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Beauty and the Beast – Chapter Eighteen

"She's gotten too deep," Grace spoke with Carla and Ray as they stood outside Ana's hospital room. They were watching in on their children as they slept soundly. "She cut herself quite deeply on her throat so she's back under observation there but, it's more her mental state we need to keep monitoring."

"I can't believe she would do this," Carla tried to stop herself from crying as she spoke those words.

"Ana wasn't thinking rationally. She already regrets doing it and she has already taken responsibility of her actions and had a long session with Flynn. He's going to come by every day whilst she is here and then he is going to help with the transition once we get Ana home." Grace was the first to jump in and defend Ana, "She felt like she was very alone. You two weren't here, I wasn't either because I was up on Paediatrics, Kate hasn't been by. Christian has been stuck trying to find a motive and evidence to get Kaitlyn convicted. She felt alone and thought she would grant us all a free pass. She see's that was wrong now."

She saw the same look on Carla and Ray's face that she had felt herself.

"C'mon, I'll tell you everything Christian, Jason and Luke told me," Grace said and guided Ray and Carla away from Ana's doorway so she didn't hear everything.

Hearing everyone leave, Ana rolled over to be met with grey eyes and she wanted to smile but, felt she couldn't. Like she didn't deserve to smile after everything she had done.

"Do they hate me?" She whispered her question at him and she could feel her tears begin. "My mom never raised me to be a coward and that's what I feel I've become. I'm scared of everything and everyone and all I wanted to do was just end it all. She didn't raise that daughter. Do they hate me, Christian?"

"No," Christian moved in then, grabbing her hand and taking it in his. "No, Baby, they're just upset right now."

"I'm turning into such a disappointment," she wallowed and sniffled on her tears. "I never wanted to be that. I only ever wanted to make them proud."

"You dropped the scalpel remember?" Christian asked her, pointing out that major detail. "You were strong enough to give up. You didn't commit to it. You didn't follow through on your suicide."

Suicide – that one term alone rose fear in a person to immeasurable levels. Even thinking about it now, Ana wanted to take the easy route out but, she had too much to live for. She had too much of a prospective life with Christian to give up so easily.

And if Kaitlyn was the culprit to this then she didn't want her to win.

"I feel like a letdown," Ana whispered at him, her fingers tightening their grip a little onto his.

"I know it's hard but, you can't keep bullying yourself over this, baby. What's done is done and we can only decide how we move on from it all. In my mind, you didn't go through with it. Therefore, you didn't sin, you weren't a letdown. You showed me you didn't want to do it when you dropped that damn scalpel."

"I saw you fall to your knees like I had already done it," she confessed, staring at him to gauge his reaction. "I couldn't do it. I saw what I was doing and I realised you loved me, Christian. You wouldn't have reacted like that otherwise." She looked at him and saw how much his love was woven into his expression like a rich tapestry. He meant everything he did and she hoped he felt the same when he looked at her. "Can I ask you something?"

"Sure," Christian replied with ease. "What do you want to ask?"

"How did you know I loved you?" Ana asked, her hand still in his, her eyes dropping down to look at them.

"Remember when you found out I had been stalking you, for better use of the word, in that bar?" Christian asked, dragging up a memory from the first few months of months of their relationship. "And you tricked that guy brilliantly?"

Ana giggled her first real giggle since this happened as she remembered that day. It wasn't a complete Ana laugh but, Christian would take what he could right now.

"Is this wise?" Taylor asked as he sat with his boss in a bar, trying to look inconspicuous in the crowd. "I mean, she loves you and trusts you, why can't you just do the same?"

"Because I just want to be sure I'm not setting myself up to be a fool here," Christian replied, scared of a bad outcome.

"Ana isn't Kaitlyn," Taylor pointed and saw that Christian understood that but, found himself in too deep to just back away. "I hope this works out how you want it too and you're put on your arse for being a secretive bastard."

Christian offered a grin but, only because he did have faith in Ana not to break his heart. He had never classified himself as a class A stalker but, since a messy break up he found himself compelled to do so. However, watching Ana out on a night out with Kate and Elliot was proving entertainment. After being cheated on once, he knew this was the only way he would know if Ana was serious about her love for him. He just hoped she didn't hate him for it.

"Hi I'm Steve," Some random man said as he stood next to Ana.

"Hi, I'm not interested," Ana said and turned on her stool. God, why did Kate run off with Elliot?

Apparently Steve didn't know when a girl was turning him down because he walked to Ana's side. "C'mon on, Sugar, what's your name?"

Rolling her eyes, "Ana," she told him with the most uninterested tone possible. "I'm kind of busy here."

"I saw," he laughed. "Girl, you sure know how to occupy a bar."

Ana groaned, picked her drink up and down so more alcohol to numb herself from this guy's idea of flirting. It worried her what men actually classified as flirting in their minds. "Are you going to let me get on with, you know, occupying the bar?"

"With my company," he told her with a smirk. "That's the only way I'm going to leave, princess. When I see something I like then I have to go for it. I don't let it stray."

"Right," Ana told him, spinning the glass around in her hand thoughtful. "So not only am I now a thing, you did just compared me to something that would stray. Kinder like a dog!" Ana sarcastically retorted and laughed. "You really know how to woo a woman."

"Hey now, lady, that's not what I said," he backed off as he realised she was feistier than she looked. From afar she looked timid and tame, a shy brunette. Up close and personal she was a bit of a cat. "Go on, just give me a chance. I'm pretty sure I could rock your world."

Ana scoffed – there was no way he could do such a thing. "Okay, Steve, let me run this show."

"Oh an independent woman is such a turn on," Steve rubbed his hands together in glee. "Okay, gorgeous, have some fun."

Ana smirked, deciding to play this with perfected sexiness and utter calmness. She knew what she was doing and she was going to enjoy it. Grabbing a piece of ice from her glass she banged it onto the sides to rid of alcohol and then began to suck on it, smirking to herself at what was to come.

"Damn girl that is hawt," the creep began to speak watching her then run it down her neck as if to cool herself down. She then dropped it into the glass of ice and stood up. Steve thought he was getting lucky.

Licking her lips in anticipation, Ana stepped forward, "You seem like a nice guy, Steve but," she didn't say thing, she merely grabbed a hold of his penis and balls so hard his face contorted as she robbed him of his manliness in one swift grab. "I'll let you know that I am no man's idea of a one night stand and you won't be the lucky first."

Steve just made a gurgling noise as he tried to beg her to let him go. He was losing dignity with each breath his struggled to inhale.

"My man's in this room watching right now and I hope he saw all of this," she released Steve's manhood and allowed him to fall into one of the bar stools. She patted his cheek and smirked, "Now, be a good sex pest and watched what is never going to be yours walk away."

With that she walked away knowing that there were a few sets of eyes on her now. She didn't care about them; it was Christian she was more concerned with and she could always feel his eyes on her. It sent a sensual rush through her body and made her feel strangely aroused. Now she wanted to get home and sober up the way her man always made her.

As she entered into the night air, she felt the alcohol in her system take full effect on her and she decided to be sensible and wait on a cab. However, it seemed someone had different ideas. Being pressed against the wall, Ana remembered looking at those grey eyes and greedily getting lost in them. All she could read was a man who claimed a woman as his.

He'd seen it all apparently.

Ana couldn't resist resting there with her eyes closed, remembering the way he kissed her. The force of it was severe and overpowering she felt the air literally sucked from her lungs with it. Her heart ballooned and blossomed and she knew what she had done had been the best show Christian Grey had ever had in his life.

What he didn't seem to realise was that she would do it to every man. She was in love and no man was going to change that opinion.

"I knew I loved you from that first day," Ana whispered and finally opened her eyes to stare at him. "I knew from the way you said my name that I simply couldn't just let myself walk away."

Christian smirked, "Anastasia." He said applying the emphasis onto the last part of her name. He leaned in and took her hand, "You do know we have so many memories like that to make right?" He asked her, "I'm not done with you. A lifetime with you isn't nowhere near long enough, Ana. I won't ever bore of you or your beauty." He knew the doubt in her mind would take more than a few loveable anecdotes to get rid of but, Christian was only speaking from his heart.

"I wish we had shared all this before now with our family," Ana told him sorrowfully wishing that the joys her and Christian had shared together had been well known.

"Me too, baby. Especially with Kate because that girl can't cope with lies," Christian joked with her. He hated that Kate was so distant and with it Elliot but, he had to believe that she would be coming by soon and if not, then he was going to find her.

"I want to know something," Ana suddenly spoke up, her tone croaky and weary.

"What's that?" Christian asked, willing to answer anything. There were no bars on secrets now. He was done with secrets unless they were necessary – like when he was ready to pop the question to Ana.

Ana looked up with watering eyes, "Why isn't Kate here? I mean you said she knows so why isn't she here? I thought I was her friend. She should be here right now. I want to tell her everything but, I can't. I need my best friend."

There was an eight million dollar question – Why wasn't Kate here?