I'm in spring break so get ready….
She is running again, but this time she knows she's dreaming. The streets of New York are barren and war-torn, with wreckage marring her path but never stopping her. Darcy is almost flying, her feet are moving so fast, and she can barely catch glimpses of corpses scattered at her feet like pebbles. Darcy can't slow though- she has to get to safety, although she doesn't know where that may be.
The scenery around her is a blur until suddenly she feels her heart fall and then she too is falling.
Before her lies baby Lucy- a splatter of blood not her own across her face, like a torn and ragged ribbon. Darcy cannot feel her legs, and once again she is paralyzed, not by injury but by shock- there is Jane, mangled and maimed like a rag doll- and protectively curled around her yet somehow broken was Thor, his face contorted with all the horror and grief of a man who has lost everything.
Darcy cannot feel her sorrow- all she feels is a massive, gaping hole within her- and all that is replacing that hole is terror.
There is a low chuckle from behind her, and she fears the worst-
Is it Loki who has committed this atrocity?
She slowly turns and cannot hold her gasp.
Some colossus- a monster, of great size and hideous features, is holding Loki like a limp cloth- Loki, whose face is missing actual chunks of flesh, with gaping lacerations along his body.
Darcy knows she has to run- that she can't save Loki- but all she can do is slowly rise, and offer herself to the creature like a pathetic martyr.
It is the end of the world.
Darcy's nightmares were getting worse. She had returned to Earth reluctantly as it was, but the constant fear of closing her eyes was starting to make her downright irritated. She and Loki's arrival on Earth was as low-key as possible (har har) considering how badly his last visit had gone. Thanks to SHIELD and a surprisingly adept negotiating session with Thor, Loki had been temporarily pardoned of all war crimes committed during his last couple of years. Darcy liked to think she had actually cemented that decision, based on her highly developed and scientific dissertation over the disintegration of Loki's sanity over the course of his lifetime on Asgard. What SHIELD and particularly Fury were interested in was what happened after Loki fell from the bifrost- the introduction of Thanos being especially disturbing to both parties.
Darcy paid little mind to the bureaucracy- she was mostly just worried about what she was going to do about the fact that she was on Earth after almost five years up in the air. She had no colleagues, no friends, and her family was so far estranged from her that she couldn't remember her brother's wife's name.
Loki was even worse off- his new conscience meant that every tourist attraction and building in NYC reminded him of his botched attack on humanity, and triggered a guilt trip the magnitude of Chernobyl. Darcy tried to reassure him but she was secretly glad to see him face his personal demons.
Jane and Thor were as perfect as ever, and Lucy had begun to talk. Darcy was glad to see her best friend but there was a bizarre disconnect between them. Rational Darcy knew it was rooted in the simple fact that both women were in completely separate areas of life- Jane was moving on and Darcy was stuck, like a china doll or a girl in a snow globe. Still, her annoyance was only mild and she was honestly grateful that she had her Jane back to keep her company.
Still, she was lonely as usual, and meeting the Avengers didn't make it much better. Seeing the faces she had once so fervently admired was disconcerting- Tony Stark had gray hairs in his beard, Hawkeye was as grizzled and war-weathered as ever, but overall the team hadn't changed. Black Widow was the same stunning beauty as before, if not more so, and Captain America was identical to his five-years ago self. Only Bruce Banner was really different, with peppered gray hair and a thinner, gaunter look to his frame. Clearly time had taken its toll on him too. Darcy subconsciously felt her face for any wrinkles or crow's feet, unsure of what she found.
The Avengers were not pleased to see Loki- they had been fully briefed on his madness but they were justifiably wary of the god. Thor kept dragging Loki to meetings with the team in the hopes of redeeming his little half-brother, to no avail. Loki would be present but only just- he was more uncomfortable with being near the Avengers than the entire team's discomfort combined. Thor's constant interference lent itself to Loki's irritation, and the god of tricks took many pains to avoid his brother for the duration of the trip.
Darcy felt for him, but she soon discovered that she had her own problems to deal with.
It began when Pepper Potts had coffee with her and Jane.
They were discussing the whirlwind wedding of Tony and Pepper five years before, when Iron Man nearly died for the umpteenth time and Tony realized that he really should marry his one true love.
"Pepper, I'm happy Tony made an honest woman of you, and your wedding pictures are absolutely divine, did you wear Alexander McQueen?" Darcy was genuinely happy for the older woman and now mother of two.
Pepper was in turn pleased to see Darcy and Jane, each mother cooing over pictures of their respective children. The conversation turned to parenting and Darcy was left out, so she amused herself by going through the new Stark issued iPhone 8 she had been gifted with. Absentmindedly, Darcy googled her own name in hopes of finding her old blog she had kept during her high school years.
Instead what Darcy found made her drop her phone.
Jane noticed first.
"Darcy, what happened?!"
She shook her head, unable to speak.
Pepper grabbed the phone off the ground and unlocked the screen.
"Oh… oh Darcy… oh no… honey…"
A headline from a Puento Antigua Times article dated 2014 blared "DEATH OF COLLEGE CO-ED DARCY LEWIS: NATURAL CAUSES OR ALIEN ABDUCTION?"
Jane grabbed the phone from Pepper and gasped, reading to herself. Darcy began to recite.
"Lewis was 25, assistant in a astrophysics lab, and known for a heavy crack cocaine addiction. Suspected cause of death is overdose."
Pepper sputtered- "What!? How… I swear…"
Her denial gave her away.
Jane spoke for her friend.
"You had SHIELD kill off Darcy for your own personal convenience? No loose ends, huh? Since my family's dead there's no need to worry about anyone asking questions but Darcy… you had to figure out Darcy Lewis, didn't you?"
Pepper began to explain furiously, citing Nick Fury and even Agent Asshole, but Darcy was already rolling away.
She wanted to see Loki.
He was meditating. It was something he had seen the man behind the Hulk do in his lab. Something about the serenity in the man's face, no matter how temporary, seemed inviting to an increasingly tormented Loki.
Being on Earth was a punishment from Hell- he could scarcely endure seeing a father and child walk down the street, so seeing entire monuments built to commemorate the victims of his invasion was a miserable experience entirely.
Meditation served as a respite- he found that he could do it even when walking or exercising. Of late he had discovered the Midgardian practice of running for recreation or physical benefit. Loki knew his Aesir/Jotunn body was in shape always, but he enjoyed the sensation of traveling without purpose or identity.
That day though, he was content to sit cross-legged on the ground, dressed in simple cloths he had found in his quarters.
He had cleared his mind of all conscious thought, merely existing as a being in an infinite universe. He thought he may have reached Nirvana as the Buddhists called it when a loud noise began and Loki realized someone was trying to enter his room.
He rose and quickly crossed the room, checking the peephole but seeing no one. He could hear a furious battering against the door though, so he unlocked it and opened it only to narrowly avoid being ran over by Darcy Lewis.
He was about to protest, even jest, but then he saw the expression on her face and a curious sensation of dread filled him. Loki had never felt sorrow for another's sadness, but Darcy seemed to break all his usual conventions.
His introspection was shattered when a heart rending sob exited Darcy's mouth.
Loki took forever to open his damn door and when he did she was ready to scream.
She had never, ever lost control before- even her grief had been a controlled, bridled depression which had manifested itself slowly- but this time Darcy had felt her self-control snap when Pepper tried to explain SHIELD's deception. She had no words for her emotions, only waves of seething anger which resonated in her skull as loudly as Thor's hammer.
Loki immediately responded and knelt before her, grasping her hand and querying "What's wrong?!" His alarm was apparent but she could do nothing to calm his fears.
He repeated the question over and over again but she couldn't stop her tears from falling and she couldn't prevent her breath from hitching, like a child who had cried themselves to exhaustion.
Loki eventually abandoned his pursuit of answers and instead tucked an arm around Darcy, awkwardly embracing her in her wheelchair. Darcy curled into his shoulder as best as she could, each sob wracking her body with convulsions.
Finally, finally, after what felt like hours, she was composed enough to explain the truth- that she no longer existed. Loki listened silently, but his nostrils flared in the most frightening way. If Darcy hadn't been so upset she would have noted the dangerous look in Loki's eyes- which did melt into pity when Darcy explained what else she had read in that ridiculous article.
"Loki… the worst part is- and believe me, this can get worse, apparently- my dad died two years ago! Two fucking years ago and SHIELD never lets me know! My father! My daddy is dead and those bastards can't even take five fucking seconds to ring me up or send me a pigeon or whatever, just say "Yo Lewis, your pops is six feet under, peace bitch! But no, they not only forget to let me know but then they kill me off so my family won't ask questions, and now my mother thinks I'm an ungrateful slut who took advantage of her and her savings to go to college only to become a so-called drug addict who od'ed all alone in the motherfucking middle of nowhere, New Mexico!"
Darcy can feel her heartrate racing and she knows she's about to start crying again when Loki straightens up and lifts her from the chair. She immediately tensed, fearful of being away from her only mode of transportation, as Loki lowered himself onto the ground, balancing her in his lap. She would have been offended if he hadn't such a gentle look in his eyes, and she realized that this was a situation he could relate to- this was a feeling he could understand.
Darcy tried to calm herself, leaning into Loki and repeating to herself silently that she could not let herself get carried away.
Loki was having none of it though, as he began to reassure her.
"Darcy… SHIELD will face dear retribution for their actions- nay, their cruel actions against you. I fear that I may render this entire city to ruin once more should I face that Fury any time in the near future. And as for you, darling Darcy- take heart. Your father died as the man who raised the bravest, most intelligent and compassionate Midgardian ever to live. And your mother will someday know that you are alive, and that you are a source of endless pride rather than shame or disgrace. Worry not sweet- I shall have a serious discussion with SHIELD's monkey minions and we shall resolve this conflict quite speedily, if I have my way." His voice was low and his breath warm against her cheek- immediately her hormones switched gears and she felt herself wanting more and more to place kiss after kiss on Loki's lips.
Darcy remained in Loki's arms a while longer, shutting her eyes and breathing deeply. Loki hummed tunelessly and returned to his meditation.
For a time, the two were at a semblance of peace.
Then Thor burst into the room as alarms began to blare, and it became apparent that Stark Tower was under attack.
Loki barely deposited Darcy to a chair when an explosion reached the floor below them, spurring the God to push Darcy to a safe room guarded by SHIELD agents.
Feeling hopeless as ever, Darcy could feel the niggling sensation of panic clawing at her- it was worry for Loki- and the reminder of her dreams- and the image of a ragged and torn Norse god in the arms of a beast far stronger than anyone could imagine.
In her fear, she wished she had kissed his lips.
Okay I would love reviews because this plot business is getting complicated! Thanks to all readers and reviewers, you all are wonderful!