Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended.
Beta'd by HollettLA.
This chapter immediately follows CH44, and CH46 will follow this one. However, in CH47 there will be a jump in time - a month.
HUGE thank you to those of you who have continued to read and review.
Love you guys! XOXOXO.
Enjoy!
"Riders on the Storm"
Chapter Forty-Five: Finding Nemo
Sonny POV
When I left my parents' bedroom, I looked at myself in the full-length mirror.
Tall, broad-shouldered, and handsome, I was pleased with what I saw, and I didn't have a hair out of place.
All I knew was that if I had to go to this prom, I was going to look my best, and the night was going to be perfect for Maggie.
We're going to dance—to all the slow songs—and then we'll party. I'll show my young wife a great and fun time, and it'll be a night she'll never forget.
Earlier, while I was at the Waldorf getting things ready for later, Maggie sent me a text.
My mother was having food brought over from La Bella Italia. The fucking family was coming over, and now it was this big thing, which knocked my romantic dinner for two off the list.
It was cool in that it gave us more time to get ready, but for whatever reason we were already running late.
Truth be told, I was looking forward to having a nice quiet meal before all that bullshit—the prom and the nightclub.
I wished we could eat and fast-forward to the memory-foam mattress at the Waldorf, the champagne, doing some kinky shit with my wife…you know, the fun stuff.
Chillin' in a gymnasium amongst a bunch of pimply-faced teenagers—who are also looking to get drunk and laid but can't hold their liquor—didn't sound like a good time to me. Especially since I knew teachers and students alike would be staring at me…the old dude with the fuckhot, young bride.
Okay, so it's not that bad.
Still, with how much the prom tickets cost and how much the tuition is to attend that damn school, I'd hoped they'd hold the dance at some fancy hotel or a hall.
But no...they're having it at the school.
"Hey…" I saw Damion's reflection in the mirror.
"What's up?" I turned to give him a fist-pound. "Youse just get here?"
He nodded, placing his hands into his pockets. "You look good."
"Thanks." I decided not to do what I have been, harass him about Amelia, since I had my own plan.
Curious, during my travels, I'd called Aro after I left Eclipse. When he'd called Luke, there was no answer, and Aro wasn't about to go calling around for him.
To my father and Aro, putting this shit to bed wasn't a priority, and I can understand that.
But I was involved.
Once that bitch called Maggie, I was dragged into this, and so if Damion doesn't want to finish it, I will.
"I saw Maggie…" He chuckled. "She looks…amazing." Damion scratched the back of his neck, eyes falling to the floor.
Knowing how dazzling and gorgeous my wife is, I didn't comment, although I was all the more excited to see her. My wife, mother, and sister are acting as though this is a wedding or some shit. I wasn't even allowed to see Maggie's dress.
It was cute.
"Why you all…" I gestured to him, "nervous?"
Dame shook his head. "I...don't know." He let out a large breath. "Maybe it's bringing Jordan around again…Mom talks too much, you know? So does Kylie and everybody else." His gaze fell away from me again. "I know what you're going to say, but...I haven't called Amelia."
"I wasn't going to bring her up at all," I defended.
"It's hard for me to even get away to meet you for lunch…When we can meet. If I sneak off, Jordan thinks I'm up to something, which I don't understand," he laughed. "But I don't mind either…I just wanna leave Amelia and my past with her behind me, that whole stint of time, actually." He paused, leaving his mouth open. "Sonny, it makes me cringe to think about that…The shit I did…to you, to you and Maggie, to Dad, to…" He chuckled without humor. "It might just be easier if I list those who I didn't fuck-over." My brother showed more remorse than I thought him capable of.
"No worries." I patted his shoulder. "I get it…I don't know if Jordan makes you better or helps to tone you down, but she levels you out." My brother is the best version of himself around her. Having her in his life has changed him, and I always wonder if he sees it. Damion will marry Jordan if she sticks around. I could see it already, as much as he says they're taking things slow.
Dame snorted. "That…was really nice of you to say, heartfelt even."
I punched his bicep. "Your Swedish Meatball makes you a better man."
He winced. "Don't fucking call her that, bro."
I cackled all the way out of my parents' bedroom and down the hall, while I knew he was following after me. "You coming out later?" I looked to him from over my shoulder.
"Later…? Where?" he asked, excitement in his eyes. "I-I don't know if Jordan will be cool with chillin' at Eclipse."
I stopped walking and turned to face him. "Because I bring my wife with me to look at naked women all the time?" My tone was laced with sarcasm.
"I dunno…Kylie said that Maggie likes it there."
"She does?" That made me smile wide, although I know Maggie doesn't like me being there. "She's so cute—"
"Could be bisexual." He nudged my elbow.
"No, she's not!" That upset me. "She likes the D!"
My brother laughed. "Does that stand for Damion?"
I showed him the back of my hand, but he knew I was fucking around, too. "Shut up before I titty-fuck your girlfriend—"
"Oh!" he shouted, 'cause what I'd said hit a nerve.
Then again, that was my intention.
"What?" I asked, taking a step toward him.
"You kid around, but if I said something like that—"
I chuckled. "You've said a lot worse than that about my wife." I walked around him, yet I knew we couldn't be at odds right now. I faced him once more. "I'm sorry for throwing that in your face."
He furrowed his brow. "No, you're not."
"Are you always sorry…?" I didn't wait for him to reply. "The sentiment's still the same. Right?" As I appraised my brother, he seemed so much smaller than he used to be. Like his balls had shriveled up and he was rocking a hernia, or I'd just gotten bigger—not my form but in other ways.
Damion looked to the floor yet his eyes came right back. He was going to keep eye contact with me if it killed him, it seemed. "What's up for tonight? Blowout at Midnight Sun?"
Was he seriously going to make it this easy?
"Twilight." Because I have better control over it—can control it—keep it at minimum capacity without my father knowing why. It'd be one thing if it was just Maggie and me, but Dad doesn't want Dame in any of the clubs unless he's there.
Dame scrunched his nose. "The lounge there is small, not very impressive."
"You're worried about impressing Jordan?"
"No…I mean, yes." He chuckled. "I don't know."
"Don't worry about it. Youse leave here, and we'll scoop youse up in the limo—champagne, the club. I think that's pretty fucking impressive already." I kept my voice down.
"Sonny!" Mom called me, currently walking toward us from down the hall.
I placed my finger to my lips. "I don't feel like babysitting Kylie."
Damion nodded, wouldn't say a word.
"What's up?" I turned to my mother.
She gasped. "You look so handsome!" Mom hugged me. "My boys…" And then I felt Damion squashed against my back. "I love you guys…my babies." She started crying.
"Geez, Mom…" Damion groaned.
I rubbed Mom's back but wondered why she was weepy. "My Santino." She palmed my cheeks. "You're such a good man…"
"Ha!" Dame shouted. "Criminal lord of the underground and notorious cokehead…"
"Damion!" Mom hollered, and our Hallmark moment was over.
"Thanks, bro." I refused to look at him.
"It kind of…just slipped?" he asked.
"Why—are—you—so rotten sometimes?" Mom swatted at Damion's bicep.
"Dad…?" he asked. "I get it from him?" Damion flashed her his Colgate smile, and he was talking about Dad, which pretty much melted my mother.
I left the hall to find my wife, but I heard Mom whisper, "This is a big night for Sonny," although I had no idea why. I kept my ears on them and slowed my steps, but Mom never elaborated.
She always makes the good even greater, so her throwing such a celebration wasn't a surprise to me.
"Hold up your tits, so I can close the dress!" Kylie scolded.
I stopped short in front my sister's bedroom, and that's when I saw Maggie.
She was a vision in white, this slightly off-white, strapless ball gown that had silver sequined trim. It was almost like a wedding dress, and the sight of her completely took my breath away.
Her hair was curled but pushed away from her face.
The diamond solitaire earrings shined in the light...
"Told you," Dame whispered and hit my back. All of which made my presence known.
Maggie beamed at me. "Hey…"
"Hey, you." I walked into the room. "You look…"
I've seen her naked more times than I could count and in various positions.
I've seen her wear many things.
I see my gorgeous wife every day.
Yet…I was speechless.
"You look stunning." I cleared my throat, reaching for her hand. "Beautiful."
"Ugh…here we go!" Kylie threw her hands up. "I'll be inside." My sister tried to bite me as she passed me—for whatever reason, but I didn't care. "Let him do it. It might be hot," she whispered from the door.
And Kylie can still make my wife blush.
Maggie was flustered. "I…I love you in a tuxedo, Santino." She ran her hands up my chest.
Her words were simple; however, they sounded like the sweetest poetry.
"Uh…" I chuckled, placing my hand under her jaw to hold that face. "What do you need me to do?"
"Oh…there's tiny buttons in the back." She nodded, pointing. "Kylie couldn't get them with her nails."
"Okay…turn around." I grasped her hand.
"I can just ask your mom." She stared up at me.
"What?" I didn't understand what the big deal was. "I'll do it."
Gently, I turned her around to stare at her shoulders, the soft, exposed skin of her back. The white dress and her beauty floored me. Her hair was perfect, and it smelled delicious...
"You look like an angel," I blurted but it felt foreign on my lips—seeing her that way, as something angelic.
It was true, though. No dirty thoughts had truly entered my mind.
I'd be content to just sit and stare at her—my love, my life…my wife.
"Stop breathing on me," she pleaded through a whine.
"What?" That broke me from my reverie. It also made me laugh. "I'm sorry." I winced, trailing my fingers down to those buttons.
"Whooo." Maggie blew out a breath and stepped away from me. "I'm gonna get Bella…" She whipped around to me, face blazing red.
"What's wrong?" I asked, as every time I've gotten close to Maggie today—which we've barely spent two minutes together—she's either wanted my mother or latched onto my sister. "Did I do or say something? If you heard Dame and me in the hall—"
"No!" she was fast to say. "I just…I promised…myself that we'd have some self-control? I'd make it to prom with my hair still perfect, dress not crumpled from being fucked on the floor of a limo—shit like that." Maggie covered her mouth. "You know what I mean."
"Oh…I do." I nodded, although I took some offense to that. I'm not a fucking animal. "Of course." But she was my wife. Good, bad, or indifferent, she can be truthful.
"I love you," she whispered, tears in her eyes all of a sudden. "I love you so much. You can crumple my dress any time. I didn't mean. I don't know what I mean…"
"You're so cute." I placed my lips to her forehead, letting them linger. "I promise not to mess up your dress. Okay? I can button it for you."
"But then you have to touch me."
"Yeah, so?" I smirked. "Mag, how many months we been married? You're acting like we're...on our third date or something." That's exactly how it felt, like we were strangers. Well, that's how she was treating me. "I hate to break it you, baby." I lifted her hand to kiss her engagement ring. "After the prom, after the club, and after the Waldorf…we're going back home."
She sniffled, had stopped crying before she even really started. "I know…wait, the club? Why?"
"To party," I said. "Drinks, music…"
"You're working?"
"No…but we do need to talk. We'll talk on our way to the school, but it's nothing bad," I promised.
She looked to ceiling, showing me her palms. "But…Santino, I don't wanna go to Midnight Sun."
"Not Midnight Sun. Twilight, the club I've been working out of lately. It's smaller, a little different. You've never been there, and you said you wanted to see it—"
"I thought we'd dance to a few songs—" her frown stayed in place "—take pictures for the yearbook, and then…it'd just be the two of us. Santino, please…no matter which...I don't wanna go to a club."
"But, why not?" I swayed her from side to side, hoping to make her smile. "It's my night off. We can let loose and have a great time. We can do—"
"Whatever I want?" she asked.
I sighed. "I was going to say 'anything.'"
Maggie pouted yet pursed her lips at the same time. "I was up so late last night...studying, and then this morning…I thought we'd be in bed by like…midnight."
I shook my head. "Sweetheart, you're young…you're beautiful." I pulled her into my arms. "You should take the opportunity to have fun now."
"You're parenting me again," she said in a dull monotone, but then her voice continued to get louder, "which is creepy, so stop it! I hate when you boss me around. If I don't wanna go to the club, then I don't wanna go, San-tin-o!" She poked my chest with her finger for every syllable my name had.
Utterly dumbfounded, I was saved by a rapt knock. "Can I come in?" Mom smiled at us, peeking around the door.
"She's all yours," I whispered, leaving the room, all while I wondered what happened to that love stuff.
Maggie still looked like an angel, but she acted more like a demon.
The farther away from the room I got, I found it increasingly funny.
The whole ordeal had me in hysterics.
"Hey…" Dad hit my shoulder.
"Hi." I kept going toward the couch, surprised to see him here.
"I don't get a hug?" he asked.
"What?" I looked around us. "For…? Did'ju make a good score? What?"
He sucked his teeth. "Hug your daddy, man." My father almost tackled me to the ground.
"Yo…" It was weird to say the least. "You drunk?" I held him back.
Dad smacked my cheek, being playful with a beaming smile on his face. "We got bored…maybe I'm a little tipsy, but when I found out what was so important—"
"The prom…?" I raised a brow.
Dad's face fell for a second. "Exactly."
"The fuck do you care?" I found it hilarious. "The prom..." I had to lower my voice; I didn't want Maggie to hear me goofing about it.
"I do care!" he chastised, waving a finger. "Don't ever think I don't." He hugged me again.
"What'd you drink? Absinthe?" I thought my father was trippin' balls right now.
"My baby boy…"
I stared to the ceiling, wondering if the world was playing a trick on me. "Yeah…I'm in a monkey suit. Big deal."
He let go of me to gasp and then he ran for Maggie. "You look so beautiful. You're glow—"
"Edward," Mom scolded. "Leave her alone!"
I shook my head, my eyes finding my brother. "What's that about…?" I just jerked a thumb to Dad.
Damion didn't say anything.
When his gaze flashed to mine, I swore I saw hate there. "You all right?" I asked.
He nodded, taking a peek at Jordan. She just sat there with Kylie and Peto, and none of them were really talking. Of course, Jordan never says a word to me ever, nor does she speak even if I'm just in the room. I don't know what her problem is. She's weird, and whenever I speak to her, she starts stuttering, blushing. But she makes Dame happy, and we're all a little weird.
Jordan fits right in with our odd cast of characters.
Maggie adores her for whatever reason, wants us to go on double dates, wants us to invite them over. My brother knows—our recently indifferent relationship aside—he's always welcome.
"Dude," I said to get Dame's attention.
"What?" He had an attitude.
I waved a hand, letting it go.
It wasn't worth it.
"Okay…let's get some pictures!" Mom had the camera.
That was my cue to stand by the fireplace and hold my wife's waist. "You good?" I asked her.
"I wanna get outta here already."
"Can you make up your mind?" I hedged through a fake smile. "I thought we were having dinner."
"You're mad."
"I'm not mad…" I was exasperated and held her tighter. "I love you." I kissed her hair. "We'll eat and—"
"Oh!" Maggie turned as soon as the flash blinded us. "We're already running late and I'm not hungry. Are you hungry?" She spoke so fast, confusing me even more.
"Um…" I twirled her in my arms, placing my lips to her neck. That made Maggie stop squirming—in one way—while it gave Mom a great photo-op. "We're done?"
Mom crinkled her brow. "With one picture?"
"No, take more," Dad said. "Look at Maggie..." He gestured to her. "How pretty..."
"Skip, please..." Maggie sounded whiny, and I love it when she calls my father "Skip". That's what he told her to call him, since she didn't take to calling him "Daddy", like Kylie and like he'd suggested.
Fucking weirdo.
"Can you stop making a fuss?" Mom scolded my father again.
"But, look at her." Dad chuckled.
Speaking of, I looked down to Maggie and her beet red face.
"Can we get the show on the road?" I asked. "I'll order more than a dozen from the school," I promised, just as I felt my phone vibrating in my pocket; I ignored it.
"Well…" Mom bit her lip. "You're not thinking of cutting out already, are you? I invited the Sullivans—"
"What?" Maggie asked. "Why—"
"I'm sorry." My mother mouthed, and she meant that shit, too. "I was taking the garbage out and I saw your mom…She knew what today was."
"Helluva surprise," I commented.
"She said she'd bring your sister," Mom kept her tone low.
"My sister?" Maggie held her stomach, like she might be sick. "I just—"
"We'll leave right now," I said, since I knew how nervous Maggie was about getting in touch with her little sister, Mary Jo, again. Her parents were one thing. They've told her on numerous occasions how they wanted to keep Mary Jo away from her, how she's a bad influence, and then my mother goes and invites these people over?
"Whoa…relax," Dad protested.
Maggie turned to look up to me, and with a slight nod to her head, I knew what she wanted.
"Love youse all, but we're out!" I saluted my family before grasping Maggie's hand and heading for the door.
"Sonny!" my mother shouted.
I opened the door, staring at her. "You had no right to do that without asking first."
"Watch your tone," Dad scolded.
I didn't even bother to acknowledge him.
"I thought she was scared…she seems scared, but I thought…I thought she might need her mom." My mother was telling the truth, being sincere.
"No…" Maggie said, peeking around me. "Not today. Not now. I'm sorry." She held her chest.
"Come here, you." Mom stole my wife to squeeze her.
"You're letting bugs in!" Dad made me close the door.
"Bella, you're amazing, and I love you," Maggie whispered.
"I love you, too, sweet girl." Mom fixed her hair. "Go have fun…I'll talk to your mom, tell her you guys…were going to be late." She flashed me an uneasy smile.
Once we were officially out the door, Maggie made a mad dash to the limo in her heels. Again, it had me chuckling behind her. She might drive me insane, but being married to her sure was fun—if nothing else.
"I'm so happy we're gone!" she let out a giggle. "The way they were looking at me…"
"You're beautiful." I closed the door after myself and told the driver, "Bishop Ford High School," before closing the glass partition. "I…honestly didn't think you'd get that upset…about seeing your family."
"Just…not today." She melted into my side.
"Wanna stop for pizza first?" There's a pizzeria across the street from the school, one I was most familiar with when I was a student. "Or…champagne? What would make you feel better?" I looked down to her.
She's my wife.
And before my mother brought up her parents, Maggie was nervous, and she's still anxious now. "I hate all those people at that fucking school…"
"What?" I smirked at my little devil, although she's got the world fooled.
"What's the point?" She sat up to stare at me. "It's a stupid dance, and—"
"It's your prom," I said. "That means something." I didn't want to touch her hair, but I did anyway, and Maggie didn't bitch about it.
"Someone's texting you." Maggie leaned away.
I sighed as I dug my phone out. It was Damion, saying that he'd meet us later at Twilight.
"Who's that?" she asked.
I let her read from the phone. "You can sleep all day tomorrow, but you have to have at least one dance at your prom." I couldn't be a dick and insist, no matter how much I wanted us at that club. "Then…we can do whatever you want. If that's…being in bed by midnight, that's cool."
"You have something to do…You'll leave as soon as I fall asleep."
"No." I kissed her palm. "No way."
I saw a hint of guilt in her eyes. "Do you…have something to do?"
"It's not important…I was going to tell you all about it, but if we're not going—"
"Tell me." She curled into my side again.
"You trust me?"
"Of course," she whispered.
"Good…because I had to do something dishonest earlier, but it's not really dishonest because I'm telling you."
She leaned away to unleash that curious gaze on me, like she didn't know what was coming next.
"Relax." I palmed her cheek, needing to just spit it out already. "We've spoken about how Amelia called your phone?"
"Did you ever find out, like, what the purpose was?" She grasped my hand.
I nodded. "Before I got dressed, when I was outside? I'd called her. I just decided to be upfront since Aro couldn't get ahold of her father. So, I called to say what's up…" I shrugged, and this was where I didn't know how to phrase my words properly.
"She wants you…She flirted with you?" Maggie asked.
"Yes, but I had this idea . . . a stupid fucking idea. I thought we'd all be at the club, and Amelia could see how happy Dame is with Jordan. Then...I'd tell her to stay away from my family, or—" I stopped when Maggie shook her head. "Look, only bad thing is that…to get her there, I had to make her believe she had a shot."
"A shot? What, with you?" She pinched my chest and that shit fucking hurt.
"Stop!" I put my hands out to block her.
"I don't want you talking to her!" She pulled my hair.
"Maggie, you don't understand—"
She pushed me. "I understand perfectly, but that still doesn't erase the fact that I don't want you talking to her, I don't want her looking at you, or even thinking about you!"
"I'm trying to be 100% honest with you. If you can't handle the truth—"
"You're my husband!" she shouted.
"Exactly…which means I'm yours, will be leaving with you." I hugged her to my side. "It's something I gotta handle before others get involved, before she pulls some wild stunt, which may or may not include hurting you!"
She fought her way out of the embrace. "Threatening her is going to make that happen? Why don't you just sleep with her? At least then she'll get what she wants." She wiped under her eyes.
I groaned and stiffened. "Listen—"
"No…Santino, I may be young. I may be short. I may be quiet sometimes, but that doesn't mean I'm stupid. All you're going to do is give her more ammo, while pointing Jordan out to her. Did you think of that?"
"You're worried about Jordan?" I snorted. "Nothing's going to happen to Jordan."
"You're placing a mark on Jordan's back," she cried.
Impressed, I stared at her. "Where'd you hear that expression?" I wondered which mafia-melodrama Kylie had her watching this week.
"You know that's what you're doing…" She shook her head.
"No," I disagreed. "I'll be ending it tonight. Get Amelia out of our lives for good. I'd never let something happen to Jordan—"
Maggie kept talking over me. "Even if Amelia doesn't obey your threat, she'll have a new target in mind…like a bait and switch."
"You know what? I honestly didn't think about it that way…but you're right. And, so what? Then it'd rightfully be my brother's problem." I bent low to meet her gaze. "Maggie, you're my wife, my responsibility, and even if it means doing some shady shit, I'm gonna do my best to take care of you and protect you."
"But that's so wrong." My beauty, her makeup was ruined.
"Nothing's going to happen to Jordan. Fuck." I pulled her in to hug her tight. "Maggie, my love…you like being able to go shopping, to the tanning salon, and to my parents' house, right?"
"Stop trying to scare me."
"I'm not trying to do anything but help you understand. Freedom isn't free, and you knew who I was when you married me—"
"This is America." She sounded so young.
"This is Brooklyn," I reminded her. "And you need to know that…the only way someone can hurt me? Is by hurting you. So, I need you to be easy, and as my wife…respect the decisions I make to help keep us safe."
"But—"
"No." I touched her lips with my knuckle. "This time, I need you to agree." My mouth went to her ear to whisper, "I know you hate Amelia, but do you hate her enough to want her gone? To disappear? 'Cause you're not giving me many options here." My wife didn't know how serious I was, but I loved her more than life itself, and I'd do anything to protect her.
Even if that meant icing Amelia Drasso, which would throw us right into a war with New Jersey . . .
If Luke found out about it, anyway.
She quietly sobbed into her hands before looking at me. "Aro couldn't-couldn't call her father." We were now parked in front of the school. "What if he tries and gets ahold of him tomorrow?"
I shrugged a shoulder.
To be honest, I didn't know what my best course of action was anymore. But just like my father said earlier, Amelia isn't stupid.
If I explained her fate—if she stayed on this vengeful road—she will back off.
At the end of the day, she's a chick, I could play her like a fiddle…turn on the charm, get her alone and put the fear of God into her.
It's a sound fucking plan, and all of that shit with my brother . . .
My pressuring Dame was for nothing, because there's no way she feared Damion.
She'd seen him at his worst, his scariest, and she came out on the other side, but my brother could never—truly—hurt Amelia. It wouldn't be because he loved her at one point or feared her father. Most likely, it had to do with what was between her legs.
And I wouldn't think twice.
Not with this, not with what I'd stand to lose if that bitch threw out a wild card.
Maggie also needed understand how she could get played as well. Amelia has friends. I'm usually busy, and any one could easily meet up with Maggie at the supermarket, or the salon, or…anywhere.
How, in the long run, Maggie might wish she could go back and give me her blessing—tell me to take Amelia out.
"Are you upset that I'll actually be speaking to Amelia? Like jealous? Or are you scared?" I asked. "Be honest with me."
"A little bit of all three? We're just…Santino, everything is finally coming together." She let out a short wail that broke my heart. "Why is this happening? Why are you involved?"
"She's not going to stop," I whispered. "She called you…stopped at the club, she's asking my friends about me—harassing them about my whereabouts? She's done more than enough. Maybe you can't see it. Maybe you don't think it's a big deal, but it will be…in the long run." I gently pecked her lips; they were salty.
"How—how can you be so cold? Talking about this stuff…I just…If I were you, you'd never let me go talk to some guy for your sake."
I grabbed a napkin from the small bar to clean her face. "You forget that you have…You talked Dame down from a ledge, the night he pulled the gun on me? That was for me, too. You knew that, made sure I didn't lose my temper and do something I'd regret."
"That's different…Damion…He's Damion. I don't know. He was hurting, more than I'd ever seen someone hurt in my life, so all that pain—he wanted to share it with you?" She shook her head. "You know he used to be creepy—"
"Baby, he's still the same person…only now…his interests have changed. He has a shiny new toy in Jordan." I never know what to believe when it comes to my brother. "Do you understand that?"
"You can see that he loves her," she said.
I nodded. "I never said he didn't. If he feels it and shows it, I believe he believes he's in love." I let out a dry laugh. "Look at what he did when we first got together? All that, it was because I had you, which meant you were off-limits to him. No matter what I did or said, he wouldn't relent. He filled your head with garbage, started all this trouble and tried to tear us apart. We didn't talk for a long while, and then he meets Jordan. You and me are already married…and voilà…he backed off." I threw my hands in the air.
"But you're better than that…than the way you're being now." She dabbed under her nose with the tissue, and I helped her out a bit there.
The sight of her in tears had more torn up than anything.
"Maybe I do seem cold, when talking about this stuff, but I don't know what other way to be. This…making a move before anyone else can, baby, it's all I know." I grabbed her hand. "And I wish people weren't evil. I wish…others would back off. But, let's face it, people only put themselves first. They look out for their best interests and wants, so me protecting you, doesn't make me any worse than them. And if Damion gave a fuck? He would have handled it already."
I still don't know why I can't…
All I know is that, in the near future, I need to sit and think about my brother.
Really think...weigh the pros and cons, sick of all this bullshit already.
I have to truly forgive him for the past, or write him out of my life.
For the past year, he's been nothing but trouble, and our relationship was nothing like it used to be.
Maggie nodded, swallowing her remaining tears. "Then I'll be with you…I'll be there when you talk to her."
"No, I…" I groaned. "I don't want you hearing what I might say, or how I might say it. You can't see me that way. I don't—"
"I love you…"
"I know that." I wasn't going to budge on this. "I love you, too."
"You talk about honesty and…not shielding me from the truth to get me accustomed to this…lifestyle." She stopped to stare at me, and I knew that look.
"You knew exactly who I was, Maggie. I told you. I was honest while I hoped and prayed you'd look past it." I had to turn my face away from her. "You wanna see your Santino turn into a monster? Sure, stay with me…confront Amelia with me." I gave in, turning back to her.
"You could never be a monster," she whispered. "I love you despite the decisions you make." She palmed my cheeks, making me look at her. "I love you so much, that no matter what...like if my brain says something is stupid…if my heart wants it? Even if everything else tells me to run away, I stay and do what my heart tells me…because I love you, because I wanna make you happy." Maggie lightly kissed my lips, resting them there for a second. "You didn't scare me away back in February…You're not scaring me away now."
"Okay." I cleared my throat, didn't know what to say, but her words filled that emptiness I previously had in my gut…when I doubted…everything for a minute there. "Thank you."
"God…" She stared up. "This is so not how I wanted this night to go."
Since the driver is getting paid for the night, I slouched down and gathered Maggie into my arms. "I'm sorry…Maybe I've been hasty in my decision making…I'm just scared, and I know tonight's your night, but actually dealing with that shit was going to take five minutes at best, while you danced and drank yourself silly. I knew I had to tell you; I also knew it wouldn't affect your special…night. Everything is perfectly planned…like when we first stayed there? I got the same suite."
That made her crack a grin. "And your dad came to get me…" She palmed her face.
"Yeah." I chuckled. "To be fair, we disappeared for nearly ten days."
"But it was the best ten days…ever."
I agreed. "Abso-fucking-lutely."
"How was everything more confusing and yet simpler back then?" she asked.
"We were just having a good time?" I smirked. "You didn't know me…You never asked me anything." I let out another laugh. "Why? Why didn't you—"
"I was afraid." She wrapped her arms around my middle again. "I just enjoyed you. I loved looking at you…naked."
"Oh." That surprised me. "Really?"
"I still do…enjoy the view."
"Ditto." I planted a smooch in her hair.
"I'd never seen a naked guy before, but…you know. You're beautiful, and you're mysterious and dreamy," she sighed, which made me smile wide—a genuine toothy grin. "You have a huge heart, and you're kind and sweet. And every time you'd touch me…Still, every time you touch me, which is why I was being weird before…when I smell you, feel you close…" She was giving me a hard-on without touching me, and that's the beauty of marrying a writer of smutty fanfiction. "I forget my name, and I have to have you inside me…" I felt her nose on my neck. "I have to have your body on top of mine…because I need you. It's not about want…I physically ache for you."
"Me, too." I swallowed. "I try to show you…since I don't have the gift of words like you do."
"I feel it," she whispered, ghosting her lips up to my ear.
Out of breath, I tilted my head away from her. "We going to-to this prom or what?"
Her cheeks were pink, flushed again when she fell back to wave at her face. Maybe my predicament wasn't as noticeable, but my cock was so fucking stiff…and I was frustrated because of all the things I couldn't change.
Most of all, I hated that I made her cry, no matter what point I was trying to make. Bringing that shit up was stupid, trying to handle it tonight—which is her night—was dumb. I shouldn't have even made that plan. It just weighs on my mind and makes me sick to my stomach—the thought of someone trying to ruin what we have.
"Look, you're my little sexpot, all right? I love to be rollin' around the sheets with you, too, and—" I lost my train of thought when she stared at me wide-eyed. "I can be a dick, you know that I can. I'm sorry I ruined your night, but I promise…fucking graduation, I won't say a word. I'll leave my phone at home, and we'll do whatever you want." I nodded. "I know you're going to forgive me…and I don't know how many more times you will forgive me, but I promise to try harder…not to be a dick."
"Thank you," she giggled. "But this is just a stupid school dance."
"Right," I agreed. "Maggie, but you're eighteen—"
"I know how old I am." Anything that has to do with her age hits a sore spot; the claws were suddenly out. "What I don't know is—"
"Why I bring it up?" I hedged. "It's because…I've been eighteen. I've been twenty-one and twenty-five. I've been to my prom." I pointed to myself. "I'd give you the world if I could—"
"I don't want the world. I just want you." She placed her hand on my thigh.
My wife was acting like a Sour Patch Kid.
First sour and then sweet.
"Did you drink?" I sniffed her immediate area just to see, but I didn't smell any booze. "Anyway, bottom line, there are going to be things in your life you won't experience because…you settled down young. Let me dance with you—one, two songs. We'll have some nasty punch—"
"You'll be a jerk to everyone but me?"
"If…that'll make you happy." I was confused.
"You're hotter when you're mean, obnoxious, like the way you act when you're working."
"Oh." I nodded, but I'd never tell her that she's impossibly sexier when she's angry. "You know…we also have to start planning a wedding, a real one."
"Maybe next year, not this summer."
"Whenever you want." I was going to appease her until she left the fucking car.
"You don't care? Why I wanna wait?" she asked, a wicked glint in her eyes.
"No…we're already married. I'd love to do it again and again, though." I smiled, going for those lips.
But while I thought my words—what I said—would score me points, she frowned.
/=/=/=/=/
Maggie's prom didn't have a theme like mine did back in the day.
Unless a bunch of vapid, teenage girls staring with hatred in their eyes is considered a theme. The same shit happened…all those days ago, but I didn't want to compare, although I felt all eyes on me.
Once I had Maggie in my arms, and under that disco ball, she rested her head against my chest—finally felt relaxed in my arms.
And I was happy . . .
I didn't know how long we'd stay, but at least I could say I'd gone to her prom—I fulfilled my end of the bargain. "You're beautiful," I whispered.
"Can we…um," she giggled staring up at me.
"What?" I asked.
"Oh!" Sister Mary-whoever came over to break us apart.
Shocked and surprised by the movement, of a nun flying at me with a ruler in her hand, I held onto Maggie tighter. "Beat it, Sister."
"Leave room for the Holy Ghost," she insisted.
I showed her my wedding band. "He can take a powder—this is my wife."
The nun ran back to her flock, and Maggie continued to giggle in my arms. "You're the best."
"I'm doin' good…at being a jerk?" My hands snuck down to palm her ass.
"Most definitely. Now, I can't wait 'til graduation."
I smiled, counting my blessings as we swayed from side to side; we hardly moved our feet at all.
When the song ended, I didn't take my eyes off her, wanting to follow her lead. "We can go now." She made for the exit.
"Hold up!" I pulled her back.
Maggie looked happy, content, but something was still off. "Tonight was supposed to be special for you."
"It is," I said.
"No." She rolled her eyes. "I thought—" She paused, and, regardless of the fast-paced tune playing, I placed her arms around my neck. "Since this morning, I had this perfect fantasy…It played on a constant loop in my head all day."
"Tell me." I could still make it come true, I thought.
"We were going to take pictures…get here, but we'd be so overcome by passion, we couldn't stay. We'd run to the limo—"
I turned her chin, so she'd look at me. "And…?"
"We'd kiss and kiss until our lips hurt." She grinned.
"I still don't see a problem with that," I laughed.
"Then—when we got to the hotel—you'd slow us down." She wove her fingers into my hair. "You'd…pull out all the stops and be as romantic as you always are, sweet…You'd pour me a glass of champagne…"
I placed a kiss on her cheek. "And?"
Maggie stopped dancing to stare up at me. "I wouldn't drink it," she whispered. "But…you'd insist." She tore her eyes away. "But then you'd realize why I couldn't drink…which would…take the pressure off me actually having to say the words—"
"What?" My heart skidded to a stop and then sped up, like I'd run a marathon. "You…what?" I pulled away, but my eyes locked to hers. "How…?" I knew exactly what she was hinting at. "W-what...?"
Maggie actually laughed. "I wish…you could see your face right now. But, wow." She blew out a breath. "I knew it'd be okay to tell you. I knew you'd be excited. It'd be a surprise—"
"Yeah…" I nodded, my mind kind of blank for the moment. "You're on birth control."
She shook her head. "No…you were so concerned about it, because you knew what was best for me." Maggie did a piss-poor imitation of my voice. "I didn't do it for your family, or necessarily for you…although I hope you're happy—"
"Ecstatic but concerned," I admitted, refusing to cry at the fucking prom. "Whoa…can we leave?" I asked, out of breath again.
"Yes." Maggie was giddy.
While we trailed toward the exit, I started laughing. "You told my mother and then she told everyone but me?" Everyone's odd behavior made perfect sense now.
"Pretty much." She nodded. "I love Bella, but…It was bad enough Kylie knew."
"When did you find out?" I wondered how long she'd kept it from me.
"That's another thing." She stopped from getting into the limo.
"Get in." My tone demanded, and she followed through. "What the fuck?" I asked, pulling her face toward me. "Fucking kiss me." I tried my best not to be overzealous while Maggie was trying to be tentative. "Talk to me—the Waldorf!" I shouted to the driver.
"My God, Santino…calm down. You want some champagne…?" She gestured to the bar.
"No…I want you to start talking—"
"You wanna know everything, but tell me you're really happy first?" She was nervous again.
"Are you kidding me?" I wiped the corners of my eyes. "Yes...I'm very, very fucking happy. Once again...I'm-I'm speechless." I was in shock, to be honest. "But please start talking."
She palmed her stomach. "It's early…like Baked-in-Bermuda early."
I placed my hand on top of hers. "Okay, but we were in Bermuda...almost two months ago. It's not that early."
"I haven't been to a doctor…I just found out yesterday, and if it weren't for Kylie, I might not know today." She chuckled without humor.
"Explain that, too, please." My words were calm, which totally betrayed the feelings I had going on inside of me. I held Maggie in my arms, and I stiffened, trying to hold back a scream, one of joy, lunacy or whatever.
"I thought I might be, but I was…embarrassed to buy the test? They're like condoms and duct tape, just horribly awkward for the cashier and you…"
Hearing her say that snapped me back to the present. "Yeah, but that's when you tell your husband to get his ass to Rite-Aid, not his sister," I barked out a laugh, still on cloud nine.
But then Maggie turned to face me, wearing this seriously grim expression. "Santino—" she gripped my hands tightly "—I-I didn't want you to get all happy when…I might not have been pregnant, and it's still early, so I'm still scared, and you slept at Eclipse last night..." She trailed off in a whisper.
"I was working late," I explained. "Then I had shit to handle this morning, and I had all these plans for tonight to settle, which meant I needed to be in Manhattan. Catching a few hours sleep there made sense." I kissed her palm. "Maggie, I would have come straight home. I would have rushed home." It broke my heart—even in this glorious moment—that she'd gone through it alone. "You took the test by yourself—"
"I didn't," she giggled. "I didn't do any of it by myself. Kylie and Gio came over last night…she picked up a test, and they were my moral support, so I was okay…until I woke up this morning." Her eyes widened. "I just felt so lonely—"
"Again...why didn't you call me?" I truly couldn't believe how fast I could feel like dog shit again. "I would'a dropped everything—would have came right home."
"I wanted your mom," she said so low. "I'm sorry."
"That's okay…but if you wanted me…I would have been there, too." I groaned, squeezing her to me. "Maggie, it could be anything. You know that. Whenever you need or want me home, all you have to do is call."
"I hate bothering you—"
"Bullshit." I chuckled. "Something's up, and I don't care what it is, I want you to call me."
She nodded, staring down at our hands. "I'm sorry...Bella was awesome, though. She got to our house quick, but I think Kylie couldn't keep a secret."
"My mother was probably waiting like a rabid dog for you to call her," I laughed. "If she knew beforehand."
"She picked up her cell even faster. The first ring!"
"I bet…but now everyone knows?" I asked.
"I was...emotional this morning, but your mom was all, 'Let's go get your corsage and pick up your dress!' Like a maniac…because tonight had to be special, and then Kylie met up with us, which turned the morning into a shopping spree. It took my mind off it just a little. All day today, though. I've either been very happy or close to tears. I'm...I go from being crazy happy to scared. Bella says that's normal, but..." she sighed.
I nodded her along, rubbing her back now. "So, your mother doesn't know?"
Maggie smiled. "I think that's why your mother called my mom…but I freaked." Her eyes found me again. "I couldn't tell her, or let her be around all the people who know, when you didn't even know yet . . . Just like Kylie told your mom, Gio told his father!" She grimaced. "All of which created this domino effect…but I think Aro held off from telling your father until you left the club. And then your father rushed home…He got there before you, you know?"
"What?" I laughed. "No, he wasn't." I put the glass partition down. "You mind if we stop back there?"
She shrugged. "Now that you know…the pressure's off."
"Dude, go back to my father's!" I shouted out, closing that window. "Finish telling me." I still wanted to know everything.
"Your dad came home shouting about it…while Kylie was doing my makeup, and then your mom hit him and made him hide downstairs until he could shut up about it…But every time he sees me, he looks at me like I'm about to give birth."
I started cracking up.
"Then you got there…and I waved while you ran to take a shower and get dressed…What else?" She tapped her chin, which is just an adorable Maggie trait. "Jordan knew before Damion; meanwhile, she asked about my birth plan…which…I ignored her." Maggie waved a hand. "Damion told me about some clinic near NYU, how my life didn't have to be over, talking about abortion, which got me upset…and then I ran to put my dress on, and you know the rest. And you have the worst timing in the world to drop your bombs on me. And your family only keeps secrets if it's illegal . . . Santino, I'm exhausted. Between last night, hardly getting any sleep, and then this morning...and getting ready for the prom, everyone knowing and then being afraid them telling you before I could...I'm really tired, like, mentally and physically." Her head came to rest on my shoulder.
"I'm…sorry. That sounds stressful. I'm exhausted just hearing all about it." I wore a smile and twirled my finger around a lock of her hair. "Fuck the hotel. We'll just go home, I'll run you a bath, and you can relax."
"Okay," she actually agreed to that, but not before we stopped at my parents' house.
"I cannot believe those motherfuckers kept that from me!"
"I asked them to!" she shouted. "They were…well, they didn't respect all my wishes, but they didn't put a sign on the lawn either...That one…getting to tell you? You'd wanna hear it from someone else?"
"No one else," I whispered. "But…I do wish you'd told me last night, before you even took the test. This is a good thing—a great-fucking-thing. I can't imagine why I wouldn't be the first person you shared it with. I share the bad with you. I try to be as honest as I can—"
"It got out of hand," she admitted. "I didn't want to get your hopes up, and I only planned on your mother knowing…and Kylie."
"And Gio, which means they all know over there, and if Aro knows that means he told my uncle." I snorted. "But I don't give a fuck who knows, you know? Are you happy? Are you okay?" I appraised her, a million different thoughts and worries running through my mind.
"I'm fine—nervous yet excited. I'm more tired than usual, and I was eating like a hog. That's why I thought it was PMS, with me gobbling the comfort foods. I was crying my eyes out because Nemo's mom and siblings died?"
I furrowed my brow. "He lives in the neighborhood? That pizzeria on Fifth?"
"No, the fish…in Finding Nemo?"
I didn't have a reply, so I just smiled.
"Kylie pieced it together, but not as PMS. She shouted, 'Dude, you're fucking pregnant!' But before that, I didn't think anything," she giggled. "I was actually disappointed. My period, which I was supposed to start getting last month again, never came. And I thought it was coming this month, that all my efforts were for nothing because I was PMSing," she sighed as we'd pulled up to my parents' house.
"You don't mind?" I jerked my thumb out the window, as I had this overwhelming need to speak to my father, to be around my family, because I found myself emotional, too.
"Not at all. Santino, I was…fine. I just needed to tell you. I am fine with this. I wanted this. I wanted this so much; I prayed every night…to God, the moon," she started crying. "I even wished on a star."
"Please…" My own eyes pricked with tears. "You're wonderful, and I love you, and I hope our baby looks like you." I crashed my lips to hers to cry into her mouth. "This is the greatest gift, the best thing...I love you." Once more, words failed me, but I was so happy.
"I knew you wouldn't be mad." She wiped my tears away.
"Fuck, no." I kissed her gently. "I'm so far from mad." I opened the car door. "Mad…" I spat, like my wife was crazy. "Come on." I helped her out.
We smiled and laughed all the way up the walk, only for my father to tear the door open before we got there.
"You know," he said.
I beamed. "I do."
"You-fucking-know!" He jumped into the air and lunged at me. "You're going to be a father, and I hope you have ten little fuckers just like you!" Dad started placing kisses on my cheeks, while I heard Maggie giggling close by.
I laughed as if someone was tickling me because I couldn't remember a time where I was happier. "All right…All right!" We were on the grass, and while I was in the best mood, this bordered on gay…
"Get off him!" Mom kicked Dad in the ass. "Come here!" When she widened her arms, she let the highest-pitched screech I ever fucking heard. It hurt my ears. "It was so hard not to tell you!"
I looked back at Maggie and stole her hand. "I…" I didn't know what to say to my parents, either.
They already knew, and yet I had to come back here.
Mom wiped her eyes—'cause she was crying, again, and said, "Get in the house…before we don't have to tell the Sullivans."
Dad winced, taking a wary glance up the block. "You're a little thing…big sweaters, you know? It'll buy you months," he told my wife and then placed his arm around her. "Did Bella ever tell you? She had all sections…all our children had big heads…" He rambled on and on, whisking Maggie into the house.
"Santino!" she called for me.
"I'm here," I promised, shutting the outside world away—closing the door.
Then I turned just in time to see Kylie. "Mom…don't show her that."
We were all in the foyer, my mother slightly pulling her pants down to show Maggie her scar. "Please," I pleaded.
"Dad said she wanted to see it." She shrugged.
"No, she didn't." I knew that wasn't true.
If Mom got into telling her own pregnancy stories…how they were the best days of her life, and yet nightmarish...
I didn't want to think about what would happen. Maggie would get scared, more so than she already is, and I found myself acting a little superstitious.
"You okay?" I asked Maggie.
She nodded. "I'm fine," she whispered. "You forget. I'm around them more than you these days." She hopped up to try and kiss me, but I helped her out by slouching. "I didn't say that to make you feel bad. I'm just used to...the crazy," she laughed.
"Whatever way…it's okay." I didn't care about that. "They are crazy…but no family could love you more." That was suddenly abundantly clear.
"I know," she said. "This baby's gonna be lucky."
"Fuck, yeah." I squashed her to me again. "Everything's gonna be great. You'll see, so don't be nervous about anything." I'd be nervous for the both of us.
"Come inside!" Dad shouted.
"We're inside," I laughed, although we were still by the front door. "No matter what, we'll be okay…so we can be happy. I want us to be happy."
She blew out a shaky breath. "Okay…and we'll be okay if…?" I knew what she was asking.
"Of course," I swore on my life; I'd make sure everything worked out. "We'll make a doctor's appointment right away. I'll make sure they see you first thing Monday, and I'll…go to lunch with your father this week—"
"No…this," she held her stomach, "I don't want to hide behind this. As long as you know, and we're okay, I don't care about them." She wrapped her arms around me.
"Good." I found what she said to be a great thing. "Then…I'll make dinner and we'll invite everyone over? Like last time?"
"Not like last time," she giggled.
"Youse gonna come and eat or what?" Dad shouted.
We joined my family at the table. They'd already started eating, but Dad raised a toast to us, and then Kylie got emotional. All of which made Dad end his speech by explaining to Kylie that pregnancy was as contagious as the chicken pox…
He told her to stay away from Maggie.
"You're so ignorant sometimes, but…God, I love you." Mom landed a loud smooch right on his lips, and I whistled at that.
It was cute.
The room felt emptier than usual, since there were quite a few faces missing from the crowd—my grandfather, my uncle, my aunt, and all my cousins; even fucking Aro was missing—yet it didn't matter.
I was on top of the world; however, I kept glancing over to my brother who hadn't uttered a word to me. And it fucking irked me, that he couldn't be happy for me, just this once. It was disappointing, and I kept burying my nose in Maggie's hair. She ate, while I couldn't eat a bite, because I kept wondering what horrific circumstance would rip this from me—this happiness I felt.
When dinner was through, I hardly let my mother lift a finger. I was antsy, couldn't sit still, but I kept a smile on my face.
"You'll be fine." Dad took a pastry box out of the fridge. "You think I knew what I was doing? You were a week old, and I was taking pictures of you while you were in tracksuits. I'd put the guinea gold around your neck, and you'd look like a little wise guy with a cigarette hanging from your mouth…Granted, it wasn't lit, but you get it." He rolled his eyes.
"Thanks," I said, closing the dishwasher.
"You were fun as a kid…you always talked back." He winked. "And I gave you wine this one time…and you threw up all in the hallway of the old house. Do you remember that?"
I nodded, since I remembered clear as day. It was actually harder to forget.
"Look, you're going to stress over everything—every-little-thing, but it doesn't matter," he laughed.
"What?" I wanted him to elaborate.
"Like…when you were born, Mom worried about Huggies vs. Pampers, but by the time Kylie was born, baby girl rocked the Walmart brand. And things are going to happen that are outta your control. Most times? You'll be winging it. And if you can remember all the way back…then you probably remember helping Mom with your sister."
"I do." I nodded. "I had to…so she had…help some nights."
The things I remember would probably shock my parents. I'd never tell them. Especially since I don't resent them for any of it.
My whole life I helped take care of someone. I used to talk a hyper Damion down when he was on one of his Dad kicks. Our father wasn't around, and my brother had all these questions, because he knew we had a dad, but…Dad wasn't around. He was locked up, and no one told us anything, except that he was sick.
Our mother was very sad, and always tired, during that time. I'd make sure Dame had clean clothes, that we got to the bus on time, that he had his PB&J because he wouldn't eat anything else…
Truth be told...I had a lot of ill feelings toward my father when he came home. I didn't understand anything, blinded by being kept in the dark, but looking back with all the knowledge I have now...
I can't imagine what my mother must have been going through; however, she could have maybe held it together better. I don't know. Regardless of where Dad was, she still had two kids to look after.
And my mother shut down.
She'd do what she could, and I knew that. Even back then, I knew that, so I did whatever I had to help her.
When Kylie was born...Once again, I'd do whatever I could to help Mom, which included caring for Dame as well.
Dad was at his height during that time.
I know that now, but when you're a little kid, and you see your mother running ragged after three children…and every single time your father is home, you'd see your parents fighting.
They used to argue over the same issues. I'd always agree with Mom since I constantly wondered why work was more important than us, and then there were nights when he didn't come home at all.
As the oldest you step up. Sacrifices are made, and while—I was still a kid, so being a brat was inevitable—I tried not to whine too much.
And I grew up a lot faster than any of my friends.
"Most nights." He looked into my eyes. "I wasn't perfect. I missed a lot, but you should learn from my mistakes…if you can't forgive them." He shrugged. "Ed was a horrible father." He shook his head. "My mother was gone, and I was sent to live with Nanny…I never had a father. But your mother wouldn't let me get away with…anything like that, like being too-too horrible." He chuckled. "I don't know what I'm trying to say here . . . I've loved you, your brother, and Kylie since the minutes youse were born. I wanted to be better for you guys…" He turned away from me.
"Dad…" I reached for his shoulder, and he leaned back into my hand. "I…have no problems with the way I was raised. I'm not damaged. I was a loudmouth, whiny kid, who hated when you'd ride me. Fuck, you were always on my ass." I chuckled. "You're still riding my tail, but I don't really hate you for it…I know you want what's best for me and that's the reason why…you do what you do. You want us all happy and safe, and…secure, and the three of us are…different, so you try to give each of us what we need. All of which I can only hope to provide my child."
"That was beautiful…"
I turned to see Mom crying just outside the kitchen. "That's the truth," I mumbled.
Dad nodded. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." But I wasn't truly troubled about the parenting aspect of having a baby. I wanted to scoop Maggie up into my arms and hide her in some remote corner of the earth. Just so nothing could ever bother us.
"You'll learn to deal as things come your way," Dad said. "Don't worry about the future that's far from right now. Focus on getting through the pregnancy, and everything that comes with that. 'Cause if you can't make it through the preliminaries, you're fucked!"
I smiled but stopped just as fast when Dame entered, yet Dad kept talking.
"It seems…more real than when you thought Katie was..." Dad winced.
"You're right," I admitted. "With Katie, I was in the room waiting for her push, and…" It didn't seem as real as this, as exciting; meanwhile, my father was correct. Maggie and I have a long way to go. "Maybe it was because…I don't know." It was definitely hard to explain.
Dad grinned. "I get it. Can't explain it, but I get it. It's probably because I see Maggie every day…and she's gonna be a momma..."
"What's up?" Dame sighed, grabbing a cookie from the pastry box.
He stood right next to me, and I had all these questions for him, but I didn't say anything. I bit my tongue, hoping he'll come around when he's ready, and that's all I can really hope for when it comes to Dame.
"You'll be a good father," Dame whispered.
"You think I ruined her life." It wasn't a question.
"Ruined?" Dad asked.
Dame looked up to the ceiling. "Marriage is one thing, but now you and Maggie will be tied together forever. You'll have her—"
"That's the problem?" I snorted. "Aren't we past this?" Regardless of how much I wanted to ring his neck, just for being a prick, I kept my voice down.
"She'll have you, too. You know? You're going to have your own family…" Damion was getting stuck, choking on his words.
Dad pinched his cheek. "Don't worry. You'll always be Sonny's firstborn..." His tone was humorous, yet I could tell Dad was uncomfortable—upset over something. "But last I checked you were my son."
Damion didn't reply. He just stuffed another cookie into his full mouth.
I laughed. "Remember when Kylie was born, and Dame was so jealous, he'd climb into the crib with her—pretend to be a baby?" I looked to Dad.
"Oh!" he shouted. "I don't know if you remember, but I remember having a talk—a very weird…conversation about why Kylie could breast-feed and Damion couldn't."
I winced. "Yeah…that was…" I was embarrassed for my brother, but it was only us. "Relax." I squeezed his shoulder.
"Fucking…naked wrestling!" Dad hollered.
"Naked wrestling!" I slapped my hand to his while we both cracked up.
"It's…still my favorite sport," Dame said.
"Fuck…us, too." I shook my head.
Dad placed his arm around Dame. "You were a weird kid, man, but the cutest little fucking thing…" He kissed Damion's cheek.
Damion wiped at his face, his expression kind of stoic. "Yeah, well…We're gonna take off. I guess your plans for later are canceled?"
I nodded. "That's the furthest thing from my mind." But it really wasn't.
"You guys had plans?" Dad asked.
"Drinks," I sighed. "That's it. I wanted to party with Maggie, but…"
"Oh, your partying days are over!" Dad punched my shoulder.
"Your partying days didn't stop when you had kids." Dame stared at him.
"But…Sonny's going to be better than me. He'll learn from my mistakes," he told him but locked eyes with me. "Since I know, I've already explained that…he won't want to miss a thing. From the baby's first smile, to the first steps, to…fucking Kindergarten—all of that is more important than the biggest, greatest party ever."
"I've done enough…partying." That was the fucking truth. "I won't miss anything."
"Eh…you might, but don't beat yourself up over it." Dad winked. "Like I said, no matter what you do, you're going to make mistakes. You just have to take them as they are, learn from them, and when you have your second and third kid…you'll already know. All that matters is if your child is happy."
Damion kept looking from Dad to me. "You never know, though…With your track record, your kid might be born with slanted eyes like the Korean down the block." He guffawed. "Christ…Imagine?"
"'The fuck's the matter with you?" Dad slapped the back of his head.
"It was a joke!" Dame exclaimed, rubbing his hair down.
I knew my brother was teasing, but that was hitting below the belt, along with everything else he's done . . .
"Can I talk to you outside a second?" I asked, antsy and angry, frustrated, because I just wanted to shake him and ask him what his deal truly was.
"No," Dad said. "Dame, go say goodbye to Mom and—"
"Two minutes." I cut him off, staring at my brother.
Dame scoffed. "What? You wanna hit me?" He stepped closer to me. "Because of a stupid joke? Why's everyone in this family so petty? Sonny, you wanna hit me? Go—" His eyes had fallen away from me when I bopped him in his jaw. "Fuck—" But I wasn't done, and I got him in the eye before Dad managed to pull me back.
"Jesus…" My father squeezed my biceps. "Can't you see? He's scared...probably scared of losing you," he whispered, and my gaze fell to Dame, and then I kicked his foot.
"Get up," I said.
"You…knocked him good." Dad's voice was frantic as he kneeled next to Dame. "Wake up…" He slapped his cheek.
"Fuck!" Dame held his head.
Dad let out a breath while my chest was still heaving. "Thank God…get up," he said.
"You probably gave me a concussion!" Dame kicked at my legs, but I stepped back.
Dad yanked Dame to his feet. "Stop whining."
"No, he thinks he can just—"
"I'll fucking do it again," I promised. "Step off, because I don't need your negative energy or your jealousy, or whatever the fuck else your problem is," I ranted. "We're happy, and we're going to have a baby, and there's nothing you can say or do to change that!"
"Everything okay?" Mom asked, and when I turned, I saw that they were all in the doorway, just watching.
"He just—" Dame started but stopped when Dad pinched his side. "Oww…nothing."
Mom made eye contact with all three of us before ushering Maggie, my sister, Peto, and Jordan away from the kitchen. "Kill each other tomorrow. Not today," she scolded.
Dame scoffed. "I'm gonna have a black eye…my face is gonna balloon up!" His expression was painful, which filled me with glee.
"Why?" Mom asked, had caught that.
"He fell," Dad said. "It's just a little bump…"
When my mother left the room, we all relaxed as much as we would again.
"You just always gotta hit somebody to knock them down. I hope you don't beat your kids," Damion started laughing.
"Both of youse…knock it off." Dad was exasperated. "You were outta line, and I would'a bopped you one, too. And you…" he stared at me "—be easy. I don't know. He doesn't mean half the shit he says…thinks it's funny. I don't know. Sonny, you know youse two are gonna meet for lunch two days from now, and youse'll laugh about this."
"Maybe not two days from now…" Dame trailed off. "Whatever…congratulations. I meant what I said, about you being a good dad. I don't know how much my words are worth to you or why you care—"
"You're my fucking brother. I do care!" I didn't know why that was so hard for him to believe. "And…no matter how many kids we do have, your status isn't going to change. But I need you to stop fighting me…stop pushing my buttons and stop fucking with me every chance you get, just because of the way you feel. Just be happy for me!"
"I am." His reply was short, and I waited expectantly for him to say more.
He didn't.
"You wanna do me a favor?" I didn't care if Dad was right here.
"What…?" Dame winced, feeling around his cheekbone.
"Tonight…at like one, Amelia's going to be at Twilight—"
"Whoa!" Dad put his hands up, and I pushed them down.
"Let him settle this," I said.
Dame scrunched his nose. "Why is she going to be there?" He blinked. "I think I lost a contact. That sucks." He looked by his feet.
I sighed. "I invited her…She accepted since…all the shit she's doing is to get closer to me for whatever reason. Handle that, please."
"I don't approve," Dad said.
I grinned. "I'm asking Dame, not you…I have all the pieces in place. Nothing will happen to Dame."
"I can take care of myself," my brother laughed.
"You'll be facing—what's now technically a part of your past—and I know how hard that is for you." I waited to see a reaction, but he didn't agree with or deny my words.
"We'll go," Dad replied. "Your mother and I…she could get outta this house, have a drink to celebrate. Mom'll talk to her."
"Mom?" Dame laughed. "Mommy?"
"No, Bella, my wife…yes, Mommy." Dad rolled his eyes. "Your mother can be a scary bitch when she wants to be. You two go—take your loves, go home and relax. I'll handle it." He pursed his lips. "Some…bullshit."
"No…" Dame shook his head. "I'll go, and I promise to settle it."
"She doesn't fear you," I said.
"She will." He nodded.
"She'll fuck with your head," Dad whispered. "I don't want you—"
"Sonny's right," Dame admitted. "I'm a man…you know? Let me…handle this, please."
As hard as it was for my father, he let Damion go—technically and metaphorically speaking.
He left with Jordan about ten minutes later, and I convinced myself we'd be fine.
And it killed me that no matter what he did or what he does…I couldn't hate him. My brother's gotten away with a lot—fucking murder, too—but just like Dad, I couldn't hold a grudge against him. I want so many things for my brother, and learning to clean his own messes is one of them.
But why does Damion continue to try and hurt me?
Why does he lie all-the-fucking time?
Every time we talk—for this or that reason—all I hear are excuses.
He's jealous of my unborn child now?
Nothing made sense, and all I wanted was my brother back. I wanted us to be the way we used to be—no secrets, we used to actually hang out, and we had each others backs.
But now . . .
He was there for Maggie and me when I had the coke problem. I know he was truly there for my wife, but at least he showed up, did me a solid.
I've been looking out for him my whole life, but now it all means nothing?
I just don't understand.
While I was ecstatic about the baby, I was terribly heartbroken over Dame.
"You were right about a lot of things today." Dad sipped his scotch. "Personal, matters of the heart, actually get us into a lot more trouble than money, or any-fucking-other-thing," he laughed. "Love, too…It has a lot to do with pride, you know? Passionate fuckers like us are ready to die for pride, honor, and love…most of all, loyalty. I'd like to say, 'keep it all separated,' but you can't, no matter how hard you try."
"Yeah…I just don't want to go to the mattresses for this. You taught me a long, long time ago about picking battles. This isn't one of them." I poked the counter. "I respect that you're not worried about it, and in a sense I'm not that concerned either. But…for the past two months, I've been fighting tooth and nail…trying to make up for that shit, the coke?"
"You shouldn't. Now, addiction is a battle in itself. You need to focus on that, having your head, doing right by Maggie…" He wouldn't look at me. "I never want to see you hurt. When you were shot, that was my hell—the worst possible thing imaginable to me. So, throwing you that beating…I know we never truly talked about it—"
"You did the right thing," I admitted. "I would have done the same."
"For whatever reason, you respond to a fist more than words, and your hands say more than your mouth. You're my bruiser." He smiled and hit my shoulder. "And I knew…from when you were a kid that you'd respond to that. Your mother would punish you for the same shit constantly. Once I raised my hand…and I hated having to do that, but you pushed my buttons more than Damion and Kylie…and I know why." He smirked at me. "Now you're…amazing, an amazing man, a smart man—"
"Dad…" He was going to make me cry, and I swallowed my tears.
"Always so tough." He pushed me. "I've made mistakes with all of youse. You know? Dame acted out this year, and I pray to God it's over, but he was a really good child. You gave me hell, and now? I hardly worry about you. You know who you are because I spent years telling you, making sure you acted right. Damion needs me now…he needs me to be understanding. And I need to make up for not protecting him…when he needed it the most."
"I get it." I cleared my throat. "I totally do."
"I'm glad…I mean, we're not so different. I was the little brother once, but your uncle," he sighed, "he's always been just a little bit of an asshole. These days, he has no steam left. He's seen the bigger picture, but back in the day? The mountains of shit I had to dig him out of…and—" he lowered his voice "—I can't tell you how many times I almost killed him. Because if anyone was going to clip him, it was going to be me…on my terms, and before anyone else could . . . But I never did. I'd think about being a teen and how he stepped up, and then he went through some shit. You know the stories."
"But he's your brother and you love him, and you'd never hurt him—"
"No," Dad laughed. "I do love him—always have and always will—exactly like you and Dame. But…everybody needs a beating sometimes."
"GoodFellas." I chuckled.
"Oh, shit…yeah." He nodded.
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