Edward's POV

I ran silently beside Bella through the forest, away from any observant humans, until we slowed to a stop at the edge of the trees nearest the water. If we continued, we'd have to swim across the Juan De Fuca Strait to reach Canada. It was an easy swim for us, of course, and I'd gladly have done it if that was what Bella wanted. Apparently, though, the approximately thirty-mile run had put enough distance between her and Charlie's place for her to feel comfortable stopping.

Bella was breathing heavy, unnecessary breaths as she collapsed, knees drawn up to her chest and face in her hands. She was trembling, trying to get herself under control. I cursed the fates for the heartbreak she was going through, especially when I knew it wasn't necessary. I knew she needed time to wade through her emotions before I tried to help, though, so instead of talking, I took a seat beside her and pulled her onto my lap, cradling her gently in my arms. She buried her face in my chest, sobbing tearlessly. With one hand, I kept her tight against me, and I used the other to softly stroke her hair over and over in a manner I hoped was soothing.

Eventually, her cries quieted, and she took a final, shuddering breath, raising eyes full of sadness and resignation to meet mine. When she spoke, it was broken and quiet enough that I had to work to hear it.

"I hurt her."

I turned her quickly to face me, cupping her face in my hands so she had to look at me. "You didn't, love." Stalling her argument with a thumb gently over her lips, I explained, "I was able to hear Jacob's thoughts clearly for several minutes, and he told me Lizzie was just fine. She was startled by your movement, Bella, that's all."

"But I squeezed," Bella moaned. "When you told me Charlie was almost home, I knew my time with her was over, and for a moment, I just wanted to hold her to me, but then she cried out, and I realized I'd squeezed her. I couldn't face anyone. I couldn't look at my sweet baby, knowing I'd hurt her...so I ran."

My poor Bella.

Brushing light kisses over her forehead, cheeks, nose, and finally, her lips, I whispered reassurances, promising that Jacob had said Lizzie was okay. She hadn't hurt her daughter in the slightest.

"But I could have," she whispered, her voice pained. She jumped up from my lap, beginning to pace. "I can't do this. I have to leave. Staying in Lizzie's life is only going to bring danger to her. She'll always be in danger from me or others like us. She deserves to have a normal life, without having to live in fear for her life."

Oh no. I couldn't let Bella do to herself and Lizzie what I'd done to the two of us. I'd thought I was doing the right thing. I'd thought I was protecting her by keeping her from the danger that not only I presented, but the Jameses, Victorias, and Laurents of my world—not to mention the Volturi. Instead, I'd left her to fend for herself in a world she was already involved in, whether I'd liked it or not, and in the process, I'd torn the two of us apart. Neither of us had been better off without the other; in fact, Bella had suffered more without me than she ever would have if I'd been there.

Not wanting to let her continue with this line of thinking, I quickly made my way over to her. She'd stopped moving and was staring out over the water, looking damn near defeated. Wrapping my arms around her, I tugged her back against my chest, taking a moment to revel in the fact that we fit so perfectly now, her head tucked under my chin.

"Do you remember what happened two years ago, love?" I finally asked her quietly, hating to bring up such a raw topic for both of us, but knowing I had no other choice.

She was quiet for a long time before whispering, "You left."

"Right." I paused, taking a deep breath before continuing. "I'd spent eighty-seven years thinking of myself as a monster because of what I was. I truly believed that no good could come to you from being around me. No matter how good my control was, one day, I would hurt you—which was my biggest fear. And if not me, then someone in my family, or someone else like James, who you never would've come across if it hadn't been for me."

She was still, quiet, listening to me speak, so I continued. "Of course, your physical safety was only one of the reasons I told myself for leaving. I was determined that you be allowed to experience all the joys of life as a human, and I let nothing and no one sway me from that decision. No matter that Alice told me repeatedly that you could have amazing experiences in this life. I wanted you to grow old with someone you loved, to have a husband with whom you had children born out of love. I thought you would find someone that you could love and who would love you like you deserved to be loved."

Needing her to look into my eyes to see the truth, I slid my hands up to Bella's shoulders and turned her so she was facing me. The heartbreak and war going on in her head showed clearly in not only her eyes, but every part of her being. Her head was bowed, her shoulders hunched, and regret and defeat poured out of her very soul.

"Bella, love, please look at me."

I waited until she looked up at me, pain etched on her features.

"I was wrong. For a long time, I didn't realize that. I didn't realize that you loved me as I loved you. I didn't realize that no one else would ever be able to love you like I love you—like I will always love you. I've had a lot of time to think since I came back to Forks, and one of the things I know now is yes, there might've been a few bumps and bruises along the way, because as a human, you were fragile, but nothing I would've ever been truly capable of doing would've hurt you more than leaving you did. I didn't believe—even with everything my family tried to tell me—that my love for you would be enough to keep me from hurting you like I thought I would end up doing.

"I didn't believe Carlisle, with his knowledge and experience, nor Alice with her gift of seeing the future. I didn't believe Emmett, who loves with every fiber of his being and understands just how powerful love can be. Instead, I let my fears rule my decisions—my fear of the future, of the unknown—and I left you. It will forever be the single biggest regret of my existence."

I could see that my words were beginning to penetrate the wall of shame, fear, and regret that she'd put up, so I continued.

"Isabella, none of us know how the future will play out—even though Alice gets pretty damn close. But I do know that leaving your daughter—leaving Lizzie—would be something you regret for the rest of your life and something you would never get over. Human lives are fragile things, in the company of vampires or not. And yes, Charlie would love her like he loves you, but no one will ever love her as much as you do. That's a powerful love, sweetheart. One that can overcome any obstacle you might face.

"If we raise Lizzie, will things be perfect? No, I'm sure they won't be. She won't have a normal upbringing. She'll have to keep the secret of what we are for the rest of her life. But I guarantee she'll be loved more by not only the two of us, but all of her aunts and uncles, Grandpa Charlie, as well as Grandma Esme and Grandpa Carlisle. Her life will be so full of love and experiences, she won't miss having a normal life."

Bella sagged against me, all the fight gone. "We would have to tell Charlie—about me, your family. I couldn't just show up and take her. I couldn't do that to him."

"Mmm, yes, you're right," I agreed. "He would have to be let in on the secret. The pack would protect him while we were gone, and if he knows everything, visiting would be easy."

"Having a human baby with us would mean we have to be a little more careful about where we live," she mumbled with a sigh. "We might not feel the cold of the Alaskan wilderness, but she would."

I chuckled, knowing she was trying to think of every last worry and excuse. "Yes," I agreed again. "But she would never want for anything in regards to material things, including clothes to keep her warm. I'm sure Alice is already planning all their future shopping trips."

Bella rolled her eyes, but smiled before sobering once more. "Sending her to school would be hard, at least until she's old enough to keep all the vampire stuff to herself. She won't get that socialization, having to stay at home all the time."

"Think of the education she'll receive, what with all the centuries of knowledge at her disposal. She'll learn more from our family than from any school she'll ever attend. And the field trips! Imagine being able to take her to China to learn about the history of the Great Wall and the Forbidden City, or taking her to Egypt to see the pyramids, or Germany and the remains of the Berlin Wall. Yes, all of that she can read about in the history books, but seeing it? It's a whole different world."

Finally, a laugh broke through, and Bella looked up at me, her eyes wide. "I really didn't hurt her?"

I shook my head. "You really didn't, love." I leaned down to brush her lips with mine. "She recognized you, did you know that?"

"You could read her mind?" she gasped.

Smiling lovingly down at her, I nodded. "She was more like Charlie than you, of course, in that regard. It was just little snatches, not nearly as easy to read as a normal human, and mainly colors, shapes, and faces. But your face flashed into her mind over and over again when you picked up her and held her. And Jasper said he could feel her emotions. When you picked her up, she felt happy and comfortable. Loved."

Bella looked awestruck, like she hadn't even thought that was possible. I held back my laughter as her jaw dropped; she looked like a fish as she opened and closed her mouth, trying to figure out what she wanted to say.

"Are you ready to go back now?" I asked, grinning. "We should probably talk to the family some. I think some decisions need to be made."

Bella threw herself into my arms and kissed me, her hands holding me close. "Thank you," she murmured against my lips. "Thank you for coming back to me and for giving me my daughter back. I love you, Edward."

"Always, Isabella." I kissed her once more before tugging her hand. "Let's go home, love."