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The following morning was extremely quiet in Stark Tower.
Esca was the first one up; per regulations, she started to make breakfast for the others. As she cooked, she felt a little lonely, seeing as Steve was usually here, talking to her.
Wanda descended the stairs after a while, a small smile on her face. The two girls didn't say much to each other as they contentedly chewed their chocolate-chip pancakes… a conversation didn't start when Vision came down, either.
Before long, Thor arrived, and though he thanked Esca for the food like he always did, he was unnerved by the silence and therefore remained quiet too…
Natasha then came down, refusing breakfast. She simply sat on a couch and stared at the wall angrily—when Clint arrived in the common area, he sat next to her.
Finally, Tony stumbled noisily down the stairs, groaning about his monster hangover. Esca couldn't help but laugh at his moaning and say, "Shouldn't you be sleeping, then?"
"Maybe," he acknowledged, "But I can't get back to sleep."
"Do you want me to help?"
"No thanks, blondie. I'm hungry. Maybe food will help." With that, Tony began scarfing down his plate of chocolate-chip pancakes.
Pietro then ran downstairs, swiping his plate off the counter and causing a lot of the napkins to go flying into the air. He and Clint both laughed seeing the disturbance he had caused, although Esca only rolled her eyes and began to pick up the mess.
"Have any of you seen Steve?" she asked. She was growing worried about the captain and hoped that Robbie's words weren't bothering him…
Everyone shook their heads.
Seeing this, Esca said, "All right, I'll be right back." And without waiting for anyone to comment, she grabbed Steve's breakfast and began ascending the stairs to his room.
When she was outside his door, Esca knocked softly. "Steve?" she called.
There was no answer.
"Steve, may I come in?"
Still nothing.
With a sigh, Esca quietly opened the door. The lights were off, and the curtains were drawn. He was probably asleep—but when she turned on the light, Steve wasn't there.
Esca swallowed, but figured that he was probably down at the gym. After all, he went there every morning after breakfast. Maybe he'd just decided to skip breakfast.
Knowing this was perfectly likely, she took the elevator down to the gym. But when the doors opened, that was empty too.
Left with no other choice except to check the garage for any missing vehicles, Esca made one last detour. When she arrived at the garage, all of Tony's cars were present and accounted for—but Steve's motorcycle was gone.
Esca put a hand to her forehead and returned to the common area. She knew he might just be out for a drive or perhaps went out for breakfast for a change. There were many explanations for where he could be—but Esca still worried. He hadn't seemed himself after hearing where James was. She suspected that he might go to Salt Lake City…
When Esca returned to the common area, everyone could tell by her pale face that she didn't find Steve anywhere. "I think… he's going to Salt Lake City," murmured Esca. She didn't know what to do, except wait for him to come back.
Pietro moved forward and reassuringly put a hand over her own. "He'll come back."
"He will," sighed Nat. "He's probably gone to check on his friend and that friend's girlfriend. No need to worry, Esca," Nat added with a small smile. "Steve will be fine."
Esca placed what would've been Steve's breakfast back on the counter with a sigh. Seeing that he wouldn't be offending the captain, Tony seized the plate and started eating a second helping.
Seeing that she was still worried, Pietro carefully put an arm around her waist. "Don't you trust us?"
She nodded. "Of course I do."
"There you go, then," said Pietro, moving his arm and locking her pinkie with his.
Esca smiled sadly, but her gaze was directed to Bruce Banner, who had just come downstairs. "Hello there," she said in greeting—everyone else turned to see who Esca was talking to. Except for Pietro, Esca, and Natasha, everyone's mouths dropped open.
"Banner!" roared Tony, throwing his arm around the scientist. "You bastard! Have you had any idea how worried we were about you? When did you get here?!"
"Last night," grumbled Nat, sinking into the couch a little more. Clint patted her arm reassuringly, clearly wondering what had happened between the two.
As the others moved forward to welcome Bruce back to Stark Tower—there were a lot of bro hugs—he caught sight of Esca and said, "Uh… hi. I don't believe we've met."
"We haven't," smiled Esca a little shyly. "My name is Esca Rarity. The Avengers picked me up at Sokovia."
"You've forgotten the part where you saved my life," remarked Pietro mildly. Seeing Banner's impressed look, he confirmed, "She did. She's an excellent healer."
Wanda smiled, but it was thin. "She somehow managed by herself."
Bruce seemed to understand the connotation underneath Wanda's comment, and he looked down at the ground. It was obvious he had nothing to say.
"It's all right," said Esca. She didn't want the doctor to be met with judgment and anger. She was sure that Banner had had good reason not to return for a while. "I'm sure everyone is simply glad to see you again, Dr. Banner."
"Please, call me Bruce," he requested, a miniscule yet grateful smile on his face.
Esca shook his outstretched hand. "All right, then… Bruce. Now come and eat some pancakes. I hope you like chocolate chips."
The previous silence melted away, as everyone was busy talking to Banner about where had he been, how are you, and other things like that.
Once most of them had left, it was only Esca, Pietro, Bruce, and Natasha. As Esca took care of dishes, she heard Bruce say, "Natasha… I think we need to talk."
"So do I," she retorted, and then she moved up from her spot on the couch and stiffly followed him to another room.
Once they too were gone, Pietro flinched. "Eesh," he muttered, which made Esca shoot him a look. "What?" he questioned defensively. "If Natasha had glared at me like that, I would've run straight out of here."
Esca just shook her head and focused on the dishes. She had done a lot of thinking the previous night. Though her final decision pained her somewhat, she had decided that she couldn't risk Pietro. If she were to get any closer to him, she'd have to relay her past. And then he would despise her forever.
She cared about him more than she had ever cared about anyone, which was why she had to keep him where he was. If she lost him, she'd be destroyed.
She was already in the hole pretty deep. She had to stop whatever they were before she completely fell for him and she lost him entirely once she told him who she was. Esca figured now was a time as good as any to say as much. "Pietro… is it all right if I talk to you?"
"Well, you're doing so already, so yes."
Here it went. "All right… You told me last night that we would be whatever I was okay with, and I thought a lot about that. I wish our friendship could be something more, Pietro. But… it can't."
Pietro's eyebrows furrowed together in confusion, but he was quiet. He only waited for Esca to explain herself, and she did so with a deep breath. "If I were to be in a relationship with you, it would mean risking losing you entirely. And I—cannot…"
"Perhaps you wouldn't be risking anything," announced Pietro, stepping in front of her. "You shouldn't be worried about losing me at all. Aren't things going… well… between us?"
Esca could hardly meet his eyes, but somehow, she managed. "They would be, if I were able to be in a relationship with you. That night we went to the lake… I shouldn't have done what I did, because I knew I had to tell you who I am. It was a moment of weakness, and I'm sorry for it."
"A moment of weakness? Are you trying to fight this? Why?"
"Because I was not always who I am today," she responded, taking more interest in the dishes she was washing. She scrubbed one of the plates aggressively as she added, "I was a monster, and you shall see me as one as well, and I shall lose you forever."
"You are utterly disillusioned. I may not have known you long, but it has been long enough for me to see that you are the most special person I have ever met. I care for you more than anyone save Wanda. You are beautiful and kind and everything I could ever need. It might be too early to say this, but I lo—"
"Don't," interrupted Esca, her face starchy white. "Don't say that. Do not tell me that before you know me. Because you don't, you don't know me, Pietro. You might think you care about me but you won't. I was a monster. I was an assassin. I was a whore. How could anyone ever love me?! You might think I'm beautiful and kind and innocent, but I'm not. That's just my surface. You have only scratched that. You do not really love me, nor will you ever."
She slammed a plate down on the counter and accidentally broke it. With a sharp gasp, Esca recoiled her hand; a piece of ceramic had sliced across her palm, making a deep cut. She sighed and looked up at Pietro.
His eyes were hard, and underneath that was pain. Whether it was because of her voice or her words, Esca didn't know. But he looked sad, and angry. "For all those reasons for me not to love you, Esca Rarity, you have overlooked one thing."
"And what is that?" she challenged, her eyes narrowed.
"I do not care about your past. Do you know why? Because it was your past. By no means does that define who you are today. You say you were a monster—are you now? Do you honestly believe that I would rebuff you because of things you once did? We've all done things we regret! We've all had moments where we thought we were monsters! Maybe you had a harder time of it than most, but the important thing is that you overcame it and became who you are today! And that is the girl I kissed by the lake, the girl I—" He stopped short and took a deep breath before shaking his head. "You are so enveloped with the fear that no one can love you that you push away everyone who does. Think on that for a while."
Esca stared at him for a split second before she blinked and he was gone.
"No!" she shouted to the empty air around her. "Don't you do this! You can't just—you don't understand! You won't love me! You can't! AIGH!"
She threw another plate down onto the ground in a moment of blind fury. It shattered and scattered across the floor.
But the thing that made her the angriest was that she didn't know who she was yelling at: Pietro or herself.