Stephenie Meyer owns all things Twilight. No copyright infringement is intended.
Beta'd by HollettLA.
* Added a paragraph/any grammatical errors are mine.
This is the last regular chapter. Coming up, we have two epilogues, and then...I'm sorry. The story will be over. I'll be hitting the complete button on this story. However, you never know. Keep following Riders for any potential - I can't make any promises - future outtakes. (I have a few ideas/glimpses into the future)
Ending this story - the series - has been very emotional for me. I don't want to end it either, it seems, but it's time.
I'd like to thank quite a few people:
HollettLA, my amazing beta, who helps make the chapters prettier for you all. She truly is an inspiration, and she does keep me going, and she's one of my best friends, and I fucking love her. Lisa, thank you!
CaraNo, my fuckhot Twife, has been a great help. She knows these characters as well as I do, it seems. Sometimes, when "I" can't find the words, she can, and she's helped me along - has also kept me going when I thought...well, when I didn't know if I should or could continue.
JMac...I just fucking love you, bb!
AND Quiet Storm would have ONLY been a one shot had it not been for Ashma0407, CiCiGooden, and Ttharman. I originally wrote the first chapter of QS for them, as a crackfic type thing. LOL. They made me keep writing, made me flesh it out.
I've had plenty of Prereaders for the Storm series throughout the years - people whose encouraging words and thoughts have helped as well. Let's see if I can name them all: JMac, Ashma0407, DeeBelle, CiCiGooden, KrisStrouse, Rose Arcadia, Dr. Tammy, B. Tait, OcSickGirl, Jen Burdick, and my buddy Najs who's provided me with fantastic commentary/reviews for each chapter.
Most of all, I'd like to thank you guys - the readers! You guys rock! And I swear. Storm Series readers are the most passionate within the fandom. LOL. THANK YOU!
I love you all!
Thank you to everyone...for giving me this opportunity to share these stories, everyone who's supported me through the good, the bad, and the ugly!
Thank you!
- Lexi
"Riders on the Storm"
Chapter Fifty-One: Wayward Son
Edward POV
Bella managed to fall asleep while I ducked out to sit on the deck. It wasn't as quiet as I'd hoped. From the sound of it, Sonny and Maggie joined Kylie, Peto, and them for breakfast. I heard them all laughing at different times, heard Dame and Sonny cajoling each other.
It sounded like Sunday dinners…
But most of all, I hated knowing that my presence would hinder that.
If I'd made my sitting here known, they'd stop laughing and kidding around.
They'd stop being themselves.
And my heart was breaking as my mind reeled, wondering how I'd made it that way.
Kylie, my sweet baby girl, doesn't hold her tongue around me. She says whatever to actually get reactions out of me.
Sonny, he's never been anything but honest. Because somewhere along the way, our relationship changed. We went from being father and son to being peers—almost like brothers in a way. But neither of us has ever forgotten—I'm his father, and he's my son. And the love we share, the way we understand each other—it's precious to me. I know when to parent him, when to lend my ear as if I'm his brother, and when to be a hard-ass because he can be stubborn. We butt heads and yet it's accepted and we move on.
Damion…
I just don't know anymore. If someone asked me ten years ago, I would have said the opposite.
After doing my bid, coming home, Damion embraced me.
Sonny was the one who gave me hell in the years to follow.
Then Sonny was hurt…
Things changed, albeit slightly, but Damion had a colder, tougher edge while Sonny softened just a bit.
My eldest finally let me be his father.
Damion no longer feared the small stuff; he wasn't as mushy.
It was a happy medium.
Life in the years that followed…Sonny and I remained close, even if I'd ride his ass.
Maybe he didn't appreciate it then, but I know he does now, and he always respected it—no matter his distaste in the past.
When he turned seventeen and begged me to put him to work . . . even after knowing what I did, how I made my living.
Well, there was a time where I swore my children would never do what I do, and then that changed.
Sonny excelled at everything he put his mind to, and I knew that'd be the case. It's that way with each of my children. All they have to do is want it, and then they'll do whatever it takes to have it and keep it.
Sure, they've all had their fair share of trouble—Sonny with his fighting and then recently with the drug use, Kylie being bratty and never accepting the word "no"—but fucking Damion, man.
He was always an exceptional child.
He was always the smart one.
He'd do his best to stay out of trouble. Or, maybe he never acted out because he'd have me and Sonny to answer to. I have no idea.
But I never worried about him.
Truth be told, now that he's not involved, I'm not really worried about him.
I just wish he'd let me in.
If he can't accept that I'm his father—he can't let me be his dad—I wish he'd let me be his friend.
"Noah!" Sonny shouted, leaving the deck to chase that little dog.
"Get him before he reaches the water!" Maggie ran after Sonny, wearing a tent of a T-shirt that practically flapped in the wind.
"Stop running!" Sonny turned to Maggie, concern etched on his face.
It made me smile—funny, because he won't even let the poor girl run.
"Get the dog!" Maggie hollered, pointing to the shoreline.
Sonny groaned. "Noah!" His voice took that tone, and that rat-like thing ran like a motherfucker back to Maggie. "If he can't act right, put him back in his cage."
He sounded how I used to, when I'd send Sonny to his room…
"He probably ran like that because he's always stuck in that crate." Maggie pouted, and she had a point.
A certain level of freedom is needed, or else a person—or dog—will go apeshit as soon as it has its wings.
That's why I've eased up on Kylie.
All baby girl wants is to be with Peto.
Her crying about freedom . . . her wanting this or that, it all went away because Aro's son came back.
Now she's whole.
I'm just waiting for that phone call, for them to either tell us they're already engaged, or Peto needs to set up a sit-down to ask for her hand. I know it's coming. Aro raised the kid right, so he'll be calling for my blessing—my permission—if Kylie doesn't pop the question herself.
Our daughter has a lot of Bella in her, but she's got some of the Skip's genes, too.
It could play out in a few directions, but the end result will still be the same.
They're it for each other.
"I'll put the leash on him." Sonny placed a lingering kiss on Maggie's forehead, and that's when his eyes found me. "Dad?"
I gave him a chin jerk.
"Oh!" he hollered and started running toward me.
I smiled as I left the deck to meet him halfway, because that's what we do—we have a level of understanding between us, can always find a compromise in most situations. "What's up?"
Sonny's big ass wasn't stopping. He kept sprinting toward me until he embraced me, tackled me to the ground. "I'm so happy to see you." He hugged me tightly.
I didn't care that I was covered in sand. "Me too, baby boy." I kissed his cheek.
"Dad…" His eyes met mine, but Sonny's still too tough for his own good. The tears in his gaze never spilled. "Thank you," he said.
I nodded. "Thank you."
"No." He stood up and pulled me with him. "Thank you for…everything. Just everything. Everything you taught me, the confidence you have in me—"
"Shhh." I yanked him into another embrace.
"It's still hard to believe…um, promise me you won't—"
I leaned away to hold his cheeks. "I'm not going anywhere, not until you know all the answers." I wasn't exactly ready to step down just yet, and I hoped that'd be okay with him.
"Thank God," he laughed, patting my back. "Did I pass your test?" He raised a brow.
"With flying colors…I never doubted it for a minute." It was the God's honest truth.
"Cool . . . Did you wanna talk now, or…?" He shrugged.
"Save it for when we're back in the city," I whispered.
"All right." He nodded. "Just…let it all settle down, let Luke take care of Mike before you take care of Luke."
I started cracking up. "I promise."
"That way it'll look like Philly's avenging Mike."
"Abso-fucking-lutely." Maybe I taught this kid better than I thought. "Exactly." I hugged that fucker again. "I love you," I said.
"I love you, too." He stepped away. "You okay? You seem…jittery."
I huffed a breath, looking around us. We were closer to my deck than his, our voices were hushed, and I hoped Damion was out of earshot. "Dame said some shit, thinks I left you in the lurch. You don't feel that way, I hope?" I didn't think he did, but I wanted to make sure.
"No, I understand perfectly. If you were around, you would have handled it. You wanted me to, which is what I told Damion," he whispered. "We're getting along better…I'll talk to him."
"Don't," I begged. "Just…the last thing I wanna do is fight with him." I was so angry, so upset about the circumstances—what Damion said—I was afraid that if I confronted him, I'd throw my fist out.
"I…I haven't told him much. Basically, just that you had your reasons. That you were away, and you asked me to handle shit." He stepped closer to me. "Kylie and Dame, mostly Dame, they were scared shitless. They thought…"
"Well, Kylie…other than recent times when we've included her, she's always thought they were vacations. She's never known…the things you and your brother do." I didn't know what else to say. "Being afraid is new to Kylie—"
"And Dame's been running from his fear instead of facing it...for too long. He thinks he can, wanted to go to the sit-down with me." Sonny seemed at a loss as well. "He cheered up when Jordan came through—"
"How'd you get her to come?" I was curious.
He winced. "Dame said she was…torn? I don't know. When I called, all I explained is that…if by some chance she had a change of heart, I'd get her to Dame. But she was like, 'I'll just see him Monday,' and then…"
"What?" I asked.
"She just agreed—wanted to know where he was at so she could take the bus. It worked out."
I quirked a brow. "Did you…threaten her? You didn't threaten that poor girl, did you?"
"God, no!" He chuckled. "Why would I do that? I didn't need to do that, although I did think about it—like if she refused to come. At first, she was calm, said she'd see him Monday, and then she…like started crying, was relieved and agreed to come real fast. She legit missed his ass."
"Okay." I nodded. "How's Maggie feeling? How are things?"
"Everything's great." He turned when his brother came outside to smoke a cigarette.
"When are you going to quit?" I asked. "You're on your way to becoming a doctor…" I had to break the ice somehow, and since he already thinks I'm a prick, I figured, fuck it.
We try so hard to include him, walking on eggshells and tiptoeing.
We just try so-fucking-hard with that kid.
And maybe Damion doesn't pull away altogether because he's afraid he'll hurt us.
He wants his own life.
He resents being a Cullen, being my son.
And maybe he needs that push.
Maybe we needed to let him go?
I love him—as much as it'll break me—I loved him enough to let him go.
Let him do his residency wherever he wants…
Let him separate himself from us.
Let him have his freedom.
But . . .
Fuck all that.
Family stays together.
There was no way I'd let him get away…get too far, anyway.
In the end, though, I truly want him happy…
In short, I had absolutely no idea what to do.
Damion put his smoke out in the ashtray and then went right back inside.
"Nice," Sonny commented. "What's his problem suddenly?"
"Me," I said. "I'm his problem…and if it's not you, it's me, which is classic Dame." I was tired now, feeling a bit groggy or maybe defeated. "Dame!" I hollered, calling for him. He was fast to stop walking and turn, widening his arms. "Get out here. Lemme talk to you." I had to…I just had to.
Damion scooped his sneakers on and hopped over the deck railing to land in front of me. "What's up?"
"Take a walk wit' me." I jerked my head.
"Go on." Sonny pushed him before running back inside.
Damion sighed. "I'm not apologizing for what I said." His tone was stern. "Shit got hot, and you took off—"
"Shut up." I shook my head. "You don't understand." I started laughing; nothing was funny. "You think I'm going to be around forever?" I pointed to myself. "No, I'm not. And there's going to come a day when Sonny's going to have to handle shit like that without me. He's gonna have to get you and your sister outta Dodge—make sure youse are safe and handle his business. You could call this a trial run…and I wasn't in fucking Hawaii!" I shouted, quick to bring my voice down. "I wasn't far away at all, just in case I had to come back—God forbid anything."
Stopping to catch my breath after that rant, I had to place my shaking hands into my pockets. "I've made mistakes, Dame—there's shit I can't change. But tell me what more you want? Want from me? I'm here. I've been here, and you can't even meet me halfway. We get just close enough and then you push me away again…As much as you don't think so, I know you need me—"
"I don't," Dame said.
"I thought we were past all that shit. So, now you tell me, Dame. Tell me...This recent chip on your shoulder…was it because of that misunderstanding?" I asked. "Because you didn't know our being away had a purpose?"
Damion faced the water, wouldn't look at me.
"Fucking look at me!" I slapped my chest.
"Sonny needed you—"
"He didn't!" I cut him off. "He didn't need me for shit! Sonny handled things better than I would have—"
"Because he's perfect." He snorted.
"No." I was fast to say. "He's not perfect. No one's perfect. You handled things great, too. You both did fantastic, and...your slate's a lot cleaner than Sonny's, but this isn't a competition, nor is it about your brother. I had faith that you guys would be just fine. I knew youse didn't need me. You were there for Sonny, for Kylie, for Maggie when your mother and I couldn't be. You stepped up, which was what Sonny also had to do. Tell me how this is a problem?" I widened my arms.
"You should have—"
I barked out a laugh. "If I drop dead tomorrow and some shit pops off next week. You still gonna hate me then? For not being here?"
"But you're not dead, and you are here," he said. "I just can't believe you'd saddle Sonny with your crap—"
"My crap?" I asked. "I've made decisions, just like Sonny has made decisions, and you've made decisions. You chose not to be involved, and I don't want you to be. It's my life—Sonny's life, and you obviously hate our lifestyle, as much as you embrace certain aspects…" In truth, I couldn't make heads or tails of him.
"But…what happened?" I pushed my hair back. "That's our crap—Sonny's and mine to deal with as we see fit. I didn't need to be here. Sonny knew what to do." I also didn't know what else to say. "Look, I can plead my case to you all day. I can sit and explain my reasoning." I stiffened, angry, because I didn't feel the need to plead at all. Fuck pleading. "But why should I? I've got my word and my dick, and if you don't accept what I say, you can suck it!" I grabbed my junk. "I'm tired of walking on eggshells with you—you need to toughen up!"
"Whoa!" Sonny jumped out to get between us.
"I'm fine." I held my hands out. "I'm not—" Huffing a breath, I turned away from the scene, but then I turned right back. "I never—in my life—had as much patience as I've shown with you. You grew up as my son, dealt with things as they were because you're my son. But get…get over it." My voice broke and tears pricked my eyes, but I was fast to shake it off. "Get over yourself! Be a fucking man and accept the things you can't change—like the past, the fact that you're my son!"
Sonny was ushering me away from his brother while Damion walked toward me.
"What's up, Dame?" I widened my arms again, knowing he wanted to take a swing at me. "Let's go!"
"Edward!" Bella shrieked. "Get in here!"
I ignored her, pushing Sonny away. "Let me go."
"No." He was seconds away from getting a punch in the face, too.
"You hate us? You don't wanna be a Cullen? Change your name and go! Just fucking go!"
"No!" Bella yanked on my shirt. "Dame…" She ran after him as he started walking down the beach.
"Just let him go!" I hollered out. "That's what he wants—"
"Dad!" Sonny grabbed my jaw. "Stop it!"
I pushed him out of my face, but my eldest was going to save me from me.
Or, save his brother.
Sonny slammed his chest to mine, holding me to the outside wall of our suite. "Relax!"
I gritted my teeth, turning to punch the wood paneling. "He hates us."
"He doesn't," Sonny whispered.
"I just want him happy…even if that means pushing him away," I admitted, swallowing my tears. "I don't know what happened." I held my forehead. "I was trying to explain and then I just got so angry—"
"You did. You explained…but you also didn't give Dame a chance to talk. You just…lost it." Sonny shrugged, taking a seat on the step. "You didn't tell him that you're thinking of…stepping back."
Aggravated, I didn't know what I wanted anymore. Being the boss is my life. It's my role, my crap, and maybe I shouldn't let it land on Sonny's lap. Maybe Damion had a point. Maybe I should stop trying to make up for the past, but no.
Just like I was groomed to be who I am, I've raised Sonny to be my successor.
Being the Skip and being a family man—Bella's husband and a father to three beautiful children—has always been a juggling act. It never fails. Whenever I'd excel at one thing, the other would crumble, and time is a funny thing.
I always thought I'd have time—time to set things right.
In life, you slack off where you can if things are too much, and I've always taken my family for granted—thinking there'd be all this time where I could set things straight, be a better father, be a better husband.
And . . .
There's no such thing as stepping back from parenting.
I've done enough of that. I've spent too much time teaching Sonny how to be me. I've spent too much time spoiling Kylie to keep her happy. I've spent too much time thinking Damion was all right, not concerning myself with him, because he was never problematic.
I'm years late to the game, but I needed to step up and be a father.
Since they were babies, I've truly spoiled them all.
Always having thought that if I gave them what they wanted . . . whatever frivolous purchase would make up for my absence.
I've always gone for the quick fix.
This time . . . my word wasn't good enough.
Just telling my wife and children of my future plans wouldn't work.
I'd have to show them.
I'd have to be there for them in any capacity.
"What'd you tell me…like last month?" Sonny asked. "You said Dame needed you. You know he needs you now. So…you left, and he was hurt that you left. He might have even been more scared. I don't know."
I nodded, having a seat next to him. "He breaks your mother's heart constantly—"
"Then let Mom handle it. She misses him, she can run into the city to bring him leftovers like she does, or—"
"He breaks my heart, too," I whispered. "You were right. I've always been harder on you, but I knew you could handle it. With your brother…he breaks under pressure, and I didn't want him hating me. I knew, that no matter how hard I pushed you, you'd always…I don't know. You and me are a lot alike." I rested my head on the wall. "Dame thinks he's Teflon…and I tried teaching him when he wanted to be involved. When he wanted to run with a crew, I let him. When he wanted to step back, I let him. I tried my hardest when it came to Dame, and I still do. No matter what I do, no matter how I act, I can't make him happy."
"Then…Dad, that sounds like Damion's problem. Not yours," Sonny said. "Damion's slowly learning how to make himself happy. He's learning how to grow up, and he's always done things in his own time. You explained yourself. Now, wait for it to sink in. Well, you went for him. I don't know when he'll come around."
"I just want you guys happy. And Dame's stuck at this place where he's just a little bit involved…And I know he doesn't want to be. If I have to let him go—"
"Since when do you let anything go?" Sonny spoke with his hands. "Since when do you give up? The Skip I know doesn't give up."
I sighed. "I'm your father. I'm Damion's father. I'm Kylie's father, and there's no limit to what I'd do…if it was what you guys wanted or truly needed." My heart felt like it was breaking again. All I wanted to do was hug Bella tight and cry my eyes out.
"Dad—" he placed his arms around me and hugged me tight "—go rest for a bit. Relax…Get your head together. Dame'll still be here when you wake up. I'll make sure."
"Yeah." Tears welled up in my eyes, and I left the embrace. "We'll have lunch on the beach, like Mom said before, and then...hopefully I can talk to Dame."
"All right." He nodded.
"I'm so fucking tired of this!" Bella was ranting, her little ass dragging Dame over by his ear.
"Ma, fuck!" He winced when she pushed him into his brother.
"First one to throw a punch is gonna have to deal with me." She was going to be the referee. "I refuse to believe you hate us." She stared up at Dame, eyes pleading. "Do you hate us?"
"Of course not!" he shouted.
"Dame—" Sonny started "—they didn't leave us. Okay? I know…things happen, and it reminds you of your childhood. You get scared, and there's nothing wrong with that. But Mom and Dad won't always be around."
"I know that," Dame whispered. "I just—" He shook his head. "I'm more upset he left you than us as a whole…I don't know."
"I wouldn't've, if I didn't think he could handle it," I explained. "Sonny knew, and I don't know what I'm allowed to tell you, what I can tell you, what you wanna hear or what you don't. But if it's not one thing with you, it's another." I looked to my wife. "Maybe it's time to back off."
"Over my dead body!" Bella was shouting but crying, too. "The three of youse can be so rotten to each other, but it ends now! And Damion's gonna promise to be at every Sunday dinner."
"I—" Dame was stuck and then he slumped his shoulders "—fine. All right."
"The prank war is over. I don't wanna hear shit about a ham unless it's in the oven!" Bella continued.
Damion and Sonny nodded their heads.
"And you—" she grabbed my chin, a growl escaping her before she pushed my face away "—Christ. You piss me off!"
She was adorable, wrangling all her grown boys, which made things fade—Bella's always doing that. I can be angry, sad, whatever, and she makes it better.
"You wanna spank me?" I asked with a smirk, trying to lighten the mood.
"Oh!" Dame and Sonny shouted and then silence fell upon us.
Honestly, I didn't know if our family would be okay, but seeing how Dame reacted to his mother gave me hope; I had faith. I hoped we would be just fine.
Like Bella said, we're currently in the middle—where there's time for things to work out, play out, and this is where the good stuff happens.
"Dad, I don't hate you guys," Damion whispered. "I was upset. And there were times when you weren't around, times when we needed you—"
"It wasn't by choice," I said.
"I'm not talking about you being locked-up, necessarily." Dame cleared his throat. "I thought you were being selfish, and you did hit a nerve…asking about my girl. But what happens in my relationship, Dad, that's my business. I need you to respect that. Back when I was with Amelia…everyone, including you, was in our relationship—I couldn't stand it. It bothers me even more now." Speaking of, Jordan took tentative steps to stand near Dame.
I put my hands up. "After the reaction I got yesterday, I'll never bring her up. You can, if you want to." I blew out a breath. "I'm always going to be your father. We're always going to be your family—no matter what—and I just want you to let us."
Dame had tears in his eyes as he shook his head. "It's been a long year—a lot of ups and downs for me. I don't know where to begin. I owe youse all apologies and explanations…" He stared at Jordan, his chin wrinkling. "There's so much you don't know—"
My wife had wide eyes when she grasped Dame's bicep, which shut him up…for the moment. "We know. We owe them to you, too—we owe you many apologies." Bella placed a hand on his cheek. "We know we weren't there when you needed us the most." That's where I thought she was wrong; Bella's always been a fantastic mother. "We didn't protect you—"
"I don't—I can't talk about that." Dame jerked his face away, and he couldn't look at Jordan either.
"But…" I reached to squeeze his hand "—we won't stop trying to make that up to you, and when you're ready…we're here to listen. I didn't mean what I said…I could never let you go." I stood up to face him. "We should go for that walk—talk." The epitome of calm now, I didn't know what could be said—what Damion wanted Jordan to know, nor did I want him to feel embarrassed. She rubbed his back, wearing a frown, supportive, but Jordan looked confused.
Damion placed his palms over his eyes, his shoulders shook a bit and then he composed himself. "This is like an episode of Full House—miraculously, there's a happy ending. However, it's not believable at all." He chuckled despite himself.
"It's not the end of anything," Bella said. "I'm sure you and your father will have this same argument again." She wiped under her eyes.
None of us truly knew what he was getting at, but he used to love all those old sitcoms on Nick-at-Nite when he was a kid.
"You'll always be our Dame." Bella lunged to hug him, which made Damion crack up.
"What's going on?" Kylie, Maggie, and Peto came from around the corner. "Oh, Mom…don't cry." And Kylie started. "I can't!" She hugged Damion's back, trying to claw for Bella.
"Babe…" Peto tried to soothe her. "I mean—" He took his hands back.
"Cut the shit!" Sonny shouted, pushing him into Kylie.
And I felt bad for Dame, being the middle of a Kylie-and-Bella Sandwich. But much like I would, he embraced it and laughed his ass off.
"We'll be okay," I whispered.
Sonny pulled Maggie back to his chest. "We will," he answered me, placing a kiss on his wife's cheek.
I looked to Dame's girl. "You should get in there." I pointed.
Jordan wore a hint of a smile while she grasped Damion's hand.
"Oh…I'm sorry, too." Kylie jumped at Jordan, and the two stumbled back.
"They fighting?" Sonny stood up to stare.
I smiled. "No…they're laughing."
Kylie was quick to leave Jordan, extending a hand to help her up. "I just—I have my period, and I—I don't know. I'm sorry."
"You can't blame everything on your period, Kylie!" Maggie put her two cents in.
"Shut up!" Kylie spat. "Mrs. ICryAlotBecauseI'mPregnant!"
Jordan looked even more confused than before as she wiped sand off her shorts. "It's cool." Her gaze whipped back to Dame, who was being hugged to death by Bella.
I stepped toward them, and I tried to pry my wife off of him.
"Get away!" she shouted at me, peppering Dame's face with kisses.
I put my palms up.
Every single one of us can be at each other's throats and then hug it out within the same five-minute span of time.
And it happens all the time.
We all have tempers.
We all get jealous of whatever will take someone away from us.
We all love hard, and we fight even harder.
No, I think we love the hardest.
I'm not sure, but I knew I was out of line before.
However, I've spent most of my life crossing lines or coming real close, and Sonny was correct.
I never let anything go, and I truly didn't want to have this discussion again.
"Lemme talk to you a second." I placed my hand on Dame's shoulder.
"Edward," Bella warned.
"I'm fine," I whispered. "I swear."
My wife—the love of my life—gave me the stink eye, but she knew. Bella knows just by looking at me how I feel. She backed away from Dame, not saying any more. Bella approached Maggie, asking for an ultrasound photo. A few of them scrambled away, except for Jordan and Damion.
"I'll be in soon." He kissed her hair. "It's fine…You know we're weird." And that was probably the best way he could have summed us up.
Jordan accepted that answer, rising to her toes to peck his lips.
I turned to give them privacy, but they were fast.
"It was a misunderstanding," Damion said, watching Jordan as she walked away. "You guys—you and Sonny both—can tell me anything and everything. It-it has nothing to do with not wanting to be involved," he whispered. "If it has to do with my family, I wanna know—"
I cleared my throat, jerking my head. "Walk with me."
Dame sighed, trailing along next to me.
"I'm…hoping to retire soon. Not completely, but step back." I waited for him to say something, but he didn't. "I hope…having more time will allow me to…be the husband your mother always deserved, be the father you and Kylie need—Sonny, too. I hope for so many things. And most of all, I hope you and me…we can be friends. We can…have some level of understanding. As much as you might hate it…Dame, you're just like me. We're one in the same."
"Sonny's like you."
I stopped walking to face him. "This has nothing to do with your brother. Yes, he has a lot of me in him, but you…Dame, it was touch and go with you. And your mother's right. It'd be so easy for you to do what I do, to be who I am, but you don't want that. And…I'm glad you don't." I pushed my hair back. "You're brilliant. You're a good person—the best person. You think I play favorites…but I don't. Just like you, Sonny, and Kylie are different people…I treat you all differently. I know what your sister needs, what your brother needs…and right now, baby, you need me." I reached to palm his cheek.
He wouldn't let me. "It's been a crazy year."
I nodded, my vision blurred by my tears. "I'm sorry for being an asshole before. It's no excuse, but I—"
"You're high," he said. "Or, coming down."
I didn't reply.
"I could always tell," he sighed, looking to the ocean. "How can you—how could you beat on Sonny and then snort a line?" He chuckled.
I smiled. "I've always…well, like I've always told you and your brother, 'Do as I say, not as I do.'" I pointed to myself. "I had a ten hour drive…" Shaking my head, my gaze fell back on him. "Will we ever get along? I wanna fix us, so you're around more, so—"
"It's hard, and it actually has little to do with…well, I don't know." He stopped talking, and we kept on walking a few paces while I waited for him to continue. "It would be easy…to embrace that side of myself…too easy, but I don't want it. That's—that'd be the easiest route to take in life." He eyes found me again. "The more I'm around you guys…the more I wanna—" He squeezed his fists tightly. "Then when I'm at school, I'm someone totally different. I'm normal."
I nodded because I understood it.
"Yet all of that has nothing to do with you, Mom, or anyone." He huffed a breath. "I decided a while ago that I wouldn't run…from being a Cullen anymore. You know…? So, I may not be like Sonny—"
"No one is asking you to!" I couldn't help but shout that. "I'm sorry for getting loud."
"I'm me, and I still have a few quirks to work out." He shrugged. "I thought you just skipped out, though…I didn't know what your plans were. I want to be in the know."
"There's a lot you can't know—"
"But if it concerns us as a family, I should know, and I wanna know, Dad." Him calling me that had me feeling weepy.
I squeezed his shoulder. "Thank you."
"For what?"
I shook my head, smiling. "Giving me an inch. I love you."
He paused. "Yeah . . . I love you, too."
I pulled him into my arms for a hug. "I didn't mean what I said before." I rocked us, closing my eyes and pretending—despite his large form within the embrace—that he was six years old with an uneven smile, innocent eyes alight with love and admiration. "I have so many regrets," I admitted as tears trailed down my cheeks. "But I promise…I'll be here. I won't let you get away. Again, Mom was right. We didn't—we didn't protect you. But we love you so much. I love you with everything that I am, and I swear to Christ, Damion. I'm never leaving you again…It took a while for me to learn—for me to see what's most important."
I pulled away, placing my palms to my eyes. "Family. You—Mom, Kylie, Sonny—you guys are most important. All my life…I was too busy, doing this or that, and I promise to make that up to you."
Damion swallowed and his eyes looked a bit watery. "Cocaine's one helluva drug."
I sucked my teeth, and a chuckle escaped through my tears. "Yeah…"
"Know that I don't keep my distance because of you guys. It's because of me. I don't hate youse." He sniffled. "I don't. I've always—always loved you guys."
I nodded, gathering him into my arms again. "I want you to know me, and I wanna know you. Like you have lunches with Sonny, I hope we can do that..." I let go of him. "I hope we can get together like we started to, that we keep at it and chill."
He agreed as we turned to walk back to the hotel. "I'd like that."
"Good." I cleared my throat.
"It felt awesome…doing this, stepping up for Sonny when he needed me. If you ever need me, Dad—"
"Okay." I rasped. "And if you ever need me, you know where I'll be."
"Somewhere between Mom's legs." That sarcastic ass chuckled.
I grinned. "Most likely, but that doesn't make me unavailable."
We both laughed.
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