Chapter IX - Relearning

The actors' path drifts,

All over the stage,

That constantly shifts,

With music and age,

Relearning a script,

Where Fate turns the page.

The explosion seemed to go on forever.

Toph gritted her teeth, pushed her chi down, felt her senses expand. There were heartbeats, so many. Some were getting weaker. Then she felt them drop away from her, the overload of information too much for her to hold. Only one remained, and behind her, she felt Twinkletoes flutter like a bird. "Aang!" she snapped. "What in dirt's name are you doing? Help me out here!"

It was a wonder how he heard her over the noise. But perhaps he didn't. Whatever it was, the fog seemed to clear from his brain, finally, and he leapt to her assistance. Suddenly the burden she was carrying lightened, and Toph sucked in a ragged breath of dust-filled air. Beside her, Aang didn't even have the concentration to smile sheepishly. With his will added to hers, his stance rooted into the ground, he felt the cracks she'd been holding together, the weight of the Palace bearing down on them like a mountain and threatening to swallow them alive.

Blue light suddenly flooded the darkness.

Toph couldn't see it, of course. But she felt her burden lighten further still, until the web of rock almost felt like air. Aang's heartbeat thudded in the soles of her feet, slow and steady for once, and she took advantage of her unique senses to truly appreciate what he was doing.

No one else could.

She bore her consciousness down into the ground and felt it shudder and sway. There was a huge, horrifying gap in the hallway just outside the throne room, the stone of centuries sheared off by the violence of the explosion. The reverberations were still rocking her feet, but something else was pushing back now. She felt the surge of power travel through her, around her, melding the cleaved earth back together, reaching through the very foundations and roofs of the Palace to smooth over the multitudes of cracks. Even with everything she was, she couldn't quite comprehend the damage that had been wrought. He did, though, and something that had stamped nervously in the gut of her soul for a long while paused to listen.

See what you can do, Twinkletoes? she thought, half-dazedly. When you get your head out of the clouds and come back to earth?

And that was the problem, she thought. The problem behind his skittishness and his visiting the guru and everything. The first thing she had learnt from the badger-moles was a sense of direction. Of focus. Of stubbornness and will to match the earth they shaped. He obviously had enough of it to earthbend and face Ozai, but the rest of the time...

Toph shook her head, thinking, and as the building around them convulsed once more and then fell silent, she let the rock tent crumble.

Aang's heartbeat immediately picked up again.

"Kuei! Iroh!" She felt a massive surge of air brush past her skin, and the dust in the room settled. For a moment, she lost track of him as he ran. And then he was there, and so was Iroh, and she didn't even have time to connect the dots.

"Iroh!" Aang's voice again, and she swore she could have heard a dying breeze in his voice.

She felt Kuei stumble towards where Aang knelt on shaky legs. Toph found hers were rooted to the ground. She swallowed. Sometimes she wished she could see. "Pops?" she finally ventured and discovered her throat was sore from screaming dust. "Are you all right?"

"He's out," Aang said shakily. "I... he's bleeding. Something must have hit him from..."

That was enough to unfreeze Toph's feet from the floor. "Well then move it!" she commanded. The words spilled out of her like only panic could. "Where's the infirmary around here? Get someone in to help us." She calmed herself just enough to pull the tiles Iroh was resting on tenderly upwards, a floating stretcher of stone. "Well? Where do we go?"

She knew she was losing her cool. She didn't care. Aside from the political ramifications of what would happen if Iroh died, she liked him. And Aang... she could imagine what he was doing right now, standing there and working his jaw up and down. For a moment, she violently wished for Sokka. She hadn't felt the holes he, Sugarqueen, and Sparky had left behind this keenly for a while. Sokka would have already been out the door finding someone to lead them. Or, more likely, he would have been dragging her along behind himself, his healthy paranoia and love of maps having already led him to pinpoint all the useful escape routes and places of interest. Not to mention, Sugarqueen would have rendered this panic moot. She suddenly realised how much she'd been spoiled with how well they'd all worked together. She'd become used to relying on them. Even Sparky or Fangirl would have gotten a grip by now, especially since Pops was the former's uncle.

"Aang!" she yelled.

The ice fell. She lost track of him again as he ran, and felt the hated vulnerability wash over her. The weight of the tiles bearing Iroh was nothing compared to holding most of the Palace together for a few seconds, but in many ways it was much, much worse.

"Miss Bei Fong?"

"Toph," she corrected, her voice hard. Part of her, the lady, blinked at addressing the Earth King so rudely. That part made her grudgingly add "Your Majesty," as an afterthought.

Kuei said nothing. He was probably still in shock. She split her concentration between holding Iroh up and trying to get the pattern of Kuei's heartbeat. It was difficult now that the ground was splintered and the Palace was alive with chaos. Twinkletoes hadn't gotten everything, it seemed, just the big ones. She didn't want to think about how she'd been able to pick out his pulse so easily, but it was probably because she knew it like her own.

She had only just managed to get a tag on Kuei when she felt him move. "Oh," he exclaimed. "Thank the Spirits you're here and you're safe! I was so worried when I heard the..."

More words were coming out, but Toph wasn't hearing them. Someone else was in the throne room with them? But how? She hadn't heard or felt anything move near the doors since Twinkletoes had left. She bunched her fists and felt her own heart begin to hammer in her chest. What was this? What was happening to her?

It was only when the voice came, and she almost jumped, that Toph belatedly realised that she might be in a little bit of shock too.

"It's all right, little one."

Toph turned towards the sound. She hadn't heard whoever it was coming, but this she could seize on. A woman's voice. An older woman's voice. She sounded like a mother. Toph shook her head and bared her teeth. Little one. She already didn't like her. She opened her mouth to say as much, but the other woman got to it first.

"It's all right," she repeated. "We can take care of your friend."

Toph breathed. She wasn't sure if she could trust whoever this person was, but Kuei wasn't screaming and Aang didn't seem to be coming back any time soon and she didn't even know how badly Iroh was hurt. In the end, it was easy enough to nod and settle Iroh back to the floor. It was a lot less easy to stop the thoughts from running around in her head when Aang came back two minutes later, dragging a doctor.

It was an old thought, one that had simmered in her mind ever since they'd left for the Earth Kingdom. But that didn't mean she'd ever meant to let it come to the surface.

With just Twinkletoes and me, I'm the leader. And I don't always know how to lead.

There was an answer to the implicit problem there. She knew it. She felt for Aang's heartbeat, and wondered if he knew it too.

Katara was sure she could have cut the air. Was sure that if she did, it would have bled. For two seconds, the burning heat of the Fire Lord's gaze, Mai's quiet assurance, and Sheng's flashing eyes seemed like it would devour them all alive.

And then Sheng dropped his eyes, and turned them to the left. "My son is not an ash eater," he said quietly. He raised his gaze again, locking them with Zuko's. "I would not have you see him like this. It is not... it is not him."

There was a distinct lack of fight to the Minister, like the strength had drained out of his considerably muscular build and only regret and shame were holding him upright. At this apparent non-threat, Katara looked back to Zuko. His golden eyes were hard.

"Explain, General."

Katara recognised the voice. Hand over the Avatar. She firmed her own stance, prepared to back him up this time. As a matter of fact, I am a big girl now. Still, she wasn't surprised when Mai's hand fell on her shoulder. She stopped, but did not move back into a surprised, relaxed state. Instead, adrenaline coursing along her veins, she watched as the scene distilled itself in front of her.

The voice had its effect. Sheng looked as though he were being pulled up by invisible strings, reluctance pushing his features into subservience. "From the look of him, he has eaten Feverflame powder. That is why he is like... this." His gaze dropped to his son, tracing the white features, the cold skin, and his mouth hardened. With it, some pride stiffened his spine once more, and he glared at Zuko. "That is why I asked for the Royal Physician."

"Is he in any immediate danger?" Zuko demanded.

There was silence. And then, "No," Sheng admitted. "It has been long enough, and he is not fitting."

The way he said it was cold, almost distanced, but that didn't stop heat from lacing his next sentence. "But he is my son." He raised his eyes to meet the Fire Lord's once more. "Is it not natural that I should wish him receive the best of care?"

Katara didn't understand why the hand on her shoulder suddenly tightened, nor why the room seemed to suddenly flare hot. Still, the Fire Lord remained expressionless. "Your devotion to Shen Li is commendable. For him to receive the best of care, however, I need to know what this Feverflame powder is."

At that, Sheng seemed genuinely taken aback. "My Lord? I had thought... no." He shook his head and then straightened again, his voice businesslike. Katara could see how he had become a General. From what she'd heard and her own observations, however, the jury was still out on how he was as one of Zuko's Ministers. "What do you know of the Feverflame weed?"

Zuko's face stayed guarded. "Not much. Why don't you enlighten me?"

Sheng's mouth opened, but when Mai's voice sounded instead, right behind her, Katara almost jumped. "The effects of the Feverflame weed were reintroduced to the Capitol not long after you began your search for the Avatar," the noblewoman stated emotionlessly. "Rural communities had been using the seeds for centuries to intensify and 'burn out' fevers. Some even used it in an attempt to produce firebenders, believing that if the mother constantly ingested it while she was pregnant, the child would be born breathing fire."

She paused, surveying the room with flat eyes, seeing the weight of the words as they sunk into everyone. The Fire Lord nodded sharply. "Go on."

"You know how recruiting was," she said. "Many of the people from the countryside brought old medicines and habits with them, and in the training environment some things got out of hand. They found out that the seeds not only helped with fevers, they could induce them when one wasn't sick in a way that was..."

Katara wasn't quite sure what Mai was doing, stretching it out like this. She was sure the noblewoman was up to something. The cold, precise manner fit her like a second skin, but in this atmosphere the dust of the history seemed jarring. As it was, though, Sheng seemed to lose patience. "They used it as a drug," the General interrupted, his face twisted into a mask of military contempt. "A very addictive one, It spread from the soldiers to those higher up. The plague even affected and tainted noble blood." His fathomless gaze fell onto Shen Li again. "But my son was never one of them."

Katara worried her lip and placed her hand against his forehead again. Just like before, it was cold. "But if the seed produces fever, why is he freezing?"

Sheng gave her a disgusted look. "And you call yourself a healer," he muttered. "What do you think happens after a high, Lady Katara?" He paused, as if to draw out his contempt, and then answered his own question with startling finality. "A fall."

Katara opened her mouth for a furious reply, but somebody else got there first.

"My question is," Mai murmured, cutting across everyone, "How did he get it in the first place?"

Zuko raised his eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

Mai joined her hands under the sleeves of her robe. "Feverflame seeds are narcotics. But the leaves and the stem can be used to make a virtually untraceable, flammable poison. It was for both reasons that Fire Lord Ozai ordered the fields to be burnt two years ago and outlawed it."

Katara watched Zuko's eyes move to pin Sheng once again. "Well?"

The Minister stared back. "There... is a black market we are aware of," he admitted. "Part of my department works to curb its excesses." His gaze strayed back to Shen Li, and Katara was surprised to see his features actually soften with a mixture of panic and worry. "With all due respect, My Lord, that is really almost all I know about it. The rest can be compiled in a report from the agents involved. May I at least get my son to an infirmary now?"

Zuko hesitated. Then something flickered across his face and he nodded abruptly. "I expect that report as soon as possible, Minister," he said. And then, "Take care of Shen Li. He has leave until he recovers."

The General nodded, bowed stiffly, and moved out to the corridor to call for someone. Katara felt Mai behind her, and then almost jumped as the noblewoman's whisper reached her ears.

"In the right dose, Feverflame loosens tongues. Tell Zuko."

The world froze for a second as the impact of that sentence hit her, and then Katara spun around. But the noblewoman had already straightened, the look on her face strangely more serene than bored. She glanced at her once, and Katara nodded. She wasn't particularly sure what was going on, but she was aware that Mai had been playing the entire situation all along and it was probably best to follow her lead.

Until she'd gotten used to the music, of course. And then she fully intended to dance her own steps.

Mai's eyes cut into hers, and then she nodded too, sharply, as if she agreed with what she saw. Before Katara could figure out anything else, she had turned and glided over to Sheng, and the men with a stretcher already waiting to lever the comatose guard captain away.

"If I might accompany you and Shen Li to the infirmary, General?" she asked, inclining her head just a hair's breadth deeper than she needed to.

Behind her, Katara heard the men beginning to lift Shen Li onto the waiting stretcher, but her eyes stayed fixed on the scene playing in front of her. She still wasn't sure what Mai was doing. But the last few days had taught her that if she wanted to stay on her feet in this strange new world, she could do worse than learn from someone who had survived both the Court and years with Azula.

There was a pause. And then some of the old Sheng that Katara had gotten used to came back, with the hidden smile of a predator.

"It would be our pleasure, Lady Mai."

Mai turned, met her eyes on the way, and bowed once more to Zuko. Katara noted it was almost perfunctory. And then, General, noblewoman, and stretcher were borne away, leaving the Fire Lord and the Waterbender alone in his office.

Zuko was shaken. He could admit that. Even when the door closed, he couldn't stop staring at the spot on the floor where Shen Li had collapsed.

"Sit down," Katara's voice broke his trance. "You look like you're going to fall over."

Anyone else, and he would have ignored them, stood straighter, put his mask back on. But he didn't bother trying to hide from her. She'd seen a lot worse from him than weakness, after all. A lot worse of him. Zuko merely nodded and found his chair again, sinking into it with soundless relief.

"You know what worries me the most?" he said aloud.

She shook her head, found another chair, tugged it closer and sat across from him. It was getting closer to late afternoon, almost evening, but that didn't mean the Fire Nation lacked for warmth. Summer might be dying, but it was still there, and even with the gaps left in the office by everyone else's departure, the room didn't feel cold. That didn't stop Zuko from being oddly comforted by their proximity.

He raised his eyes, and saw voluminous blue ones staring back at him. They were the same ones that had given him the courage to face his uncle. The same ones that had haunted him after Ba Sing Se. The same ones that had narrowed and stood by his side a world ago when they'd fought Azula. He allowed himself the luxury of relaxing in trust that had always been in such short supply, and the words flowed from his mouth. "The fact that I'd never heard of it. Something so big to affect my county and my armies, and I'd never heard of it." He shook his head. "How am I supposed to rule and protect my people if I don't even know what might be coming?"

It was a stupid question. He knew it the moment it sounded and shaped itself into the air, a damning question mark. It didn't help that it had singlehandedly coalesced all of his thoughts in the last few days and made them real. It also didn't help that simply saying it aloud had just frozen his insides. He hadn't had anyone else to say it to. Anyone else in the Fire Nation, no matter how close, would have turned away from a Fire Lord displaying such weakness, such doubts.

Katara wasn't Fire Nation.

"You've never known what was coming," she pointed out reasonably. A half-smile curled on her lips, almost nostalgic. "That hasn't ever stopped you. And this won't either."

He didn't say anything. He couldn't. He hadn't known how much he'd needed to hear the words before he'd heard them. There were times when he missed Uncle with such a ferocity that it hurt. Having Katara lean forwards with that shine in her eyes eased the ache a little in a different way.

"Besides, you were away when this Feverflame stuff came to the Capitol," she continued. "And I'm guessing your training as a Prince didn't cover countryside herbs."

He smiled a little before he realised it. "Good guess," he admitted. He pushed away the thickness in his throat and kept going. "We learnt a bit for military aid, but that was more about hot water and compresses and bandages than anything else."

As if that somehow had triggered off a memory, Katara sighed. "Actually, I think you've got more to worry about than just a gap in your knowledge," she said, almost apologetically. "Mai told me one last thing before she left. Apparently Feverflame, in the right doses, makes people talk."

In the sudden downturn of her brow, he knew what she meant instantly. And then fear seized him. "What?"

Katara didn't repeat herself. "It explains quite a few things, actually," she said grimly. "This morning, Mai was joined by Sheng at the Prison. And only the four of us knew she was going to be there."

Zuko put his head down, the connections racing through his head. "But then... he seemed so surprised. Almost worried." He snorted. "More emotion than I'd ever thought I'd see from that old fox." His head snapped up. "What did you think?"

He could see her considering it. See her uncertainty. It was strangely heartening to see her expressions run across her face after the last long while of being surrounded by masks.

"He seemed genuinely worried," she said cautiously. "But then, who wouldn't be? He's his father after all."

Zuko couldn't help it. He laughed, and it sounded so terrible he was surprised she didn't flinch back from him. Then again, she'd seen him do and say much worse. He remembered the way she had run to Hakoda and closed his eyes.

"That means very different things here," he said. He didn't realise he was touching his scar reflexively until he felt the roughened skin on his fingers. With a jolt, he forced his hand down again, hoping that she wouldn't think anything of it. She might have seen most of him, but even he didn't like looking at that particular corner of his soul. Not to mention, he didn't want what they had to be soured by pity. He couldn't stand that.

Too late, though. Katara was a healer, after all, and she knew hurt. And she was Katara.

"Zuko?"

The question thrummed his skin, soft, almost painful in its simplicity. Suddenly, he didn't know how to respond. It would be very easy just to make a glib comment about the difference in their cultures, or even just explain to her more in depth about families and the Court. But he was Zuko, and she was Katara, and he was as terrible at lying as she was concerned with those she cared about.

Still, he had to say something. Zuko was just opening his mouth, not quite sure what to say, when a knock sounded on the door and saved him.

"My Lord?"

Zuko blinked, recognising the voice. "Come in."

The royal messenger stepped past the threshold, bowing as he did so. "Fire Lord Zuko," he said formally. "The scouts from the Weiji Coast have returned. They want to make a formal report."

He looked instantly to Katara. She nodded, and he tried to focus on her assent rather than on the concern he still saw there. "It's been enough time for them to get back," she confirmed aloud.

Zuko exhaled, relieved and annoyed and excited at the same time. Finally, they might get some more answers about the rebel soldiers. "I'll receive them in the throne room," he decided. The messenger bowed again and left. Zuko stood to retrieve his robes and all the other formalities such a report demanded, and was met with Katara's piercing gaze as she rose too.

"I'm coming with you," she said.

For the second time that day, she rendered him ineloquent. "What?" he demanded.

Katara crossed her arms. "Don't be stupid," she said. "Shen Li was your Chief Bodyguard, right? And he's out cold right now. Someone has to come along and watch your back."

He felt a genuine smile grace his lips then, wide and full. "Thank you," he said quietly. "I appreciate it. But you don't have to worry about me. I'll have other guards, and you should have a rest."

Katara raised her eyebrow. "A rest from what? The utterly exhausting activities of speaking with all of five people today?"

Zuko chuckled. "I'm just saying," he said. The robes were on, as was the crown, and he was almost ready to go. "The boring meetings and reports are my fight, not yours."

Steps sounded outside in the corridor. He knew it was more guards, come to escort him. From the easing set of Katara's shoulders, it seemed she had heard them too.

"Okay then," she acknowledged, moving to leave. "But only because we both know you're going to condense it down for me later and save me from all the boring parts."

Zuko startled, half-way between gathering his official seals. "I am?"

Katara rolled her eyes before she met his again, her blue stare calm and determined. "Yes, you are. I helped free those scouts, Zuko." She gestured her hand around the room in a wide sweep. "This is my fight too."

Zuko had words that leapt into his mind at that, but they were somehow washed away by an almost dizzying surge of relief. He was pretty sure she didn't know what she was saying. It was one thing for her to have played the Painted Lady and helped Mai with the rebels. It was another thing to sit in on a Court dinner and distract his Ministers, and then offer to investigate the riots.

It was a completely and utterly different thing, however, to imply such an overarching partnership with his work. He didn't know what to make of it. Fire Nation internal politics had been virtually untouched by foreigners for over a hundred years. This wasn't some Court alliance that depended on loyalty or bargaining or power.

It was something else, and he had no name for it. But that didn't mean it was bad. At least, he didn't think so. And with Katara waiting for him to stop being a tongue-tied idiot and respond, he could work the details out later.

"Thank you," Zuko rasped, the words feeling painfully inadequate.

"You're welcome," she grinned, then slipped out the door. The smile she left behind stayed with him all the way to the empty space of the Throne room, and the answers that lay waiting there.

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A/N - I know apologies are getting really old. Suffice to say that I'm sorry to have kept you all waiting, and I'm afraid I've gone quite rusty in the break. I only hope that continued pushing at this fic will bring it back up to scratch. In the mean time, I'd just like to thank you all again for being so patient with me, this story, and all of our flaws. This story really wouldn't be the same without you, and your wonderful, constructive, inspiring reviews.

Rest assured, however, that no matter how long the breaks may be, come hell or writer's block (the latter which has already visited me several times), I do intend to finish this story.

My thanks again,

-Shadowhawke