Author's Note: Sorry it's been so long between chapters. I hope you like this one! There are more to come!

I am terrible. I am scum. I worse than the worst. I lost all the self control I had managed to gain over the past few months and for what? To torture Peeta the one person who has always gone above and beyond to try to help me? I don't deserve his care or his attention. I cannot believe myself.

But at the same time I can't help but be annoyed with him. Who is he to pry into my life? To judge me for not talking to my mother? I can barely talk to Sae in the mornings when I wake up and the conversation with him was by far the longest I had had since my return to twelve.

There I go again, I think taking all my problems out on the people who care about me. That is, if Peeta still cares about me after last night.

I cringe, remembering the things I said to him. How could I be that cruel? Everything I said was so horrible. But what could I do to make it up to him? Is there anything I could do?

He probably doesn't even want to see me I think.

Still, I can't keep it from my mind. I need to make amends. The thought of Peeta being mad at me tears at my insides. I guess once someone saves you a certain amount of times they kind of stick with you. You can never really rid yourself of them.

I reluctantly pull myself out of bed, stretching and yawning. I take a bath, making sure to really clean my hair. I haven't let Sae cut it even though she's always asking so it's down to my waist. I braid it back and dress in my old hunting clothes.

It still feels strange to wear something other than a nightgown. My old clothes are comforting in an oddly foreign way, like wearing something of an old friend's. Try as I might, it's difficult to reconcile the girl who used to hunt in the woods with her best friend every Sunday with the one I see in the mirror. I look like a stranger in her clothes. An impostor.

This isn't important. What is important is apologizing to Peeta. So I go the only place that has ever been able to cheer me up. The woods.

I sneak past Sae, my hunter's tread proving itself invaluable. I'm walking straight into the trees when I realize I don't have a weapon. I freeze.

Should I go back?

No. I had more than one bow stashed in the woods. I just have to find one. I remember that I used to keep one in a hollowed out log by the strawberry bushes. It's a ways into the woods but it's the only one that could still be here.

I stark the trek. It's good to walk like this again. To actually feel exertion. My endurance is nowhere near where it used to be so when I reach the small lake I fall to my knees and lap up water like it's been days since my last drink. I'm just about to consider diving in when I hear it. A twig snaps.

I turn around instinctively reaching backwards for an arrow from my quiver. But there is none. I grasp at empty air as I lock eyes with it.

A lynx.

Not unlike the one that got me my old nickname, Catnip. Except this one is much bigger. And it looks angry. I back away slowly. Keeping my eyes downward. I edge my way around the lake trying to quiet my breathing. Anything I can do to make it seem like I'm not here. It doesn't move. It just watches me as I toe my way around the lake, not daring to look behind me. And that's when the worst thing happens. Just out of the corner of my eye I spot it. One of her cubs. This lynx is a mother and it's baby is feet away from me. It sleepily trots over to me and lays down at my feet trustingly. Oh no.

The lynx lets out a low growl. I try to back away but the cub gets up and follows me. The lynx flexes it's muscles ready to pounce and I do the only thing I can. I run.

I run around the lake, my eyes on a nearby tree with low branches. I hope I can still climb like I used to as I take a running leap at the lowest branch.

I scramble up the tree. My hands and feet instinctively help me scale it as my heart threatens to beat out of my chest.

I'm almost thirty feet in the air before I realize I am not being followed. How could I be? I look down and the lynx is circling my tree. There's no way she's letting me anywhere near her young. It's smart. Back in the days of the hob her and her cub would have been perfect for trading. Their meat and pelts would have fetched me food for two weeks and tons of supplies. But not now. Now they would only fill Greasy Sae's stew. And she never seemed to have a problem getting meat. The Capitol, or whatever it is now, must still be taking care of us.

I had never thought of it until now. But the thought of them nourishing me makes my skin crawl. I don't know who they are or how they're running things. At least back then I knew something: food came from District 11, most of it went to the Capitol, they made the decisions. It wasn't much, but I knew what was going on. I could not believe how completely in the dark I was.

I looked down again. The lynx was still down there. So much for apologizing to Peeta.

No one has any idea I'm here I think to myself.

Greasy Sae must be worried. I wonder if she went over to Peeta's to see if I'm there. I wonder what he'll think when he finds out I'm missing. He'll probably be relieved.

The lynx is still there.

I look around. The bow is only a few feet from the base of the tree. I could run to it in seconds. But I would need to distract the huge creature that wants to devour me for looking at its young.

I run my hands over the tree I'm perched in. I start grabbing anything that comes loose and clumping it together into a ball. Once it's big enough I quietly climb down to the lowest branch I dare and throw the ball as far away from the hollowed out log as I can.

The lynx's ears perk up and she runs. And so do I. I slide down the tree, sprint to the log and dig inside. I feel nothing.

I dig further, searching desperately. My hand touches the corner of the tarp it must be wrapped in. I stick my arm in, shoulder deep and pull it out. It's my father's bow. I've never been very good with it because it's so large.

I scramble back up the tree with it and a quiver and wait.

She doesn't return. I wait what must be an hour and the lynx still isn't back. I climb down and head towards home when I realize. Peeta. I still haven't gotten him anything. I look around and that's when I remember.

Strawberries. I pick as many as I come, filing my quiver with them. Once I've gotten as many as I can I start for home.

I'm almost out of the forrest when I hear it again. The snap of a twig. I turn around, armed this time and find myself staring at the cub. It makes a pathetic mewing sound and I can't bring myself to shoot it so I turn and run out of the woods. I run so hard that by the time I reach the fence my clothes stick to me and my breath is ragged.

I realize I still have my father's bow. I suppose I can bring it with me now. There really is no District 12 so it's no longer illegal to hunt here and even if it is, who's going to stop me?

I trudge up the path to Victor's Village, peeling my hunting jacket off and enjoying the cool breeze.

I get to Peeta's door and I knock. Prepared to offer him a quiver full of berries and my meager apology. But no one comes to the door. So I return to my house.

When I walk in the door Sae screams that I've been gone all day and I nearly killed her, running off like that.

I apologize and tell her I went to the woods. For some reason, this calms her. I guess she likes seeing me do things I used to do.

Before we can talk more, I try to ready my peace offering for Peeta. I put the berries in two baskets, one for us and one for him. I'm determined to let him know I'm sorry. And if he won't talk to me, I'll write him a letter. Sae keeps trying to talk to me but I am more focused on this than I have been on anything since my return to 12. I need to say I'm sorry.

I sit down at the desk in my room. I root around the drawers and find some paper and something to write with. I stare at the blank page searching for the right words to say.

Later that night, Peeta returned to Victor's Village. He had been looking for Katniss all day. The second she went missing Greasy Sae had called him over. He had been out all day searching for her. It was too dark and when he returned to Victor's Village he found the lights on in Katniss' house.

Greasy Sae invited him in but he chose to stay outside. She explained that Katniss had gone to the woods without telling her. That sounded like Katniss. When Sae asked if Peeta wanted to talk to her he said no and headed home. She was home and that was what counted. She wouldn't want to talk to him after what happened last night.

When he returned to his house he found a small basket on the doorstep. It was full of strawberries. And there was a note. This was strange. He walked inside and turned on the lights so he could read it.

Peeta,

I shouldn't have said those things last night. I'm sorry.

Katniss