Chapter Twenty-Six

If I Accept Your Apology, Does That Mean . . .

It was this time of year that Iroha hated most.

The long nights, reminding her of nights when the girls would sleep over at Aria's apartment during high school, sleeping during the short day and seeing if they could stay awake from nightfall to daybreak. The cold weather, making her painfully alert of every painful memory that still lingered in her mind, more poignant now than ever. The reminder of what had once existed in these days, that one moment when blissfulness and innocence were both shredded into unrecognizable bits, leaving scars on Iroha, Aria, and the sharpest on Rin.

On one of those nights, right at the end of it, the time right before morning, Iroha was dashing around the house, gathering the sheets she'd left scattered the previous night, when a knock came on the door. She quickly glanced toward it but decided against answering since she really didn't have the time. Yuki was still sound asleep despite the fact that it was almost noon since today was the last day of her vacation, and Rin had already left for work. Iroha had managed to get permission to work from home today, but she'd left her work thrown about the house last night. She usually stayed home this time of year, her boss had remarked, and she'd laughed it off innocently, but she knew very well that she did. She couldn't stand being around people this time of year. She was nearly a different person, a person barely recognizable if she didn't play pretend and act like who she usually was.

When the knocking came again, Iroha felt a prickle of annoyance but headed to the door, anyway. She forced herself to pretend that she was the same person she always was when she opened to Miki's apologetic face, Piko by her side, and the other woman immediately requested, "Could you please watch Piko for the day?"

Iroha was startled, but a dark suspicion surfaced quickly enough as she tried to find Miki's hidden motive. Miki had never come and asked her to watch Piko. She usually asked indirectly, through Yuki, and only ever did so when she was completely desperate since she could usually pawn her brother off on Neru's parents. Iroha and Miki hadn't gotten along well ever since that argument they'd had about Rin's behaviour toward Yuki, and Miki's feelings toward Rin were still rather unclear. Catching Iroha's mood, Piko insisted, "I'm okay on my own, Miki."

"No, you're not," Iroha interrupted, reacting quickly when she saw Miki's fidgeting and frantic gaze. She look some pity on the woman, at least, which was a lot coming from Iroha on one of these nights that followed the New Year. "He can stay here for the day. I'll wake Yuki up. When are you going to be back?"

"Around six," Miki replied, nudging her brother forward with a grateful smile. If she was uncomfortable leaving him in Iroha's care, she didn't show it. She seemed to have much more pressing matter to worry about. "I'm sorry, but I really have to run. Thank you so much for this."

"Yeah, no problem," replied Iroha, gently guiding Piko into the apartment. She eyed Miki suspiciously, however, once Piko's back was turned, but Miki wouldn't meet her gaze. To free the woman, Iroha said, "Go do whatever it is you have to do."

Miki disappeared then, and Iroha closed the door behind the young boy, wondering what it was that was bothering her child's teacher. But Iroha, too, had more pressing matters, more important problems to dwell on as she headed into her daughter's room and gently shook the child awake.

. . .

"Our parents passed away just a few days before my high school graduation."

Miki said those words before Iroha asked later that day, cherry eyes on the cup of coffee in her grasp. She'd cupped her hands around the mug for warmth, looking up only to offer a grateful smile to Ring when the waitress placed a small piece of cake before her and one before Iroha. The girl sensed the mood and politely headed back to her other customers without a single word.

Rin had come home about an hour before Miki had returned. The teacher had requested to speak to Iroha, not Rin, and left the children in Rin's care while the two other women headed to the café Yuki enjoyed frequenting. Iroha had thought to grab her wallet, luckily enough, though Miki had forgotten hers. Iroha had insisted on treating her despite her dislike for the woman who'd accused Rin of such terrible things. Iroha glanced out the window to see how far the darkness had fallen already despite the still early hour of the evening.

Miki seemed more reserved than usual, twisting the mug back and forth within her grasp as a tell for her nervousness. She continued to speak with confidence, however, and said, "They were going to America for business, but their plane never reached there. I got the call at exactly four seventeen in the morning. I was barely awake, and I was still a teenager at that. I couldn't properly process what the people on the line were saying, and I fell asleep with the phone still against my ear. It wasn't until I woke up that I realized that it hadn't just been a dream."

Iroha didn't know why it was Miki was telling her this, and, in her current state, wasn't interested in this story in the least. Sure, she would have liked some explanation for Piko being left in her care that morning, but wasn't this a little much to be telling her? Miki had made it clear that she wasn't a true fan of Iroha or Rin, after all. As Miki's eyes remained on her coffee, Iroha's remained equally on the steaming cup of tea Ring had placed before her.

"Piko was a baby at the time. He was barely a year old, but my parents trusted me with him. So, when my aunt came to tell me that she'd be adopting him and that I'd be living with my other aunt until I figured out what I was doing with my life, I argued vehemently." She laughed without humour, bringing Iroha's eyes up to her, but the other woman was still staring down at her coffee. "I guess, in the end, I kidnapped Piko." She stared ruefully at the swirling steam, raising her gaze only a little. "I took him in the dead of night and came here. Of course, in that moment of passion, I didn't realize how completely useless that was. It wasn't like I could leave Piko alone all day and work, right? Somebody had to take care of him.

"I met Lily by chance. She was my waitress at this café, actually." She gesticulated about herself, so Iroha cast her gaze around the room, vaguely interested by Miki's sullen tone. "She listened to my story, and she got me a job here. She's a couple years younger than me, but, even back then, she already knew what she was doing with her life. She was going to be working at the local elementary school when she graduated, she said, to look over her little sister. Neru was Piko's age, of course, so she understood a little why I refused to let anyone take him away.

"She took him in, really. Her parents did, at least. When she explained everything to them, they took pity on us and took Piko in so that I could work during the day and pay them back for everything. There were times when I wouldn't see my little brother for weeks on end. My hours were too strenuous, and life really sucked sometimes, especially when I couldn't see him to remind myself why I was doing it all. It changed once I got the teaching job, though. Luckily, no one here seems to want to get into education, so they accepted me despite my lack of qualifications. Piko was four at the time, so he was starting school, too. He didn't like me at first when I had him move back in with me. Lily and Neru and their parents were his family, after all, not me. He warmed up to me eventually, but those first few months were absolute hell."

She looked up at me now and stated, "You're wondering why the hell I'm telling you all of this, aren't you?"

Hesitantly, Iroha nodded and further elaborated, "It's pretty out of the blue, and I don't see what you get out of telling me all this. I'm not going to give Yuki up for what might be the better, if that's what you're trying to tell me."

Miki laughed softly and shook her head, smiling delicately. "No, it's not that at all. It's quite the opposite, really." Iroha flinched at the screeching of the chair against the floor as Miki pushed back from the table. Then, tension ran through the kittyler, her cheeks going bright red as Miki came to her knees on the floor and pressed her forehead against the tiles. "I sincerely want to apologize to you, Iroha, for everything I've said against you and Rin these past months. I failed to see the similarities in our situations. Just like I couldn't let them take Piko away, you won't let anyone that Yuki away. She may not be related to you by blood, but she's still your daughter."

Iroha stood up frantically, feeling gazes on her and Miki, and dashed to the other woman, forcefully pulling her to her feet. She didn't want to deal with more people than she had to, especially the nosy people whose attention they'd attracted. "Okay, okay, no need to go overboard. Just apologize if you really have to."

Miki stared Iroha straight in the eyes, determination lingering in her starry gaze, and said, "I'm incredibly sorry that I misjudged your intentions in raising Yuki, Iroha. From what I've heard from Piko, I have no doubt in my heart that both you and Rin are meant to be her parents."

After guiding Miki back into her seat and taking her own once more, Iroha questioned sharply, "Why now, Miki? You've had tons of time to apologize."

Miki's gaze fell once more, and she murmured softly, "I need you to take care of Piko for me."

Iroha blinked at her, not understanding, and questioned, "What? Why?"

Miki's face was flushed with shame as she drew her drink to her lips and took a slow sip, buying herself time to compose herself. The mug clinked softly against the table as she lowered it once more. "I've managed to keep myself hidden for eight years, but my past finally caught up with me." Her eyes were flaring with anger, oddly out of character for the composed woman, as she glowered at the tabletop. "After all this time I've spent raising Piko, my aunt finally found me, and she wants to take him back. My parents' last wills vote in her favour, but I don't want her to. She's a rotten woman." Iroha didn't miss the gleam of tears in Miki's frustrated gaze, but they both still sat stiff, Iroha unable to bring herself to comfort the woman she was beginning to sympathize with and Miki clearly unable to hold herself back otherwise. Iroha's resentment for the woman hadn't yet faded, though she knew it would someday soon. "I placed first in my class for the final exams, missing only one point. Do you know what my aunt said when she found out? She didn't smile or congratulate me. All she said was 'What happened to the last point? This is nothing to be proud of. You two coddle her too much.'" She squeezed her eyes shut, and a teardrop fell, shattering against the tabletop as she curled her hands into fists on her lap and shook her head. "I'll never let that woman talk to my baby brother like that, never."

They fell into silence then, and Iroha felt Ring's worried gaze wandering over from the table she was serving. Iroha tried to see things from Miki's perspective, despite having a lingering distaste for that woman.

If Yuki were to be taken by the person Iroha hated most, what would Rin do? Rin would do everything to get her back, of course. If the same thing happened to, say, Ryuto, what would Rin do? It would matter so much to Yuki that Rin would do anything to protect him, even if it meant fleeing into the night. Justice ran strongly in Rin, just as it seemed to in Miki. But what about Iroha?

Had she been in Miki's situation, Iroha would have resolved to her fate and gone to boarding school, leaving Piko with a woman she knew to be terrible. She would have left Len behind, left everyone behind, and done what she was told. She'd never have fought back. She wasn't like these people. She wasn't like Len, or Rin, or Aria, or Miki, or Lily. She wanted to protect Yuki and Rin for selfish purposes. She wasn't selfless like Aria, who'd moved to England for the sake of her husband's career, or compassionate like Lily, who'd helped out a complete stranger who'd been in need. Iroha might not have even liked Yuki if Yuki had been cold at the beginning, like Piko had supposedly been to Miki. Iroha was usually unforgiving, spoiled by Len's overwhelming capacity for forgiveness.

Rin was better now. Did she really still need someone like Iroha around to care for Yuki? Rin was a better parent by far.

"I haven't forgiven you," Iroha slowly told the woman, who looked at her with an expression of despair, fearing the rejection. "Someone hurt someone I love a long time ago, and I'm not sure I can ever forgive anyone who reminds me of that." Iroha stared at the untouched cakes before the two of them, a vague recollection coming to her. "It was around this time of the year, too, when that happened, so my judgment's a little hazy, I suppose." She took a spoon off the table and began to stir her tea as she added, "But Piko is Yuki's precious friend, and I really like him, so Rin and I will take care of him until you can care for him again." Gently, she allowed herself to smile for the woman, seeing the joy in her eyes. It was this dark season, when nights were the longest. This season always had her thinking of the past, the dark emotions from that stage in her teenage life resurfacing. The cold weather of the New Year chilled her heart if she started thinking of those days, but Miki's kind, grateful smile made it thaw just a little. "Promise to come back for him, though. He needs you."

"There's no way I'll ever let Piko go," Miki swore. "I'll fight for him to the death. Thank you so much, Iroha."

It was Rin that made Iroha merciful in these merciless days. She couldn't remind Rin of those dark past days, so she had to try to forget the season. Rin would want to take care of Piko, Iroha knew, so maybe having an extra life in the house would be a good way to keep both their minds off the past. Iroha smiled, just a little, and said, "I think I can forgive you, though. Your only sin was caring too much, though that really can be a sin if you take it too far."