A/N: So, because FF was fail with alerts, some of you are getting two chapters to read today…lucky you! Pics and videos are up on the blog.
Talking to my family about my past was hard.
I had never really opened up about that stuff before, and while I didn't tell them everything, I did discuss with them the things I had already spoke with Dr. Brandon about.
Mom and Dad only knew what my file from CPS had in it, and Mom took it especially hard when I spoke to her about what it was like for me before I got taken away from Victoria.
Dad was grateful that I finally opened up, and told me he'd always be here to listen any time I wanted to talk.
Emmett didn't say much, but his expression told me that if he ever found James or Victoria, that they would probably not be walking away from the meeting.
All three of them seemed to understand more why I hoarded, and were all more willing than ever to help with the clean out, which is why they were all there to help today during my session with Bella.
I was a bit torn about it, having hoped to have the time alone with her so I could try to get to know more about her, but at the same time, after all of the Shake Weight fantasies, I was a bit thankful for the buffer.
Since the foyer was all cleared out, we decided the next area we should focus on should be the kitchen. We started with the hallway that connected the foyer to it and then worked on the kitchen itself. My goal was to get the kitchen totally cleared in two sessions. Bella helped me make a plan for how to sort everything out too, since she knew my affinity for having multiples of everything. We decided on keeping one of each item we came across and all the others we would get rid of, then I could sort through the keep pile and decide if the things were really worth saving or if I'd be better off getting rid of them.
Having my family there turned out to be better than I thought it would be. Having them there really helped me feel like I mattered to them, that they cared about me and my happiness. I mean, I always knew they loved me, and that they cared…but it was still a hard thing to understand with how my early years were, so seeing them so invested in helping me…it finally helped connect what I knew in my mind and what I was feeling in my heart.
The other bonus was seeing everyone interact with Bella, and get to know her. Emmett kept making her laugh with his jokes, and I didn't want him to stop because I loved hearing her laugh, even though I did feel a small pang of jealousy that it wasn't me making her laugh. She also chatted with Mom and Dad as we worked, telling them a bit about her childhood, and her schooling. It gave me a lot more information about her…like the fact that she was a sorority girl in college, and that she attended a smaller school on the east coast. She double majored in psychology and sociology, and though she had earned her Master's degree in psychology, she found her true joy in the work she did now.
She told us how she figured out what she wanted to do during her work on her Master's thesis. She had an aunt who had been a hoarder, and chose that as the focus of her work. In her case study, she worked with a woman to help her organize and clear out her hoard, and that's when she realized the way she wanted to help people, and that it was just a greatly added bonus that she had the tools to fully understand the psychology behind the disorder that her clients had.
Hearing her speak about her past, how she found what she wanted to do with her life…made me fall all the harder for her. It just showed me that much more what a genuinely good, caring person she was. I knew I was slowly losing myself to my attraction for her, and that I needed to get this under control fast, even though I found myself living in a fantasy world by the end of the afternoon when she hugged me and gave me a smile as she told me how proud she was of me for the work we got done today.
Looking around after she said that was the first time I realized just how much had gotten done. The entire hallway to the kitchen was cleared, and one whole side of the kitchen itself was cleared out as well. In the end, I got rid of practically everything I had stored in there. I think Mom was particularly happy to see all the Slap Chops go, considering the fact that she kept giving the pile of them the evil eye and she was a bit…rough shall we say as she threw them all in the give away pile. I think I still might buy her one for Christmas as a gag gift.
Also, as I realized something as I looked at the things I was getting rid of. Looking at the piles of Slushy Magics, Perfect Meatloafs, and 'Ove' Gloves…I realized just how much that I didn't need those things, even if I did decide to keep one of my Xpress Redi Set Go's and one of my Perfect Tortilla's because I thought they were both pretty cool…I was starting to realize how I didn't want to fill my life with things. I wanted to actually be able to live it, enjoy it, and fill it with happy memories.
A/N: CH 16 will post tomorrow.
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