Chapter Thirty - Name
We give titles to the unknown.
We give names to the known.
Is our name our definition?
Or is it only meaningful in our minds?
They soon enough get me a non-yellow room. Thank god. During the time between, I space out a few times. I just can't talk … I have another laughing fit, which lasts at least twenty minutes. I just sit in the corner for this one, hugging myself.
The room they have me in this time is bare and gray; four walls, a steel door with wire-meshed glass, one window on the other side of the room with bars on it. Once again, I feel like I'm in a prison, but thankfully there isn't a camera this time. There's a conjoining bathroom, a cot in the corner and plenty of space. Well, plenty if you're used to small rooms. This is actually better than the damn yellow room though.
They don't let me have much. I'm only dressed in a wool sweater (which is incredibly itchy) and sweat pants. I'm not allowed any items at the moment. When they feed me, they have a nurse come in with a tray of finger food who watches me while I eat. It's kind of creepy, but I guess it's acceptable. I did try to commit suicide, and I'm insane. They have every reason to keep a close eye on me. Not only that, but I expect that the food is layered with drugs.
I do try to tell them that I'm not suicidal any more. They won't believe me though. It seems everything I try to say is ignored or brushed aside as insane rambling.
So I can get away with talking outright to Vile.
It's time to set my plans into motion, it seems.
As soon as I realized that I'd found a space where I could wait this out and Light wouldn't be able to touch me, all kinds of plans started buzzing in my head. They won't leave me alone, and I don't want them to leave me alone.
This could be it.
"Vile," I say, watching him as he watches me.
"What is it?"
"Why'd you come to the human world?"
He laughs, and I watch as his great maw chatters. "You don't need to ask that."
"Tell me anyway."
"I came because I had enough of those stupid Shinigami and their stupid, boring, lazy way of life. I think it's highly ironic that 'Gods of Death' are practically dead themselves. I want to live."
It's my turn to laugh, but I smile too. "You want to live? You sound like a hippie."
I push aside the image of Vile wearing hippie clothing.
"So what do you want?" he asks me. "You don't ask me questions like that unless you want something from me."
"I'm going to die for real as soon as I'm out of here, you know that. Kira will make his move before Ryuzaki will find what I've left him. They've been too caught up," I look around at the cell around me, "but the game's coming to a close."
"What are you getting at?"
"You don't want me to die, do you?" I ask, grinning.
His eyes narrow angrily, and he suddenly looks incredibly threatening. For the first time I feel a twinge of fear when looking at him. He gets right in my face, turning his head to the side so that I'm staring him right in the eye. His head isn't even an inch away, and he got there in only a few seconds.
"Let me make something clear to you, human," he hisses. "I will be the one to kill you when you expire. Until then you will remain alive."
I smirk, and he seems taken aback by this. "Kira has a notebook, Vile. He could kill me at any point in time. Of course, he won't just yet, but he will eventually. Unless …"
"… Unless what?"
"Unless you give me a hand in defeating him, after all, even after the case has ended, there will still be more, if I survive."
"Are you really asking that of a Shinigami?" he hisses in surprise and awe, the red lights widening.
"I'm just crazy enough to do it," I laugh.
Tong …
They won't stop ringing … it's getting rather annoying. At first I hadn't even noticed them. Now, however … I guess I just finally realized that they were ringing non-stop.
Constantly ringing in a steady pace, in the silence of my room, it's all I can hear. I lay on my bed, staring up at the ceiling and trying to ignore the bells …
The bells …
No …
The Bells.
They aren't just any bells. I realize that now. They are special, unique, ringing again … and again. They rang the night my mother was killed. They rang the night my father died. They rang the night Ukita died. They ring when …
They ring when I brush up against death, even if I do not die.
So I silently listen to the Bells.
Tong …
The Bells of Death.
"The Bells … I can finally hear them," I whisper, chest constricting. I don't know if I'm hallucinating, but what I do know is that I've heard them before. The other times they were much louder, so I guess no one is going to die unless I hear them loudly. They are quiet, just ringing in the distance. I can hardly hear them … but they are still there, just the endless ringing in the distance.
Tong …
The Bells.
"I hear the Bells," I say, not at a whisper. I say it loud and clear.
Not only can I see death …
I can hear it too.
Rue Ryuzaki … L …
"Your visitor is here," the nurse says, stalking into the room. For the safety of the sane, I am attached to the bed. That is, my ankle is chained to the metal post (the bed is bolted to the floor) and my wrists are handcuffed together. Of course, these are not police handcuffs – they are the padded shackles that they used on me in solitary confinement. I'm a little peeved by this arrangement, but the insane don't get a say in this.
When they told me that I had a visitor, I had been pretty excited. When they told me who it was, I felt dread. Oh shit … How the hell am I going to explain this to him? I feel nauseous, and glance fearfully in Vile's direction. He just shrugs.
When L walks into the room, I can't hold his gaze. I stare at the floor. I have my back to the corner on the cot. The leg that is chained to the bed is stretched out; the chain isn't that long. The other leg is brought up to my chest so that I can hide behind it.
I feel like an animal, an animal that had been horribly abused, and now has to once again face his master. Ryuzaki is my friend … I'm so glad that he's alive. I mean, I could just cry for how relieved I am. But … Damn. I was willing to kill myself to save his life. I did so without an explanation. I don't know if I can face him. I don't know if he will forgive me.
He just goes and leans against the wall, staring at me. I continue to stare at the floor, occasionally looking up at the detective. I … I can't read his expression this time. It's stoic, impassive, simply watching me. Drilling holes into my soul …
"Ryuzaki, why are you here?" I croak, not looking up.
"Why do you think?" his voice is calm, but I flinch.
"Did you find it then?"
"You mentioned that," he whispers, walking over to me. He stares me straight in the eyes, and I stare right back. "Why did you do that?"
"I can't say," I reply.
This is just like last time, I realize.
"Light wiped your hard-drive," Vile says, effectively ruining the previously serious mood. I glare over at him.
"Shut up, will you? You're not helping," I say, rolling my eyes in his general direction. L's gaze follows mine, and then he looks back at me with a curious expression. "Anyway, he's looking for it, so you'll have to be quick. Ask Makoto is you need help. This is really important."
"Who do you mean by 'he'?"
"Light of course. Both you and I know who he really is, Ryuzaki."
"And how can I trust your word?" he growls.
Oh … now I see. I've hurt him deeply in doing what I did. He's fucking angry now.
"Being insane is not the same thing as being delusional," I hiss.
"You find it perfectly acceptable to talk to your hallucinations though."
"He's actually not a hallucination. I couldn't come up with something as annoying as him," I shoot a glare at him.
"It's male?"
"Well, as far as I know. I don't think they reproduce."
"No, we don't. Gender's more of a choice than anything else," Vile chuckles to himself.
"Well that's a useless piece of information," I roll my eyes.
"You see something there, yet you insist that it's not a hallucination. How do you know?"
Again, I roll my eyes, "It's because he's been following me around for almost a year now. He can be a real pain in the ass, but he does provide comic relief once in a while."
"Well, what is it then?"
"A lizard?" I chuckle and dip my head so that my eyes are hid behind my bangs. "Trust me, you'd rather not know. Just go find what I left for you. You'll be able to solve your puzzle."
I continued to chuckle absently with Vile. L stares at me with wide eyes, almost disbelieving. They ended up having to drag him out of there when my laughing escalated and they needed to sedate me again.
With a roll of my eyes, I put down the pencil with a 'click' of finality. I've had enough with their stupid tests and their stupid puzzles.
It's been roughly three hours since I got in here. I've slowly been getting less and less 'crazy'. Apparently I haven't attacked anyone since I came back to coherent thought. That's pretty good. However, they haven't deemed me ready to leave the damn facility.
Some guy comes in and takes all the tests that they had given me and leaves. Without even saying hello … I pout in a childish manner and slump my shoulders. Roughly ten minutes later a guy with a clipboard comes in and takes a seat across from me at the metal desk (bolted to the floor).
"Hello Kurai, how are you doing?" he starts. I look up at him, still frowning and attempting to drill holes through him with my eyes. I can see his disdain, discomfort and annoyance in his body language. "Thank you for writing all those tests. I can imagine that you aren't very comfortable sitting here. Would you like to join me in my office for a conversation?"
I frown even more, "You don't have to treat me like a wayward child. I can understand you perfectly well. Insanity is not the same thing as stupidity."
There's a slight glint in his eyes from behind his glasses and his smile falters slightly. So I've hit a nerve …
"Although, having said that, I am uncomfortable sitting here."
They take off the padded shackle around my ankles and cuff my wrists together. A large beefy nurse with a syringe at the ready leads me by the elbow down the hall towards the doctor's office.
I'm thrust inside the room and lab-coat guy follows closely. He crosses the room to his desk and takes a seat. He then motions with his hand to the chair in front of his desk. Warily, I take a seat.
"So, what did you want to talk about Doc?"
"I'm curious about your test results."
"This hasn't been the first time someone's been interested in them," I give him a small grin before frowning.
"Hmm, well, your information attaining skills are quite exemplary."
"Thanks."
"What really intrigues me is your reasoning ability and problem solving skills. They're off the charts."
"Alright."
"In fact, you could be classified as a genius."
"Okay."
The doctor frowns at me and stares through his glasses, "You are taking this quite well."
I give a small shrug, "Not to sound arrogant, but I kind of know that. This isn't really new to me."
"Is that so?"
"Yeah, in fact, would you like an example?"
"That would be appreciated."
I give a grin, "Firstly, you do not take your job seriously. You're a teacher by trade, an avid golfer, wannabe hunter and marksman. You're a smoker. You're currently going through a divorce," I give a pause and give a small sniff, "caused by you. You are a rather studious man, always eager to prove yourself to the higher-ups. You're very vain and put much emphasis on appearances."
The man stares at me like I was some sort of psychic, "H-how?"
I give a large grin and lean back in the chair, "Well, you do not take your job seriously by the casual tone and simple disregard of me. You're a teacher because I can quite clearly see your master's degree on the wall; next to your psychology degree. You are not working in a school, so you are unhappy to be working with mental patients – another reason to not like your job."
"Well, what about the other stuff?" he huffed, staring at me.
"There's a pin on the shirt under the doctor's coat. You have a membership to a country club; this club gave you their pin. Also, your pen has a miniature golf-ball on the end of it," I nod at the pen in his cup-holder, "An amateur hunter because that deer head on the wall is fake, not to mention creeping the hell out of me. There's a small indent on your ring finger, probably caused from a ring being there for a number of years. In your later age you became tired of the routine and cheated. I can tell this because of the prominent stench of perfume in the air. This is combined with the smell of tobacco, which means that either you or your girlfriend smoke. I guessed it was you. Your office is very neat and tidy, filled with books on various topics, mostly psychology. As I've said before, you're a teacher. Being a teacher requires you to be studious. By filling your office with books related to your job and nothing of your interests is a way to project your dedication, or false dedication. You're vain, because I can see a thin hairline underneath your wig. Instead of dying your hair, which would be considered 'girly' in your opinion, you bought a wig to hide the greyness in your hair. You are wearing expensive clothing under your coat. On the matter of the books, you projected dedication to keep up an appearance." I smile almost sweetly at him as he sits gasping at me like a fish.
"You could tell all that, out of the smallest details?" he finally found his voice.
"Most of it is assumption. There were percentages in the favor of what I just told you. It seems that I was right though."
"In the span of a few minutes …"
"When I want to, I can be quite perceptive," I give another grin. I just pulled a Sherlock Holmes on him. It's exactly the kind of thing that he did in his books. Arthur Conan had it pretty close.
There are some key differences on how the world works. The method works wonders though.
"What is so amusing to you?" L asks me. He's sitting against the wall in my little room. This is his second visit since I came here. Makoto and Kakushin came and visited me (there was much crying), but I couldn't tell them anything. I was in another silent bout. I only said a few words the entire time.
"The fact that I pulled a classic Sherlock Holmes on a psychologist here," I chuckle to myself. It's been a few days since the incident. I haven't seen the guy since – probably too scared. I've been laughing at it the entire time. Well, in bouts.
"Is that so?"
"I pretty much told him his life story. Hey, what time is it?"
"3:43 PM."
"Oh, that's too bad."
"Why?"
"Well, between you and me, he was due today," I give a small sigh, "I hope that he's worked out things with his wife."
"What do you mean by he was due today?" L looks at me curiously, thumb hanging on the corner of his lip.
"To die," my expression softens, "It's quite sad really. Once you learn more about a person, you end up regretting that you have the knowledge." I then shrug, "Oh well, it's not like I haven't gotten used to it."
L openly stares at me, horror in his black eyes. I give him an insane smirk. "Confused are we?" I look over at my Shinigami. "What do you think, should we tell him?" Vile just shrugs. "Some help you are."
"Tell me what exactly?" L gets to his feet and crosses the room to stand next to where I'm chained to the bed.
"I can see things, Ryuzaki, things that you wouldn't imagine. I've seen them for years, and I know that I'm not insane to see these things."
"What things?" he looms over me.
"They're shining red letters and numbers, floating above every single person's head. From it, I can tell three things," I give a chuckle, "I can tell when a person is destined to die, whether they have Kira's power, and the last one, the piece of information that you probably wouldn't expect me to have."
He stares holes at me, daring me to tell him.
"Above everyone's head, spelt out in red letters, is their lifespan, and their name," I start chuckling again, "You see why I tried to kill myself? I'm the only other one who knows your real name. Kira wants it desperately. The Second Kira had eyes like mine, and that's how they were able to kill with only a face. You still need the name; it's the method of attaining it that's different," I start openly laughing.
L looks completely and utterly shocked for a total of five seconds. He then reigns in his surprise, and glares holes at me. "How do I know that you're being honest with me? How do I know that you're not just hallucinating?" he growls.
"Come closer, I won't hurt you." He dips his head towards me.
"Closer," I end up raising my wrists and placing them next to his neck and dragging his head forward with the handcuffs. I then quietly whisper in his ear that tiny piece of information that I knew would cause him to be in a daze for the next week or so.
I tell him his own name.
When he draws back, his eyes are huge. He is visibly shaking. He never expected it in a million years. I start laughing quietly.
A/N: I've said it before, and now it's sounding like a mantra. Kurai's family backstory sounds really fishy. I KNOW THIS. At first I just drafted it because I needed her backstory and it was done really quickly, then shoved off to the side. I'm thinking about doing a short story, maybe three or four chapters, on that whole subject, because it's a lot bigger than it looks now that I've tossed it around in my head and let my cruel rationale chew it up and spit it back out. It actually makes sense in context, but in RED it looks like garbage. It even gives Vile and Kuru credible backstories! Especially because Vile's actions in this chapter and the next few chapters don't sound very SHINIGAMI-ish. Totally a reason, there is.
On another note I like to make Sherlock Holmes references, and I mean, how could you NOT with something like this. Yes, I watch BBC Sherlock, but I've also read one of the books, and it's just great. I don't think I bothered to touch that big huge blurb of Kurai's speech when I was going through this chapter though, too lazy, and it's not even a MAJOR plot device, just a smaller one.
So, see you when I decide to post the next two chapters, because I'm going to post the end into two parts, each with two chapters. A little symbolic on my end because RED is now two chapters longer! Horray!
Goodnight, I'm going to die because of sleep deficiency.
- DW