Mockingjay: Broken Wings

by Jamie Sommers

A/U Katniss and Peeta are married, expecting a baby. Peeta's unsure of Katniss after the things he's seen while being held prisoner. Is she still trustworthy? With a traitor in the rebellion who can Katniss turn to? Haymitch, after all the secrets he's kept? Gale, who's loyalty lies with President Coin? Or will Peeta open up his heart to her again? Sequel to CF: Rekindling

14. When We Were

Mockingjay: Broken Wings

By: Jamie Sommers

Chapter Thirteen: When We Were...

There's just so much to say! First I have to say thank you to all of you that take the time to read, as well as those who review. I swear to you, I have the most loyal readers ever! Not to mention the best reviewers. You guys totally keep me going, so thanks. S and A, through your busy days and nights you still take time out of your life to read these chapters, correct them, comment...advise, and I can never thank you enough. One of my betas will be on vaca till the end of the month, so please be patient if it takes a little longer to get chapters out. Not to mention I finally found a house and have to pack and move by the first of the year...plus there's that whole Christmas thing.

Previously, Effie was rescued from the Capitol. Peeta and Katniss had told the world about their daughter, and Peeta got caught wearing an earpiece in which Plutarch fed him some words of advice. I wonder what Plutarch said and if Katniss should have gotten so mad? And what did Coin think about the announcement of their child? Oh so much drama!

Feel free to follow me on tumblr to see what's up with the story at jamiesommers23 dot tumblr dot com.

Let's go find out what's up in...

Mockingjay: Broken Wings

The film crew began gathering up their equipment as Finnick made his way towards Katniss and Peeta. The man was completely lost in his own world, failing to notice the argument between the pair as well as the president's damning stare. "So...what do you want to do now?"

"Peeta," Beetee pushed his glasses up on his nose with one finger, the other waving in the air as he hurried toward the trio, "if you're feeling up to it, I think this would be a perfect time to start training you with your gauntlets."

Whether he knew it or not, Beetee had come up with a brilliant plan, get Katniss downstairs where she could shoot, and be out of Coin's line of fire. "Gauntlets? You mean there's more than one?" Peeta asked, pretending to be interested in the man's suggestion.

"Oh, yes," Beetee answered, "one for each hand. I'm also working on spare weapons for each of you in case you damage them in the line of duty," he paused, "Perhaps I won't need to worry so much about your bow and arrows any longer Katniss, unless of course you're planning on going out into the field in your condition. Then again, there's always the chance that you'll have no choice." Katniss and Peeta exchanged concerned looks as Beetee continued without hesitation. "How far along are you now, Katniss?"

"Um..." Beetee's lack of reaction came as a surprise to her. "Somewhere between eleven and twelve weeks."

"Well that explains it," Beetee said as though everyone should understand what he was talking about.

"Explains what?" Katniss asked.

"Why the baby's DNA hadn't been recognized sooner. Normally, when a woman in Thirteen is pregnant, like your Dr. Valero, the scanners are able to identify both the mother and child's DNA, but doesn't announce it until the gender has been established. Of course it helps that your DNA is in the system Peeta."

"Why's that?" He asked.

"The system was able to recognize all of the child's DNA markers, not t mention, Katniss was furious when everyone and everything continued to use her maiden name."

"You were?" Peeta slanted his gaze towards Katniss as he let this little bit of information sink in.

"Oh yes," Beetee answered for her. The scowl that crossed Katniss' face clearly said she wanted the man to shut up. "I wouldn't care to imagine how she'd react to your daughter being identified as Everdeen."

"Would it have done that?" Peeta asked trying not to smile as Katniss pierced Beetee with daggers. "Identified it as female…Everdeen?"

"Oh, yes. Especially since none of us in security even knew it existed. If we had known, we would have been able to prevent the scanner from telling you what the gender was, even prevented it from announcing the pregnancy all together if that's what you preferred." Beetee started thinking aloud, "Hmmm...I should have thought of that when the alarms went off with you the first time, but...the doctor's explanation did have merit..." Beetee went on as Peeta noticed the pair of hard eyes continuing to burn a hole through Katniss across the damaged woods.

"Why don't you three head down to Special Weaponry, and I'll meet you there," Peeta suggested.

"Yes. Good. Good," Beetee began walking over broken branches, and loose rubble. "Finnick I've made some adjustments to your trident that you'll want to look over."

"Where are you going?" As if Katniss had to ask.

The conversation he had with Katniss the very first night he was in Thirteen came to mind. "I've got a list of demands that need to be met." Peeta placed his hand on the center of her back and urged her to follow Beetee. "Go on...I'll meet you there. We'll continue our conversation later."

Anger be damned. Right now, banana nut was the priority, and her fight with Peeta could wait. "I'm going with you," she insisted.

"No, you're not." Peeta guided her away from the others and lifted the wrist she wore the fetal monitoring device on. "The last thing we need is to give Coin what she wants. Dr. Valero said you've been having severe problems with your blood pressure and it's causing issues with the baby. Please, Katniss...please," he pleaded. "Let me do this. Let me take care of my family." He waited until he saw her reluctant nod. "Thank you."

"You'll come straight to Special Defense afterward." It was an order, not a request.

"Yes."

"No stopping...anywhere. Meet with her, then..."

"Then I'll come straight to you, and you can finish yelling at me," he grinned.

"Get that cocky smile off of your face." She hated it when he melted her resolve so easily and those smiles of his always got him back in her good graces. "I'm still pissed as hell at you."

"I know." The hand that had been holding her wrist was now running up and down her arm. "And I know you want to pull away from me right now, but she's watching, and I don't want her to think we're fighting...again, so give me a smile..." her face was stone. "Come on, Katniss, just a little one. Pretend you're being filmed."

"That's your specialty, not mine," her tone cold as ice.

He made a little sound of displeasure then suggested, "Why don't you pretend it's my face you're shooting arrows at while you're in training? That should help." She flashed him a very bright, very fake smile. "Don't look too pleased," he gave her a genuine smile back. "Now go shoot something." He gave her upper arm a little squeeze, thought about giving her a kiss on the cheek, but knew he'd be pushing his luck and walked towards his destination, not stopping until he stood shoulder to shoulder with President Coin.

"Mr. Mellark," Coin's voice was feminine yet very domineering.

"President Coin," Peeta matched her controlled tone. "I think you and I need to have a conversation."

Coin was staring straight ahead, as was Peeta. "Perhaps your wife should be in on this?"

"Perhaps not," Peeta stated in a no nonsense manner. "We can either talk out here, or do this someplace private. The choice is yours, ma'am." Peeta waited until she turned on her heels and led him to the Command Center. He noticed several different soldiers working inside and asked, "Do you really want an audience for this?"

Coin stood with her hands behind her back and asked, "Do you have something to say they shouldn't hear?"

"That all depends on what you want them to be privy to, ma'am." Peeta took a seat, crossed a leg over his knee and presented a picture of total comfort, a complete contradiction to how he was feeling. "For example, do you want them to hear about the treatment of expectant mothers while they're unconscious, or the hospital room I was placed in that had hidden..."

"Dismissed," Coin barked the order out quite loudly.

Soldiers stopped working instantaneously, exiting without hesitation, and Peeta had to admit he was somewhat impressed. "You're either a very intimidating leader, or your soldiers are very well trained." He leaned back in his chair. "I'm not sure which yet. Either way, I suppose that's a good quality to have in a president. I know Snow had that intimidation trait in spades."

Peeta expected her to respond to his assessment of the armed men and women working under her, but she completely ignored his comment, and got down to business. "I'm assuming there's a reason for this private meeting Mr. Mellark, so let's get to it."

Peeta took a second to enjoy the fact that he was getting Coin's ire up. "No problem. Got a pen and paper around here somewhere?" Peeta asked, and received, but only after Coin's chest swelled up and her nostrils flared.

"I take it your wife has been speaking to you about her list of demands." Coin handed him a small piece of paper and pen.

"This isn't nearly big enough," Peeta walked over to where she got it from and ripped off a sheet of yellowing paper from a printer of some sort that was at least four times as big as the sheet she had handed him. "Now that's more like it." He picked up the pen and tapped at the table with it. "The way I see it, I've been acting as your Jabberjay, whether I wanted to or not, for a while now, and haven't gotten anything in return but threatened with being brought up on charges of treason, having my room wired with hidden cameras, and my wife and child's lives threatened. So tell me President Coin...if you were me, would you be willing to put on a uniform, plaster on a smile, and play a role for the cameras so freely?"

"I would do what I needed to for the sake of a nation," she said with a threatening gleam in her eyes.

"The sake of a nation?" Peeta tapped the pen against his lip. "Is that what you said when you ordered the doctor to kill my baby? And please don't insult me by denying it. I might have been brainwashed at the Capitol to forget Katniss, but there's one thing I do know, when it comes to our baby, Katniss would never want to have an abortion, and she'd never lie about a miscarriage unless she had to."

For the first time since being accused Coin finally admitted the truth. "I was doing what I thought was best for the..."

"Yes, I know," Peeta interrupted her before she could say, "...for the sake of the nation." He pointed the pen at her. "You use that excuse as much as Snow does. Wasn't the point of this rebellion to prevent children from being murdered...for our nation's sake?" He paused before saying, "So tell me, what makes you so different from him?" He could see her eyes widen with fury. "I'm trying to decide…who's the enemy here? Is it Snow, or is it you?" He flattened his feet on the ground rested his elbows on his knees and said in the most sincere voice he had, "President Coin, I'm asking you to convince me to trust you, because so far you haven't done a damn thing to earn it. Put yourself in my position...in Katniss' position, and ask yourself, would you trust the woman that tried to take our child's life? Isn't that why we're fighting against Snow? To prevent the Games? At least those kids stood a fighting chance, but what chance did our baby have? If it wasn't for a doctor, from the Capitol of all places, our baby would be dead right now. So...convince me. Make me believe that you're the better president. That you're the leader I want to follow." Peeta held out a hand towards a chair. "Let's talk."

It took a few moments for Coin to take a seat, but when she did she gave Peeta a nod and said, "What do you want to know?"

"For starters, I'd like to know your name." He stuck his hand out and said, "I'm Peeta."

If Peeta didn't know any better he would have sworn he saw a hint of a smile cross Coin's face. "Alma," she shook his hand in return, "but I prefer President Coin or ma'am when in public."

"Mind if I call you Alma now?"

"I suppose that would be..." she appeared to have a problem with it.

"We're just talking here, remember?" Peeta said to her.

"Alma would be fine."

"Great. You can call me Peeta." He asked her about the status of the rebellion, how long they had been hiding in Thirteen, why they hadn't tried to fight back before, and most of all why she hadn't tried to pull him and Katniss out of Twelve before the Quell.

"That was a difficult decision for me, Peeta. Allowing you and Katniss to go back into the arena was not an easy choice, but it was necessary to show the people of the country that we were just as powerful as President Snow."

"You mean you were just as powerful as President Snow," Peeta pointed the tip of the pen at her and saw her brow twitch. "Yeah, that's what my mom thought too. Hope you don't mind me saying this, but...that was pretty stupid on your part...and pretty smart," he conceded. "If Katniss and I hadn't gone in, Snow probably would have pulled in a couple of twelve year old kids to fight in our place, and we're both here now so..." he shrugged a shoulder. "Why us? Why Katniss and I as the faces of the rebellion?"

"You're the Star-Crossed-Lovers..."

"I know what the country thinks." Peeta had no desire to hear a line of bull. "I want to know why you wanted us."

"Honestly, I didn't want her at all. I wanted you, but you seem to come as a pair."

"Yeah, we do." He gave her a look of inquisition. "Then why me?"

"Your way with words has the ability to bring about a change, Peeta. It's my belief that your gift could seriously influence this country's way of thinking, including the people of the Capitol. My views on Katniss changed once she was sent to Eight. She proved herself to be quite…worthy of the title Mockingjay, and has been doing a more than satisfactory job since. With the exception of a few emotional outbursts, I've been quite pleased with her performances."

"Her performances?" Peeta asked. "Is that what you think she's doing? Performing?"

"I'm not sure what else to call her televised appearances," Coin had a befuddled expression on her face. "What would you call them?"

Peeta thought of the few propos he saw of Katniss and said, "I'd call them…" he grinned, "…real. I can't imagine for one minute that Katniss was performing when she blew up those hoverplanes in District Eight, and we both know she wasn't acting today."

"Fair enough," Coin conceded.

"One last bit of information, and then I'm done with the inquisition." Peeta paused then asked, "What's your ultimate goal after winning the war?"

Coin gave him a peculiar look. "I'm sorry?"

"What's the goal here? Do you want to end the Games? Do you want to rule the nation? Do you want to let people marry goats? What's your plan?"

"Ah," Coin gave him a slow nod. "There are history books..." she began explaining to him what Plutarch had explained to Katniss about the structure of their future government.

"So ultimately, you want to run the country, and have others helping you in making the decisions?"

"They would give me their opinions, but I would have the final say so, yes." Coin confirmed.

"You'd be the decision maker," Peeta pondered this for a moment. "What if you don't agree with the heads of the other districts?"

"As I said Peeta, the final say, as to what's best for the people of this nation, would be mine." Coin's answer wasn't what Peeta was hoping for. Ideally he would've liked her to say that she'd work with the other heads and find a compromise, enabling the government to work towards a solution that was fair for everyone; instead he got a load of political crap. Now Peeta knew the truth, she might not present herself as harsh and calculating as President Snow, but she'd run the nation the same way, making all the decisions on her own. Surrounding herself with people that were supposed to help run Panem, but did nothing more than put on a good show. "Have I answered all of your questions to your satisfaction, Peeta?"

'I wouldn't say to my satisfaction,' he thought to himself before saying, "Why don't we get to my list of demands, ma'am." Alma was gone as far as Peeta was concerned. It was time to get down to business with President Coin. "First, you will not harm, or attempt to harm, my child or the Valero's child. Oh, and let me be clear here President Coin, if you go back on any of these demands, Katniss and I will both step down as your figureheads. You can try and press charges against me...Effie...any of the prisoners that were held at the Capitol, but after Effie's warning that saved the lives of the people here in Thirteen, and your propos that said, 'Our Jabberjay's silence speaks volumes,' I'm fairly sure no court in their right mind would convict us." He could see Coin beginning to get her hackles up, but continued on with the things that he and Katniss had discussed the night he came to Thirteen. "You will not send Katniss out into any of the districts. As long as I'm able, it will be me going out to film your propos, not my wife. Putting her and our baby in danger is now a thing of the past. You'll allow her to stay in Thirteen as long as she needs to. As far as cameras go, no more filming us without our permission. We find one camera...one microphone...one itsy bitsy transmitter of any sort hidden in order to capture our private moments together, we're done. You can have us three times a week while we're in Thirteen..."

"Three times a week won't be nearly satisfactory," Coin interrupted with a clipped tone.

"Fine, then you can have us...every other day, but that's it. No more."

"Agreed," Coin said between gritted teeth.

"And you only get us from after breakfast until two in the afternoon." He knew she'd never agree to that, but he needed wiggle room.

"That will not work," she shook her head in frustration. "Nine am to Nine pm," she offered.

"Nine am up to Reflection," Peeta countered.

"Done," Coin agreed.

"If you need us to shoot something at night, you're to ask us first, and if we say no, then it's no. If there's a situation like today, then we'll obviously make adjustments for special circumstances, but your camera crews will no longer dictate our lives." Peeta went on and added, "No taking out your anger...frustrations or anything else out on our friends and family. In other words, I don't want to find that Prim has lost her medical privileges because Katniss and I want some semblance of a life." It was something President Snow was quite good at. Exacting revenge, and Peeta needed to make sure she was on board with him. "Understand?" Coin gave him a brusque nod and narrowed her eyes in anger. "And no more schedules tattooed on our arms, because we're not going to follow them anyway." It was one of Katniss' biggest complaints about being in Thirteen, the rigid schedules that left no room for spontaneity. Peeta had yet to experience it since his only job was to get better and film propos, but he was pretty sure once he left the room, Coin would probably have him following the rules the other residents did. "We'll shove our arm in your wall so it can identify us, but we're not going to environmental classes or anything like that. Katniss and I have enough on our plates to worry about. If we have a meeting to attend, that's fine, but we're not going to go to your classes, so stop wasting your precious ink. We also won't be wearing tracking bracelets," he lifted his wrist and shook the thin device that had been slapped on him that morning. You don't need to know where we are twenty-four hours a day."

"That poses a security issue."

He tried to find a compromise. "If we leave the facility, and when we're supposed to be with the camera crews, we'll wear them, other than that…no bracelets."

"I'll have to get back to you on that, Mr. Mellark."

"Why?"

Coin gave him a look of disbelief. "Mr. Mellark, we're talking about the well-being of our Mockingjay and Jabberjay here. I must get with the head of security and work out arrangements."

"President Coin, I thought I made myself crystal clear when I started this conversation…Katniss and I will not be your figureheads until you've agreed to my demands." He quirked a brow at her and questioned her authority, "Now, if the president of Thirteen has to get permission from her head of…"

Coin held up a hand to silence him. "What if I agree that you won't have to wear them on your off time, but you will have to wear them at night? Katniss has a tendency to wander around the facility, and I'd rather she not get into trouble." She smirked at Peeta, "It would be simpler if you could get your wife to show some control and prevent her from breaking every rule we have set in place to safeguard our district."

"You're going to insert a camera crew in the middle of our lives…film almost every move we make …you've already invaded our privacy without our permission, so can you blame her for wanting some time to herself?" This was a sticking point for Peeta. "President Coin, you don't have any victors here in Thirteen other than the ones that came to you from the rebellion, so I can't imagine you'd understand what nights are like for us. To put it mildly, they're…horrifying." Darkness equaled nightmares, but telling someone like Coin that would do no good. Peeta had to find a way to explain why they all had a tendency to roam around their surroundings when nighttime came, and why being continuously monitored caused the hairs on the back of your neck to stand on end. "You want to sleep, but you can't without being plagued with visions of the dead children you've murdered." He watched as Coin's jaw stiffened. "Some of the worst nightmares are the ones in which you're hunted, and you've seen the Games…you know when the Careers liked to hunt."

"I do."

A chill shot down Peeta's spine as images of a dark forest, illuminated by the moon's glow entered his mind, bringing him back temporarily back to the first arena, and the way his skin crawled as he followed the Careers through the woods in search of other tributes. "Now imagine trying to find a place to hide," he brought her on the nerve wracking journey with him, "The only problem is, you can't, because the Capitol is constantly tracking your every move. You try your best to convince yourself that you can find someplace safe to hide, but the cameras are there and the Gamemakers are watching…manipulating the Games until you…the prey….walk right into the path of the hunter." He turned his attention to Coin and saw her tough exterior slightly crack as she gave herself a little shimmy. "No tracking devices, Alma. You're asking us to place our trust in you…that's all we're asking in return."

She begrudgingly conceded to his request. "No tracking devices on your off time, however, you must wear them when you work with Plutarch or his film crew, and always when you leave the security of Thirteen's facility."

With each demand Peeta made, he carefully wrote it out on his piece of paper. "Finally, Katniss and I are going to be going on dates, and I'd like to take her on some picnics by that oak tree we were filming in front of today. I understand that you'll need to post a guard, as a matter of fact, I'd prefer it if we did have a guard with us until I'm comfortable being alone with her. Preferably not Gale Hawthorne however, if we want time alone, I'll expect whoever it is that's with us to respect our request. I'm sure you won't have a problem with our packing a meal to take with us, will you?"

"Now that we know about her pregnancy, Katniss will be provided with a new nutritional allowance. I am aware that expectant mothers aren't always able to eat at scheduled hours." She paused. "I will agree, and will make sure she has increased supplements available in her quarters if she finds herself in need of sustenance at odd hours of the day."

"Thanks." It was more than he asked for. "I'm sure Katniss will appreciate it. I'm assuming Dr. Valero already has those increased supplements available to her too."

Coin's lip twitched. "She will."

"Well, that about does it for me." Peeta sat back in his chair and said, "Do these terms sound fair to you?"

"Not particularly, but do I have a choice?" Coin's nostrils flared.

"Yes, you do. You're more than capable of saying no, and I'll accept that." Coin's only response was a disgusted smirk. "There is one more little thing I'd like to do, ma'am."

Coin glared at him, "What's that?"

Anyone who knew Peeta Mellark prior to his hijacking would never expect him to say what he was about to. "I want to kill Snow."

"You'll have to flip a coin with your wife for that one."

"Since she won't be leaving Thirteen, I don't think that will be a problem." He wrote out the last demand then placed the pen on the piece of paper and said, "Sign it, and we've got a deal. Don't sign it, and I'll let Katniss know that she can step down as the Mockingjay, and I'll be facing charges of treason. I'm sure that will do a world of good for the war effort." Peeta lifted the corner of his mouth in a grin when she picked up the pen and scrawled out her name. "Thank you President Coin. If you'd like to make a copy of this, I'd be happy to wait, but I'll need the original."

She took it from his hand and scanned it into a computer then handed it back to him. "I'll hold a mandatory meeting tomorrow during reflection to announce your official position as the Jabberjay."

"And of course, you'll congratulate Katniss and I on our good fortune…maybe say something about how brave she was to keep the pregnancy a secret so she could take up her position as the Mockingjay…you know…really make her sound courageous, because I think we both know she is, and she deserves some recognition on your part for what you put her through." Peeta had tried to get to know the woman, he gave her a chance, but he could honestly say there were very few redeeming qualities about the prospective new president of Panem. She had admitted to everything Katniss told him about aborting their baby, not once apologizing for her actions, believing she was doing the right thing, never even making an attempt at showing remorse for contemplating such a heinous act. "Hell, you can even say you didn't know she was still pregnant. It should be a nice change of pace for you, not lying about the baby." A sudden surge of anger rushed through him, telling Peeta it was time to vacate the premises, or he'd be brought up on much more serious charges than treason. "If we're all done here, I'll be on my way."

"Wish I could say it was a pleasure, soldier Mellark."

"I'm guessing that's your way of telling me I work for you now," Coin gave him a conniving arch of her brow in answer. "There's just one more thing before we make this official." Peeta leaned his lips close to her ear and whispered so quietly that the security cameras he knew were in the room couldn't pick up what he was saying allowing himself a small amount of pleasure when he said, "Alma, if you even think about hurting Katniss or my daughter again, I'll make your death very slow, very bloody, and very painful." He pulled back, satisfied with the stunned expression on her face. "As I said to Snow, I am a man of my word." He turned on his heels, waved the signed list of demands in the air and left Coin seething in silence. As much as Peeta hated to do it, he had to break his word to Katniss. There was no way he could go to Special Defense now. He barely made it to the elevator before he started pounding his fists against the floor…on the wall… Snow's face was everywhere, and no matter how hard…how many times Peeta smashed his fist into it, the glowing images of his torturer continued to torment him.

…..

…..

…..

…..

…..

"Hey, Haymitch," Gale called to him. "Take a look at this."

The sight of Effie sitting with a sheet wrapped around her shoulders, covering her bodice, with the dead Peacekeeper's head in her lap, broke his heart. Haymitch thought about leaving her to her mourning, but the woman would be pissed as hell if he didn't call her over. "Effie, you need to take a look at this." When she didn't budge he said, "It's Portia."

Every ounce of energy was sapped from Effie's limbs. "Haymitch…" unable to ask for help verbally, she lifted her hand to him, allowing him to guide her towards the rest of the group that had gathered around the computer Plutarch had given her. The sight of President Snow standing in the middle of the stage with the remaining members of Peeta's prep team and Portia in cuffs caused her throat to go dry. "Por…" a breath caught in her chest, her stomach clenched as her legs began to give way.

"Come on sweetheart," Haymitch sat her on the corner of a seat, holding her in place. "If you don't want to watch this, you don't have to."

"No…" her fingertips played nervously across her throat, "…I must see the consequences of my…unreasonable demands."

"What are you talking about?" Haymitch took a crouching position in front of her in order to look her in the eyes. "Effie what demands?"

Tear filled blank eyes stared straight ahead as her hollow Capitol voice spoke, "To rescue me."

"We didn't come here because of that message you sent, Effie. We came here because Katniss and Peeta need you." Haymitch rested his hands on her shoulders. "I need you, so quit taking all the blame for the things Snow's done."

Effie gave her head a tiny nod and faced the screen. "Could you turn it up please?"

"...Mason, Annie Cresta, and Effie Trinket's escape," Snow motioned for a group of Peacekeepers to make their way on stage behind the prisoners. His beady little eyes narrowed dangerously at the camera, he nodded at the first Peacekeeper and Apria, the female member of Peeta's prep team began to scream. The scream barely escaped from her as the Peacekeeper drew his knife across her throat leaving a gaping, dark red slash for all to see. The people of the Capitol were no strangers to death, they thrived on the gore of the Games, but these people on stage weren't tributes, they were some of their own. "Our very own residents...people who were supposed to represent this great nation with pride, have turned their back on their government and joined forces with the rebels," Snow spoke to his people. "Ask yourselves, do you know your neighbors as well as you think you do? How many of you have seen these rebels walking amongst the streets, at parties...socializing without a care in the world? All the while they were gathering information for the rebellion...feeding it to the insects that threaten to infest our great society, and now we must rid ourselves of these vermin." Snow paced in front of Horton, Peeta's male prep team member and gave the Peacekeeper a nod. "This is how we, at the Capitol, crush pests such as yourselves." The Peacekeeper began to punch Horton with metal studded gloves, pounding at his face until it was nothing more than a bloody pulp of flesh. "Finish him," Snow ordered, and the guard pulled out a gun, putting a bullet between Horton's eyes. Snow walked around Portia in an almost tantalizing manner. "And you...Portia. Once beloved stylist. Your designs caused quite the stir here at the Capitol." Snow snapped his head around towards the camera. "How many of you in the Capitol have worn those fiery displays of a Mockingjay and Jabberjay in support of the rebel's cause?"

"Thousands!" Portia yelled out receiving a brutal whack in the stomach.

"Your death will be my favorite," Snow sneered at her. "However, I am not as barbaric as those that are currently threatening our peaceful civilization, so… I am willing to offer you one last opportunity to make amends. Confess publicly, your rebellious sins…inform us of their plans, and I shall make your death swift."

Portia was breathing heavily; obviously trying to catch her breath from the Peacekeeper's punch, lifted her chin high and spoke. "I will confess," she said, sounding winded from the Peacekeeper's punch. "What President Snow said is true. I am a rebel...and..." her eyes glistened into the camera lens, "...damn proud of it! Freedom's in flight! Freedom's in..." the barrel of a gun was placed against Portia's temple and the trigger pulled. Her bloody spray stained his white suit, matching gloves and dripped off of his face. "As you can see Peeta, I too am a man of my word. Her death was swift, was it not?" Snow dangled the gun he used to shoot Portia from his fingertip; a Peacekeeper quickly took the weapon and tucked it into his belt. A fresh linen handkerchief was dabbed at the bits of flesh that had blown back against his face, smearing it across his skin and Snow shook his head back and forth as though he were very disappointed. "This isn't what I wanted," he gestured towards the three dead bodies that lay at his feet, puddles of dark red blood slowly pooled together. "This was the price you rebels paid for breaking into the Capitol to free treasonous prisoners." His fingers curled into a ball, his voice harsh. "There are people in this country that do not understand how important our way of life is. There are rules that must be followed in order to safeguard our nation, and these rebels ignore them as if they do not mean a thing…as though they have absolutely no value for human life. Look around," Snow's tone changed to a more reasonable one. "Is this the life you want? I am speaking to you Katniss….Peeta. You speak of the possibility of your daughter entering the arena. What about the children in the districts that are dying right now because of the war you have started? Think very carefully Mr. Mellark...Miss. Everdeen...is this the future you want for your child? A world where no life is sacred? We must put our differences to rest. Turn yourselves in, and stop the unnecessary slaughter of the innocent," Snow gave his head a tiny nod and the television screen showed horrific images of dead children lying next to the wreckage of a school, another that showed a little girl clasping at an adult's hand, crying at the top of her lungs. The camera panned out to show the hand the child held onto was nothing more than a limb, the person it had belonged to was gone. The final picture was of a mother nursing her infant. The woman wore a light gray nightgown, had long dark hair pulled over one shoulder and a bullet hole in the center of her forehead. The baby's clouded eyes were lifeless, its tiny hands still formed in the shape of a ball, pressing against its mother's breast, as though it died while feeding. The nation's seal filled the screen ending the broadcast which went immediately to news coverage of the shortages in the Capitol.

"I wonder if Katniss and Peeta saw that." Gale asked Haymitch who had wandered closer to the computer screen in order to get a better view.

Haymitch made a little clucking noise with his tongue against the roof of his mouth. "Who knows? Probably not Peeta, can't imagine seeing something like that would help his whole, flashback thing."

"Flashback?" Gale asked.

"Eh…that's what Beetee calls it when Peeta flies off the handle. Something about each episode bringing him back to the moments when they tortured him," Haymitch gave his head a little shake. "Damn shame."

"God, he keeps reliving his torture?" Gale huffed. "And Katniss wonders why I hate those Capitol snobs…" he stopped himself from talking when he saw the expression on Haymitch's face. "I'm not saying they're all like that," Gale attempted to cover. "I didn't mean anything by that Eff…Effie?" He began quickly scanning the craft for the woman that had been there only a few minutes before.

"Effie?" Haymitch looked around and saw her. The sheet she had draped over her was in a pool between him and the spot where Effie sat with Steven's head cradled in her arms. "Come on sweetheart," Haymitch attempted to lift her off the floor of the hovercraft where she sat frantically rocking back and forth. "Trinkie," he sat behind her and wrapped his arms around her trying to hold her still, instead he wound up matching her rhythm. "Effie?" She was staring into space, her eyes blank. "Hey, Justus, I think you need to take a look at her. Something's not right here." Haymitch waved a hand in front of her face. "Effie. Damn it Effie answer me!" He screamed as he shook her by the upper arms.

"Is she in shock?" Gale crouched down next to Haymitch as Justus began digging through a first aid kit. He snapped his fingers in front of her eyes and said, "Effie? Hey, Effie!" Gale turned towards Haymitch and said, "She's out of it."

Justus made motion for them to remove Steven from her arms, but the moment they did she let out a loud, high pitched wail, and didn't stop until they released the Peacekeeper's body.

"Geez," Haymitch ran his hand over his face. "Johanna, what the hell happened to her in there?" He waited for an answer, and got none. Johanna had fallen into a deep sleep, and Annie had been given a sedative in order to stop her from crying. "Shit! SHIT!" Haymitch shook Effie again, "Come on, Trinkie, don't flake on me." Justus tapped his fingers against the outside of a syringe, and then plunged it into Effie's arm. It took only a few seconds for her eyes to close and her body to fall into Haymitch's arms. "Christ sake, Effie," he pressed his lips against her forehead; "Whatcha gotta go and freak out on me for?"

The moment Effie was knocked out Justus and Gale lifted Steven's body and placed it out of sight. "Think she went into shock?" Gale asked. Justus shrugged and simultaneously nodded. It was times like these that Gale wished he had paid attention in those sign language classes he was forced to take. "So you think it's more than just shock?" Justus nodded, and began moving his hands. About the only thing Gale understood was the sign for danger, so he simply nodded his head, with a dumbfounded look on his face, and stayed quiet as Haymitch, read the computer screen Justus typed his suspicions on.

"What do you mean post-traumatic stress? From what!? Effie's seen worse than this before!" Haymitch couldn't believe what was going on. He had finally gotten Effie back and it was like she had checked out. The lights were on and no one was home. He read over the notes Justus typed out for him, wanting more of an explanation, and getting none. He'd have to wait until Effie woke up to see how she was doing, and if Justus was right, then Haymitch would have an even longer wait until they got to Thirteen and a doctor examined her. Considering they were taking a roundabout way of getting there, the trip that would normally take about three and a half hours was now going to take twice as long, plus that burst of energy they used up escaping the Capitol hovercrafts meant that they had to travel at a slower pace. Haymitch kept himself busy, stripping Effie of what little clothes she had on, making sure to keep her naked body hidden from the others on the hovercraft, wondering if she would be mortified if she knew he had seen her in a less than composed state of attire. He carefully cleaned each of the wounds she had on her body wanting an explanation…revenge for each and every one of them, applied medicated balm…secured bandages, then wrapped her back up in one of the sheets Lavinia had gotten from the medical supplies. He couldn't stop thinking about how different Effie was now compared to the woman he had met over a decade earlier. She didn't even bat an eye when she ripped her shirt off to staunch the flow of Steven's blood today, but over ten years ago, Effie Trinket wouldn't have taken one of her precious white gloves off in public.

"Must you really consume alcohol with breakfast Mr. Abernathy?" Effie tugged on the hem of her white lace gloves and sipped at her tea with a pinky sticking up in the air. "Perhaps you'd like a cup of tea, or coffee?" Haymitch hated the way she spoke. She couldn't just say coffee. It was coffeeeee with the accent on the eeeee. As far as he was concerned, listening to her speak was the equivalent of nails on a chalkboard. "I'd be happy to pour you a cup," Effie snapped her fingers in the air for an attendant to perform the action.

"Thought you said, you'd pour me a cup," Haymitch checked her out through bloodshot eyes. He mimicked her snapping motion, making it overly dramatic, and said, "If that's your way of getting things done sweetheart, I'd hate to see how you please a man."

"Why I never!" Effie flustered, her gloved fingers flew to her high collared neck.

"Maybe that's your problem," Haymitch gave her a lecherously playful look, licked his lips, quite disgustingly, and said; "maybe you should try it. Might loosen your tight ass up a bit." He sat back in his chair and started picking the raisins out of the slice of toast on his plate. "Though, I'll say it again...you do have a sweet, sweeeeet ass." He could see Effie bristling from the corner of his eye, her powdery white face turning beet red beneath the layers of makeup, the bumble bees at the end of her false eyelashes flittering up and down at a rapid rate.

"Mr. Abernathy," Effie started.

"Why don't we cut the formalities, you can call me Haymitch, sweetheart, and I'll call you..."

"I have already told you once; you can call me Miss. Trinket!"

"Trinket...Effie...Trinket...Effie..." Haymitch began moving his hands like a scale trying to weigh out which name he preferred. "Hmmm..." His brows shot up, "I've got it! Trinkie."

"Don't you dare!"

"What's wrong Trinkie? Don't like your name?" Normally these rides to the Capitol on the Tribute Train were depressing as sin, but Haymitch had to admit he was enjoying himself with the new escort.

"I most certainly do not!" Effie's jaw tightened. "You," she pointed a finger at him. "You need to learn some manners, Mr. Abernathy."

"Haymitch," he corrected. "And you need to let loose a little. All that uppity, self-righteous...Capitol crap..." he pointed the tip of his knife at her before buttering the raisin free bread, "...that's not good for you. You're gonna get an ulcer."

"The only thing that will give me an ulcer is you," Effie pursed her lips, threw her napkin on her plate and made to leave.

"Hey, where ya going?" Haymitch didn't want the woman to leave. If she did then he'd be stuck with his thoughts until his tributes showed up, and that would be even worse.

"Did you honestly think I'd eat breakfast with the likes of you after the way you've spoken to me?" Effie gave off the impression of standing tall, but Haymitch could tell if she took off those six inch spikes she was wearing, she'd barely reach his shoulder. "I am going to wake our..."

"Wait," he just wasn't ready to send the newest set of kids off to their deaths yet. "Let 'em sleep a little longer. They had a helluva day yesterday."

Effie puckered her lips as though she had just tasted something sour, looked out the window at the passing foliage, and said, "Ten minutes, then I must wake them so they can eat before they get to the Remake Center. We don't want them going hungry before meeting their stylists."

"Yeah...right," Haymitch mumbled and thought maybe he should've let her leave after all. She was a little too excited about the prospect of the Games, but they all were. All those Capitol snobs got their rocks off watching kids die. "Sit down," he practically ordered her. "Tell me why you're here." Effie arched a bleached brow in his direction, lifted his thin tomato juice, and took a whiff. "What the hell are you doin'?"

Effie placed the glass back down and said, "I was wondering what it was you were drinking that caused you to forget why I am on a Tribute Train. Fortunately for me, I did not smell anything other than tomato juice, which, I must say, came as quite a shock to me. Why, I almost passed out from sheer amazement."

Haymitch let out a belly laugh so loud Effie actually cracked a smile. "Holy shit, you've actually got a sense of humor."

"Mr. Abernathy."

"Haymitch," he corrected again.

"I tell you what, I will be happy to call you...Haymitch, if you could please refrain from using such barbaric language in my presence." Effie tilted her chin to the side. "Do we have a deal?"

Haymitch gave it some thought, he could torment the woman, but he was pretty sure his presence alone would do that, and she really wasn't that bad looking...she did make him laugh...her nagging left much to be desired, but he could always lock himself in his room if she got on his nerves..., "Deal," he stuck his hand out to shake on it.

"Haymitch!" Effie's lips tightened when she saw the wad of butter he had smeared on her gloves.

"Whoops," he smirked.

"Now what am I going to do? These are the only pair of gloves that match this outfit!" She spoke as though she were the one being thrown into the arena in less than a week.

"So take 'em off. Who gives a shit...damn...crap?" He smiled, quite pleased with himself for covering so quickly.

"Are you completely insane?" Her voice aghast. "I couldn't dream...my goodness..."

"What the hell's the problem here?"

"Do you have any idea how many hands I have to shake today? Why...going without gloves...perhaps you can get away with that sort of thing in District Twelve, but in the Capitol, we have something called manners."

Haymitch let out a burst of laughter. "You mean to tell me, you can't shake people's hands without wearing gloves? What are you a...germaphobe or..." he lifted his knife in the air when he realized what the other reason might be, "...or is letting your skin come in contact with another man's too provocative a thing for a lady such as yourself?"

"Why!" Effie slammed her palms on the table. "You are a despicable pig! Nothing more than a...vile little man!"

"Get used to it sweetheart."

"DO NOT CALL ME SWEETHEART!" Effie yelled out so loud the attendants turned to see what was happening.

"No problem." Haymitch waited until she was almost out of the train car before calling out, "See ya later...TRINKIE!" He lifted his feet onto the seat next to him, crossed them at the ankles and thought, 'Yup, this is gonna be fun.'

The cold from the hovercraft's floor seeped through the uniform Haymitch was wearing. The need to keep Effie safe and warm consumed him as he lifted her sheet covered body off of the floor and cradled her in his arms. He'd have given anything in the world to have his prissy little nag back, to hear her call him her vile little man once more, but something inside of him said she was gone, severely damaged by the events that occurred while she was playing her part as a rebel spy. That Steven Tanner and Portia's deaths were going to weigh heavily on her heart for quite some time. Haymitch pressed his lips firmly against Effie's forehead and choked out, "I came back for ya, Trinkie. Just like I promised. Now ya gotta come back to me." He clutched her limp body to his chest, swearing that he'd never leave her side again.

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They had spent the majority of the day in Special Weaponry throwing knives, taking aim at targets with the weapons that Beetee had created for them, trying their best to avoid looking at the ticking clock. Every time the door opened and someone entered the area, Katniss and Finnick exchanged looks, their expressions getting more and more worn as the day progressed.

"Thought Peeta would be down here for sure," Finnick said offhandedly.

"He's meeting with Coin." Katniss left it at that, not wanting to expound any further. 'Where the hell is he?' She wondered with each passing hour that went by. They ate the lunch that had been brought to them in silence, Finnick concerned for Annie's safety, Katniss worried about...everything, but Peeta's absence was at the forefront of her mind. 'If he's not back in an hour I'm going to look for him,' she told herself, yet three hours later she stood in front of a target with her bow and arrow in hand taking shots that would be considered simple on any given day of the week, but that day hitting the target dead center was becoming a challenge. The dinner hour was drawing near when Katniss pushed herself off of the bench in the Meadowlark room and said, "I'm going to look for Peeta."

"I'll come with you," Finnick stood, but was stopped.

"No," her hand pressed against his chest to sit him back down. "He and I have some things to talk over, and we can't do that if we've got company."

"You want me to wait here by myself?" Finnick's expression was like that of a little boy being abandoned.

"I won't be long, Finnick," she made her excuses. "An hour...maybe less."

His dejected, "Sure...okay," made her feel like a pile of crap for leaving him behind.

"Okay, what if you took one section of Thirteen and I took another? We could meet up back here in...forty five minutes?" Katniss hoped this would be satisfactory, plus the extra set of eyes wouldn't hurt.

"Sounds good," Finnick got to his feet thrilled with the idea of something purposeful to do. "Where should I start? The hospital?"

"Hospital?" Katniss headed towards the door then paused. There was only one reason she could think of that Peeta wouldn't show up, and that's if he had another relapse. "My God," she turned her worry gaze to Finnick. "You think something's wrong?"

Finnick followed her as she started running out of the department. "I don't know. I just figured...he's living there, right?"

"Beetee?" Katniss asked the first person she saw.

"He was called to medical late this morning," a passing worker told her.

The pumping of her legs as she ran caused a slight stitch in her side. Katniss clutched at her lower abdomen unknowingly. "Slow down, Katniss," Finnick called to her. "If he's there, he's not going anywhere."

It made sense, but that didn't make a bit of difference. Katniss told herself that if something was seriously wrong with Peeta, her mother, Prim...Regina...someone would have found her, told her about it, but why would they? With their spotty history it was possible her family still thought that Peeta wanted nothing to do with her, and they were playing a role for the cameras today. She tried not to think the worst of him…that maybe he was playing a role earlier and found she didn't really care. Imagining the worst, that Peeta had another violent episode…that maybe he attacked Coin, was shot and killed, or maybe the effects of the hijacking had finally killed him, were the only things that mattered. She practically collapsed when she reached the hospital room she had woken up in, finding it empty. "Where is he?"

"Don't know," Finnick looked down the hall. "Let's go that way. There are lights on."

The group of people gathered around the window outside of a hospital room stopped Katniss dead in her tracks. "What's wrong with him?" She asked from her frozen position afraid to look through the glass for fear of what could be on the other side.

"Katniss," Prim reached a hand out and pulled her closer. "About time you got here," her sister's tone was scolding.

"Prim, where is he?" She urged her rapidly beating heart to slow down for fear that her bracelet would go off.

"Right behind you," the sound of Peeta's voice had Katniss turning towards him.

"Oh my God," Katniss moved out of instinct and hugged him. "I waited for you, but you never…and I got so mad…and we threw knives, but I didn't picture your face…then…" Katniss could hear herself rambling on and on like a fool yet she couldn't seem to stop, "…I was going to look, then Finnick said hospital…I didn't think…I should have…"

"Hey," Peeta buried his nose in the hair above her ear taking in her scent. "Calm down. You're here now."

"Yeah," she pulled away from him. "Are you okay?"

He lifted his bandaged right hand; his left was cuffed to a wheelchair. "You should see the other guy." Katniss' brows shot up. "I'm just kidding Katniss."

"He's doing much better now if you'd like to join us?" Beetee asked from his spot next to Prim.

"Sure," Katniss followed a group into the room leaving Finnick behind with a couple of nurses to occupy his time. "What happened?"

"Seems Peeta had another flashback earlier." Katniss hated the term Beetee had come up with to describe the violent outbursts Peeta had been having. Every time he said the word it seemed to reinforce the unending hold Snow had on Peeta. "Fortunately the only thing to sustain some damage, other than Peeta of course was the elevator's control panel." Beetee gave Peeta's shoulder a pat. "You can put your worries to rest, Peeta. It's been fixed."

'Yeah, because a control panel is what we're concerned about,' Katniss rolled her eyes and clutched her arms over her chest. "So what happened to his hand? Is it broken?"

"Just a few cuts and some bruising."

"It'll teach me to take on a steel box," Peeta chided Beetee as he was unlocked from the wheelchair and latched onto the bed.

"Do you have to keep him chained up?" Katniss asked with a furrowed brow. "He seems fine now."

"I asked them to keep me handcuffed for the time being," Peeta gave her a pathetic grin. "Makes me feel a little more comfortable when people are around."

"Okay," Katniss gave him a tiny nod.

"Why don't we talk about Peeta's treatments?" Beetee took a seat. "We've been using morphling as a means to curb your temper, and though it has been quite successful, it will not counteract the effects of the tracker jacker venom."

"What you're saying is there are no treatments for this. You've said it already…told us this over and over again. Why can't you people just get to the damn point? Peeta's going to be..."

Katniss began going on a minor rampage until she felt his eyes on her, and her father in law's quiet voice interrupted her. "That's enough, Katniss." Katniss scowled, not too pleased with being talked to like a toddler.

"You should be sitting down," Prim pulled up a chair for her sister, "and you shouldn't be getting worked up."

"I'm not sure this is the place for a child," Plutarch glanced down at Prim. "Perhaps you should leave the room while we discuss..."

"I wouldn't try it," Prim snapped before any of her family members could come to her defense. "You even attempt to remove me, I'll walk straight into surgery and tell my mother about this, and she doesn't look too kindly on Gamemakers trying to run my brother and sister's lives, especially when they're doing such a poor job of it, so I'd keep your objections to yourself."

"Young lady," Plutarch started, but it was Prim that finished the conversation.

"Funny how you thought I was old enough to have my name pulled out of a reaping ball, but don't think I should be here for this discussion," she tapped her foot on the floor and crossed her arms over her chest mirroring her sister's image.

Beetee cleared his throat after a few seconds of Prim's condemning stare. "As I was saying, the morphling alone is not going to be enough to counteract the tracker jacker venom, so yes Katniss...for the time being, Peeta will be left with the residual effects of his torture."

The room held a somber tone. "At least they didn't get you too, Katniss. I don't even want to imagine what this would have done to you in your condition," Peeta lifted his wounded hand to Katniss' arm and let it trail downward.

"Oh my gosh," Prim's face lit up. "That's it, Peeta. Katniss is the answer." She turned to her sister and said, "You and the baby are going to put an end to Peeta's flashbacks."

The entire room faced Prim. "What are you thinking young lady?" Plutarch asked.

"You people," she pointed at the Gamemaker, "tried to pit Katniss and Peeta against each other in the arena with a gas form of the venom, but she wasn't bothered by it at all."

"It stunk to high hell," Katniss remarked.

"Beetee, you said the proteins in Katniss' system probably had a lot to do with it, what if we were to take samples from her...make an antidote based on that?" Prim's doe eyes were full of hope as they waited for the man to answer.

"Yes...yes, I see what you're saying, Prim. Excellent idea. We've already identified the Capitol's failed attempt at an antidote, but that doesn't mean we can't create one of our own." Beetee's finger flew up in the air, the chair he was sitting on rolled backwards as he made his way out of the room. "We'll need to access Katniss' medical files…see her…" he turned to Prim, "Are you coming?"

"Yeah." She glared up at Plutarch and said, "Or are you afraid the science labs aren't a place for a child?"

Bing let out a little snort of air. "Come on, Primrose. I'll go with you." He gave Peeta and Katniss a quick farewell.

"That sister of yours is quite..." Plutarch searched for the appropriate word, "...spirited."

"Thanks," Katniss could have punched the former Head Gamemaker for the way he treated Prim.

"Takes after Katniss," Peeta said with pride. The quirk at Katniss' lips hinting at a smile told him he had said the right thing. "Plutarch, if you don't mind, I'd like to be alone with Katniss now."

"Oh, yes. I should probably check on Finnick anyway."

Katniss waited until they were alone before complaining to Peeta, "Why is it he could stay in the room, but Prim couldn't? Sometimes the way these people think really throws me for a loop."

"I don't think he'll be making the mistake of asking Prim to leave anytime soon." Peeta rested his head against the pillow. "Sorry I didn't come straight downstairs after my meeting with Coin. I barely got out of there without losing it completely."

"She has that same effect on me," Katniss pulled her chair up to the side of his bed. "We don't have to talk about this now if you don't want to." They still hadn't discussed the incident with the interview, and right now, Katniss didn't think Peeta was up to it. "As a matter of fact...we don't have to talk about anything if you don't want to. We can just...sit."

Peeta let his head roll towards her. "Good. Right now the only thing on my mind is that damn rescue mission." He scooted to the side of his bed and lifted his blanket in invitation to her.

She didn't think twice about climbing next to him, resting her head against his chest and letting the sound of his beating heart ease her fears. Hours ticked away in silence. Neither of them brought up their disagreement, his meeting with Coin or the fact that this was the first time he held her in his arms since the night he came to Thirteen. "They've been gone for a long time."

"Fifteen hours," she lifted her worried eyes to his. "Peeta, what if they didn't get out?"

"They got out." He rubbed his cheek against the top of her head.

"But what if..."

The door flew open, Finnick stood on the other side of it. "They're back! They're back!"

"Where are they?" Peeta made an attempt at sitting up only to have his cuffed hand yank on the metal bed frame as Katniss' feet hit the floor.

"On their way to the hospital." Finnick pushed Peeta's bed down the hall, past the guard that was now a permanent fixture wherever Peeta went, and towards the large waiting area. "They should be here any seco..."

"FINNICK! FINNICK!"

"ANNIE!" Katniss and Peeta watched as the pair ran straight into each other's arms, flattening themselves up against a wall. The sheet of material covering Annie clenched in her fist between their bodies. The sound of happiness through tears filled the hallway, causing Katniss' stomach to clench.

"Katniss?" a soft voice spoke to her from a hospital bed, blue eyes pierced hers.

"Yeah," guilt seeped through her for the way she talked to him earlier.

"Sorry I didn't tell you about Plutarch's earpiece."

She leaned over him and pushed a piece of hair away from his eyes. "I know."

"Look at them," Peeta let his focus drift back towards Annie and Finnick. "I'm almost jealous of them."

Anyone that looked at the pair would never question their love for each other, unlike Katniss and Peeta. "Me too."

"Johanna," Peeta saw her limp, battered body being wheeled towards them. "Is she alive?" He panicked when no one answered him right away. "Is she alive!?"

"Yes," Boggs answered as he walked down the hall. "Effie's on her way in now."

Katniss stood, gripping the edge of Peeta's bed expecting to hear the clicking of her escort's heels, her puffy golden wig, but the sight that greeted her was far from a proper Capitol escort. Snow white skin was covered in various shades of black and purple bruises, cuts that had scabbed over, some fresh, were slashed across her dainty flesh. Black puffy circles, a combination of lack of sleep and old makeup formed half-moons under her eyes, at the back of her head a matted tuft of blond hair. "Effie!" Katniss gripped Peeta's cuffed hand in hers and squeezed.

"Out of the way!" Haymitch called out. "Move!"

"What...what's wrong with her?" Peeta's voice was trembling. "Effie!? Eff...MOM!" He screamed at the top of his lungs as Haymitch ran behind the medical team pushing her bed.

"He's okay," Katniss said more to herself than Peeta. "He's okay."

"Who is?" Peeta saw Gale making long strides towards them. His breathing began to grow out of control at Katniss' response to seeing him. "Guard!" The call was only made once as they were standing within a few yards of Peeta. "Take me to Effie Trinket please." He threw a condemning look in Katniss' direction, "You two can stay here and get reacquainted. I'm going to check on Effie and Johanna."

"Peeta," Katniss' head snapped in the direction he was being wheeled in. She was torn, desperately wanting to follow Peeta to find out what was wrong with Effie, but she had to make sure Gale was okay. She moved swiftly in the opposite direction of Peeta towards Gale, "Are you alright?"

"Yeah," he grinned at her. "Was a close call, but we got most of them out alive."

"I have to go," Katniss gave him a quick hug and kiss on the cheek. "I'm sorry Gale; I need to find out about Effie."

"Go ahead," he called to her. "I'll check on Johanna and catch up with you."

"Thanks," she yelled back over her shoulder as she made her way towards the loud trauma room where Effie had been taken. The nagging headache that had been plaguing her since she woke up that morning never quite went away. It had started as a dull ache then gradually got worse as the day went on. When a sharp pain shot through Katniss' eyes, like someone had taken an ice pick to her temples, her pace slowed down until she stopped completely, resting against a wall. 'Something's wrong,' she knew it in her very core. "Something is very wrong," the corridor began to close in on her just as the alarm on her wrist went off.

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"What's wrong with her?" The head of Peeta's bed had been lifted allowing him to take up a sitting position.

"I don't know, boy," Haymitch's pained expression came through in his voice. "She was fine...talking...fighting," he let out a little sniff, "you shoulda seen her out there. She was shooting at Snow's army like...like it was her name that had been put in a reaping bowl for the past couple of decades." He looked to Peeta, "Wouldn't leave the damn Capitol unless we took that Peacekeeper with us."

"Mr. Tanner?"

"Yeah," Haymitch answered Peeta's question.

"Where is he?"

There was regret in Haymitch' tone when he said, "Died on board the craft. Between that and Portia...I think it was just too much for Effie to take."

"Portia?" A tingling sensation stabbed through Peeta's fingertips from pressing his wrist into the handcuff, stopping his circulation. "What happened to her?"

"Take it you didn't see Snow's broadcast?" Peeta shook his head no. "She's gone boy. He killed her and your prep team on the air in retaliation for breaking the rest of them out."

Peeta let his head fall back against the mattress. "Sorry, Cinna," he whispered, remembering how much the man had sacrificed to keep Portia alive.

"Geez," Haymitch exclaimed. "What the hell is it with you two?"

"Who?" Peeta was taken aback by Haymitch's outburst.

"You and Effie. Ya gotta take the blame for everything that happens in this war? It's a freaking war! People die!" Haymitch threw up his hands. "You two need to knock this shit off. This shit didn't start until she started blaming herself for..." he ran a hand down his red face, "...Geez...come on Trinkie." Haymitch pressed the palms of his hands against the cold glass that separated them from Effie. "Wake up...say something."

"She's going to be all right, Haymitch." Peeta placed his bandaged hand on his mentor's arm. "This is Effie we're talking about."

"Yeah...sure kid," he looked down at the white gauze. "What the hell happened to you?"

"Got into a fight with an elevator." Peeta ducked his head down.

"Taking on heavy machinery instead of old boyfriends now?" Haymitch gave him a cocky grin and noticed Peeta's grimace. "Come on, you're not still harping on about that shit are you? I told you kid," he pointed a finger at Peeta, "there was never anything going on between those two. You really want to screw your life up? Keep making accusations about Ga..."

"PEETA!"

"Speak of the devil," Haymitch murmured under his breath then gave Peeta a warning. "Be nice, kid. He helped save Effie."

"Something's wrong," Peeta sat upright when he saw Gale sprinting towards them. "Katniss should be with him." Peeta looked past Gale for her and saw no one. "Take these cuffs off," his voice started shaking when he addressed his guard. "Hurry!"

"PEETA! COME QUICK!" Gale screamed from twenty to thirty yards away.

"Hurry up!" Peeta yelled at the guard who was fumbling with the key. "Let's go," he waved the guy on as he caught up to Gale. "Where's Katniss?"

"You've got to hurry. She's in with one of the doctors, but they don't know what to do...they need authorization for something, and I tried to tell them to save her, but...I'm not related to her, and her mom's in surgery with Johanna. Your dad went to get Prim, but I knew you were closer," Gale sounded winded as he rattled on. His feet pounding at the hard hospital floor. "Peeta, they think she's still pregnant."

"That's because she is," he said to a surprised Gale. "What happened to her?"

"I don't know. Finnick and Annie saw her collapse."

The rapid pace of his heart matched his racing feet. "Katniss," Peeta busted through the hospital door into her room. "Oh geez...Katniss," he kept swallowing over and over again. "What's happening? What's wrong with her?"

"Your wife's blood pressure is skyrocketing, and we can bring it down, but the medication we'd use may cause severe damage to your child."

"Explain, severe damage," Peeta tried to keep his eyes focused on the doctor and not Katniss with tubes sticking out of her arms, an oxygen mask pulled over her nose and mouth.

"It can range from...minor issues to more severe..."

"Don't give me your bullshit answers!" Peeta snapped and the doctor took a step back. "What are we talking about here!? Death? Brain damage? Birth defects?"

The doctor blew out a tiny breath and said, "Well...yes. All three are possible."

"And you mean to say there's nothing you can do to help her without hurting the baby?" Peeta didn't believe it for a second. "Where's Regina?"

"I'm afraid Dr. Valero is in surgery right now and is unable to..."

"Is she able to consult from surgery?" Peeta interrupted the doctor.

"Dr. Valero will tell you the same thing I..."

He cut him off again, "That's not what I asked! I asked if she can consult from surgery," Peeta snapped.

"Mr. Mellark, we're wasting precious time. The longer your wife's pressure is up, the more chance she has of stroking out."

"You mean...she can have a stroke?" Gale asked in disbelief. "That's ridiculous. She's too young for that."

"Not when her pressure is up so high." The doctor faced Peeta. "We need an answer Mr. Mellark. Do we treat your wife or don't we?"

"I...I don't know," Peeta's mouth was getting dry. His head felt like it was spinning out of control. A week, they had been together for a week, and Peeta was still at a loss when it came to this woman everyone called his wife.

"Give her the drugs," Gale said with certainty.

"Is that what we should do, Mr. Mellark?" The doctor waited for confirmation.

"I..." he glanced at Gale who gave him a nod, "...guess."

"Guessing will not do. We need a yes or a no."

"Then...um..." An image of Katniss jumping into an ocean as the golden Cornucopia was being invaded by Careers entered Peeta's mind. "No." He lifted his eyes to the doctor. "No. Don't put anything in her system that Dr. Valero, Katniss' mother or Prim hasn't approved."

"Peeta," Gale gasped, "what the hell are you doing? She could die."

"Gale, what do you think will happen if she wakes up and finds out the baby died? You think she'll want to live? Because I don't." Peeta said harshly. "Katniss would rather risk her life than hurt the baby. This is my wife. My family and I think Katniss would want you to wait." Peeta walked to the edge of her hospital bed, willing her to wake up. "My suggestion would be for you to send someone to the operating room to talk to Regina. In the meantime, we'll wait for Prim to show up. She might know about a natural remedy that you doctors don't."

"Mr. Mellark..."

The lecturing tone in the doctor's voice had Peeta barking, "I told you what we're going to do. Now do it." He waited until the physician ordered a nurse to go to surgery then asked Gale to tag along. "Not that I don't trust them, but..." Peeta spoke softly to Gale, "...I don't trust them." He didn't really trust Gale either, but Katniss did, and that's all that mattered.

There were a lot of questions written all over Gale's face, but he didn't argue. He simply followed Peeta's request, "I'll let you know what the doctor says."

Peeta's security detail was standing just outside the door; a doctor was explaining everything to Plutarch in the waiting area while a nurse monitored Katniss and the baby's vital signs. "Your daughter's heart rate has been holding strong since we administered the last dosage of blood pressure medication," the nurse spoke quietly to Peeta.

"Was it safe to use?"

"Yes," she adjusted something on the machine the tubes were hooked up to.

"Then why is he talking about drugs that will cause harm to the baby?" Peeta moved closer to the nurse, who lifted her eyes towards the door to make sure no one was listening. "Mr. Mellark, she has another option. The drugs that were given won't work as quickly which puts your wife in danger of having a stroke, but her pressure is dropping at a slow and steady rate," the nurse whispered.

Peeta glared out the window where the physician stood with Plutarch. "This medicine they wanted to give to her, could it have caused a miscarriage?"

"Yes," the nurse answered quietly. "Good thing her friend was here with her and stopped the doctors from administering anymore medication considering you don't want treatment for her. Personally, I think you made the right call, but please don't tell them I said that," the slight tremor in her voice left Peeta wondering what was going on in the hospital of Thirteen, and if Coin was still trying to put an end to the pregnancy.

He lifted Katniss' hand to his lips, placed a kiss on her knuckles and said, "Don't worry. I won't let anyone hurt banana nut…or you." Peeta watched for almost an hour through the glass window as Evelyn was joined by his father and Prim. He had no idea if his mother in law was yelling at the doctor, but from the expression on her face, Peeta knew where Katniss got her temper. It came as a surprise to him to see the woman, who was normally so mild mannered, up in arms. "Your mom's got this covered, Katniss," he leaned his head close to hers. "You never told me that's where you got your feistiness from."

"That's because I never knew," Katniss' eyes drifted open. "Hey," she whispered.

"Hey," he placed a kiss against the back of her hand. "You gave us a scare there."

"Is the baby okay?"

"Maysilee is fine," he turned his chair to face her. "How are you?"

"My head is throbbing," she lifted her fingers to her temple. "It's been bothering me all day."

"That's from your blood pressure," the nurse spoke to them as she removed the oxygen mask from Katniss and replaced it with a pair of tiny tubes up her nostrils. "Headaches are a telling sign as well as swelling of the feet and hands…" the nurse began rattling off different symptoms, and telling Katniss that she'd probably be admitted into the hospital until the situation was resolved. "I'll leave you two to talk before that group comes in here," her eyes flashed out the window.

Katniss let out a soft sigh, "How's Effie?"

"Don't know," Peeta noticed her flinch when he ran the back of her hand against his cheek. "I shouldn't be doing that, right? You're mad at me," his depressed tone might as well have asked if she thought this was his fault. "Katniss, I'm not sure if we should talk now or wait…or…"

"Just answer one question for me," she held his gaze. "How much of that interview was an act?"

"None of it," he answered honestly.

"Then why did Plutarch feed you information?"

"Because he wanted to make sure I didn't tell the nation about my memory loss." He rested his elbows against his knees. "Before we went on air he handed me the earpiece and told me to put it in. When I asked him why, he told me he wanted to make sure I didn't say anything on air that would be considered treasonous again." He gave his shoulder a shrug. "I figured…better safe than sorry, right? Just as you began your story, Plutarch started rambling in my ear about how I should reassure the nation…tell them how much I love you…prove I'm devoted to you…but then I heard you talking about the elevator in Twelve, and I remembered holding your hand in there," he softly grinned. "How the palms of your hands…the tips of your fingers were a little calloused, but the tops…your wrist…your skin was so soft. You were so nervous while we were in there…I was petrified…" a tender smile blossomed across his face.

"You…remembered all of that?" A hint of surprise in her voice.

"Yeah, came as a shock to me too, so when you finished talking I pretty much ignored Plutarch's orders and did what felt right, plus…I wasn't crazy about the thought of lying to the country about something like this. Just didn't seem like the right thing to do."

"So what did he say after that?"

"Once I let it out that I didn't remember marrying you, he started making suggestions to me about things to say to you." Peeta gave her a sheepish look, "He asked me if I had discovered anything about you since coming to Thirteen…what they were…"

Katniss gave her head a tilt, "That's why you said those things to me, about the way I smelled…my temper?"

"He asked what qualities I liked in you, and I answered." Peeta looked down at the ground. "I should have figured out what to say on my own, like you did."

She curled a section of his hair around the tip of her finger. "Truthfully, it was your, 'real or not real,' question that gave me the idea of what to talk about today, otherwise I would've just answered Cressida's questions. Like you answered Plutarch's." She gave his sleeve a little tug. "Look at me." He slowly lifted his concerned blue gaze to her reassuring silver eyes. "How did the date come up?"

"Plutarch said, 'wouldn't it be lovely if you asked her on a date,' and…I want you to know I had already made the decision to do that while you were still telling your story, but I didn't want to do it on camera, and with everything that was going on today…guess I didn't think it was a good time, but then Plutarch made the suggestion and I thought, why not take a chance? Maybe it wasn't…no," he took responsibility for what he did, "It definitely wasn't fair to put you on the spot like that. Somewhere in the back of my mind I thought maybe you'd turn me down, and if I asked you while we were on air, you wouldn't say no." He paused for a second then said, "I'm sorry I took advantage of the situation…of you."

Her normally unreadable face turned soft. "Don't do it again, okay."

"Okay." They held each other's gazes. "Know what I keep thinking about?" He asked.

"What?"

"Finnick and Annie. Seeing the two of them today…all I kept thinking was how lucky they were…are." He looked over his shoulder towards the group of people that was gradually thinning out then back at Katniss. "Today has been one of the worst days of my life."

"Peeta, we were in the Games. You were tortured by Snow for weeks. What can be worse than that?"

"The thought of losing you…the baby. It scared the hell out of me. I'm still scared."

"Me too," Katniss admitted.

"When I came in here and saw you lying there, all I could think of was how much we've missed out on…how much of our life together had been wiped away. Then I think about those two running into each other's arms…" He let out a frustrated sigh. "I'm not jealous of Finnick and Annie, but I am…envious."

"It's understandable. You want your life back." Katniss stared up at the ceiling. "I do too. I just don't know how to go about doing it."

"Katniss? Did you mean it when you said we were over?" Peeta had been worried about it since she had said it.

"I tried to mean it," she said with sorrow in her voice. "Then you didn't show up in Special Weaponry, and I knew something had happened to you...and our fight didn't seem to matter anymore."

"We can't keep doing this, Katniss. Going back and forth like this is hurting you and Maysilee. We've got to…"

"Peeta," she interrupted him. "That's the second time now you've used the baby's name," a tender smile lifted at the corner of her lips.

He let out a little laugh. "Gosh, I didn't even…" he smiled at her. "I remembered her name."

"That's a good thing, don't you think?"

He nodded. "Yeah. A really good thing."

"I've got an idea," she adjusted herself in the bed. "What do you say we try something new?"

"New?" A little twinkle sparkled in his eyes. "What do you have in mind?"

"We keep trying to go back to being husband and wife…dating," hope gleamed across her face. "What do you say we start at the very beginning?"

"Isn't that what the dates are for?"

"Sure, but what if we don't go into the dates with the expectation of rediscovering a husband…a wife. What if we simply go into them looking for a friend?"

"You want to be my…friend? Like…Gale is your friend?" He narrowed his stare.

"No…well…yes, but not like the friendship I have with Gale. I'm talking about the friendship I had with you." He couldn't seem to pull his gaze away from her or the sheer glow that shimmered in her eyes. "It dawned on me that the thing I missed more than anything between you and I was our friendship. You were my best friend Peeta. I confided in you…told you things I never told anyone else, including Gale, which pissed him off." She let out a little chuckle. "I finally realized today that the reason Gale has been so jealous of you was because I shared more with you than I ever did with him, and the reason you used to be so jealous of him?" her brow arched. "Because you thought he knew more about me than you did. Can I just take this opportunity to say…boys suck?"

Peeta let out a laugh. "Noted."

"Good."

The tip of his tongue darted out, moistening his dry lips. "Friends, huh?"

"It's how we started off. We didn't just hop into a boyfriend/girlfriend thing. Hell, it took you a week to hold my hand again after that first day in the elevator, and our first hug didn't happen until weeks after that. Of course that was kind of a combination…hug…kiss thing."

"It took me weeks to kiss you?" That didn't sound like him. He remembered a couple of the other girls he had kissed, and he didn't wait weeks to do it.

"Actually, our first real kiss didn't happen for…wow," Katniss stopped to think. "Peeta, we must've been dating for almost six months before I kissed you on reaping day."

"Wait a minute!" His brows shot up. "You kissed me?"

"Yes," she said proudly. "I was the first to hug you too."

"Okay…can you explain this whole…hug/kiss thing we did?" His curiosity had been peaked.

"I can, but I think we should wait a while."

"Why?" He was disappointed.

"Because they're coming in to talk to us." About three seconds later her room door opened, and their family walked in sans the doctor that was covering for Regina.

Peeta let Prim take his seat, rested against the counter with his father, and took notice of Gale standing outside, waiting patiently. "Mom, before you get into this, give me a second." Peeta knocked on the window and motioned for Gale to come in. "I'm assuming this is okay with you, Katniss."

"It's fine," she mouthed, "thank you," at Peeta then gave Gale a smile. "Guess you know I'm still pregnant," she said across a crowded room to him.

"When Snow mentioned your daughter on television today, I just figured he didn't know you had a miscarriage. It didn't faze me that he never called your baby a boy." Gale took a step closer to her. "You could have told me, Catnip. I would've kept your secret."

"No, I couldn't. I'm sorry; Gale, but I just couldn't take the chance."

Gale gave his head a little shake, "Anemia. Who came up with that?" He gave Prim a teasing stare. "As if I have to ask."

"Brilliance runs in our family," Prim said proudly.

Each of them took time to worry, to let the situation eat away at them, but ultimately more tests would need to be run, and everyone agreed they should wait for Dr. Valero to get out of surgery to run them. Though everyone wondered why the physician wanted to give Katniss a medication that could harm the baby, neither Peeta nor Katniss voiced their suspicions. Peeta thought about the meeting he had with Coin earlier in the day, and the threat he made towards her, and wondered if this was her way of sending him some sort of message that she was ultimately in charge and could kill his daughter, making it seem like an accident. Katniss wondered if Coin was still trying to get the most out of her Mockingjay, but couldn't because she was still pregnant. It had been a long day, and it would be an even longer night waiting for the arrival of Regina. Though they didn't say it, both Katniss and Peeta knew, they'd be facing the fear of losing their child together that night.

It was almost midnight when everyone left her room, her mother being the last. "Thanks mom. Goodnight," Katniss lifted her fingers in a small wave. "MOM!" She called as the door closed, and perked up when her mother peeked her head back in. "I forgot to ask, can I get something to eat? I'm starving. I passed out before I could eat any dinner."

Peeta let out a tiny laugh as his mother in law rolled her eyes at Katniss and smiled, but his good humor slowly turned into silent torment. He rested his head on the edge of Katniss' bed and let the tears drip onto her bed. "Katniss don't scare me like that again." He knew she had said they'd start off as friends, but at that moment, all he wanted to do was grab hold of her and kiss her.

"Shh," she ran a hand over the back of his downy curls. "Things will get better, Peeta. Just wait and see."

…..

…..

…..

…..

…..

Waiting for a diagnosis was driving Katniss and Peeta insane. It had been two days since she collapsed and they were still no closer to an answer than that very first night, but the expression on Regina's face when she entered that night told the expectant parents that she had finally found the source of Katniss' high blood pressure. "Believe it or not, you're having an allergic reaction to the fetus," Regina explained to them. "It's not very common, but it does happen."

"What do you mean; I'm having an allergic reaction?" Katniss' confusion was evident in her befuddled expression.

"Exactly that. You know how some people are allergic to…let's say, bee stings?" Katniss and Peeta both nodded. "You're allergic to the fetus, Katniss."

It had come as a shock to both of them to hear this, but Regina assured them that she'd be able to treat Katniss now that she knew the source of her ailment. The only problem was, Katniss wasn't responding to anything Regina tried, and staying in bed seemed to make her even worse, so Regina allowed Katniss limited mobility. Each day she was allowed to be wheeled into Effie's room for an hour long visit, and each afternoon she was brought outside to sit next to the oak tree and share a picnic with Peeta, where they started building their friendship from the ground up. Every day brought new challenges, Peeta's flashbacks being a major one, but once Beetee, Prim and the scientists of Thirteen developed, what they believed was an antidote, or as close to one as they'd get, things started to look a little brighter.

Peeta's first dose of medication wasn't planned, but when he had a flashback during training in Special Weaponry, Dr. Valero and Beetee agreed it was time to test it out on their subject. Within a few minutes of administering the drug to him, Peeta's anger had dissipated, and he felt almost normal. It was considered a great success. Everyone had been pleased with the outcome of the medication with the exception of Peeta.

"Guess I was hoping for some sort of miracle cure," he admitted to Katniss during their date that day under the oak tree. "Like, I'd finally get this drug they created, and…" he let his head sink down.

"Would it be horrible if I said, I'm almost glad it didn't restore all of your memories?" Katniss stared straight ahead waiting for him to say something. When he didn't she faced him and saw the pained expression plaguing his face. "I'm not saying I'm glad you get flashbacks or anything like that, I'm talking about the you and me part of it."

"You're going to have to explain that one to me, Katniss."

"For the past week we've been coming out here, learning things about each other…"

"You mean I've been learning about us," He corrected her.

"No, I mean…we've been learning about each other." She sat with her back against the tree, and her knees bent. "In all the time I've known you, you've barely told me a thing about your brothers, and this past week that's all you've talked about." Katniss grinned. "I like getting to know them."

"I only wish you had the chance when they were alive," Peeta said regretfully.

"That's the thing," she turned her body towards him, "I did have the chance, but I let my hate for your mother stand in my way of getting to know them…of you getting to spend time with them." She felt horrible about that. "Makes me wish I could…"

"Stop right there," Peeta lifted a finger to cover her lips. "I'm so sick of us saying, 'I wish,' or, 'what if,' 'if only I had…' I'm sick of it, Katniss, and I'm one of the worst offenders. I say shi…crap like that so often, they've become vocabulary staples."

Katniss let out a chuckle. "Peeta, you might not think those shots are working, but they are."

"How do you know they are?" He wondered how they had gotten off topic so quickly.

"Because you stopped yourself from saying shit," Katniss rested her head against his shoulder. "Is this okay?"

"Yeah," he said about her new sitting position, enjoying how they were slowly becoming comfortable with one another again. "What's the big deal about me stopping myself from swearing?"

"Maybe you haven't noticed, but you've been saying things like bullshit, damn it, bitch, whore…" She lifted her eyes to his, "…need me to go on?"

"No," he said behind a blush.

"The guy I knew rarely said things like that. In fact the only time I ever heard you say something, other than damn or hell, was when you were baking or painting after you injured your hand. You'd get so pissed off if you dropped something that you'd let out a string of curse words that would make Haymitch blush."

"Well that's good to know," he said with a chuckle. "Can't say that I've been too proud of some of the words that have come out of me as of late."

"Well, that's all going to change pretty soon," Katniss attempted to sound encouraging, not her strong suit. "You'll get better before you know it."

"And if I don't?"

She lifted her eyes to his and said, "Then we learn to live with it, and we'll make a bunch of new memories so you won't have to remember."

Peeta wrapped both arms around her and gave her a squeeze. "Thanks, Katniss."

"For what?"

He rested his head against hers and said, "For being my friend."

The time they spent together was no longer filled with the pressure of expectation, but the thrill of anticipation. Peeta found himself truly enjoying his newfound friendship with Katniss, and Katniss found that she was falling in love with a whole new side of Peeta. The camera crew filmed them every other day as promised, and somehow Plutarch and his team were able to piece together propos that made them look and sound like their bond had never been broken. Admittedly, Finnick had also been the star of many propos. Now that Annie was back, he was able to concentrate on the rebellion and was ready, willing and able to help in any way he could. Both Katniss and Peeta were grateful considering they were still battling Katniss' adverse reaction to carrying their daughter, and they were now down to the last option Regina had proposed to them, other than keeping Katniss in bed for the remainder of her pregnancy.

The blank sketchpad sat on Peeta's thighs, its off white pages begging for hints of color to be added. His guard was posted outside of his hospital room door preventing him from leaving the room and going next door in the wee hours of the morning to visit Katniss regardless of how much he wanted to.

Things had been progressing nicely between them. Fighting had become a thing of the past. Neither one of them wanted to get her blood pressure up, and the special diet she had been put on, though Katniss thought it was bland, seemed to be helping her. She was now in her second trimester of the pregnancy, almost fifteen weeks along, but the baby still wasn't out of the woods, and Katniss wasn't sure if she'd survive till her due date that winter.

The scraping sound of metal against metal had Peeta's eyes peeling around the room, asking himself if this was real or not. "Geez! Katniss," he whispered loudly when he saw her familiar bare feet sticking out of the vent, climbing their way down his hospital wall. "What the hell are you doing?" He rushed to her aid and guided her down to the steel table below.

"Hey," she flashed him a hint of a smile from atop the table. "Think you can bring that chair over here so I can climb down?"

"For Christ sake," he grumbled as he took her in his arms and carried her across his room. "You're going to catch a cold if you walk around this place with no slippers on." He sat her on the edge of his bed. "What the hell are you thinking climbing through that thing in your condition?"

"I needed to talk to you, and your guard wouldn't let me in," she said quietly not wanting to be discovered.

"And it couldn't wait till morning?" He took up a spot next to her.

"Not really." Her hand automatically reached for his, a habit they had picked up again over the past couple of weeks. "Peeta, I know we said we'd be friends, but…" her insides were quaking, "…I really need my husband tonight."

She didn't have to say why. He already knew. "Banana nut?"

"Yeah," she sniffed, trying her best not to cry.

"It's funny, I've been sitting here thinking, I really need to face this with my wife." Their eyes met and Katniss' shoulders began to quake. "Oh, Katniss," he pulled her into his arms. "Don't worry. Everything will be fine."

"How Peeta? How will this be fine?" She wasn't arguing with him, she was desperate to have him ease her greatest fears. "I'm allergic to my own baby."

"Regina's pretty confident that this next treatment will work." Peeta didn't bother saying that the doctor was pretty confident that all of the prior ones would work too, Katniss already knew.

"She said it may help." Katniss wrapped her arms around his neck and cried into his shoulder. "Peeta, what are we going to do if I don't respond to it? What's going to happen if…if…God, Peeta, if I lose this baby because of my own body chemistry…" sounds of her tears grew louder, and Peeta worried that someone may come in and make Katniss leave.

The rules that had been instituted were simple. They could spend time together during the day as long as there was a guard present, but once it was time for bed, Katniss had to keep her distance. Peeta's violent outbursts could flare up at any given time, but nighttime was always the worst. He had absolutely no control over himself once darkness consumed his hospital room. Once there were only nightmares to worry about, now Peeta's nightmares carried over into his waking hours. Katniss had no idea that Peeta was the one that had instituted the rule, but she didn't need to know. Peeta was terrified that if she found out, she'd try to talk him into bending them, and that was something he couldn't afford to do. If for some reason he lashed out in his sleep, he could seriously injure Katniss and their baby, so he chose to keep her at arm's length during their sleeping hours. If it had been any other night, Peeta probably would have made her leave, but tonight he just didn't have it in him to be so cruel. He wondered what he would do to help her through this if he had never been hijacked. 'You're not going to help her with I wishes and what if's,' he thought to himself. 'Do something now to help her. Be her husband, if only for tonight.' He brushed his thumbs underneath her bloodshot eyes to wipe away the tears and lifted her off the bed, carrying her to the bathroom.

"What are you doing?" She asked when he turned the shower on.

"The only thing I can think of," he pulled the t-shirt he was wearing over his head and tossed it onto the floor, "we're going to talk this out like we did when we were Mr. and Mrs. Mellark, and you said we always started with a shower, so…" he gave his shoulder a little shrug. "What do you say?"

"I'm not wearing a bra."

"Neither am I," tiny bursts of laughter echoed through the restroom at statement. "Promise I won't look."

"I don't have my shampoo." She unbuttoned the top button of his oversized pajama shirt which came down to her thighs.

"That's okay, I have it." Peeta wanted to smile when he noticed that she had chosen the matching shirt to the pants he was wearing for bed that night.

"You do?" She turned her back to him and covered her bare chest with her arm.

"They brought all my stuff from my last hospital room in here, and your shampoo was in the bathroom." Peeta didn't want to admit it to her, but he had spent many a night sniffing at the bottle remembering that very first night he had come to Thirteen. He tossed his pants on top of his discarded shirt, leaving his boxers on. "I'll go in first, so I can face away from you, okay?"

"Okay," Katniss had no clue where the feelings of shyness were coming from, but they were there and almost as prominent as their wedding night. "Are you in?"

"Yeah," he sputtered when some water shot in his face. "These things stay on all the time in the hospital, right?"

"The showers? Yeah," Katniss stepped in and turned her back to his. "Okay." She threw her hair over her shoulders and let it cascade down her spine.

"Take a couple of steps backwards," he directed her until the water drenched her hair. "It's longer," he said absently.

"What is?"

"Your hair. It's grown a lot in the past few months." He poured out a blob of shampoo onto his hand and began massaging it into her scalp.

"How do you know? You don't remember me…remember?" She let out a small giggle.

"It's funny how I can recall certain things, like…" he smiled to himself, "…your freckles, the sound of your laugh, how you like your hair braided, but I couldn't tell you what your favorite color was if my life depended on it."

"Green. Mine's green and yours is orange." Katniss let her hands drop to her sides and enjoyed the feeling of his fingers running through her hair. "Mmmm, that feels so good. It's so relaxing."

"Yeah?" Peeta felt a tiny surge of pride shoot through him knowing he had the ability to bring her comfort when she really needed it. "You should try my back massages some time. Now those are really something to talk about," he joked, then blushed when he heard her comment.

"Oh, I've had the full body massage, and I must say…all those years of kneading dough have certainly paid off, Mellark."

They didn't spend too much time in the shower, just enough for Peeta to wash her hair, and Katniss to wash his. They dried off facing away from each other, though Katniss did sneak a peek in the mirror at one point, and almost let out a groan when she realized how much she missed being married. She pulled on a pair of Peeta's pajama pants and pulled the drawstring as tight as she could, but she was still swimming in them. When they climbed into bed together, the pants fell to her feet causing a nervous bout of laughter to come from both of them.

"Want me to try and find a hospital gown?" Peeta asked. "I'm sure there's one in here somewhere." She'd still be practically nude, but the gown would cover much more of her than his pajama shirt.

"No," she tugged the pants back up and gripped them at the waist while taking a spot next to him on the small hospital bed. "These will be fine, and if I get tangled up in them, I'll just take them off." She didn't have to look to know that he was blushing. She rolled onto her side to face him, a flood of memories swept through her as they took up their familiar pose. Their torsos were touching, but her chest was pulled away from his, and their legs were sticking straight out.

"This is kind of awkward, isn't it?"

"A little," the heat from his breath warmed her chilly cheeks.

"We don't have to do this if you don't want to Katniss." The last thing he wanted was for her to feel uncomfortable with him, or think that he was trying to force her into anything.

"No. I want to," her silver eyes glowed in the dark. "I just know you're probably not comfortable with me being in bed with you so…" she turned her face into the pillow trying her best to keep her heart steady.

"I'm comfortable. Maybe a little too much," he admitted. Holding her in his arms, having her face less than an inch away from his and the scent of her hair ignited his senses.

"Peeta," she forgot about their compromising position and spilled out her fears. "I'm so scared."

"Me too," he ran his hand down the back of her damp head.

"If this doesn't work tomorrow…there's nothing more the doctors can do."

"You can do something though," he reminded her. "Stay on bed rest and take care of yourself. Take care of our banana nut."

Katniss wrapped her arm around his neck, turned her face into his, and brushed the tip of her nose against his smooth cheek. "If that's what it takes, I'll do it. I won't like it, but I'll do it."

The thudding of his heart reverberated through his ears. "Sometimes I wonder what this world expects from us…why the universe keeps throwing us curveballs." He tucked his leg between hers, and felt her knee rub against his hip. "I watch some of these people around here, in the dining hall, and see them sitting round a dinner table, sharing their nightly meal, and I know that when they're through, they'll take their kids up to their quarters, bathe them…tuck them in for the night. I wonder, do they sing them a lullaby…read to them…tell their children stories of faraway lands and mystery." He released a warm breath against her ear. "And I wonder if they know how lucky they are to be able to live such a mundane…normal life."

"The only good thing about being in the hospital for me is not having to eat in the dining hall. I hate all of those people," Katniss told him. "I honestly can't stand them, and they've done nothing to me…" she admitted something to him she was certain he had already figured out, "…I just don't like…people."

"Sure you do," he ran a hand over her back.

"No, Peeta," she lifted her face a bit, her fingers dug into his arms, accentuating her point. "I think most people suck."

"Some do, but not all, Katniss," he said with a troubled expression. "You and I have met some really good people in the worst places. People that are willing…have already, given up their lives for you and me."

"I told you…" she tucked her head under his chin, "…most people suck. There are exceptions, but they're a rarity."

Peeta studied the darkness, thinking about the friends he had made, the impact people from the Capitol of all places, had made on his life. "I believe," his voice was tranquil and melodic, "that the majority of people in this world have decent souls. That we all share a commonality called kindness…compassion only…we live in a world where showing that side of you is considered a weakness." He met her inquisitive gaze, stroked her cheek with the palm of his hand then cradled it. "When you live in a world that demands everything from you, and gives you nothing in return, you have no choice but to build up a wall of defense in order to protect yourself…to protect the ones you love. You can't blame people for living that way, but you can blame those that take advantage of the situation." The image of a Peacekeeper entered his mind. "I remember one night…must've been a couple of months after we started dating…it was one of those bitter cold evenings where the wind smacked you in the face the second you stepped outside and took your breath away. My dad was getting rid of the trash, we had a big delivery that morning and needed to rip down the boxes, and I decided to give him a hand." Peeta could almost see the dumpster that they piled the larger trash items into sitting against the stone wall by the back of their bakery…feel the cold biting into his flesh…smell the snow that had covered District Twelve like a white fluffy blanket. "One of the boxes got caught up in the wind, so I chased after it, and it smacked into the leg of Harmony Mulligan. I remember looking up at her when I reached for the piece of cardboard and thinking, why is Harmony standing in the middle of town when all the businesses were closed for the day," he swallowed the huge lump in his throat. "That's when I saw them…the girls. They were all gathered around the outside of the Head's door. Some had coats on, but most of them were wearing scraps of thin material, clutching it to their chest, trying to prevent the cold from tearing through their flesh, and all of them were waiting to see if they'd be Cray's chosen one for the night." The sight of teenage girls to grown women had been nothing new to Peeta. Everyone knew what the Head Peacekeeper did around there, but no one ever said a thing. "When I saw Harmony standing there like a sheep waiting to be slaughtered, my heart broke." The memory brought a sharp pain to his chests. "I just looked into her eyes and I could see her fear…her shame. What kind of man would prey on someone so innocent?" He said more to himself than Katniss. "That's when Cray opened the door and all these women…girls," his voice cracked when he said it, "who had been slouching…huddling together to keep warm, stood upright…like they were on display in one of our bakery cases." The same feeling of anger he had when Cray eyed him up, simmered in the bowels of Peeta's belly. "Cray noticed me standing there and said, 'I don't like boys son,' then laughed it off like he had made the funniest joke in the world, but me…I couldn't move. Cray starts yelling at me, telling me to shoo…go back to the bakery before he called for reinforcements, and that's when my dad showed up. He put his hands on my shoulder and said, 'Sorry sir. The boy and his classmate here were just trying to catch some trash that blew into your front yard.' Then my dad took Harmony by the wrist and whispered to her, 'Just walk away.'" Tears started to drip down Peeta's cheeks. "You know what he did Katniss?" She shook her head back and forth. "He brought her into the bakery and said, 'You need food, money or both?' and Harmony was shaking like a leaf, she probably didn't know what to expect. My dad…he bagged up three loaves of bread, took a huge hunk of dough he had in our cooler and said to her, 'Keep that cold...at least overnight…it's good for up to a week. All you have to do is take a little ball of it, roll it up and let it get bigger…about a half hour or so, then bake it for ten minutes. You'll have fresh rolls all week if you're careful with it.' Then he pulled out what little coins he had in his pocket and pressed them into her palm, threw his jacket over her shoulders and told me to walk her straight home. I knew it was so Cray wouldn't stop her…the way he was licking his lips when he looked at her standing next to me turned my stomach." He remembered the path he had taken through the Seam back home, and from nowhere he could see her…Katniss. Peeta's throat felt like it was closing up on him as he sniffed. "I could see you and Prim in your bedroom…framed in the window like a work of art. I just looked up at the two of you and I swear Katniss, I almost cried. That could have been you out there...Prim..." The same sickening feeling bubbled in his belly. "I just kept thinking how cruel Cray was…how he deserved a taste of his own medicine, but then you turned and looked out the window…right down at me," Peeta wiped a finger under his nose to stop it from running. "You held up a finger, like you wanted me to stay there…"

Katniss remembered that night. "I wondered what you were doing looking up at me. I thought maybe your mom had hurt you."

"No," Peeta placed a kiss against her forehead. "When you came out of your house a few minutes later carrying a small bag of trash, I knew you had made an excuse so you could come out to see me."

"You felt like ice when I hugged you." She could almost see his bright red nose and the flakes of snow that had landed in his hair.

"You felt like a warm bath on a snowy evening," he trailed his lips over her forehead. "I hated Cray more than I've ever hated anyone in my life that night, but then my dad helped Harmony and all that hate melted away. My dad, he taught me that anyone could make a difference in someone's life, just by showing kindness." Peeta heard a tiny sniffle come from Katniss and looked down at her. "You okay?"

"No," she clung to him with both hands, pulling him as close to her as possible. "Peeta…I'm not a nice person."

"Oh, Katniss…" his consoling tone tried to reassure her, "…don't say that about yourself."

"I'm not" she insisted. "I would have never done anything like your dad did. I probably would've thought, how the Capitol should be burned to the ground for putting a girl that young in such a position, but I wouldn't have stopped to help her."

"You weren't in a position to. My dad was."

"You're wrong, Peeta. I could always have shot an extra squirrel or two, but if I gave it to one…" Katniss hated herself for her way of thinking back then.

"You'd give the shirt off your back to someone in need Katniss."

"How do you know that?" She pushed against his chest with both palms. "You don't remember me."

She had made an excellent point. "Maybe I don't remember most of our time together, but that doesn't mean I don't know you…know who you are now." He cupped her cheeks, brushed the pads of his thumbs beneath her eyes and said, "I know you," so softly the whisper of his breath gently fluttered against her skin. "I've seen the way you stand up for people…like Octavia. She may have been from the Capitol, but out here…she's lost, and you help her all the time. You're stuck in a hospital, yet you still make sure you go to Effie's room every day and try and help her get past the things that put her in such a state. The Capitol…they're your enemy, yet when you saw the diagram for the bombs that Gale and Beetee had been working on yesterday you questioned them about it. Why Katniss? Why?"

"Because…" she had barely even given it another thought after leaving Special Weaponry the day before. She was only there so Beetee could do a quick scan of her body for some adjustments he was making to her uniform, but when she walked in, she saw him and Gale hovered over some crude sketches of a bomb that, once it went off, would take out small prey. When others went in to help the wounded, the larger bomb…the one that was filled with something Katniss had yet to figure out, went off taking out the major targets. "What they're designing doesn't seem…it's cruel. Like they're crossing some sort of moral line."

"My point exactly." He gave her a reassuring smile. "Those people are supposed to be your enemies, yet you'd rather they not die such a horrific death. What did you do when you saw the pieces of paper they had thrown onto the ground?" He didn't wait for her to answer. "You gathered a few of them up for me so I could try to piece it together and see what they were up to, and now we have an idea of it, don't we?"

"Yeah," she nodded, still somewhat taken aback by Gale's response when she questioned the bomb's design.

"Don't you think this is a bit…too much?"

"I'm not doing anything Snow didn't do when he hijacked Peeta, or tortured Johanna…killed Portia," how did she argue with Gale's reasoning when it made so much sense? Still, it bothered her that killing the innocent came so easily for him.

"Yes," Beetee stated with a look in his eyes that reminded Katniss of the boy she saw in the arena during his Games when he watched the Careers squirming on the ground from the electrical trap he had set for them. "He's thinking like his enemy, and preying on his weaknesses," he gave Gale a rap on the shoulder as though he were a chip off the old block.

"You may not believe this Katniss, but I'm very well aware of who you are…of how you act towards people, and…" he grinned a little, "…I like it. The way I see it, you say what most people are afraid to, and I find that kind of truthfulness refreshing."

It always amazed her that he saw her bad attitude as an attribute. "You weren't saying that when you first got here," she said timidly, afraid that maybe he was being polite to her and saying what she wanted to hear.

"When I first got here I didn't know you, but I think we've come a long way this past month or so, don't you?"

She nodded, "Yeah." The heat of his breath when he spoke caused a rash of goose pimples to break out across her skin.

Two sets of eyes met as hearts stirred. They had spent weeks getting to know each other again…forming a friendship that had always been the base of their relationship. Both petrified to risk jumping back into love, afraid to trust the unseen emotion that could bring them to their knees or send their hearts soaring up to the sky. The space between them closed. His fingers trailed a path up her arm, his arm wrapped around her back. Her fingers played with the ends of his hair, her nose brushed back and forth against his. Their slightly parted lips began brushing against the other's cheek…chin…

There's a big difference between want and need. As much as Peeta wanted to kiss her, he needed something more from her. "Katniss," he choked out, "I can't do this."

"Why not?" She whispered into his ear and placed a soft kiss against his cheek. "Don't you want to kiss me, Peeta?" Her voice screamed of desperation. She could feel his heart drumming…hear his loud gulp. "I know I'm not perfect, Peeta…I complain all the time. I'm mean, but…" she couldn't seem to steady the trembling in her voice, "…Peeta, I lo…"

"Don't," he put his finger over her mouth. "I know what you want to say to me, and Katniss I don't want you to."

"Why?" She cried.

"You love the man you married, and I'm not that man anymore." An uncontrollable churning started in his gut. "I want to kiss you, but I can't. Not yet." He pressed his forehead against hers and tried to get her to understand where he was coming from. "I know we said we'd be husband and wife for tonight, but once I kiss you…I'm never going to want to go back to being your friend. I'm going to want so much more from you, and I need to know that when you kiss me back…you're kissing me, not the idea of the guy you married. That you're going to accept me for who I am now, not who I used to be and I don't think you can honestly say that's who you want to kiss right now."

Her bottom lip began to quiver from his realization. "You're not that different," she tried to reason.

"Aren't I?" he tilted his head to the side in question. "Can you honestly tell me that you're in bed with the same guy you said, I do, to?" Her eyes flashed away for a second. "The last time I kissed you, I let myself get carried away in the moment, and I can't make that same mistake, Katniss." She gave him a slow and careful nod. He hated to suggest it, but he really had no choice. "It's late," he whispered against her cheek. "You should probably head back to your room."

Disappointment lingered in her spirit. It was her own fault for trying to rush things with him when he clearly hadn't been ready to move onto the next level, but that didn't mean his turning her away didn't hurt. Katniss threw her legs over the side of the bed, held onto the oversized pajama pants so they wouldn't fall around her feet, and quietly said, "Thanks for tonight. I feel a lot better than I did when I came in here."

Peeta didn't believe it for a minute. "Katniss…" he sat up as she shuffled dejectedly towards the door. "Our next kiss…that's going to be the one that really counts." He took a careful step towards her. "The one that says, I want more. I'm willing to take a chance…" he continued when she looked back over her shoulder towards him, "I'm willing to be big enough to say, I'm able to forgive and forget…to not place blame…to overlook the little things and see the bigger picture, and not because we're having a baby, but because we…you and me…" he closed the gap between them, "…we're not afraid anymore." He looked deeply into her eyes, and tried to tell her where he was at that moment, and where he needed her to be, "That kiss…that's going to be the one that wipes away the pain and makes a promise for an unknown future."

"No," she gave him a delayed response to his question. "You're not the same…neither am I, so I guess...guess you're going to have to accept me for who I am now too." She inhaled through her nose, taking in his clean scent from his spot less than a yard away. "But you're wrong about one thing," she lifted her eyes to his, "I know you too, Peeta. Know who you were…who you are now, and even if I didn't know you before…I'd still feel this way. Not just because we said we'd pretend to be husband and wife for a night either, but because…" She remembered a moment of their life that had changed everything for her and turned the tables on Peeta. She held her hand out to him and said, "…I don't want to be just your friend anymore, Peeta." Utter surprise filled his eyes as they zipped back and forth between her gaze and her open palm. Katniss stood there waiting...waiting..."I promise I won't mention marriage unless you ask me to propose," she sucked in a breath and allowed the tears to pool in her eyes.

"I said that to you. Real or…" he swallowed the huge lump that had formed in his throat, "…or not real?"

"Real," she said between trembling lips.

His hand shot past hers, wrapped around the back of her neck, and pulled her lips to his. This is what he had been waiting for…acceptance. Not having to be something he wasn't…afraid of saying something wrong…swearing too much or not enough…flying off the handle…doing something stupid…something he would have never done in his previous life, and being forgiven without having to go through hell to get to that point.

The feeling of his hands clasping her cheeks, his mouth pressed against hers was like that first breath of air after being submerged under water. Life had been breathed back into her. Katniss' fingers dug into his shoulder blades, clutching him to her. "Peeta…Peeta," she peppered his face with kisses then met his waiting lips again.

He pulled slightly away from her and glanced at the bed. "Stay with me?"

There was absolutely no question in her mind. "Always."