Chapter Three:
Direction

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokémon in any way, shape, or form. The only "ownership" I can claim are the personalities and my interpretation of how Pokémon look in a more realistic light, but other than that...yeah, I don't own anything on them. XD I do, however, own my original characters and writings, unless otherwise stated. In an exceptional case, a few special OCs belong to their respective owners, I'm merely borrowing them for the story that's to unfold. I'll point them out when their time to show up comes. :3

OoOoOoOoOoO

Where is the end, is the edge of understanding?
I might think it's overrated or can't take the mind expanding
Give me a pint, a little push in one direction
I might need a little help with my own interconnection
-"What's in the Middle" by The Bird and the Bee

OoOoOoOoOoO

"How can you stand wearing that coat? It's so hot out!"

Lupin peeped her eyes open at the voice, seeing Phillip approaching to her left. She cleared her throat, sitting up a little more in her seat, adjusting the coat to cover her tail a little more. She'd had too many close calls and had resorted to wearing it all the time now. It didn't help that the damned thing was kind of big, either.

"I don't really feel the heat getting to me. Feels nice out," she replied back. She shifted her gaze out to the open field around them. Behind the lab, there were fences and corrals to keep the pokémon from wandering or running off by accident, but plenty of wide open spaces, courses, and even trees to romp about in. Several trainers who had gotten starters from Professor Elm tended to send their pokémon to the lab when they weren't boxed, mostly for his study. It helped the pokémon, their trainers, and the professor and his assistant in their research. Or that's what Lupin's been told. It seemed like a rather beneficial circle.

She took a mental account of all the pokémon that had been sent outside for the day—including the professor's study pokémon—and noted they were all there, just like they were there fifteen minutes ago, and fifteen minutes before that.

The watch had been tightened since Totodile's impromptu escape from a few days ago, and today Lupin was keeping an eye on things. She kept an especially watchful eye on the blue-scaled pokémon. Occasionally, she'd catch him watching her just as sharply. She sometimes wanted to smack that little crooked grin off his smug snout—if she could, that is.

Her hands twitched and fiddled with a book in her lap, the pages rustling. For once, she had decided not to drag her journal—who else could it be but hers?—out for the day, and instead forced herself to choose something else. It was one of many books that was lying around the lab, and she hadn't really read the cover when she grabbed it. Nor had she really been reading, but she figured getting her mind off things should be priority. At least, that's what she was trying to do, anyway.

"So, everything going good out here, nothing unusual, I hope?"

"No, not really. Some wild bird pokémon flitting around, but they aren't attacking or anything. Which is good, I guess?"

"As long as they're not Spearow. Pidgey we don't have to worry too much about. They occasionally come by and play with the others, but Spearow are a little more aggressive. I'd be more worried from an attack by them."

Lupin thought for a moment, mind working on registering the names and faces together: Spearow, a mean-looking little bird with rusty red, brown and black feathers and Pidgey, a little cream-and-brown feathered bird with a gentler nature. She had noticed flocks of the former, although none ever came too close to the lab. They tended to stay closer toward the forest not far from New Bark Town, although some individuals roamed about here and there. Pidgey, on the other hand, were opportunistic little buggers, and were everywhere.

Her fingers continued to rub along a page she had pinched between them. It gathered the taller man's attention and he glanced down, grinning. "Reading something new, I see. What is it? 'Battle Tactics for the Beginning Trainer'…" He paused, rubbing his chin. "That reminds me…the police called the other day."

Lupin stiffened, tilting her head to look up at him. She waited for him to continue. Her patience paid off.

"The information they said they'd gotten from your dog tags…they don't match the format of any known military unit in any region. Looks like you're just wearing personalized tags. And…unfortunately, it looks like no one's put in any missing persons report out for you. I'm sorry, I meant to tell you the other day, but the professor and I got engrossed in our work."

She felt her stomach slithering lower into her abdomen in disappointment. That sour taste in the back of her mouth returned, the same from the day she had had no luck with Ms. Joan and her Gardevoir. Phillip sighed, reaching up to run a hand through his dark hair, a frown pulling his lips down as he regarded her apologetically. Lupin didn't meet his gaze and instead, dropped it to the words scattered across the book she had been trying in vain to read.

"It doesn't look like you're even a registered trainer. No name, no facial recognition, nothing's popping up. So you don't have a license to be a trainer, and you're most likely not an intern or assistant in a lab, either. It…I'm sorry to say, it looks like you're back at square one."

Well, that made her feel even more miserable and she started to shut the book, ready to ask if he could stay and watch the pokémon for the rest of the afternoon. She wanted to be alone, or to wander somewhere, to do anything, to busy herself with anything other than thinking on this news.

"I know I keep saying it, but I am sorry, for bringing you such bad news, but…I do have some good news."

That gave her pause and she dared to lift her gaze back up again to meet his. There was a small smile decorating his lips, one that promised a tiny ray of hope.

"Despite all that's come to light…the professor has put in to register you as a junior assistant associated with the lab. It just entails to helping out around the lab, working with the pokémon, and occasionally doing errands or using the pokémon for research. It's temporary, of course, until you find out who you are, I mean."

Well, that was a spot of good news, even if she didn't quite get it. You have to have a license to handle pokémon…?

"Of course, you can only handle the pokémon if it's for the lab. If you want a trainer's license, you'd need to go to Violet City, where the schoolhouse is. Every course is about three weeks long, and they're always going on. Most people go through when they're children, that way they're registered beforehand and don't have to be delayed in getting their pokémon for their journeys, whatever they may be," Phillip continued, as though taking cue from her quietness. He hesitated, however, and added, "But…you know this already, don't you?"

Lupin shook her head, feeling a little miffed that she didn't. Should she have known all this? She wasn't sure, she couldn't recall. It didn't sound familiar at all.

"Oh, wow. You really are empty of everything. I mean…I didn't mean it like that, just…general knowledge of things, is all I meant." He rubbed at the back of his head, sighing. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to be rude and make it sound like you're stupid. I can tell you're intelligent. You get the gist of things rather quickly, but you just seem…so lost on a lot. Like pokémon, in general."

"Maybe a visit to that schoolhouse would be favorable for me in the future, then." She said with a sigh, glancing up at the romping pokémon, taking a mental account of everyone, then nodded, satisfied that they were all there.

"Maybe. You wouldn't be able to battle any gym leaders in the future if you did choose to leave."

"Gym leaders?"

For some reason, her mind conjured up the image of a body builder hefting weights at the words 'gym leader'.

"Elite trainers who own battle arenas that tailor to a specific pokémon type, such as fire or water or grass. There are eighteen pokémon types, and not all of them are singularly devoted to just one element. Some are duel-types, such as dark and fire, ice and psychic, or grass and poison. So on and so forth. Just recently, the fairy type was discovered, helping even out the list from seventeen to eighteen. A few pokémon have been identified under this category, and I'm sure there are plenty more out there. Whitney, the gym leader over in Goldenrod City, was rather ecstatic, although she's kept her original title as a gym leader of normal types. Shame, really, she could have become the first fairy-type gym leader known worldwide."

Phillip chuckled, although Lupin's rather neutral expression remained largely the same. She looked back down to the book in her lap, before noticing a pair of eyes watching her from the ground beside her feet. She jumped in surprise, the pages in her book fluttering as she was met with the crooked little grin of Totodile. He pushed himself to his hind legs, cocking his head at her, yellow eyes gleaming in the sunlight.

"You—go away. Go play. Shoo." She scowled when he didn't move. Phillip laughed beside her.

"Hey, there, Totodile. Sneaky thing, aren't you? Don't get used to it. One day you'll evolve into a Feraligatr. Won't be so easy to sneak around being a giant blue lizard. Well, except for maybe in lakes and rivers, that is. As long as they're not too murky or muddy. Blue doesn't work too well against brown."

"Crocodilian," Totodile corrected, although Phillip didn't seem to hear or understand. Lupin resisted the urge to pin her ears against her head. It would only skew her hat and she was surprised she hadn't done so sooner with Phillip. Totodile shuffled closer, sticking his snout up against her hand, the book, snuffling pointedly. "What're you reading? Show me."

"You rude thing, back off." She scowled again, pulling her book out of his reach. He gave a reptilian glower aimed at her and snapped his jaws in displeasure. She narrowed her mismatched eyes at him, not daring to flinch under that gaze.

"Easy, there, Totodile, you've got sharp teeth. You don't want to bite her by accident. C'mere, you rascal," Phillip said, circling around the chair Lupin was seated at to pick up the pokémon. Totodile let out a long-suffering sigh as Phillip lifted him up. "You don't mind him sitting with you, do you? He seems to be the only one not overly skittish when it comes to you lately."

Lupin was tempted to say no, but swallowed it back down in a hurry and instead shook her head. He'd never leave her alone if she simply tried avoiding him. She lifted her book out of the way and the reptile was lowered onto her lap. He immediately curled up, settling comfortably and she lowered back down the book and flipped the cover for him to see.

"'Battle Tactics for the Beginning Trainer'. Do you plan on battling other trainers someday?" He tilted his head to glance at her, a sly look in those yellow eyes. She caught a glimpse of red in there too, a bright crimson colour. His sclera was what was yellow, then. Not his iris. She had mistakenly thought it all yellow with a black iris. It was a startling contrast.

She kept quiet at his inquiry, however, flipping the cover back down and to the page she had been previously trying to finish. He seemed to get the message, almost as soon as the silence continued to drag on without answer. He snorted, as though annoyed, but said nothing further. Phillip didn't stay much longer and soon left with a quiet goodbye, and a reminder that it was almost time to start corralling the other pokémon back inside. She gave a noncommittal response in return, knowing she had roughly over an hour left of daylight.

"You didn't answer my question," he finally stated after Phillip was gone. "Do you plan on battling someday?"

He was watching her, no longer pretending to be interested in the book in her hands. She sighed.

"I plan on traveling around, yes. I doubt I'm going to get very much headway staying here at the lab, however nice the perks have been. Shelter, food, a job. If someone I know is elsewhere and they don't know what's happened, I'll need to leave and find them."

"Do you plan on travelling alone, then? It seems like that's the way you were when we found you. You had no pokémon on you and even if you did…it'd be illegally so." He made that soft rattling laughter in the back of his throat. "I overheard that there's been no leads with the police. You're a female with no name, no face, no license. You'd need to get that license to travel more fully than on an assistant lab tech's permit."

"Quit trying to invite yourself. I'm not taking you. Or any of the others. If I was traveling alone without any Pokémon, I must have had a good reason."

If I'm not human, than that alone must've been good reason. Alone, I can probably take care of myself.

Her thoughts were punctured through like a hot knife through butter by the rattling laughter and shaking body in her lap. "Do you expect me to believe you'll fight off wild Pokémon on your own? With what, your bare hands? You don't smell human, but you certainly look it. A flock of Spearow would eat you alive if they had a mind and taste for it. You're tiny for a person, but poison type pokémon are tinier. A Spinarak or Weedle would stab you in the foot and you'd never know it until you collapsed from its poison, too far from medical centers to get help."

He regarded her with those glimmering, sunlit-struck eyes and the crimson set in gold seemed to burn brighter now. That crooked jaw seemed to grow even more crooked, white teeth sticking out sharply and she knew if she touched them, they'd break skin, calloused or not.

"You'll need someone who isn't afraid of you. You look human, but you don't smell it and most pokémon will be able to tell right on the spot after a good whiff of your scent. A trainer's pokémon might be polite about it and pretend everything is all right, for the most part. But a wild one will attack because you're a threat. You'll need a mediator between them and you. You need me."

His words rang and echoed in her ears and skull, rattling about until their comprehension smacked her hard like a sucker punch to the gut. Her brows drew up into a scowl, teeth clenching into a tight grimace as she peeled her lips back and she knew—she knew—he saw the flash of her fangs. Fangs too big for a small mouth like hers, too big for a human but she saw nothing in those cold eyes, no flicker of fear or anxiety to account for. Just curiosity.

"I do not need you. I do not need them," she stabbed at the field where the pokémon romped and played for emphasis, her words coming in short hisses. She stood suddenly, book in hand, Totodile tumbling to the ground and landing on his side. He made an offended croaking noise, tail whipping like an agitated cat's would. She picked up the folded lawn chair she'd brought out, snapping it shut and tucking it under her other arm. "When I go, it will be alone. If I was alone when you found me, it was for a reason. I might not remember, but it must've been a damned good one, especially if it spared me the rudeness of little brats like you for traveling company."

She felt those reptilian eyes on her backside as she started for the lab, the grass plush and soft under her boots, but she barely noticed how well-kept and manicured the lawn was. She could only feel the heat of embarrassment rising up in her at having allowed the sneaky little Totodile get under her skin. But she kept telling herself what she'd told him as well: I was alone for a reason.

The only thing she couldn't figure out, the frustrating thing she couldn't remember was why had she been alone in the first place?

OoOoOoOoOoO

True to Phillip's word, Professor Elm had indeed registered Lupin for an assistant lab researcher's permit. It came three days after he'd told her. It allowed her to officially represent Professor Elm's lab, his research, and more importantly, handle his pokémon. Of course, others were allowed the same rights, but they were all registered as trainers. Children who were on the cusp of gaining their licenses via the schoolhouse in Violet City would either gain pokémon from their parents or, alternatively, gain a starter from Professor Elm.

"Not every trainer starts out with a Bulbasaur, Squirtle, or Charmander in Kanto. And the same can be said of beginning trainers in Johto. They don't all start with a Chikorita, Totodile or Cyndaquil. Some start with a Meowth or Growlithe, or Eevee, Marill, Caterpie, Pidgey or Sentret, so on and so forth. Some inherit pokémon from their parents. Other times, parents get a friendly pokémon specifically tailored to small children, to indoctrinate them at an early age before giving them full responsibility of that pokémon. Other times, they're sent here to pick out a starter."

Lupin was only half-listening as she distributed food into bowls for the nightly feeding, although she nodded as the Professor continued.

"And not every trainer is out to challenge the League over at Indigo Plateau. Not every trainer is interested in collecting gym badges. Some are more interested in day care programs for pokémon, breeding them, or raising them specifically for certain lifestyles, like gardening, livestock and dairy, or even for research purposes." He laughed and she glanced over her shoulder to see his pointed, yet kindly stare. She turned back to finishing up filling the bowls before stowing the food away in the cabinet with a faint nod.

"Does everyone who travels have to have pokémon?" She queried.

He frowned at her, hesitating before answering as he joined in picking up bowls to help with the feeding. "Not necessarily. But why would someone travel without pokémon?"

"Personal choice?"

"It'd be very dangerous, but…I don't think it's completely farfetched. Pokémon and humans have lived side by side for thousands of years. The relationship between the two has become a symbiotic one; we aren't completely and utterly dependent on them or them on us. I'm sure we could do well on our own without them, and vice versa. But it would make it incredibly difficult without the helpfulness that they provide in our daily lives," he finally admitted.

There was a pause in the conversation as they dropped off the first bowls for the group of pokémon: first the Professor's lab pokémon, who shied away from Lupin, except Totodile. He shuffled forward on his hind legs, regarded her with those yellow and crimson eyes, gave off his rattling laugh and dipped his snout into the bowl without a word. The others only approached after she stepped away, albeit warily and watching her with sharp, mistrusting eyes. She turned back to the workbenches, where the rest of the bowls were.

"Come to think of it, you were alone when I found you. No pokéballs, no pokémon, nothing whatsoever. Just the clothes on your back and what you had in your pockets. It's all very strange." Professor Elm frowned deeply, brow furrowing as he pushed his glasses back up the bridge of his nose. He turned heel to follow the woman back to the workbench.

"Maybe it was for a reason?" I was alone, alone for a reason, but for what reason, and why?

"Perhaps…but maybe something had happened to your pokémon. Something happened to you, that's for sure, and I don't think it's just the amnesia. There're no records of you anywhere, or so I'm being told. Maybe somebody deleted your records, or they're withholding them."

That was certainly conspiracy theory-worthy. It did make her pause in picking up the next set of bowls, but it was brief and barely noticeable.

"Or maybe I fell out of the sky," she joked. A beat passed and the professor laughed.

"Of course. Perhaps you were riding on the back of an ancient and rare pokémon that had plucked you up from some unknown land and dropped you here and stole away your memories," he retaliated teasingly in kind. It helped ease the tension somewhat, dissipating the myriad of bad theories and thoughts that were beginning to form.

They finished feeding the pokémon and afterwards, corralled them back into their respective quarters to sleep the night away. When the last of them was safely put away, Lupin made for her makeshift room, bidding the professor goodnight.

Behind the relative safety of a closed door, she peeled away the leather coat she'd been wearing for a majority of the day. It was soft and supple, but durable enough to withstand wear and tear. It looked like it had endured plenty of it over what she could only assume several years' worth. Her tail cricked and swayed, the muscles in her back feeling stiff from forcing it to remain still for a majority of the day. She knew the coat wasn't completely foolproof, of course. The tail could be spotted from between her legs from the front, but for all people could know, the coat could be furry on the inside. Or something. Nobody's made mention of it yet.

Maybe they even thought it was some sort of tail-hitched-to-back-of-pants fetish. Whatever worked, she was fine with it. She wasn't going to be particularly picky at this point. She removed her hat next, and her ears stretched and swiveled, pinning to the side of her head, just as stiff from their confinement. Then she started on her daily ritual before bed, grabbing a pair of loose cotton pants and a loose t-shirt, then ducking into the connected bathroom to shower and brush her teeth. It was late when she finally stepped back into the makeshift bedroom. There was a pullout couch in the room, although from the scent of it, it wasn't used very often. Not this one, anyway. There was a more often used one in the professor's office, and another in Phillip's. This was probably used for guests, and the last one…

Well, it's been a long while since guests had stayed, that was for sure.

Slipping under the thick comforter, she curled up, bunching a bundle to wedge between her legs as she rolled onto her side. She sighed, eyes darting around the room as they adjusted abnormally quickly to the darkness of the room. She could make out the edges of the walls, light switch by the door, the desk and its various booklets and paperwork piled on top. If she wanted, she could probably read every word in this darkness without repercussions to her eyesight.

She remembered it being written in the journal that werewolves had perfect night vision. It almost seemed like something out of a fable or a story, and not real life. And yet here was the living evidence: fangs, claws, ears, tail. Great ears, eyesight, nose…

And then there was that whole deal with the full moon.

She hadn't thought of that, and suddenly a panic hit her and she sat up, stumbling out of bed and toward the window and throwing the blinds up. They rattled and beat against one another, one side skewing as she yanked the cord, the other dipping dangerously low. She pressed her forehead against the cool glass, eyes searching for the moon. Already, the stars were glittering coldly in the dark sky, but she could see no moon. It was bright out, though. That meant it was close. It had to be. But she needed to know how close.

She unlocked the window and threw it up before ducking through it. The grass was cool under her bare feet, and the air had a pleasant chill to it, although she paid neither much mind to either. She turned around to face back toward the lab, searching the sky above it and finally spotted the silvery-white disc, bloated and nearly full. Her heart skipped. Just a few more days. Just a few days and I…

She shuddered, swallowing thickly. She still found it hard to believe she'd turn into some flesh-eating monster.

Maybe it's an exaggeration. Maybe it's a metaphor for something else, maybe…

The sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach told her otherwise.

OoOoOoOoOoO