"Okay, same time tomorrow?" Huey called over his shoulder as he left the DuBois residence.
"Same time!" Jazmine called. "Bye Huey!" She waved, standing on her porch.
Huey walked towards his house, happy that he found a haven.
Once he opened the door, he remembered what he was escaping.
"I ain't ever gon' change it back, Grandad! You'll have to kill me!" Riley shouted, going up the stairs.
Huey stood in front of the door, watching his eight year old brother go up the stairs. Grandad walked towards Huey, from the kitchen. Grandad called over the banister.
"I'm making damn headway, aren't I?" Grandad shouted. "Why can't you let me be happy? I'm dying, and you fuck up my chance of happiness? That's messed up, Riley."
"Not your entire chance of happiness." Riley responded. "A man knows, what a man likes." Riley started laughing.
"Dammit boy! I don't have time for this, you're just going to have to beat yourself!"
"Come on, Grandad. Almost every women you've gone out with are crazy, so statistically that means that men won't be psychos! I'm doing you a favour." Riley reasoned, stifling his laugh.
Grandad sighed. He looked down at Huey. "Here, Huey." Grandad said, throwing his belt. Huey caught it.
"I have to do it?" Huey asked.
"Mmhm. I'm sick of seeing his sweaty negro ass."
"Pause!" Riley shouted.
"Boy, shut your dumbass up." Grandad called. "I need some fresh air." Grandad walked outside.
"Watch the house, don't be dead when I get back." Grandad called, trying to calm himself down, he closed the door behind him.
Huey looked at the door, at first thinking he should go back to the DuBois house, but quickly realized what he had to do. He walked up the stairs.
Riley was in their bedroom, twisting frantically while gaming. Huey closed the door. Riley stopped, and looked up from his game. "Do you still have to beat me?" Riley asked.
"No." Huey said, throwing the belt to one side of the room. "Riley, what you do that for?" He asked.
"I already explained it was because of statistics."
"You wrote in the description 'anything will do.' That includes psychotic, sexually disturbed men." Huey said. "Who could be more violent, and crazy than women." Huey continued.
Riley sighed. "Fine, we all went to Woodcrest mall, right? Grandad wants to buy some food for Sunday dinner. But this nigga goes off and buys some damn peach cobbler! It's WORSE than Mrs. DuBois's! That thing looked like vomit, with cat clumps! You ever see that? It looked like vomit, pee, and cat clumps sprayed orange."
Riley and Grandad stood in the line. The cashier rang up the cost. "Okay that'll be 50 dollars, will this be cash, credit, or cheque?"
"Man, you can't buy that! It look like vomit with cat clumps!" Riley told Grandad.
"It's our bakery's specialty." The women said.
"Then yo' bakery can't tell a cake, from a dying shoe!"
"Boy, quiet down!" Grandad said.
Riley directed his attention to Grandad. "Grandad it look worse than Ms. DuBois's. These niggas tryin' to fool me! I ain't eating that! You can't make me!"
"Yes I can, i'll take my 'DAMN DYING SHOE' put some cobbler in it, and shove it yo' damn disrespectful face!"
"You're in luck, Grandad! They be selling some shoe over there!"
"That's a wedding cake!" The woman cried.
"You tryin' to kill me, Grandad? Huh? You want me gone? This is it, the end of the road, all because some damn cat pee cobbler throw up!" Riley said, his voice breaking. He started crying. "Good bye world!" He shouted over dramatically. He dropped to the ground. "You niggas don't...go... into the light."
He faked death.
Grandad looked around. "Get up, people are watching you."
"I can't get up, I'm dead." Riley's supposed cadaver responded with its flawed logic.
"Dead people can't talk either." Grandad said.
Riley continued telling Huey the story. "Then, guess what? We have Sunday dinner! I smelled this amazing chocolate aroma, then we go downstairs."
Grandad is humming to himself. "Grandad what's for dinner?" Riley asked. The disturbance at the mall hours before, was forgotten.
"Find out." Grandad said, happily.
Riley scarfed down the meal, and quickly moved on to desert. Closing his eyes, and letting the food in.
"This...tastes...like..." Riley was immersed in the food, until he chewed slower, realizing what he ate. "Peach cobbler?"
Grandad laughed wildly, while Huey sat next to Grandad, scowling. "You didn't even look! I could've put all KINDS of bullshit in there!" He continued laughing, and he hit the table. "Cyanide, chloroform. Hell I could've roofied you! Hoo-Hoo, Boy! I guess you must be dead, because I put the Fun in Funeral! Ha ha ha!" Grandad continued laughing, and making fun of Riley.
Riley scowled, and got up from the table. "You tricked me! You made me think I was eating chocolate! That's a bitch move Grandad!" He walked away from the table. Grandad continued laughing, until he fell to the ground. "I gave that cake to the DuBois family!" Grandad called between laughter.
"That's why I did it. He needs to PAY what he OWES!" Riley told Huey. ending the story.
"What does he owe you? He didn't tell you we having that cake." Huey said.
"He baked that cake, gettin' me to infer we was having it!" Riley slurred. "Then, he serves the cobbler? That's a bitch move!"
"Riley this is ridiculous! He doesn't owe you a cake. He put the cobbler on the table, and you closed your eyes." Huey reasoned.
"Even so, I see the profile as the best way to get what he owes." Riley said. "I tried runnin' at him, but he just wound beating my ass."
"He beat your ass this time!" Huey said.
"Yeah, but he could've just changed the profile back! Meaning, that his ass whopping was unnecessary." Riley said, speaking in the slower voice he used during "The Real." "He didn't hurt me though." Riley said, sniffing.
Huey shook his head. "So you want to get a cake, that was never promised to you?" Huey asked.
"It was promised! He put in my head we were going to eat it! I deduced!" Riley called.
"But did he ever say we were gonna eat it?" Huey asked.
"N-No. But that nigga needs to pay what he owes!"
"But he doesn't...huh." Huey sighed. "I'm going downstairs." Huey walked downstairs. "Damn infinite loop."
Huey walked into the kitchen. Grandad had already come back.
"What happened, boy?" Gradad asked, sitting at the table.
"Riley says you owe him a chocolate cake." Huey said. "Grandad, can't you just change your profile back?"
"I could do it, but look at the principle!" Grandad explained. "He did wrote tht bullshit, so he should return it to its original form."
"You're only hurting yourself if you keep that profile up." Huey said.
"It won't hurt for long. He's gonna give in sometime. I do own this house after all, I could do whatever I want. So he's not getting that damn cake!"
"Grandad, why did you make that cake for the DuBois family?" Huey asked.
"I was just feeling generous."
"And you made it, without thinking of making some for the three of us, right?"
"I thought about it at first, but we already had the cobbler."
"So you didn't bake the cake, just to get Riley's hopes up, and then embarrass him for retribution." Huey asked.
Grandad became nervous. "W-Well, he deserved it! The damn boy dropped dead in the store! Yes, I made the cake, and it had some aroma, but I didn't SAY it was for the three of us! He's the one that didn't look before shoving some random food in his mouth! He's lucky I didn't beat his ass that day for embarrassing me!"
"Mmhm." Huey responded. "I'm going over to see Jazmine." Huey said, he walked away. For now his house was going to be a battlefield. Jazmine had already finished eating at her peaceful home, Huey just needed sometime away.