Arc Two, Chapter Two
Before Shizuo came back from work, Izaya went shopping. Luckily the store was across the street, so he couldn't have gotten lost. A couple days passed and as Shizuo told Izaya, he'd take him to see his flat. They got onto the train as soon as they woke up and ate breakfast. The blonde stood up and Izaya sat down, his hazel eyes looking down at the other man. "You like the fatty tuna, don't you? You went through that stuff I brought back just a couple of days. Maybe Simon can teach you how to make it, it'll give you something to do, instead of sitting around the apartment, waiting for me."
"I could live off of the food. I'd like Simon to teach me but it seems like he doesn't like me very much." Izaya scratched his cheek. Even on the train, people stayed away from him. It was really starting to bother him why he didn't know. He could handle people hating him, that wasn't the issue. All he had to do was look in their general direction and they adverted their eyes.
"Nah, Simon likes you well enough. He's always making sure that we eat together and telling us that eating sushi will make us happy and make our problems go away." Their stop arrived, and Izaya skipped off the subway. "So where to, Shizu-chan?" He felt silly asking for directions to his own loft. The blonde sighed heavily and followed behind Izaya.
"Yeah, come on," he told him and started to lead the way. The two continued to walk into town, slowly going into the nicer part of town with all the nice apartments. From what he remembered, Izaya owned a nice loft with a view of the whole town. He pushed the button to the elevator which lead them to the top.
Izaya turned his key into the slot and opened the door to his large flat. "Oh wow! I have a beautiful home." He declared, proudly. He wished he could remember buying it, and looking for flats to buy. He missed remembering simple information. "Is anyone home?" He sang.
"School is still going on," he reminded him. "Your sisters won't be home until a couple more hours and Namie won't be here, you gave her time off. You've had this place ever since you moved out. So, I would say about…maybe two years." He grabbed Izaya's shirt, leading him around, showing him to his bedroom on the second floor. "Your sister's bedroom is on the first floor. But yeah, you didn't cheap out on finding a place, you wanted the best of the best." The blonde takes Izaya's hand, leading him to the living room, showing him the view, and he taps the window. "You like the view; you can watch everything from here."
What about his parents, why didn't his sisters live with them? Izaya wondered. How did they act, did they get along with him? Or did they elude him like everyone else? Taking a tour of his own loft was more than weird. He loved what he saw; it was nothing he expected. The colour black engulfed the house, there were silk covers on his large, circle-shaped bed. He had a master bathroom had a huge black bath tub, and a separate shower. His kitchen had black granite counter tops, an island and a bar. He was loaded, and his house was gorgeous. Izaya put a hand on the clear, thick glass. The flat was overflowed with windows. There was no privacy, but Izaya didn't mind since everyone was visible to watch. Izaya glanced at Shizuo from the side, and raised their adjoined hands. He wasn't sure if Shizuo meant to hang on to his hand for so long. "Shizu-chan, I won't get lost..."
The blonde ignored him, opening large doors that lead out to the balcony. "I think you picked it so you could get the balcony." He tilted Izaya's head down, so he could look at the catching net below. "You liked to freak people out because you liked walking on the ledges. So, they had it installed." In fact, Shizuo had been over a few times. Izaya always scared him because every time he was over, he walked on the damn balcony ledge, acting like nothing could happen.
"So what would happen if I try that now?" He hopped up on the ledge of the balcony, Shizuo yelling at him to get down. He held out his hands on either side for balance and began walking along the thin surface. "Oh, this is so fun! Look at the people who watch, although I can't die even if I do fall." Shizuo should have never given him the idea. "Since you have to 'protect' me, would you mind letting me stay here for tonight?" He jumped down from the ledge.
His head looked over at hearing a question. "Eh? Well, if you want, I don't care either way. I'll just call Tom and tell him I'll be late for work." The blonde took a step back when Izaya walked towards him, wearing that cat-like grin and his long index finger slowly traced his strong jaw. "You're so cute when you yell," he teased, laughing at seeing a small blush appear on Shizuo's face. "Shut the fuck up!" The blonde snapped.
"Temper, temper!" The raven smiled at him. "And you get embarrassed easily too. You don't have a sense of humor, Shizu-chan?" He walked passed Shizuo and inside his flat. "Can you make something to eat?" He asked. He would've asked Namie if she were there.
"After I smoke," he snapped back and he pulled out a smoke. He lighted it and took a long drag. Fuck, only been a couple days and Izaya was already pissing him off. When half-way through the one stick, he ended up breaking it when Izaya jumped on his back, telling him he shouldn't smoke. His eye twitched; just another thing he couldn't do. Every fucking time he would try to smoke, the flea would come out of nowhere and attack him. "Yeah, yeah, smoking is bad, but whatever. It's my body," he reminded him and sighed, seeing what he can make for Izaya. "Fuck, it's like taking care of a grown child. I can make you rice balls for you," he offered.
Izaya was still on Shizuo's back, his legs wrapped around his torso as he held onto his shoulders. "What do I have to eat?" He asked. "Nothing," he told him straight, "you…really don't stock up, nor do you cook, but you love food." He walked over to the container that he saw rice in and worked on the food. First starting by cleaning the rice; he was surprised that he even managed to do any work with Izaya clinging onto his back like a fucking monkey. He made extra rice balls, because he knew the twins would be coming home. "Why are you so fucking clingy, you're worse than before! Unless...Bastard! You didn't lose your memories!"
I am already acting like myself? "No, my memories are still gone! Even you don't trust me? Come on...I want you to tell me exactly what I was like, now." He demanded. He was sick of the debt collector half assing the truth. It was evident now that Shizuo had more to say. If he wouldn't tell him, then Izaya would go to any lengths, even if that meant facing the headless rider.
"Tch, as if you can get me to talk. I'm the only person you know you can't wrap around your finger and manipulate me. You hate that about me," he told him, poking his chest with every word, "you love calling me a stupid protozoan. You hate how unpredictable I can be, and you hate how smart I can be at times."
Izaya smacked his hand away at the last poke to his chest. "Shut up, Shizuo! No wonder why I called you a stupid protozoan." If he couldn't 'wrap Shizuo around his finger', that meant that he tried to do so with everyone else. He was disappointed with himself and Izaya didn't know where to direct his anger. No wonder why everyone hated him. "Get out of my house." He pointed to the door, staring at Shizuo with stern eyes.
"No," he simply answered. "I'm watching you for a reason, can't change that. And what's the problem? You asked what you were like and I gave you an answer. Or is that too much to handle? I wasn't telling you for a reason." He flinched some when a hard slap hit his face. "Don't be a fucking stubborn flea! I'm taking care of you because no one else can fucking stand your face! Just be grateful that I don't hold grudges against you!"
"Nicest man in Ikebukuro, huh? Shinra was lying, wasn't he?! You're only a blonde brute who's vocabulary consists of 'fuck' and 'bastard'! We were never friends and we will never be friends. Why did Shinra even trust me with you?" He stormed off to his bathroom to take a shower. Maybe that would calm down his nerves, while he was stuck with Shizuo. He hated him, absolutely hated him!
The blonde was about to tell him something, but the flea ran off. He looks down at his hand, watching it shake a little before he clenched it. "Fuck," he repeated a few times, hitting his head against the fridge, "given a second chance and I still fuck it up. It's not like I can just tell him I like him…he'd use that against me again." For fuck sakes, the flea was getting a fresh start on torturing him.
Before Izaya lost his memories, it took him a lot to form who he was. Deep down, under all the malice and self-esteem, laid a sweet and lonely Izaya. The only people who ever saw that side of him were Shizuo and Shinra. Others refused to believe it, but there was more to Izaya than the cold exterior. He washed his hair, the hot shower helped, especially in the comfort of his own home. Maybe it was a sign that Izaya lost his memories. Obviously, Shizuo had a hard time trusting him. It wasn't much of a surprise. If he already hated him, he couldn't imagine what he did to Shizuo when he had his memories.
He could change, it was problematic but possible. He buried his hands into his face. Izaya was scared to know his past...if he was so horrible, he didn't want to remember. He stepped out once he was done, (after he changed into pajamas that were left behind,) and confronted two pairs of red eyes. He looked down to meet their level. Okay, so they were his sisters. He didn't want to say anything stupid, how would they react? Luckily, they walked passed him to their rooms. Mairu and Kururi were used to leaving their older brother alone. "I know you don't believe me, but I can change."
"You're fine the way you are," Shizuo said, he frowned and turned away to finish the food. "What's the point in changing? If people don't fucking like who you are, then that's their fucking issue." The blonde started mixing the tuna with mayo, using that inside the rice balls. "People don't hate you as much as you think. You have friends, not many, but you still have them. You're not completely lonely. And as much as you treat your sisters like crap…they've been there for you." The hazel-eyed man thought for a moment, if he should tell him or not, "I remember a while back, when you were being hunted down, it was the one time you asked Celty to watch your sisters. When they found you hurt, it was the first time they thanked you, it was the first time you acted like a brother to them."
"That's not much of an accomplishment, Shizuo. Even if you say all that, who was the one telling me that no one likes me just moments ago? Why do we fight, why do you even care to take care of me? I am not your concern. I am surprised that Shinra and Celty are my friends. Two friends, that's not very exciting."
"Because a lot of people hate you. Most the gangs hate you because of what you can do, girls hate you because you're a crazy bastard, and smash their cell phones to freak the fuck out of them. You do all sorts of things to have people hate you. You have this one contact, his name is Shiki. He's the one that ordered the attack on you. You see the worst in people and go out of your way to avoid being betrayed." The ex-bartender made the rice balls, finally putting the tuna in the middle of the rice.
Shizuo had an answer to every question Izaya threw his way. He knew a lot about him, for a man who wasn't even his friend. The tears almost left his eyes, almost, before he realized what he was doing and stopped. He would never, ever cry in front of the blonde. So, that's what it really was about; feeling betrayed, alone, depressed. "You're unbelievable." He breathed. "Are you making enough for my sisters?"
Did they come home? He didn't hear them come in. "Yeah, I'm making food for them too," he answered. He looks up when Izaya asked him another question as he finished the meal. "Why do we fight? You go out of your way to piss me off. We don't even live in the same town anymore. It just amuses you so much that I can throw vending machines at you," he stiffened, hearing the next question. Why was he helping Izaya? "A question I won't answer. I have my fucking reasons."
"Come on, that's not fair! You've told me everything so far. What is there to hide? Don't leave me hanging, Shizu-chan." If he returned his memories, what if he didn't care about his time away? The thought scared him; he hoped he would care and learn from Shizu-chan's words. He ate his food quickly. He was really hungry, and the rice balls weren't bad. Especially the ones with tuna in them.
"Private information, flea!" He snapped. He kept it from the flea for over ten years, he knew how to keep it that way. Since he fucked up and told him before they had sex, he sure as hell wouldn't do it again. "Last time you just used it against me," he informed. He looked over at the door, seeing the twins run over, happier to see him then their own brother.
"Ne, Shizuo-kun, why are you here?" Mairu asked.
"Made sure he got home in one piece," he told her, patting her head, handing them a plate with four rice balls. The twins looked at Izaya, unsure what Izaya needed Shizuo's help. "He lost his memories," the debt collector stated. He sighed; one twin was hyper and the other barely talked in full sentences.
"In trouble?" Kururi dully asked.
Shizuo scratched his cheek, unsure what she was asking. "No," he finally answered, "he didn't do anything to make anyone mad, you two are safe."
Izaya didn't want his sisters to know that he lost his memories. "Shizuo! Why did you tell them?" The twins looked at Izaya as they ate their rice balls. It was rare to arrive home for dinner, so they savored it, especially since Shizuo made it. "Even if I lost my memories, I am still your brother." Mairu and Kururi looked at him suspiciously. Mairu even shrieked. "Who are you?!" She held Kururi's arm as they headed back to their room. "Seriously, Shizuo. Think before you speak?" He sighed, and rested his cheek in the palm of his hand.
"They would've found out from what you just said. You don't think of them as family, just luggage. I don't think you ever said you were their brother." He watched Izaya go to his bedroom to take a nap and he sighed, not sure what to do. After an hour passed, Shizuo walked to Izaya's room, seeing he was still sleeping. He watched him for a few moments before he pulled the covers over the man's body. "Pain in my ass," he grumbled.
"Nnn...Shizu-chan?" Red orbs slowly started to open at the warmth. He held onto Shizuo's strong arm lazily, closing his eyes again. "Stay with me." He ordered. He wasn't aware what he was doing, holding Shizuo against his will. Even in his sleep, he thought of their weird relationship. One minute they were at each others throats, and the next they loved each other. To others, it would seem crazy but Izaya found comfort in it.