CHAPTER 9

ROBIN'S JOURNAL

I've seen Bruce worried before, but never frantic. He's always been calm and logical. This time, he was logic on 'roids. When I admitted that I was blind, he had M'gann read my mind just to confirm that I hadn't gone nuts from the pain or something. I hurt plenty, but I can tell when the world is blacked out, thank you. M'gann was very patient about the whole thing and confirmed to Bruce that yeah, the lights had gone out for me. When she said that, the reality kicked in and I cried a bit. At that point I just didn't feel like being brave little Robin anymore; instead I was just Dick Grayson, orphan, who was looking at his world exploding again. Bruce sat down on the bed next to me and did something he hasn't done in years. He cuddled me. He grabbed me by the shoulder, gently after he saw me wince, and hugged me in close.

"We're going to solve this, Dick," he said in the voice he uses when he's really worried. "It's probably a short-term thing, related to your head injury. You've only just woken up, so it's too early to be frightened. We have a lot of technology at our disposal, both human and alien, so don't start worrying yet." He gave me a gentle squeeze and left to make phone calls.

When I heard his footsteps leaving the room, I knew that I was alone. I didn't have to be brave for him or anybody, so I just let it out. All the fear I'd had while Two-Face was beating me, the knowledge that Batman was going to die and it was all going to be my fault, all the hurt and guilt and the terror. And the knowledge, deep down where it hurts the most, that someone wanted to kill me, had enjoyed torturing me and had done it to hurt Bruce. Painfully, I hugged my bad arm to my aching chest and let the tears out. I sobbed until my ribs started aching and I had trouble drawing a breath, so I coughed instead. That made me choke and my whole body hurt.

It wasn't until I felt a hand gently running through my hair that I realized I wasn't alone.

"M'gann?" I forced out, trying frantically to swallow back all the feelings I'd just let out.

"It's me, Robin," Artemis said. "I'm here, with M'gann." I heard her hiss under her breath and wave an arm towards the foot of the bed, something like "Get out!"

I heard the sounds of multiple feet stumbling quickly past my bed, then the sound of furniture falling over. I heard a muttered, "Damn it!" in Wally's voice as a heavy body fell against the bed, jerking me to one side. Then came a muted "Careful!" from Kaldur. They were all here. They'd obviously come in when Bruce left. I'd just cried my guts out in front of the entire team.

I tried to wipe my eyes, but one arm was in a cast and the other one had half a dozen IV lines in it, so that didn't work too well. "Damn!" I muttered. "Sorry about that..."

"Sorry about what, Rob?" Wally's voice was uncharacteristically soft. "If I were in your shoes, they'd be peeling me off the walls." I heard a chorus of agreement from around the bed.

"I'm the one who's s'posed to be the seasoned and...and...experienced hero..." I started and felt myself cloud up again. "Sssorry..."

I got hugged from both directions. Oh yeah, I smelled Artemis' cologne on one side and the Martian herbs M'gann used on the other. A heavy body sat down on the bed...Conner? And I heard the sound of a light body perching on the footboard...Wally.

"Crying is not unmanly, Robin," Kaldur said solemnly from next to Artemis. "Sorrow is never unmanly, nor is it cowardice. You are the bravest person I know. We are here to help you and that is what we plan to do. We are simply grateful that you are awake now. It could have been much worse." Again, I heard the sounds of agreement.

I had to admit, Kaldur had a point. At least I was awake and away from those nightmares. I might have ended up a vegetable, stuck in a bed at the manor for the rest of my life. Time to stop feeling sorry for myself. And besides, I reminded myself, if I needed to cry there was always the middle of the night. I arranged my face into a brightly interested expression. "So, what happened at the warehouse after I passed out?"

"We whupped their butts for you," Artemis said proudly.

"Big time," Conner said. "I took out four of 'em and had 'em zip-tied in a minute flat."

"Knockout arrows," Artemis added. "I got three with a single arrow. Rocket and Zatanna got two of them while Kaldur wrestled another two down from the rafters.

"It was not difficult to subdue them," Kaldur said quietly. "They had never been hit by water bearers before. And, I am happy to say, they were much cleaner afterwards as well."

"What about M'gann and you, Wally?" I asked.

I heard Wally cough and shift position. "When we got there, Batman called for one of us to snag you and haul you off to the hospital. That was M'gann and me. She floated you out and I got you into the medbay on the bio-ship." His voice trailed off. "You were pretty out of it, Rob. Um...Supes stopped by and flew you the rest of the way to the Watchtower. Even though M'gann was gunning the bio-ship, it wasn't gonna get there fast enough..."

"Oh," I said, suddenly realizing just how close it had been. "Um...what about the Twins? And Harvey Dent? Who took them down?" A terrible thought occurred to me. "You...did get Two-Face, didn't you?" The idea that Harvey Dent was out there somewhere made me want to burrow under the covers again.

There was a long silence before Kaldur spoke up. "No, Robin, Dent was captured by Batman, as were the Twins."

I knew Kaldur and the others well enough to realize I wasn't getting the whole story. "There's something you're not telling. What is it?" I demanded, my voice rough with fear. "He didn't hurt Batman or one of you, did he?" If Dent had, nothing would stop me from taking it out of that twisted freak.

"No, nothing like that," Kaldur's voice was soothing.

"So what happened, Kaldur?" I demanded. Suddenly it was hard to catch a breath and I knew that I was breathing hard.

"We had to keep Batman from killing him," Artemis said, her voice sounding strained. A hand was slipped into mine and another was stroking my hair. "Look, we all knew you were dying and Batman was...was..."

"Convinced that you were dead already and he blamed himself for failing to rescue you in time," M'gann said sadly. "His thoughts were broadcasting so loudly, I couldn't shut them out. He saw Dent as your murderer and he was determined to wipe that man off the face of the earth. We were afraid to try to stop him. He felt out of control."

"Kaldur stopped him," Wally said in a small voice. "The rest of us didn't dare interrupt. Man! Batman wasn't holding anything back at all. I've seen powered heroes fight, but that..."

"Was understandable in the circumstance," Kaldur broke in smoothly. "I merely helped him to realize that you had not died, you were on your way to care and that hope existed for your recovery. When he saw that, he stopped and released Dent to us. With Gordon's authorization, we conveyed Dent to the jail and made sure that he was locked up. He is behind bars, I assure you."

"Oh...yeah...That's right, M'gann said something about that." My brain was moving slow as molasses and I was forgetting stuff. Must have been the head injury. I clutched the velvet comforter, feeling the softness and the love that had gone into its construction. Wait a minute. The comforter was in my room at "The manor!" I said. "I'm home. I don't smell hospital smells at all. Just the lavender sachet on the sheets."

I could almost see them exchanging glances. Artemis slid away and Wally took her place. "Well, Rob, y'know how we've been friends pretty much forever?"

"Yeah," I said, still gripping the comforter.

"And how Batman's let the League in on his real identity?"

"Yeah, but he wouldn't...After all these years, he wouldn't..." I couldn't believe what I was hearing and wondered briefly if I was hallucinating.

"Well, he did," Wally said. "Ladies and Gentlemen of Young Justice, may I introduce my friend Richard Grayson-Wayne, generally known as 'Dick Grayson'."

The team just chuckled. "I figured it out when your butler came to visit you at the Watchtower," Artemis said. "I remembered him coming to pick you up after school and did the math."

"Was it such a secret, after all?" Kaldur asked. "I had pretty much figured out who you and Batman must be, but had decided not to mention it if you wished to keep it private."

"Ha! And as for M'gann and Conner, they barely had any idea of just who Bruce Wayne is!" Artemis snorted with laughter. "Rocket was the only one who was impressed. And then he invited us all to the manor to keep you company and try to get you better."

I couldn't help laughing too. I mean, after all this work keeping my identity secret, the sunglasses worn even indoors, the security of the whole thing! And most of them had figured it out anyway. "Well, no more sunglasses for me..." Then I remembered and lowered my face, hoping that they couldn't see my expression. Fat chance with this group. The next thing I knew, I was being hugged by five people who kept telling me that I was gonna be just fine and my eyes would be perfect, just wait.

"I think I'd like to sleep for a while," I said. "Would you mind leaving for a while? I'm pretty tired."

I heard the sympathy in their voices. Pity. That's what it was: pity. Poor little Robin, Batman's side-kick who'd just been blinded. I know I'm the youngest of the group, but I've always tried to keep them from patronizing me because I'm the smallest. I was the first! I kept reminding myself, I was the first side-kick! Even if I am the smallest and the youngest, it doesn't mean I'm the least skilled. And it doesn't mean they should pity me just because I got injured.

I repeated that mantra to myself and settled back into the bed, pulling the comforter over my head. Now I could cry in peace if I wanted to.