Author's Note: Hello, fans! I want to thank you all for encouraging me to keep writing and do whatever I want with my own stories. I'll definitely take your advice and ignore all those anti-fans. Thanks so much! You made me feel loads better; you have no idea how much! Read on!

Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

Chapter 17

Edward's Point of View

Something must be wrong with me. I couldn't see where I was going. It was dangerous. My eyes…they were getting blurry…

Even though I'd been driving slowly, five miles an hour after leaving her house, I still couldn't bear to keep going. What if something happened?

Shaken, I turned to the side of the road and shifted the gear into parking. I still couldn't see. The pictures were fading in and out… Seriously. What was the matter with me?

I leaned my forehead on the steering wheel and looked down at my lap. I could still feel my heart beating fast as I remembered my abrupt, unplanned confession.

Something dropped onto my lap. It was wet. Confused, I blinked, and more droplets of water fell. I stared at the spots in shock.

I finally understood why my usually perfect vision had been blurry. I was crying. I was actually crying.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd cried. I think it was when I'd been in second grade, when Emmett had accidentally broken my arm, not knowing his own strength. The pain, I still remembered.

But this pain…it was worse. I knew instantly that, as long as I lived, nothing would ever be as painful as…this.

Isabella Swan… Who was she to make me do something I hadn't done in a long time? Who was she to make me feel this way? Make me feel angry, frustrated, and so…emotional?

The tears felt foreign. It didn't feel right. Men didn't cry. I didn't cry. I had to get a hold of myself. I had to get a grip.

I was so good at controlling myself. I had excellent self-control. But right now, thinking of Bella, I couldn't do anything to stop the tears from falling.

Everything was changing. I was becoming weaker because of love. Our friendship was torn into shreds. We were both confused. Our surroundings…our maturity…situations… Everything was changing.

I missed the old times. Back when we were still young and innocent, knowing nothing even as we pushed each other around and laughing…unable to realize that we would have the worst fight with each other for the first time in our lives in a few years…

Everything had been so much easier then. It had been easier to stay friends with her. Easier to like her. Love her.

But now, we were different. We'd changed, and looking back on it, I realized that we'd both had a slightly difficult time trying to keep each other in check ever since high school began. She'd become more emotional and self-conscious. I'd become more cocky and irresponsible.

Different. Too different. One was careful and responsible. The other was wild and carefree.

Too different.

Were we not meant to be? I'd loved Bella since I was young. Over the years, nothing had changed, except that my feelings had gotten stronger. On the other hand…if she was so shocked by my confession though already knowing about my feelings, then…maybe she didn't love me back. Maybe…she really didn't have room in her heart for me. To look at me in another way. As a man.

If I thought about it from an outsider's point of view, all this would have looked silly. Love? Forget it. It was such a stupid reason to rage and fight with a friend you've known for seventeen years.

But once I settled back inside my own perspective, everything was horrible. Everything was going wrong. My life was twisted, tangled, and miserable. Nothing was going right.

If I kept thinking about it, I felt angrier. It was so infuriating. It wasn't fair. Where was the justice in life?

I kept sitting there in the same position, breathing hard and no longer crying. I was mad now. It wasn't fair that fate was telling me to give up on a girl that I'd loved my entire life.

It was my life. No one else's. I controlled it. I was the boss of it. No one could make me do what I didn't want to do.

I wanted Bella.

I wanted her, and no one else. It had to be her, specifically. Without her, I couldn't live anymore. This was how far I'd gone.

I finally looked up. I leaned back in my chair wearily, staring out the windshield at the pouring rain.

I remembered the time when Bella and I had sneaked out of the house when it was raining hard. She'd been over at my house for a sleepover with Alice, my sister having insisted on a full makeover.

Bella had pleaded with me for help, and I'd suggested that we run away. Nothing else was going to rein Alice in, after all. So we did. We'd ran from the house, getting completely drenched in the rain…

We had been eighth graders. We'd just been about to promote to high school. Hormones and puberty…the center of its job.

One minute, we'd been talking about how everyone at our school had been locking lips with each other…

I closed my eyes, lost in the memory. I could still see it so clearly. Feel it so clearly.

Having run into the forest to find shelter from the rain, we'd sat on a thick, dry tree branch. The dense leaves of the tall trees above us had protected us from the raindrops…

"I can never get to class on time during passing periods," I complained. "The love crowd is getting really out of hand. Anyway, I thought couples and kissing were supposed to be in high school."

Bella laughed, the musical sound ringing around our surroundings beautifully. It was music to my ears. It was a unique type of music that I never got tired of.

I couldn't help but stare at her. It wasn't fair. How could anyone look so beautiful? She shouldn't be allowed to be let out of the house. I didn't even like the way boys stared at her when she walked past, clumsy as she was. They looked at her looks, voice, and intelligence. Coordination didn't matter if you had everything else.

She didn't notice anything, of course. She was dense when it came to boys. She never knew even if a guy was in front of her, flirting openly. To her, everyone was just a friend. She was friendly and open to everyone.

Not fair.

"Take the shortcut," Bella suggested, looking straight ahead into the trees, studying the complicated patterns of how the tree branches wound themselves around.

"I do," I said. "It takes longer, somehow."

She laughed again, then stopped abruptly. She looked at me, mockingly reproachful. "Only because you're another one of those boys who are locking lips."

I chuckled. "How would you know that? You never see me during passing periods."

"I know you." She hesitated. "And…I heard Ashley Johnson a few days ago, bragging that you kissed her in front of everyone in the hallways."

I laughed, amused rather than feeling embarrassed in front of my true crush. "Sharp, as always, Isabella." I ruffled her now slightly damp hair. We'd been sitting on the branch for so long that our clothes and hair were almost dried.

"People said you're going out with her," she said, frowning. "Are you?"

I looked away, staring at the same tree she'd been staring at earlier. "Why?" I felt curious…wondering if she was feeling jealous.

"You know I don't particularly like her," Bella said. "Are you purposely doing it? Picking some girl I can't tolerate so you can get rid of me? Are you finally getting tired of me?" Her tone was playful. She nudged me gently, her chocolate eyes sparkling.

I smiled slightly. "Maybe."

She pouted. "Meanie." She sighed, though smiling. "I don't know why I hang out with you. Alice told me I shouldn't anymore."

"Why not?"

"Because apparently, people would be assuming that you and I are dating," she said, so matter-of-factly, that I wondered how she could say that so innocently. "She said I should be careful."

"And I say that you should never listen to my sister," I countered, narrowing my eyes at her playfully. "You're not going to listen to her and leave me all alone, are you?"

"Maybe," she said, imitating my response from earlier. She smirked.

We sat in silence for a couple minutes. It was a comfortable silence, though. It never bothered us, and we never felt the need to fill it up. I, of course, was staring at her again, fascinated by the way her hair blew slightly in the gentle breeze…like she was some model for a shampoo commercial.

"Who was your first kiss?" Bella asked suddenly.

I blinked, taken aback. "What?"

She looked at me, curiosity filling up her heart-shaped face. "I'm curious. You never tell me about your love life, even though I ask. Why don't you ever tell me?"

I recovered, then looked away from her piercing gaze. "Because it's none of your business. That's personal."

Bella scoffed, rolling her eyes. "Since when is anything personal between us?"

"You keep things from me," I said, fighting a smile. "Like when your period starts."

She slapped my arm, blushing. "That's a girl thing! Doesn't count!"

"It's okay," I said easily. "I know when you're on your monthly thing."

Her eyes widened in shock. "How would you know that? I don't even tell Alice."

I smirked, glancing at her totally red face. "I've known you for years, Bella. You think I don't know when something about you changes?"

She looked horrified. "I don't get it."

I laughed. "Relax. I don't stalk you. I respect my favorite girl's privacy." I winked.

She relaxed slightly, but she still looked mortified. "How? Do I eat more than usual?" She frowned slightly, trying to think back.

"I can tell by your mood swings," I said lightly. "One minute, you're laughing your head off, the next, you're glaring daggers at Emmett. Simple enough."

"Oh." Bella laughed, embarrassed again. "Okay."

I thought I'd distracted her from the original subject, but of course she would be Bella if she forgot.

"So?" she prompted. "You know about my secrets so well. But I don't know yours. Don't try to avoid the subject. When was your first kiss?"

I couldn't help but frown slightly. I recalled the reason why I'd even kissed that girl in the first place.

"Why do you want to know so bad?" I asked teasingly. "So you can get jealous?"

She huffed. "You wish."

Yes, I do, I thought.

"Seventh grade," I responded. "I won't tell you who, so don't try to wheedle it out of me."

Bella shrugged. "Fine. What I want to know is… What did it feel like?"

I thought about it. Finally, I said, "Skin."

She blinked rapidly. "Skin?" she repeated. "I meant emotions, Edward."

I shrugged. "I didn't feel anything in particular."

"You mean you kissed the girl even though you didn't like her?" she asked incredulously. "What kind of first kiss is that?"

"I honestly don't care." I gave her an amused look. "Things like that aren't important to boys. But girls are different, aren't they? That's why you asked me that question in the first place."

She flushed again. "I'm just curious," she defended herself.

"Fine then," I said, turning my body to her completely, intrigued. "I'm listening. What's your ideal first kiss?"

Bella blushed deep red. "Nothing. I don't have one." She frowned. "You talk like I've never had a first kiss before."

"You didn't."

She shook her head. "I've had my first kiss," she insisted. "When I was five."

I thought back to when we were five years old. And I remembered.

I rolled my eyes. "Bella. That isn't a first kiss. That's more like a first peck. With Emmett."

"Whatever," she said dismissively. "Whatever you say, I've had my first kiss. That's my excuse, in case anyone wants to take away my first kiss in high school." She smiled sheepishly.

"See?" I pointed out. "You've just admitted that you haven't had your first kiss."

"I did not."

"Yes, you did."

She huffed indignantly. "Whatever!"

I was thoughtful. Then, suddenly, I asked, "Would you remember who your first kiss was for the rest of your life?"

"Of course," Bella said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. "I still remember him, don't I? Emmett."

I ignored the bluff. I was more interested in her answer. "You would?"

She nodded, blushing again.

My lips curled up crookedly, and she stared at her favorite smile blankly.

"What?" she asked.

As fast as lightning, I grabbed her hand and pulled her toward me. And I kissed her pouty lips eagerly.

Bella seemed shocked. She was frozen and stiff. I could totally hear her thoughts: What the hell are you doing, Edward Cullen?

But I wanted to be her first kiss. I'd already had mine, but I wanted to steal hers. I was greedy and selfish, but I didn't want some other guy taking it away from her.

After a good thirty seconds of tasting her delicious lips and scent, I pulled away, grinning widely. That felt really good.

Her eyes were still wide. "What was that?" she demanded, though her voice was too astounded and shaky to sound fierce.

I shrugged nonchalantly. "I hope you don't mind. I didn't want some strange, no-good guy stealing away your first kiss. Now, you can proudly say that Edward Cullen stole it from you."

Bella made a face. The blush faded from her cheeks, and she rolled her eyes. Then, she started laughing. Hard.

"What?"

"I'm…sorry…!" Bella choked out, clutching her stomach. "It just seemed so hypocritical and funny…!" Her laughter turned to shrieks.

"Do I really kiss horribly?" I asked softly, jokingly. I nudged her, pretending to be hurt. I was glad she wasn't taking it in the wrong way. It didn't matter that she didn't know how I felt yet. There would be plenty of time for that later…but for now, stealing her precious first kiss was good enough for me.

Bella shook her head, gasping her breath. "No, no…it's not that. It's just…" She giggled again. "Your reason for doing it was too funny."

"Funny?" I objected.

"Strange," she amended, gaining control now. "Abnormal. Friends don't really do that. But you do. You're so protective. You were trying to protect me, but it seemed really weird and interesting that you would take away my first kiss to do so. Ironic." She smiled. "I guess I'm lucky."

"Why?"

"Because the famous Edward Cullen is the one who took away my first kiss," she said. "All girls would want to be in my place."

Smiling, she carefully began climbing down the tree. "Come on, Edward. It's been hours already; everyone will be worrying. Time to go."

I remembered the rustling of the trees and the smell of the fresh rain as we walked back to the house. I also remembered the emotions that I'd been feeling after stealing the first kiss: triumphant, smug, and ridiculously happy.

She had brushed it off like it was nothing, like it was perfectly normal between us. Since we'd been so close, it really was nothing that affected us hugely. But even so…I wondered if she still thought about that moment every once in a while.

I kept thinking about that day as I drove home. I was distracted and still angry when I went inside. Esme called my name, but I ignored her and walked to my room.

After stripping from my tux and locking myself in my bathroom, I stared at the reflection of myself in the huge mirror.

The frustration rising in my chest once more… I punched the mirror as hard as I could.

The glass shattered and scattered onto the black counter. I stared at the cracked and uneven surface of the shiny mirror. My hand was trembling slightly as blood dripped down onto the spotless, white tiles.

AN: How was it? Cute memory, I know, but it turns into salt that gets rubbed on his wound, especially during this time. Heh. Reviews, por favor!