Back to Syed's P.O.V., lets relive that first kiss one more time ;-). This chapter is dedicated to Rhumba from DS. Hope you enjoy it!

~s~c~

'Cause this isn't just about religion, is it?'

The intensity of his question is matched by the intensity of his stare. Determined to get an answer. Determined to get to the truth. I feel my resistance crumbling into nothingness. And within that moment, I know the truth. This is what I came here for. I've gotten so good at the lies, that I was unable to see the truth. But I see it now.

I know all the reasons why I shouldn't do what I'm about to do. Nothing has changed. The only thing that has changed, is my acceptance. My acceptance is apparently so great, that I have started to move into him without realising it. I can see his handsome face come closer and closer and I don't seem to be able to stop it. I want to close my eyes, afraid to see his reaction, but it's like I have no say over my own body anymore. He is like a powerful magnet, drawing me in. With that, I let go of my last reservations and softly press my lips on his.

Oh.

It is like sensation overload. I can both feel and hear my blood pumping through my veins, the feeling intoxicating, the sound almost deafening. My emotions are searing at a level where I no longer know if I want to laugh or cry, my feelings too complex to decipher. They are tangible, evoking purely physical responses. My brain has shut down, all I can do is feel. I want to both shove myself up against him, getting as close as I can possibly get, and I want to break the light but yet so intense connection of our lips at the same time. Unable to suffer the avalanche of sensations any longer, I sever our lips. The instant our connection is broken, my body yearns for reinstatement. I resist the urge to reclaim his lips, but can't help myself touching my forehead to his.

When I feel steady enough to move, I take a step back, eyes cast down. The moment the contact is broken, my brain starts to function again. I have been so focussed on my own experiences, that I have no idea of his reaction. Suddenly it is all I can think about. I want to know what Christian is thinking, what he is feeling. Or more specifically, I want to know what he is thinking and feeling… about me. I want to know, I have to know, but I'm scared. Scared to look up, into his eyes. Scared of what I might find there.

We stand there for what feels like hours. I can't move. I can scarcely breathe.

'Syed?'

The sound of him saying my name startles me. Suddenly, I am aware of his hand, still on my arm. And then his huge, warm, strong hand, is gently cupping my cheek. I fight to stay still, for all I want to do is press my cheek into his hand and purr like a kitten. An embarrassing blush colours my face. Just as I notice his thumb drawing gentle patterns on my arm, I hear him speak my name again.

'Syed?'

But still I resist the urge to look up.

'Sy?'

My name is like a mere breath on his lips. Before I can help myself, I look up. The moment our eyes connect, I feel it. No mater how wrong it may be, no matter how much I have to loose, at least I know I'm not alone. He's right here with me. It is not me, just imagining our connection. He feels it too. I relief washes over me, not exactly obliterating my jumbled emotions, but definitely blurring away the rough edges. My eyes swim, and I know I am shamelessly pleading him with my eyes. Pleading for him to take over, stop me thinking, make all the bad feelings go away and feel only the good.

I can't believe I'm opening myself up to him like this. I am a guarded person, have been forced to learn how to be that way. Always thinking before I speak, thinking even harder before I act. A convenient mask, always available to keep my true feelings hidden. Shutters at the ready, keeping everyone out. But not now. I can feel his searching eyes look deep inside me, leaving me more vulnerable than I have ever been. I suppose this should be scaring me, but amazingly, it is not. Before I can examine these feelings further, he moves his hand behind my neck and pulls me into him for a crushing kiss. Shock ripples through my body, but when the last tremor has gone, it has taken all my tension with it. I relax as he embraces me tightly and I open my mouth for his searching tongue.

No more room for thought. His presence has filled me, closing everything else out. I feel his tongue probing around in my mouth. Hesitantly, I use my own tongue to touch his. Immediately he caresses me, stroking the sides, darting around and sucking the tip softly. Hesitation is gone, and I enthusiastically play along, raising my hands up to settle in his hair and pull him even closer. My satisfied little grunts, mingling with his, are so pleasing to my ears that I can feel my toes curling. I'm sure nothing can feel better than this, until I feel him scrunch up my shirt and his hands are on my naked skin. At that contact, my breath catches in my throat. Immediately, his movements still.

'Sy? You ok? Want me to stop?' His words come between heavy pants. I shake my head violently.

'No'. It sounds more like a groan than a word to me.

Tentatively, he moves his hands over my back. I shiver at his caress, pressing my face against his shoulder to stifle my wanton cries. Encouraged by my reaction, he strokes up and down my spine gently, gradually increasing the pressure. My whole body is tingling from his touch, goose bumps all over my skin, aching to be touched. I lean into him, unashamed to let him feel how much I desire him as I thrust my hips against him. I feel a satisfied thrill as I hear his breath race and he groans heavily. Knowing that I have this effect on him, makes me feel powerful. I twist my head, and press my lips against the first piece of skin I can find, a soft spot at the bottom of his neck. Not enough, my greedy body is yelling at me. It wants more. Decisively, I grab his shirt and start pulling it free. The material is way to stiff and tight, making it a struggle. With a frustrated growl, I pull myself free of him.

'Take it off', I demand. I am shocked at the sound of my own lust filled voice. Shocked, but pleased.

Now it is his turn to hesitate.

'Are you sure you want to do this? Shouldn't we… I don't know… talk about this?'

'No talking', I answer resolutely. I send him a pleading look, locking eyes with him until I see him yield to my wishes, acknowledging them with a tiny nod.

'Now… Take. It. Off.' I insist.

Without another word he starts opening the buttons of his shirt. My eyes are glued to his fingers as they pop each button to reveal more skin, saving the cufflinks for last. He opens his shirt while pulling it free. Then, with a shrug of his shoulder and a quick pull, the shirt is lying at his feet. I gasp and drink in the sight of his powerful, naked chest. I reach out my hands and place them flat on his chest, spreading my fingers wide. The feel of his naked skin beneath my fingers is indescribable. I frantically start to trace every inch of it with my fingers, touching his collarbone, his shoulder blades, biceps, abdomen, nipples, back, waist... Mesmerized by the sight and the feel of him, I am suddenly disorientated as he pulls my shirt over my head with no warning. For a second, I have the ridiculous urge to cross my arms in front of me. But then I notice the look in his eyes as he takes in the sight of me. His stare is like the caress of the sun on a beautiful summer day, and the appreciation in his eyes makes me forget about my insecurities.

'God, you are beautiful. You know that right?'

I swallow. Is he expecting me to answer that? But before I can worry myself over this, he grabs my hand and yanks me close. Catching me off guard, I collide into his body, the breath forced out off me with an oompf. I manage to gasp one huge breath, before he captures my mouth into another fierce kiss. The combination of the lack of air and the feel of naked skin on naked skin, is overwhelming me. I feel my knees buckling beneath me, and fling my arms around his neck for support. With one fluent motion, he glides his hands up my sides to my armpits, picks me up as if I weigh nothing and plants my ass on the stainless steel worktop behind me. Before I know what's hit me, he steps in between my thighs, curls his arms around my waist and pushes our bodies close. I am enchanted by the fact that I am now slightly looking down on him. Experimentally, I use my hands to tilt his head back, and cover his mouth with mine. He willingly lets me dominate him, opening his mouth for my invading tongue. I've been kissed before, have kissed a man before, but never was it anywhere as intense as this. In a desperate attempt to get even closer, I slide to the edge of the worktop and wrap my legs around his waist. We both hiss our breath as our still clothed crotches collide. The feel of his erection against mine, makes me whimper into his mouth. He shudders, moans, and gingerly bucks his hips up against me. I rip my mouth free to gaps for air, trying to refocus my half closed eyes. He bucks his hips again, more boldly now, and all I can do is arch my back, throw back my head and grunt his name.

'Christian'.

'You like that?', I can practically hear his lips curl into a smile as he asks me that. All I can do is lift my head and nod.

'Want me to do it again?' he teases me.

'Yes' I answer, but instead of waiting for him to take action, I use my heels to push him back into me. He chuckles approvingly, before thrusting himself into me in earnest, rocking back and forth, causing our erections to rub together with delicious friction. I cling onto him, panting, pressing kisses on every part of him I can reach, and when that is not enough, licking him, biting him, all the while meeting him thrust for thrust. I want to tell him to keep doing this, harder, faster, how good it feels, but all I can manage are tiny little cries and low moaning sounds. Feeling reckless, I slide my hands down his chest, teasing his nipples on my way. When my hands reach his waistband, I start to unbutton his trousers. Suddenly, his hand is on mine, stopping my movements.

'What? What's wrong?' I ask him.

He shakes his head, fighting to get himself back under control. He steps back from between my thighs, gently setting me back on the ground. When he is certain my legs will support me, he releases me.

'We're not going to do this. Not here', he says quietly.

'Will you come back to mine?' he continues, and then he looks at me.

I take a deep breath, and recognize this moment for what it is. The moment of truth. The point of no return. He is giving me the opportunity to escape. Walk away. Pretend this never happened. Or…

Or I can go with him and experience the night I've been fantasizing about for weeks. I can read the promise of exactly how good it is going to be in his smouldering eyes. I look at him as he stands before me, lips swollen from our kissing, his naked chest heaving, the bulge of his erection straining against the fabric of his trousers. My eyes widen and my mouth feels dry. It is up to me now. My choice. My decision.

I close my eyes, and count to ten, heavily breathing in and out. When I open them again, I have a semblance of control back. Silently, I crouch down to pick my discarded shirt up of the floor. I let it float over my head, even the flighty touch of my thin shirt sending shivers through my now oversensitive skin. Only then do I look up at him.

'Let's go', is all I manage to say. But it is more than enough.

~s~c~

No, this is not the end... But you'll have to wait for the next chapter I'm afraid! As always, reviews are appreciated!