A/N: Okay, so a funny thing happened on the way to posting chapter 3 of this.
It grew.
Um, a lot.
As in, it became nearly as long as the entire story was originally drafted (and, I swear, thought to be finished except for the final tweaking!). *insert face-palm emoticon here*
Sigh.
So, while God knows you've hung in there with me through really long chapters before, over 7,000 words felt a bit excessive, even for me. :) Plus, as I mentioned before, this one is an emotional piece and I don't want that to get lost in sheer volume.
Therefore, what was to have been a one-shot that became a three-shot is now going to be a five-shot.
I'm sorry my daily posting intention didn't pan out. RL, fighting a cold and a story that refused to feel completed until now conspired to nix that plan. I probably shouldn't tempt the universe into messing with me on this, but the revised plan is to have all the rest up by sometime Sunday morning my time. Sooner, if I can pull it off.
Oh, and the rating will bump up to M with the next chapter and we'll really need that rating by the last one. ;)
In case you're interested, I still have not watched anything beyond the premiere of Season 11. I'm holding out until I get all of this up ... and maybe beyond that. I'll probably get around to watching it, but NCIS without Ziva is just not that appealing to me.
I'm still responding to reviews and I will get to you all individually. In the meantime, here's a special shout-out to all of you who have put this in your favorites and on alert. xoxoxo Thanks to all of you reading this for joining me on my latest journey with Ziva and Gibbs. =)
About twelve hours later …
DiNozzo had left his car parked at the naval airstrip and insisted on giving Ziva a ride when they landed back in D.C. She spent most of the drive with her head back against the seat and her eyes closed, only opening them when she sensed that the car was not headed to the apartment she hadn't given up yet.
She started to object when she realized they were driving straight to their team leader's house, but Tony just cut her off.
"I know you. Nothing good will come of you putting this off – you'll probably even convince yourself it's a mistake and disappear on us again."
She didn't even try to dispute that possibility.
After all, he wasn't wrong.
In fact, she still had not accepted her badge back in order to leave that option completely open.
Well, that and maybe something to do with a certain Rule 12.
Tony pulled up in front of Gibbs' house and parked. He looked at his passenger who was staring out her side window as though her life depended on what she saw.
In some ways, it felt as though it did.
"But I need a shower, some sleep, some time to …" Her protests trailed off.
Time to what, exactly?
"Look, his truck's not here and McGee said he was still at the Navy Yard when I sent him a text to let him know we landed."
Her head whipped around to him.
"Does Gibbs know I am back?" she asked tightly.
"He knows," he admitted, unwilling to lie to her. "But he doesn't know anything else, not even where you are right now. Go inside, grab a shower, change into the clothes I know you have in that overnight bag and drink his bourbon while you wait for him."
His tone was supportive, but he was clearly unwilling to aid and abet her in climbing down off this particular hook.
"Tony –"
"Ziva. Do you really want to live your life wondering if this one step is all it would have taken to get what you want?"
"I am scared, Tony," Ziva whispered. Her voice strengthened to a murmur. "And I am not convinced you are right about … the way Gibbs feels about me."
"Look, if I'm wrong, I'll put you on the first plane back to Israel or wherever you want to go, all right?" He laid a comforting hand on the back of hers and squeezed. "After I kick his ass for being an idiot."
Despite everything, her lips twitched a little at that mental image.
Finally, Ziva turned to Tony with a slightly worried, but affectionate smile.
"Thank you."
"For what?"
"For being my friend." She squeezed his hand back, then narrowed her eyes at him in that way of hers. "Even if you are seriously pushing the bounds of our friendship here."
"You'd do the same for me, sweetcheeks," he grinned at her as only Tony DiNozzo could do.
She actually chuckled at that.
Then, after giving him a quick, unexpected hug which he returned, she opened her door and made to get out. She stopped in mid-movement with her face turned away from him to ask falteringly, "What if I need to leave? I do not have my car."
And that suddenly left her feeling even more vulnerable.
"Start walking and call me. I'll pick you up," he said immediately. "But I don't think I'm gonna need to."
Tony's gut started poking at him and he gave her the eye.
"Hey, look at me."
He waited until she'd done as he'd directed.
"Can I trust you not to take off before he gets home or do I need to sit here?"
A ghost of a smile crossed her lips. Tony in his protective, gladiator role was formidable.
And endearing.
"I will stay."
"Promise?" he persisted with his head tilted and eyes squinted just slightly as he did when he was suspicious and in pursuit of an answer.
"I promise," she returned quietly. A shadow moved through her eyes and her voice grew pensive. "After all, I have come this far …"
She released a sigh and looked longingly back toward the darkened house.
With one last deep breath, she left the vehicle and stepped out into the early evening light.
Ziva slowly entered Gibbs' house, closing the door quietly behind her. The silence was the deafening kind that told her no one else was here. She paused just to close her eyes and inhale deeply for a minute, breathing in the essence of him that permeated his home.
Because she was tired and gritty, she decided to act on Tony's advice and take a quick shower. She went upstairs to use the bathroom that was not connected to Gibbs' bedroom.
Although, she couldn't stop herself from lingering for a moment at the doorway to his room, allowing herself a little wishful thinking … just a little.
Despite her nerves about being caught unawares and vulnerable if he came home to unexpectedly find her naked and in his shower, she stood there until the water ran cold, trying unsuccessfully to quiet her mind.
She had a carry-on bag with her that held her toiletries and a few items of clothing. After washing her hair and her body, she stepped out to dry off and dressed in comfortable black pants and a soft, lightly-fitted white shirt that buttoned up the front.
To give herself a little boost of confidence because it felt slightly daring and sexy, she left it unbuttoned just enough that the valley between her breasts peeked out.
She wasn't sure whether to be relieved or disappointed when she discovered Gibbs wasn't home yet when she made her way downstairs in the silent-as-a-tomb house. She got a glass of water from the kitchen and impulsively grabbed an extra glass for bourbon. She told herself she should probably eat something, but her stomach was tied in too many knots for that.
He probably didn't have much food on hand, anyway.
In the basement, she put her bag on the floor out of the way. She'd carried it down with her, wanting it nearby in case she needed to make a quick exit. Twilight was falling, so she turned on a low light over his work bench, poured herself just a splash of bourbon and drank it in one shot. The fiery burn down her throat was a welcome distraction from her trepidation and the thoughts churning in her mind that started with What if … ? and ended with Why on earth did I allow Tony to talk me into this?
Ziva was exhausted from the trip, from the nearly frantic pace of her time in Israel, from the emotional rollercoaster she'd been riding for days, and from the poor sleep she'd had for too many nights to count. When Gibbs still hadn't come home after a while, she took the blankets they'd both come to think of as hers from the closet in the basement and made herself a bed under the makeshift table on which he was working on his latest project, the same one that had been there the last night she'd been here.
It made her feel more protected to be underneath the wood, and it reminded her of lying under the skeleton of the boat he'd left unfinished when he'd hightailed it abruptly to Mexico, that time she'd waited for him to come back to save her.
And he had.
Thinking back to that time, hugging that warmth to her heart, Ziva allowed herself to slip into sleep.
