Author's Note: I'm sorry that my updates were rather late this time. The truth is, I've had some hurtful reviews that criticized my stories so much that I'd lost the will to continue writing for a while. I felt like my stories really sucked, and my writing sucked too. They criticized both these things, and I guess I felt self-conscious. But after a while, I began thinking of all my other fans, almost everyone who had been so wonderful enough to stick with me this far. I felt that it wasn't fair for me to listen to one or two people, when tons of others were depending on me. So here I am again. I decided I wasn't going to care. Aren't you proud of me?

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Chapter 16

Edward's Point of View

When Tanya tripped over a wire onstage and started falling, I had automatically tried to catch her.

It was a reflex I'd learned to perfect my entire life, thanks to Bella and her clumsiness. I'd always been the one to catch her before she fell.

I should've known that this was Tanya, not Bella. She had perfect coordination. I should've known it was on purpose.

As soon as I'd caught her, Tanya wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled me down. And she kissed me full in the lips.

In front of everyone.

Unfortunately, that meant Bella had seen as well. I'd tried to pull away, but Tanya was strong.

I had to admit, her plan was genius. She had totally made it look like I'd been the one to kiss her. But why would she want to do this? It would only embarrass us, and there was nothing she could really gain from it.

Unless…

I knew her whole plan instantly when I saw Bella's shocked and hurt face as soon as I had ripped myself away from the devil. So this had been her goal.

Trying to get Bella away from me as far as possible.

Was this really necessary? I wanted to scream at her. She didn't even like me that way! There was no real competition. Yet, you had to squash my seventeen-year old friendship with Bella?

I knew that Bella would never forgive me. She would think I was no different from other boys. She'd accuse me of being a player for claiming that I loved her and kissing another. She detested players. And she would hate me soon enough too.

I stood, frozen, as Bella whirled around and rushed out of the gym. It looked like she was crying, but I couldn't be sure. She weaved through tons of people and the dim lights made it difficult to see.

What was I going to do?

I turned my gaze onto Tanya, who was looking smug and satisfied. The devil had gotten what she'd wanted. She'd gotten a kiss from me in front of the entire school, and she had severed our friendship.

She'd killed two birds with one stone.

I glared daggers at her. "Tanya Denali."

Tanya didn't even look at me as she waved to the crowd. But she said under her breath, using ventriloquism, "Do you really want to make a scene in front of the entire school?"

Fine, I said to myself. I'll kill her later. Right now, Bella was more important.

I gazed into the crowd, trying not to panic as I searched for my friends and siblings. I spotted them soon enough, and I nearly groaned at their expressions.

Emmett and Jasper looked rather pissed, and Alice and Rosalie… They looked like they could rip me to pieces, put me back together, then kill me again in the harshest way possible.

I didn't care anymore. The photographer was making his way onstage to take our picture. But I didn't give him a chance.

Bella was important.

"Edward!" Tanya called, but I was already offstage.

I made my way toward them quickly. People turned toward me, but then turned back to Tanya. I guess she was more interesting with her showy dress and fake smiles.

The photographer gazed after me, confused. Then, he shrugged nonchalantly and turned to Tanya. Tanya posed on her throne while he flashed away on his camera.

They looked so scary. Too scary. I almost chickened out and went back the way I'd come from. But I had to talk to them and find out where Bella went. Surely, they would know.

"Edward Anthony Masen Cullen," Alice growled. "What have you done?"

"You hurt her!" Rosalie snapped. "After everything we did for you, you just had to ruin it, huh?"

"It wasn't on purpose!" I shot back, getting angry now too. I was the victim here. I was innocent. "I was trying to prevent her from falling, and she pulled me down! She did it on purpose!"

"Of course she did!" Alice said, now shouting over the music that had just restarted. "But you were the fool for falling into her trap! You should've just let her fall. You shouldn't have caught her. Hell, you shouldn't have even brought her to Homecoming!"

Alice and I had a glaring contest. I'd never won against my sister, but this time, I didn't back down. I wasn't going to lose anymore. I was tired of losing. I wanted to start gaining.

"Where is she?" I demanded.

"How should we know?" Rosalie retorted. "She ran out before we could talk to her. Emmett and Jasper went after her but she was already driving away when they arrived at the parking lot. What are you going to do about it?"

I glanced at each one of their furious faces, then turned and walked away quickly.

"Where the hell are you going?" Alice called after me furiously. "Come back here! I'm not done with you! You-"

She was cut off abruptly, so I assumed that Emmett or Jasper had clapped their hand to her mouth. They were attracting lots of stares after all.

I ran to my car and slid in. I was out of the parking lot in less than ten seconds, speeding way past the limit.

I had to get to Bella. I had to tell her that it wasn't true. I loved her, and her only. Tanya was only trying to break us apart. I had to tell her that we couldn't let her.

I drove so fast that I was at Bella's house within five minutes. That was a pretty good record for driving on wet ground.

From the looks of it, she had already arrived. Her Audi was parked rather sloppily in the driveway, and there was a light in the living room. The curtains were drawn so efficiently that I couldn't even peek inside.

I ran up to the door and pounded on the door. "Bella!"

There was no answer. I thought I heard the TV running, but she hardly ever watched TV. Why would she watch it now? Definitely abnormal.

"Bella!" I shouted desperately. I pounded some more. "Bella, please! Let me explain!"

The night was too dark, especially since a storm was coming. In fact, it was already starting, as rain began to fall rather heavily behind me.

"Bella! Please!"

Bella's Point of View

It was getting darker outside as every minute passed. A storm was coming.

Normally, I would hate the thunder and heavy rain that followed it. But that didn't matter to me right now. At the moment, I could only replay that horrible scene in my mind, and grow more angry and upset by the minute.

I ran upstairs to escape my dress and shoes. It was a bad memory now, and I'd dressed up for no reason. What he'd said earlier to flatter me…it was all empty words.

I stowed the dress and shoes deep in my closet where I would never be able to see them again. As I closed the closet door, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror.

Shoot. I'd totally forgotten I'd had makeup on. My eyes widened in horror. I'd been crying all this time.

But my makeup was still flawless. I remembered that my thick eyeliner and mascara were waterproof. Thankfully.

I wanted to erase it so much, but I had no remover in the house. I should've bought it on my way home.

Sniffling, I wiped the tears away so that my eyes would not get swollen in the morning. I stared at my reflection for a while, then slapped my hand at the image.

Why was my life this way?

First, it was family problems. My parents fought constantly, and one of them was having an affair. The other was so stubborn that he refused to even come home.

Now, this. I couldn't even be with the boy I liked. I'd lost my best friend tonight. And I'd lost all chances of being able to confess to him about my feelings.

If I thought about it carefully, I realized that Tanya had been the one to kiss him. Maybe she had tripped intentionally, knowing that Edward would be the gentleman to always catch the girl. And she had brought him down to her lips. She, not he.

But it changed nothing. It only meant that Tanya liked Edward enough to be so obsessive over him so that no one else would dare approach him. Including me.

I couldn't betray my friend that way. If she liked him, then I would have to give him up. I had to let her be happy and give her a chance. In time, I was sure that Edward could like her back.

Sighing, I went back downstairs and turned on the TV to fill the scary silence that had returned once more. And with the thunderstorm on its way, it was even more frightening. I wished Charlie was home.

I turned on the news and watched it for a while. I couldn't concentrate on it, and there was nothing to distract me from my sorrows and horrors. So I turned to a corny sitcom, where the audience kept laughing at no reason I could see.

I jumped when thunder boomed outside. And at that moment, someone pounded loudly on my door, startling me even more. "Bella!"

I froze. Why was Edward here? Shouldn't he be with Tanya?

"Bella, please! Let me explain!"

I swallowed. Explain. He didn't need to explain. I already knew that it hadn't been him. He didn't have to leave the dance so that he could explain.

"Bella, please!" The desperation was obvious in his tone.

I didn't want to let him in. I considered ignoring it, because when I thought about him, there was that sting in my eyes and the stab in my heart, and I was on the verge of tears again. I didn't want to cry anymore.

The pounding continued. And the rain continued. "Bella."

Finally, I couldn't stand it any longer. I got up and headed toward the door. Even though I didn't want to see him anymore tonight, there was that rain. I couldn't leave my friend waiting out there in the heavy rain.

I opened the door so suddenly that he looked startled. But relieved. "Bella," he breathed.

Could he see that I'd been crying? I was sure that the eyeliner would conceal the redness around my eyes. I didn't want to get caught or anything…

I exhaled sharply and stepped aside so that he could come in. He did so, and I looked back at the rain for a moment before shutting the coldness out of the house.

He followed me into the cozy living room where I plopped back down on the sofa and tried to ignore him.

"Bella," Edward said quickly. "What you saw. It's-"

"You don't have to explain," I cut him off curtly. "I know. I understand. It wasn't you." I didn't mean to, but I couldn't help but feel and sound resentful. It wasn't fair to him. He'd done nothing wrong, technically. But I couldn't help it.

"Then why did you run away?" Edward asked, looking hurt.

I hesitated. What do I tell him now?

"Bella," he said, moving in front of me to block my view of the TV. "I guess…there's no denying it now. I can't…" He blew out a sigh. "I don't have the confidence to keep it a secret any longer." He looked resigned. "It isn't anymore anyway."

"You mean that thing about what Alice said?" I asked, glowering. "Don't bring it up anymore, Edward. You told me to pretend that she didn't say anything. I'm pretending, aren't I? Isn't that enough for you?"

Edward looked like I'd slapped him in the face. I should have probably done that instead. "Bella, I…"

I stood abruptly from the sofa, wearing a frustrated and angry expression on my face. I couldn't stand it anymore. Everything about my life sucked right now, and I really didn't want to have this conversation with my friend. Even though I'd finally realized that I liked him back, I'd rather prefer remaining friends than possibly breaking up later and crying about that as well.

"You know what, Edward?" I asked, hurt evident in my tone. "It's okay. You don't have to feel guilty or wronged over something like that. It's not like we're going out. We're friends." I swallowed. "And friends understand each other."

He looked speechless. He looked like he wanted to say something in defense, but my attitude was shocking him. Maybe he was wondering why I was sounding so hurt.

"What Alice said," I said. "It's nothing, alright? If you want, I'll act as though nothing awkward happened between us. Honestly, I would prefer that too."

It was a small revenge, what I was doing. For making me feel so hurt. The only way I could think of to get back at him and protect myself was to pretend like I didn't care.

But it was clearly the wrong thing to say, because Edward's face hardened immediately at my words.

"You think I want you to pretend?" he demanded, his voice rising now.

I didn't back down and stubbornly stared up at him defiantly. "Don't you?"

"No!" Edward shouted. "I don't want to do this, okay? Do you know what I want to do? I wish I can just shout at my feelings to the whole world. I'd feel so much better. Do you know how hard it was, trying to stay by your side as your friend, and not as a boy?"

We were approaching the dangerous subject. I wanted to avoid that. Avoid everything, if possible.

But, of course, with the tension that had been building over the past few days, I wasn't going to back down either. I had some things to say too.

"Well, maybe you shouldn't have befriended me from the very beginning!" I retorted, my voice rising now too. Trying to control my temper wasn't going to work now. We might as well get this over with. We'd never fought once in our lives. It would be good to actually experience it.

Edward's eyes flashed. "You don't mean that," he said flatly.

I glared. "Yes. I do mean it. Sometimes…friends do get tired of each other." My voice trembled. "Maybe we're getting tired too. Maybe we need a break from each other."

He was growing even angrier. I could feel it. I could see it. He was ready to explode. And explode he did.

"Don't you understand at all?" he yelled, his musical voice filling up the entire house. "Can you not understand how I feel? Do you not get why I was able to stay beside you all this time and not go insane?"

"Why did you befriend me then?" I demanded. I would not back down now. "Was it pity? Was everything a lie then? If you're going to stop being my friend now and start hurting me instead, then why did you hang around me in the first place?"

"Because I love you!" Edward yelled, his expression morphing into desperation, hurt, and…sincerity.

I fell silent, my eyes widening in shock. How could he just admit that? It was impossible… We'd been friends forever.

I felt the familiar sting in my eyes and heart, and the tears formed. They fell down my reddening cheeks. I couldn't breathe. It was surely…impossible…

Edward's eyes softened when he saw my shock.

"Because I love you," he repeated softly.

My legs felt like jelly. I hadn't expected him to yell out his sincerity so unexpectedly. All I could do was blink madly and cry.

"I've loved you ever since we were little," he said. "And as we grew up, as we grew closer to each other…nothing changed. My feelings for you only grew stronger, and soon, I couldn't see anyone else but you."

He exhaled wearily. "You don't know, Bella. You don't know how hard it was to watch you from far away, unable to cross over that friend line. I wanted to comfort you as a boy, not as a friend. But I couldn't…because you didn't feel the same way."

He hesitated, then said resignedly, "You still don't." His voice was soft. It was barely audible.

That would have been my cue to confess my own feelings, but of course I didn't. Like the coward that I was.

Just as well. I couldn't even open my mouth, much less think about what to say to him.

From now on, Edward Cullen was no longer my friend. He would never be able to be the best friend that I'd loved so much. No, he would never be able to return to that position.

I would always see him differently now, as someone who loved and saw me as a girl. And I would see him as the boy that I'd ended up falling for. Hard.

Edward raised his hand to reach for my face – to wipe away my tears – but he hesitated at the last moment. His shoulders slumped slightly, and his hand dropped back to his side.

He sighed. "I'm sorry I hurt you with my words. I'm sorry for my actions. But I don't regret any of them." He gave me a wistful look. "Because…" He smiled sadly. "Then I would be regretting that I ever loved Isabella Swan. And you'll never find me regretting that. Ever."

Edward seemed to be hurting even more than I was. I supposed that I would be hurting too, if I believed that the one I loved didn't love me back. I wondered how painful it was for him. How could he bear it? How was he able to endure it, when I couldn't even handle a simple confession from my best friend?

"You don't have to say anything," he promised, trying to smile. "I won't ask anything of you. You don't have to feel pressured or anything. At least…at least you know how I feel now."

He studied my face intently before turning to leave. He walked out of the room slowly as though each step was hurting him. I stayed frozen even after the front door had closed.

As soon as I heard the Volvo driving away, I finally exhaled sharply, and, at the same time, let out a sob. My legs gave way, and I dropped to the floor. I hugged my knees to my chest and rocked back and forth, trying to stop crying.

But thinking of how much Edward would've gone through because of me made me feel so guilty and sorry. And thinking of that, I couldn't stop wailing.

The tears flowed down relentlessly. I was probably a huge mess, what with my makeup still on my face.

How could someone like Edward love someone who was as messed up as I was? I, who basically had no life, who had personal family problems, and didn't even know when my best friend was in love with me? It just didn't make sense.

Someone as perfect and whole as Edward should be meeting a girl just as perfect as he is. A girl who is far more beautiful, more confident, more intelligent, and who has a good family background.

He deserved more.

I didn't even have the right to be his friend in the first place. I should've learned my place from the very beginning.

AN: I'm still afraid of updating. The reviews I'd been looking forward to…the reviews that I'd been addicted to… I'm afraid of reading them now. Even though I did update today, I'm still not so sure.

If you disapprove of the way I'm taking my stories, if you don't like my style of writing or the story line, please don't leave any hurtful comments like you did before and just don't read my story. It really hurt me, what you've wrote. Thank you for understanding.