Lily, once again, found herself in the library, in her secluded back corner. Only this time, she was far from alone. She had Alice next to her, poring over a Charms textbook and Marlene on her other side, twirling her quill wildly around in her ink pot. Then, there was Sirius across from them, his head in his hand as he stared blatantly at Marlene with a small smile on his face.

"Sirius?" Lily asked with a giggle and his head shot upwards, sending her a glare. "How's your studying coming?"

"Fine, thanks," he muttered, turning his face back down to his textbook and beginning to read with a look of intense concentration on his face, Lily suspected the look was just for show, though.

James sat next to him, across from Lily, and had his long legs stretched far out so that the tips of his trainers were just touching the underside of her flats. With slight annoyance she nudged at his toes with the flat of her foot. He looked up and offered her a smirk she rolled her eyes at. She and James had not had any further conversation after he had left the hospital wing, but the constant tension had been driving her up the wall. She had acknowledged there was something between them and then ran off, bright red and more embarrassed than she could ever remember being.

Two and a half weeks had passed since then and everything had sort of fallen back into a natural rhythm. The Marauders spent the majority of their time with the girls studying for the upcoming exams. James and Sirius had gotten back to playing pranks and Lily found that she and Remus were closer friends than ever. Peter had, as usual, dug into his schoolwork with a fiery passion and had refused their offer for study help, saying that he studied better without distractions. He was holed up on the other side of the library, poring over a Herbology textbook to prep. Admittedly, he wasn't the smartest student - most of the time wouldn't pass without Remus' help - but he tried and Lily liked him for that reason.

However, just because things were running smoothly with the Marauders and their female counterparts, didn't mean everything else was fine as well. The Dementor's seemed to be acting of their own accord; leading Dumbledore to set up thick wards around the school grounds to keep them out.

Across the table, Sirius leaned forwards suddenly, casting his eyes across the row of girls. "So, who do you think is controlling the soul-suckers?" He had a look of amusement and curiosity on his face.

That was when Mary and Hestia appeared behind him. The latter swiftly smacked him across the back of the head, dropping down into the spare chair beside him. "Really?"

He rubbed his skull absently. "What was that for?"

Mary sat down in between Marlene and Hestia, sending Sirius a look that she was famous for. It clearly said: you have got to kidding me, how thick are you?

"You're being rude, Sirius," Alice said softly, pulling her face up from her book. "It's inconsiderate."

Sirius sighed with all the drama of a twelve year old girl and flopped backwards in his chair. "I just want to know what you think!"

There was a sharp hissing and they all jumped, looking back over at the librarian, who had her index finger pressed to her lips. "Quiet! You are in a library."

"Sorry," Lily said, and they all leaned together. "Well, who do you all think it is?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Hestia said suddenly, "It's Death Eaters. It's got to be!"

"Since when do you believe in all those stories?" Marlene snorted. "It's just a regular run of the mill psycho."

"Regular run of the mill psycho?" Mary hissed, "With the fingerprints of dead witches and wizards? This is some dark magic, guys. Dark."

Lily's eyes met James's and she remembered the conversation they had had that day, about a looming war. "I agree with Hestia." James smiled, his dark eyes showing his agreement. "I think-" She stopped and shook herself. "I think we're on the brink of war or something."

Beside her, Alice shuddered. "What if we are? How are we supposed to deal with that? I mean, people are already dying. What if the body count just keeps going up?"

"The ministry will get it under control," Remus said softly, but even then, his voice didn't show complete confidence in his words. "They will, right James?" He cast a sideways glance at James, who frowned uncertainly.

"I don't know," James admitted. "They have no leads, other than the bloody Death Eaters and nobody really knows anything about them."

"What about their leader?" Sirius asked. "Isn't he just some young guy? Voldemort, or something just as ridiculous?"

"If he really has managed to get so many followers," Lily murmured, "How? None of us could do it, no matter how confident and sure of our cause we were. Who could actually round up a whole crowd of people and convince them that anyone who isn't a pureblood is scum? Who could gather so much support they could start a war?"

They all jumped as the bell rang and they slowly pulled themselves from the warm huddle they had created for themselves. Alice slipped around Lily, pulling her bag onto her shoulder and murmuring something about having to talk to a teacher before class.

Marlene caught Hestia's arm and asked for a walk to the common room while Mary hung by Lily's side.

"Do you think Alice'll be alright?" Mary asked. "She's so sensitive. I don't want her to be upset or worried about all of this."

"We should be worried," Sirius said, leaning his chair back on two legs, making no attempt to move. "People need to pick camps. Either they believe it'll happen or they believe it won't."

"I'm guessing you believe it won't?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow and stuffing her Potions book into her bag. "Going off of your nonchalance."

"No," Sirius shrugged. "It's happening. People are going to die and things are going to happen. But we'll be ready for it. We'll be ready for it all. We'll fight. We'll win. And, we'll all live happily ever after."

Lily was about to retort something quickly back but Mary interrupted her: "You think?"

Sirius sent her a smile. "Of course."

Mary laughed then and shook her head. "I have to go; I'll see you all later." She scurried off, disappearing through the shelves and presumably out the door.

Remus pushed himself from his seat. "We'll all be fine. We'll have to be."

Lily looked at him and smiled. He smiled back and walked around behind James to grab Sirius by the back of his loose hanging tie and pull him off of his chair.

"Oi!" Sirius yelled, flopping around for a moment before popping up. "What was that for?"

"If you don't get to Transfiguration today, you'll fail your exam," Remus pointed out, grabbing his friend's wrist. "Come on."

They pushed and pulled out of sight and then Lily was left alone with James, who was staring at her again.

"James, I-" She started, but he held up a hand and rounded the table to stand in front of her. "James, I mean it-"

"I know you do," he said. "You think you'll hurt Remus' feelings. You think you're not ready," he paused and smiled, "You're terrified and-" He chuckled and pulled at his hair. "Bloody hell, Lily so am I. But, I respect you. You know that, right? If you say no I'll back off."

"I've said no before, James," Lily laughed. "Several times if I remember."

"None of them were as important as this one," James said, and Lily realised it was true. "Because neither of us meant anything serious by it. But, now?" He lifted his arms in a soft gesture, "Now it means a lot. A whole lot. And I'm willing to wait until you're ready."

Lily looked down and laughed again. "I never thought this would be a possibility."

"Why?" James asked, "You thought that I'd have to change for you?"

Lily's head shot up. "No! Of course not. James, you're the same person you were. I've changed," she said, her jaw set, "But not for you or for Remus. For me. The things that began at Christmas, well, they've changed me."

James chuckled, "No, you're still you; your feelings about everything have just changed." He huffed softly, "Now, enough of this. Walk you to Charms?" He held his arm out for her in a mock display of propriety. "You once said private gentlemanly displays didn't count."

She laughed and nodded, sliding her arm through his. "Now you're getting the hang of it."

Exams went by quickly and soon, Lily was standing at the foot of her bed stuffing her robes down into her trunk and trying in vain to get the latch to close. She was wearing muggle clothes, a luxury she had missed. While the robes made her feel like a witch, in truth, there was nothing better than a comfortable pair of jeans and a jumper.

Finally, she got the latch shut and slumped against it, sighing with relief. Behind her, the dorm door opened and Lily turned around, finding Marlene standing there in her own street clothes - a nice black skirt with a simple blue t-shirt.

"Ready?" She asked, looking at Lily's bulging trunk. "Wow. I think you're leaving with more than you came with."

"Ha ha," Lily chuckled. "I bought my dad a hat in Hogsmeade that last weekend, remember? It's taking up more room than I thought."

"Why'd you buy him that?" Marlene asked. "Didn't you just see him at Easter?"

Lily had, in fact, seen her father at Easter. But it hadn't been a particularly pleasant visit, what with Petunia refusing to show up now that she lived with her new boyfriend, Vernon. Her father was upset the entire time and when he handed over her late Christmas present, he disappeared into his bedroom the second she finished opening it. It had been lovely – a pair of dangling golden earrings, and a jumper made of soft black material – but he had been in such a sour mood she had decided to push the entire visit from her memory.

"Yeah," Lily said with a shrug, "But I think he'll like it." She paused. "I need to get fetch Harvey from the Owlery, want to come?"

"No need," Marlene said. "Alice went and got him while you were packing. We're all ready now."

Lily swallowed hard and nodded, reaching over to grab her wand from her bed. "Alright, let's go home."

The hallways were swarming with people, meaning Lily struggled to keep beside Marlene, much less the others. But finally they were outside and gliding down towards the train, the thick summer air clinging to their hair and landing against their faces with each soft breeze.

The sun glared down between the thin layers of green leaves whispering against each other above Lily's head. She wished she had a few more moments – a few more days, even – to sit in the sun by the Black Lake and watch the water ripple. She just wanted more time to bask in the sun, to roll down her school socks and shuck off her jumper and robes and just lie in the heat in her blouse and skirt. But term was over and she was being sentenced to eight weeks with her overwhelmingly sad father and her absent sister and the pictures of her mother scattered over the walls and covering the mantle.

When they broke through the crowd Lily spotted the Gryffindor Head Girl, Louise, looking around with a sad expression, absently holding a compartment door open. She smiled at Lily, nodding softly, and Lily understood her sadness. Louise was graduating. She was now heading to wherever students went after their school lives ended and she was scared and sad; she was going to miss the things that "real life" didn't have. Lily understood because she knew that next year she would be feeling the same.

Lily heard her name being called out, loudly and desperately over the loud crowd noises that drifted over the platform. She stepped back, ushering the others through the door ahead of her, and turned around to look for the owner of the voice.

Then Severus Snape pushed through the crowd and caught her eye. He rushed forwards, lunging towards her and catching her wrist in his hand. "Lily, please, listen to me. He's planning something and they know. They all know-"

She yanked her hand from his. "I don't know what you're talking about and frankly, I don't care."

"Please, Lily," he begged, "I need your help. They know everything he's going to do-"

Intrigued, she asked, "Who?"

"Voldemort," he hissed, the word barely making it to her ears over the loud shouts on the platform. "The Death Eaters. They're a part of it. Mulciber. Rosier. All of them!"

"Whatever," she snapped, but her voice was shaking more than she wanted it to. She had no reason to trust him, but she did have reason to tell her friends and James, who would definitely tell his father about what Snape had said. "Have a nice summer."

She turned on her heel and went to move towards the train, but he caught her hand again and roughly pulled her back. She cried out, stumbling and falling against the outside of the train.

He stood there, looking angry, albeit slightly frantic. "You have to listen to me. Come on." Still holding her wrist he dragged her through the crowd to a small, empty space where the grass met the platform.

"Let go of me," Lily said, using her other hand to grab the handle of her wand, sticking slightly out of the pocket of her jeans.

"No-" Snape began to say, but was cut off by a voice from somewhere behind Lily.

"Wow," James said, "You're an even bigger git than I thought. She asked you to let her go, Snape."

"I'm not talking to you, Potter," Snape practically spat, "Get lost."

"I won't do that until you do what she says," James retorted calmly. "Not until I'm sure you're not up to anything funny."

Reluctantly, Snape dropped her wrist and took a small step away. "Better?"

"Much," James said, moving around Lily so his back was to her. "Now I can do this without hitting her by mistake." Then, James Potter lifted his fist and drove it into Severus Snape's face. The latter dropped, clutching his nose and crying out. "When a girl says no, it generally means no, you bloody idiot."

"James!" Lily cried out, rushing forwards to grab his arm in an attempt to avoid more violence, "What are you doing?"

"What I should have done a long time ago," he muttered, not moving his arm from her grip but also not turning to look at her. "Get lost, Snape."

Shaking, Snape stood and sent Lily the dirtiest glare she had ever seen cross his face. "You pick great friends."

"They're better than you," she whispered. "They're all better than you. When we were friends, we were a demented little group with no outside ties. It wasn't healthy. Then you ruined it for yourself. Leave."

He didn't say anything, just shook his head sharply and left, pushing past them and into the swarm of students surrounding the train.

James turned and looked at her then, moving closer until his face was close to hers. "Are you alright?" Softly, he pushed her hair from her face. "What did he want?"

"He was saying-" She stopped and turned her head away at his contact, then continued: "He was saying that Mulciber and Rosier – all of them – were a part of it. Then he mentioned Death Eaters and Voldemort."

"He's obviously full of it," James said dismissively, shrugging. "Was there anything else?"

"Just that he was planning something and that they knew," she said. "James what if he's not lying?"

"He's got to be," James insisted. "Why would a guy with that many followers want Mulciber? Or Rosier? They're bloody useless."

"It-" she stopped and shook her head, but then continued: "It gives him an inside source for the castle, James. Hogwarts is the largest stock of witches and wizards in the country. It makes sense."

"But them though?" James said, smoothing his hands out onto her shoulders. "I'll tell my dad. Will that make you feel better?"

She looked up at him and smiled. "Yeah, it would."

"Then I'll tell him," he smiled, "Okay?"

"Okay." She nodded. "I'm sorry, I'm just paranoid."

"We all are," he said with a shrug. "We're all freaking right out." Then, his eyes softened and he moved his hands to cup her face.

"James-" She started to say, but stopped when he froze.

"Lily?" He asked, "You can tell me no."

Lily didn't say anything, just sighed softly and stared at him, stared at those dark, intelligent eyes and that soft mouth; she stared at the tenderness he had on his face. The tenderness, she realized, he had whenever he looked at her.

That was when he leaned down and kissed her. It wasn't something she expected to want, nor did she expect to begin kissing him back with so much ferocity. Her hands slid up from his arm (which she had been firmly grasping since he punched Snape) to his hair, tangling in that dark mess as his palms glided down to the curve of her waist. She found herself absolutely fixated on the feel of his hair against her palms, running through her fingers. It was soft and thick and absolutely fantastic.

Then, the nagging voice in the back of her head piped up. Lily. What are you doing? You and James would be all over the place. You've been saying no to him for years. You and Remus broke up three weeks ago! You should still be upset, it's the rules! But, then he pulled her closer, closer, close enough that she was pressed flush against his chest. He gently pressed himself down against her mouth and her lips fell open underneath his. Just as she was shutting up that stupid, incessant voice, the train's whistle blew and she jumped, bracing her hands on his chest and shoving away.

James stared down at her with a confused expression on his face and then he saw the panic that had to be written on hers. "Lily. Don't. Please. Not now."

He knew her so well. Too well, the voice said. "James. I can't." With one last heavy look she was moving away.

"Lily. Please-" But she was already turning away, rushing through the crowd and forcing her way up the stairs and into the train.

She was going to be the death of him. James waited a moment, until he saw her disappear onto the train, and then pushed through the crowd, which parted for him once they realized it was James Potter with an angry look on his face that was nudging at their backs.

He moved onto the train and headed down the hallway to the compartment he normally shared with the others. When he got there, Sirius and Peter were gone, presumably to the compartment that now held Lily and Marlene and all of their friends. Inside on the long bench seat was only Moony.

James slid open the door, and with an absentminded hand-run through his hair, dropped into the seat across from Remus. He looked up and smiled as James came in, but the expression soon faded as the other boy saw the expression on his face.

"What's wrong?" Remus asked, setting aside the book he had been reading. "What happened?"

James cleared his throat, reluctant. Remus was one of his best friends – he broke up with a girl because he knew James loved her, for Merlin's sake! – but he didn't know if he wanted to tell him that he had just made out with said girl not ten minutes ago. No, make that five.

"Lily happened," James said hesitantly. "I kissed her and then she just kind of..." he trailed off, "panicked and ran off."

"James," Remus said slowly after a moment. "You know her; we both know her. She likes to be in complete control of her life and everything in it. You probably scared her."

"Scared her?" James barked. "I just kissed her!"

"That means more to Lily than it does to you," Remus said softly. "It's a big step in her mind; it changes everything."

"You think it didn't change everything for me too?" James snapped, leaning forwards as the train jerked into motion. "Moony, I've been in love with her since before I even knew what that meant."

"I know," He answered. "It's just-" He stopped, then tried again: "James. She knows the two of you would be off the charts. She's- she's had her heart broken before, James. Long before either of us kissed her, and it's made her extremely cautious."

"She thinks I would hurt her?" James asked. "I would never-"

"James, she was with me because I was safe," Remus cut in. "She thought it would be easy and fine between us. And it was, it was great and I actually miss it-"

"Then why'd you do it?" James nearly shouted as some last string inside of his chest snapped. The thought of Lily, crying and watching "gentle" Remus walking away just made him angrier than he could handle, "Why did you do that to her?"

"Because of this!" Remus answered, throwing his hands into the air. "Because you love her in a way that I will never be able to. You love her as if she is the last thing in the universe; as if she is the only thing in the universe – in your universe, anyway."

"Well, what am I supposed to do?" James sighed, his anger gone. He fell back into his seat. "What the hell am I supposed to do?"

"You get to choose," Remus said. "Wait for her. Wait until she's ready to not control everything or move on."

"That's an impossible choice," James snarled. "So; I either wait God knows how long for her or I try and make myself like someone else?"

"Yeah," Remus shrugged, "I guess."

"That's rubbish," James barked, but he knew Remus made a valid point. The thing was, what was he supposed to choose?

The row of her friends, who were all seated on the bench opposite her, looked very unimpressed.

"Are you kidding?" Marlene snapped, her arms crossed over her chest. "You ran away?"

"Remus and I just broke up and-" Lily started, but Hestia leaned forward with eyes that said murder.

"You broke up three weeks ago," Hestia pointed out, "And he broke up with you because he fucking wanted you to be with Potter."

"I know," Lily snapped. "It's just that, I don't know if I'm ready for this!"

"Ready for what?" Alice asked softly, "A relationship that makes sense? You and Remus were great, I realize that, but you and James would be fantastic. The entire bloody school has been waiting."

"We would be so unpredictable and I don't want to get hurt-"

Mary cut her off. "James Potter would rather break both of his arms than hurt you."

"Funny," Lily said, "I don't remember any of you saying this while we were fighting!"

"Because you would have been fucking pissed," Marlene growled, "but now you're emotionally compromised and we can shove logical information into your head."

"You're terrified of being vulnerable, Lily," Mary said firmly. "James knows you-" She shook her head and shrugged with a helpless expression on her face. "He knows you like no-one else does. We don't even know you like that. That terrifies you because everything would be real with him."

"Things have been real with the other guys I've dated!" Lily yelled. "You're telling me last year with Simon was superficial? I spoke at his mother's funeral!"

"No, we're not saying that," Marlene groaned, tilting her head back. "We're just saying that you and James have the potential to have something fantastic; you're too scared to let him in."

"I am not scared," Lily snarled. "I am the furthest thing from scared."

"You are the strongest person I've ever met, Lily," Alice admitted, "but you are. You're so strong you're scared of losing your strength. You're so wrapped up with being tough and controlled that the thought of losing that frightens you."

"That's wrong; that's not true," she argued helplessly, even though she knew it was. They spent the rest of the train ride in silence.

When they reached King's Cross the girls hugged Lily tightly and insisted on meeting up during the holidays, all of which she responded half-heartedly to. She collected her trunk and Harvey, who was sleeping soundly in his cage, and pushed through the crowd away from her friends to try and find her father. Her mind, however, kept slipping back to wondering where James was and thinking back to everything her friends had said.

Maybe they're right, she thought, dodging around a woman furiously hugging her daughter. I should find James.