AN: hey all sorry for lack of updates yesterday and today. I had a minor surgery yesterday and it turned into a major pain. So I had no choice but to take my meds and go to bed. I am feeling better today and going to get a few updates up this afternoon and more late tonight. I am thinking a few more days and maybe 50-70 chapters. But really who knows... So hear we go starting to get some answers.

The truth can't be held back anymore. No truer thought could be thought at this moment. The flood gates are upon us I guess. The crack is there the bursting of the damn is gonna happen at some point. Might as well be now.

"I was an angry kid. You have to know that. Always was. From what I hear it goes back to the minute I was born, or my mom likes to tell me. She went through more nannies in the first few years then she could recall. I just blamed her being a hard ass bitch." A glass of sweet tea is put in front of me and I take long drink. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand I take a long breath.

He gives me a a small nod. Funny I don't need his permission but it is welcoming and needed.

"I was miserable because home was miserable, or maybe just because of my genetic make up. I don't know. But anyway." I'm not sure I should jump right back in where I was before my episode or not. He keeps cooking but helps.

"So what was going on in your head then?" damn he should have been a therapist.

"Um well that's just it I didn't know. I thought I was mocking you but something else hit me." Funny the confusion is just the same as it was back then.

"Jealousy maybe?"

"I'm thinking so." staring at the counter I roll the idea off my mind a bit. "Maybe confusion as to why I felt jealous." That sounded good to me.

"Well I remember how confused I was. That was the first time Rose kissed me. Any girl really and I thought it was suppose to feel different." He studied the back splash. "I guess that's when I started figuring out myself."