Camping with the JLA
Chapter 2
"I cant believe you tricked me into going on this three week outdoor trip with you" Black Mask griped
"oh Roman, Roman, Roman; always the complainer aren't you? Well if the circumstances were different, you'd be in the mill, fending off tons of your revolting workers because of a certain paycheck decrease" Hippolyta reminded
"oh yeah… um, I'm sorry. That was… that was my bad" Black Mask apologized
"AAAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Robin shrieked, racing into the campsite with leeches on his chest
"For god's sake Tim, hold still" Two-Face grumbled, gently removing the leeches off of Robin
"there Timmy, all gone now" Zatanna crooned, using a spell to remove the leeches
"Ooohhh… I feel dizzy…" Robin said sluggishly
"here honey, drink this" Hippolyta said sweetly handing Robin a glass of water
"Mmmm… nice cool clear water" Robin sighed in ecstasy
"I'm bored" Supergirl pouted
"well why don't you and Alex go hiking?" Hippolyta offered
"but there's bees and all kinds of things out there. I'm scared" Supergirl whined
"don't worry baby sis, I'll keep you safe, ok?" Alex cooed, hugging Kara close as they walked off
"Roman, go with Kara and Alex and make sure Kara doesn't get hurt, will you, please?" Hippolyta asked
"sure thing. Hey wait up, you two, wait up for Uncle Roman" Black Mask hollered, rushing off after them
"Ahhhh… sure is nice to get away from it all ain't it Shayera?" Green Lantern asked
"you betcha it is John boy. By the way where's Kyle and Jade?" Hawkgirl asked
"we're here. Traffic was total f*cking hell" Kyle complained, he and Jade entering the campsite
"aww where's little Jaylee? I wanted to see my little granddaughter" Hippolyta whined
"Carol and the Star Sapphire Corps are babysitting her and the kids, Mom" Jade said
"oh good. By the way, did you make sure that Spoiler is contained in her cage?" Hippolyta asked
"yes we made sure. Plus Neron is here as well but the good news is Kate's got him on a leash" Jade added
"get this blasted collar off me at once, woman! Dost thou not know who I am?" Neron asked angrily
"you're gonna be roasted ectoplasmic marshmallows if you don't shut up and behave" Manhunter threatened
"Marshmallows?" Dinah asked, poking her head out of the tent
"no, not yet sweetie, figure of speech" Helena said, her and Dinah going back in the tent
"oh crap! I forgot to get the things for the s'mores" Hippolyta gasped
"oh great! NOW you tell us!" Two-Face bellowed
"um Hush, Zsasz, Jason, can you three do me a really big favor, run down to Safeway and get some groceries and some stuff for our s'mores?" Hippolyta asked
"it would be my pleasure, Your Majesty" Zsasz said eloquently
"Grrrr… crowbar…brain…crazy clown…" Red Hood gibbered, moving in his straitjacket
"come on Jason, let's see if there's a loony bin somewhere out here for you" Hush joked
"Tommy!" Sheila gasped
"I'm just kidding honey, jeez" Hush groaned, dragging a babbling Red Hood off
"we're back" Alex cheered, carrying a snoring Kara with Black Mask in tow
"aww… is my little Supergirl tired?" Hippolyta cooed, rubbing Kara's back
"yeah, she was getting pretty fussy during the hike. So I rocked her to sleep and… she passed right out" Alex said
"aww ok why don't you go put her down for the night?" Hippolyta asked softly
"ok, c'mon Kara, bedtime" Alex cooed, putting Supergirl in her sleeping bag for the night
"think she'll be up the whole night?" Linda asked Alex
"nah. Considering how she managed to stay up during monitor duty…" Alex said
"oh yeah, right" Linda said, taking a sip of her iced coffee
"Those lousy stinkin owls wouldn't stop peckin' on my suit" Black Mask griped
"oh no, you didn't shoot them, did you? Ohhh the poor things…" Hippolyta said
"you're damn right I shot 'em! There should be a law for huntin' and baggin' those things" Black Mask said
"well I'm hoping you didn't shoot the baby owls…" Diana said
"nah, they're ok. It's the mama and papa owls that concern me…" Black Mask said
"you remember that old saying; you be nice to them, they'll be nice to you" Robin said
"oh for God's sake Tim, we don't need your stupid hippie Boy Scouts crap" Black Mask griped
"ooh! Little owlet eggs, just for me" Firefly exclaimed gleefully
"Garfield Prince, you put those owl eggs back right now or you're grounded until summer starts" Hippolyta ordered
"y-yes Mother" Firefly gulped, flying off
"that was a good call, Mom" Diana said
"thank you honey. We should all love and respect Mother Earth's creatures" Hippolyta said
"except the leeches" Robin whimpered in pain
"aww when we get home Timmy, I'll give you a bath and clean up all your wounds" Hippolyta cooed, rubbing Robin's back
"oh by the way Tim, I got you these sex ed books for school. Ms. Nesbitt wants you to memorize all of them" Black Mask said
"DAD! What are you doing?" Robin asked, horrified
"well Tim, you're a big boy now and your father and I have been talking and we think it's time we had the talk" Hippolyta said
"….what?" Robin asked in a frightened high-pitched voice
"ok we're back and we got all the grub" Hush announced, he, Zsasz and Red Hood walking back into the campsite
"good job, boys! Did Jason behave himself?" Hippolyta asked
"if by behaving himself, you mean chewing his way through nine sets of restraints, foaming at the mouth and babbling incoherent nonsense, then yes, he behaved himself" Hush said
"good! Here, Jason, here's a Snickers bar" Hippolyta said, Red Hood devouring the whole thing in one bite
"uh… there's something wrong with him. I think he may not be human" Two-Face said to Hippolyta
"Harvey, we've been through this before; he's just… well, he's… he's just mentally ill" Hippolyta said
"and considering how many psychiatrists, psychologists, therapists and the numerous doctors we had to bring into the house, you still wont accept the fact that he needs to be committed?" Black Mask asked
"uh, guys, it's getting kinda late. Is it dinnertime yet?" Alex asked
"oh my goodness, yes it is!" Hippolyta gasped in realization
One campfire dinner later…
"wow, isn't it lovely out?" Alex asked as Kara snored softly on her lap
"yup, it sure is. And not a single firefly in the sky…" Jade said before gasping at what she just said
"YEEE-HAAAAAAWWWW" Firefly hollered, cruising through the night sky, dragging Booster Gold with him
"Fireflyyyyyy! Please slow dowwwnnnn!" Booster whined, trying to hold in the bile overflowing
"some things never change, do they?" Hippolyta said in amusement
"yup" Black Mask said, taking a swig of his beer