Disclaimer: I own nothing...
A/N: Sorry for the break in updates! I decided to take a day out and spend it with my brother as I don't see him as often as I would love to. Forgive me?
I hope you enjoy this and know how thankful I am for the support I have had with this story! It is being made into an original after much agreement – If you wanna see the change check out my author Facebook page – Author Kirsty-Anne Still – and you'll see my original stuff =)
Beauty and the Beast – Chapter Thirty-Two
"You're doing so well," Carla coached her daughter as they sat outside. It was barely even nine AM and with Christian having been called to work, Ana felt a need to try and go outside on her own. With her mother here and her father on his way, Ana felt a burst of pride rush through her system. If she was strong enough to do this it had to be a good sigh. Right?
Ana gave a forced smile, trying to believe it but, what he mother couldn't hear was her heart pumping so fast she was sure if it thrashed anymore against her rib cage then it would burst out for the world to see. God knew what she would be like when it came for her to leave the house without a bandage in place because, after all, wounds healed.
"You should be proud of yourself," Carla's hand wrapped around her daughter's a little more, keeping it from shaking. She knew this was a big step – sitting in public – but, she never doubted that her daughter wouldn't take it in her stride. "Real proud," she added and all she got was a head nod from Ana. "Stop bottling," Carla pressed, "A problem shared is a problem halved."
Ana knew right away her mother was right.
"I worry about life on the outside," Ana mentioned, making a hospital stay sound like a prison sentence. "Like how every single aspect of my life is going to just be changing and it's going to such a battle to get things on track."
"Well you do realise you have a family that loves you on your side?" Carla asked and Ana looked to her and nodded vigorously in response. "And you do know you have a man that loves you and will stick by you."
In that moment, Ana sucked in a difficult breath. Her mind swirled and drifted off for a moment, took her away from the main topic at hand, "I know he loves me," Ana spoke up softly. "I just wonder if love is enough," she admonished and took in a deep, soothing breath. "You know once these are off," she waved at her face, her hand gliding over the space before her neck and chest to apply emphasis. "What is he going to think when there is no hiding? I don't want to hide at home. Not in a place I should be me without threat. I don't want to worry that I am not enough with my scars. I just don't-"
"Ana, baby," Carla cut into her daughter's rambling and turned on the bench, taking Ana's hands in her. "You need to take a deep breath and look at this more objectively. He isn't going to leave when he sees those scars. He looks passed them. He loves them like he loves you. I know that. I see that. I've lived that with you. His love for you is undeniable and nothing is going to change that." She gave a small, comforting smile, "He loves you so much that you will be loved until the day you die. I'm confident in that and as your mother I shouldn't find any man good enough for you." She rose her hand up to catch her daughter's lone tear with the pad of her thumb, "But for Christian I do. I don't doubt a word that leaves his mouth and neither should you."
"I hope you're right," Ana whispered, a small smile curving onto her lips.
Carla leaned in, a self-assured grin plastered onto her lips, "I am right."
At that Ana did cave into a light giggle, knowing how pushy her mother was being and knew she wouldn't be like it if she didn't mean it. Ana just had find herself and then the self-doubt that shrouded her would begin to lift and disperse. Her family wouldn't lie to her and especially not right now.
"It's easier to believe you today," Ana admitted and she felt sheepish as she spoke that. "If you had said this to me days ago I would have laughed and told you where to go." She watched her mother laugh at her, "I am so sorry for everything I have put you through."
"Hey now," Carla started in a scolding manner. "You know that apologises are useless here. I have nothing to forgive you for, baby. You were, hell you still are, hurting and you snapped. You had to reach that point to realise that you were doing something wrong. Now look you at you," Carla could only smile at her daughter, "You make me so proud."
Flaring her nostrils as her eyes watered, Ana tried to calm herself, "I remember lying in that room and I could only see my mistakes. I couldn't believe I said everything I did especially to Ray. He is my father. There is no disputing that and I just threw it in his face. The same with you and Kate. I was on self-destruct and I hate myself for ever letting me sink that low. I am not that type of person that is malicious and I turned into some monster."
"You hit rock bottom," Carla reminded her and didn't show any animosity towards her daughter because the bottom line was that there wasn't one. "You know that now. You hit rock bottom quicker than some and there is only one way to go now."
"Up," Ana whispered out and took a deep breath. "I know it's not going to be a seven day fix to get out of this hole I'm in but, I don't want to be on the bottom anymore. I don't want to be like this forever."
"You won't be," Carla spoke with a bright smile, "You'll see. When you least expect it then you'll realise that you aren't there anymore and you'll surprise yourself." Carla gave her daughter a bright smile and a wink, "Believe me, Ana, it'll just happen."
"I hope so," Ana said and her gaze travelled to the right suddenly as she felt haunted by questioning gazes. She saw two girls together and quickly pulled Christian's hoody around her body whilst pushing the hair tugged behind her ear out to cover her cheek and some of her neck.
Noticing her daughter's suddenly shy behaviour, Carla turned in her seat and almost went crazy. "I have the good mind to go and shut those silly girls up," Carla sneered, staring directly at two females that kept looking at Ana with speculation. She wondered if Ana was getting ready to bolt.
"They can stare all they want," Ana mumbled not prepared to go running. Sitting there hidden was enough to keep her outside because she didn't want to be the hunted anymore. However much it agitated her to have people staring like she was circus freak show, all curious, all begging to know, Ana wasn't going to go and hide. "I'm not quite ready to go back to my room."
"Does that mean you're ready to come home?" Carla asked hopeful.
Ana hesitated for a moment, she halted and thought carefully, "That's a different story." She searched her mother's eyes for answers but, found none and had to trust her gut, "As much as I'm getting comfortable out here, I still don't like it much. I just know that going out of those front doors and going home is going to be scarier. I have nowhere to hide like I do here. I'm on my own."
"No, you are never going to be on your own. My sweet baby, you are never going to be alone out there. So please, never ever think you are going to be alone because I will be with you every step of the way. I will be there regardless, Ana. I know the big wide world is scary but, you have so much to give."
"I'm scared that I'll have to prove myself," Ana confessed and felt her eyes water all over again. What if no one wanted her outside of Christian and her family? What if she was never enough?
"The only person you ever have to prove yourself to is yourself," Carla offered her own philosophical motto. "Never be anything other than and never feel like you have to prove yourself to be accepted." She placed her hand to her daughter's chin, lifting her head so their eyes met, "Do you hear me? Never prove yourself to anyone who doesn't deserve it. Can you do that?"
"Yeah," Ana whispered back at her mother and then suddenly threw her eyes around her mother's neck, clinging on appreciatively. She couldn't fault how protected she felt by her family. She no longer felt like a victim to them. Apparently her breakdown had done more that shock Ana to the core. Hitting rock bottom had affected everyone and they were now treating her like she was Ana – their daughter, friend, soul mate.
Carla gave her daughter a gentle squeeze before relinquishing her hold, "C'mon, sweetheart, let's get back upstairs before people panic."
Without a word, Ana released her mother's hold completely, stood up and walked back up, partially the way with her hand in her mom's as if she was a child again and scared to get lost again. After all, wasn't that her fear now? Ana was terrified to get caught in a deadly rapture and never coming back again. She only let go of the hold as they neared her room and her sanctum was coming back to her.
Walking into the room, arms wrapped around herself she came to see Grace and Christian, panic rife in the air. She watched and listened to Christian just ranting off about Ana disappearing or worse and she gave a small smile, "I'm behind you, you silly man."
That paused the terror unravelling anymore.
"Ana! I was worried when I got here and you weren't," Christian said as he turned to face Ana. He went straight over to her, wrapping his arms around her the moment he could and just held her close to him for a moment. "I was scared."
"I was only outside," Ana told him and hugged him back. "Is everything okay at work?" She asked as pulled back and could see how the few minutes of disappearance had caused him such distress. "I went outside with my mom, okay? Please, Christian, stop looking so panicked."
"Sorry," he dissolved from his worrying height and took in her presence. "Work's fine. Just imbeciles unable to do their job properly," he joked as he led her back to the bed. "Feel better for being outside?"
Ana nodded, "I didn't run away from people this time."
"That's good," he spoke pleasantly, "You have no reason to run. If anyone they need to run from the wrath of me for ever making you feel the need to disappear."
"Playing hero I see, Mr Grey," Ana quipped and watched him lean in. He planted a soft kiss to her forehead before pulling away leaving her with a soft smile on her lips.
"Always," he confirmed her words and then kissed her on the lips. This kiss, unlike the one prior, was forceful, passionately fuelled and heavily laden with love and Ana just melted against him. She didn't care that their mothers were watching them, she just needed this welcome. "I love you," he whispered as he slowing, and unwillingly pulled away.
"I love you too but, you've made me want coffee now," she teased and licked her lips leisurely. She watched him chuckle and she looked to Grace, "Were you worried too?"
Grace nodded her head, "Of course." Grace gave a smile and then took a deep breath, "I have some good news."
"You do?" Ana asked, not sure what was coming next.
"We've reviewed your health and I think you're ready to go home today," Grace spoke with such optimism it filtered into the room, clawed at the walls and infected everyone around her. "Of course, John and myself will be checking in with regards to your mental status but, physically, you are strong enough to go home so we're going to allow you to recover at home, Ana. We feel you're ready to be discharged by lunch."
Except Ana wasn't ready to go home. Going outside in the hospital vicinity was one thing but, going outside to the rest of the general public shot up warning sirens and made Ana realise that she wasn't prepared at all.