Mockingjay: Broken Wings

by Jamie Sommers

A/U Katniss and Peeta are married, expecting a baby. Peeta's unsure of Katniss after the things he's seen while being held prisoner. Is she still trustworthy? With a traitor in the rebellion who can Katniss turn to? Haymitch, after all the secrets he's kept? Gale, who's loyalty lies with President Coin? Or will Peeta open up his heart to her again? Sequel to CF: Rekindling

11. Realor Not Real?

Mockingjay: Broken Wings

By: Jamie Sommers

Chapter Ten: Real...or Not Real?

Peeta was found in the tunnel of Twelve by Katniss. Effie was captured by the Capitol and her time as a rebel spy is over.

Sorry for the delay, but I dislocated my shoulder a while ago and have been having problems with it which means massive physical therapy and no sitting at the computer for extended periods of time without suffering through a great deal of pain.

While writing this chapter it dawned on me that I had too many questions regarding the K/P reunion and they must be addressed, so this chapter is a K/P POV of Peeta's arrival in Thirteen. I know I tend to follow the book chapter by chapter, but I had to make an exception in this case. The next chapter, which is almost done, will be a combination of chapters ten and eleven in the book. If you'd like to find out when I'm posting or the status of this story feel free to follow me on tumblr at jamiesommers23 dot tumblr dot com. I have finally created pages for the 74th Hunger Games Challenge: We Always Were and will be working on the Catching Fire series in the near future.

Thank you to all of you who have been patiently awaiting this next chapter, for reading and reviewing. Thank you to Everlarkrecs for adding my stories to her page, and thank you to S and A for giving so much of their time.

Anyone want to see how things are going in the world of...

Mockingjay: Broken Wings

The hospital room was silent with the exception of the shuffling of the guard's feet against the floor. Peeta sat on the edge of the hospital bed, one hand cuffed to the railing the other reaching for the lump on the back of his head where he had been struck. He was no longer filled with the rage that had been coursing through him earlier, instead he was consumed with guilt. Guilt for the way he had treated Katniss...for the things he had done. Peeta closed his eyes in regret, wondering if she'd ever want to speak to him again. Things had gotten out of hand due to the drugs that were flowing through his bloodstream, 'and your jealousy,' he silently said to himself. "Christ," he mumbled when he remembered how violent he had been earlier. His hand ached a bit from the punches he had thrown, landing across a jaw...in the gut... He groaned as he recalled what had happened. His stomach churned as a feeling of nausea swept through him. The sound of the hospital room door opening had him turning to see who had entered. To his surprise Katniss stood in the doorway.

"Hey," she said nervously. "Can I come in?"

Why she'd want to, Peeta had no clue, but he was grateful she was there. "Yeah," he answered. "You may want to keep your distance though," he gave her a warning, not knowing how he'd react.

"Do you think you're going to hurt me?" She walked up to him, and took the spot next to him on the hospital bed. "Because I don't. I'm not afraid of you, Peeta."

Her hand reached for his but he snatched it away. "You should be." His eyes focused on a spot between his dangling feet. "I...I could have killed you."

"But you didn't," Katniss reached for his hand again. "Stop pulling away from me," she said roughly. She needed to touch him, to draw strength from him or she didn't know if she'd make it through this. "Please," she gently begged changing her tone.

Peeta turned his palm upward and allowed her to hold his limp hand. "I'm sorry," he said gruffly. "I don't know what came over me."

Katniss squeezed his hand in hers, "It's poison, Peeta. Those drugs are causing you to get violent...to..." she hated saying it out loud. It only confirmed what the doctors had told her after listening to the recording Effie had sent to them, "...to forget me...what we had."

"No," he turned sharply towards her. "I've already forgotten that."

"Not all of it, Peeta," Katniss turned her whole body to face him. "You didn't forget everything or you wouldn't have held me so tightly." The fingers of her free hand traveled to her lips of their own accord, drawing the feel of his lips pressing against hers back. "You wouldn't have kissed me that way."

He was in her arms and suddenly life was good again. It didn't matter what Peeta said about not remembering his love for her, she knew...just knew in the deepest recesses of her heart, their love could withstand anything. It had to. Katniss felt her throat closing up, and her eyes burning as she placed her feet down on the ground. "I love you," she whispered hoarsely in hopes that he would repeat the sentiment back to her, instead she heard him gulp, and felt his hands slowly drop to his sides. She could feel the trembling in the pit of her stomach, the grip of uncertainty squeezing the blood out of her heart, and the world closing in around her as reality finally set in.

Peeta could sense the pain he was causing her and hated himself for it. He opened his mouth and closed it over and over again telling himself to say the words back to her, but how could he? "Katniss," he spoke softly as he forced his hands to his sides. "I...I'm...sorry. I shouldn't have kissed you," he reluctantly pushed her away by the shoulders. "You think I'm something...someone I'm not."

"Don't," she tried to hold him again, but his hand went up, preventing her from closing the gap between them. "Peeta, you're just tired. You've been through hell...that's all," she fretted.

He shook his head from side to side. "No, I'm..." he closed his eyes and tried to figure out what to say, "I don't know what I am anymore." He lifted his trembling hand out to her. "This...this is what I am. Hooked on some drug that takes every good memory of my life and turns it against me." He shoved his hand into his pocket. "The sickest part is how much my body is craving that crap right now...and I don't want it. I don't," he said to convince himself, "but eventually I'm going to need it." He took his hand out of his pocket and revealed the source of his misery to her. The syringe Effie had stuck inside of his pocket while they were riding in the elevator at the Capitol prior to his escape.

"What is that?" She stared at the needle he held out to her.

"This is most likely going to be the death of me." He swallowed the huge lump he had in his throat before explaining what had been going on in the Capitol while he was taken captive. The drugs. The recordings of her and Gale, and everything else Effie had told him about. "Snow...he tried to turn me against the rebels...against you, but Effie got me out there in the nick of time. He would've completely wiped my memory of everything if she hadn't helped me escape this morning."

Katniss sat on the dirt floor of the tunnel staring at him in disbelief. "So..." she cleared her throat, "...so you really don't remember me?" It was too difficult to believe.

"No, I have some memories of you. I know who you are...I remember we went to school together...we're from the same district...fighting alongside of you in the Games, but honestly...most of that is a blur."

"Then why did you kiss me when you saw me?" She needed to know.

Did he tell her he had been wishing she were with him when he watched her sing? That the sound of her voice caused his heart to swell, and left him breathless? Heat radiated through his cheeks as he answered, "It felt..." he searched for the appropriate word without giving too much away, "...right."

"Oh." It wasn't the exact answer she was hoping for.

Peeta was sitting on the floor opposite her, his legs sticking out in front of him, his hands tucked under his thighs in order to keep them still. "Everyone tried to help me. Johanna, Portia, Effie...Annie...they all tried to tell me about you...remind me about the life we had together, but..." he lifted his eyes to her tear streaked face, "...most of it's gone."

Katniss wiped her hand under her nose and sniffed. "So where does that leave us?"

Peeta looked down at his lap with sorrow in his voice and said, "I don't know."

She tried to take it in, all the things he said about seeing her with Gale in the woods, glimpses of their life together invading his mind, but stirring up no feelings other than regret, and chose to address the Gale situation. "Those recordings were a fake, Peeta," she said carefully. "Gale and I...those things never happened."

"Effie said the same thing. She said she was there when they altered the recordings of us, but..." He ran his hand through his hair, heartache filled his voice, "God, Katniss, it was so damn real. I've tried to tell myself that they lied to me...that everything they did was to hurt me...to hurt the rebellion, but then I remember those images of you and him...hearing you telling him that I meant nothing to you, and it's more than I can handle."

Katniss was on her knees in front of him, holding him by the upper arms, "You...you mean everything to me, Peeta. Everything," desperation dripped from her voice. "You have to believe me."

Her face was inches from his as he looked into her eyes, "I want to." Touching her was too tempting. He reached out a tentative hand and caressed her cheek speaking tenderly to her, "I want to put it all behind me and tell myself that I can just forget the things I've seen...remember the things they've taken from me..."

"Then do it," she rested her forehead against his. "Just forget it all...forget what they did to you, and...and screw remembering me," she said forcefully. "If you can't then we'll just start over," she was almost frantic. "From right now...from this moment." She took his hand between the palms of hers and squeezed. "We can get to know each other again...you can learn things about me, and..." her voice began trembling, "...and maybe you'll fall in love with me again." Considering she thought herself to be unlovable, this was a tall order.

He was so tempted to tell her he was pretty sure she had already captured his heart when he heard her singing in the woods, but he still thought it was an insane notion, and no one could ever fall in love at first sight. 'But it wasn't first sight,' he silently said to himself. 'You've seen her before.' "It was love at first song," he spoke without realizing it.

Katniss' face perked up, "Yes," she stroked his cheek. "You heard me singing when I was five," she sniffed through a soft smile. "You fell in love with me after I sang the Valley Song on our very first day of school."

Peeta remembered the image that had flashed through his mind earlier. "Your hair," he studied her brown tresses, "They were in two braids instead of one."

She nodded, "Ye...yes."

He stared at her for a minute trying to decide what to do, and thought it best to put this all aside. Facing it hurt too much. "My head is a bit messed up right now, Katniss. Can we...can we stop talking about this for a little while?"

She sat back on her haunches. "Yeah...sure." She felt a chill shoot through her and wrapped her hands around her waist. "I should probably get dressed."

"Don't rush on my account," he said in an attempt to lighten the morose mood he had brought upon them.

She looked at his bruised torso and reached out a tentative hand, never quite touching him. "You're hurt."

Peeta pulled his shirt down. "It's fine. I can barely feel these anymore," he lied about the marks on his body that ached beyond belief.

"Guess we should get going, huh?" Katniss suggested. The need to get him medical treatment became urgent. "You..." she took a deep breath and blew it out in an attempt to regain her strength. "You need a doctor," she said with a stiff lip. "Let's go." She stood up and pulled the top of her uniform back on, yanked on the vest and plugged the earpiece back into her ear. "Plutarch?"

"Katniss! Thank heaven!"

"Sorry about loosing communication with you, but..." she turned to look at Peeta who was visibly shaking, "...Plutarch, Peeta's here. Effie helped him escape, but he's in need of medical attention."

"Yes, we overheard you greeting him," Plutarch told her and she wondered exactly how much they had heard.

"Katniss how bad is he?" Gale joined in.

"Bad," she said with concern in her voice. "I'm not sure if he's strong enough to make it through the tunnel to the village. We're closer to the woods, can the craft pick us up there?"

"You'll have to make it to that clearing," Gale said to her. "Can you do that?"

"We really have no choice," she studied Peeta who was trying to get a hold of himself. "I'll contact you when we get close."

"See you soon, Catnip."

She faced the dirt wall, inhaled through her nose, and blew out slowly from her mouth. "Okay," she was in control, or as in control as she could be. "Time to go." She turned and saw him attempting to pick up some items from the ground. "What's in the boxes?" Katniss asked as she looked around the tunnel for an extra torch.

"Effie said I have to give them to a Dr. Valero. That she'd know what to do with the stuff inside," there was an unmistakable tremor in his voice. "Katniss," he held his hand out to show her how much he was shaking, and sat back down. The boxes he had been carrying earlier now felt like they weighed a ton. His legs were weak, and the trembling was causing a stabbing pain to shoot through his entire body. Like he was being shredded apart from the inside out. "I'm not going to make it."

"You will," she knelt in front of his sitting position. "You have to. I...I can't lose you again."

He didn't know what to believe anymore. It sounded like she meant everything she said to him, and it felt like she loved him when she kissed him, but there was still so many doubts running through his mind. His skin was crawling, the chills were starting at the base of his neck and radiating downward...the same things that occurred while he was in the elevator before he started to convulse. "Katniss, you need to give me this," he held out the needle full of jacker juice with a quivering hand. "I don't think I can get it in my vein on my own."

"No," she could see the sweat forming on his brow, reached out a hand to his forehead, sure she would find him feverish, and was surprised at his icy temperature. "Peeta, you're going to be fine." She gripped his hands in hers and squeezed. Hatred towards President Snow filled her for what he did to Peeta. "They've got you hooked on that stuff, and the only way to get better is if it works itself out of your system."

"Then...it better..." he began to pant, "...work itself out fast." Things started to close in on him, his head was thumping...screaming...spinning.

"Peeta!" Katniss yelled when his whole body started writhing across the dirt floor. "NO! PLUTARCH!" She screamed into her communication device, but there was no answer. "Peeta please," she knelt over his body, softly smacking at his cheeks, trying to get him to come back to her. Her hand reached for the syringe. "I don't want to do this," she cried out in frustration. "I don't want to poison you!" Tears were streaming down her face as she ripped a piece of his shirt off at the hem and tied it around his arm, remembering the things she had been taught by her mother over the years. She had to press her knee against his hand to keep his arm still, smacked at a vein in order for it to bulge out, and pulled the protective cover off of the needle's point with her teeth, spitting it far away. She felt damned. Again she was at the mercy of the Capitol and its powerful medicine, only this time when she gave Peeta a shot, she was performing the same action that Snow had while Peeta was imprisoned. She could feel the needle slipping into his skin and watched for the sign of blood to flow back into the syringe signaling that she had it in the right place, then pressed the plunger slowly down, forcing the green gunk into his arm until his body stopped its vicious quaking. "Please don't die," she leaned her head on his chest and listened to his heart after pulling the needle from his arm and dropping it to the side. "Don't leave me. Stay with me Peeta. Stay with me," she turned her face into his shirt, gripping it in her clutches and let out a soft sob when she heard his response.

"Always," his hand felt light as a feather when he lifted it to her head and rested it against her hair. The initial rush of the drug shot through him as his body went from ice cold to burning hot. "It's warm in here."

The sickeningly sweet stench of honey accosted her nostrils as Peeta's body flamed beneath her. "What was that?" She lifted herself up and looked down into his eyes which were almost black.

"The same thing that's in those boxes," he breathed out a sigh of contentment much like Haymitch after he got his first taste of alcohol after being without it for too long.

Katniss dug through the boxes Peeta brought with him, read the labels on the small containers and sucked in a breath. "No more," she slapped her hand against the cardboard. "You are not getting anymore of this shit!"

Feeling like he had some control of his faculties, Peeta sat upright and took in his surroundings. The dirt walls, the boxes, the empty syringe, then his eyes landed on Katniss. He couldn't explain to himself why he needed to touch her so badly, or why he was so angry with her. "Come here," the hand that reached for her was no longer trembling. "Katniss, come here," he spoke again, his voice more demanding.

"You look better," she hated the reason why. Her eyes scanned his as he pushed his hand closer to her.

She wrapped her arms around his neck and let him hold her. "Peeta you can't have anymore of that stuff. It will kill you."

"It'll kill me if I don't have it," with the exception of the anger he could feel simmering within, he really enjoyed the way he was feeling at that moment. A renewed sense of strength flowed through him like the day he had killed the Peacekeepers. His limbs which were just twitching, and felt like wet noodles were now itching to move. A muscle in his jaw twitched as he tried to focus on what was happening.

"Peeta, we have to go," she pulled away from him. "Are you able to walk?" After seeing what she had shot into him, she had to get him back to Thirteen as soon as humanly possible.

"Yeah," his voice slurred slightly as he stood up. "I'll be fine now." He was more than fine, he was invincible, or so he thought. Though his mind was telling him he could accomplish anything, his body was going through hell from the chemicals swimming through his bloodstream.

They walked through the majority of the tunnel in silence, Katniss carried her bow and the smaller of the two boxes. Peeta the large one, and huffing with each step without knowing it. "Plutarch?" Katniss spoke as they neared the end of the tunnel, but there was no sound coming from the earpiece.

"Where are they?" Peeta asked of their escape party.

"I don't know." She wondered briefly if this is what Haymitch felt like when she ignored his calls while in she was fighting in District Eight. "Come on. We better hurry if we're going to make it to that rendezvous spot on time."

"Think they'll still be there if the Capitol's crafts are out there looking for me?" Peeta didn't.

The thought of Snow's men searching for them hadn't even entered her mind. She did her best to hide her concern for Peeta's sake."There's no way they'd leave us out here to fend for ourselves."

Peeta didn't believe it for one minute. He had been in the arena, and the one thing he knew was that everybody fought to the death for their own self-preservation, not remembering that he and Katniss were the exceptions to that rule. "Why not?"

"Peeta, we're too important to the rebellion, and now that you're back...trust me...Coin's probably chomping at the bit to get us out of here."

"Who's Coin?"

Katniss didn't know how to explain the woman and all that she had done so she did what she was good at, avoided the details and gave him the short answer, "President of Thirteen."

"Did I know that?" He thought the name sounded vaguely familiar.

"I'm not sure. I met her when I was coming out of a hellish nightmare and then submerged into a real life one when I heard the sound of her voice telling my doctor to kill our baby." 'So much for avoiding the topic,' she thought to herself, regretting what she had said immediately.

Peeta stuck a hand out to Katniss' shoulder, stopping her in her tracks. "She did what?"

Katniss blew out a breath and said, "Guess you could say I've been going through my own personal torture while you were gone." She noticed the way Peeta's eyes kept flashing towards her stomach then back up again. "I've got a lot to fill you in on, but we don't have time now, plus..." she pointed to her earpiece, sending Peeta an unspoken message.

He nodded at her, and mouthed, "They're listening to us, aren't they?"

Katniss' eyes flew opened when she saw him use their familiar language. "Don't know," she shrugged. Unsure if she should mention what he had done, she tested his memory and mouthed, "How are you feeling now?"

"Okay," he mouthed back. "A little...I don't know how to explain it. I almost feel like a volcano ready to erupt."

"From those drugs?"

He nodded.

A burst of static shot through her earpiece. "Plutarch?" She waited. "Plutarch?"

"Nothing?" Peeta asked suddenly worried that they were going to be left on their own regardless of what Katniss said.

"Maybe they're out of range or something." She reached for the controls that would open the exit of the tunnel.

"Wait," Peeta stopped her. "Katniss, what if the Capitol's crafts did come back to search for me?"

'Could that be why they weren't answering,' she wondered. "Maybe we should wait here until we hear from them?" She sat on a dirt step.

"Good idea," Peeta set his cargo down and took a seat at Katniss' feet. "So..." he turned an inquisitive glance her way, "What's new?"

Katniss had to laugh at the absurdity of their situation.

The sound of her light laughter caused a rush of emotions to flow through him he found hard to explain. The lava that threatened to spew from deep within him was instantly replaced with curiosity. "What's so funny?"

"I was just thinking, this morning I went hunting with Finnick, and..." she let her eyes rest on his features. It didn't matter that he looked worn...thin...exhausted. He was breathtakingly beautiful. "You were on my mind all day. It was like something inside of me could feel you near. I thought maybe," the laughter was gone, "maybe they had killed you." She looked into the darkness of the tunnel. "I kept rubbing my pearl," she reached into her pocket for it, but it was gone. "Oh no," she stood up. "I left it."

Peeta pulled it out of his pocket and held it out to her. "It was lying next to the boxes."

She stared at the sight of the pearl glaring up at her from his open palm, and reached for it, taking up her spot on the step again.

"I remember giving that to you," Peeta said as she took it. When her hopeful eyes met his he clarified, "Just what I said, not the circumstances surrounding it."

"Oh," she said dejectedly.

Unsure of what to say to her he said, "Finish your story."

Katniss closed her fingers over the pearl, then shoved it in her pocket for safe keeping. "I kept rubbing it thinking somehow maybe you'd be able to feel me...know how much I missed you. Then we came back to Twelve and memories of you were everywhere. The fish swimming in the lake...the mockingjay's song...the cluster of willow trees..." Her face turned soft, as did her voice. "I remembered that morning so vividly. The way you described the sunrise..." she smiled tenderly at him, "...Peeta's Sunset, to me...I kept wishing I could go back in time and run away with you. That we had never entered the Quell."

Peeta nodded. "Can't tell you how many times I wished I could have avoided that myself."

Her gaze met his. "When I saw you in the tunnel, I honestly thought I was imagining it."

"Me too," he nervously scratched behind his ear. "I didn't know if you were real...or..." He let out a huff of air, "...or not real."

"I'm real," she trailed her finger down the side of his face. "So are you."

They sat staring at one another for a few moments before Peeta asked, "Katniss...the baby...is that real?"

"Yes," she said gently. "Very real." There was so much to explain to him. The listening device in her ear forgotten she reached out and took his hand, placed it on her lower abdomen and said, "Banana nut is in there, and it's healthy...beautiful. Oh, Peeta, I can't wait to show you...for you to hear its heartbeat."

"You've seen it?" He asked with a hint of uncontrollable excitement in his voice.

"Mmm hmm," she nodded. "It's kind of like a lima bean with arms and a head. All curled up into a ball..." she sighed. "You won't believe it when you see it."

"And is it..." he stopped himself before he asked her if it was his asking instead, "...is it a boy or a girl."

"I don't know yet. It's still too early, but Dr. Valero says any day now we should be able to find out."

Peeta trailed his fingers across the hard surface of her black uniform where the baby grew. "I'm glad everything's okay with it." He really was. Whether it was his or not, he'd never wish ill on a child.

Katniss' face morphed into one of concern. "Peeta there are some things I need to tell you...about the baby." she held her head down, and Peeta was sure this was when she'd tell him that it was Gale's not his. "President Coin...she doesn't know about the baby." Katniss lifted her eyes to his. "Practically no one does." She went on to explain what had been happening since she was in Thirteen, about her role as the Mockingjay, visiting District Eight, and said, "Haymitch thinks we should keep the baby a secret until he figures out what to tell Coin."

It was a lot to take in, everything she had said. "What do you think we should do?"

Katniss thought for a moment then said, "The Games are still on, Peeta, and the one thing Haymitch knew about...was good at, was how to play the Games."

"So you want to follow his advice?"

"Yeah. I think we should, but if you don't want to, then we'll go straight to Coin and tell her about it." Katniss felt an enormous weight lifted off of her shoulders now that she didn't have to face this alone. "This is our baby, and we should make these choices together."

"Our baby," Peeta said quietly. He needed to know. "Katniss, is it...mine?"

Hearing his question shot a dagger straight through her heart. "Yes," she knelt in front of him and gripped his hands in hers. "Of course it is. Why would you think for one minute that it's not?"

He lifted his eyes to hers. "Gale." Saying the name out loud suddenly brought feelings of aggression back to the surface.

She was taken completely by surprise when he said that. "Gale?"

"Those things Snow showed me...some of those things..." He narrowed his eyes at her, "...they were a little too real, about you."

"Like what?" She was terrified of the answer.

"Like you and Gale in the woods...kissing each other behind my back," his voice was hard. "How long was that going on?" His eyes pierced hers.

Katniss had no clue what he was talking about. She had never... "Oh," it suddenly struck her that she did kiss Gale in the woods and attempted to explain. "That was one time Peeta, and we weren't even together then. Plus you knew about it. I told you all about it, and you said you expected Gale would do something like that, so don't get mad at me now, when you didn't get mad at me back then." She turned and said harshly. "Got to hand it to Snow...he really knew what buttons to push on you."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" He barked at her.

"You've been jealous of Gale since we were kids. I'm sure Snow knew, and once he had you in his custody, he preyed on your weakness," she hadn't meant to be so cruel, and quickly tried to remedy her tone. "Look, I'm not saying you had nothing to be jealous of. Gale had feelings for me, but we worked through them, you and I. We made it past that part of our lives, and now you and Gale are friends." At least she hoped they would still be. "We all are."

"He's no friend of mine," Peeta couldn't imagine forging a relationship with the guy now that he'd found out the recordings of him and Katniss weren't fakes. "You two want to live happily ever after with your kid then go ahead. Leave me the hell out of it."

"Our kid!?" That was the second time he suggested he wasn't the father, and she didn't like it one bit. She narrowed in on him, holding him in place with her stare. "What the hell are you accusing me of?"

"Oh, I think you know, Katniss." He brushed her hand off of him. "Call them again. I want to get the hell out of here." Something inside of him said, he had to get out of the tunnel before he lost control of his emotions.

"No," she stood her ground. "You're going to answer me. Tell me right now, what you think I did."

'Fine,' he thought to himself as the anger bubbled within him. 'You asked for it.' "You didn't deny it. You just admitted that those recordings were real," he stabbed her with his words.

"I did no such thing," she said in utter horror.

"So now you're saying you didn't kiss him?" Peeta waited and saw the blush creep up on her face. "Yeah, that's what I thought. You kissed him...just like you kissed me a little while ago." Anguish met anger when he said, "God knows what else the two of you have done behind my back." It was tearing him up inside remembering these things...saying them out loud.

"No, Peeta," Katniss' voice was frantic, "that wasn't me and Gale in the woods. That was me and you. You were the one that asked me what kind of kiss it was...that held my face in your hands," she gripped his hands and pressed them against her cheeks trying to relive the moment. "That was you and me."

"It was Gale!" Peeta screamed at her and yanked his hands away. The image of the two of them was so vivid. The glow around Gale's features not once hinting to Peeta that Effie was right and the recordings could have been a fake. "I know what I saw, Katniss!"

"No," she shook her head, her insides trembling. "Peeta," she said much softer now, "they replaced your image with his...but what they showed you...that wasn't what happened. Gale doesn't even know about the baby. He thinks it's dead. If he were the father, don't you think I'd have told him about it?" Katniss could see Peeta's body tense up. "I'm going to say this once, and that's it. You are the only...only man I have ever been with. The only man I've ever wanted to be with." She reached out and cupped his cheek. This time he let her caress his skin, thinking about how badly he had wanted her to do this to him only moments ago."You and I...we were made for each other, Peeta. I never wanted...never loved Gale. Ever." Peeta lifted his eyes to hers. "I love you," she said softly then mouthed, "I love you, Peeta."

As quickly as the anger had entered his system it was gone, and in its place was need. A suffering he couldn't explain. "I want to tell you that, but if I do...you'll think I remember what we had, and I don't."

"Then why would you say it?" She could no longer expect the words from him. "When you feel it...if you feel it, you'll say it. Until then...you could just let me love you." She gingerly made her way to him and brushed her lips against his, let her fingers travel through his hair and fell into the arms he finally opened up to her.

A brutal argument, then making up was nothing new to Katniss, but to Peeta, it was confusing. He couldn't explain why he suddenly believed everything she said, but the second he felt her kiss, he found, not only did he believe her, but forgave her as well. When they pulled apart from each other Peeta ran his hand down her braid mouthing,"Read my lips."

Katniss gasped. Whether or not he knew what he was saying, she didn't care. Her arms encircled his neck, her face buried in his shoulder, as she clung for dear life.

"Catnip?" Gale's voice came through the earpiece.

"Gale?" She pulled away from Peeta and pointed at the device in her ear when she saw the rage quickly flash in Peeta's eyes. "Where are you guys?"

"There were some Capitol hovercrafts in the vicinity. We had to pull out and cut radio contact in case they picked up our transmissions," Gale explained. "Are you two still in...hiding?"

"Yeah," Katniss answered. "Peeta was afraid of that so we stayed put."

"Plutarch said you two would know something was up when we didn't respond to you." Gale paused for a second. "Coin sent in reinforcements, so we won't be picking you up. There's a heavily armed craft, with a medical team on it, about five minutes away from you. They'll be able to drop a claw and pick you both up."

"Okay," she held onto Peeta's hand, worry filling her voice. "Are the Capitol hovercrafts still searching for Peeta?"

"We haven't detected them for the past thirty minutes, but we're still expecting the worst," Plutarch answered instead of Gale. "Be careful, Katniss, and take care of our Jabberjay."

"Don't worry about us," she gave Peeta a fiery stare that stated it was time to put their game faces on, stood to her feet, and said, "Peeta and I are a team...victors. We always take care of each other."

Peeta took this as a sign to get to his feet too. He easily picked up the boxes, stacking one on top of the other, and looked towards the hidden buttons that would enable them to enter the woods. A glimpse of he and Katniss in the arena flashed through his mind as he said the words, "Let's do this." The sounds of the woods...the scent of it, stirred Peeta's senses. He had been here before. "I was a hunter," he said to himself.

"What?" Katniss lifted the top of the flat rock and quickly disguised the tunnel.

Peeta honestly didn't know if he was or not. "Katniss? I was a hunter. Is that real, or..."

"Not real, Peeta," she led the way with her bow loaded. "You scare away game with your heavy footsteps." She looked down at his prosthetic, and used the words he used to, "Lead foot, remember?"

"No," he walked heavily behind her, the crunching of breaking branches, rustling of dried leaves were so loud it sounded like a herd of elephants were making their way through the woods. "Okay. Now I remember," he said as his prosthetic got caught under a fallen branch.

The leaves began to blow, the branches of the trees bent in the gusts of wind the hovercraft caused as the claw was slowly dropped towards them. "Go ahead," Katniss stepped back so Peeta could be picked up.

"No, you go," he stood to the side.

"Peeta, I went first last time and look where that got us," the claw was halfway down. "Just go."

He stepped close to a willow tree. "Get banana nut out of here, Katniss."

How could she argue? "Come with me," she held his hand out to him. "We can sit in it, like Finnick and I did."

The metal claw dangled, waiting for a passenger. "Together?" He asked as he took a tentative step towards her.

"Together," she threw her bow over her shoulder.

He sat the large box on his lap, an arm draped over it, holding it in place, a hand clinging to the metal contraption carrying them upwards into the waiting craft when his eyes drifted downwards towards the cluster of willow trees. An image of Katniss standing in the midst of the weeping branches, white blooms in blossom surrounding her, the sunrise behind her, and a slight blush on her cheeks. He could see her as clear as day looking beautiful in a garment that he considered quite odd for the woods, but the colors of it were spectacular. A contradiction to the rising sun. For a moment he wondered if he actually remembered that, or if it was one of the recordings Snow had shown him. The hovercraft pulled them into safety and swiftly headed towards District Thirteen.

Katniss sat to the side as the medical team that had been sent in to care for Peeta went to work; providing hydrating fluids to him, treating and bandaging wounds she hadn't noticed, looking over the canisters inside of the boxes Peeta brought with him, determining that antibiotics wouldn't cause any harm. Before she knew it Peeta was sitting in a wheelchair being taken to the medical bay where their family, Haymitch and Dr. Valero waited for them. Katniss scanned the area for Gale, hoping with all her heart he wasn't part of the welcome back party waiting for Peeta in medical. She wasn't sure if Peeta would be able to face Gale after the things Snow had subjected him to. "Plutarch," she whispered to him as they walked down the hall. "Gale's not in medical, is he?"

"No." Plutarch slowed his pace down and spoke quietly to her. "He's updating President Coin on the transmissions we picked up from the Capitol hovercrafts. Why?"

"No reason," Katniss gnawed at her bottom lip.

Peeta was overwhelmed with the amount of people awaiting his return, and began to question reality again when he found out his father was alive, and in Thirteen. He gripped the handles on the wheelchair, looked over his shoulder to make sure Katniss was still close by, saw her talking to Plutarch Heavensbee... 'He's a rebel,' Peeta reminded himself at first glance of the man, then held his breath when they rounded the corner where his dad stood with tears in his eyes. "Stop!" he called out before they reached his father. "Katniss! Katniss!"

"I'm here," she ran to his side. "What is it?"

"Is this real?" Peeta's hands frantically reached for hers. "Is this real!?"

"Yes, Peeta." She lifted his hand to her lips, placing a kiss against his clutched fists. "I promise it is."

Small pants escaped from between his lips. "If there's one person you must place your trust in, it is Katniss," Effie told him...drilled into Peeta's head, so when Katniss confirmed that everything around him was real, he tried his best to believe her.

"Dad?" Peeta stood from the chair and took a tentative step towards his father. "Is it really you?"

"Peeta," his father walked slowly towards him until both men took large steps into the others arms. A combination of tears through laughter was shared when Peeta hugged Prim...Evelyn... "Haymitch!" He gripped his mentor tightly and placed a hard kiss on the man's cheek. "That's from Effie."

Haymitch thumped at his back. "How...how's she doing, boy?"

Peeta had been wondering the same thing since he left her that morning."Wish I knew." They shared concerned looks. "She sent something for you." Peeta turned to Katniss, "Where's that computer?" It was handed to Peeta by a soldier. "Here," he placed it in Haymitch's waiting hands. "She said you and Plutarch should go to sponsor gifts and look up lamb stew."

Haymitch placed a hand on Peeta's shoulder, "You look like shit, boy," he chuckled.

"Thanks," Peeta grinned. "I feel like shit too."

"Bet you do," Haymitch pulled him in for another hug. "Damn good to see you. Katniss has been lost without you around."

The welcomes kept coming and coming as Peeta's blood was drawn, and tests were run. Beetee entered...Finnick...Greasy Sae... "Delly!" Peeta jumped up from his hospital bed and squeezed her tightly, crying and smiling at the same time, into her shoulder. "I didn't know if you made it or not."

The boxes were taken out of the room to be examined by Beetee, and several medical professionals of Thirteen just as President Coin entered and introduced herself. With her hand stuck out in front of her she said, "Welcome back to the rebellion, Peeta. We're all pleased to have our Jabberjay with us."

"Thanks," he stole a quick peek at Katniss who was leaning against a table with her arms crossed across her chest, staring intently at Coin.

"There's plenty you need to brief us on, but none of that can be accomplished until your medical treatment is completed, so we'll all excuse ourselves and give you a little time to adjust." Coin looked around the room, dismissing everyone with a nod of the head. "Good to meet you," she said as she walked out of the room.

Peeta waited until he and Katniss were the only ones left before saying, "Brrrrrr," he faked a chill. "That greeting from Coin was so warm and friendly. What was that? One or two sentences she said to me?"

"Yeah, she's not big on waste. You won't be catching her making conversation or anything. She might waste a word." Katniss hopped up on the bed next to Peeta. "You doing okay?"

"I guess," he ran a hand through his hair and confessed, "Not really." He stared out into space, "Katniss I can't tell you how hard this is. Snow told me my dad was dead, yet he stood right in front of me...hugged me. He said my friends were dead, and Delly...Sae...they were here too."

"Snow's full of shit, Peeta, or hadn't you figured that out by now?" She leaned back on the mattress. "I'm so tired, and soooo hungry." She looked up at him. "You hungry?"

A childlike grin crossed his face, "The last good meal I ate was in the arena. Oysters...clams..." Peeta licked his lips.

"Don't talk about oysters," Katniss put a hand over her stomach. "I still remember puking that stuff up. Yuck," she stuck her tongue out. Her eyes met his, her arms lifted, "Come lay with me."

"You sure?" He asked, not wanting to lead her on.

"Yeah." Katniss scooted up on the hospital bed until her head rested against the pillow. "When Regina comes back I'll ask her if she can get us some food. You can't bring it out of the dining hall without a doctor's orders," she rolled her eyes. "There are more rules here than you can imagine. Don't be surprised if they tell you when you can pee." She made a motion with her hands calling him to her. "Come here."

Peeta crawled his way up the mattress and placed his head on the pillow next to her. "Is this okay?" His arms were stiff as boards, stuck to the sides of his body. His legs sticking straight out.

"No," Katniss lifted his arm, pressed her head against his beating heart, and placed his free hand on her abdomen. "There, that's much better."

Peeta looked up at the ceiling trying not to let his rapidly beating heart get the best of him. "This is crazy," he said more to himself than to her.

"What is?" She closed her eyes and reveled in the feel of his arms around her.

"This morning I was strapped to a hospital table getting drugs pumped into my veins, and now..." he let out a breath. "It's all so...unreal. Like I'm in the middle of the best dream of my life."

"Is this the best dream of your life?" She placed a kiss against his chin. "If it is, then that's not saying much for our marriage," she let out a little giggle, and snuggled into his chest before realizing what she had said could be misconstrued as a dig at him for his lack of memory. "Oh Peeta," she lifted herself and faced him. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"It's okay," he pulled her back into his arms. "The only way I'm ever going to remember anything again is if you treat me like you used to, right? I mean...we should just try and go back to life as it used to be, don't you think?"

"I don't know," she honestly didn't. "You know...I meant it when I said we could start over. I wouldn't mind going back to our lunch dates underneath the oak tree. Of course they don't have one here, but there is a really nice elm in the woods."

"Thought you said you couldn't bring food out of the dining hall without a doctor's permission."

"Regina would probably help." Katniss yawned against his chest. Life felt almost...normal laying there with Peeta and talking. "Plus I get snacks during the day to keep in our quarters."

"We have quarters here?" Peeta asked with his brows raised. He had become accustomed to a jail cell, and expected something similar here though he didn't know why.

"Mmm hmmm," she ran her hand up and down the sides of his body. "I can't wait to show you everything I've discovered here," she thought of the hidden bedroom she created for her and Peeta just the night before.

Peeta's hand ran up and down her back. He glanced down at the black uniform she was wearing wishing she was dressed in something a little more...accessible. He thought of how she had ripped the top potion off of herself and pressed her chest against his while they were in the tunnel, and almost asked her to do it again."This is quite the getup you've got here."

"Yours looks just like it."

"I have one of these?"

"Yup. It's got a spot for everything. Knives, gas mask, body armor...a place for nightlock. The pill not the berry," she said then explained what it was.

"Damn, these rebels have it all figured out, don't they?" Peeta only wished he did. Figuring out what he was doing with Katniss, what he'd be doing for the rebellion now that he was out of Snow's clutches, how he was going to face... "Gale," he said softly. "Why didn't he stop by to say hi like everyone else?"

"I don't know," Katniss shrugged her shoulder. She didn't want to tell him she was glad Gale hadn't showed up. Things were so peaceful now that they weren't speaking of him. "Let's not talk about him, okay? It only upsets you."

"Yeah...sure," Peeta wondered why she wanted to avoid him, and tried to put it out of his mind. "I really am hungry."

Katniss stretched out her legs and got up. "Okay. I'm going to find Regina and get us some food. You stay here." She leaned over the bed and placed a kiss against his cheek. "I'm probably going to change too. You want me to bring you something to wear? I brought your favorite sweats here from Twelve and some of your sweaters...pajamas..."

"Pajamas? Like real pajamas?" The thought of wearing something comfortable was too good to pass up. "Don't suppose I can take a shower somewhere?"

She leaned into him and whispered in his ear, "If you can wait, I've got stuff for that too. I've been hiding our favorite soaps and shampoos so you can wash my hair for me," a coy grin played upon her mouth as she gave him a parting kiss on the lips. "Get some sleep while I'm gone."

"Shampoo her hair," he quietly asked himself once she left the room. He rested his arm against his forehead and gulped. 'Does she want me to take a shower with her?' he asked himself. 'I can't do that. I mean...crap...' His eyes darted back and forth. 'Well you did say you should live life the way you used to. Maybe you used to wash her hair for her.' Still the thought of doing such a thing kept Peeta from getting any rest while Katniss was gone. His mind kept going over the little things he remembered about her, and found himself liking her more and more the longer he spent time with her. Even their argument was sort of, 'Invigorating,' Peeta smiled to himself. 'She's exactly like Effie and Johanna described her. Tough...stubborn...a spitfire.' "Feisty," his bottom lip quirked. "I kind of like that," he said softly to himself. As he was going over the different sides of Katniss he had seen since first discovering her singing in the woods, the echo of her voice and someone else's traveled in through the door to his room the latest nurse left open.

"...you were the one that got me pregnant," he heard Katniss say.

"Are you kidding me?" 'Gale,' Peeta's eyes narrowed dangerously when he realized who it was Katniss was talking to. "Look, I didn't want to cause any trouble. I just wanted to..." his sentence trailed off.

There was silence until Katniss said, "Gale, he's my husband. I told you earlier, he's my responsibility. I'll take care of him."

"I know that!" Gale snapped.

"Then act like it," Katniss snapped back. "Once he's back on his feet...hopefully we'll be able to pick up where we left off," her voice got softer.

"You really think we'll ever be able to do that, Catnip? Now that he's back...now that he thinks these things about me?"

"I hope so," Katniss sounded like she was heartbroken. "I don't want to lose you, Gale, but he needs me."

"Yeah, and the rebellion needs both of you. Now that their Jabberjay is here, they'll need to make sure they get plenty of great footage of the two of you. Just like the Games."

"That's not fair, Gale."

There was pain in Gale's voice when he said, "It was never fair, Catnip. None of this was fair to you." He was quiet then added,"You know what...go to him. He needs you." Gale paused. "I don't." Peeta could swear he heard disgust in Gale's voice. He walked towards the door and peeked out. "I'm not going to sit around waiting for you, Catnip. I've got to move on."

"I know," she looked down between her feet. "I'm sorry, Gale."

"Yeah...well..." he pulled something orange out of his pocket. "I wanted to give this to you before I left."

Katniss looked down at the item in her hand and let out a small huff of laughter before tucking it into the sleeve of the oversized sweatshirt she was wearing. "Thanks."

"I'll miss you, Catnip." Gale reached out and took her hand.

"I'll miss you too," she stood on her tiptoes and hugged him. "Take care of yourself," she kissed his cheek.

Peeta threw the door opened and stepped into the hall. "Is this how it happened in Twelve too!?" He screamed. Fire coursed through him.

"Peeta..." Katniss said in surprise.

"This isn't what you think," Gale defended himself.

"Oh, and what do I think this is, Gale?" Peeta stepped closer to his former friend.

"Katniss told me what Snow did to you Peeta, and I'm here to tell you it was all lies."

"Peeta, please...let's just go back to..." Katniss took hold of his arm, only to have it yanked forcefully away.

"Don't touch me!" Peeta screamed in her face. Fury boiled through his system, and he welcomed it. Peeta's low and hateful growl attacked her, "You almost had me fooled...two timing bitch."

"That's enough of that," Gale stepped between Peeta and Katniss.

"This is none of your business, Hawthorne. This is between me and my...wife," Peeta spat out over Gale's shoulder at Katniss "For all I know that was a lie too. Why the hell would I marry someone like you?"

"You don't know what you're saying Peeta," Katniss looked around the deserted hallway for help before things got out of hand.

"You know what," Peeta pushed past Gale, "from what I understand, we didn't even have a ceremony. It was some sort of private toasting." The memory of explaining District Twelve's customs during an interview with Caesar before the Quell entered his mind. "Why don't we consider this a private divorce."

"You should go back to your room, Peeta," Gale warned, "before you cross any more lines."

"And you should go to hell!" Peeta's fist cracked him in the jaw causing Gale to fly back and hit his head against the hospital wall.

"You son of a bitch!" Gale yelled as he rushed Peeta.

Peeta's fists were relentless. Invincibility was the word that entered his mind once again as he allowed his rage to flow through his limbs into fists that pummeled at Gale's body. "You were supposed to be my friend!"

"Back off dough boy!" Gale grunted, punched and pushed back.

"PEETA!" Katniss automatically stepped towards them to pull them apart.

The force of Peeta's swing catching Katniss in the shoulder, throwing her into a wall, her body slumping to the ground, barely registered with him. His fists continued pounding at Gale's flesh. A foot caught a guard rushing towards them in the stomach preventing him from breaking up the fight as Peeta caught Gale in a choke hold. Peeta could feel himself squeezing the life out of the man. A voice in the back of his head was screaming at him to stop, telling him that Gale was a friend, but Peeta's silent words to himself didn't stop him from his brutal attack. It was the thump of something hard striking against the back of his head that finally put an end to their dispute, rendering Peeta unconscious

"Are you sure you're okay?" Peeta asked, looking over Katniss' shoulder at the wall, unable to face her after the things he had done.

"I'm fine." Katniss forced herself not to rub at the sore spot on her shoulder. "I shouldn't have tried to jump between the two of you."

"I shouldn't have..." Tears began to fall as he hid his shame in his hands. Though he was directing his anger at Gale earlier, Peeta had no clue if his next outburst would be directed towards Katniss or not. "You need to go, Katniss. Please leave."

"I'm not going anywhere," she said stubbornly. "Think you can throw a few punches and I'll...what? Run away in fear?" She said roughly, "Well then, you're right...you don't know me at all."

He lifted his face to hers, finally looking her in the eyes. "Why are you here? Don't you understand what I'm capable of?"

"I know exactly what you're capable of." Her voice got softer, "You're the one that seems to have forgotten." She stood up and made her way towards Boggs. "Unlock him."

"Think that's wise?" Boggs stole a peek at Peeta.

"Look at him," Katniss turned to face a forlorn Peeta looking broken and drained. He was the picture of an emotional train wreck. "He won't do a thing to me. He didn't do a thing to me out there. I was the one that jumped in the middle of them."

Boggs looked back and forth between the pair then handed her the key. "I'll be just outside the door if you need me."

Katniss tightened her fist over the key. "We won't need you." She waited until Boggs left them alone then dimmed the lights. "Okay," she took the cuff off of Peeta's hand. "Time to talk things out." She set the key on the counter and left the handcuffs dangling on the bed's railing.

"What's left to talk about?" Peeta wiped at his eyes. He didn't blame her if she never wanted to speak to him again.

"Plenty," Katniss gave him a light tap on the thigh. "Get up. You and I are going to work through some things, and there's only one way I know how to do that."

Peeta stood close to the hospital bed, his fingers wrapped around the railing. "How?"

She walked to the bathroom door. "Come on. We're going to take a shower."

"What!?" Peeta's eyebrows shot up. "Are you insane!?"

"Actually, I'm mentally disoriented. I've got a bracelet that says so." She held her wrist out to show him and let out a little laugh. "See? I'm so disoriented I keep forgetting I'm not wearing the damn thing anymore." She waited a few seconds then ordered gently, "Move it. I want to take a shower."

Peeta shuffled his feet hesitantly across the floor towards her. "Katniss, I don't think this is a good idea."

"Know what your problem is?" She didn't wait for an answer. "You think too much. That's always been your problem. You think things through waaaaay too much," she reached out and took his hand, pulling him into the bathroom the second he was within distance. "Of course, I don't think anything through. Probably why we make such a good pair." She pulled the shirt he was wearing from the Capitol over his head. "You force me to think with you. I force you to stop thinking with me, and together we come to the perfect conclusion." The sight of various colored bruises against a canvas of pasty white flesh gave her pause. 'Should you really be doing this? Do you think he's strong enough for what you have in mind?' Physically the doctors told her that Peeta's body would be weakened now that the hostile side effects of the drugs weren't causing his adrenaline to take over, and mentally, Katniss knew he was badly damaged, but there was only one way she'd get her Peeta back, and that was to push him. Remind him who he really is, and that she'd love him no matter what. She lifted Peeta's sweatshirt she was wearing over her head and tossed it to the side then turned to face him head on.

"You really should stop this." Peeta's eyes grew wide when he noticed her standing there in pants and a bra. Causing her bodily harm was no longer in the forefront of his mind. The thought of Katniss' naked body was. "I mean...we just met."

Katniss let out a burst of laughter as she reached into the shower to turn it on. "Yeah...okay."

He twisted his face a bit at his stupid statement. "You know what I mean."

"Yup." Katniss unbuttoned her pants and let them drop to the ground. "You think," she faced him, "and you know how I feel about that whole thinking thing...you think," she continued, "...you don't know me, but I'm going to prove to you that you're wrong. That you know me better than you realized. Now drop your pants and get in the shower." Peeta stood unmoving in his spot. "I can take them off for you if you'd prefer," she threatened lightly.

He shook his head. "No, I can do it, but...I'm still not sure we should be doing...I'm not quite sure what we're doing."

"It's called bathing," Katniss kicked the slippers she was wearing to the side, and stepped into the shower with her undergarments on. "Come on."

"We don't have to strip?" Peeta peeked behind the shower's door to see if she was still covered.

"I'd like to. Wearing this stuff in here is exceptionally uncomfortable, but I don't want you running for the hills, so...leave the drawers on and get in."

He took a moment to think this through. 'This is probably normal for her. Well...maybe not wearing underwear in the shower, but everything else is most likely normal behavior. She thinks we're married. But you told her you wanted a divorce,' Peeta blew out a breath of frustration. 'Okay, that was pretty dumb on my part. So make it up to her,' he thought to himself. 'Get in the shower with her.'

"You coming?" She asked impatiently. "The hospital is the only place that has a shower running twenty-four hours a day, but trust me...they'll know if we've used more than our allotted amount of water."

"Um..."

"Geez," she peeked her head out. "I need my hair washed. You coming in or not?"

"Yeah," he swallowed the giant lump that had formed in his throat, and left the remainder of his clothing on the bathroom floor before stepping into the shower. The second he was in there with her he immediately started to apologize for the way he acted and the things he said. "Katniss I'm sorry abo..."

"Shut up," she put her fingers over his lips to silence him. "This is what we do each night." She bent over and reached for a bottle of shampoo, opened his hand and placed a huge blob of it in his palm. "We don't talk now. We talk later. Right now you wash my hair, then I wash yours." She noticed the look of question. "We're living life the way we used to, Peeta. Just like you said. Now let's get this over and done with because this wet bra is scratching the hell out of me."

Peeta let out a little laugh and said, "Turn around." It wasn't as uncomfortable as he thought it would be, showering with her. They did it in silence, at Katniss' insistence. Washed each others hair, he was amazed at how gentle she was around the lump at the base of his skull, then did their own bathing. Peeta used a bar of soap that had no scent to it, but left him feeling clean for the first time in a long time, and the stuff Katniss squeezed out onto a sponge smelled like heaven. They wrapped towels around themselves, Peeta went into his hospital room, then he put on the pajamas she brought him, but Katniss kept the top, and got dressed in the bathroom.

"Give me your wet stuff." Katniss stuck her arm out of the bathroom door, "I'll hang them up."

"Um...thanks," Peeta gave her his boxers wrapped in a towel. "Katniss?" he asked through the closed door. "Now what do we do?"

"Bed," she called out to him.

'Bed,' his eyes traveled to the hospital bed and thought, 'That's kind of tiny for two people.'

"Okay," the bathroom door opened to reveal a fresh faced Katniss with damp brown locks hanging around her shoulders. "Braid my hair," she turned her back to him.

He reached out, gathered it in his hands and asked, "Can you leave it down?" The combination of the scent that wafted up from her hair and those freckles sprinkled across the bridge of her perfectly straight nose caused Peeta's insides to quiver in delight.

"Don't remember how to braid my hair?" She asked over her shoulder.

He remembered how to braid, but how did he answer her? "I...uh...no. Don't remember that."

"Okay. I'll teach you how tomorrow," she grabbed her hair and started to plait it.

His hand immediately stopped her. "Can you leave it, Katniss?" He asked again.

She noticed the pleading look in his eyes, remembered how much he liked it when she wore it down at night and said, "Sure. I hate sleeping with it in a braid anyway." The band to hold her hair placed on a counter, she took his hand and led them to bed. "Get in," she gave him the time he needed to join her under the covers.

'Get in,' he repeated her order to himself in his head. 'Nothing happened in the shower so I'm sure this will be fine.' A few deep breaths, then Peeta climbed in next to her, once again lying flat on his back with his limbs as stiff as boards. "Do we talk now?" At this point he'd be grateful for the distraction, because lying next to her this way was attacking his senses.

"Almost," Katniss was on her side facing him. "Roll over, Peeta. Face me."

He closed his eyes for a moment in an attempt to work up the courage, then did what she asked. He was about to say something to her when she threw her leg over his, tangling them beneath the blanket, and cupped his cheeks in her hands.

"Now, we talk," she said as she brushed her nose against his. "This is how we talk things through. Before we go to sleep each night, we do this," she pulled his arm over her waist, then took his face between her hands again. "This is how all of our important decisions...conversations, were had."

Peeta had a very difficult time believing that. "Even after the huge fight we had?"

"Especially after a huge fight." Katniss placed a soft kiss against his jaw.

A shock ran through him at the gentle pressure of her lips against his skin. "How..." he cleared his throat. "How do you concentrate when we're lying this way?"

"It's not easy," Katniss admitted. "Especially now. I've missed you quite a bit, but...talking things through was always very important to us, and that's the one thing I'm not willing to let you forget. You want to forget our wedding...fine. We can always get remarried."

"Katniss," Peeta stopped her before she could say anything else. "About that..." With regret in his voice he said, "I shouldn't have said those things to you about wanting a divorce."

"No, you shouldn't have, but you did and now we need to face it." Katniss pulled slightly away from him and looked him in the eyes. "The way I see it...you don't remember marrying me, so you can't divorce me. Besides, you were wrong when you said we only had a toasting. We were married by the mayor of Twelve."

"Yeah, Prim told me that when she took care of my head earlier." Peeta gave her a sheepish look. "She was pretty pissed off at me for saying those things to you."

"Prim's always been our biggest fan," a sly grin curled her lips. "I won't ask you if you want to be married to me, because you probably don't know the answer to that, but I will tell you, we are legally married, and you put the paperwork somewhere. Don't ask me where because I have no clue," Katniss answered his question before he could ask it.

"Didn't I tell you where I put it?"

"Nope," she gave her lips a little purse in frustration.

"That was pretty stupid of me," Peeta's hand ran down her hip without realizing it. "Don't know what I could have been thinking."

Katniss quirked a brow, "It was our wedding night. We had other things on our mind."

"Oh," Peeta blushed slightly.

"As far as our marriage goes... I meant it when I said I'd be willing to start over with you. I'd be happy to date you, but don't ask me to be just your friend, because then I'll have to kick your ass."

Peeta let out a little laugh, "I may not remember being married to you, but..." 'Here it goes,' he thought to himself as he took a huge leap in his road to recovery. He rested his head against hers, "...I know I don't want to be just your friend."

It did her heart good to hear him repeat the words he said to her the day he first held her hand. "I, for one, am looking forward to reliving our dates under the oak tree."

"Think it'll be wise to spend time with me without anyone around?" This was still a very big concern for him. The last thing he wanted to do was hurt her again.

"Think we'll actually be alone?" Katniss asked him. "You know they'll film every second we're together, right?"

He loathed the thought. "They're not filming us now, are they?" He asked with a hint of hope in his voice.

"Doubt it." Katniss ran her fingers through his hair and nuzzled her nose against his neck, taking in the clean scent of his skin. A soft sigh escaped from her lips, "We should take advantage of it. This will probably be the only time we don't have eyes locked on us." There were ears though she wasn't sure if Boggs, who was surely still standing guard outside of the closed hospital door, could hear anything. She lowered her voice down and said, "You heard me talking in the hallway earlier, right?"

"Yeah."

"Through the closed door?"

"One of the nurses left it open when she left." The smell of lavender filled his senses. "God, you smell good."

"I was just thinking the same thing about you," She smiled against his skin.

"Spring," he buried his nose in her hair. "You smell like spring."

"You smell like..." she lifted her eyes to his, "...you."

They held onto each other in silence for a little while before Peeta asked, "When we talked in the past like this, did we fight?"

"Never when we were in bed like this. Why?"

He wanted to ask her a few things, but was a bit nervous about it. "There are some things I need to know, and I was hoping you could help me with them."

Katniss gave him a small nod. "I'll help you any way I can."

"I'm not sure how to start." He gave it some thought then explained what was going through his mind when he attacked Gale. "I have a hard time determining what's real, and what's not real, so when I heard you and Gale in the hallway talking, I kind of...lost it."

"Kind of?" Katniss arched her brow. "Putting it a bit mildly, don't you think?"

"Okay, I lost it." Peeta resigned. "Thing is...before that, I was fine, then images of the two of you kept going through my head. When I hit him...I didn't think we were in the hospital. I thought we were in the woods. I swear, Katniss...I saw trees...heard birds..." Peeta could see it all over again. "I was certain I had come up on the two of you while you were..." He squeezed his eyes closed trying to push the image from his mind.

"Open your eyes and look at me," she recognized the tension in his body and didn't want him falling back into the same state he was in earlier. "All you have to do is ask me, like you did earlier with your dad...ask me what's real, and what's not, and I'll tell you." She saw the worry on his face. "We can even make a game out of it." She made a mental not telling herself to talk to their friends and family about it so they could do this with him too.

"A game?" He said doubtfully. "Doesn't sound like much fun."

"Maybe not, but it will help." She ran a foot down his calf. "Go ahead and ask me about something you're not sure of, and I'll answer you."

He blew a breath out. "You and Gale...in the hallway...you were hugging him...kissed his cheek. Real, or not real?"

"Real," Katniss said with a straight face. "He was telling me that he'd be leaving Thirteen to join the fight in District Two, and I was saying goodbye."

Peeta thought about Gale's words to her. "So when he said he couldn't wait around for you..."

"He was talking about me joining him in District Two," she answered honestly.

"And when you said that I was your responsibility?"

Katniss' eyes glared, but they weren't directed at Peeta. "He talked to Coin about you, and it pissed me off. He tried to defend your actions while you were at the Capitol."

Hearing this surprised Peeta. "And you didn't want him to defend me?"

"Hell no," Katniss snapped. "I wanted to talk to her. I wasn't about to go in there begging for your forgiveness either. You didn't do a damn thing wrong." Katniss snuggled closer to him, and spoke with a bit of aggression. "I wanted that woman on her knees after all she did...or should I say, didn't do."

"I know what she did, but...what didn't she do?" Peeta's leg moved between Katniss'.

"When I think of how long you were at the Capitol...being tortured..." Katniss let out a little grunt, and tried not to think of the wounds on his bare chest. "She could have sent in a team weeks ago, instead she kept postponing it."

"Think she'll send people in there now that I'm out?" Peeta was worried for his friends still there.

"She better," Katniss snapped. "That was part of my deal to become the Mockingjay. Rescue all of you, including Effie Trinket, from the Capitol."

"You included Effie in your conditions to become the Mockingjay?" Peeta smiled a little.

"Of course," Katniss furrowed her brow. "You didn't think I'd leave her behind, did you? That woman is like a mother to you."

That was another thing he wanted to talk about. "Snow tried to convince me she was my mother...that she took me in after I relocated to the Capitol."

"Didn't I say Snow was full of shit?" Katniss tightened her arms around his back. "Not the Effie part, but you being a Capitol resident." She rolled her eyes in disgust. "The man has a screw loose."

"So you think it's okay to think of Effie as my mother?"

"Of course I do." Katniss wondered how much he remembered about his own mother. She didn't want to refresh his memory if he had forgotten the things she did to him. "You want to call Effie, mom, then I say, go right ahead. If there's one thing I've learned since seeing the two of you together it's that, the title of mother isn't something a person is owed because they gave birth to you, it's earned. A mom should love you no matter what, and Effie loves you that way."

Peeta squeezed her briefly. "Thanks, Katniss." He kissed her cheek. "You're the first person that hasn't told me she wasn't my mom."

Katniss gave it a second then asked, "Effie Trinket is your mother. Real, or not real?"

Without thinking about it, Peeta followed his heart and said, "Real."

"Damn right that's real," Katniss agreed.

A strange sense of calm engulfed Peeta as Katniss' fingers ran through the hair above his ear. "This is the first time in...I don't know how long, I actually feel like I've got some semblance of control in my life."

She hadn't been thinking about it, but now that Peeta brought it up, "Me too," she had to agree with him. "It's...nice." It was more than nice, but she didn't want to frighten him by telling him how lonely she had been while he was gone, or how much she loved being held by him.

There was one more thing he needed to find out, then, he swore to himself, he'd never ask her about it again. "The baby. Real, or...not real?" Everyone, including the guard that was keeping watch over him, had expressed their condolences for the loss of his child.

"We're not going to start on the whole, Gale's the father shit again, are we?" She wasn't in the mood for it.

"No." Haymitch had really laid into him when he first woke up after fighting with Gale...about the things he had said to Katniss...the nonsense with the baby. The man was his mentor...his neighbor, and from the things Haymitch had told Peeta about him and Katniss...the way they acted together in Victor's Village before leaving for the Quell...the knocks on their front door that were ignored when they were home alone...the telephone that went unanswered more often than not...the television scenes he played on that tiny computer of them on the roof of the tribute center a couple of days before the Quell... "No, I'm pretty sure it was me that got you pregnant, but...it's sort of strange that everyone keeps saying how sorry they are about the baby."

Katniss pulled his face to hers, "I told you that would happen. Hardly anyone knows, Peeta."

"So it's real?"

She pressed the palm of his hand against her bare abdomen, "I told you already...very real."

A thought struck him. "Do you want this baby, Katniss?" His brow furrowed in concern.

She knew he was only trying to combat the suspicions Snow had put into his head, and did her best not to overreact to his questions. "Yes. I want it more than anything."

"Then why would you go to District Eight and put the baby in danger?"

She let her head rest against his for a second then sighed. "You have no idea how hard that was for me. How scared I was when I got back and woke up from my injuries." Her guilt began to cause a tightening in her chest. "I had to be the Mockingjay. It was either stay here and put the baby in danger along with Justus and Regina's, or go to Eight and put only our child in danger."

"Hell of a dilemma," Peeta didn't know what he'd do if he were faced with the same decision to make then it hit him. "You had a list of demands for becoming the Mockingjay, right?"

"Mmm hmm," she gave him an inquisitive look. "Why?"

"Well, they're going to want their Jabberjay fighting on their side now that I'm back." A conniving grin played at the corner of his lip. "Maybe I've got some demands of my own."

"Oooh," Katniss felt a surge of excitement rush through her. "Did I say you thought too much?" Peeta nodded. "I was sooooo wrong. Tell me what you've got in mind."

"Not me," he let his eyes flow to hers. "Us. What we've got in mind." His heart smiled when she caressed his cheek with the palm of her hand and looked lovingly into his eyes. "Our baby...we make decisions together, right?"

"Right," she breathed a sigh of relief when he said the words, 'our baby.'

"Then I say, screw waiting for Haymitch to come up with a plan. They want me, they can have me, but they can't have you, and they sure as hell can't have our baby."

"They'll never agree to that, Peeta." Katniss knew no one would agree to her not keeping up the image of the Mockingjay. "They want both of us."

"Fine," Peeta gave it some thought. "They can have us both, but you don't leave Thirteen. No more dangerous missions. No more visits to Twelve...or any district for that matter."

Katniss liked this idea. "They might go for that, but they're going to ask why."

"Then we'll tell them the truth." Though he felt a rush of determination soaring through him, his tone was tender when he spoke of their baby. "We'll tell them banana nut comes first. I'll go on the missions...I'll do their propos, or whatever they call them. And that's another thing," he was on a roll, "this recording us twenty-four hours a day crap is coming to an end. We'll give them designated hours, and that's it."

"God, I've missed you," Katniss smiled at Peeta's ingenuity.

"What limitations should we give them?" Peeta asked her not knowing what the surveillance was like here in Thirteen.

"For starters, they can stay the hell out of our bedroom."

"Were they in our quarters?"

"No, but I keep thinking about our time at the Capitol and how every second of our time..." Katniss closed her eyes remembering their intimate moments that had been recorded while at the Capitol. "I just don't want them to intrude on our private time together."

"Maybe we should tell them they can't film us while we go on those lunch dates?" Peeta suggested.

"They're never going to go for that either," Katniss grumbled.

"Okay...we'll offer them three days a week and settle for every other day."

"I can live with that," Katniss grinned then nuzzled into his neck. "This is nice isn't it? Being here like this...holding each other..." It felt wondrous to Katniss. Like a dream come true.

The heat of her skin burned through his palm that was still on her belly. He had to pull his hand away from her before he got carried away. "I should probably stop touching you this way, huh?" His fingers stroked back and forth below her navel.

"I don't mind what you're doing." She had missed it so much. Longed for a moment like this from the second she saw him falling from the hovercraft's ladder in the arena. "Does it bother you touching me this way?"

"No," he shook his head, "but I do feel sort of..." he gave his nose a little twitch, "...like I'm crossing some sort of moral line or something."

Katniss arched her brow, "Yes, Peeta. You got me pregnant by feeding me cheese buns," she said dryly.

He let out a little chuckle. "Well then...maybe I should find a kitchen?" He joked and pulled his hand away, then placed it back on her stomach. His hand continued to stroke her skin as her nose brushed back and forth across his chin. Before he knew it, her fingers were mimicking his actions against his stomach. "This feels a little too good, Katniss, and I'm not sure I'm ready for that."

"Oh, I know you're not ready for that. Lord, you couldn't even step in the shower with me without wearing underwear."

Peeta let out a louder laugh and said, "First arena. You covered me with a small backpack so you didn't have to see me naked. Real..."

"Shut up." She playfully tapped at the flat of his stomach. "We weren't married then."

"Are we married now? I thought we decided we were just dating," Peeta inhaled deeply when he felt her lips start to travel up the side of his neck.

"Dating...married...fooling around..." She couldn't help herself. She just had to kiss him. "Whatever." Her hungry lips pressed against his reluctant ones.

"We should stop," he said even though that was the last thing in the world he wanted to do.

"So tell me to stop," Katniss pulled him in for another kiss, only this time he kissed back.

He didn't say a word, just enjoyed the feeling of her hands running over his chest, her foot gliding back and forth across his calf, and her mouth brushing against his. At first he thought the kiss was nice...pleasant, then Katniss pressed herself against him, slid her tongue between their lips, and Peeta's head began to spin. They had shared kisses like this in the tunnel, but now...under the blankets, with her naked legs entwined with his, the thin layer of the luxurious silk pajama shirt the only thing separating their bare chests...their rapidly beating hearts, and the air between them sizzling like a live wire, Peeta could barely keep his wits about him. His chest tightened. His heart swelled. His hands moved...caressed...had a mind of their own, and then Katniss whimpered into their open mouths and Peeta swore he saw sparks flash behind the lids of his closed eyes. When they finally pulled apart he rested his forehead against hers, tried to control the short bursts of air flowing in and out of his lungs, and asked, "Was it always like this with us?"

"Like what?" She wondered what 'it' felt like for him.

"Like..." he placed a kiss against the tip of her nose...her cheek...the corner of her mouth... "Amazing," but it was more than that. There was no denying the physical attraction between the two of them, but there was also an emotional charge flowing between them that Peeta couldn't overlook. "Electric," he breathed out in awe against her skin.

"Yeah," she pulled him against her by his hips. "This..." she motioned a finger back and forth between them. "This is the part of us, no one else sees. This is the real Katniss and Peeta that we save for each other."

"I like this version of us very much. Maybe a little too much," he admitted when he felt the uncontrollable racing of his pulse.

"Want me to stop?" She hoped to God he didn't.

He knew he should say yes, but he just couldn't find it in him. "No, but..." he let out a nervous gust of air, "...I think we should be careful not to... I mean the kissing is great, but..." He closed his eyes and shook his head back and forth knowing he sounded like a complete idiot.

"We won't do anything you're not comfortable with." Katniss nipped at his ear. "In case you're wondering...I'm pretty much comfortable with anything when it comes to you."

"Oh God," Peeta rested his forehead on hers. "You don't play very fair, do you?"

"Nope," she flicked her tongue against his bottom lip. "All's fair in love and war, and since we're currently in a war, and I currently love you..." She could feel his entire body stiffen when she said that. "Peeta, you don't have to say it back." She cradled his cheek in the palm of her hand. "I have enough love for both of us."

An overwhelming amount of guilt surged through him. He could say it, but if he did, she'd think he remembered loving her, and he didn't. "I have strong feelings for you, Katniss, and I'm trying my best to figure them out right now, which is probably why we should stop this." He pulled away from her. "Until I can return these feelings for you..."

"Oh for goodness sake," Katniss pulled him back. "You think you'd be the first guy in history to not let his heart lead the way?"

"You mean with you?" His brows shot up.

"No!" Katniss let out a huff of air. "Get it straight Mellark." She pointed an accusing finger at him. "There have been no other guys in my life, but you. You on the other hand..." she gave him a cocky quirk of the lips, "...you've certainly been free with your kisses prior to me."

"I wouldn't exactly say I was free with them," Peeta said lightly. "I mean...there were a few girls, but none that really made a lasting impression." None that he could remember anyway.

"So you say," Katniss teased him. "And please don't tell me you remember them and not me, because then I'll have a little...no, not a little...a pretty huge fit, and I can chalk it up to pregnancy hormones, so you can't do a thing about it."

Peeta let out a burst of laughter. "God it feels good to laugh again."

"It's good to hear you laugh." The humor was gone as electricity flowed between them. They held each other's gaze as Katniss rolled herself on top of him. "Is this hurting your bruises?"

"No," he had no clue why he was letting her do this to him, but he knew he couldn't stop her. If he did, he'd regret it for the rest of his life.

Her hair fell down around their faces as Katniss dipped her head towards his. "One more kiss and then I'll let you push me off of you if you want."

Holy cow did he want, but not to push her off. He let her take charge and closed his eyes, enjoying the feel of her body pressing against his. The taste of her lips...the scent of her hair... He didn't stop the kiss, or the next one, or the one after that. He didn't put a halt to her hands running up and down his body, or stop himself from kissing areas of her, he wouldn't have dreamed of unless she asked him to. When she did ask him...he was only more than happy to oblige. Did he remember his love for her? No. Did he love her? If it wasn't love, then he couldn't imagine what it was, because he was pretty sure it was the best feeling he had ever experienced in his whole life.

"Son of a bitch!" The sound of Haymitch's bellowing as he entered their room, the bright white light bringing their current position of Peeta lying on top of Katniss into view, was a bit of a shocker. "Break it up. We need you two in the Command Center."

Katniss glared dangerously at Haymitch. "Now!?" Lord how she hated her mentor's impeccable sense of timing.

"Yeah, now sweetheart," Haymitch answered. "There's a guard out here to escort Peeta there. Let me know when you two are...ready." Haymitch stepped out, and called through the door quite loudly, "HURRY UP AND PUT YOUR CLOTHES BACK ON!"

"Oh my God," Katniss buttoned the top button of her pajamas. "Do I look naked to you?" She hopped out of bed and went for her pants. "I'm dressed. You're dressed," she fumed.

Peeta didn't want to point out that they were barely dressed because she seemed pretty pissed off. He let out a little sniff.

"What?" Katniss glared at him when she heard him make a sound.

"I was just thinking, it's good to know I'm not the only one with a temper around here."

"Oh...bite me," she threw his sweatshirt she wore earlier in his face.

Peeta let out a burst of laughter and pulled it over his head. He really enjoyed the many sides of Katniss she had shown him that day. The guard handcuffed one of Peeta's wrists to the wheelchair for his own safety. When Katniss had a fit, the guard informed them that Gale would be attending the meeting, and Peeta said flatly, "Cuff me."

"Peeta," Katniss began to argue with him, but stopped when she remembered how badly things turned out the last time they saw each other. The last thing she needed was for Peeta to attack Gale in front of President Coin. "Will you at least keep one hand free?"

"I'd rather not," he said seriously. He held it up to her, "Want to hold it?"

"Yes," she nodded, and worried with each step they took towards the Command Center. "So why are we going to command?" Katniss asked Haymitch.

"There's a broadcast playing, and our friends narrating it," there was an unmistakable tone of anguish in Haymitch's voice. "Coin wants the two of you there."

"Have they shown Effie?" Peeta asked, wondering what happened to her after he abandoned her and raced for his freedom.

"Not yet, but if they do...Plutarch can rewind it."

The usual gathering of Thirteen's elite rebels, and the Capitol's film crew were gathered in the Command Center watching and listening to the familiar voices of Annie Cresta, Johanna Mason and Effie Trinket.

"Did ya see Effie yet?" Haymitch asked the second he walked into the room

"Not yet," Plutarch answered then greeted both Katniss and Peeta. "Good to see you two together again."

'Yeah,' Katniss thought to herself, 'I'm sure you're all relieved that the Star-Crossed Lovers are back together again.' Her eyes lifted to Gale who had a small knot on his chin and a split bottom lip. 'Okay, maybe not all.'

Peeta knew he should probably apologize to Gale for earlier, but watching...listening for Effie was much more important than anything else at the moment. He squeezed Katniss' hand in his as they heard Johanna and Annie describing the damage the war was causing in each district. The destruction in Four. The trees that had burned down in Seven. The factories in Eight that no longer existed. Never once was there a mention of the people the Capitol's army had murdered during the fighting, only how the rebels had died of their own accord. Effie's voice was speaking as scenes were shown on the television screen, but the woman had yet to be seen. 'Come on...come on...' Peeta's head was reeling. 'Show her.'

And like that the image of Effie Trinket lit up the screen. Capitol wig in place, makeup to match. Pursed lips, a quirked brow. Her ankles in irons. Her hands cuffed in her lap. Effie looked straight into the camera, "Please my darlings," everyone knew who she was talking to. "My sweet boy, Peeta...my fiery girl, Katniss... there in Thirteen...dead by morni..." Effie was toppled to the floor by an unseen force, her wig knocked off of her head.

Peeta could sense the rage coursing through him at the sounds of Johanna, Annie and Effie's cries of pain. He released Katniss' hand and squeezed the arm of the wheelchair until his knuckles went white from lack of blood flow. The anger he had felt when he attacked Gale was nothing compared to the rage currently taking over his system.

The voice of President Snow called out, "Cut the feed!" A loud female yelp, no one knew who it belonged to, cried out in desperation. The last thing anyone saw was blood spraying across the camera's lens as the screen faded to black.