Bright red numbers glared at Eren from his alarm clock. Eren winced and rubbed his eyes. He felt something shift beside him, and he looked over to see a mop of two toned brown and blond hair. A mumble slipped from Jean's lips, and he rolled over to face Eren. Somehow, Jean had wrapped the duvet around his legs, and he had slithered his arm around Eren's back, and clung onto Eren with two fingers inside the band of Eren's shorts. Jean's other hand rested on his hip, which was exposed as his boxers hung low. Delicate dark eyelashes rested against Jean's cheek, and his lips were slightly parted as soft breaths puffed out and made Eren shiver as it hit his side. Eren felt something akin to guilt in his chest as he looked at the other sleeping peacefully beside him. He took a deep breath and tried to push the feeling away, as he put his hand on top of Jean's head. Cautious fingers played with Jean's hair, and Eren slumped and stopped thinking. His focus was on the feel of the soft hair running through his fingers, and the way Jean's nose twitched as stray strands of hair fell into his face.

A loud beeping startled Eren. His head whipped around to find the source of the noise, and his eyes eventually landed on the blinking blue light on his bedside table. He picked up his phone and noticed a bunch of messages from Mikasa. Lithe fingers scrolled through them all, and Eren rolled his eyes at some of the worrying tones. He tapped out a reply to tell her he was fine and, no he hadn't killed Jean, and no, he wasn't laying in a ditch somewhere.

"Jesus." A voice murmured as a chin rested on Eren's shoulder.

"Fuck." Eren jumped and looked at the smirking amber eyes. "What the fuck, Jean? Don't creep up on me like that."

"She's kinda protective isn't she?" Jean looked down at Eren's messages.

"You already know that." Eren mumbled.

"Mm." Jean took in a deep breath.

Jean sat up and yawned. He stretched and groaned as his back cracked, and Eren shot him a disproving glare. Jean stuck out his tongue and cracked his knuckles, and grinned at the grimace on Eren's face.

Eren shook his head and jumped out of bed. The floor was cold as fuck. Eren shivered and padded his way into his kitchen. He supposed he'd have to make Jean something for breakfast. Eren rifled through his draws and cupboards to get pans and plates out. He grabbed all the stuff he'd need, and set about cooking breakfast. The smell of frying bacon soon wafted through the air, and Jean emerged from Eren's room. Soft footsteps grew closer until Eren felt Jean's hand brush Eren's back. He looked to the side to see Jean making himself a drink, and acting as though this had happened a thousand times before.

"So." Jean leaned against the counter with his glass in his hand.

Eren looked up from the frying pan to Jean. "What?" He glanced back down and flipped the bacon over.

"Last night." Amber eyes looked over the top Jean's glass as he took a sip.

"What about it?" Eren started to plate up the food.

Jean shrugged and put his glass on the counter. "What do you think about it?" He folded his arms and his eyes bored into the side of Eren's face.

Eren paused. What did he think about it? Part of him wanted to instantly exclaim it was stupid and didn't mean anything at all. Something in him wanted to insult Jean, and say he was lousy and slow, but then again, something stopped him. The part of him that loved a man in his dreams told him to reject Jean immediately, and tell him to leave without breakfast, and maybe even without his clothes. But another part of Eren thought that it was okay. There was something in him that told him to let go of Levi, and instead give Jean a proper shot, and to give himself a shot at having someone he could touch and actually feel. There went the little voice again, screaming at him that he was being stupid, and that he could feel Levi, it just wasn't in the sense of temperature, and that what he felt for Levi was real. But how could it be, when Levi was so obviously in his head, but he seemed too real to just be someone his head had conjured up. Jean was right there, in front of him, and Eren could reach out right there and then, and feel fingers between his own, and it not have the fuzzy, dreamlike quality he had with Levi. He hadn't even known Levi all that long, but he had a feeling that he'd known Levi for so much longer, but he couldn't explain why. As Levi's face flashed across Eren's brain, he felt a sinking feeling in his stomach, and he felt sick. Teary grey eyes filled Eren's head, and he gulped as he struggled with the knots in his stomach. How could he have done that to Levi? But he's not even real! But he was to Eren. Eren was so confused.

Jean cleared his throat. "Eren?"

Eren's eyes shot up to Jean. "Huh?"

"What did you think about last night?"

"In what sense?" Eren grabbed the pan and his spatula and went to put it in the sink.

A hand wrapped around Eren's wrist. "Was it a mistake?" Jean's face twisted into an expression of unease. "Have I made this all really awkward?"

"Uh. " Eren struggled to string two words together. Was it a mistake? "No…"

Jean sighed in relief. "Ah, okay." He reached a hand up and scratched his neck. "I can't help but feel like I was stupid because I rushed it, and I mean," he gave a nervous laugh, "you kind of were all over me-"

"Hey!" Eren felt nauseous. "I wasn't." He shook his head gently and tugged on the wrist Jean held.

"You were a bit." Jean put his arm by his side.

"No." Eren tried to fight the acid that he could feel rising in his throat as grey eyes flashed in his memory again.

"Hey," Jean frowned, "I was a bit too, but- Are you okay?" He leaned towards Eren and tried to get a look at his face.

Eren ran off to the bathroom and slammed his bathroom door shut. He leaned over the toilet and tried to force the rising feeling of sick in his throat. He screwed his eyes shut and gripped onto the nearby sink as tight as he could. Jean's knuckles rapped against the door, and Eren tried to ignore it. Jean tried again.

"Hey, you okay, Eren?"

Eren groaned in response.

"Eren?" Jean slowly opened the door.

His eyes fell upon Eren's desperate clutch of the sink as his legs shook, and his eyes were clamped shut. Jean's eyebrows furrowed and he walked over to where Eren was hunched over the toilet. Jean soothingly ran his hand over Eren's back and he grabbed some tissue, just in case. Eren's head lifted up and he glanced back to Jean with tears in the corners of his eyes. Jean wiped Eren's face carefully and shivered at the gross tissue. He threw the tissue in the toilet and flushed it. Both Eren and Jean washed their hands, and Jean guided Eren to sit on his bed, as Eren's room was closer. Tender fingers brushed the hair back from Eren's face, and Eren nodded to Jean gratefully.

"Were you actually sick?"

"Almost." Eren mumbled.

"Did you eat something funny?" Jean sat down next to Eren and frowned at him.

"It wasn't that."

"What was it then?"

"Nothing." Eren shook his head.

"It wasn't 'nothing'. Have you been around anyone that's been ill?" At the shake of Eren's head, Jean continued. "Uh, did you swallow something dodgy?"

Eren looked up at Jean and stared. Jean's cheeks flushed and he looked away. "Right. Um." Jean cleared his throat. "Maybe something to eat might help?"

Jean stood up and disappeared through the doorway. Eren chewed his lip. Jean was being really nice to him. Granted, he'd almost thrown up in front of him, but he couldn't help but think that Jean had been less of an asshole over the past few days. Whenever Mikasa or Armin had briefly mentioned him, Eren struggled to make a comment, other than about Jean's face, because he couldn't find anything that suggested Jean was being an asshole. Eren laid down on his back and stared at the blank ceiling. When they'd been at the restaurant, Jean hadn't leapt into being a smarmy shit straight away, like Eren had expected. No, in fact, Eren had continued to be a bit of an ass to Jean even when they were at the fair. But then again, Jean was being an asshole at one point, which lead to… Eren shook his head.

What if Eren gave Jean a go? What if he did as Levi had asked and didn't go back? Would he be able to let Levi go? He couldn't shrug off the feeling that he knew Levi so much better. Levi wouldn't have looked so hurt if they didn't know each other more than… what even were they? They weren't strangers that was for certain in Eren's mind, so what were they? Acquaintances? Friends? Or ghost-dream-friends? Just a figment of Eren's brain that he had a crush on? Eren wasn't too sure. Surely it wouldn't be too bad if Eren tried to uncurl his grip on Levi, and replaced it with Jean? Maybe it wouldn't be so bad, to be with Jean. Maybe it wouldn't be so strange to find himself with Jean on the settee curled up with Jean, as some cheesy film played. Would a possible relationship with Jean be such a stupid idea? Again, something screamed 'yes, yes, of course it would be stupid!' but he wasn't so sure.

"Earth to Eren." Jean waved his hand in front of Eren and nodded to the plate in his hand.

"Oh, thanks." Eren grabbed the plate and dug in.

Jean sat beside Eren and watched him carefully. Something definitely wasn't right with Eren. Mikasa had mentioned to him that Eren had turned up to school with dark bags under his eyes, and his hair had been a mess. She said he hadn't been sleeping, and he was a lot quieter than usual, and it was starting to freak her out. As he'd watched her brown eyes tear up and she tried to compose herself, Jean knew that Eren needed something to happen to get him out of the cycle he was clearly stuck in. Jean had nodded his head, and told her he would try to help, because as much as the bastard got on his nerves, he did like Eren. As hard as it was to believe, Jean found the way that Eren's fists clenched and he glared at Jean to be endearing, because there was always a hint of joy in Eren's eyes when they teased each other, or fought about something. Jean liked the playful tone when Eren snapped back at him, and the smirk that would play at the corner of his lips when he thought of a particularly good comeback. Eren had always been an asshole, and he probably always would be, to an extent. His fighting style left elegance to be desired, but he was one hell of a scrapper, Jean couldn't deny that. He also couldn't deny the fact that he enjoyed when Eren got excited about something, even if it was an insult about him, because Eren's eyes would light up, and the sparkle in his eyes left Jean breathless.

Soon Eren had finished his food, and he took a deep breath. He glanced over to see a thoughtful look in Jean's eyes. He stayed quiet and studied Jean's face. His eyes were slightly glazed over in thought as his lips twitched with a small smile. Jean's hand twitched against the bed. Eren watched as Jean blinked and he huffed a laugh through his nose. It sounded to Eren to be of the equestrian variety. Eren snorted, and Jean blinked. Jean raised his eyebrow suspiciously and looked Eren over.

"What's so funny?" Jean leaned back on his hands.

"Your face." Eren smirked.

"Yeah? Well, at least I don't have huge-ass eyebrows on my face." Jean shot back.

"Better than having my face resemble a fucking horse." Eren stood up and put his plate in the sink.

"I do not!" Jean shouted.

"Do too!"

They kept bickering back and forth until Eren stormed back into his bedroom and pushed Jean onto his back with a disgruntled frown. He pinned Jean down, which made Jean raise an eyebrow and cheekily grab the back of Eren's neck as he kissed Eren's cheek. Eren pulled back and looked at Jean with wide eyes. Jean tilted his head questioningly.

"What?" Jean whispered.

"You kissed my cheek."

"Eren, I don't know if you remember or not, but you were practically snogging my face off last night." Jean raised an eyebrow as his other furrowed, and tossed Eren a look of disbelief.

"Yeah, but that was…"

"Was what?"

"It wasn't exactly soft."

"Well of course, I'm always-" Jean caught himself, "What do you mean?"

"It's not meant to be sweet, like," Eren held his breath as he tried to think of words, "like cheek kisses and, stuff!"

Jean's face fell. "Oh." Jean quickly shook his head. "I wasn't being sweet, I was taking the piss. Can't you tell the difference?"

"You weren't taking the piss, because if you were you'd have, I don't know, blown a raspberry on my cheek or pushed me away!"

"No, you're just too dumb to recognise the difference!" Jean puffed up his cheeks.

"Am not!" Eren puffed up his cheeks too. There was the asshole Jean he knew.

"You're confusing the fuck out of me, Eren! I don't- One minute you're acting as though being all," Jean waved his hands around, "soft is fine, and then the next you're saying it's wrong!" Jean covered his mouth quickly and turned away when his brain caught up with his mouth.

Eren paused. "I'm not the one being confusing, you are. What do you mean I acted like 'being soft is fine'? I never said it was okay. In fact, I never explicitly said any of this was okay. You're just making assumptions!"

"You're not being fair, Eren." Jean frowned. "You know that you were. Fine, if it wasn't okay, why did you never push me away? Why did you pull me back and keep going?"

"I don't know!" Eren cried out in frustration as his hands flew to grab his own hair. "I don't know anymore! Everything's so weird, and I feel sick and guilty when I think about you because of Levi!" Eren regretted mentioning Levi, but he'd already said it, so he may as well continue. "He's fucking around with me, and he keeps pushing me away and then appearing again! I feel like I'm losing my mind. No one makes any sense anymore, and the only thing that does keeps leaving. And then you come along, and then you make it even harder! Levi left me alone, because of you. Because I… because we…"

They both looked at each other in silence. Jean's ears hadn't missed the name. He knew the name well. He felt dread weigh him down, and he had a feeling he knew what was up. Eren shifted away. Jean probably thought he was insane or stupid, and he was probably going to ring for tall men in white coats to come and take him away. They'd probably throw him in a cell and force him into a straightjacket and insist that he was a danger to society. He'd be left in a bright room with blinding lights and forced to tell tall shadows everything that he'd ever thought and experienced. A hand hovered over Eren's shoulder, and his eyes flicked up to the hand in question. He glanced up to meet Jean's eyes, and spotted the hint of worry there. Eren swallowed thickly.

"I'm not mad." Eren shook his head. "I'm not insane."

"Eren, calm down." Jean spoke softly.

"I'm not!" Eren slapped his hand onto Jean's shoulder hard. "I swear!"

"Eren."

"Jean, don't put me away!"

"Eren!" Jean grabbed Eren's face to get him to look at Jean. Jean shook his head. "Calm down. You're not being put away anywhere."

"Don't tell Mikasa." Eren's lip quivered. "Please."

"Why don't you want her to know?"

"She'll think I'm mental."

Jean sighed. "I can't promise that, you know."

"Please." Eren held Jean's eyes. "She shouldn't have to worry about me like that."

Jean chewed his lip. He shrugged and let go of Eren. Eren stepped back from Jean and thumped onto his bed. He sat down and put his head in his hands. Jean sat next to him and glanced at him from time to time. They sat like that for a little while, and just let the ticking of Jean's watch be the only sound. Eren kept jiggling his leg up and down as his mind raced over what Jean could be thinking of him. He knew that he was acting a bit unfairly, but everyone was being unfair too. Why did Levi keep telling him to leave, but then why did he come straight back? If he truly didn't want Eren, he'd not have come back, right? Why did it matter what he did with Jean? Levi wasn't real, anyway, right? It didn't matter if some dream got annoyed with him because he tried to make something happen in reality. Did it matter if he wasn't sure if he actually liked Jean like that? But then he'd be stringing Jean along, and that would be wrong. His gut twisted at the thought of it. He didn't want to lead anyone on, or upset anyone, but what could he do? He could forget Levi ever existed, and also cut things off with Jean, and be alone. He didn't like that idea.

"Eren."

"Yeah?" Eren mumbled.

"Do you remember Levi?"

"What do you mean do I remember Levi? 'Course I do, he's been the dude in my nightmares lately."

Jean licked his lips. "No but, do you remember Levi?"

"I don't get what you mean? It's the guy in my nightmares."

"Okay." Jean nodded with uncertainty and sighed.

"What? What's with that reaction?" Eren frowned.

"I'm not the one you should be talking to about that."

"What do you mean?" Eren leaned in to Jean.

"No. Just- I'm not the one you should be talking to about that stuff. I don't want to say something that's wrong." Jean shook his head.

"Jean, just tell me."

"No." Jean stood up. "Maybe I should leave."

"Don't. Tell me, please." Eren got up and followed Jean to his front door.

"Eren, I can't." Jean shook his head and zipped up his jacket. "I uh, I'll just go."

Eren's eyes glared at Jean as he awkwardly almost went for a kiss, and then tried a hug, but decided it'd be better if he just said goodbye and left. Jean took a deep breath, muttered 'bye, Eren', and got a snappy 'bye' in return. The door closed with a soft thud behind Jean, and Eren thumped his head against the door. He raised his fist and slammed it against the closed door, and growled in frustration. Why didn't Jean just tell him? What could he have said wrong? Eren wasn't sure if he was angry that Jean had gone without telling him what he'd meant, or if he was just frustrated from everything that kept buzzing in his head like a swarm of angry bees. He pulled away from the door and gritted his teeth. He needed a distraction. He needed to get out. He needed to hit something.

"Jean." Eren snarled.

He stomped into his room and rifled through the clothes on the floor for his keys. After shoving them roughly in his pockets, Eren shucked on his jacket and tore out of his apartment. The cold wind whipped against his face. The sky had gone from bright midday sunlight, to a murky afternoon, and the overhead clouds suggested rain, but Eren didn't take any notice, as he strode along the path with anger resonating from every step. Earphones made their way into Eren's ears, and he put his music on full blast, to block out every thought and possible noise he might hear. He walked aimlessly for hours, and tried to forget about everything.

As the sky started to get darker, the clouds finally started to let loose. Rain poured endlessly and heavily from the sky, and drenched Eren. Eren wiped the rain from his face and turned down the street and found himself in an alley. The buildings around him were tall, and the walls had spots of brightly coloured graffiti on them. The music in Eren's ears suddenly stopped, and Eren pulled out his phone and saw the fading logo of his phone-brand on the screen. He swore at his phone and then ripped out the earphones. His earphones were shoved into one pocket, and his phone was rammed into the other. Eren looked around properly and took note of the quiet shuffling from the other end of the alley. He'd stopped walking as he sorted out his phone. Somewhere nearby a cat screeched and pelted away between some bins, making a loud crashing sound as the bins toppled to the floor. Eren turned his head in the direction of the sound. The hair on the back of his neck stood up, but he shook off the eerie feeling that crept down his spine.

Voices from further down the alley drifted up to Eren's ears, and he couldn't deny the anxious tensing of his muscles at the sound. He was being stupid, he shook his head and walked forwards. His footsteps were quiet and timid, so he tried to make them sound a bit more certain, and put his foot down more confidently, but inside, his heart thumped in his chest. It was getting pretty dark, and he didn't trust the people at the end of the alley not to jump him.

As Eren neared the end of the alley, figures clad in black hoodies with the hoods up and jeans came into view. They were stood around, talking loudly, laughing obnoxiously, and kicking a bottle between them. When Eren got close, they looked up. He felt his stomach sink. Everything was screaming to turn around and go home the way he came, but his stubborn need to prove himself refused. He kept walking, but he slowed when he heard one of them shout to him.

"Is that Jaeger?"

"I think it's Jaeger."

"Fucking fag."

The group strode up to Eren and stopped just in front of him, cutting him off from the way ahead. He glanced around them and then back at the dangerous eyes staring daggers at him. Eren's hand started to shake a little, and his fist clenched unconsciously.

"Oi, Jaeger. We heard you last night." The tallest figure sneered. The others laughed.

"Yeah. 'Oh, Jean! Jean! Fuck, Jean!' Fucking gross." Another mocked.

"What?" Eren frowned. "What are you talking about?"

"Oh, he suddenly doesn't know what we're talking about." The group laughed again, loud and terrifying, and stood, leering at Eren like starving hyenas eyeing their prey. "Maybe we should knock some sense into him, to show we don't appreciate fags in our country."

"What?" Eren stepped back as the group circled him and trapped him.

"Go on, L, get him." The tallest figure murmured.

One of the figures sprang forward and smashed their fist into Eren's jaw. Eren stumbled back, but didn't get the chance to recover as another person grabbed him from behind and pulled his hair sharply, and sent pain coursing through his head. Everyone had closed in on Eren. He got punched in his side, and someone kicked his legs from under him. Eren fell to his knees and felt tears well in his eyes as grunts of pain got caught in his throat. The wind was knocked out of him as someone kicked him in the stomach. The tallest one of the group leaned over him and delivered a swift kick to Eren's head, and Eren fell back into waiting hands. He was shoved forward onto his face, and the group all crowded around him. He wasn't even given a chance. They each swung their feet at Eren, and he laid on the floor and jerked away from the hits. Blood dribbled out of his mouth from his split lip, and his head throbbed. Kick after kick sent Eren whimpering. One of the shorter, slimmer people in the group had snatched Eren's glasses from him and thrown them to the floor. A black leather boot had raised up, before it came crashing down and obliterated Eren's glasses. He coughed as another punch went into his gut, and he thought of the cost of getting new glasses. He struggled and coughed again, and when his vision cleared a little, he saw crimson blood splattered over the floor. He groaned.

After a while, the group backed off. The leader leaned over and spat on Eren's curled up form, and grinned as he muttered about 'teaching him a lesson he won't forget'. Eren laid in his own blood, and a small puddle from the rain, and whimpered. When he was sure the group was far away, he very slowly sat up. He cradled his jaw and struggled to fight off the tears that were pouring down his face. His hand slapped down into the puddle to disturb the horrid reflection that stared back at him. It had shown puffy cheeks and smeared blood all over his face. His nose had been bleeding at one point, and there was a drying trail of blood leading to his mouth. Eren got to his shaky feet, and gritted his teeth against the searing pain all over his body.

He stumbled his way home. It was well past midnight when he got back. He fumbled with the lock, and eventually got inside. When he closed the door, he didn't bother to take off his jacket or shoes, he just slid to the floor against the door. It stung his face to cry, but he couldn't help it. The pain thrumming through him was excruciating, and all because someone thought they heard…

"So stupid." Eren berated himself through battered lips. He winced.

Again, Eren struggled to his feet and fumbled to the kitchen sink. He stumbled a few times, and his arm flung out as he began to fall. A nearby small DVD stand crashed to the ground, and sent DVDs flying all over the floor. Eren shook his head and leaned over the kitchen sink. He grabbed the nearest tea towel, and tried to clean his face a bit. He was exhausted. He struggled to do much more, and instead ran it under the cold tap. The tea towel pressed against his face and he made it to his room. With a soft thump, Eren fell onto his bed and closed his eyes. It took a while to ignore the pain, but he eventually fell asleep, and was whisked away from feeling the aching of his bones for a little while.