They'd been standing at the anomaly site for over an hour when the girls' tears finally ran out. Jess had been staring ahead wordlessly for nearly twenty minutes when Connor found his voice.
"We need to get back to the ARC."
It was the statement that no one wanted to hear. Leaving would mean accepting that it was over; that they weren't coming back. All Jess wanted to do was keep sitting there and praying for their safe return. But deep in her heart, she and the other girls knew that this was what needed to be done. They couldn't sit there forever. It wouldn't be fair to their lost loved ones if they just gave up. Becker wouldn't want her to give up, but she just couldn't bring herself to move.
Emily seemed to be having the same trouble. The girls had been sitting, hands clasped and heads together, for some time. But neither could find it in them to move. Even Abby was reluctant to leave the safety of Connor's arms. So she walked with him when he went over to the other girls.
He knew that he could reason with Emily, mainly because she'd had the chance to say goodbye in a way. He had a distinct feeling that Matt had told her his plan before putting it into action. Jess was going to be the hard sell. He left Abby's side and crouched down next to his friends.
When she felt a gentle hand settle on her shoulder, Emily looked into Connor's warm brown eyes. She saw the sadness there, and gave him a soft smile. They were all linked in their grief. He nodded slightly, and she nodded in return. Carefully extracting herself from Jess' grip, Emily rose and walked over to Abby. The two shared a brief hug, and then held hands as a show of solidarity. They would all get through this together, leaning on each other for support when needed.
'Now for the hard part,' Connor thought to himself as he inched closer to Jess. She looked a bit like a zombie: lifeless and defeated.
"Jess," he whispered, trying not to jolt her too much.
"I should have told him," she said, so quietly that he barely heard it. A lot of other people would have asked what she was talking about, but Connor just knew.
"He knew," Connor stated, not expecting any reaction. When that's exactly what he got, he elaborated. "He'd talked to me about it." Still no response from the girl next to him. "He'd known for a while, and was just trying to figure out how to tell you that he knew, and that…"
He had trailed off, not knowing how much he should be telling her. But considering the situation they were currently in, he figured that it couldn't hurt for her to know.
Jess turned to him, eyes red-rimmed. "That what?"
Connor sighed resignedly. "That it wasn't one-sided."
Jess let the words sink in, her eyes searching Connor's for any sign of falsehood. When she finally realized that he was being completely honest, her heart broke even more. Damn her fear! She turned forward again, letting her eyes close slowly as she drifted into memories.
"I knew," she told him.
He looked at her, puzzled. "You knew?"
"Not officially, but I had a feeling," she admitted.
"How?"
Jess sighed deeply, and reached for the chain around her neck. She pulled it up so that the tags on the end could be seen by the man next to her.
"Are those…?"
"He gave them to me just before you all left." She seemed to be in a trance as she told him, her mind recalling the brief conversation she'd had with Becker when they came back after the future predator incident. "While you and Matt were loading the man-made anomaly in the back of the truck, he pulled me aside in the hallway and put them on me. When I asked him why, he said 'because I'll be back for them.' The look in his eyes…" she closed her own eyes at the memory. "He was promising me that the world wouldn't end, at least not before he came back. Then he hugged me and was gone."
Connor hadn't thought it was possible to feel worse than he already did, but he was wrong. Jess' confession and Becker's surprising semi-admission sent shockwaves through him, and he was sad and angry all over again. Without a word, he wrapped his arms around Jess, trying to convey how sorry he was for everything.
"I know we have to go," she said from the warmth of his arms. He pulled back and looked at her. "I know that we have an ARC to fix, and Lester to check on, and everything else to deal with regarding Convergence…" She looked up at him, eyes pleading. "But can I just have a few more minutes?"
He nodded without hesitation, and squeezed her shoulder softly before rising up to his feet and walking over to Abby and Emily again. He managed to turn away from Jess completely before he allowed the tears to fall again.
Jess turned back to the anomaly site and let her mind wander. So much had happened in the span of a few hours that she couldn't quite get her head around it. And now, with him gone, she knew that things had changed permanently. Already, she wasn't the same person she'd been yesterday. But she knew that she would go back to her job, and continue to 'fight the good fight' as Lester had once said. She'd just fight it in a different way.
She breathed deeply and shut her eyes, reaching out with all of her senses once more. She knew that she had to leave, but just couldn't. She wanted so desperately to feel something from him, even though her true, analytical mind knew that it was impossible. The lovestruck girl inside of her just wanted one more chance to be wrapped in his strong arms. Continuing to breathe quietly as she stood up, she made a silent vow, both to him and to herself. She'd never forget him, and she'd let him be her inspiration. Those dogtags would never leave her person, and they'd serve as a reminder to keep fighting for what he – they – believed in.
Without warning, Jess felt a rush of warm air shoot past her, blowing her hair off her shoulders. She heard the others shouting to her, but didn't want to move from the calming wind. It wasn't until she felt a small, feminine hand (Emily?) grabbing her shoulder and trying to pull her back that she opened her eyes.
What she saw in front of her made her heart stop.
