I'M READY TO KICK THIS STORY'S ASS! As in get this plot going and tie up my strings because I FINALLY have to reach the grand finale! But not quite yet : )!
"I feel I must tell you Darcy- I never wanted to be a father."
"Shut up. I'm not the one who cried tears of joy when I found out."
"Well, I wasn't going to respond to the news of my offspring with the loving colloquialism of 'motherfucker', given the Oedipian connotation of the term."
"You're being condescending Loki. We both know this is amazing news and I'm so happy to share this with you- as a friend and a lover."
"I'm scared, Darcy."
"I know, love. You're gonna be great though- don't let any of your history bog you down here, because you are going to be an awesome, fantastic father."
"But… I've never known what it is to be a good father. You know the sordid truth of my origins- and you also know the complicated nature of my relationship with my adoptive father. I have yet to know what good fatherhood is from any of my personal relationships."
"I think you're missing something- or someone- very big here…"
"Who?"
"Ha! Who looks dumb now?"
"Get on with it Darce, don't kick a god when he's gone."
"Thor! It's Thor, world's most surprising great dad! Considering that before, he couldn't handle things like elevators and the modern role of women, Thor has completely risen above and beyond in his role as father to Lucy."
"Ah… yes. Another thing Thor does better… fatherhood. The most irresponsible man I've ever met and yet he's completely succeeded in raising a loving, smart little girl, alongside his wife, and he hasn't fucked it or her up yet."
"Stop feeling sorry for yourself. A: you're muuuuch better than Thor at loads of things. Sex for example- Jane's told me girl stuff about her sexy times with her man and… let's just say he could stand to take some after school tutorials from little bro…"
"Well that's a comfort. I suppose… But seriously Darcy, the timing. We both know I'm not all good… up there."
"If you mean your sanity- we're both not 100%, and Thor and Jane aren't exactly sane either. No one's perfect and that's what parenting is- fucking up and trying different things and making it work. We'll get it, I promise."
"I hope so… but I'm still afraid."
"I for one am not. I feel perfectly safe and protected with you, Loki."
"That's a mistake of epic proportions, darling."
"Beep."
"Beep."
"Beep."
Beep. Beep. Beep. The sound of the heart meter thingy irritated Darcy into consciousness and out of her dream conversation with Loki. The noise hypnotized her, and so she lay there in a trance of sorts, three words swirling in her mind-
Loki-
Lucy-
Miscarriage.
That's when the nurse walked in carrying a tray of food and a suspiciously thick file.
Seeing her ward was awake, the nurse immediately checked Darcy's vitals and blood pressure, ignoring all her questions.
It wasn't until she was assured of her patient's stability that Nurse Efficient pulled up a chair and sat by the bed, implying a long, difficult conversation was to come.
Before Darcy could open her mouth, the nurse began to speak.
"You were five weeks pregnant- and by all medical rules, you should have miscarried that baby with the amount of blood you lost."
"Should?"
"You're still pregnant Ms. Lewis. There is something inside you- not just the baby- some kind of… influence is my only word for it, I suppose. I've also never heard of a paraplegic gaining full use of their legs either- and I did a little research. Whatever your magical boyfriend did saved your life, as well as your baby's. Be careful- be sure to avoid stress- don't physically overdo it- I say this out of concern, but honestly speaking, you're healthy as a horse right now."
Darcy hadn't moved past the nurse's first sentence.
Still. Pregnant.
She was still pregnant.
There had been so much blood- so much blood everywhere- but
She
Was
Still
Pregnant.
The fact that she hadn't even noticed her missed period indicated how blind she'd been the past few weeks, and suddenly a horrible thought struck Darcy.
Thor and Jane had lost their only baby that day- and here Darcy lay, with the beginnings of a life- the start of her family, growing inside of her. Magically growing inside her- Loki's child.
Before the guilt overwhelmed her, she remembered the global crisis at hand. Her research was horribly incomplete and she needed to get her shit together before she went to the Avengers or anyone with a plan.
First, however, she had to get rid of the nurse.
"I'm really thirsty for something sweet- can I please get a smoothie? Strawberry banana, preferably? And a turkey burger on vegan gluten free buns? Please?"
The nurse was solicitous enough to actually go ask the SHIELD cooks if they could rustle up Darcy's request, and with that Darcy crept out of bed, grabbing an abandoned nurse's sweatshirt on her way out, tying it about her waist in the hopes of hiding the open back of her hospital gown.
She almost made it back to her lab when someone waylaid her-
"Where the fuck do you think you're going, Mama?"
Dammit.
"What do you want, Tony?"
The billionaire didn't deign to reply but instead grabbed Darcy's wrist, dragging her to the elevator, pressing the penthouse button.
"This isn't exactly the time for a party, Stark."
"Oh, I know. Your fuckbuddy went postal and basically destroyed Blondie, and he's also murdered hundreds of public officials around the world in a matter of hours!"
"What?! Wait, who and where? Tony, I've been out six hours tops! Please give me Intel, I want to help!"
The elevator doors opened and Tony resumed his dragging of Darcy, who had given up at that point. She expected anything at that point- an inquisition in front of the Avengers, or burning at the stake.
She didn't anticipate being planted upon a sofa covered with cushions and a blanket being tucked too tightly around her.
"What the fuck- Tony, what're you doing?"
"I'm making sure we don't lose any more kids, dammit! Don't even think about arguing! I have three things to tell you before I leave to try and fix his- First, you need to rest. You are incredibly weak, I hacked your file and apparently you've upgraded to a first class high risk pregnancy. Second, THIS IS NOT YOUR FAULT. Even if Fury is turning a blind eye- don't laugh- to the implications, I know full fucking well that something is here to harvest something from Russia-"
"It's a mineral! It's like the-"
"Tesseract, I know, I know. Darcy, I read your research- what little there was, and I've been reading Loki's work. He wasn't being especially evil with it but it was an incredibly detailed study of a substance in the Ural Mountain range of Russia- and lemme tell you, if Thanos or whoever hadn't used Loki to cash in on it, SHIELD would've had its grubby paws all over it. That leads me to the third point- that you are not responsible for any of this, similar to the second point but just for emphasis."
The tirade was unexpected but entirely sweet and Darcy couldn't help it- the tears leaked out.
"Fuck it… Tony, I know. I know that SHIELD should've guessed something was up with Loki but… I knew him. I thought I had solved him, I had fixed him- but… I failed. I failed so miserably and I couldn't see- I was blind! I didn't just get Lucy RIPPED TO SHREDS- I almost killed my baby- our baby- and now Loki's gone on a fucking killing spree for Thanos- Oh my god!"
Darcy suddenly sat up straight, all teariness gone from her tone as she lunged for the Stark Industries tablet on the table, scanning the news for the numerous reports of the deaths around the world.
"Mind telling me what your epiphany was, Sir Isaac?"
"Don't get snippy- I know what Loki's doing! Or Thanos- it's so simple! I read some theory in college when I was still a Political Science major, and I forget its name but basically it states that if enough chaos exists- if anarchy develops and there is absolutely no rule of law, nor any leadership- any seemingly benevolent figure could rise to power. It's a matter of who survives the war- a battle royale and this one is rigged! We're talking Loki's Domination of Earth 2.0-"
"2.0, except this time he'll fucking succeed!"
Realization had dawned on Tony's face immediately- they didn't call him a genius for nothing.
"SHIELD won't pay attention to this Darcy. I have to go- I have people to talk to."
"What about me?!"
"YOU are to do NOTHING."
"Uh…"
Tony lunged to his knees before her and grabbed Darcy's wrists again- so tightly it hurt but he was so furious she didn't notice-
"Darcy Lewis- you may think you can fix everything, but you can't. No one can. You are a psychologist and kickass friend and future mommy- stop risking everything for the wrong people. Protect this kid and yourself- they matter more than me, or this world, or Loki. Don't be selfless, for once. Just… stay here. This is secure- JARVIS is on red alert and I've got safe rooms in waiting for anything. All I can promise you is an open comm with me (he pulled out a Bluetooth) and a clear line. If you find out anything, tell me."
Darcy couldn't swallow the lump in her throat so she merely nodded- and hugged Tony tightly.
"Good luck, Iron Man."
"You too."
Tony strode to his Iron Man pad, but he backtracked for a moment and glanced at Darcy.
"By the way- ah, I don't know how to say this because I didn't think it was possible, but your chest is even more phenomenal than usual. Iron Man approves!"
And with that objectifying remark, Darcy's only hope ran out of the penthouse and into the air as he transformed into his other self.
"Other self… huh."
Darcy decided the best course of action was to attempt battle from inside- with research and data and knowledge. Sadly, the internet and Loki's files were now useless and trite. Darcy wanted to rip her hair out from frustration but instead gritted her teeth and faced the reality that she had no way of physically helping the situation.
The key word, of course, was physical. Darcy hadn't ever properly tested the full capabilities of her psychic link with Loki. It seemed like a deep meditating session was desperately necessary, and so she carefully lay back on the sofa, hands resting over her stomach in a manner too symbolic for her to dwell on. Before she cleared her mind, Darcy focused on the two emotions battling it out in her mind at that moment. First was rage- white hot, potent fury that was aimed at Thanos and herself and Nick Asshole, but mostly herself. The second emotion was love- a strong, overwhelming well of strength that filled her from her toes to her head, love for Jane and Lucy and Thor and then Loki, her Loki- that love which was tearing her apart, only to be repaired by a new and sudden love- something so surprisingly fierce that she could hardly fathom its existence-
There was a little Darcy or Loki dwelling within her- a child as innocent as any- as innocent as baby Lucy who had deserved the world- as blameless a baby as little Loki, who had deserved real love and affection from his parents, biological and adoptive. Her baby was going to get everything those babies had missed out on and Darcy Lewis was going to be damned if some punk-ass bitch alien named Thanos was going to take that away from it.
Tempering the anger, Darcy resolved to make contact with Loki to see what exactly she was dealing with- the thing behind the door her lover had so feared last time she had tapped into his mind.
Her heartbeat was slowing down with the calming position, but simultaneously Darcy felt an adrenaline rush building within her- she was about to wage her own personal battle for Earth, on scale with any battle the Avengers had ever fought.
The stakes were higher than ever, too. With a final resounding thought, Darcy shut her eyes to the world and focused on the darkness of the empty consciousness.
Slowly, but surely, a bright silver thread glimmered into visibility, and timidly, Darcy consciously attempted to touch it. Somehow her prodding caused the thread to glow more brightly, and a warm feeling spread through Darcy.
The darkness began to bleed into a light, and suddenly Darcy was in an open field. The sky above was roiling with violent shades of red and blue, and the grass beneath her feet was brittle and dry.
Mouth dry, Darcy hoarsely called out, "Loki! I need to talk with you!"
It wasn't a moment before he appeared, only he wasn't truly him. Darcy was finally exposed to the extent of the damage Loki's mind had endured throughout his lifetime- whether it was Thanos' fault or Odin's she couldn't say.
All she knew is that this was not Loki.
This entity was a projection of madness and nothing more- a juggernaut of negative energy and dark matter. The eyes were demonic- reddish tinged with black and grey, with lines etched so deeply around them they seemed like cracks. The hair was jagged and wild and filthy in its inky blackness, and the snarl of its smile resembled a hyena, not her Loki's smirk at all. Darcy could deal with a fake Loki quite easily-
Knowing that her actual lover wasn't this monster reassured her enough to challenge it.
"So your boss is sending out stupid holograms to scare me?"
The thing's voice was metallic and painful to listen to- it felt like rusted steel grating against a chalkboard, but Darcy steeled herself to the din and ignored its gibberish.
"I know you're not real! I know you're fake, and I know that you CANNOT hurt me!"
The thing stilled, and its eerie smile widened to the point that its cheeks split, causing black blood to seep from the cuts.
"I wouldn't be so sure of that, Darcy Lewis."
The thing summoned some kind of knife and began to teleport around Darcy, shifting from angle to angle, veering closer to Darcy-
Fear filled her and all she wished for at that moment was her old Taser from Puente Antigua- and then the cool touch of plastic caressed her hand and she was raising her hand then and then she pulled the trigger and it made instant contact on the neck of the thing, which had appeared centimeters away from her face.
The thing crumpled into a pile of ashes, and Darcy felt a shred of hope triumphantly batter down the terror.
This wasn't just a psychic link- she was the master of her own subconscious, like in a lucid dream, and she was completely in control.
Darcy suddenly felt a hell of a lot less helpless, and with a temporary surge in confidence, she tried to take herself back to the weird rubble of New York City, the setting of several of her nightmares.
It was time to say hello to Thanos.
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