Disclaimer: I own nothing...

A/N: So the original chapter 17 I did got bumped and I've gone all crazy with the chapters I've done and what not... BUT I got this done so woo to hoo with an update before I have to go to work... My LAST shift for two weeks – how lovely!

THANK YOU for the amazing response to the last few chapters – don't expect an easy ride but, do expect intensity of ALL measures ;)

Beauty and the Beast – Chapter Seventeen

"Did they tell you how long I was going to be on suicide watch for?" Ana asked, praying that she was going to get some good news and not just more repercussions of her stupid actions. She hated this. God, how she hated this.

Flynn kept his distance from Ana, sat in a chair by her bed as she lay back hooked up to an IV and feeling more mournful to her actions than ever. "I'm afraid, Ana, that I can't put a limit on it."

"But you're my therapist," she stated hoping that fact would get her some leeway. "If I'm on suicide watch I'll never get out of here. I don't want to be trapped here forever."

"It won't be forever, Ana. It's a precautionary thing we have to do in order to make sure you're safe," Flynn told her with ever growing concern. "It was a stretch to allow you to have the IV tubing put back in but, your physical health is as important to us as your mental health."

Ana just licked her lips and nodded. She might have placed a scalpel to her throat but, she could honestly not think of anything worse than tying the tubing around her neck and finding a way to strangle herself. She had made a mistake. She had done it on impulse and now everything around her was apparently an aid to her suicide.

She could get angry but, she was the one that had led them to taking extreme measures to protect her from herself.

"Grace is leading your watch," Flynn admitted and immediately saw Ana relax and gain a little more acceptance. "It's a little more unorthodox for her to do so but, between your surgeon, Grace and I we all know she has your best interest at heart. You're in the safest hands with her around."

"That's how I felt when they brought me in," Ana whispered and then rubbed her forehead to try and just comprehend what was going to happened in the next few days. Whilst Grace had tended to her wounds, she had watched a nurse take from her room everything she could use to hurt herself and now she was left with practically nothing in the room. Half of the stuff she didn't even have a clue how to kill herself with.

Maybe she wasn't as desperate as she had first thought.

"You're looking a little distant," Flynn cut into her thoughts and she looked at him slowly. "What's on your mind?"

"How much effort it feels to try and kill myself," she admitted softly to him and bit her lip nervously, scared that one of these moments she would say the wrong thing and get detained for the rest of her life. However, Flynn remained silent and contemplative as he silently coerced her to continue, "Want to tell me what you were feeling when you ran to that room?" Flynn asked, knowing that Ana to confront her issues and start to confront some of her demons.

"I felt alone," Ana whispered and sniffled as her fears began to rise up. "My parents weren't here, my friends weren't, and with Christian, it felt like he was growing further away from me. I just felt like if I wasn't here anymore it wouldn't be a problem."

Ana looked up and over to Christian as he stood outside talking to his mother and her vision swam in front of her eyes, her nostrils flared to cull the tears and stop them from falling into their individual free falls. He had admitted everything to her. He had told her what her parents were lovingly doing, she had found out that Kate wasn't dealing and Elliot was trying to form some way to get her to see sense. Mia was unable to get back for at least another day and Grace was still, primarily, a paediatric doctor first.

Everyone had valid reasons but, Ana had failed to think rationally and see them. Now she felt stupid and embarrassed.

"Can we, erm, can we move on?" Ana asked and knew that Flynn would mentally jot this down as something to go back to on a later date.

"Sure," Flynn agreed with ease. "How do you feel about the surgery in a few days?" Flynn asked and he could see fear literally detonate in Ana's eyes. "I see it scares you," he assumed loosely and she looked down, literally affirming his suspicions. "What scares you?"

Ana wrung her hands together nervously, "The entire thing. I don't like the idea of going under. I mean anything could happen and I wouldn't get a chance to make it right. I hated how I felt when I woke up the other time. I'm scared to feel it again." She admitted all of those freely but, the last claim hurt the most, "What if it fails?" She asked, her eyes wide with sheer fear as she looked up at Flynn. "What if it's all for nothing?"

Flynn's gaze had to soften, "Everything is worth a try once isn't it?" He asked her and saw the she saw sense in his words. "If this works, even if just a little, you'll heal with a slightly more minimalistic scars than before. Isn't that worth it?"

"I'll still have scars," she feared and began to cry. "I know everyone is here to help but, I will still have to live with scars. It terrifies me to be left with them and to get rid of them." Ana hissed with confusion, her hands threading into her hair, pushing it out of her face completely. "I feel so lost still at what would be the right thing to do."

"Understandable," Flynn countered and sat up straight ready to divulge some more information. "Christian has been researching every opportunity he gets and he has lists of people who are willing to help, but until you're ready and don't feel pushed he isn't going to mention it to you," Flynn alerted Ana sensitively.

"What?" Ana asked confused, "What has he found?"

"When you're healed you'll be more eligible to scar revision," Flynn began and leant forward, elbows to knees, hands clasped together. "It's basically scar reduction. It's not always a direct cure but, the outcomes are usually extraordinarily successful. Patients have barely any scarring left and they feel like they can live again. Christian has been in contact with a few people that are willing to fly in."

"I won't get made to do it will I?" Ana asked with trepidation, because as much as she wanted it, she knew it would kill her to be forced into it. "They all said I would be me even with scars."

"He has people on standby," Flynn stalled her worry, "He isn't doing anything until you give it the green light. He won't force you or make you feel like you have to do it. If after the newest surgery you want to go through with it after your recovery then they will come here for a consult."

"Okay," Ana breathed out trying to calm herself. "Is it right that I feel so confused right now, John?" Ana asked and her voice shuddered a little, "I don't want scars but, I don't want the get them removed to just be accepted. I don't want to feel like I have to get rid of them." She let tears fall then at how lost she felt, "But I don't want to be an outcast forever."

"Ana, you do not have to do anything to please the world," Flynn told her softly. "You do not have to do this for anyone but, yourself." He watched her nod in agreement, "I, personally, think you're strong enough to take on the world scars and all because I know you're that type of person. I know I only met you a few times before this happened but, I have studied people and their behaviours my entire career. You will get through this and you will make something amazing from it," he told her, profiling her in his mind as he spoke. "Ana, you won't let this destroy you. I know you don't see that right now but, there will come a point when you know if you want to be an inspiration or not."

"I'm not one if I'm trying to commit suicide," Ana fought back, hating the memory in her mind and the words on her lips. "How can I inspire people when the moment I got a chance I just wanted to cave and give in?"

"Because you stopped," Flynn said and watched Ana look at him in shock. He noticed she started to breathe heavier, her eyes going to search Christian out just outside her room. "What's wrong?"

Ana bit her lip before speaking, "That doesn't really make me strong does it?"

"Yes, it does. There was something bigger in you that stopped that inner need to just die. Something stopped you from going through with this entirely. That shows strength," Flynn spoke with his personal perspective.

"Christian," Ana said with a wistful smile and then her smile trembled and she began to cry heavily. "He loves me regardless of this and I can't, I just can't believe it's true. How can he love me when I'm just proving how weak I'm becoming?"

"Ana, don't push for anyone but you with this," Flynn sympathised and even though he was trying to support her, he could see that she was darkened ghost of herself. "You start to do that and you'll only find yourself wanting to escape."

Ana just nodded, unable to find anymore words. Everything that had occurred, everything she had done had finished her and she was ready to say goodbye to today and wake up in the morning to a brand new day. Maybe if she tried hard enough she could out sleep her recovery.

A wishful thinkers dream wasn't going to save her.

Flynn cleared his throat, "I think we're done here for today, Ana," Flynn told her and stood up, giving her a smile. "I will be back tomorrow but, I think you've had an exhausting day." He sat on the bed for a moment, "Even though you are seeing me tomorrow, if you need me, for anything, call me. I will listen to you always."

"Thank you," Ana whispered and allowed the doctor to go and even though she felt like a major weight had been lifted from her and in turn she felt exhaustion. She looked up just as Christian came into the room. "You do know I'm sorry right?"

"Ana, I know," he replied and sat on the bed with her. "You don't have to keep looking for my forgiveness. I'm here and I'm ready and willing to help you." Christian took her hands in his and held them tightly, "You do realise that right? You do know I am going to be here through thick and think. I will be here for every single moment of this."

"I know," Ana smiled and closed her eyes and was silent for a moment. She just let the tears fall and she just let Christian's words snake into every membrane of her brain and work as a way to numb ever malignant influence.

"You okay?" He asked her, worried at how silent she had become suddenly. Then he remembered that Flynn had just left and he knew from personal experience just how exhausted he felt after a session with the good doctor.

Opening her eyes, she just nodded at him, "I just want to sleep," Ana admitted feebly. She wiped her face free of the tears knowing that life right now was going to keep feeling like an uphill battle until she faced every single one of her demons – and there was a lot of them she had to get through.

Getting up off the bed as she began to lay down, he helped her. "You don't have to fight the world alone, Baby," Christian solemnly vowed as he lifted the sheets to allow her to lie down. He went to sit down and felt Ana grab his hand. Taking the notion to heart, he pulled his chair as close to the bed as humanly possible and looked into her wide, doleful eyes intently, before repeating his own forlorn pledge, "I won't ever let you fight this world alone."

As she closed her eyes, she tried to believe that and take it to heart.

But, she was the condemned one. Christian wasn't.