BENSIDY APARTMENT EARLY EVENING

After a long and emotionally draining day she was finally home and thankful to have some quiet time to herself. Mary had gone home to her own house and after much persuading, she was able to convince Nick, Fin, Amanda, Munch and Don that she didn't need babysitting and would be alright by herself tonight. She just needed time to let the day's events sink in. One thing was for sure, after so much standing and sitting on hard wooden seats all morning, her back was now hurting even worse than before. She quickly decided on a hot shower before going to bed, hoping that it would help alleviate the pain but she'd hoped in vain. While it had helped with the pain while she was under the water when she climbed into bed, lying down only made it worse! She tossed and turned for much of the night, thoroughly exhausted but unable to sleep because of the pain which had now graduated from a horrific ache, to sharp stabs that sent incredible shots of pain radiating through her entire lower back. She tried changing positions, she tried her body pillow but nothing seemed to help. It was now 1:46am. She finally gave up on sleeping and slowly got up. Her back was hurting so bad that she was in tears! She slowly made her way to the bathroom and opened the mirror above the sink, taking a bottle of Tylenol from it. Her hands were shaky as she opened the bottle. When she'd gotten the cap off, she shook two pills out into her hand and suddenly froze, staring at them as if they would jump from her palm at any second and harm her.

"You can do this, Olivia, just take the damn pills!" she scolded herself, the pain in her back reminding her of how much she needed them yet she just continued to stare at them.

"SWALLOW!" Lewis demanded. He was sitting on her chest and forcing whiskey into her mouth to wash down the several Vicodin he'd practically shoved down her throat but she couldn't. She was gagging on the pills that were at the back of her tongue and with the weight of him on her chest, she could barely breathe, much less swallow, and now, the whiskey was forcing her to choke.

"You throw up, I'll make you eat it!"

She quickly snapped out of the memory and threw the pills into the toilet then, picked up the still-open bottle and dumped them as well, flushing and dropping the empty container into the trash.

She made her way to the living room, deciding that maybe it would be better to sit instead of lying down but she found that to be an even bigger mistake as it only succeeded in putting more pressure on her lower back and she cried out, the intensity of it causing her eyes to fill with tears. She quickly reached over and grabbed the phone from its base and dialed. The phone rang once on the other end before Nick picked up.

"Liv, what's wrong?" He answered, worry in his voice. He quickly got out of bed.

"I'm sorry to bother you this late, I just..."

"Liv, you're not a bother. What's goin on?" he asked, already pulling on clothes.

"I don't know. My back is in so much pain."

"Did you take anything for it?" he stepped into a pair of sneakers.

"I couldn't... I..."

"It's ok. You need me to come over?" he was going anyway.

"Yes."

"Say no more, I'm on my way!" he put his phone in his pocket before going to the naked woman asleep in the bed. "hey, I gotta go, l'll let myself out."

"Mmmkay." She answered groggily before pulling him in for a sensuous kiss. "you were amazing!" she told him."

"Yeah, you too. He said and placed a quick kiss on her lips then grabbed his car keys and left. She smiled as she turned over and got comfortable, quickly falling asleep again. They'd had a night of ridiculously wild sex. He'd fucked her brains out for hours and now she felt like she could sleep forever!

As he got in his black Denali and started the engine, he wondered aloud to himself, "How the fuck did I let myself end up in bed with Rollins?!"

BENSIDY APARTMENT. 2:19 AM

He'd gotten there exactly 24 minutes after she'd called him. With no traffic, he stuck the police light to his car and sped all the way there. She was in bad shape. He'd entered the apartment to find her lying on the couch propped up with half a dozen pillows.

"I used my key, I hope that's ok." He apologized as he rushed over to her. "How long have you been like this?"

"Not long."

"Liv..."

"...five or six hours."

"Five or six hours? Liv, are you kidding me, why didn't you call me sooner?"

"I didn't wanna..."

"...be a bother. Liv, you gotta stop thinking like that, especially now. You're 39 weeks pregnant; this baby could come any day... the pain in your back, is it high or low?"

"Low." She winced. He reached around to her back, resting his fingers against the base of her spine.

"Here?" she flinched

"No, don't touch it!" she cried, he quickly pulled his hand away.

"I'm sorry It's okay." He said, making sure to put both his hands in front of her where she could see them. "I'm just gonna apply a little pressure, it should help with the pain. Do I have your permission?"

"What? This isn't a flashback issue you ass, I don't want you to touch it because it hurts!" she cried. He smiled. He'd never been happier to hear Olivia yell at him. She just stared quizzically at him.

"Are you gonna let me rub your back?"

"You'll just make it worse!"

"I won't, I promise."

"Be easy." She said as he began kneading his knuckles into her back, putting pressure on just the right areas. She let out a relieved sigh as the pain immediately began to lessen.

"Have you called your doctor?" he asked as he continued.

"No."

"Well you should, this could be labor."

"I'm not having contractions."

"That's because they're in your back instead of... well you know."

"God, please don't say that. I'm sure this is just the result of being on my feet all day." She said, feeling sleep creeping up on her now that there wasn't so much pain and as her eyes began drifting closed...

"Nick... I really appreciate the way you've been here for us; and for being here now, I... thank you." That made him emotional and he tried to suck it up.

"Don't worry about it; try to get some sleep."

"Okay." She nodded and closed her eyes as he continued to massage her back. within minutes she was fast asleep, curled up on her side, her arm across her belly. he got up and covered her with the throw that was draped over the back of the sofa before going to the kitchen to put on a pot of coffee. It was going to be a long night and he wouldn't get much sleep; neither would Olivia, because though she was afraid to face it, he had gone through the exactly same thing when Zara was born. Olivia was definitely in labor and it was gonna be a long one!

8:05 AM. HOSPITAL.

They'd arrived at the hospital a little over an hour ago. She'd woken 3 times since falling asleep around 2:30am, had taken 3 hot showers and still no relief. She was still in denial that this could be labor, but when her water broke right around 6 this morning, there was no more denying! And while she was grateful to have been relieved of the tremendous pressure in her abdomen, she began to panic.

"Nick, I can't do this!" she cried as they drove to the hospital. He held her hand to calm her, she squeezed it hard, the pain in her back still unyielding and made worse by the car ride.

"Positive thoughts, remember?"

"Yeah. Positive thoughts... Ohhhh!" she moaned, squeezing her eyes shut.

"Another contraction?" she nodded. "don't worry, we'll be there soon!

She met her labor and delivery nurse, Lena when they'd arrived at the hospital and decided that she liked her. Nick left the room while Lena assisted Olivia with changing and they discussed a few things like the details of her birth plan. After a while, Nick was allowed back in. She was doing good at first but then after about an hour, she changed. He could feel the desolation closing in on her and tried everything he could to make her feel better but she had slipped into her anger again and his efforts only made it worse to the point where she was now angry with him for no reason and demanded that he leave her alone. He understood that right now, she was just feeling sorry for herself and didn't mean the things she was saying, but he also knew that she needed to calm down or it would spell trouble for her and the baby so he left against his better judgment and went to the waiting room to give her time to calm down. besides, he had plenty company, the waiting room was full of NYPD!

1:30PM...

Her nurse was concerned. From the time she'd gotten here, she hadn't said a word except when it was absolutely necessary, and even then she kept it monosyllabic. She just lay in bed. No expression on her face or in her eyes. Only tears ...a deluge of silently cried tears that never seemed to stop. Then after a few hours when the contractions began to intensify, the moaning came, but still, no words. She had refused any pain relief but right now, it was becoming too much for her to handle. She wouldn't let the nurses near her more than they medically needed to be. The only time she had heard her patient do any real talking was when she began yelling at the man who had brought her here. Something had obviously set her off and she demanded that he leave her alone. Reluctantly, he had retreated to the waiting room 2 hours ago. Was he still here? She knew that she shouldn't pry but she also knew that her job was to help her patient and right now, her patient was struggling; something was pulling her into a dark place and she was shutting down.

Lena left Olivia's room and walked down the hall to the nurses station. Maybe there was something in her file that could give her a bit of insight but then, maybe she really shouldn't pry. She stood there deciding what the best course of action should be when two of the newer nurses came by and were waiting for the elevator, gossiping as usual and loud enough for anyone within ten or fifteen feet to hear. Lena never liked these two very much, they were completely shallow and vapid and she had no idea how they'd even gotten in to nursing school.

"OMG, did you hear? We have a like a semi-celeb about to GB."

"Nuh uhh! Who?"

"that lady cop in 318..." Lena's ears couldn't help but fine-tune to their conversation. That was Olivia's room.

"Deets!"

"ok, so it was a really, really long time ago... like last year or something; anyway, this guy, he's like a total McHottie! He kidnapped her, had her hostage for like a month and beat the crap out of her, it was all over the news! I heard he even killed her dog!"

"That is like the saddest thing I've ever heard!" the shorter blonde said as the elevator doors opened. "Why would he hurt a dog?"

"Like, I don't know... maybe he's allergic!" the taller one said, shrugging as the doors closed. Lena was speechless! could there be some validity to what dumb and dumber just said? She pulled her phone from her pocket and quickly googled female NYPD cop abducted and sure enough, there was Olivia. She clicked the first article and skimmed through it.

NYPD Detective Olivia Benson... William Lewis... Detective Benson was abducted from her apartment... the next part completely devastated her.

...brutally raped and tortured for four days before being rescued.

She wished so hard that she'd never heard those airheads talking, but at least now she knew that her patient's odd behavior wasn't odd at all and she knew what she needed to do for her.

WAITING ROOM...

Nurse Lena was shocked when she walked into the waiting room and saw that it was filled, wall-to-wall with NYPD officers, sitting and standing anywhere they could. Had a crime been committed that she wasn't aware of?

"Excuse me." she spoke up as loud as she could. "I'm looking for the family of Olivia Cassidy." She was again shocked when every cop in the room turned to look at her and practically all of the voices said in unison, "That's us!" she was impressed!

"Wow! Ummm ... the one who brought her in. I believe his name was Nick?"

"Hey, Amaro!" Luke called from the crowd. And within seconds, the crowd parted and Nick appeared in front of her.

"She okay?" was the first thing he asked as Amanda, and Munch gathered around. Cragen had meetings all day and Fin was on a case.

"She is..."

"But?" Amanda asked

"She'd probably kill me if she knew that I was out here!"

"Probably? Ah! I see you're an optimist!" Munch said. Lena smiled.

"Look, I know that she threw you out of the room earlier and told you to leave but I'm really glad that you're still here. She's not okay. I mean physically she's fine, considering... but she's having a really hard time emotionally. She needs someone in there." Nick didn't need another word before he pushed past Munch and headed back to Olivia's room.

Her contractions had gotten worse, longer and much closer together, that last one being even more brutal than the others. With the excruciating pain still in her back, her whole body felt like it was splitting apart and there was no way to find comfort which was why she chose shuffling around the room over being in that bed.

"Nick, leave! She ordered in a tired voice while hunched over the back of a chair. She didn't even turn to look at him. She knew that it was him there in the doorway and she was not going through this again with him.

"Liv, I just-" He began as he walked closer to her.

"Damn it Amaro! Do you understand the word 'leave'? I don't want you here!" she lied. "Now get the hell out!" she yelled, more at the pain shooting through her back than at him.

"Look, you wanna be angry with me? you wanna pull rank, kick my ass? That's fine, but do it some other time because you don't need to be alone right now and I am not leaving you!

"Nick, please, I don't have the strength to fight with you!" She was obviously exhausted, and not just from the labor. She was still very much mourning Brian's loss and for her, that was still more painful than anything that she was experiencing physically right now.

"Then don't."

Even though her pride wouldn't let her admit it, she was thankful for Nick's stubbornness right now. She stood there momentarily boring into him with anger and resentment in her eyes, but he saw something else there too; relief! She wanted him here, even if she couldn't say it. He knew he was right when she began moaning at the start of another contraction, the moan escalating into a loud cry and she reached for his hand, gripping and squeezing it tight and panting heavily as she fought back tears, but the pain was too much and she gave in. Nick wasted no time and jumped right into coach mode.

"It's okay Liv, I got you. Just breathe!"

"I can't do this! I need Brian!" she cried, squeezing her eyes shut while trying to get her breathing under control.

"I know, Liv"

"YOU DON'T KNOW!" she yelled before the pain caused her to cry out even louder. "He's supposed to be here, with me, with our baby. Not there! Not in a grave!" she was sobbing now. "He promised me, he swore that he wouldn't leave me, Nick, but he's g-gone and I'm here alone and I need him!"

"Liv, Brian loved you more than anything, he didn't leave you on purpose."

"But he's still gone." she cried, the pain forcing her to squeeze her eyes shut while she rode it out. When it finally passed, she slowly blew out deep cleansing breaths like Nick instructed her to as he held her hand. "I feel so angry with him for leaving me and I know how wrong that sounds, but I'm just so lost without him!"

"It's okay to feel that way, Liv you loved him." He said as he massaged her back with his free hand.

"I don't know how to do this; any of this without him!"

"But that's just it, you're already doin it." more tears streamed her face.

"I miss him so much!" She turned to Nick and cried in his arms.

12:25AM...

"You're still only four centimeters dilated. Olivia, I know that you wanted to do this naturally..."

"I WILL do this naturally!" she made clear to the doctor, trying to steady her breathing.

"Honey you're not progressing. Your contractions say that you're in transition but you're not opening and we're running out of options."

"wh-what about cervical massage?" she was in the middle of a contraction and they were at their worst right now. "I read that it can..." she cried out loud, practically screaming as she gripped Nick's hand, forcing breath in and out of her lungs. "That it can break up the scar tissue and I'll dilate faster... Oh god!" she groaned pitifully.

"It can, but I'm not experienced with it." The doctor informed her

"Then get someone who is!" Olivia cried "My baby and I are both fine, there's no reason to have him or her cut out of me if it can be avoided!"

"If it were that simp..."

"We're in a maternity ward full of doctors and nurses; you tellin me no one knows how to do this?" Nick asked, he was angry at the doctor's reluctance to listen to Olivia and it showed in his voice.

"Even if there is, you have to be made aware of how painful it would be."

"I'M ALREADY IN FUCKING PAIN!" she screamed then started to cry again. "My water broke over 18 hours ago, after 24 I don't have a choice. I don't want a ceasarean, and if this can help me avoid it, then I wanna do it, I don't care about the pain!"

"I'll see what I can..." the doctor began.

"Actually..." Nurse Lena interjected. "I can do it." a look of relief washed over Olivia. "I'm a licensed mid-wife I've done it dozens of times, but I won't lie, it's gonna hurt like hell!"

2:52AM...

An hour later, things had sped up considerably. Manipulating the scar tissue relaxed Olivia's cervix and it quickly dilated from 4 to 8 centimeters. Of course now that labor was progressing so fast that meant even more pain, her contractions were stronger and literally on top of each other. She was completely delirious from the pain. Nick never left her side, he held her hand, wiped her brow even let her scream at him when she needed to and when those brief moments would come where he could tell that she was drifting into dangerous emotional territory, he would quickly pull her back but as the hours wore on, it was becoming more and more difficult for her to stay lucid; crying out for Brian and asking why he hadn't gotten there yet. Nick tried his best, but she was beyond exhausted and he didn't know how much more she'd be able to take. He was thankful that Nurse Lena had volunteered to stay after her shift had ended. She was so good with Olivia and promised that she would stay with her until the baby was born, no matter how long it took. But another much younger nurse was on duty and she was completely useless! Her name was Tara and Nick thought that maybe the anesthesiologist had sent her in to drum up some business, because since she got here at 4:00PM, all she seemed to know how to do was suggest that Olivia have an epidural every couple hours.

The first couple times, Olivia brushed it off, assuming that perhaps she wasn't familiar with her birth plan and that she'd be doing this without drugs. But then the third time it became annoying and Lena quickly chastened her, telling her to drop the issue. Now, Olivia lay here in bed, drenched in sweat and literally screaming through powerful contractions while crushing Nick's hand and Nurse Tara decided once again to offer up her magical advice.

"It's probably not too late to get that epidural." Before Nick knew what was happening, Olivia had reached out and grabbed Nurse Tara by the hair and yanked her head down so that she was face to face with her.

"SAY EPIDURAL ONE. MORE. TIME!" She threatened, looking as if she'd been possessed by a demon. All of the color drained from Tara's face and she was now white as a ghost!

"I'm sorry." She squeaked scared shitless as Olivia released her and Lena walked back in the room. Nick had to fight to keep from laughing.

"Lena please get her out of here! Oh God..." She cried, taking deep breaths and drawing her legs back. she was suddenly overcome with powerful pressure "Oh God, I need to push! " She cried out as it intensified. "NOW!"

"You feeling pressure?" Olivia nodded as she moaned.

"A lot!" the urge to push was overwhelming.

"Ok honey, I'm gonna check your dilation. you, outside, now!" she barked at Tara after having just spoken so sweetly to Olivia.

A moment later...

"No wonder you feel so much pressure, your baby's head is right at your cervix you're fully dilated. I'm gonna get the doctor, I want you to try not to push!" she said and hurried from the room.

Just 27 minutes later, at 3:19 in the morning, there was a long, agonizing scream from Olivia's room, quickly followed by a baby's cries. Moments later Nick walked out into the waiting area where there were still literally dozens of police officers gathered to lend Olivia their support. They all stopped what they were doing and turned their attention to Nick. There was dead silence as they anxiously waited for him to speak.

"IT'S A BOY!" Nick announced. Instantly, the room erupted with thunderous cheers, many of the officers even breaking down in tears at the joyous news.

"How's Liv?" Cragen asked, teary eyed and beaming like a proud Grandpa.

"Exhausted, but she's fine Captain! They put her son in her arms and... she can't stop smiling!"

"Lord knows, if anybody deserves to smile, it's Liv!" Amanda said.

"You tell Baby Girl how happy we are for her and let her know we'll be back as soon as they allow visiting hours!" Fin said as he hugged Nick. "Thanks for bein there for her!"

Luke made his way over to Nick. "A boy!" he said, teary eyed and smiling. "Man! He'd be so proud! You're a good guy, Amaro!" he said and threw his arms around Nick in a bear hug. Luke was a big guy and lifted Nick off his feet, spinning him around.

"Okay there, big guy!" Nick said. Luke quickly set him back down.

"Sorry about that. Tell Liv congratulations!" he said to Nick before turning to the crowd of officers. "Hey guys, let's go have a drink with Cassidy and tell him his boy is here!" Captain Johnson quickly spoke up to the mob as they began making their exodus:

"Keep in mind, each of you that you are police officers and I expect you all to behave as such!"

"Yes Sir!" they all answered before leaving.

"we should probably get out of here too." Cragen said. "Tell Liv I'm proud of her!"

"Sure thing Cap!"

"Give Detective Benson my best!" Captain Johnson said as he shook Nick's hand. He and Cragen walked out together.

"I'm gonna stop by the ME's office and give Melinda the news...Rollins, you comin?" Fin asked.

"Yeah, just gonna use the little girls room; I'll meet you outside in five!"

"Cool!" he walked away, running to catch the elevator before the doors closed. Amanda looked behind her until she was sure that everyone was gone then nervously stepped closer to Nick.

"That was a pretty great thing you did, being there for Liv like that." She said, fidgeting with her fingers.

"I couldn't let her go through it alone. I just hope I don't have to pull my gun anytime soon because my trigger hand is done! I think she cracked a few bones!" they both grinned, a lengthy, awkward silence between them.

"Nick, about last night... I'm sorry if I pushed things farther than you wanted to - "before she could finish he pulled her into his arms and kissed her with all his with all his might. She immediately threw her arms around him and kissed him back just as hungrily. They went on like that for a long moment before he pulled away, leaving her dazed.

"I did what I did last night because I wanted to do it. Not because you pushed. Okay?"

"Okay." She said, smiling. He continued looking down at her, keeping his face close to hers, his hand on the back of her neck.

"You workin today?"

"Off at seven tonight."

"Good. I'll be there at 8... and when you answer the door, the only thing I better see you wearing are stilettos!" she was speechless and simply nodded. He smiled slyly. "See you tonight." He said and walked away. A slight moan escaped her lips. She was absolutely dripping between her thighs! She couldn't move from the spot she was standing in and just watched him walk away not realizing that she had slipped her hand into her blouse and was touching herself while she bit her lip. Then just as quickly, she snapped out of it and withdrew her hand from her blouse, embarrassed. Thank God no one was here to see that! She thought. She'd have to remember to do something extra special for Olivia, not just because of the birth but because she had put this whole thing with Nick in motion. Liv was right, sometimes they are right under your nose! Amanda Rollins was a very happy girl as she left the hospital early that A.M.

OLIVIA'S ROOM

Just before 6:00AM, Olivia groggily opened her eyes and focused them on the figure that was standing by the window in her room. The sun hadn't quite yet come up and the room was very dimly lit. She immediately felt her heart begin to race.

"Bri?" she called, barely above a whisper."

"Nah, it's just me, Liv." Nick answered as he turned around, her baby boy cradled in his arms. When she saw her tiny bundle, her anxiety immediately faded away and her body relaxed; a beautiful, smile spreading across her face.

"I thought I dreamed him!" she said softly.

"Nope." Nick said as he walked towards her bed. "he's here... all 9 pounds, 14 ounces of him!"

"My little linebacker!"

"The nurse brought him in a little while ago so you could try feeding him. But he seemed pretty content and you looked so peaceful I decided to keep him company until you woke up." he said as he carefully placed the sleeping newborn into her waiting arms. "There's mommy." He cooed to the baby. Olivia looked down at her son, her tears came swiftly but they were happy tears."

"I can't believe how beautiful he is, or that he came out of me... did I really do this?" she asked, never taking her eyes away from him her son.

"You sure did, and I have the crushed hand and busted ear drum to prove it." he smiled. she laughed as her fingers marveled over every inch of her beautiful son; from the top of his little head that was covered in thick, dark curls, to the toes of his tiny foot that had slipped from the receiving blanket that loosely swaddled him.

"Hey little bug." She said sweetly as her son stirred and stretched in her arms. "are you gonna open your eyes for mama?" she continued in the same soft voice. The baby squirmed a bit more and scrunched his little face before slowly opening his eyes and just like in the delivery room when the doctor put him in her arms just a few hours ago, she was amazed to see Brian's hazel eyes staring back at her; she smiled as her tears dropped and her son wrapped his little fingers around the tip of hers. She turned to look at Nick.

"Nick... thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything. You've been holding my hand since that day Cragen took me into his office and didn't let go... and you held on even tighter these last two days when I needed you the most, you're pretty damn amazing Amaro!" he teared up.

"You're not so bad yourself!" he sniffled.

"Are you crying?"

"No, there's something in my eye." She looked down at the baby.

"Uncle Nick's crying!"

"Uncle Nick does not cry!" he smiled looking down at the baby. There was a short silence.

"Go home, get some sleep. You must be exhausted." She said as the baby began to fuss.

"Yeah, besides, I think little man's hungry so that's definitely my cue to leave! He said and got up from the chair beside her bed. "you did good!"

"Thanks partner."

"Do you need me to send the nurse in?"

"I think I can manage."

She'd taken a ton of breastfeeding classes, watched every video she could find, and read lots of books. Hell, she knew enough to write a book. She was definitely able to do this without help. Besides, she didn't want to deal with more awkward stares at her scars and was quite pleased with herself and relieved when she got the baby properly latched on the first try. She let out a deep breath as she adjusted to the discomfort and looked down at her son happily nursing without a care in the world. She ran her fingertips through his beautiful dark curls that peeked from under the little hat that covered his head and smiled.

"I have no idea what I'm doing!" she wiped her tears. "But I do know that you are the one thing that your Daddy and I were determined to do absolutely right and I think we got off to a pretty good start. I just wish... I just wish that he could see you, and hold you. He would have been so proud! He already loved you so much; but don't worry, love is the one thing you will never be short on, you got a great big family waiting to love you. Your uncle Nick, you already know him pretty well, your uncle Fin can seem scary but he's a softie. There's uncle Luke and Grandpa Don...but you'll meet them all soon. Right now, it's just you and me huh baby?...baby..." she laughed to herself. "You don't have a name. I wanted to give you your daddy's name but he thought..." she paused as if suddenly remembering something. "Aidan!" she thought of that last little note Brian had scribbled out. "Your daddy liked Aidan; and I think it fits you perfectly!" she said as a tear slid down her face.

Outside in the parking lot, Nick sat in his car, tears streaming his face, his body shaking from the sobs he was trying desperately to hold in. he loved her so much, it was killing him inside! He felt it from the moment her first met her, the first time she looked at him with those big, beautiful brown eyes he was lost in them and from that day all he ever wanted to do was love and protect her but it wasn't meant to be for them. She'd found her happiness with someone else and it was hard but he loved her enough to accept it because her happiness was the most important thing in the world to him. And so, he gladly accepted his place as her friend as long as it meant being in her life.

Tonight as he held her hand and watched her go through the agony of bringing her son into the world, every fiber of his entire being wished that he could have been helping her bring his son into the world and he felt like a horrible person for wishing it because Brian had been his friend and even now with Brian gone, he knew that he could never tell her how he feels because it wouldn't be right and because she would never be ready to hear it and because he had finally come to accept the fact that her heart would never be his but accepting it didn't make it painless. Still, he knew that it was time to move on, he knew the day of Brian's funeral that it was time. He would always love her but he had to move on with his life. With that thought in mind, he wiped his tears, started the engine and drove off.