Author's Note: Quick summary of previous chapters. Aria came back to take care of Rin. Out of nowhere, Gumi appeared at Rin's apartment. Rin was terrified, and Gumi taunted her with hints at a story that "may break Rin's heart". When both Aria and Iroha told Gumi to leave, Gumi screamed at them about Len taking everything from her and stormed off. Iroha followed after her and told Gumi to stay away from them. Gumi told Iroha that she plans on taking Yuki from Rin to "help Rin move on". Now we're back to Rin in the apartment.

Chapter Thirty-Three

If You Kept This Secret, Did You Ever Really . . .

"Why am I so weak?" Rin murmured more to herself than to her company as she rested her forehead on her knees. She closed her eyes to stop the thin trail of tears from leaking past her gaze.

"Rin, you're not weak," Aria murmured, kneeling beside her friend, who had crumpled to the floor as soon as Gumi had left. The woman put her arm around Rin and hugged her tightly against her body, but the touch brought little comfort to Rin. It was impossible to feel comfort when this sort of vulnerability pierced through Rin. Nowhere was safe anymore. She wasn't sure if Gumi was gone, if she was still here, if she'd be back any second. There was nowhere to hide. She was trapped again, only, this time, Len wasn't here to guide her to safety. She was completely trapped this time. She was completely alone.

"Mom."

That murmur came to Rin's ears as her thoughts fell into this darkness. She blinked her tears eyes to cure the blurring, casting her gaze up to Yuki, who smiled at her gently despite the great distress that shone in her gaze.

"It's okay, Mom," the child continued, her own gazing tearing up as it met her mother's. "You're plenty strong. You don't need to worry anymore, though, and you don't need to be strong, 'cause me and Mama and Piko and Aria are all here, too. We're all strong, too, so we can help when you're not. 'Cause you, me, and Mama, we're a family, right? And Len, too. Len's with us, too. I know he is, 'cause he always told me that you and him would be together forever."

It wasn't the mention of Len that made Rin break into sobs then, at least not completely. It wasn't her fear of Gumi, or the thought of the safety Yuki promised. It was Yuki herself. Yuki, who, without knowing anything, without understanding the situation at all, did all she could to make her mother feel safe. Even if Iroha left her, ever if Aria returned to Leon, even if Len wasn't truly here, so long as Rin had Yuki, there was no reason for her to be scared. She had someone to protect, after all, so she knew she could be strong. Her love for Yuki was stronger. It was stronger than the terror she felt each time she remembered that night. It was stronger than her fears. So, with all she had, Rin forced those fears from her and hugged the child who had started sobbing. Poor Yuki, so lost and confused. She shouldn't have had to deal with this, so Rin would save her daughter from this pain and misery. There was nothing more important than Yuki's protection, and Rin would never allow herself to forget that.

So long as Rin had Yuki, everything would be okay.

. . .

"Are you sure about this, Rin?"

Iroha had asked that so many times before Rin had finally managed to shrug on her coat and make it out the apartment door. She'd run into Aria, who'd taken Yuki and Piko to school that day, on the way out of the building.

"If you really think you need to do this, I won't stop you, but please be careful, Rin."

Aria had gazed at her cautiously, knowing better than to try to deter Rin once the woman had made up her mind. She'd made Rin promise to call her if anything happened, a promise Rin had no doubt she'd uphold. She was only pretending to be strong, after all, and only pretending to be brave. She was scared, anxious, and had no idea what she was doing. Still, it was a fear she had to face. This had haunted her since high school. She wanted to finally be free, to move on with her life, and this was the only way she could think to do it.

So, Rin made her way to the school Aria had just returned from. Classes didn't start for another half hour, so parents were still dropping off their children. That sickening anxiety weighed on Rin's heart heavier and heavier as she walked closer and closer. Her eyes flicked every which way, looking for that shock of green hair that she'd always recognize.

There it was. Gumi stood at the gates, placing a kiss on Ryuto's head. The boy flinched as she did, but there was a huge smile on his face as his eyes filled with such affection. Gumi's held the same as his, and it alarmed Rin as she watched the woman watch her child run off to school. It was strange. Somewhere along the line, Gumi had stopped even seeming human to her. That smile on her face, though, was one of a loving mother. It was similar to the smiles she'd always given Rin. Rin froze, wondering if Gumi truly regretted it. Had it truly just been a simple mistake? Perhaps Rin had thought too much of it. Perhaps Gumi could be her friend, after all.

Ryuto seemed to notice something in the corner of his eye because he stopped in his trot toward the school and looked back. Rin glanced at Gumi to see that curious gaze, another expression that was so unbelievably human, then looked back to Ryuto. Her heart stuttered when she noticed that he was now facing she herself, giving a wave and a small smile. Of course. He recognized her, Yuki's mother, and was being polite. However, it had brought Rin to Gumi's attention, and Rin's heart hiccupped yet again as that humanity slithered from Gumi's vision and a darkness fell over the woman's eyes as she gazed toward the blonde. Rin smiled as best she could to Ryuto and gave him a small wave before gesturing for him to continue on his way. He did as ordered, leaving the two mothers alone to stop and stare at each other for what might have been eternity or what might have been a heartbeat.

Finally, Rin had to glance down. It was too painful to gaze as Gumi. It triggered memories, and those memories made her stop being human once again. Still, Rin had decided to do this. She'd decided to be strong, so she forced her gaze up once more and shortened the distance between she and Gumi.

"Tell me your story," Rin ordered.

Slowly, a smile crept onto Gumi's lips, and she replied, "Let's get out of the cold, shall we?"

. . .

"Is Yuki at school today?" Ring wondered cordially as she placed a green tea in front of Rin and a hot chocolate before Gumi. Rin had chosen to bring Gumi here for their discussion. This was someplace that reminded her of Yuki, after all, and she could help remind herself of why she was here in the first place.

"It's a weekday, Ring. Of course she is," Rin said with a smirk, narrowing her eyes playfully at the girl. She was trying to distract herself from Gumi's gaze on her. "The real question is: why aren't you in school? Aren't you a high-schooler?"

Ring laughed nervously with a playful grin at Rin and, with mischievous darkness, responded, "Whyever would you think that, dearest customer? Of course I wouldn't skip class in favour of picking up a shift and making some extra money."

Rin blew on the steaming tea to try to cool it down to a drinkable temperature and simply responded, "I won't tell if you don't."

"Thank you," Ring replied cutely before biding a momentary farewell and heading off to deliver the rest of her orders. Then, it was only Rin and Gumi.

Rin stared firmly at Gumi, awaiting the explanation she'd come for. Gumi simply grinned, obviously enjoying watching Rin's hesitant resolve, until Rin finally requested, "Will you please stop wasting my time and tell me?"

Gumi laughed at that and told the other girl, "Now now, Rin, that's the way you always talked to Len, not me."

Rin flinched at this comment. It was true, after all. Len had always been rather tiresome, but she'd loved him all the same. Gumi had never merited such exhausted responses from her before. To cover up her weakness, Rin said, "If you don't hurry up, I'm leaving."

Gumi leaned leisurely forward, propping her elbows on the table and lacing her fingers together to create a cradle for her chin. "I told you that this may break your heart, Rin. Are you sure you want to hear it?"

Rin hesitated for a moment. This story was about Len, wasn't it? What could Gumi have to say about Len that Rin didn't already know? There was nothing Rin didn't know about her fiancé. As such, she nodded her head, gazing steadily back at Gumi, who was evidently enjoying herself.

"If you insist," Gumi sighed with mock regret, playing as though Rin was forcing her to share with her. It was obvious that she was more than excited to tell her story, though, and Rin felt nervousness bubbling in the pit of her stomach.

"Do you remember that Christmas party our first year of university? The one you, Len, Iroha, and Aria went to?"

A shiver of unease rippled across Rin's skin. How could Gumi know anything about that party? That was after that night. It'd been over a year since they'd last spoken. Gumi hadn't been there, either; it was Leon's party, after all, and Leon knew that Aria and Gumi were no longer speaking.

"Do you remember what happened after that party, Rin?"

Of course she remembered, but how the hell could Gumi know about that? That had been in Rin and Aria's dorm room. Aria was staying with Leon for the night. Iroha was dating someone or other at that point and had remained at the party with him until it finished. Aside from that, it was only Rin and Len. No one could have known, and no one could have told her.

"Well, Len was a little fed up after he left, and quite reasonably so. I ran into him on the street and brought him home to calm him down. He was yelling at me a fair bit, after all, because he was still mad at me. As you probably remember, though, Rin, he was also fairly wasted, so he got sick of yelling after a while."

Rin closed her eyes, bracing herself. Was she paranoid? How she thought this story was going to end wasn't how it was, was it? If it was, of course Len wouldn't have told her. But that meant he'd lied to her. That meant . . .

Len was stumbling drunkenly next to Rin, and she giggled hysterically watching him. She wasn't as drunk as he was, after all, so it was hilarious to watch his continuous failures.

"Hey, Rin," he slurred as she pushed him off of her to open the door into her room. He wanted a kiss, it seemed, but she'd rather get inside first. "Y'know I love you, right?"

She giggled and responded, "Yes, Len, you say it about a billion times a day."

"And you love me, right?"

She rolled her eyes and reached up to place a kiss on his lips, murmuring, "Yes, Len, I love you." She took his hand gently and brought him into the room, turning on the lights and closing the door. Then, she kissed him again, only this time it was a stronger, less innocent kiss, and her hands didn't stayed where they should have.

When his hands tried to make their way to her chest, however, panic overwhelmed her and she pushed him away. She glared at him, not caring that she'd ruined the moment. She told him, "I already said no, Len."

In his drunken state, he got angry in a way he never had before, causing Rin to shrink back in shock. "C'mon, Rin, it's not like you haven't let me before!"

Rin's eyes flickered to the floor, anger and guilt simultaneously gnawing at her heart. "It's different now, Len. You know I can't handle that anymore. Please try to be a bit more considerate, 'cause you're kind of being an ass right now." She looked up at him with a small glare, hoping a bit of harshness would get him to back off. Unfortunately, however, it only had the opposite effect.

"It's been over a year, Rin!" snapped Len, glaring at her harder now. "I've been fucking considerate, haven't I? I've been fine only doing what you're okay with. I've stayed away from there. I haven't once asked you for anything more, have I?" He slammed a fist against the wall, causing Rin to leap away from him and stumble onto the floor. "I've been considerate the entire time, Rin, but you can't blame me for thinking it's a little unfair, can you? You can do whatever you want to me, but I'm not allowed anywhere near your chest since Gumi—"

"Shut the hell up, Len!" Rin shouted at him, unable to handle thoughts of Gumi. She didn't want to cry right now, especially because she knew that it would manipulate Len into calming down and that he'd only grow more resentful of her. "You have no idea what I went through!"

"You have no idea what I've been going through either, Rin!" Len snapped back. "Do you know how much I hate that I couldn't be there for you? You're not even letting me be there for you now! It's like you lost all faith in me when you lost it in Gumi, and I didn't even do anything to deserve it! I've done nothing but be considerate of it! We've been together for almost three years now, Rin, so forgive me for getting a little impatient when you won't let me touch your boobs, let alone sleep with you! Do you not trust me enough, Rin? Is that it? Because I don't think I've ever done anything worth losing your trust!"

"What, so you're trying to pressure me into sleeping with you now?" Rin growled, glaring at Len at she brought herself back up to her feet.

Len let out a growl of his own, flushing his frustration into the air, and snapped, "No, Rin, you're missing the point completely." Then, his anger simmering down, he sighed and turned the knob on the door. "You know what, never mind. You don't get it, and I don't feel like having this discussion."

She wasn't done fighting yet, though, so Rin shouted at him, "If you walk out that door, then we're done."

Len stopped for a moment and then looked back at Rin sadly and murmured, "I'm sorry, Rin. I tried my best."

"Well, Rin, I think you can figure out what happened next."