pry.

Hiccup's face was decidedly hot by now, and he decided that this was the time to make his getaway. "You know, Astrid, I… I have… that thing. Yeah, I have that thing I have to go do… in the place. Where there are things. To do."

"Coward!" Astrid called after her retreating husband as he disappeared out of the house, followed quickly by his dragon. She could hear them taking off outside.

"But moooooom!"

He was going to pay for leaving her with this.

I hope you enjoyed this short story! The next one is already written and quite hilarious. Like I said, this is not meant to be dramatic! amyboomerang and I are having a great time!

Don't forget to review!

~KateMarie999