Author's Note: Hi, guys. I know I've said not to expect any updates this week, as well as the next two weeks. But I decided that I should update before I leave for vacation for two weeks, even though I still have another week left of summer school, so I was finishing up the chapters of the stories that I hadn't finish like crazy yesterday.
So since I'm updating this week, don't expect any updates at all the next two weeks. Actually, all of the month of July. Don't hope that I'm exaggerating and that I'll update. Seriously, I'm going on vacation. Enjoy!
Oh, and I know it's late, but Happy 4th of July!
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
Chapter 29
I watched Tanya's car that was parked in front of her house. Everything about that car gave me an aura of danger. That car held the identity of Tanya Denali.
The clock on the dashboard told me that it was almost midnight. I watched as her upstairs' window's light flickered out. She was finally sleeping, no doubt pleased with her day's work.
Slowly, I got out of my car and strode toward her fancy car. The windows were darkly tinted so that I couldn't look inside, even by shining the flashlight in my phone.
I tried her door. Of course, it was locked.
I considered breaking into her house for her car keys, but quickly dismissed the idea. Too risky.
I looked at the car again, then reached into my pockets for a paperclip that I'd taken earlier today during math. I'd picked locks before, hanging out with Emmett and Jasper and fooling around, but I didn't know if this would work on cars.
A click answered my question. Withdrawing the paperclip, I pulled the handle and slipped into the driver's seat.
The entire car reeked of Tanya's rich perfume. Breathing through my mouth, I began searching.
It didn't take that long. I found a small bag of powder in an hidden compartment underneath the seat.
I raised my eyebrow. If this wasn't evidence, I didn't know what was.
Bella's Point of View
He was in my dreams. We were both young, middle school students again.
"Edward, I told you to study last night!" I was scolding him. "Did you fall asleep again?"
He grinned, his face handsome and playful. His hands were in his pockets as he leaned against a pole casually. "It was too boring for me."
I frowned and slapped his arm gently.
"Ow!" Edward protested. "Why are you hitting me? I've done nothing wrong!"
"No," I told him. "It's my fault. I should have come over and made sure you were studying. Aren't you afraid you'll get bad grades on that final?"
He rolled his eyes and threw an arm around me. "You're kidding, right? I don't need to study, Bella. I have two brains."
"Two brains?"
He nodded, smiling. "One in here." He tapped his head. "And one here." He leaned down to kiss my cheek. "Just being around you makes me smarter. Why would I study?"
I panicked when the scene changed. I didn't want to leave them behind. Those young teenagers who knew nothing about life… I wanted to go back and live in that time.
"Idiot."
I turned around and saw him again, though he was seventeen and himself now. He was wearing the matching hoodie that I had, and his hood was raised over his head, blocking out his messy bronze hair.
"Why would you try to shoot yourself?" he chided. "Did you think that this was never going to end?"
I tilted my head. "What do you mean?"
He gave me a small, yet radiant smile. "Remember what you told me? 'It may seem hard now, but it'll be over soon'. That's what you told me when I was having trouble with Algebra in seventh grade."
He narrowed his eyes. "I should've said the same to you. Life's no different from math. It seems hard now, and you might feel like your loneliness and hardships will never be over. But you should've known, Bella. It would be over soon. And once you get past those obstacles, happiness would come to you."
He shook his head, and smiled his crooked smile. "And you're never alone. You have Alice, Rosalie… And even though he may seem like more of an idiot than you are, Emmett. Jasper, too. Carlisle and Esme think of you as a daughter.
"And me. I would always be there for you, Bella. You're never alone."
He reached out to brush my cheek with his finger…then faded away.
"No!" I jerked awake, trying to keep his image in mind, but it kept fading away. I couldn't remember his face. And that scared me. Was I finally dead?
"Easy, girlie," a familiar voice said lightly. "You'll mess up your pretty face by frowning like that. Why don't you stop trying to sit up?"
Startled, I turned my face slowly to prevent the pain. My blurry eyesight cleared, and I saw Emmett smiling down at me reassuringly.
"Emmett," I breathed.
"'Sup, Bells?" Emmett said cheerfully, in his usual playful tone. "How you feelin'?"
I winced and grimaced slightly. "Like crap."
He laughed quietly. "Yeah, I bet. But hey. You look way better."
I had to smile at that. "Really? How bad am I?"
"You nearly busted out your major organs, but other than that, it's all good."
I groaned. "How many days has it been?"
"Two weeks," Rosalie answered, entering the room. She was holding a pitcher of water. She gave me a reproachful look. "You had to try to kill yourself."
"Good to see you too," I said, rolling my eyes.
"I'm glad you're awake," Rosalie said, setting down the pitcher by the bedside table. "Thank goodness."
"I'm not that fragile," I said, put-out.
"Yeah, you are," she shot back.
I looked at them. "How come there are no police officers guarding me? Aren't I getting arrested?"
"Not anymore," Emmett said. "Thanks to Edward, your name was cleared."
I blinked, feeling lost. "What did I miss?"
"Oh, not much." Rosalie snorted. "Just a huge dramatic scene in the parking lot after the day you were shot. The bitch was screaming and crying as they arrested her, blaming you for everything that went wrong since she came to Forks. Of course, she should've been screaming at Edward, who proved your innocence, but hey, at least she's out of the way."
I couldn't speak for a moment. Did I just hear that right? "Edward…proved my innocence?"
Emmett smiled. "He snuck into Tanya's car and found the cocaine hidden there. He brought it to your father, and they arrested Tanya the day after. Of course, Edward had to pay a fine for trespassing on private property, but Carlisle and Esme was so proud of him for proving your innocence that they paid for him. Everything's all good."
"All you have to do is get better quickly," Rosalie informed me acidly. "That means no unnecessary moving, no complaining, and no more silly stunts like trying to shoot yourself. Do you understand, Isabella Swan? I swear, if you scare us like that ever again…" She let the threat hang and finished the sentence with her sharp eyes.
I smiled slightly. "Thanks, guys. And…I'm sorry."
Emmett nodded. "You should be. But I think there's someone else that you should apologize to rather than us." He smiled, patted my hand before rising and leaving the room with Rosalie.
I gazed up at the ceiling of the hospital room, feeling idiotic. Why had I gone for the gun? The dream that I'd had woke me up. It had been a pinch on my arm, telling me to get a grip. Why had I thought that it would never end?
I had Emmett and Rosalie. I had Alice and Jasper. My parents were caught up in their own bitter worlds and barely had time to remember to call to ask how I was doing, but it didn't matter because I had Carlisle and Esme.
And I had Edward. Why had I been so blind? I shouldn't have been so quick to trust someone so quickly, claiming that she was my friend. I'd been so dense…with friendship and love.
I should've gone for love instead of friendship. I had lots of friends already. I had made erratic choices. I had made a mistake that had almost killed me. And I had already killed my relationship with Edward. I had to try to revive it before it was too late. Would he forgive me? Would he still love me?
There was a light knock on the door, and Charlie peeked inside. "Hi, Bells. I heard you were finally awake, Sleeping Beauty."
I felt the lingering resentment build inside me but choked it down. "Hi, Dad. Come on in."
He stepped inside, closed the door quietly, and sat down next to me. He looked lost in his own thoughts as we drowned in silence for a moment. Finally, he looked up, and I saw that he hadn't gotten much sleep over the past two weeks. I felt guilty.
"First thing's first," Charlie said. He sighed. "I'm sorry, Bella. I'm sorry I didn't believe you. I should've known…but I was so miserable. I know that's a poor excuse for what I've been doing to you, but I guess I never stopped and considered how you would feel. The thing is, you've been great. Dealing with our fights for a long time…never even thinking to resort to drugs or alcohol, and staying devoted to school…" He tried to smile, but it came out as a grimace instead. "I'm proud of you, Bella."
The lump in my throat appeared, and tears formed in my eyes. I tried to hide it by turning my face away.
"Just…just don't do something like that again," Charlie pleaded. "You scared me so much. Imagine if your daughter did something like that: momentarily going crazy because of something you did. I hated myself so much for doing this to you. I'm the reason you're lying here right now, covered in gauze and not being able to move."
I sniffled. "Don't be silly, Dad. What are you talking about? I was the one who went insane."
"Because of me," Charlie repeated. He shook his head, sighing again, before rising and leaving the room silently, his shoulders hunched.
I spent the entire night crying myself to sleep. Nobody else came to visit me, probably knowing that I needed time alone.
Another week passed, and the only person that mattered to me didn't come to visit. That hurt me. Did this mean that he had finally given up on me? Was he so mad that he couldn't even come to see if I was okay?
I was able to move by this time, though it was not without effort and pain. Still, I could get up to stretch my legs or use the bathroom alone. That was nice.
Another person who didn't come to visit. My own mother.
But Renee was very irresponsible and forgetful. And I was sure that the guilt she must be feeling right now was stopping her from visiting me. But I missed her. I haven't seen her in a while.
I gazed out the window from my wheelchair. It was raining again. The dripping rain made me feel dreary, and everything seemed down. It matched the way I was feeling. The pain, physically, mentally, and emotionally.
My friends came to visit me every day. Carlisle stopped by a couple times a day to see how I was doing, and Esme insisted on staying overnight each day to care for me unless I persuaded her otherwise. Charlie visited each night too, before he went home.
And yet, I felt lonely. The only person who could bring me out of this loneliness was refusing to see me, much less talk to me. His phone kept ringing, and yet, he didn't answer. Why didn't he just turn off the phone, or, even better, chuck it across the ocean?
I felt so frustrated. Not just because of Edward, but also because of this stupid hospital ward. Not being able to roam around alone, walking without pain…I missed it. I missed the green trees and plants, the smell of the rain that I'd so detested… I missed it all.
Perhaps I was maturing. Going momentarily insane was probably a catalyst to my maturity. Looking back on everything that had happened to me so far, I felt amazed at how much I'd learned. About life, love, and friendship. I felt as though a so-called friend could never dupe me again, or never let go of the boy I love because of a simple mistake.
I touched my side gently with my hand. It felt almost as good as new, and yet, they weren't letting me out yet. I would never admit it, but the pain still bothered me. I wasn't ready to go out on my own yet, but I couldn't stand this. There was a huge stack of piled-up schoolwork waiting for me, friends I would have to face when I get to school.
There was a knock on my door. I didn't look back. No doubt it was Carlisle or Esme again.
"Hi, honey."
At her voice, my head snapped up, and I whirled myself around with the wheelchair to face Renee.
I stared at her for a long while before I greeted her. "Mom."
Tears filled her eyes. "Oh, I'm so sorry, baby."
I stared some more. "You…didn't come. Earlier."
Renee's gaze lowered. "I'm sorry. I just…I couldn't face you. Not after everything that I've done to you. I'm such a bad mother. I should've made you my first priority instead of chasing after some stupid love…"
"No, Mom," I said quietly. "I'm glad you have someone you love there for you. Even if I do hate the fact that it isn't my father."
She sniffed as she sank down on the chair beside my bed. "How are you feeling?"
"Better. They're saying I could get out of here this weekend if I behave." I smiled slightly as I wheeled closer to the bed, then stood to get on the bed. I pulled the covers over my cold legs before looking up again.
"That's good," Renee said, wiping her eyes. She sighed. "I…I don't know where to begin."
"Do you have something to tell me?"
She nodded slowly. "I know I shouldn't be doing this, considering the reason why you're here, all covered up in bandages. But…I'm hoping you'll forgive your irresponsible parents for this."
My heart sank as I stared at her. Tears blinded me again.
"Charlie and I decided just last night," Renee said quietly. "We're getting a divorce. I'm sorry, Bella."
I didn't know what to say. I was so overcome with disbelief and resentment that I had to look away as the tears fell.
"I'm so sorry," Renee whispered. "After everything…we're still hurting you."
After a moment of silence, I laughed slightly and wiped away my tears. "No. Maybe this is a good thing. Maybe…I'll finally get to sleep properly, without any shouting and arguing in the background as my lullaby."
Renee laughed a teary laugh as well, then reached up to smooth my hair back. "I'm so sorry for all the pain that we've caused you, Bella. You're such a wonderful daughter, and you deserve so much more. But you've done such a good job of growing up all by yourself. I'm proud of you. I'm proud to be your mother."
I cleared my throat. "So…um. How's…Phil?"
She perked up. "Bella…"
"I…uh…hope he's not angry with me for…being so rude to him the last time."
"No, no, of course not!" Renee said quickly, her eyes shining. And it wasn't because of the tears. Her tears were gone now. Any talk about her lover, and she was all perky and happy.
Maybe this divorce really was a good thing. Charlie was never the one for her. Phil made her happy. She belonged with him, and I was sure that she would never regret cheating on my father for this younger guy that she'd fallen for. She loved him.
If Phil made her happy, then that was fine with me. I'd been disapproving their relationship for so long because I was worrying about what would happen to Charlie. But I thought that I could finally give them my blessing. Letting go of all my worries would be nice. I wouldn't feel pressured and burdened anymore. No more stress.
"You're not…mad?" Renee asked, peeking at me hesitantly.
I gave a huge sigh. "No. I'm not mad. Just…just sad, I think."
She nodded, looking sheepish. "Sorry," she said again.
I smiled wryly. "Don't be sorry anymore, Mom. I don't want to hear those words ever again. If you're sorry to me, then promise me that you'll finally be happy with Phil." I shot her a mockingly severe look. "If you don't, you cost me my parents' relationship for nothing."
She laughed. "Don't worry." She tousled my hair lightly, then got up to leave. "I have to go. Phil's waiting for news about you. He's been worrying too, you know."
I nodded. "Tell him thank you. And that I said I'm sorry."
Renee smiled. "I will." She turned to leave, then turned back around almost immediately. "How are things with Edward?"
I looked away to hide my face. "Will you come visit me more often now?"
There was a beat of silence as Renee interpreted my change of subject.
Let it go, I thought desperately. Please let the subject go.
"If you promise not to hate me," Renee finally said. She stood there for a moment longer before leaving the ward.
I breathed a sigh of relief as I listened to sound of her footsteps fading away. Fresh tears clouded my eyes.
I bit my lip and fell backward onto the bed again, then turned so that I was facing the window, away from the door in case someone came to check on me again.
I needed him. Badly.
AN: What did you think? Why do you think Edward isn't coming in to visit her? Leave me lots of reviews and love!
