Mockingjay: Broken Wings

by Jamie Sommers

A/U Katniss and Peeta are married, expecting a baby. Peeta's unsure of Katniss after the things he's seen while being held prisoner. Is she still trustworthy? With a traitor in the rebellion who can Katniss turn to? Haymitch, after all the secrets he's kept? Gale, who's loyalty lies with President Coin? Or will Peeta open up his heart to her again? Sequel to CF: Rekindling

20. Capitol Bound

Mockingjay: Broken Wings

By: Jamie Sommers

Chapter Nineteen: Capitol Bound

Previously: Katniss and Peeta had banana nut three months early and she's fighting for her life. Peeta began training along with Johanna and Effie. Effie's hidden talents as a sharp shooter was revealed, and Gale was working in secret with Beetee.

Happy Valentine's Day one and all! Here's a gift for you! Thank you to everyone that has taken the time to read and review. The outpouring of feedback has given me so much motivation. Whenever I sit down to write I want to make sure I'm doing justice to this story for all of you supporters. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you!

S and A, once again I am forever in your debt. Your kindness, honesty and friendship mean the world to me. You are much more than betas and I am so glad I have gotten to know you.

There were a lot of tears shed while writing this chapter, and I want to thank Salanderjade for that. She posted a song that I hadn't heard in years, and once I listened to it again, I was trapped inside of a world full of heartbreak. Granted it made me cry my eyes out, but it also provided me with great inspiration for this chapter, as well as an outtakes chapter. Salanderjade, this one's for you.

And now let us get lost in the world of...

Mockingjay: Broken Wings

Both of their hands were plastered against the glass separating them from their baby as the doctor listened to Maysilee's chest then struck up a conversation with one of the nurses.

"What do you think is happening?" Katniss asked Peeta with a tremor in her voice.

"I don't know, but it looks like he's coming out here to talk to us," Peeta gestured towards Dr. Fletcher making his way out of the sterile room.

"Katniss...Peeta," Dr. Fletcher greeted them then motioned towards a few chairs that were lined up in an empty waiting room. "As I feared, your daughters lungs are an issue. We have put her on a machine to help her breathe, but one of her lungs has begun to fill with fluid, and the other will be joining that one soon enough."

"Can you do anything? Drain it or something?" Katniss asked, but she feared the worst.

"I'm afraid that's out of the question. We will have to perform a lung transplant on her."

Katniss' back collapsed against the wall while Peeta bent forward in his seat and rested his elbows on his knees. "Both lungs or just one?" Peeta asked.

"That's the big question." Dr. Fletcher kept his face free of emotion while speaking with them. He warned them that going in more than once to transplant a second lung could be dangerous, but that the time it would take to perform a double transplant could be just as harmful. "If she were a full term infant I would say we replace both lungs, but being as young and small as she is..."

"I thought you said she was big for her age," Katniss interrupted the doctor.

"Two pounds four ounces is actually quite large for a child that only made it to twenty-five weeks, however it is still quite small for being under anesthesia for a lengthy period of time."

"What's her best chance?" Peeta sat up and reached for Katniss' hand taking her cold, limp flesh in his own. "If you replace one lung, will the second fill up with fluid afterward?"

"Most likely," the doctor nodded.

"Then you'll have to transplant both," Katniss said flatly doing her best to keep her emotions from taking over.

"The other option would be for me to replace one, see how she's holding up under anesthesia, and if Maysilee is doing well, perform the second transplant."

Peeta began mouthing to Katniss, "I think we should go with that option. I don't want her dying on an operating table because she was under anesthesia for too long."

"Do you even think she'll make it through the first transplant? Is this the right choice?" Katniss' hand now gripped tightly onto Peeta's. "What if she dies no matter what we decide?"

Peeta's face grew hard, "She is not going to die." His voice may not have been heard by those in the hospital, but Katniss knew Peeta was yelling at her. "Quit thinking the worst, Katniss. That's our daughter in there, and she needs our support."

"I know," she let her eyes shut before whispering out a gut wrenching, "I know."

"Hey," Peeta tugged her hand so she could look at him. "We agree to the double transplant, but only if she's doing well after the first, okay?" He mouthed his question to her and got a nod in reply. It didn't take long for the staff to prepare the baby for surgery. "Can we say goodbye to her?" Peeta held Katniss up from around the waist when her knees began to give out.

"Of course," Dr. Fletcher motioned for them to go to the sterilization chamber. "You'll need to hurry. Just step into the clear room and put on the garments the nurse hands you. I'll see you two after the surgery and make sure I send someone out with updates."

Katniss rested the palms of her hands flat against the wall as a burst of something cool swept over her and a door on the opposite side of the sterilization chamber opened. "Put these on over your clothes and slip these booties on over your shoes," a nurse ordered her.

"Here, let me," Peeta held the paper like garment out for Katniss to slip her arms through, then put his own on. "Lift your feet up," he patted at her calf as he crouched down in front of her to slip on the booties. After pulling his own on he slipped some gloves over Katniss' hands, over his own hands, and then held the door opened for them to walk into the room where their daughter was lying inside of a small, clear incubator called an isolette. "Can we touch her?"

"I'm sorry, that's not allowed," The nurse stepped back. "You have one minute before we take her in for surgery."

"She's so tiny," Katniss placed both palms against the top of the incubator and watched as their daughter's chest moved up and down with forced air. "Why do they have tape over her eyes?"

"They said something about them not being fully developed," Peeta's hand met Katniss' across the top of the incubator. "You're going to be just fine, banana nut," he spoke to their daughter. "The doctors are going to fix you right up, but you need to fight. You can't give up no matter what."

It didn't take a genius to figure out that Peeta was talking to Katniss as much as he was talking to Maysilee. "They don't have her name on the card," Katniss pointed out that the pink identification card simply said, Baby Girl Mellark.

"Excuse me," Peeta called to the nurse. "Is there a reason you don't have her name on here?"

"We weren't sure if you wanted to use the name you chose or not, considering she may not survive," She answered.

It bugged the hell out of Katniss that the nurse appeared to be fine with the death of their child. "Her name is Maysilee."

"Maysilee Everdeen Mellark," Peeta gave Katniss a look of confirmation. Once the nurse left to get another card he explained, "I thought she could use all the strength she could get, and let's face it, Maysilee Everdeen Mellark is about as strong a name as you can get."

"Yes it is," Katniss agreed prior to bending over and placing a kiss against the cool plastic container that housed their baby. "Stay alive."

Peeta did the same and they stood back allowing Maysilee to be wheeled into surgery. "Guess we've got nothing to do but wait."

Katniss couldn't wait. It was her life's story. Wait for starvation to kill her family off. Wait for her mother to pull herself out of the trance that almost killed her and Prim. Wait for the Careers to hunt her down at night. Wait for Snow's revenge after she and Peeta challenged his authority on numerous occasions. Her eyes lifted to the clock that read five-thirty in the morning. "I'm going to the Command Center," she announced before heading back to her room to change into some clothing. Remembering a little too late that the only thing she had to wear was a maternity dress. "I'll stop by our quarters and get changed on my way there."

"Katniss?" Peeta followed her down the hall. "Why do you need to go to the Command Center? We need to be here. Waiting for Maysilee to come out of surgery."

"You wait," There was a pressing issue Katniss needed to take care of. "Training starts at six o'clock and I'm planning on being there."

"You gave birth to her less than six hours ago!" Peeta yanked at her upper arm preventing her from going any further. "You are not going to the Capitol."

"No, you're not going to the Capitol. I am," she pulled her arm free. "One of us has to be there, and one of us needs to stay with Maysilee. Since there's nothing keeping me from staying here anymore, I might as well be the one to go."

"NO!" Peeta knew what she was doing and why. "Are you back to running again Katniss?"

"Funny how you can't remember most of our life together, but you have no problems remembering my flaws." She pounded her fist into the elevator button. "And I'm not running away. I'm going to kill Snow and stop the Games. If she..." Katniss stopped herself, "...when she reaches her twelfth birthday, I don't want her present to be her name pulled out of the reaping ball like Prim's!"

"Don't do this, Katniss," Peeta's warning was low and in control. "Please don't abandon her."

"Who says I am?" This pissed Katniss off to no end. "Is there anything either one of us can do while waiting for her to go through surgery?" She didn't wait for his answer because she already knew it. They could provide support for one another, and be close in case she didn't make it out of surgery alive. "The answer is, no. So don't ask me to sit on my ass and do nothing." The elevator made its arrival known with a soft ding. "I'm going to talk to Coin about training. Stay here and wait for her. If there's any news you can call for me, otherwise I'll be back after training is through."

Katniss stared at the closing doors, because the disappointment on Peeta's face was far too painful.

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Johanna hated waking up at dawn more than she hated the five mile run the training officer had them do the day before. She didn't mind running, it gave her time to think about why she was putting herself through such hell, and when Katniss showed up the day after having a kid, falling face first into the mud wanting to give up, Johanna found it to be her sworn duty to yank the stupid girl up and egg her on. Too bad the trainer saw what happened and stood over Katniss wanting to know what happened.

"Sorry, I just had a baby," Katniss looked up at the trainer from her spot in the mud, and Johanna lent a hand to the brainless girl so she wouldn't fall flat on her face while trying to stand up.

"Everyone in Thirteen knows you just had a baby, soldier. What you don't seem to realize is that you've got six weeks recovery time ahead of you."

"NO!" Katniss was apparently as shocked as Johanna had been at this revelation. "I've only got three weeks." That's when the last round of soldiers would be shipped to the Capitol to take down Snow, and Johanna planned on being there. She thought she'd be going with Peeta, but it appeared that Katniss was now the designated figurehead slotted to take that spot.

"Move on, soldier Mason," Johanna gave Katniss a little shrug before following the trainer's order. She didn't know what happened next, but she did notice Katniss walking back towards the underground facility as the rest of the trainees continued their run.

Johanna looked around the group of young men and women she had been assigned to train alongside of and wondered where Effie was. She had been there for the past few days, but today she was nowhere to be found. It wasn't until she reached the shooting range that Johanna saw Effie standing in a uniform, taking shots at a moving target. "Hey, soldier Trinket," it was hard not to sound like a total bitch while speaking those words to the former escort. "Is this what they've decided to do with you?"

Effie paused for a moment to take a quick peek around then stepped towards Johanna. "Where is Katniss?"

"She fell into a mud puddle and went inside. I don't know what happened after that," Johanna watched as Effie's face got all puckered up. "What the hell is she doing out here anyway? Didn't she just pop that kid out last night?"

"Yes," Effie spoke with a clipped tone.

"How is it...the kid I mean?"

"Haymitch stopped by earlier and told me that she's still in surgery," Effie pointed to something on Johanna's gun when a trainer turned to look at them from several yards away. "I'm not sure why Katniss feels the need to throw herself into training," Effie spoke in a hushed voice. "I wish I could explain it, because Peeta is at a loss right now. He's sitting in that hospital by himself struggling to keep his sanity."

"Well maybe training is the only way Katniss can keep sane?" If it had been Johanna in Katniss' situation she sure as hell wouldn't be able to just sit still and do nothing. "So why are you out here and not going through the rest of training with us lowlifes?"

"They wanted me to practice shooting on moving targets with the advanced class. I'll be back to running five miles and doing calisthenics tomorrow."

"I take it they're keeping you in the advanced class for that too?" Johanna was almost jealous of the Capitol born escort's physical abilities.

"Yes," Effie held her head up with pride. "Johanna, have you spoken with Dr. Brown lately?"

"He bugs the shit out of me on a daily basis. Why?"

"Good," Effie straightened up. "You'll need to make certain that it's not just your body, but your mind, that is in tip top condition. Only those that pass the individual testing process at the end of training will be making a journey to the Capitol, and I would hate to leave you behind."

"TRINKET! MASON!" A trainer caught them talking. "THIS ISN'T A SOCIAL VISIT!"

"See ya later, Effie," Johanna took her place in line next to some of the other cadets.

Standing in the elevator with a few members of her class didn't bother her at all, until one of them noticed Johanna getting off at the hospital level. As Johanna stepped out of the elevator she could hear the young girls giggling, and knew it was directed at her. "I gotta get the hell out of this hospital," Johanna mumbled to herself, but the doctors refused to let her live alone, claiming she was still too fragile. "Fragile! I'm working my ass off in training! Shooting guns, running five miles, doing those stupid freaking exercises!" Johanna threw her pillow across the room and sulked in the middle of her bed when she didn't get released. "I'm not fragile." Yet when the time came for Johanna to bathe she didn't even glance at the shower. Instead she turned the faucet on, filled up the sink and used a washcloth to give herself a sponge bath.

The next morning as she went through hell with the rest of her class she made sure to throw a deadly glare at the young girls that had laughed at her in the elevator thinking she'd intimidate them, but they rolled their eyes at her and made Johanna look like she was the weakling during training. As the day progressed she selfishly wished Katniss, Peeta or Effie would show up to join her, but no one came and Johanna wasn't sure if she could go through all of this without an ally. The next morning when Katniss showed up in uniform ready to train, Johanna had to fight to keep her pleasure hidden. "What brings you back, fireball? Thought you had six weeks recovery ahead of you."

"I did, but I went through a procedure to speed up the healing time," Katniss tied the loose end of her boot's lace into a bow then double knotted it and got a distant look in her eyes.

"Hey," Johanna smacked her on the shoulder. "You okay?"

"Yeah," she patted at the double knotted bow and stood up. "I'm good. You ready?"

"Yup. Let's show these ki..." Johanna stopped when the trainer opened the doors for them to exit. The rain wasn't heavy, but by the time they finished their five mile run they'd be soaked.

"It's only rain, Johanna. You can do this," Katniss gave her a look that said she understood, and Johanna hated it.

"So how's that kid of yours? She still alive or did she kick the bucket?" It hadn't been her intention to say something so cruel to Katniss, but Johanna hated that the girl saw her fear.

"She's fine," Katniss said tightly and ran into the rain as though it were a warm spring day.

"Shit," Johanna murmured, hating herself for sounding so callous about Katniss and Peeta's kid. The first drops of water that hit her made her want to scream out like acid had been dripped onto her skin. Memories of being dunked into a pool of water, having a mask pulled over her head and water slowly poured over her nose and mouth, being beaten within an inch of her life, and being hooked up to electrodes, something the Peacekeepers saved for special occasions, flooded Johanna's mind. She had to pull herself out of the funk she was about to be submerged in. "Hey," she called out to Katniss, saw the daggers in her eyes and knew that she had crossed the line by sounding so crass when speaking about the baby. "So...she's okay? Effie said she went through surgery." Johanna had to slow down her pace so Katniss could keep up.

"Not exactly okay, but she's holding on. She's fighting."

"Of course she is. She's the daughter of two victors," Johanna meant it as a compliment, but Katniss' entire face drained of blood.

Katniss didn't say a thing to Johanna during their first couple of miles, air was a valued commodity during a run and you didn't waste it on words, but on the third mile Katniss fell into the mud...again, and Johanna reached out her hand to help her up...again.

"Let's move it soldiers Mason and Mellark!" The sound of their trainer called back to them.

"I have to do this, Johanna," Katniss said as she got back up. "I can't let Snow get his hands on her. You said it yourself, she's the daughter of two victors."

"Come on, fireball," Johanna yanked at Katniss' arm. "We're gonna make it through this course with no problems." She may have said it, but that didn't' mean it was the truth. Katniss struggled with the remaining miles, and Johanna found it to be her duty to keep the girl going. "You gonna sit on your ass all day, or are you going to get up and move?" She yelled at Katniss when she fell onto her hands and knees. "You can just tell your daughter when she's been reaped and you're her mentor, 'sorry, mommy was too tired to run through the woods during training,'" that one seemed to get Katniss' blood boiling. The worse the insult Johanna could come up with, the more motivated Katniss appeared to get. Johanna spent her day taunting Katniss until it was time to shoot. There was no need to harangue Katniss during their weapons training. After the first few shots she took to it like a duck to water, and by the end of the day, Katniss was the best shot in their class. 'Good going, fireball,' Johanna thought to herself as she watched Katniss return her rifle to the trainer.

"Where are you going now?" Katniss asked Johanna when she followed her into the elevator.

"Home sweet home," Johanna turned her head to Katniss. "The hospital. They won't let me out unless I have a roomy, and I can't really see myself rooming with any of these people."

As they walked through the hospital Katniss stopped one of the doctors and said, "Johanna Mason will be staying with my husband and I. Is it okay if she gathers her things while you get her release orders ready?"

The doctor seemed to be pleased with the fact that Johanna was leaving, and why shouldn't he? Johanna had been torturing their staff since she had become a patient. "We'll get her discharged immediately."

"There you go," Katniss said as she walked Johanna to her room. "Peeta and I are barely there so you'll pretty much have the place to yourself. Make sure you keep your grimy ass off of our bed. The doctor said they'd place a request for a roll-away bed to be brought to our quarters. The door is locked so punch in the code, 5647. That will get you in. I've got to go," Katniss lifted a hand to Johanna. "See you tomorrow."

Johanna wasn't quite sure what to do or say at Katniss' gesture. "Hey, Katniss." She scratched at her head. "Thanks."

"Sure," Katniss lifted her shoulder in a shrug then walked down the hall.

Each day she went to training, and each night she went back to Katniss and Peeta's cramped quarters, sitting on the cot/bed that had been brought to her the first night. Johanna wondered if maybe the doctors had been right and she shouldn't' have been alone when her thoughts got the best of her, but then Katniss walked in and sat on the bed. Her face may have been dry, but Johanna could tell that she had been crying. She stared as Katniss walked to a drawer and pulled something out. Johanna watched Katniss rubbed the pearl Peeta had given to her when they were sitting on the beach in the Quell between her fingertips. "Holy shit. Is that from the arena?"

"Yeah," Katniss put the spile on the end of her fingertip and wiggled it around before handing it to Johanna.

"Can't believe you kept this," Johanna sat next to Katniss on the bed and ran her hand over the tiny silver parachute that had held the items inside. "It's kind of sick that I remember that dinner fondly, huh?" She ran a finger over the pearl.

Katniss rolled the items back up in the parachute and tucked it away. "I remember puking my guts up."

"Why do you think I look upon that meal with such fondness?" Johanna said with a hint of a smile.

"Shut up," Katniss almost smiled back.

"So what brings you here this evening?" Johanna wasn't sure why Katniss would leave the hospital.

"I needed some air, plus they won't let us in the room with Maysilee tonight. They're doing some sort of oxygen testing on her new lungs, and only hospital staff are allowed in the room," Katniss' head lulled backwards. "Peeta will be here in a little while. He stopped by to talk to his mom and dad."

Hearing Katniss use the term mom and dad had Johanna asking, "So are the rumors true? Did Effie Trinket really adopt Peeta?"

"Yup," Katniss yanked off her boots, and tossed them to the side.

"Well, look at the bright side. If we win this war, Peeta will be a Capitol resident which means that you and your daughter will be too." Johanna scratched at her head. "Lamb stew for the rest of your life!" She threw her hands up giving Katniss a genuine smile, and was pleased with herself when Katniss let out a little chuckle.

They had less than three weeks before they'd be shipping out, and during that time Johanna worked her ass off to get back into shape. She hadn't stopped by the hospital to check in on Katniss and Peeta's kid since no one could get in there but family, and she stopped asking Katniss how the kid was doing because it always seemed to set Katniss back a little during training.

When the last day of preparations came upon them they were lined up for their final test. Johanna hadn't seen Katniss yet that day, but she didn't really care. There was a heightened sense of excitement amongst the people in line. Haymitch stood at the front of it with an angry look on his face, and when Johanna saw who walked into the testing facility, she figured out why. "How's it going?" She asked Haymitch when she reached him.

"Fine," he avoided making any comments about Effie just entering the testing facility.

"This thing hard?" She took the rifle from one of the trainers hands and pulled on her helmet.

"It's going to test your weaknesses, so I hope you've prepared yourself for this," Haymitch finally made eye contact with her. "You've been talking to the head doc, right?"

Johanna had no clue what a psychiatrist had to do with hand to hand combat so she skipped out on most of her scheduled visits, spending them in Special Weaponry instead. "Not since I checked out of the hospital." She saw the pissed off look on Haymitch's face, thought about the warning Effie had given to her and wondered what lay ahead.

"Next," a soldier barked out. "Mason, Johanna." He pointed towards a door. "Through there."

As Johanna took a step towards the door she couldn't help but feel a chill crawl up her spine. The door automatically opened and through it she could make out some familiar lights. 'Sweet Jesus,' she thought to herself as the door slammed closed behind her. 'I'm at the freaking Capitol.' The streets were the same, but there was a distinct difference between the Capitol Johanna knew, and this scene that had been created in Thirteen. The Capitol always had the hustle and bustle of people walking around, laughing, being their rambunctious idiot selves, but this was entirely different. There was a eerie absence of laughter, and in its place was the sound of people screaming out in pain. Gunfire rang out from behind her, and Johanna instantly hit the ground, took aim on where the shots were being fired from and took out the enemy soldier firing at her troop. Someone, or something up ahead that looked like a person waved her forward, and Johanna raced to the foxhole that had been built out of sandbags on one of the Capitol streets.

"Soldier, we've got enemy fire coming at us," Johanna listened carefully to the man speaking, not realizing that he was a holographic projection. Her job was to stay in the foxhole and keep the enemy from drawing nearer until she was ordered to move forward to her next destination.

"Yes, sir," She moved around, keeping close tabs on the rest of her troop as they made their way deeper into the Capitol. The first drop of rain that hit her hand sent a shiver down her spine. The second had her silently talking to herself, 'You can do this. It's water. It's water,' she repeated this thought over and over again. "It's water!" She screamed out as the light drops turned into a downpour.

The sound of a radio crackling had her snapping her head to the side. "Soldier, we're in need of assistance up here!" Johanna raced towards the coordinates she had been given over the radio by a rushed voice and stopped short when she saw what was coming her way.

"No," she breathed out through shaky lips. "No." The downpour turned into torrential rain, causing flooding within a span of seconds, and then the dam broke. Water was flowing straight for Johanna as power lines began to shoot sparks above her head. "NO!"

"What's wrong, Mason?" A Peacekeeper stood above her with electrodes in hand attaching them to her skin while Snow had her prisoner. "You're not afraid of a little water and electricity, are you? Just tell us who's part of the rebellion here at the Capitol, and we'll end all of this. You won't have to go through electrocution anymore." Johanna stayed silent, strapped to a table, waiting for the inevitable. "The choice is yours." The electrodes were attached to her shaved head followed up with a soaking wet sponge and a cap of some sort. Within seconds her entire body was quaking from the volts of electricity running through her and the taste of blood filled her mouth from where she bit her tongue.

With her hands covering her head and her knees tucked up to her chest, Johanna Mason screamed at the top of her lungs, "NOOOO!"

Hands were on her, and Johanna quickly began kicking and screaming, fighting them off with every breath in her lungs. She didn't see Haymitch and several soldiers trying to help her out of the testing area. She saw Peacekeepers everywhere, threatening her very existence. The sharp stabbing in her neck may have been a needle, but Johanna was certain that she had just had a burst of electricity shot through her signifying the end of her life. As her eyes began to close the shadow of a Peacekeeper bent over her, "Hagar, I knew you'd be here waiting." She reached out a hand and stroked the face of Gale Hawthorne before succumbing to the drugs.

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"The testing was a great success," Beetee spoke to Gale across a desk. "Now all we have to do is set up a demonstration for our president."

"You really think this is going to work?" Gale's excitement over the bomb he and Beetee had created was the closest thing to joy he'd felt in a long time. "Are you sure we're not going to wind up with a bunch of dead residents like the last time P Zero X was used?"

"Positive." Beetee tapped at the rim of his coffee cup with the tip of his finger. "I have made several changes to it. Fine-tuned it so to speak. P Zero X is now the weapon it was intended to be."

"Plus we've got the drug that prevents us from catching it too, right?" Gale had been given the drug twice now since working with Beetee on the biological weapon just in case something went wrong.

"Exactly." Beetee paused before going into the testing details. "I have determined that the ventilation system leads to the hospital, which is a good thing," Beetee smiled while pushing up his glasses. "If the chemicals do get into the air, at least the patients will already be in medical." Gale didn't understand why the man let out a chuckle. There was nothing humorous about the comment to Gale. A repeat of what had happened in Thirteen the last time they messed with these chemicals people died, and Gale didn't think the residents of Thirteen should be subjected to death by their own people. "No need to worry, Gale. The vents will be sealed. The room we are holding the demonstration inside of will be airtight."

"That's what they thought the last time, and look at what happened," Gale was a bit concerned. 'You need to make sure your family and Catnip's family are nowhere near the hospital the day we do this,' he silently reminded himself. "What day is this happening?"

"I see no reason why we can't have a smaller version of the weapon ready within the next few days."

"Sounds good," Gale gave the end of the desk a little smack before standing up. "I want to take a look at those schematics again and double check my math." He was never one for school, but working with Beetee was completely different. Gale had learned more in the short time he spent with the man than his entire twelve years of school. It had come as a surprise to Gale that he had a natural gift for math. Understanding numbers like they were a language of their own intrigued him. When he was in school he always found the math classes boring, finishing up the work within minutes of the teacher assigning it, then spending the remainder of the period bored out of his mind. He used to picture ways of coming up with new snare designs so he could catch more game.

"You've checked those calculations a million times, Gale. Do not over think this." Beetee picked up his coffee mug and walked alongside Gale towards their work station. "All of the math adds up."

"But we'll need to come up with new numbers if we're creating a smaller scale bomb." Gale had already done this, and Beetee checked his work. It was flawless.

"We have the smaller scale version already sketched out."

"Yeah, but..." Gale opened the door for them to walk through, "...I really want to make sure I got it right."

"Then we'll check it again, but Gale you must learn to trust in yourself. Perhaps you have the utmost faith in your physical capabilities, but you have yet to accept your intelligence. You are a smart man." Beetee entered the room where their bomb designs were. "If you had been raised in my district you'd be as remarkable a student as any one of us. Unfortunately you weren't provided any sort of knowledge in District Twelve."

It may not have sounded like a compliment, but Gale knew it was. The people of Three were considered brilliant. Gale didn't think he had that in him, but he was thankful for the comment regardless. "Appreciate that, Beetee." His pencil and calculator sat next to a slide rule and a computer pad. "Let's make sure this is perfect so we can teach Snow and his people a lesson."

Gale stood outside of the testing area several days later hating that there were two newborns in the hospital, one of which belonged to Catnip. He had suggested to Beetee that they postpone the testing, but President Coin insisted upon it and now they were all standing outside of a glass wall watching holographic families walking through a park. When the bomb floated down and the first one went off, it left the children on the playground screaming out in pain from their bloody injuries. It didn't bother Gale to see the kids, dressed up in their Capitol attire, playing around like they didn't have a care in the world, lying on the ground crying out for their mommies and daddies. How could it when his siblings had never even seen a playground, and worried for their lives when Reaping Day drew near? As the adults and Peacekeepers ran to the aid of the children the second part of the bomb exploded taking out the adults as well as releasing toxins into the air. The idea was that the Peacekeepers that went in to survey the area would instantly become debilitated by the chemicals. The first day would be the worst. Everyone would come down with symptoms like, the chills, body aches so severe they could barely move as well as a fever so high it would threaten brain function. That would provide the rebels time to imprison their enemy. A bunch of people lying on the ground squirming, unable to defend themselves, was a lot easier to defeat than able bodied guards with weapons. The symptoms would last up to two weeks, which is how long the program would be running. It would be Beetee's job to check on the captured residents each day.

"Now what?" Coin asked when she saw the holographic Capitol residents fall to their knees.

"We can go in with gas masks within the first few minutes and cuff them, or we can wait sixty minutes until the toxins dissipate into thin air and cuff them. The choice is yours," Gale said proudly.

"We've created a simulation of our people going in within seventy minutes to be on the safe side," Beetee added.

They waited as bodies writhed in pain, watched several children and their parents die, and stood at attention when Thirteen's soldiers went in. Out of the dozen that went in, two of them fell to the ground and began having the same symptoms as the people that had been bombed directly. "Maybe we should give them ninety minutes?" Gale suggested more to Beetee than the President.

"I'd like you to tell me if any more of our soldiers come down with the symptoms, if not, I'm fine with sixty minutes. Two soldiers out of a dozen is a small price to pay for freedom," Coin spoke to Beetee. "I'll expect updates three times a day." Coin made to exit, "Excellent work. Soldier Hawthorne, if you wouldn't mind walking me back to the elevator, I'd like to speak with you."

"Yes, ma'am," Gale had been feeling pretty confident with the test results, and the president had been right, wars had been known to take out entire nations, so two men in the grand scheme of things was a small price to pay.

"Soldier Hawthorne," Coin began speaking once they were alone, "I am unsure if you're aware that Effie Trinket is currently in training."

"I heard that she's a pretty good shot. Giving Katniss a run for her money," this news had shocked the hell out of Gale.

"If I told you that Effie Trinket would be the person going into the Capitol with you, and that she would be the one to fight alongside of you, how safe would you feel?"

"Permission to speak freely, ma'am?" Gale had never been thrilled with the idea of Capitol born rebels.

"Of course, soldier."

"I don't think I could trust her to have my back. She's one of...them." He didn't need to explain himself.

"Glad we're on the same page." The elevator arrived and Coin stepped into it. "Ride with me, I'd like to speak to you about something in private."

Gale listened to the president talk, mentally debated her request, and asked himself if he could actually do what she was asking. "Yes, ma'am. I have no problems with that," and though he kept a blank emotionless expression, deep inside Gale could feel his humanity being put to the test. When the president stepped off of the elevator and Gale headed back down to Special Weaponry, he sunk back against the wall and ran a hand over his scalp. He cringed internally at what Coin asked of him, and knew he had finally seen the side of President Coin that Katniss had been telling him about since she got to Thirteen.

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Peeta stood with his hand on the top of the isolette staring at his daughter, only lifting his head briefly when he heard the door to the nursery open. "Hey," he lifted a hand in greeting at Regina. "What brings you here?"

"Thought I'd check and see how you and Katniss were doing," Regina answered and pulled up a seat. "Not to mention this little one. Privileges of being a doctor here, I can come into the nursery any time I want." Regina let out a little sigh and said, "I hear she's doing pretty good since her surgery."

"Yeah." His entire body slumped as he said, "I wish I could find Katniss to tell her, but no one has seen her."

"What do you mean?" Regina knit her brows together. "She's down the hall laying in a hospital bed."

"What?" Peeta stood upright and headed for the door. "Which room?"

"The last one on the right. I didn't go in because she was sleeping," Regina followed him out of the nursery and into Katniss' room. She reached for the medical chart when Peeta grabbed Katniss' hand and she failed to wake up. "Dear God," Regina gasped.

"What?" Peeta's eyes flashed towards Regina for a brief moment.

"They performed a rapid postpartum involution on her." Regina smacked her hand against the computer pad that held Katniss' medical records, letting out a small, "Damn it."

"What's that?"

"A series of shots in her uterus and the muscles in her stomach," Regina fumed. "Thirty six in all, which eliminates the need to go through four to six weeks of recovery after having a child."

"Are you kidding me?" Peeta's eyes grew huge. "Who the hell approved that?"

"Apparently her trainer sent her here to get the procedure done."

"Did she know what they were going to do to her?" Peeta couldn't believe that Katniss would put herself through all of that without knowing ahead of time. "You know what," he lifted up his hand in disgust, "don't tell me. I don't want to be any more angry with her than I already am."

Regina's face clearly read that Katniss knew what she was getting into. "She'll be in a lot of pain tonight, Peeta. The drugs they provided won't last her much longer." Regina reached out a hand to Peeta's and squeezed. "I'm sorry about this. If I had known, I never would have allowed this to happen."

"She would have found a way to have it done no matter what you may have said," Peeta sat in a chair and dropped his elbows to his knees. "It's bad enough I've got to worry about the baby, now I've got to worry about this?" He lifted his eyes to Regina, "What the hell is wrong with her? Is it hormones again?"

"Those won't be an issue much longer," Regina placed the computer pad back onto Katniss' hospital bed. "This procedure was created many years ago so women in the Capitol wouldn't have to suffer through hormonal imbalance and postpartum depression. Sadly the women out there still use it quite often as opposed to recovering naturally. Those that would like to breastfeed are the only ones that avoid this procedure."

"Are you saying she can't breastfeed anymore?" This really bugged the hell out of Peeta.

"If she's planning on going to the Capitol, which I take it she is since one of the trainers sent her here, it's best that she doesn't. I can't imagine she'd be able to stop and pump out breast milk, or store it for that matter."

"Yeah, I guess." Peeta stood up and walked across the room with anger in each step. "Damn it, Regina. She didn't even tell me about this. Why would she do that?"

"Would you have let her do this?" Regina took a step in Peeta's direction. "Peeta, she clearly has some form of motivation behind it, so why not give her the benefit of the doubt and talk to her when she wakes up?"

It was hard for him to accept it, but Peeta knew Regina was right. "I guess." He had to wait until Katniss woke up before talking to her. "Hey, how's Adam doing? I heard they have to keep him here for a few weeks. Everything okay with him?"

"Oh that's nothing to worry about," Regina waved a hand at him. "He's considered a preterm baby, so they'll keep him here until he's reached his due date, but he's doing great. Six pounds twelve ounces of pure heaven," she gave Peeta a little smile. "Just you wait, Peeta. You'll be saying the same thing about Maysilee pretty soon too."

Peeta watched as Regina left then sat next to Katniss, holding her limp hand, and waited for the medications to wear off so he could talk to her. Over the course of three hours he spent his time between the nursery where Maysilee was, and sitting next to Katniss willing her to wake up.

"Hey," the sound of her creaky voice had Peeta pulling her hand to his lips.

"Hey," he forgot that he was furious with her when he saw the pain resonating in her eyes. "You need to get some rest. The doctor said it would be a pretty painful night for you, but you should try and get as much sleep as possible."

"Will they check me out in the morning?"

"Probably not," Peeta hoped they wouldn't and thought maybe he could convince one of them to keep her in for an extra day. "You in a big hurry to leave here?"

"I've got three weeks, Peeta." Katniss clutched at her stomach and groaned.

"They said your uterus will be shrinking back to its normal size, and your muscles will be tightening up." He let out a sigh and gave her a head shake. "What the hell were you thinking?"

"I was thinking that our..." she grunted, "...daughter would need a home to grow up in..." she rolled onto her side and clutched her belly, "...without the threat of the Games overhead."

"Did you ever think maybe I could go to the Capitol? That maybe you could just stay here and be a mother to her?" It's what Peeta wanted. "You can't go back into training Katniss. She needs you too much."

"I have to go back into training," Katniss reached for his hand and he gave it without complaint. "I will never let Snow touch her. Never," she swallowed repeatedly.

"Then we'll both go," Peeta reached out a hand to her stomach and felt it tighten beneath his fingers. "They said it was going to be a hell of a lot worse than labor."

"Oh God," she gasped out.

"Want me to talk you through it?"

"Yeah," she could barely move, but Peeta found a way to curl behind.

"Squeeze my hand when you get a pain, and if you need to look in my eyes...I'll figure something out."

She spent the night moaning and crying out in pain, yelling at the top of her lungs and punching at Peeta when she needed to, but he never left her side and had Effie, Katniss' mom, and his father keep watch over Maysilee that night. By morning, Katniss fought him as well as the doctor to be released, but Peeta didn't have to convince the man that she needed one day of full recovery after having a baby, a major procedure, and throwing herself into training. It was Katniss that needed the convincing.

"Listen to me," he gripped her hands in his as she stumbled towards the closet. "You're going to hate what I say to you, but I need you to really listen, okay?"

"Fine," Katniss' lips formed a straight line.

"We need this, Katniss. You and I need this day with each other, and with Maysilee." The tears began to fill Peeta's red rimmed eyes. "I don't know if we'll ever have the chance to be a family again, so please...please don't leave me today. Don't leave her." He pulled her hands up to his trembling lips, "Stay with us?"

Katniss looked everywhere but directly at Peeta, but once she did, her hand pulled from his grip and cupped his cheek. "Always."

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Effie needed to do one thing before heading to the testing facility. "Good morning, darling one," She placed a kiss on Peeta's head. "How's my little angel this morning?" She looked through the glass that separated them from Maysilee.

"She's doing good. She hasn't lost any weight since they took the feeding tube out and we switched to bottles, so that's a good thing." They stared at Maysilee who began to wail. "As you can see her lungs are holding up really good too."

Effie looked around and asked, "Where is Katniss this morning?"

"Changing for her test." Peeta held onto Effie's hands and said, "Mom, is there any way you can arrange it so she fails this damn thing?"

"Oh, darling," Effie ran her hand down the side of Peeta's cheek. "If only it were that simple. I believe Haymitch is wondering the same thing about me, and if he couldn't arrange that I fail the test, I don't think we'll be able to do that for Katniss."

"Yeah," Peeta faced Maysilee once again. "That's what I thought." Effie knew he hadn't made it to more than three or four training classes himself and was told he would not be taking the test to go to the Capitol. "She's so damned determined to go and fight."

"No, dear," Effie corrected him. "She's determined to keep your daughter from fighting."

"Mom, do you think I'm a coward for not going?"

"Of course not!" Effie chagrined. "You are staying back and fighting this fight. This little girl needs her loved ones around. I know you'd rather it be Katniss staying behind, but Peeta let us be grateful that it's one of you instead of neither."

"I know." Peeta gave Effie a hug and said, "Haymitch isn't the only one that wants you to fail that test today. I'd feel a hell of a lot better if both you and Katniss stayed in Thirteen."

"I'll take that as you wishing me good luck," Effie said with a bright and chipper voice. "You give that darling in there my love," she nodded towards the nursery and headed down the hall towards Katniss, who was poking her head out of a room and waving at Effie to join her. "Is there a reason you're hiding in this room?" Effie asked when Katniss closed the door.

"Yes," Katniss stood close to Effie. "I need something from you, and you'll probably hate what it is, but I need you to do it, Effie."

"Ask, and I will tell you my answer."

"Don't leave them," Katniss held Effie still with her stare while she processed what Katniss was asking. "I have to go to the Capitol, and my daughter needs a mom." She looked upwards for a second then back at Effie. "I'm sorry for saying this, but if I die out there, my mother will be useless. She won't be able to raise Maysilee, and Peeta can't do it on his own. She'll need a mother, and you're the best one I know."

"Katniss..." Effie could feel her chest constricting and her throat tightening.

"Please, Effie," Katniss reached out and grabbed her former escort's hands, "Do not let my daughter grow up without a mother. I swear to you, I will do everything in my power to come back to her and Peeta, but let's face it, I'm going to be the one person everyone at the Capitol wants to kill so please...please take care of her."

Effie had to tighten her jaw before her teeth began to chatter. "I don't know if I can sit back here and let the rest of you do the fighting, Katniss. I've been a spectator for far too long."

"I'm not asking you to be a spectator. I'm asking you to be a willing participant in my daughter's life." Katniss looked at the clock and headed for the door. "Think about it, okay?"

Effie gave her a nod as she left her alone in the hospital room with her thoughts. A few deep breaths, a tug on the end of her sleeves and a quick pat against the bun at the nape of her neck, and Effie Trinket was ready to face the world. As she stood outside of the testing area making her way towards Haymitch, she noticed the scowl across his face.

"You don't have to do this, Trinkie," He said quietly to her. "You've got nothing to prove to any of these people."

"No, I don't. But I do have something to prove to myself." Effie took the gun the trainer handed her and walked onto the streets of the Capitol intent on doing what was best for everyone.

The hair on her neck began to prickle which had Effie dropping to the ground and turning at the same time so she could determine if it was an enemy or friendly behind her. One gunshot took out the Peacekeeper before he could raise his rifle. Two more shots took out two more of Snow's men. Effie headed for the foxhole where the commander waited with her orders. "There are prisoners of war being held in that facility up ahead. Take that radio with you, and head west. You'll see..." Effie listened to her orders carefully, and kept her senses on full alert.

From a distance away she could make out the building that held the prisoners of war. Standing guard were several Peacekeepers, one of which was exceptionally familiar to her. 'Mr. Tanner,' Effie's blood boiled at the thought of them using him against her after everything he had done to help the rebels. Still Effie stayed on track, telling herself that this was only a simulation. Her job was to gain high ground and take out the enemy, and Effie Trinket was not going to let anything stand in her way.

"Don't let my daughter grow up without a mother," Katniss' words began echoing through her mind. Effie had a choice, she could either go to the Capitol and pray that Coin allow her to be in the same squad as Katniss so she could keep her safe, or stay in Thirteen and make sure that her granddaughter didn't suffer at the hands of the Coin.

'Forgive me,' the words repeated over and over again in her head as she made her choice.

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Katniss was quite pleased with herself for passing her test, and ready to get her head shaved like all the other soldiers did before heading off to the Capitol.

"Hey," she rushed up to Finnick's side. "You on your way to the training center?"

"Yeah," Finnick ran a hand over his freshly shaved head. "I don't know what I'm going to say to Annie about this. She really liked my hair."

"They didn't send me to get my hair cut." She shrugged, "Maybe after the meeting?"

"Seen Johanna?"

"No. You?" Katniss assumed that Johanna had made it through and was on her way to find her troop.

"Not since dinner last night," Finnick pressed the button on the elevator and held the door when he heard Haymitch calling out.

"You two going to training?"

"Yeah," Katniss was anxious to see who was in her squad. "Where's Effie and Johanna?"

Haymitch leaned back against the wall. "Johanna's back in the hospital and Effie's probably there visiting your kid with Peeta."

"You mean Effie failed?" Finnick asked with a surprised tone. "She was the top shot during training other than Katniss here."

"Yeah, well...she missed during her test and caused herself, and the prisoners of war, to get killed." Haymitch arched a brow in Katniss' direction. "Kind of shocked the hell out of me when I heard that."

Katniss clutched her arms around her stomach and kept her lips tightly sealed. 'Thank you, Effie. Thank you,' she said silently to herself.

"Shocks the hell out of me too," Finnick chimed in, but Katniss kept her silence knowing that there was no way she could feign shock. "I was actually hoping she'd be part of our team. Don't know about you Katniss, but I would have felt a little safer with Effie Trinket having my back. I was sort of hoping I'd come out of this thing alive now that Annie's pregnant."

Katniss lifted her eyes up to Finnick and dropped them feeling instantly guilty. "Annie's pregnant?"

"Yeah," Finnick grinned. "You're the only ones that know about it other than your mom and Prim. They were the ones that did the test on her. Don't go blabbing. Well, you can tell Peeta, but other than that..." Finnick pointed at Katniss then Haymitch who gave the guy a little shrug like he could care less, "...no telling anyone."

"Effie would have been good to have on our team," Katniss said more to herself than the rest.

"Well, she's not. Now get over it," Haymitch put things back in perspective. "Better that she's not being sent back to the Capitol anyway. If Snow's men got their hands on her, I don't even want to imagine what they'd do to her. Probably skin her alive or something. As far as Johanna goes, maybe you two could go visit her in the hospital or something? I'm pretty sure Peeta's already stopped by to see her since he's down there." Katniss knew Haymitch stopped before saying, 'which is where you should be,' to her just by the look on his face.

Thrilled with the fact that Finnick and Gale were in her squad along with Lavinia and Justus, and a few others she had yet to officially meet until Boggs introduced them, Katniss sat on the bench in their training room and listened to her squad leader. "As most of you know we're finishing up our training here in Thirteen before heading out to the Capitol. You'll spend the next seventy-two hours working side by side with one another, getting to know each other's strengths on the field of battle. This here," Boggs gestured towards a middle aged woman, "is Jackson. My second in command." Katniss learned about the sharp shooter that showed Effie Trinket a thing or two during her days on the gun range. There were two sisters in their twenties named Leeg that they called Leeg 1 and Leeg 2, who Katniss couldn't tell apart until she noticed the yellow flecks in Leeg 1's eyes that reminded her of Buttercup's coat. Two older men named Mitchell and Homes rounded off their troop. Neither one of them said much, and Katniss wondered briefly if they were Avox until she heard them say a couple of one word sentences to each other.

On their last day of training she found out they were handpicked by Plutarch not only for their skills, but for their appearance. "You are the Star Squad," Plutarch started, and Katniss stared with an intensity she was sure the former Head Gamemaker could feel prickling his skin. Katniss' head snapped around with everyone else's when Plutarch looked towards the door and said, "I was just about to start. Come in, sit down." What little security she felt at leaving her daughter behind in Thirteen was immediately washed away. Katniss felt almost lightheaded when Peeta walked into their meeting room like he was part of their squad.

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Peeta stood next to his daughter's isolette watching her sleep. He tried to recall the feeling of her in his arms when he fed her only a few hours earlier. "Hey," he trailed his fingertips across the clear plastic crib, and swallowed the lump he felt forming in his throat at what he was about to do. "You know how much I love you, right?" Talking to his daughter may have seemed futile to most people outside of the hospital, but to him, it meant the world. "Your mom and I...we're doing this for you, banana nut. Because you need to live in a world where kids can play outside, and not worry about whether or not they'll have food to eat for dinner. We want you to have better than what we had." He wiped the tears away from his eyes with the back of his hand. "Leaving you is the hardest thing in the world for me, but I have to, Maysilee. Your mom, she needs me, and I can't let her do this alone." His whole body curled over the incubator as he sobbed.

"Oh, darling one," Effie took him by the shoulders. "I promise you, your father and I will take care of her, won't we Bing?"

"Absolutely," Bing gave Peeta a thump against the shoulder before pulling him in for a hug. "Don't you worry. Your mother and I will spend every waking minute here."

"Than...thanks, dad," Peeta gave his father a kiss on the cheek. "I love you, pops."

"I love you too, Peeta," he could hear the hiccup in his father's voice and knew he had better leave before things got completely out of hand.

"Bye nut," he gave one last look at his daughter who had yet to look back at him since having surgery for something called Retinopathy of Prematurity. There was so much more he wanted to tell her, but time was running out and he needed to stop by Johanna's hospital room too. "Bye mom," Peeta gave Effie a hug.

"I'll walk you to the Hangar," she stood tall and kept her chin high. "Your father is going to stay here with Maysilee."

"'kay," he sniffed once more, walked into the hallway and gave Prim a wave, not wanting to relive the tearful goodbye he had with her and Evelyn before he went to say goodbye to Maysilee. "You'll keep an eye on Prim, right?" He asked Effie as they headed towards Johanna's room.

"In your father's words, 'We need to take care of our son's girls, Effie,'" she gave Peeta a warm smile. "Don't you worry one little bit. We'll watch out for all of your girls."

They entered Johanna's room to find her sniffing at a gauze covered ball. "Did you get hooked on catnip, Johanna?" Peeta teased through his stuffed nose.

"You caught me, buns" Johanna gave him a nod of her head. "So you're leaving huh?"

"Yeah," Peeta glanced at his watch. "I don't have much time before I ship out." He waited for a few seconds to see if she'd say anything, but all she did was sniff at the ball. "Well, I better..."

"Katniss gave this to me," Johanna held out the ball for Peeta to sniff. "Smells like home." Johanna held his stare. "You know, I made her swear to kill Snow? Did she tell you that?" Peeta shook his head no. "I told her I needed her to swear on something she loved...made her swear on her family that she'd do it." Johanna's gaze pierced Peeta. "I need you to do the same thing, Peeta. I need you to swear to me that you won't let him..." She began to visibly shake.

"Johanna," Peeta grabbed onto her hand and held it. "We're going to win this thing, but if it will make you feel better I'll make a deal with you. You watch out for my daughter, protect her like you would a member of your own family, and I'll make sure we don't come back until we're victors again." Johanna ducked her head down and nodded. Peeta dropped her hand. "Well...I'll see you when I get back."

He almost made it to the door, but Johanna's voice stopped him. "Peeta," he turned to face her, and as he looked at her he couldn't help but see the vulnerable young woman she tried to hide from everyone with her false bravado. She fumbled for words, her lips quivering, with nothing coming out.

"Me and Katniss...Finnick, we're counting on you, Jo. We need you to watch out for our loved ones." He knew better than to hug her. Johanna Mason needed a fight, and he was going to give her one before he left. "We're counting on you to keep them safe. To protect them."

"I won't let you down." Johanna waved a hand at him as he left with Effie.

Peeta felt his feet springing to life with each step towards the Hangar, the boots Portia designed for him were doing their job. He checked his Jabberjay uniform over one more time, looked at the spot where the nightlock was stored and wondered if Beetee had fixed Katniss' uniform so hers no longer crushed the pill. He ran a shaky hand through his trimmed hair, he and Katniss had been the only two soldiers exempt from shaving their heads so the nation could identify them easily during their propos. He stopped dead in his tracks when he stepped off the elevator by the touch of Effie's hand on his shoulder.

"Peeta...I...I don't think I can go any further," Effie's eyes were red and puffy. "Give us a kiss." She lifted her arms and gave him a peck on the cheek and a hug. "I know that Haymitch's advice seems silly, but I would appreciate it greatly if you and Katniss would follow it and stay alive." She gave his cheek a pat and stepped back. "Stay safe, dear."

Peeta didn't know what to say to her. It was obvious she was having a difficult time saying goodbye to him, hell it was hard on him too, but he didn't feel right leaving things like this. "Mom," he reached for her hand. "I never thought I'd say that and feel love for the woman I was directing it to," Peeta gave her a sad smile. "Know what I was thinking about the other day?" Peeta let out a little chuckle. "There was a morning while we were at the Capitol during mine and Katniss' first Games, and I had said something to her over breakfast...we had a little blow up or something, anyway, you came into my room and tried to make me feel better about it?"

Peeta covered his head with his hands and said, "I'm sorry. So sorry. Why did I say that to her? I shouldn't have told her what my mother said. Why did I tell her that?" Telling Katniss what his mother had said about her being a survivor and winning the Games was the last thing Peeta had intended to do over breakfast that morning.

Effie's heart ached as she watched Peeta suffer. Over the years she had seen many tributes cry for their parents or out of fear, but never over the welfare of a fellow tribute. Effie looked around the room wishing that Haymitch hadn't sent her into Peeta's room to remedy the situation. She wasn't exactly the motherly type, but was willing to try. She placed her hand on Peeta's shoulder and gave it a couple of awkward pats. "There. There. I'm sure Katniss has forgotten all about it by now," she said in an encouraging tone. "She's probably flattered by your mother's comment."

Peeta pitied Effie and her pathetic attempt at consoling him. He lifted up his face and dried his eyes. He smiled at his escort and said, "She probably is flattered, Effie. Thanks." He walked into the bathroom and thought, Effie, you're clueless, but for some strange reason, I like you.

Effie began to blush. "Oh my word," she shook her head back and forth, and lifted her hand to her throat. "I had no clue what to say to you. I was far from maternal back then."

"If someone had told me that I'd be calling you mom almost two years later, I'd tell them they were insane."

"If someone had told me that I'd be the mother of one of my tributes, I would have insisted that they be checked into a sanitarium," Effie gave him a bright smile. "My darling boy," the tears Peeta knew she had been holding back finally fell. "You have changed my life so very much."

"Do you ever regret it? Leaving the Capitol for this sort of life?"

"Not once. Not ever," Effie and Peeta moved into each other's embrace and clung. "My life was nothing until you and Katniss came into it." She held him tightly and said with as much conviction as possible. "How lucky I am to have been able to love someone the way I love the two of you."

"I love you too, mom. You know you're one of my girls too, so please take care of yourself." Peeta stepped back from her. "You make sure Maysilee knows how much we love her each and every day okay?"

Effie couldn't answer. She pressed her fingertips to her clamped lips and nodded.

As Peeta turned from her and headed to his waiting hovercraft he saw Haymitch waiting next to it. "Boy."

"Haymitch," Peeta stood toe to toe with him. "Any last words of advice?"

"Yeah," Haymitch gave him a punch on the shoulder and said, "You two go out there and finish what you started." Before Peeta stepped onto the hovercraft Haymitch screamed out, "And stay alive!" Advice Peeta intended to take.

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The ride to the Capitol on the hovercraft left Katniss with time to think, which she hated. Thoughts of Peeta and Maysilee filled her head. Picturing Prim and her mother standing with Bing, all three arm in arm like a little family as she walked away from them. She let her head drop back and forced herself to push the morose thoughts from her mind with no luck. She glanced towards Finnick in hopes that he could provide some sort of conversation, only to find him asleep. Gale was sitting across from her and staring at Justus and Lavinia's hands as they signed rapidly back and forth with one another. 'Just you and your thoughts,' she silently said to herself. The clouds were beneath them and looked like a bunch of cotton balls. Katniss rubbed at her eyes, telling herself not to cry. Tears could no longer be afforded. 'Think of something happy,' but how could she find happiness on board a craft headed into war? The only saving grace was that Peeta wasn't sitting next to her like she feared he would be when she saw him walk into the training room the day before.

Katniss stood up and headed straight for Peeta as he entered. "What are you doing here?" She mouthed to him.

"I wanted to see where you were going and find out what the plans were." He continued their silent conversation.

"Is that it?" She gave him a questioning glare.

"That's it."

"Squad Four-Five-One," Plutarch continued when Peeta took a seat next to Katniss. "You have been selected for a special mission."

Their "special mission" angered the majority of them. The Star Squad, as it turned out, was more than just a group of men and women trained as sharp shooters and ready for battle, they were exceptionally photogenic, which Plutarch considered a good thing since they'd be the only group with a camera crew. Complaints were made by all of the members of the squad as they felt that they had trained for more, with the exception of Katniss. She could feel Peeta's eyes on her, see the questions written all over his face at her lack of complaining, but he didn't say a thing. Though Plutarch made a comment about Katniss staying quiet, because she knew how important the footage would be, she knew the truth, and apparently so did Peeta. Katniss had to give him credit. If the shoe was on the other foot, she'd never be able to sit still with her mouth closed. She'd be jumping all over him and making accusations, but Peeta kept his cool, and didn't move from his spot until Plutarch pulled out a device and began speaking about the streets of the Capitol, and how the fight would be fought on the ground. Thirteen's hoverplanes had been grounded after the first round of them were picked up by the Capitol's detection system and blown out of the sky. The wide, flat paneled device Plutarch pointed at in the middle of the table, seemed like a pretty pathetic demonstration to Katniss since she had to squint to even make out the slightest thing. Then Plutarch hit a button on the side of the flat panel and a miniature block from the Capitol was projected before her eyes. He went on to describe the obstacles they'd have to overcome and how the holograph would display them. Lights in various speeds and colors represented the pods that had been planted throughout the Capitol as a means of defense. Some filled with a burst of poisonous gas, six inch darts...explosives... The list went on and on.

"These are the areas you must avoid," Plutarch pointed out to the squad. "The Capitol has no idea that someone escaped with a holograph, and we need to keep it that way." Plutarch began telling them how it worked and how to destroy it.

With a tilt of her head, Katniss stared at Plutarch's demonstration, her feet and Peeta's moving of their own accord towards the holographic projection of the battle field. Her eyes met Peeta's as she reached out and cupped a flashing green light. Both of them turned towards Finnick who was now standing by their side as only a victor would recognize the arena laid out before them, filled with obstacles controlled by Gamemakers.

Finnick reached out with a fingertip and touched a red blinking light, "Ladies and Gentlemen..."

"Let the Seventy-sixth Hunger Games begin," Peeta added.

"And may the odds be ever in your favor." Katniss began laughing, not wanting them to know how seeing the display had cut through her insides, worse yet, allowing Peeta to see it. "Why'd you even bother training me and Finnick? We're the two best equipped soldiers you've got for this invasion."

"Three," Peeta said with a blank expression on his face, which petrified Katniss to no end.

As they walked out of the training room, Finnick stared straight ahead, the bright light that always flickered in his eyes was gone. The good humored tone in his voice was absent when he asked Katniss, "What am I going to tell Annie?"

"Nothing," she answered quickly while Peeta spoke with Plutarch. 'Probably making sure you're going to be out of the line of fire or something,' she thought to herself when they huddled closer together in conversation. "I'm not telling my mother or sister. What good would it do them to know? Besides, it's not like the arena where there's only one winner. Any number of us will come out of this thing alive."

"Right," Finnick rubbed at his peach fuzz covered scalp, staring at the tips of his boots as he walked blindly down the hall towards the exit.

Katniss had no clue what Peeta spoke to Plutarch about, but she could tell he wasn't too pleased by the tension in his jaw. "You okay?" She asked him as she walked behind him like an obedient puppy towards the elevator.

"No," he snapped, then stepped towards Gale. His disconcerting eye measured Gale up and down, and Katniss was afraid for a moment that he'd get into a fight with him. "I'm glad you're going to be there. Make sure she comes home."

"I'll do my best," Gale answered and Katniss blew out a breath of relief.

"Feel better now?" Katniss crossed her arms so her palms would stop sweating.

"Oh yeah, Katniss. I feel loads better knowing that my wife is going to be in the middle of yet another arena, plotting to break away from her squad, and don't tell me you're not," He turned on her, "while our daughter is fighting for her life across the country. Yeah, I'm great!" He stormed down the hall behind the rest of the soldiers heading back to their quarters...families... Katniss had no idea where most of them were going, only that this was their last night with their loved ones before heading for the Capitol.

"Don't do this, Peeta," She reached for him.

"Don't do what!?" He grabbed her by the upper arms and gave her a little shake. "Don't hate that I've spent the past few years of my life fighting for it!? Watching you practically starve to death your entire life, help you to become a victor just to put you in this position!? Because when it comes right down to it, this was me Katniss! Me!" He released her and tightened his jaw before lowering his voice down. "If I hadn't told this entire country that I loved you, you'd never be here fighting for your life."

"Yes, and you'd be dead. I'd be dead, and that little girl upstairs would never be here," Katniss gripped him behind the neck and pulled him to her, pressing her lips firmly against his to prevent him from talking.

"Don..." he pushed at her. "Don't Ka..." she was relentless in her quest. Katniss refused to release him from her deadly grip. Their lips grew wet from the tears that fell from his eyes, and though his hands pushed against her shoulders, their determination waned, and in an instant they went from attempting to deter her to clutching her as close as possible. Katniss sucked in a breath before Peeta pulled her entire body against his and plastered his swollen lips to hers. "I love you," his thick voice spoke as he kissed her, and as much as she wanted to tell him she loved him too, if she spoke those words now she knew she'd lose herself into a world of regret for leaving.

"Hey," she whispered into his ear after he released her from his lips and hugged her instead. "I don't suppose I could convince you to spend the night with me?"

Peeta wiped at his eyes. "Like the whole night?" They had spent their evenings taking shifts next to Maysilee's crib since Katniss went back into training with the exception of one night when they weren't allowed in the nursery due to some tests the staff had to run, but that night was spent in their quarters with Johanna for company and very little sleep. "What about banana nut?"

"We'll get the grandparents to pull duty." Katniss cupped his cheek, ran her hand down the side of his face and felt the prickly stubble scratching her palm under his jaw. "Just one thing," she rubbed at the fine hairs, "you have to shave."

She watched him as his mind went through the options and finally landing on the decision to take her up on her offer. "I miss sleeping with you," he rested his head against hers.

"I miss sleeping with you too." In the back of her mind she hoped that tonight wouldn't be the last time they'd share a bed. "Let's go see the baby. We can eat dinner in the hospital so we can spend more time with her, okay?" She rested her head against his shoulder as they walked down the now barren halls, missing him even though he was right next to her.

"...coming up on it now," Katniss heard the last half of Boggs' sentence and followed the rest of her squad as they prepared for landing.

"You all right?" Gale asked as they grabbed their weapons from the storage space on the hovercraft.

"Great...good...fine..." Katniss' voice tapered off as she lifted her eyes to Gale and confessed, "I don't know how to survive an arena without him."

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The gauntlets Beetee created for him were sitting by his side. Peeta lifted his chin in greeting when the medical staff boarded the small hovercraft. They were on their way to the Capitol, all of them responding to orders, though Peeta's were the only ones that came directly from Coin herself.

"Soldier Mellark," Coin had beckoned him within seventy-two hours after Katniss' departure from Thirteen, to the Command Center. "It's my understanding that you've been made aware of the mission our Star Squad is on."

"Yes," he had expected it, longed for it, since the moment Katniss kissed him goodbye and stepped onto her hovercraft. He was going to the Capitol.

Peeta lolled his head back and forth against the wall of the craft trying to get Katniss off of his mind. There was an emptiness inside of him, a pain so sharp in the pit of his stomach he could barely focus on every day necessities back in Thirteen. He missed more meals than he ate, sat next to Maysilee staring blankly at various spots on the floor until his vision blurred from tears he hadn't realized were filling his eyes. The day he was called to the Command Center, Effie had to force him to brush his teeth and hair before seeing the president claiming that no son of hers would be seen looking like he spent the night in the gutter. He spent the night he got his orders staring at his daughter, trying to figure out a way of letting her know how much he loved her mom, and that he didn't know how to function without her. Peeta blew out a breath and forced himself to keep his wits about him. Regret for leaving his daughter in his parent's care battled with the need to get to Katniss. 'I hope you can forgive me one day,' his mind said for the millionth time during his travels. Whether or not he was asking Maysilee for forgiveness, or Katniss, he had no clue. He rested his elbow on the tiny armrest, and pressed his closed fist against his lips. With closed eyes he thought back to his last moments with Katniss, and the promise he made her.

"President's Quarters, huh?" Peeta walked closely behind Katniss as she led them to their private bedroom. "Did you tell Effie where we'd be just in case?"

"Yeah," Katniss tilted her head to the side, which Peeta took to mean she wanted him to kiss her on the neck. Since he was determined not to cause any friction between them regardless of whether or not he wanted to talk about her mission in the Capitol, he placed his lips against the crook of her neck.

"I'm not sure what to do with an entire night of sleep ahead of us," Peeta let out a nervous chuckle when they entered the room.

"Start with a shower? The water will be turned on in a couple of minutes."

"Sounds good," Peeta brushed his fingers through his hair and took his shoes off. He rested his palms back on the bed and released a breath as Katniss slowly removed her hair from her braid. "Wait," he jumped up. "Let me do that." Tonight could be like many of the nights they had in the past, or it would be the last of its kind. His fingers combed through her chestnut tresses taking in the silky texture. "Katniss?" There was a quiver in his voice he simply couldn't get rid of.

She turned to face him with a softness in her eyes he hadn't seen in a while, cupped his face in her hands and led his lips to hers. "Don't say anything, Peeta. I can't cry, and if you say...anything..." She let out a loud breath between her puckered lips and gulped.

"Shh," he pulled her to him. "Hey," he pressed his kiss against her forehead. "Did I tell you I sketched you a picture?"

"Nope," her forced smile broke his heart.

"Well, I did, and you'll see it tomorrow. I'll give it to you before you leave. It's something to look forward..." his voice caught in his throat, "...look forward to."

As they lay in bed, snuggled together, his heart raced beneath her ear. "Promise me you won't let her grow up without a mother. That you'll let yourself find love again if I don't make it back."

"Katniss, don't..."

"Please Peeta," she leaned over him, her hair tickling his bare shoulder. "Tell me you'll find happiness if I don't come back? I need to hear that. I need to know that you...you..." her voice started to shake.

"Stop," he placed his lips against hers. "I can't make that promise, Katniss."

"Why not?" She cried out and slammed a fist against the mattress.

"Because if I do, then I'm giving you an excuse to let yourself die out there, and I won't do that."

"Then promise me that you won't let her grow up without a mother. Can you do that, Peeta?"

He thought of Effie...of Evelyn, even Johanna and knew that Maysilee would always be taken care of and would never have to worry about knowing a mother's love. "I promise," this seemed to bring a bit of relief to her as she rested her head against his chest again, "but you need to promise me something too."

"What?"

"That you won't go looking for Snow on your own." He could feel her entire body stiffen in his arms. "You have to come home to that little girl, Katniss. She needs you." Peeta lifted her face to his. "I need you. Tell me that you'll remember that. Tell me that you won't be reckless and go on the hunt alone."

"I...I have to think about it," she whispered hoarsely before straddling his lap, and throwing her hair over her shoulder. She rested her palms against his chest and looked down at him with misty silver pools. "Tell me you need me again," her fingers dug lightly into his skin.

"I need you," he reached up and cupped her cheek before pulling her down to him. With his lips a breath apart from hers he choked out, "I need you, Katniss Mellark."

"Mr. Mellark? Did you want one of these sandwiches?" The voice of a boy called to Peeta.

"No thank you," he couldn't eat a thing. His stomach was in knots. Peeta studied the facial features of the boy that had offered him the sandwich and asked, "Aren't you awfully young to be going to the Capitol as a medic?" Thoughts of Prim being sent to the Capitol suddenly plagued him.

"I'm twenty-two," Peeta let out a little chuckle when the boy told him he was older than he was.

Peeta leaned back in his chair and stared out the window across from him not wanting to continue his conversation with the young medic. Not wanting to talk to anyone. As he watched the blue sky float by he wondered when he went from an innocent boy to feeling like his entire life had passed him by.

"Do you ever feel old, Katniss? Like we've aged in the past year?"

"Yeah, like we've aged a decade in the past year," she answered .

"Well, I want to give you back your youth. Not all of it. I can't do that, but I can give you a little bit of it. Maybe bring back a small portion of your life...like...like," he turned to face her, "when we used to meet for lunch at the oak tree. Our biggest fear back then was getting caught by your mom or not seeing each other often enough." He took her hands in his. "I remember how nervous I was just to hold your hand that very first time."

"I remember when you gave me my first kiss," she tilted her head and pointed to a spot on her forehead. "It was right here."

"Don't you miss that? Miss those moments? When life was carefree? Full of nervous jitters?"

"It wasn't exactly carefree, Peeta, but...yeah...sometimes I do."

One of Peeta's gauntlets fell to his feet, breaking him from his solace. 'Life may not have been carefree, but if we get out of this alive, I'll make sure to keep you young for the rest of your life, Katniss,' he promised himself.

For some reason memories of his life had been flooding back since the birth of Maysilee. When Peeta asked Regina about it she said that all it took for some amnesia patients was one major event to bring memories back, but since no one ever dealt with a hijacking before, she didn't have an explanation for Peeta. He could now remember following Katniss home from school on a daily basis, his time at the Capitol with her before both Games, but the one thing that alluded him was their toasting and their wedding night. Not remembering such a momentous occasion in his life caused him a great deal of stress until Evelyn told him that he had been able to recall many little moments in their lives, and in time that memory would come back too. Peeta lifted the corner of his lip a little then immediately followed it up with a frown when he thought of one particular moment in their lives that he was certain Katniss remembered, but probably not all of it.

Peeta walked down the corridor of the school where the elementary classes were held. A two story building that sectioned off the younger children. Various grades shared their lunch hour in a large room with tables. Peeta's sixth grade class shared theirs with the seventh grade. This would be his last year in the elementary section of the school before moving onto the middle school. Though it was called the middle school, the kids in the seventh and eighth grade level roamed around the remainder of the building with the high school students between their classes. The only time Peeta ran into middle school students was before and after school, and during his lunch hour when they all piled through the hallway towards the lunch room.

Each day Peeta would see his brother Miche bustling down the corridor with his group of friends. He had joined the wrestling team like their oldest brother Whytte as soon as he got to the seventh grade, and though Miche was a decent enough guy, his wrestling friends were jerks. Picking on the sixth graders on an almost daily basis, admittedly they were all Seam kids Miche's friends singled out, tormenting them to no end.

On this particular day Peeta and his friends headed towards the lunch room behind a slow moving crowd of girls, and Katniss Everdeen who carried her lunch in a brown sack with a large circular grease stain in the corner.

The boisterous laughter coming up behind Peeta and the pounding on the walls from the rowdy boys, told him without even looking, that his brother and his friends were headed their way. As usual they pushed their way ahead of the sixth graders knocking a few into the walls in the process. Peeta put a hand on his friend's arm and said, "Wait a second guys. My shoe is untied." He bent down and pretended to tie the boot that was double knotted to let his brother's friends walk past, not wanting today to be the day they chose his group of peers to pounce on. As Peeta looked down he heard some shuffling and the abrupt sound of evil laughter.

"What's wrong? Did you drop your lunch?" Peeta barely lifted his eyes when he saw that his brother's friend Shep had chosen Katniss to pick on that day.

Without thinking Peeta stood up and quickly headed past his friends intent on coming to Katniss' defense, but his brother's hand stopped him. "Don't," Miche's voice was low and held a serious warning. Peeta looked up at his older brother and saw that there was no bullying expression on his face, but one of concern. Miche's eyes quickly flashed towards Katniss then he gave Peeta a little head shake so no one would notice.

"Jerks!" Peeta's head snapped around and saw Katniss yelling at Miche's friends who were now laughing hysterically at the fact that they had caused her lunch bag to fall to the ground and her food to scatter about the floor where the rest of the kids walked on it.

Peeta watched as Katniss picked up the apple next to her foot, made a little motion with her hands, like she was taking aim, then let 'er rip, striking Shep in the back of the head. A round of laughter from the entire hall filled with sixth and seventh graders echoed and caused him to smile uncontrollably. Shep's hand went to the back of his head, while his face turned beet red with anger and his footsteps stomped their way back towards Katniss, who stood her ground with her hands on her hips almost daring the kid that outweighed her by a good fifty pounds to take a shot at her.

Peeta was petrified that Shep was going to hurt her until Miche ran up to his friend and placed a hand on his chest, stopping him in his tracks. Peeta didn't hear what was said, but whatever his brother said to Shep got him to turn around, but not before pointing at Katniss and calling out for everyone to hear, "Why don't you go back to the gutter where you belong, Seam scum!" Though Peeta wanted to say something, the warning in his brother's eyes stopped him dead.

"What are you looking at!?" Katniss screamed at the rest of the kids in the hallway who hurried into the lunch room. "What!?" She directed it straight at Peeta's friends.

"Nothing," one of them said, but Peeta didn't know which one.

"Hey, I'll be right in. I'm gonna go wash my hands. I got mud on them from my shoe," he lied through his teeth to his friends. "Save me a seat...away from Shep," he joked causing a round of laughter. He waited until they were out of sight...until almost everyone was out of sight before picking up the food from Katniss' lunch bag that had been smashed to bits. There was some sort of meat that had been wrapped in wax paper, but now looked like a tiny half eaten drumstick, the apple that she threw at Shep's head which was now bruised and battered, and a half a piece of... 'Is this supposed to be bread?' Peeta asked himself as he was about to shove it back into the bag with the grease stain. Katniss was busy staring down some other kids while Peeta did something he hoped he wouldn't regret. He turned his back towards Katniss and dumped the contents of his bagged lunch into her grease stained one, shoved the piece of meat and ration bread into his bag, walked by Katniss and handed her the lunch bag without saying a word. Their eyes met briefly, and Peeta could swear the entire world stood still. He watched her back as she headed down the hall away from the lunch room, grateful that she wasn't going to put herself through any more of Shep's torture, planning on what he'd say to her the next day when she discovered what he had done, hoping to God that she wouldn't yell at him like she did Shep.

The sudden shrill of the sirens announcing that there had been a mining accident caused a rash of goosebumps to spread across Peeta's skin, and his hairs to stand on end. Katniss paused mid-step, turned her head in the direction of the mines, dropped the lunch bag and rushed out of sight.

'I'm sorry Katniss,' Peeta rested his head against the hovercraft's wall while he thought of the day her father died. 'You never knew how worried I was did you? Never knew I picked up that bag you dropped and gave it to one of the other Seam kids at the mine because I was too sick to my stomach from fear of your father not coming up on the elevator, to eat?' The pain he felt in his gut was mixed with anger towards the man responsible for all of it. For the meager bits of food Katniss went to school with that day, for the deprived kids that lived in the Seam. For the miners that died due to poor working conditions, and Peeta silently vowed that he'd pay. 'I told you, Snow. You should have killed me while you had the chance.'

As the hovercraft touched down at the edge of the Capitol, Peeta stepped off of it, checked his watch, and scanned the surrounding area. 'Eighty-six hours and twenty-five minutes,' he quickly calculated the time period he had been apart from Katniss, not wanting to let another minute pass by. He was told by one of the squad leaders where to go, followed with his eyes where the man had pointed to, and saw Katniss sitting side by side with Gale, deep in conversation.

With each step he took towards her Haymitch's words kept going through his mind, "You two finish what you started." It was time to put an end to the Games once and for all.

Please feel free to follow me on tumblr and drop me a note. I am jamiesommers23. If you have a question, or would like to comment on something, that's the place to do it, as I do not answer questions on here. That is also the place you will find links to my rated M version of Road to Recovery. I have just added a ton of stuff to the story and would love for you to read it.

Thanks y'all! J