I had a really good session with Dr. Brandon today.
I brought up some issues I had swirling in my head, like my realization of how empty my life had become.
"Dr. Brandon…I realized something the last time you and Bella were at my home. I looked around, seeing how empty my house was becoming, and it made me realize how much that was a reflection of my life. I have my family and I have work, but that's it. I have no real friends, I have no hobbies, I have no one special to share my life with. I feel very much like my life has become the manifestation of everything I felt as a child and…and I don't like it. I want it to be different. I want to feel happy and fulfilled…I want people in my life. I'm tired of being alone."
Dr. Brandon sat there, smiling as she looked at me.
"Edward," she started, her voice soft. "I'm very proud of you. What you just told me…that's a huge breakthrough for you to not only realize what your life has become, but to voice it and acknowledge it and want to change it…that is very, very good."
Dr. Brandon's reassurance and pride in what I brought up today, went a long way for boosting my confidence, and made me really feel like I can make the necessary changes in my home and my life so that I can be happy.
We spent the rest of the session delving deeper into the issues I brought up, and in the end, I felt much better about bringing them up and discussing them. It was the first time I really actively brought up issues I was having and voiced my concerns instead of burying them inside myself and compensating with buying things. It felt good.
As the session wound down, Dr. Brandon told me to think about what I had brought up today, and to think about the changes I needed and wanted to make so that I could have the life I wanted, and what things I thought would hold me back from achieving it. We would discuss those things next week.
After I left my session with Dr. Brandon, I headed over to the grocery store to do a bit of shopping since my kitchen was relatively empty. Perhaps I shouldn't have, because as I walked through the produce section, I ran into Bella. She was smiling and happy and laughing…and distinctly close to another man in what seemed to me was almost a romantic embrace.
My heart broke at the sight. It made me thing that everything I was telling myself…that maybe there really was a chance that she felt for me what I felt for her…that it was all wrong, that I was just another client, some poor sap who had issues and that she was just a kind woman who was understanding of everyone and whatever issues they may have.
I was so lost in my thoughts I didn't even see where I was going as I crashed my shopping cart into a display of apples, which much to my dismay, garnered Bella's attention.
She and her man-friend made their way over to me, and I braced myself as she introduced us, waiting for the word…be it husband or boyfriend…that would completely crush me all together…but it never came.
"Edward," Bella said, her voice cheery and a noticeable blush on her face. "This is my cousin Seth. He's a bit of a pervert…he keeps talking about the kinky proclivities of the fruit and vegetables. Apparently the kiwis are into BDSM and the okra likes sex in public."
I couldn't help but bust out laughing, not only from the hilarity of what she said, but out of the relief of knowing this man was family. Bella and I chatted for a few more minutes before she and Seth went on their way, but it was what she whispered in my ear as she walked away that had me giddy and really looking forward to her coming over my house again.
"I'll see you Wednesday Edward," she told me. "And this time, no pizza…I'll take care of dinner this time."
She didn't even give me a chance to respond, just smiled and walked away. I smiled back and nodded, all the while trying to keep my dick under control, her soft whisper and the feel of her breath along my neck driving me wild and causing all sorts of fantasies to fly through my mind. I was definitely looking forward to Wednesday.