Author's Note: OMG! What is this? Another update, in less than a week? Shocked? Heh. It was nothing. Just lots of time on my hands until summer break ends, so I thought I'd treat you. Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
Chapter 31
Bella's Point of View
After an awkward hour of Biology, the bell finally rang. But before I could do or say anything, Edward was out of his seat, swinging his bag over his shoulder and walking out the door.
For a second, I just sat there, stunned. He was really going to take this all the way, wasn't he?
I couldn't concentrate on my last period of class. I was still hurt and shocked over his ignorance toward me. I decided that if I didn't confront him soon, I would lose sleep over him tonight again.
So when the bell dismissed us from school, I hurried to collect my things and walked out rapidly to the parking lot. Just in time.
Edward was walking briskly to his car. I saw Alice, Jasper, Rosalie, and Emmett at our usual parking spaces, looking anxious when they saw my determined expression and indifference on Edward's face.
"Edward Cullen!" I said, walking forward boldly.
He paused, then turned around to face me for the first time today. He was adopting a poker face, and there was no trace of his usual expression filled with love and concern when he looked at me.
"I want to know why you're avoiding me," I said, my face flickering back and forth between anger and hurt. I stopped about three feet away from him. "I wanted to talk to you. Why didn't you pick up my calls?"
Edward stared at me coldly. "I didn't want to."
I felt like he'd slapped me in the face. "What?"
He took a deep breath. "I didn't want to. That's all."
An incredulous sound escaped me. "You didn't want to? Edward-"
"I know what you're going to say, Bella," Edward said, his expression softening. "But no matter how hard you'll try to convince me, I won't believe a word you say."
I got the feeling that he did know what I wanted to tell him. But he wasn't going to believe me? What? Did this mean that I was too late?
My eyesight grew blurry. I blinked a couple times and tried to choke the big lump in my throat down. My voice still came out shaky.
"Don't tell me I'm too late, Edward," I said quietly, trying to mute the tremor in my voice as best as I could. "I need you."
Edward smiled sadly. "Actually, no, you don't need me. I know what you're going through, Bella. I know you better than you know yourself. And I know for sure that you're not ready for me. You've been too preoccupied with your parents and being betrayed by your friends. You need time on your own to think things through. I understand."
I was taken aback. Wait. This was for me? But it didn't make sense. I knew I was ready to love him back. Fully. Unconditionally.
I began to protest, but Edward shook his head. "No, stop, Bella. No matter what you say, no matter what you think, you're not ready." He paused. Then, he said it again, more slowly to dig it deeper into my brain. "You're not ready for me."
And then, the tears spilled.
I didn't care about what he said at the moment. What hurt me the most was the fact that he was the one rejecting me this time. Did it hurt just as much when I was hurting him?
"You don't love me anymore," I whispered. Deep down and in the back of my brain, I knew that it wasn't true. But I was having a hard time accepting this rejection that those were the only words that I could think of at the moment. They were stupid words, and they sounded idiotic too. But it was already out.
Edward's gaze lowered. He looked just as pained as I was right now. And yet, those words came out of his mouth. "I'm tired of loving you."
What did that even mean? Nothing made sense right now. My brain wasn't working. It wasn't functioning properly at this most significant moment.
"Don't," I said softly. "Edward, don't do this."
Edward looked back into my eyes. "I'm sorry, Bella." They sounded sincere. He really didn't love me anymore.
We stared at each other for a long moment, unaware of the huge audience surrounding us, who were staring and gaping, shocked at what they were hearing.
I studied his handsome face for a long time, gasping softly for air. And then, I laughed quietly as a tear slid down my cheek. Finally, I looked down at the ground, embarrassed and torn. I'd just gotten rejected in front of the entire school.
Avoiding anyone's eyes, and especially his, I began walking. I pushed past the crowd roughly and hurried to my car.
"Bella," Alice said pleadingly, reaching out a hand as I got close. "Edward is-"
I turned away from her sympathetic hand and yanked open the car door. Ignoring all stares and sympathetic tears, I drove out of there as quickly as I could, wondering if there was a place to hide myself, someplace where I could hide my misery and pain.
Edward's Point of View
I watched as Bella's Audi drove out of sight. I hated myself for saying those words to hurt her on purpose. But I knew this was the best choice for her. I had done the right thing.
I'd let the woman I love go. But if we were meant to be, I knew that she would come back to me when she was ready. I trusted her. All I had to do was wait patiently, and suffer quietly until she returned to her place.
I ignored everyone, who was staring at me accusingly and curiously, wondering why I'd done what I just did. I obviously still loved her. Why had I done it?
"Edward Cullen!" Alice said angrily when I joined the group. "Why did you say that to her? Why did you lie?"
I sighed wearily, quietly. "I didn't lie."
"Oh, yeah?" Alice challenged. "What about that thing you said? 'I'm tired of loving you'? What was that, then?"
"That's not a lie," I said simply as I got into my car. "It's a fact."
Emmett stopped me from closing the door. "What do you mean? You really don't love her anymore?"
I stared at him incredulously. "Do you think I could ever give her up?"
Emmett frowned. "Do you want to explain what you just did to Bella, Edward? Because I'm such a dolt, I want you to tell me." His eyes narrowed.
I shook his hand off. "I'm tired of loving her. I'm exhausted. There's been too much crying and betrayals. I'm tired of loving her, but that doesn't mean I don't love her. I merely gave her some space so that she'll be able to come back to me later."
"And she will," Rosalie realized, understanding what I've done. She stared at me, looking shocked. "You knew that she wouldn't be able to love you until her parents' divorce is settled. Until she's all healed."
"Will you let me go now?" I asked Emmett, who raised his eyebrow.
"Impressive, Cullen," Jasper said, smiling slightly. "But one question. Did you think about how you're going to survive until she comes back?"
My gaze lowered, all my energy drained out of me at once. "I did."
"And?"
I sighed and leaned my head against the doorway as I closed my eyes. "I don't know."
Bella's Point of View
I was all out of tears. I'd been crying my heart out as soon as I'd parked in front of my house. Sobbing, hyperventilating, and yelling in frustration and resentment.
But after about an hour of this, I grew tired of crying, and gradually, my tears had slowed to a stop. Now, I didn't even remember how to cry. I was exhausted.
And with nothing left to do, my brain had decided to think.
Replaying the scene in my mind, I began to realize what Edward had done. He had been pushing me away so that I could collect my thoughts and return to the old Bella that I'd used to be before I'd been scarred with my parents' divorce. While I continued to stress over the separation of Renee and Charlie, I wouldn't be able to give him all my love.
"Stupid idiot," I murmured quietly as I stared out into the windshield. "You're going to be in pain… Even more than me."
I guess Edward really did love me a lot to do this for me, maybe even more than I loved him. How could I ever have rejected him? I must have been insane.
Anyhow, it was too late to change things now. He wouldn't accept my love even if it killed him until I returned with a healed heart.
But the question was, how was I going to heal when my thoughts would turn to him every time? I would miss him every day.
My phone vibrated, and that's when I was brought back down to the reality that I had to face. I realized that the sky was getting slightly darker, and that I had homework to finish. It was beginning to rain as well.
"Hello?" I croaked before quickly clearing my throat.
"Have you been crying, baby?" Renee asked, concerned. "What's wrong? Does it hurt? Should I fly back to Forks?"
"No, no, I'm fine," I said quickly. And then, I stopped. "Wait. Fly back? What do you mean?"
"Oh, I'm in Florida, honey."
"Florida? What's in Florida?"
Renee laughed brightly. "Oh, you're so funny. Phil lives in Florida. Did I never tell you that?"
I shrugged before remembering that she couldn't see me. "So…what? Are you already divorced or something? I thought it was going to take three months until it was finalized."
"It is. Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something."
I sighed. "Mom, I'm so tired. Can we talk about this tomorrow?"
"Um, you want to talk about custody tomorrow?" Renee asked skeptically. "'Cause you know, this is important."
That caught my attention. "Custody? What do you mean?"
"We decided that you're going to be in my care until you become eighteen, Bella. You'll be living with Phil and me down here in Florida."
There was silence. I fought to remember how to speak.
"Bella? You there, baby?"
"A-and…y-you decided…without asking me?" I stammered out, shocked. "You didn't care what I thought? What if I want to stay in Forks, Mom?"
Renee sighed. "I know, Bella. But quite frankly…I think time away from your friends, and especially Edward…would be good for you."
"No!" I retorted. "I'm not going to live with you guys! I'm going to live with Charlie!"
"Bella, don't be ridiculous. It's only a year until you're eighteen. You'll live. Then you'll be off to college."
"My friends?"
"You'll make more here."
"Florida?" I repeated incredulously. "NO."
"You'll get used to the weather. I told you. Time away from Forks will be better for you, I promise. It'll help you heal better."
"Mom, please," I pleaded, tears resurfacing. "I'm not leaving Charlie."
"I want you to get to know Phil, Bella. He'll be your stepfather soon, so it'll be good for both of you."
"Mom!"
"There will be no more discussion," Renee said sternly. "I understand I've been a bad mother for a long time now, but this, I want to do it right. I know I'm doing the right thing. And Charlie is sure about this too. I've already booked a plane for you next month, and you'll be starting school as soon as you get here. It'll be good for you to start in a new semester."
"I'm not leaving Forks until I finish the year," I said stubbornly. "It'll mess up my grades."
"You're smart, you'll catch up. And January in Forks is too dangerous, remember? Snow and rain and everything. It's always hot in Florida. You love hot weather."
"But-"
"No more, Isabella Swan," Renee said. "If you don't come down here on the day you're supposed to, then I'm coming to get you myself, do you understand? Sweet dreams, baby." And she hung up.
I let out a frustrated sound, a mixture of a groan and a moan. How could everyone do this to me?
AN: So she's leaving. Hee. Reviews?
