Sorry this update took so long! I've been swamped with schoolwork and the like. Here it is! Chapter three! It's a little shorter than the others, but that's because it was really hard for me to get going. Anyways, hope you like it!

James really had to resist the urge to throw a punch to the wall. Every single time he thought he had figured out Lily Evans, she would do something that would surprise him, something that he had never expected. He didn't know why it bothered him so bloody much, her standing up for him, but it did. It ground on his nerves and he couldn't exactly pinpoint what it was that angered him. Maybe it was the fact that if he tried to defend her she got all high and mighty, insisting she could take care of herself, but she could stand in his defense any day of the week.

"Prongs," Sirius was saying, "Just forget about her she's no-"

James stopped, turning on his friend, "Don't. Don't you dare finish that."

"Honestly," Sirius ran a hand back through his shaggy hair, "She's going to be the death of you, mate. You need to realize that she's not all that."

"She is though!" James groaned, pulling at his hair, "She's bloody brilliant!"

Remus rounded the corner then, but his face was murderous. He advanced on James, pointing his finger in his face, "She's a girl, James." He paused, "A regular girl with a regular life and actual, normal feelings. You need to realize that. You need to calm the fuck down and not lose it every time she does something that you don't like."

James stood there, stunned, "What?"

"You heard me," Remus snapped, "She's upset, alright? She's allowed to fuck up and she has emotions, you know."

"I know that!" James argued, "It's just... she's not like other girls."

"Yes she is!" Remus countered, "You put so much pressure on her. You know that, right?"

"It's not James' fault!" Sirius nearly yelled, "She's mental!"

James ignored him, "Did she say something to you?"

"No," Remus admitted slowly, "But it's obvious. Can't you see it? You bug the shit out of her because you expect her to be perfect. She would never say that, or even think it because that's just Lily, she doesn't expect that from people. But, I mean, you do. You think of her as this goddess, when in reality, she's just Lily."

James stood there, staring in surprise at his friend, who had never truly said anything like this to him before, "I-"

"You complain that she won't date you, but no girl wants a boyfriend who puts one hundred kilos of pressure on her to be perfect." Remus barked, then turned on his heel and left.

"Don't worry about it, mate," Sirius said, clapping James on the shoulder, "His time of the month is next week, he's just touchy."

"Is he right, though?" James asked, "Is that why she doesn't want to date me?"

"I have no idea why that bird is so balmy, but she is. Move on," Sirius smirked, "Her friend Marlene though..." Sirius let out a low whistle.

James let out a fake, hollow laugh, turning and tugging at his his hair. Sirius popped up beside him again, "Honestly mate, just don't talk to her. You need to get over her."

James sighed, then straightened, "You're right. Every bloody thing she does throws me off." He tossed both arms into the air, "It's her fault. She's crazy. I'm done."

Sirius hooted, punching his own fist above his head, "That's the spirit mate! Now, let's go find Moony and see if he's calmed down."

The common room was blissfully empty and Lily suspected that the Marauders had disappeared into one of their infamous hiding spots to calm James down. She moved through it with seeming ease, but her insides were shaking, as were her hands.

She felt horrible for saying those things to James, but it had been true, at least the part where she said she was simply doing it because it was right. Although, despite that, she was still angry with him for

being so rude. Even if she had been defending him, what was the big deal? Even if that had been her reasoning she would have more than enough just cause to attack Rosier.

It was probably because of Potter's arrogant pride, she thought, climbing the stairs to her dormitory, can't stand it when someone stands up for him, makes it seem like he can't defend himself.

It bothered her, thought, the fact that when he was rude or said something wrong, she was a bitch when she got upset. But, when she did something wrong, when she had no clue was James wanted from her, his anger made perfect sense. She wasn't perfect! She was just like every other girl, other than the fact that she didn't swoon over Potter every day of her life. She knew that if she said that to Marlene, or even Hestia, that they would get upset with her, they would tell her to bask in the fact that a guy thought she was perfect. But, she didn't want to. She didn't want James to like her just because he thought she was flawless, some kind of goddess. If he was going to like her, she wanted it to be because of who she was.

She dropped down onto her bed, stretching out on her stomach and hanging off of the end. She grabbed her bag and dragged it towards her, rummaging around inside for parchment, ink and her quill. She yanked a thick pile of parchment out, sending a series of hairpins flying across the room. She slid her inkpot and quill out more carefully and then pushed herself upright on the bed.

With the parchment in front of her she began her first letter, to Alice Prewett:

Dear Allie,

How is your Christmas going? It's pretty boring here and, sadly, the Marauders and I are the only Gryffindors who stayed. Potter may be dead come January.

Lily paused, contemplating whether or not she should tell her friend about what had conspired in the Great Hall. With slight reluctance she decided she should and proceeded to recount what had happened, event by event.

She finished with:

I don't understand him, Alice and I doubt I ever will.

Hopefully your hols are going better than mine.

Love, Lily.

The letters she sent to her other three roommates, Marlene, Mary and Hestia, were much the same and after an hour, she was finished. She folded all four and rolled off her mattress and landed lightly on the floor.

She moved over to her vanity, pushing aside her bag of makeup and snatching up four identical, weathered envelopes.

They had been using the same ones since first year, a sort of tradition between them. They each had four envelopes, all with one of the others names scrawled on them, and whenever they sent a letter,

they had to use the corresponding envelope.

Lily slid the letters into their proper envelopes and slid the flap into the opening at the back. She stacked them in her hands and headed out of the dormitory, hopping down the stairs.

When she reached the common room, it was occupied. James was in his chair by the hearth with Sirius spread out on the couch.

Her stomach tightened, her heart leaped into her throat and she strode as softly as she could past them, expecting an angry outburst or some sort of shout. Instead, they both ignored her, stony silence prickling at her expectant ears.

Somehow, their silence was worse. At least if they attacked her she could fight back, but their lack of communication hid their true feelings from her. It also made her even angrier than she had been. James thought that she was so in the wrong that he was just going to ignore her? He somehow thought that was the best way to fix things?

She ground her teeth together as the portrait swung open and she stalked out into the hall. Did she hurt his massive ego so much that he couldn't even bring himself to speak to her? She had not been

defending him. He knew about her mother, knew that she had felt all the same things he had in third year when both his parents died. He also knew that she had a viciously rigid moral code when it came to that subject and that she would get into an argument or fight over it regardless of who was being taunted for a fallen family member.

The staircase leading to the owlery loomed up in front of her and she bounded up it, taking two steps at a time. The owls all welcomed her with loud screeches and her own tawny messenger swooped down and landed in front of her, on a low lying beam.

"Okay, Harvey," She said, "Another big trip." She tied two letters to each of his legs and reached down to where a closed bucket of owl treats sat. She pried the lid off and pulled out two. Harvey took them

eagerly, munching hard. She replaced the lid and stroked his beak. He gave her an affectionate nip and spread his wings. He took off, soaring out one of the many windows and out across the sky.

Lily made her way down the steps again with no real plan for the day. When she honestly thought about it she realized that she planned on spending the day with the Marauders, but because of the breakfast

fiasco, that wasn't going to happen.

At the bottom stood Remus, with his hands deep in the pocket of his school trousers, his hair flopping down into his eyes. He looked up when she reached him and sighed heavily, his mouth settling into a tight line.

"Did you fight with them?" Lily asked softly, "On my behalf?"

"James expects too much of you," Remus snapped, "Doesn't it bother you?"

Lily ran her hand back through her hair, "Of course it bothers me." Remus was the one Marauder that got it. The one that was her friend simply because he liked that she was smart and nice, the one that didn't stop talking to her every time she made a mistake.

Remus threw his hands up, "It's not fair to you. You mess up slightly and he just gets so upset. You're human."

Lily sighed heavily, crossing her arms, "It's always been that way."

"Yeah but-" He stopped, "That's reason you're not together. Even if you insist it's because you think he's insufferable, that's it, isn't it?"

"I'm not with James because we wouldn't work out," Lily told him, then tipped her head back, "And because of that. He doesn't care about who I really am, he just thinks I'm this perfect girl that was somehow made for him."

"Are you okay?" Lily asked suddenly, eager to change the subject, "At breakfast you were fine, all calm and well... you. And now," She gestured to him, all rumpled hair and red cheeks.

"I just heard James talking to Sirius," He told her, "And then I talked to him. He insisted that you weren't like other girls when I told him you had real emotions, that you were allowed to mess up. It just made me so angry."

"Remus," Lily said softly, putting her hand on his shoulder, "You don't have defend me against your friends." She felt horrible now; just because James was being a prat to her didn't mean Remus had to fight with them.

"I'm just doing this because it's not fair," He insisted, "It's like you. You attacked Rosier because he was being an asshole. James didn't like it for some stupid egotistical reasons," He made a vague motion in the air with his hand, "and because he thinks that you should be able to know exactly how he wants you to act all the time. So, I defended you because it's not right of him."

"Do you know if he's going to talk to me anytime soon?" She asked, "Not that I'm dying to be best friends with him, but Gryffindor house will be strained if the two Prefects with the most influential friend groups are fighting."

"I'm guessing Sirius told him to forget about you," Remus told her, "Like he always does. Maybe James listened this time."

Lily shrugged, "It doesn't make a difference to me, personally, I just don't want Slytherin to win the bloody house cup again."

Remus laughed, but it was hollow and short-lived, "Yeah, that'd be a damn shame."

"Is that sarcasm I hear?" Lily asked, "Why the change of heart?"

"Maybe it's just because I'm mad at James," Remus said quietly, "But I don't think he needs his ego stroked any higher at the moment."

"Just at the moment?" Lily laughed, "Potter never needs his ego stroked."

Remus laughed again, truly, "I guess you're right."

"I was thinking about going for a walk," Lily lied, she hadn't been thinking that at all, but she didn't want to leave Remus' soothing company, "Want to come?"

He smiled down at her, "Sure. That seems preferable to trying to sneak through the common room without talking to Pr-" He stopped, cleared his throat, "James or Sirius."

"I thought so," She agreed, starting to laugh when he offered her his arm, in true gentlemanly fashion. She slipped her arm though his and they walked, talking of everything save for his friends.

The rest of the week progressed much like the day of the fight. James and Sirius ignored Lily with a passion and as much as she wanted to say that it was a relief that he was leaving her alone, she was upset, slightly. She didn't like silence that greeted her when she entered the common room at night, nor did the angry glares from Sirius do anything for her confidence. Remus stuck by her, however, to her immense relief. He continued to speak to her and spent most of his holiday time by her side. He even proofread her werewolf and animagi essay, telling her of several misconceptions about both species.

Then, the second Monday of the holidays, Remus was sitting with James and Sirius when she came down for breakfast. Her heart leaped into her throat and her stomach tightened almost painfully. She ignored them completely, taking a seat at the very edge of the Gryffindor table and digging into her bacon and eggs with unwavering concentration. When the owls came, swooping down over the table, relief flooded her. She would finally have something to stare at, something to occupy her focus other than her slowly emptying plate of food.

Harvey landed with a soft thump beside her and dipped his beak in her goblet of pumpkin juice. With a small smile she noticed that there was now a small sling attached to each of Harvey's claws, stretching out in between them. There were five letters in the pouch and the one on top was clearly addressed to her in her father's handwriting. She plucked them out and removed the pouch, loosely wrapping it around one talon so he had more room to move. He gently pecked her finger and flew off, disappearing to the owlery with the group of other birds.

She opened her father's letter first, sliding it out of the envelope and unfolding it:

My Lily,

Paris is beautiful, you would love it. The streets are narrow and the buildings tall. The scenery is fantastic, you would be having a field day with my old camera. I miss you very much and hope that your holidays are well. I refuse to give you your present until I am there to see it, so you'll get it at Easter. I made the little pouch for Harvey when he came to see me. He really is a smart bird. He had all the letters from your little friends on his legs and it looked tiring. It's just made out of an old sock and some elastics, hopefully it held for the journey.

Hoping to see you soon,

Dad.

With a smile Lily refolded it with the full intention of responding after breakfast. She folded it and then proceeded to read Marlene, Alice and Hestia's.

Marlene hinted at committing promiscuous acts with an "adorable Muggle boy named Nate," while Alice simply wished her well and said that she wanted to send some Christmas food but her family ate it all. Hestia, as always, was short and to the point, telling Lily to simply hit James over the head with his broomstick and tell him to stuff it. She then wished her a Happy Christmas and said she hadn't bought her a present yet and that Lily would get it in January.

Lily collected all of her letters in one hand and swung her legs over the edge of the bench, hurrying from the Great Hall without looking down the table at the Marauders.

"Lily!" Remus called, his voice following her out into the corridor, "Lily, wait!"

She stopped, not turning around and forcing Remus to circle her to see her face, "I'm not mad that you made up with them, Remus. They're your friends."

"You're my friend, too," He said softly, "And I haven't made up with them. We've just decided to tolerate each for the next few days."

"Why?" Lily asked, "Some weird boy pact that I won't understand?"

His mouth quirked up at one corner, "Not quite."

"You're not going to tell me, are you?" She asked, smoothing down her hair and then tugging at the hem of her light blue cardigan.

"No," He said firmly, "Sorry Lils."

She smiled, "You're allowed to have secrets, Remus. And, you don't have to keep fighting with them for my benefit. Although, I was under the impression that you and I were on the same page."

"We are!" He said quickly, his eyes becoming as round as the plates in the Great Hall, "Like I said, we've just decided to tolerate each other for a few days. For... personal reasons."

"Alright," She smiled softly, "I've got to go answer letters."

"Yeah," Remus said, barely answering her smile, "Of course."

Lily moved around him, quickly heading for the common room. She wasn't mad at Remus, truly. She knew that he thought she was, though; but she didn't blame him for wanting to make up with his friends. They had been together for as long as she could remember, and Hogwarts would be a vastly different place without their group.

She rounded the corner and stopped dead, coming nose to nose with Severus Snape. Her ex-best friend. The boy who had called her a mudblood in front of a huge crowd of people. The boy who was once sweet and innocent that now hung out with the likes of Evan Rosier and Avery Mulciber.

Great.

"Lily," Snape said eagerly, pushing off the wall he was leaning on, "I need to talk to you."

Even better.