December
"No, you have to pick out wrapping paper."
Beside her, Frank raised an eyebrow. "What's it matter? It'll just get torn up anyway?"
Karen rolled her eyes and nodded emphatically at the large display in front of them, "Because the wrapping paper is half the fun. Now pick one."
"Yes, ma'am," he replied with a quiet chuckle, tightening the hold he had on her waist before reaching out and picking a roll at random.
"That's mostly white. The present will show through."
"Are you sure you don't just want to pick it out, beautiful Karen?"
She bumped him gently with her shoulder, careful of his recently healed ribs, and smiled, "Yes, now pick a better one."
He looked at her with a raised eyebrow and she just fixed him with one in return. She stared him down until a his mouth quirked up in a smirk and he looked at her with the stare that made her toes tingle, that said he loved her and she was amazing and he was taking her to bed as soon as they got back to her apartment.
With the snow coming down outside she'd had walking around in it before it got dirty and slushy in mind, but that could be put off. Getting back to the apartment sounded much better.
Closing the small space between them, she pressed a kiss to his mouth, one that lasted just long enough that she could taste the black coffee on his tongue and feel his fingers tighten on her waist. Pulling away, she nodded to the wrapping paper again. "Clock's ticking, Marine. The store closes in fifteen minutes."
He grumbled under his breath.
As he actually put some thought into his choice, she readjusted the box under her arm. She had no idea which child out there was going to receive the present picked out for Lisa Castle by her father, but she hoped that some of the love went along with it. It was a corny sentiment but not one she could banish from her mind as she walked hand-in-hand around the toy store with Frank, watching him choose presents his children would've liked to then give to charity.
Grabbing a roll with green and red stripes, he didn't give her the option of approving it before turning and heading for the checkout. Rolling her eyes, she just grabbed a thing of tape and followed after him. She could already tell he was going to be a horrible present-wrapper.
As they left the store, he hunched his shoulders against the cold and noted, "I miss the desert."
Smirking slightly, she leaned more heavily against him.
That night she woke up to Bully twitching at her feet. Immediately, she felt the lack of heat at her back. Peeking an eye open, she looked across the apartment to find him. He was where he'd been the night before.
After a week of being out of commission—it was supposed to have been two because of his cracked ribs, but Frank Castle was nothing if not stubborn—he'd been gone for two weeks, making up for lost time he'd said. Given what she heard about when she'd gotten to work that morning, it was actually taking down the remnants of the sex traffickers she'd exposed who'd gone underground. She doubted any more of the actually Ukrainians would be coming stateside for a while.
Waiting for some contacts to get back to her, she'd been sitting on the couch painting her toenails of all things when he walked through the door, clean, bruised, and so obviously tired. But not too tired. Ever since they'd gotten to that point, he was almost religious about taking her to bed when he'd been gone for more than the wee hours of the morning. Not a bit of her minded.
She'd woken up alone around three and after some bleary searching had found him leaning against the couch and staring up at the little Christmas tree that hadn't been there when he left. Then she'd let him be. She couldn't see his face, but she could just tell in her stomach that she should stay in bed. Not tonight.
Rummaging around on the floor with one hand, she found a shirt and pulled it over her head. The line between what were her pajamas and Frank's shirts had blurred dramatically in the last few months. Tugging on the thermal sleeves until her hands poked out the cuffs, she silently walked over and folded down onto the floor beside him after reheating herself a mug of old coffee.
The Christmas tree was just a tiny little thing from the drugstore down the street that fit on the counter and would probably be dead by February, but it was more than she'd had the year before when she came home from Matt telling her he was Daredevil and it was his fault she'd been kidnapped by ninjas. Her life was more than it had been a year ago.
She'd always been a fan of the multicolored lights and the majority of the string that hadn't fit on the tree was wound around its base. There hadn't really been much room for ornaments either, except the skull one that Foggy had given her early as a joke and a few generic others.
The two wrapped presents beside it were almost bigger than it was. Instead of names on the tags attached to them, they said Girl and Boy Ages 8-10.
Looking up at the lit up tree, she wondered which he was looking at, the tree or the presents. As they walked around the stores when she got home from work, he'd talked about his family's Christmases, about trees and stockings and movies and Santa. She didn't think that was going to happen at the moment. As she sat down and leaned against him, his arm came up to wrap around her shoulders. Silently, she rested her head against his shoulder.
She knew the day had hit him like a ton of bricks, or maybe a bullet to the head in his case. He hadn't really been in a frame of mind the year before to think about Christmas and what it meant…or really anything other than the fact his family was dead and he wasn't, that there were men out there responsible and his being alive might as well mean something.
She'd spent enough nights telling him 'not tonight' and sobbing in his arms after it was tonight that there was no way she'd begrudge him a few staring at the Christmas tree because it wasn't the one he last remembered. That…and he was happier. She'd never actually asked, but she knew he was happier than he'd been a year ago, even six or eight months ago.
Holy shit, so was she. Karen was sitting on the floor with lukewarm coffee and her Frank who was truly going through his first Christmas without his murdered family. It was still better. She was just content compared to a year ago when she was kidnapped by ninjas and came home to find Frank Castle sitting on her fire escape.
Since August, she'd had the need to ask Ben if this was how he'd done it, stayed sane while doing what they did for decades. If having his wife was what kept the fear, loneliness, and bone deep exhaustion away enough that the need for truth won every time without fail.
Warmth seeping into her, having the stupid vision of Ben looking at her with the expression that said she knew the answer, she was close to asleep when the rumble of Frank's voice woke her back up.
"I love you."
She blinked up at him but he hadn't looked away from the tree. She knew that. She'd known for months, felt it in her stomach and when he looked at her with the stare that made her toes tingle. He'd never said it, though. Uncomfortable trying to psychoanalyze him, she hadn't really thought that much into why. Deep in her stomach, she knew that she wasn't some kind of replacement for the family he'd lost. She wasn't a substitute. She'd just come after. She wasn't worried about that.
"I love you, too."
He pressed a kiss to the top of her head and squeezed her shoulders.
"Why did you come back, Frank?" The question was one she'd wondered about for almost a year, but she hadn't actually taken the time to ask. Feeling him shift to look down at her, she added, "After Valentine's Day, why did you come back every week?"
"I was worried, about you and the look on your face when you told me 'not tonight'. And I got lonely." He shrugged against her, "I hadn't thought that was going to be a problem."
She rolled her eyes slightly and said with a smile, "You're not a monster, Frank."
"No, ma'am. Not tonight." The corner of his mouth quirked up. "Not with you beside me, beautiful Karen."
He was being purposely cliché and she swatted at his leg, "You hush. You sound like Foggy."
"Better Nelson than Red." Getting somewhat serious again, he pulled her up onto his lap and noted, "No, I'm just the asshole making you sit on the cold floor in the middle of the night because my head won't get quiet."
"I don't mind," she said with a shrug. "Not with you beside me, beautiful Frank."
"Okay, now you hush. That shit's not going to stick."
Karen just laughed as his arms wrapped around her, he stole a drink of her coffee, and they both went back to silently staring up at the Christmas tree as the snow came down harder outside.
A/N (revision edition): And thus do I stand tall upon the Kastle I have built!
Okay then, I feel much better about this now. I feel like I still could've stopped at August, but the chapters after have more purpose now, so yay. Much more well-rounded now, I think. I'm happier with it, at least. :)
Anyway, thanks so much for reading, review if the desire takes you, and I hope you've enjoyed! :)