Face the Strange: Part Three
A/N Updaaaaate! Hooray! I had so much fun working on this one. But then I got stuck, and had to pester GutterKitty for inspiration. And even just talking with her briefly helped get my brain going again, so thankyou!
(Also an update: the Bowie exhibition was freaking mindblowing and left me feeling inspired and awed and lost all at once).
"What's wrong, love?"
It was a day for celebration, not tears. Yet his wife rubbed at her eyes as if denying them relief and went about fixing her hair. "Nothing," she told him. "I'm fine."
"Hmm, and yet why don't I believe you?" He abandoned his attempts at fitting the corsage to his lapel – it looked absurd anyway – and stood behind her at the mirror. She was divine on any occasion but especially barely dressed as she was. A towel wrapped hastily around her showed far too much skin to count as clothing. He would have been enjoying it, that was, if not for the tension in her frame and the slight shake to her fingers. He stilled her hand and brought it up to his lips for a kiss. "Sarah. What's the matter?"
Her reflection quivered. "Keel should be here for this. They loved each other so much." Sarah's voice was hard, forced that way, to keep from breaking. He knew her well. "But she's not." She toyed idly with a scattering of hairpins. "And it's my fault. It doesn't matter how many years it's been; I can't forget that it's my fault."
"Oh, love." He bent and kissed her cheek, making eye contact in the mirror. He hated the way she burdened herself. "Wick's forgiven you. And so have Tork and Rade and Brax. Shouldn't that be enough to let you forgive yourself?"
She shook her head against his lips. "She died saving me." Her eyes were glistening in the mirror. "You nearly died, saving me. And Lina –"
"Lina did what she wanted to do," he interrupted before that guilt train could take its course. "That's how she's always behaved. It's far too late to change her or anything that's happened, so why torture yourself now? On today, of all days?"
Her hand pulled him close; she leant into his hips and his arm around her shoulder. "She looks older than you, now." Her sigh was borne of a guilt stretched out for decades.
"And yet no older than Wick, precious, which is what truly counts. She won't outlive him this way."
"I know she's probably happy with the choices she made. I just…it's hard not to see the faces of people you've let down sometimes; you know?"
"Of course I do, pet." He kissed her hair. "You know I do."
That particular future memory was loaded with enough intrigue to make her head spin. Sarah sat beside Wick on the floor, his head resting on her shoulder. His was a mournful silence, contemplative and forlorn. His cheekbone dug painfully into her but she allowed him the small comfort of leaning into a friend. Resurfacing from the vision, she laid a hand on his arm but said nothing. Would Tork and the other cousins know what had happened to Keel? Would her whole family have felt her death the way Wick had? She was relieved to be distracted by a sound from the mirror that lay beside her. Relieved until she picked it up and peered into the glass.
Luka was being sealed into a box, brick by brick. The sound had been his scream.
There was no visible force creating the small prison, yet layer by layer bricks were building themselves up around him. He didn't seem able to move, tears streaking the dirt on his face. Brynn was crouched beside him. He would have seemed unflappable if she hadn't noticed that his hands were cut and scratched, probably from trying to pull the bricks apart. Sarah concentrated hard and listened for their voices.
"I can't do it!"
"Yes you can. You've done everything else. I can't stop the bricks, boy. You need to do it yourself."
"I can't!"
"You're panicking. That won't get you anywhere."
"But – I won't be able to breathe –"
The gilded handle was probably going to leave an imprint in her skin, the way Sarah was gripping the mirror. She licked her dry lips, unable to move as she felt Wick stir beside her and ask what was wrong. "Remind him what I said," she whispered. "Remind him how smart he is."
She could have sworn Brynn heard her. He laid a hand against the ever-growing brick wall and spoke more quietly to the boy.
"What did the Goblin Queen tell you to do?"
"She – she said to call her Sarah."
"And what did Sarah tell you to do?"
"To…to think things through."
"And what are you doing, right now?"
"…I just want to go home…"
"Luka, what are you doing? Are you thinking or are you panicking?"
"I'm…I'm panicking."
"Exactly. And that's why the bricks are moving faster. Stop. Breathe."
"Okay."
"Good. Now just think about this. Forget the bricks. All you have to do is answer the riddle and you'll be free."
"Just…just answer the riddle?"
"That's what I said. So think. Think hard."
And he did, that clever boy. He closed his eyes against the rising walls and murmured to himself. Sarah was glued to the scene, mouth forming silent encouragement. The bricks slowed gradually while he thought, finally coming to a stop as Luka cried the answer triumphantly. Sarah let out a cheer that seemed to echo through the Labyrinth; Brynn looked searchingly around for her while the boy beamed proudly. Clambering over the brick walls looked a challenge: Luka wasn't tall enough to climb out. To her complete surprise, Sarah watched as Brynn leant over and carefully lifted the boy out before proceeding to check him over for scratches. It was oddly paternal and made her smile, even if the Fae did stand quickly and suggest gruffly that they move on.
"He's doing well I take it?" Wick asked softly beside her, moving to have a look in the mirror.
"He is," she replied hesitantly. "I just don't know what's coming up next, which worries me." Maybe I could just stop in and walk with him for a bit.
"You can't do anymore for him," Wick said warningly, as if reading her thoughts. "The goblins won't tolerate you openly helping a runner."
She exhaled loudly and knocked a shoulder against his. "Who said I was going to help him?"
"It's written all over your face, Sarah. You're a bleeding heart."
"That's not a bad thing, is it?"
"It is if you don't learn to draw a line," said the voice of the silver Fae. She'd appeared soundlessly before them with a hard gaze on Sarah. "The principle of balancing emotion in your ruling is one matter, but losing all pretence and assisting the humans will lose you points with the hordes."
"Fine, I'll leave the eleven-year-old kid on his own with Brynn the stone man!" Sarah exclaimed defensively.
"They seem to be doing well as a team," Wick told her soothingly while the Fae simply shook her head.
"It's just hard not to want to protect my own," Sarah sighed.
"Now that is a sentiment I can understand," said the Fae, taking a seat gracefully with them.
"Really?" Sarah replied in surprise.
"Of course. You forget our reasons for being so unforgiving when it comes to the Labyrinth and the hordes." She toyed with one of her many bracelets, studying it with a far-away expression. "I've seen what the goblins are capable of when out of control, and have no wish to see it again. We are entrusting you with the safety of the Domain, Miss Williams. If you can't set aside your need to save every child outright, you will spoil the balance and endanger us all. Your reign will end no differently than Jareth's did." Her eyes scanned the room and settled on a Fae amidst the Councillors. He looked her male counterpart, draped in navy to her silver. "My brother Dovail is hot-headed and commanding, and you may think us uncaring creatures, but I do care for him, and I would not wish to see him torn apart for your mistakes."
The reality of her situation settled like a dreadful weight on her shoulders. The room of stone and marble felt claustrophobic and stifling, her vision blurring and skin prickling. "I need some air," she muttered, getting to her shaky feet and heading for the door. Outside in the hall, she gulped deep breaths of air and hugged herself tightly. "I would not wish to see him torn apart for your mistakes." She hadn't considered what would happen beyond getting Luka through the Labyrinth. They expected her to stay and actually be the Goblin Queen…she'd be responsible for keeping them in line so they didn't kill everyone. A very strong urge to run and hide overcame her but she forced it down.
"They listened to you today, didn't they?" she said to herself. "Who's to say you haven't got it under control for good?"
But then on the heels of that thought: they want to me stay here. They want me. To stay. Here.The urge to run suddenly welled up alongside the desire to vomit. What was she going to do, settle down in that big empty castle and sit on that throne for the next sixty years? Or a hundred, or more, given that she had no idea what Jareth's transference had done to her. What about her life in the Above? What about the library and her father and siblings and her friend Vicki and that crazy good coffee from Joe's Diner and going out on Saturday nights and –
It was too much. They couldn't do this to her. They couldn't just stick a crown on her head and tell her she had no say in the matter. Didn't anybody care what she wanted for a future? They argued over whether she should be Goblin Queen as if it were a reward, as if it meant she deserved it. Didn't she deserve a freaking break after saving them all from a murderous rebellion?
And what about Jareth, banished to her old world – what the hell was happening to him right now? He could be hurt and starving and helpless in a place where he stood out like a sore thumb. What would people make of him? There'd been a final shred of secret hope she'd been harbouring, too: what if she returned Above and went looking for him? It could take years, but she had them. She had his years. Plenty of time to search the world for the man she loved.
But not if she was trapped on a throne Underground.
It was a suffocating thought that couldn't be solved by running away. But the hallway was closing in on her, and just inside the Chambers she could hear the further arguments of the Fae, and Wick's voice calling as he came looking for her, and goddammit all if Sarah didn't just up and run off anyway.
She wasn't there.
Councillors closed in on him, demanding an explanation, judging and accusing and arguing though he hadn't yet said a word. The Chambers reminded him of Lina's trial and his own, of the uproar as one human woman had saved his life and the disdain thrown at a princess in love with an Elf. Voices clamoured for attention; Lina's attempts at warding them off did little; the absence of his magic was magnified a hundredfold now that he was back in the Domain. But none of it mattered because she wasn't there. And she had been, just minutes ago, according to Wick.
"You can't just return with one of the Banished as if his exile were of no meaning, Lina El'Maven." That was Ezra's voice, full of nothing and fierce for it. "You aren't Queen yet."
"You know that doesn't matter," Lina replied coldly, hand still tucked into the crook of his elbow. "I will be and I'm Pardoning him."
"You think to have your own way like some silly child?" That was Dovail, voice as deep as his sister's and more than a little overheated. "Your mother ruled without bias –"
"My mother ruled without heart!" Lina exclaimed. "There's a world of difference between the two."
"He's a liability! If the hordes find out he's here –"
Jareth ignored them all. Disentangling himself from Lina with gentle care, he headed for the door. His steps were sure, his expression barely managing to conceal longing. He'd missed Sarah by the blink of an eye, yet it felt like it could have been years since she took flight. His entire existence called out to her as he brushed through the archway into the hall. It was painfully empty but he didn't let that deter him for one second. She was the answer, he knew, to the void he was feeling inside. He couldn't conjure, transport, create illusions or touch Time. Lina said it would come back to him but…he knew that was more kindness than truth.
Sarah was the new kind of magic that would fill his veins, if only he could find her.
The Palace was a maze in its own right, a twisting marble puzzle filled with scurrying people still searching for a dead Queen. It was enough to blur her vision, make her head spin. And then there was that damn heady air bursting with rich pollen scents that made her want to be sick. How anyone could think clearly in a cloud of perfume like that was beyond her. When Sarah finally happened upon an empty balcony, senses irritated beyond imagination and insides twisted to knots, she collapsed against the railings with immeasurable relief. It took a few minutes for the heaving of her stomach to subside and for her hands to cease their trembling against the marble balustrade.
The view was fairly ordinary for where she was, a field of green decorated with statues. Compared to the stagnancy of her last few venues it seemed incredibly beautiful. Maybe it was just the fresh air. Sarah half-sat and half-fell onto the balcony floor, slipping her legs between the bannisters so that they hung over the edge. She wound her hands around them and pressed her face into the marble, soothed by its cool touch. A spring wind kissed her hair. What the hell was she meant to do about…about any of it? There seemed no obvious answers, which was probably why she sat there in the first place.
"What are you doing?"
"Jesus," she swore softly, jumping at Brynn's voice behind her. She didn't turn around but there was no mistaking the careful timbre of the stone man. "Leave me alone." There was no fire left in her, no strength, just a sighed plea.
"You can't just walk away in the middle of a run."
"Says who?" she mumbled, running a finger along the seam of her shorts. The field was pretty, actually, in its simplicity. Fresh and luminescent and with nothing at all in it to remind her of goblins or mazes.
"Responsibility does," he replied stonily. Though he stood over her, she noticed that he didn't seem to loom. Maybe she just didn't find him intimidating anymore. "There are vicious goblins out there waiting and watching to see how you go about ruling them. They are to going judge your worth from this, and the Fates help you if they find you lacking."
"Can I not have five fucking minutes to myself?" she replied, exasperated. "Five minutes without judgements and duty and life or death situations springing themselves on me? Jesus, Brynn, I'm only fucking human."
"That's not an excuse," he told her with surprising vehemence. "You have boasted your humanity as an advantage this entire time; if you start recanting the strength of that now you're going to lose everything."
"Haven't I already lost enough?"
"There's no limit to cost, Sarah. You think there is, but believe me you will never stop running out of things to have taken from you."
"If this is supposed to be a pep talk you're doing it wrong." Still she kept her eyes trained on the garden, on the grass and the sky and the only things not tainted by nasty truth. Yet she could feel as he shifted and took a seat beside her on the floor.
"Luka's in an oubliette," he announced blankly. When she gave no response, he continued. "You aren't allowed to interfere directly with his progress, but I thought you would have found a way to encourage him nonetheless. He's trapped, Sarah, and he needs assistance."
"Yeah, I know the feeling."
"I never thought you capable of selfishness."
She whirled around to glare at him, knuckles white along the ridges of her sudden fists. "Do you know why I'm hiding?" she spat. "Because if I mess this up Luka dies, Eva Neese dies, your stupid emotionless people will be overrun, my friends will be killed and I may as well throw myself over this balcony for all the good I could do to stop it! Who can handle those kinds of consequences? This is a no-win situation, Brynn. If I help Luka, then I'm stuck here as Goblin Queen. If I blow it everyone suffers. I just want to go home. I've had enough of not having a choice."
"You've had choices the entire time you've been here," he said in a tone quieter, if no less hard. "You could have refused to take part in Mira's schemes no matter her hold over your siblings. You could have let her die in the City without trying to stop it. You have bent the will of others around you to give yourself those choices." His expression softened just the smallest bit under her stare, a rock wall crumbling. "I don't understand you, but I know the things you've done have been brave. And I know that I haven't misplaced my faith in you. So stand up, come back to the Chamber and help this boy through the Labyrinth. If not for anyone's sake but your own. I don't know you well, but I doubt your conscience bears failure easily."
There was still a part of her that resisted, though she swelled with feeling at his words. "But if I come back and do it right, I'll still be stuck here."
A ghost of something whispered across his face, a fraction of a smile. "Says who?"
"Don't give me anymore false hope," she said crossly, not in the mood for him to suddenly find some semblance of humour. "I've been living off that for months and I'm sick of it."
"I'm not giving you anything," Brynn replied quickly, getting to his feet. "Just remember that you've usually been able to find a third way when only given two."
He was right, in a way. She'd made a mess of things, but only because she'd refused to play the game in black and white. Maybe mess was a good thing, if it meant she could hide in the rabble and get away with something for herself. And maybe that thing was a little piece of her own freedom. That word brought her mind back to Luka, and what and who he was running the maze for. He was, like her, some young fool who'd made a silly wish and now had to live out the consequences. Even if she was still living out hers, years later, it was all the same story. You did your best with what you had, because of the choices you'd made. "I'm not making a big glittery entrance," she grumbled, ignoring Brynn's proffered hand as she stood. "That was always Jareth's thing."
"You can do whatever you'd like," the Fae replied, holding out an arm so he could transport them.
Sarah resisted the urge to roll her eyes, laying a hand on him. If only that were true. "Wait!" she cried quickly, an idea coming to her. She couldn't directly help Luka, but that didn't mean she couldn't send in people who could. "Take us back to the Castle first. I know someone who's good with oubliettes."
She didn't like the way the Councillors were looking at the Elf.
It was a disdainful, disapproving, vaguely threatening sort of look they shared among themselves. The only one not doing so was Marina, and that seemed only because she was too invested in arguing with her brother. He looked so alone, the Elf – Wick, I think that's his name – sitting against the stone wall as far back from the Fae as he could get. A sense of protectiveness drove her toward him, skirts swishing against the marble and stone. He balked at her appearance over him and even more so as she folded her legs neatly beside him. She shot a glare at the Councillors which seemed to soften their reproach somewhat, before smiling gently at the Elf. He had nice eyes, kind and deep but sad.
"I'm sure my brother will find Sarah soon enough," she told him. "I wouldn't worry too much."
He didn't answer immediately. He was toying with a leather band on his wrist, a woven piece of black that stood out starkly against his green skin. When he looked up at her, those kind eyes were deeper than ever. "Your mother murdered my cousin," he said.
All her years as a peacekeeper felt useless in that moment. What logical argument could hold up in the face of that heartbroken expression? It was one thing to organise a treaty between warring tribes; it was another to see the victim of a crime close up. Not that she hadn't done her fair share of holding villagers in their final death throes…but this Elf had been wronged by her own mother. It was an intimacy that made her skin prickle uncomfortably. "I'm so sorry," she said quietly, uneasy with how little that was worth. "I'm going to put things right. I know the ways my mother has hurt your people and –"
"She tried to kill Sarah," Wick interrupted with a careful severity that halted Lina's apology. "Sarah didn't want her to be eaten by the hordes, so she ordered them to stop and bring her back up to safety. But Mira took Keel's knife, and went for Sarah, and Keel stopped her. They fell off the platform into the City." He blinked solemn eyes at her. "She used my cousin to break her fall." He pressed a hand to his forehead and visibly stifled a sob. "Do you know what the worst part is? Sarah thinks it's her fault but she was just doing the right thing. She's always going to blame herself. I don't want her to live with that; I'm not even angry at her. I'm mad at myself. Every move I've made has led us to this point. It's my fault that Keel was involved in the first place."
She thought of the years she'd spent falling in love with Kiff. All their conversations, their arguments, the way he would sing to her, the nights she would sneak to his bed. If she hadn't loved him, he'd still be alive. Tears stung at her eyes; she let them fall. "I wish I could bring her back," she whispered. "I wish there was some forgotten corner of Fae history that told me how to raise the dead."
"Keel wanted change more than any of us. Just do that, and do it for her. Please."
Lina promised him with the same fervour she'd felt when giving her heart to Kiff.
Eva Neese didn't look like a bully. Not right now, anyway, in these circumstances. She was probably formidably gormless in her own habitat, beating on kids in the playground. Here though, in the Castle dungeon, she just looked like a beefy young girl scared out of her wits. Sarah couldn't help feeling sorry for her. It made her glad that Toby had been too young to remember his own experience, even if Jareth had reassured her he'd been well looked after. This was still no place for a child.
"Hi Eva," Sarah called softly through the bars.
Her snivelling stopped. "Who – who are you?"
"I'm here to help you, don't worry. My name is Sarah. I'm sorry you got put down here." She glared at Brynn. "What psycho decided it was necessary to lock her up in a cell?" she demanded.
"It's protocol," the Fae replied. "A default place for them to go if nobody intercepts."
"Well get her out," she said angrily. "Jesus Brynn, she's just a kid."
Wordlessly Brynn waved a hand over the lock; the cell gate slid open with a grating, rasping sound that made Sarah's teeth ache. She stepped into the dimly lit cell with an encouraging smile on her face. The girl was crumpled in a corner, her blonde braids ragged over a tear-stained, square-jawed face. The terror in her eyes softened her somewhat brutish appearance. "It's all right Eva, I promise I'm here to help you."
"Where am I?" Eva sniffed, making no move to stand. "I was at the park…"
"You're in my Castle. My uh…Goblin Castle. Sorry."
The mention of goblins sent the girl into a fit of wild sobbing. Sarah cursed under her breath for the stupid mistake and hurried over to Eva. "But it's okay, it's okay, really!" she laid a hand on her shoulder softly. "I'm their boss, you see, and they listen to me. And I told them they aren't allowed to hurt anybody anymore."
"That's not what it says in the stories!" Eva wailed.
"Well the Castle is under new management," Sarah told her firmly. "My management."
"Who's that?" Eva pointed at Brynn.
Sarah couldn't resist a smirk. "He works for me," she said smugly, daring the Fae to object.
He quirked an eyebrow, and shifted a little restlessly, but said nothing.
"Besides, there aren't any goblins actually in the Castle yet," she continued to the girl soothingly. "There were, but they're my friends. Good guys. I swear."
"Where – where are they?" Eva asked, eyes casting about as if expecting to be mauled any second.
"I sent them to help out Luka. He's been going through a bit of trouble because of you."
"L-Luka? What do you mean?"
Sarah's voice was gentle but insistent. "I think you know, Eva."
Her eyes widened with sudden realisation. "He wished me away to the goblins?"
"Yep. Because you upset him so much by picking on him all the time. And now the poor kid is running the Labyrinth trying to win you back because he feels bad and wants to save you. How about that?"
Eva considered this. She looked decidedly guilty, which Sarah had to admit was a little satisfying. Still, she helped the shaky girl to her feet and into the dungeon corridor. "Come on, I'll get you something to eat and we can wait somewhere a bit nicer than here."
It was a bizarre scene: the suburban dressed Sarah half-carrying a shivering German girl through the dungeons of a Castle in the company of a stony-faced Fae. Was this as normal as her life was going to get from now in? But then, Brynn had hinted at something before. Was it possible for her to go back to her old life after this? Or did he mean she could find some kind of balance? It was too much of a headache to think about for the moment. She saved her brainpower for the present. "Eva, why do you give Luka such a hard time?"
Eva seemed in no state to answer that question as they traipsed further through the stone corridors. She was too busy staring wild-eyed around every corner, just waiting for something to snatch at her. It was a lot for an eleven-year-old to take in.
"You're pretty lucky he's such a nice boy, you know," she persisted. "If I was you, I'd rather have him as a friend than a victim. Don't you think, Brynn?"
Behind her, the Fae seemed put out at being included. He didn't look the sort to have much experience talking with kids. "He seems amiable enough," he answered gruffly, following with an awkward cough.
"See? Even Brynn thinks so. And it's not easy to get on Brynn's good side." She thought of Luka, of all the small kids who didn't fit in that Eva had probably picked on in her life. "And, by the way, you do not want to get on his bad side either." What the hell. She may as well have a little fun with it. "I did, and he killed me! It didn't quite take though, obviously. I mean, I'm here, right?"
This seemed to sufficiently change the girl's mind. "I'll be nice!" she blubbered, "I promise! I won't pick on anyone anymore! I'm sorry!"
Damn. Guilt suffused her immediately at the panic in the girl's voice. So maybe Sarah wasn't a good bad guy, in any way. "I know," she said hurriedly, laying an arm around the girl's shoulder as they made it to the kitchen. "I know you won't Eva. You're a good kid too, deep down." She helped her into a chair and went through the cupboards for some snacks. Jareth's spells seemed to have worn off; there were no more muffins or pitchers of juice waiting fresh on the benchtops. It made her feel oddly lost, knowing another part of him had faded from the Castle. She stood, hands splayed against the wood, and took a moment to compose herself.
Luckily Brynn seemed to pick up on it and intervened. When she turned around, he'd conjured a jug of milk and some bread and cheese. Eva was eating as if she hadn't done so for days. Sarah's stomach grumbled too, for that matter, making her wonder how long it had been exactly since she'd had anything to eat. Or when she'd last slept. Scooping up some food, she told Eva they'd be just outside and motioned for Brynn to join her in the hall. The bread crumbled deliciously in her mouth, just as the cheese melted with perfection.
"What do we do now?" she asked around a second mouthful.
"Your goblins have been despatched to assist the boy," Brynn answered matter-of-factly. "But I would suggest that I return to him on the off chance that he should come into strenuous circumstances. If you agree, that is," he added, in what could have passed for satire, "Considering I work for you."
Sarah hid a grin behind her last piece of bread. "I agree," she managed to say in a fairly dignified tone. "Meanwhile, I'll take Eva with me back to the Palace. I want to get back to Wick and make sure he's okay."
"I…don't think that's a wise decision."
"Why not?"
"The girl…I don't think she would react well to being thrown into the midst of the Fae Council."
But that answer didn't seem to suit him. He didn't budge an inch, or bat an eye, but the way he said it felt like a lie. He never hesitated and he'd just done it twice.
"Wick needs me. I'm allowed to be there." The last dregs of bread no longer appealed to her. She didn't think she could handle another ounce of drama, if there was any to be found in this strange conversation.
"You can't afford to be distracted," Brynn replied dismissively. "Your focus has to remain on the run."
"His cousin just died because of me," she stressed. "You think I'm going to leave him on his own with that crowd in the Palace?"
"He'll have plenty of support without you there."
"Like who?" she scoffed, folding her arms. "Not one of those Fae give a damn about Elves and probably only tolerate him being there because of me. If I stay away much longer –"
"He'll have someone to support him," the Fae interrupted with such force that she balked at him.
"Who, Brynn?" she demanded. "Who's there?"
"It doesn't matter. You just need to concentrate on your duties." He made a flinching movement with his hands, looking about ready to shove her back into the kitchen. "Tend to the girl. Think of how this run is going to end, so that we can set a precedent for the future."
"No." Sarah took a few steps back and splayed hands on her hips. "You're keeping something from me. What is it?"
"It's not important."
"Obviously it is."
"Sarah." So much emphasis, so much exasperation in that one word.
"Brynn." She did her best to match his frown, his stubborn glower, the sharp set of his jaw. "Who's back at the Palace that you don't want me to –" Something clicked. "The Queen's dead. People need to know. You told the Council. Who else did you tell, Brynn?" Was that her voice shaking like that? It couldn't be.
His silence was answer enough.
"Lina's heir to the Throne," she murmured slowly. "Why wasn't she in the Chambers with the Councillors?"
Guilt in his expression wasn't exactly a surprise, but…embarrassment? On the great stone face? "I couldn't stop her," he said. Yes, there was a distinct touch of shame to that statement. "As soon as she arrived she started asking after him. I told her she had to stay, had to wait…but she wouldn't listen to me."
Sarah felt lightheaded. Her heart was beating very fast. There was a buzzing in her ears. So much for no more drama. "She brought him back, didn't she? Lina brought Jareth home."
"You needed to stay focused," he replied, seeming to gain back some semblance of purpose.
"You knew. You knew she'd gone to get him and you didn't tell me?"
"What's happening here is incredibly important, Sarah. I thought Jareth would distract you from your duties."
Sarah punched him in the arm. Quite hard, though it didn't seem to faze him. "You don't get to make those decisions for me!" she snapped, raising her fist to strike again. "That especially was not a decision you should've made for me!"
Perhaps it was shock that had stopped him from reacting the first time, but the second swing he caught fast. "Don't do that." Sarah's wrist was locked in his grip and she glared at him defiantly. "I made a logical choice," he answered calmly.
"Then why did you look so guilty?"
He had no answer for that.
"I'm serious Brynn, if you're going to – to follow me, or work for me or whatever – you can't hold things back. I'm a grown-ass woman and I can figure out for myself what I need to focus on." All this she said in a much more reserved tone than before. It was probably against her argument to be in hysterics in front of him over the mere mention of Jareth.
Letting go of her wrist, Brynn glanced down at the floor momentarily and nodded his acquiescence. For him, that seemed the equivalent of having had his ears boxed thoroughly.
"Good. Now take me back to the Palace."
He quirked a brow at her.
"I won't mess up the run because of him!" she said exasperatedly. "He was the Goblin King for a hundred years, remember? Don't you think he'd be a bit helpful?" If I can stop myself from knocking him to the floor and kissing him to death.
"Fine," Brynn agreed at last, to which Sarah whooped and snatched up his arm. "But I do think first we should do something with Miss Neese."
Sarah nodded quickly, not about to let him think she'd already forgotten the girl. "We'll take her to the gardens to wait. She'll probably like some sunshine after being in the dungeon for so long."
In all honesty, she lost track of events after that. She probably went to fetch Eva and Brynn most likely took them to the gardens. They must have left her there in comfort, because the next thing Sarah knew she was alone with Brynn and being pulled through nothingness back to the Palace. Back to Jareth.
Traversing the depths of the Palace without magic was painful. After two weeks spent Above he'd gotten used to walking everywhere, yet it was frustrating beyond measure now. The corridors seemed twice as long, the rooms in endless abundance. Every person who passed him by received a frustrated glare when they couldn't tell him that they'd seen the woman he described. It wasn't even the running around that bothered him so much as the time it took. With no memory in the Above, he hadn't been able to name the odd feeling that had tickled the back of his mind for two weeks. He knew what it was now, that strange extra beat like a pulse: the seconds of life ticking by. And they did so agonisingly slowly; how could humans stand it? How did Sarah not go mad with it?
Sarah. Why did she have to go running off just before he arrived? Her timing was ironic and terrible. It wouldn't have been a problem had he been able to just turn back the clock, but that wasn't an option anymore. Jareth greatly suspected he was stuck living a very linear life from now on. He cursed his own impatience for not thinking to bring Lina along; it would've been much faster for her to transport him around the place.
"Your Royal Highness?"
"What?" he snapped impatiently. "If it's not about Sarah Williams I don't want to –"
"It is," the Elf behind him replied smoothly, blankly. Clearly her Servant Self. "I witnessed Miss Williams conversing with His Majesty Brynn Fel Vaden on the West Balcony a short while ago. I wouldn't have taken notice, only she seemed rather upset. He transported her away, though. I suspect you might have a better time finding her if you return to the Council Chambers."
She would turn up in the place he'd left. Jareth glanced back down the hall, thinking of the time it had taken him to get here and how far the return walk was. He looked at the Elf. "Will you take me there?"
She stiffened. "I'm sorry Sir, but I've got orders to aid the search for the Queen –"
"She's dead," Jareth interrupted sharply, ignoring her stunned expression. "So the search is over. I need you to take me back to the Chambers." He thought of Sarah and her friend Wick, of her patience and kindness. "Please," he added as a gentler afterthought.
The Elf nodded. "With your permission Sir, I can make a gateway." She still looked shaken over the news of the Queen, though more surprised than upset.
Jareth gave his permission, though what true power he had left in this world he wasn't sure anymore.
Sarah wasn't a selfish person.
Not anymore, not for a long time, but at that moment…it might have been understandable if she felt more than a twinge of irritation. Really, was it too much to ask that these people sort out their own crap without her? Just for five minutes. Just so she could find Jareth. But no, returning to the Palace on Brynn's arm had doomed her to more duties. Had she really expected anything different?
Lina and the Council were at each other's throats.
Well, as much as people like the Fae could display such aggression. Theirs was a dangerous kind of subtlety, a slow heat with the potential to burn down everything in its wake. And it was directed at Wick.
"He was caught eavesdropping on a private conversation between Councillors and the Queen," Ezra was saying. The fact that her voice was actually brimming with anger showed how strongly she felt. "He was Severed as punishment and I don't see how he should be allowed to go on as if nothing happened."
"And worse, he flaunts his True Self like a banner in a proud wind!" another cried.
Lina was standing protectively between the Councillors and the Elf, though if she showed any hint of aggression it was only in her wild eyes. Her face was serene, posture strong and assertive. Years of peacekeeping must have taught her how to remain unruffled in situations like this. "You know the protocols here Lady Ezra," she replied in a voice like the calm before the storm. "Recent spells cast by the Queen are voided in the event of her death. It is up to her successor to decide whether they are to be upheld or renewed. The same goes for punishments: I will Pardon my brother and I will see that this Elf remains unSevered. They have served their time."
"You are not Queen yet," Dovail answered, despite the warning glances given by his sister. "Your commands are not binding."
"But I am the Princess, Heir to the Throne of the Fae Domain. I'm the most powerful person in this room."
Sarah watched tensely. Nobody seemed to have noticed her and Brynn's arrival yet. Maybe she didn't have to intervene. Maybe she could just slip away and go look for Jareth and –
"That servant has been corrupted by contact with the human girl and is no longer fit for duty!"
Okay. Maybe she had to say a few words.
"You are still to be sworn in, Princess," Ezra said coldly. "And we are the ones responsible for that process, which grants us more power than you deign to consider. If it were up to me, I'd have killed the Elf when we caught him in the first place."
"Right!" Sarah shouted, cutting off anything diplomatic Lina had been about to say. "That's it! All of you, listen up!"
They did. They stared at her in varying degrees of indignation. Well, at least she had their attention. "I'm sick of this shit. You guys –" she pointed a threatening finger at the Council – "Need to understand that Lina's not the most powerful person in the room. I am." Their derision was beyond obvious, but she didn't let it dampen her sudden fire. "Don't you get it yet? I'm the one with the respect of the hordes. I'm the one who controls thousands of goblins. Goblins you are all so terrified of that you try to kill off anybody who might upset the scales and send them rushing over the walls at you. Do you know what happened to the Queen? Do you really know?"
Brynn had told her what he'd passed on to the Councils, but she thought the truth would cement their belief in her authority. A small belief, if not exactly respect.
"She was poisoned by her broken promise to you," Ezra replied, in a way that was clearly meant to lay blame on Sarah. "The creatures took advantage of that."
Sarah shook her head fiercely. "Nope. Wrong. She was poisoned all right, and she fell into a pit of monsters, that's for sure. But do you know what happened then? The goblins tried to attack her and I told them to stop." Silence. Uneasy, disbelieving silence. "And they listened. They stood back and let us collect up her broken body and lift her up to safety. I told them to do something, and they did it. Me. Sarah Williams."
"So why is our Queen dead?" asked another Councillor.
"Because she did the wrong thing," Sarah answered solemnly. A death was still a death; she was still uncomfortable with her involvement in it. "I saved her and she tried to kill me. And through nobody's fault but her own, she fell right back into that pit of monsters and died." Let them linger on that, she decided, turning a carefully casual expression to Brynn. "You should go. See how Luka's doing."
"Should I stay?" he murmured, eyeing the Council, but Sarah waved him away.
"No, they need to learn to respect my authority," she replied just as quietly. "I'm the babe with the power, right? They need to know it."
That was a smile. That was a definite smile from him then before he vanished with a nod.
Back to the Council: they were studying her intently and – to Sarah's satisfaction – with clearly confused consciences. She kept her face neutral and risked a glance at Lina, whose lips were turned up in a proud hint of a smile. Wick too was eyeing her with open reverence, if still meekly taking cover behind Lina. "I'm not directly trying to offend you or disrespect you," she continued. "But you need to understand that I do hold some fairly heavy sway in the decisions that are going to be made around here from now on. And obviously, my first objection is to anything happening to Wick, or his family, or any other Elves for that matter. They're a good, honest, reliable people who deserve more than the lot you've given them in life. And Lina is going to make a kick-ass Queen, so you're going to have to work with her on anything she wants to do for the Elves."
Ezra opened her mouth to object – of course – but Sarah didn't give her the chance. "And if you have a problem with that, I can always up and leave. Which, by the way, you should think hard about. Because I don't even want to be here in this cold old Palace full of stuffy nobles. And I don't want to be sitting back in that Castle which stinks of goblins no matter how much I clean it, waiting to put kids through a frankly inhumane test of spirit." And now for the final blow. "And, if I hadn't come here in the first place, you'd have all been goblin fodder months ago thanks to my boyfriend and his sweet if irresponsibly misplaced attentions."
If she'd confused them before, they were positively speechless now. She worried from the looks on their faces that she might've broken a few of their brains. So maybe she'd been a bit brutally honest, but it had to be said! Maybe she'd indirectly threatened them a little; it wasn't as if they didn't need a good push in the right direction. If she could soften them up for Lina when it was her turn to deal with them, then that was an achievement all its own.
One of the Fae took a step forward: Marina, the woman in silver, with hands clasped together in front of her. "I admit to the difficulty of agreeing to so much change," she announced to the silent room, voice beautiful in all its regal depth. "Yet I can also see the foolishness in ignoring the idea of it." She raised her chin high and met Sarah's eyes. "I am willing to see what this woman is capable of." Woman, Sarah noticed proudly, not child or girl.
No one said anything, but someone shifted from just behind Marina – her brother, stepping into plain sight. He had no look of agreement about him, rather a stern acceptance of the inevitable. "I too lay my interest in the future of this Goblin Queen."
Two others followed suit and the rest remained stone-faced and silent. Sarah felt a little disappointed by the response but a quick look from Lina told her something incredibly important had just happened.
And still, she couldn't help feeling just a little selfish. Because the Councillors were breaking up to talk in groups, and Lina and Wick were hurrying toward her with huge grins, and all she wanted was to share the moment with Jareth. Jareth, whose name she wanted to sigh every time her mouth opened, whose continued absence was starting to drive her beyond a safe state of crazy.
"So I'm your boyfriend now, am I?"
Maybe she was actually going crazy, but that hot shiver of breath on her neck was too real. There'd be a smug little smile on his face when she turned around; she just knew it. Knew it, and didn't care. He was here, he was alive. He was –
She blinked. He was wearing tight jeans and a leather jacket and stared at her from beneath a mane of overgrown hair. His expression wasn't smug, though. It was intense and beatific and full of obvious restraint. Sarah couldn't help herself; she reached up and tugged at a lock of ragged blonde hair. "Yeah well," she murmured, "Thought I'd go ahead and make it official. Didn't think you'd mind."
He watched his hair being curled around her finger. "Not at all," he answered mildly. "Though I must admit 'boyfriend' sounds a little juvenile."
"What do you want me to call you, then?" she demanded softly, heart in her throat, breathing shallow.
His hand encircled hers and brought it to his chest; he lifted her face to his with a finger. It made her dizzy, having nothing of him for so long and then all at once being swept up by the tide in those eyes. "Just Jareth," he whispered against her lips, with no trace of teasing. "Jareth, forever yours…and you will be Sarah, forever mine. We don't need anything else. We never have and never will."
"That's very romantic, but probably a bit wordy on paper." How did she manage to act so coolly when inside she was aching to kiss him? Her legs felt like they might give out any moment.
"Always have a comeback prepared, don't we love?" He brushed his nose against hers.
"I have to," she sighed against his cheek. "Got to keep you in line, don't I?"
"It must be such a taxing life you lead."
She felt ready to break apart then, even if he was just being playful. The last endless hours were more than catching up to her; they were rushing up in full force. "Jareth," she murmured desperately, throwing aside all pretence. "I'm so tired."
"I know, love," he whispered seriously, drawing her in close, folding an arm around her waist. "You've done so well."
"I'm so damn tired –"
"Ssh, I know –"
"And I missed you –"
"Sarah –"
"I will not stand for this flaunting of total disregard for rules!"
Maybe murder wasn't so far beyond Sarah's capability. Ezra was certainly pushing her luck. From Jareth's embrace she turned to glare at the Fae in exasperation. The pair of them had gathered everyone's attention unawares.
"Your union is forbidden!" the bitter Elder exclaimed, clearly pushed to her limits by now. "It was the entire reason for your de-Throning in the first place –"
"I told you he's been Pardoned for his crimes," Lina interjected shortly. "My brother can love whomever he chooses."
"Not this choice," one of the other Councillors added, a woman who hadn't stood to proclaim respect for Sarah earlier. "Unions between Fae and mortals are against the fabric of our existence. Even you can't sanction them, Princess."
"Well I've got news for you then," Jareth said icily over Sarah's head. She felt the rumble of his voice in his chest. "I'm a mortal now and powerless to boot, so I can damn well be with Sarah because I've got nothing to contribute to the Domain in the least."
Sarah expected a shocked silence, hoped for it, but of course there were objections and arguments and endless voices. She'd had enough of it. They were directed at her but she didn't care at all. "Hold that thought!" she shouted at Ezra, who was about to deliver another tirade.
Tangling her fingers into Jareth's hair, she kissed him hard.
"You shine your own bright light, you know. With or without me."
She always had, always. But just now, watching her handle those Fae with such ease and self-assurance, Sarah blinded him. She was magnificent. He'd wanted to scoop her up, to pour his soul into her hands, to proclaim undying love like a poet in a story. But the words that had slipped free had been casual, mischievous, true to his character yet completely unbefitting. It felt as if his mouth had done the talking while his heart and mind had been preoccupied just breathing her in. He hadn't said or done half the things he'd wanted to by the end of the chaos that was their reunion. All around them Fae protested, Lina argued calmly – but it was easy to ignore. The void inside that had once been his magic was being filled by Sarah. Sarah and her love and the warm press of her mouth on his and the gritty, exhausted scent of her and the Council could all go take a dive in the Bog for all he cared.
"Sarah…you need to see this…"
Jareth's tried to keep her in place, fingers clinging to her waist, but she pulled away. If only a little and very reluctantly. He expected Sarah to lose her temper with Wick, as she had with Ezra, and as he very much wanted to for the interruption. But she turned to the Elf with an expression too soft for anger and too forced to be anything other than guilt. What did she owe him? Clasping his hand tightly, Sarah reached out for the mirror Wick held aloft. Drawing close to Jareth so they stood hip to hip, she gazed into the glass with wariness.
"What now…?" she murmured anxiously, staring into its depths with a frown. The look on her face told him exactly what now. She'd been overseeing the boy's run of the Labyrinth; it was time for the final test. How many times had Jareth looked just like that? Tight-lipped and strained and too exhausted for total panic. All because it was time to play the true part of the ruler of the goblins. She'd managed to tweak the game's guidelines thus far; this was not something she could talk her way out of.
By her pleading expression, meeting his gaze, Sarah knew it too.
"I'll come with you," he offered automatically.
She shook her head. "They hate you now. You'll be ripped to shreds if they see you."
He took her gently by the shoulders, about to say he didn't care, would follow her to his death all over again, when another voice interrupted.
"Trust yourself, Sarah. You've no other choice."
Jareth hadn't resented Brynn Fel Vaden for taking his job and almost killing him. He'd felt very little for the man who'd stepped forward to clean up the mess that his reign had ended in. But he bristled with loathing now. Every muscle tensed, every hair stood on end. He was a wolf with its hackles up. His hands tightened on Sarah's shoulders.
"You have no right to be here after what you did to her," he spat at the Fae. "She'd have died because of you, if I hadn't –"
"She's been risking death every hour of the day for months because of you," Brynn replied shortly. "Saving her life was only an act which you owed her in the first place." He had the audacity to dismiss Jareth with a glance and turn his focus to Sarah. "There's no more time. You have to do this."
"That isn't what she wants to hear right now," Jareth growled.
"It's the truth." Those words were irritatingly smooth and logical.
Somewhere along the way, Jareth must have lost the ability to force emotion from his voice. There was very little of his Fae self left and that wasn't really a terrible thing. Because Sarah didn't need logic now; she needed support. "I didn't see everything but I know you'll have done right by that boy," he murmured to her. "He'll make the right decision. It will be all right."
"And then what?" she whispered, fingernails digging into his jacket sleeves. "What happens after that? So he goes back with Eva and they become best friends. What about the next time? And the time after that? The wishes will never stop, Jareth, so neither can I."
She was reading the words right out of his heart. This was what he'd suffered through every day for more than a century. The blood and loss was haunting in its own right but much worse was the certainty of knowing there'd always be a next time. And she understood this, understood him, in a way nobody else did. Her future was uncertain, wavering with every decision made. But she'd come all this way for the most important reasons: for the sake of her siblings, for her own self, for him.
And so it wasn't an answer, it wasn't a promise to anything that she was asking, but it was the only thing he could ever offer her consistently. He leant forward, touched his forehead to hers and whispered: "I love you."
If she understood any of his reasons for giving this to her, she didn't say. Didn't need to. She closed the small space between them and kissed him once, just once, eyes open to match his own. He would never be happy with any view but that from now on, he was sure.
"Sarah. There's no more time."
Yes, Jareth thought, he definitely despised the man now.
Sarah showed him no animosity for the interruption, kissing Jareth again before turning to the Fae resolutely. "I'm going to need some of that magic of yours," she told him in a voice wonderfully less shaky than moments ago.
The Fae produced a mirror similar to the one Sarah held, yet it was blacker than night and shimmered with ominous potential. As she took it from him, Jareth couldn't help wondering what this new rapport between them was exactly. And couldn't help feeling stung with the knowledge that this was one thing he couldn't give her, no matter how trifling it seemed in comparison. What was a little piece of magic when you had someone's heart in your hand? To his credit Brynn seemed to ignore the situation rather than point it out, taking the silver mirror that Sarah handed to him.
"You'll be here when I get back, right?"
That question was for him, not the other Fae, as Sarah turned back to him expectantly. She was a vision of grit and determination, swishing the hair from her face and clutching the black mirror firmly.
"I'm not going anywhere," he swore to her.
And then Brynn touched her shoulder from behind and sent her whirling away to the Goblin Castle.
It had felt like the right thing to do at the time. Luka couldn't have said why, but he was sure that in movies the hero always faced his final test alone. So he'd waved off his friends with a brave and thankful – if a little battered and bruised – smile, and climbed the stairs to the tallest tower of the Goblin Castle. He knew that it was Sarah who would be waiting for him – at least, he hoped so – and that really he had nothing to be afraid of. Not after the things he'd just been through with the strangest bunch of creatures he'd ever met. And yet he couldn't help worrying that he'd gotten it wrong, that the Goblin Queen might be playing a big trick on him. Everything in this place seemed to like playing tricks on him. Still, he reached the top of stairs with his knees only shaking a little, and that seemed quite an achievement.
He was in a strangely ordinary room, though filled with amazing things. It was all stone walls and thick red carpet and stacks full of books. Stacks and stacks of books. It was heaven. He could have crawled into the centre of the room and read happily forever without ever being bothered by people. The colourful spine of a fantasy story called out to him from the top of a pile. He reached out to touch it, fingers outstretched as if toward gold. A voice stopped him.
"Hey, Luka."
He turned. Sarah – the Goblin Queen – was sitting cross legged in the middle of a messy pile of really old-looking novels. A fire was glowing hot and darkly orange behind her in the fireplace. It made it difficult to see her clearly, only a black outline. Something glimmered in her hand.
"Hi, Your Majesty," he said, mouth suddenly dry. Was he about to be tricked? He bowed for good measure."
"You don't need to do that," she told him softly. "Just call me Sarah, remember?" She twirled the thing in her hands. Luka thought it was a mirror. "Luka, you've done really well kiddo. Really well. I'm proud of you."
"Thankyou." He couldn't help swelling with pride. Teachers at school told him that every day, but to be told by a Queen! It made it easier to ignore the stinging of his cuts and scratches from the run. "Can I please have Eva back now?"
"Not just yet." She flashed the shiny thing at him: it was a mirror. "You know I have to test you first, right? That's what this is all about."
"I know." He realised his hand was still stretched out toward the book from earlier, still eager. With an effort he let it drop and moved closer to the woman outlined by fire. "What's the test?"
Sarah – the Goblin Queen, it was hard not to think of her like that when she looked the way she did – stared into the mirror, but frowned as if she couldn't see anything. Then she looked at him. Her smile looked kind enough, but he had the feeling she was worried about something. "Before I give you Eva you have to prove your worth," she told him quietly. "Prove to me that you won't be tempted again by easy fixes, or she's ours forever." She turned the mirror to face him. It was small, framed by shining black metal. Pictures swirled inside it, but he had to move closer before he could make them out. "This mirror shows you your dreams," she told him. "It shows you everything you could have if you give up Eva to me. Look into it, Luka, and think hard. And tell me that you don't want them. That you don't want to be rewarded for damning someone's soul."
He shivered. Both at her words and at the things he saw in the reflective glass. It seemed to swallow him up, the depths of the pictures and what they promised: a life without bullies, an endless collection of books and comics and rooms filled with his favourite video games and science experiments and ice cream, a life he could very happily live forever. He saw himself smiling and reading in a warm comfy chair, flicking through comics with a tall glass of soda beside him. He saw pictures of himself as a grown up, very happy and very loved and confident, a man that nobody ever picked on or interrupted and who was never told not to talk so much or to play outside more. A man whose favourite Nanna was still alive and who would visit him all the time and give him treats and teach him to play piano. A man whose goldfish hadn't been eaten by the neighbour's sneaky cat. Someone who didn't remember being almost sealed into a wall of bricks, or falling into a lake filled with eels, or running from a gang of fire-eating creatures with heads that bobbed along separately from their bodies. He didn't feel hungry, looking into that mirror. He didn't feel tired or sad or lost or alone or scared, and would never feel those things again, if he just took that mirror and gave them Eva and – Eva –
He snatched the mirror from the Goblin Queen's hand.
And threw it into the stone wall with all his might.
