Author's Note: Enjoy!
Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.
Chapter 39
When the bell rang, the students filed out quickly, heading for lunch. And I remained, putting my head down on the table again, feeling a sense of dèjá vu.
Footsteps once more, and Shawn Ross was in front of me, looking worried. "Anything wrong, Miss Swan?"
I blinked up at him and stayed silent. I couldn't help thinking exactly why girls were attracted to this man. He really was very handsome.
He smiled kindly. "Did you change your mind about telling me your troubles?"
I sat up slowly. "Maybe." I scooted to the side to make room for him.
He sat next to me and waited.
"I have a best friend whom I've known for my entire life," I began. "A little more than a year ago, I found out that he's been in love with me for a long time. And I realized that I've loved him for a while too."
"So what's the problem, then?" He looked confused.
I shrugged. "A lot of things happened. My parents divorced, which affected me a lot." My expression turned sheepish. "I went crazy for a moment and tried to kill myself using my father's gun."
The professor's expression turned shocked. "Why would you do that? And why does your father keep a gun?"
"He's a police chief in our town. I was kind of crazy. There was a lot of pressure on me. I'd just gotten betrayed by a girl whom I thought was my friend, but was actually using me to get closer to the friend I love. It's really complicated."
He looked thoughtful. "Okay, I think I get that. So what's your problem?"
I sighed heavily and leaned back in my seat. I studied my pen as I twirled it around my fingers. "My parents got divorced because my mother had cheated on my father with this guy. My mother got custody of me, and she was going to remarry this new guy. She was moving away to Florida, so naturally, I had to leave my hometown to be with her."
"Ah," he said, nodding. "So you left your friend. The boy you love."
I smiled ruefully. "I wanted him to stop me. I'd rejected his confession before, but I thought I was ready for him after everything we'd been through. But this time, he rejected me. Not because he'd fallen out of love, but because he thought I wasn't ready. He told me to get better, get used to the idea of my parents' divorce and recover from the betrayal. So I moved away."
Shawn was quiet. Finally, he said, "Did you ever see him again?"
"I came back to Washington University to be with all my friends. I saw him with this girl, and I thought it was all over. Until the girl told me personally that she was just a friend and nothing more." I paused, then said, "I want to be with him, Professor. And I know that it's my turn to chase after him. But I'm afraid. So I want to ask you this: What do boys think of girls who confesses to them?"
He started laughing. "What an interesting question."
"I heard they grow disinterested of those girls," I defended myself. "You can't blame me for asking."
"Well, I can't deny the truth behind that," Shawn admitted, smiling. "Some boys do, I think. But I think, if your friend truly does love you, he'll be more than happy to accept you back into his arms. And besides," he added, rising to his feet, "I can't imagine why any boy would refuse to be with such a beautiful girl like you, Miss Swan. I hope that helps you." He nodded at me before walking away.
I was walking toward the cafeteria when someone sang, "Bella!"
I turned around to see Elise prancing toward me happily. I smiled at her cheerfulness. "Hi, Elise."
She threw an arm around me. "Did you think about what I've said, Bella?"
I tried to smile, but it came out like a grimace. "Sure."
"What's your plan on getting rid of Slutty Suzanne?" Elise asked seriously. "Because honestly, I cannot stand one more minute of that blonde. She barely wears anything, with her chest practically bouncing out of her tank top and her miniskirt hardly covering anything. I think you and I should get together and teach her a lesson."
I was bemused. She was talking just as fast as Alice usually did when she was excited about something, and I was finding it hard to keep up.
"Let her breathe, Elise."
I turned again to see a cute guy in a white polo shirt and jeans, his hands in his pockets. He was smiling good-naturedly, and his blonde hair was spiked up carefully.
Elise rolled her eyes. "She's fine. Mind your own business."
"You are my business," the guy said, then held out his hand toward me. "I'm Adam. Elise's boyfriend."
"Oh," I said, smiling and taking his hand. "Nice to meet you, Adam. I'm Bella."
"I know," Adam said. "She talks about you all the time. It's always how Bella does this and how Bella does that, and how Edward is obsessed with her, and how beautiful you are, and how gorgeous you are. I just had to see you for myself; I got so curious."
I laughed. "I'm flattered."
Adam nodded. "I can see where Elise is coming from. Maybe I should dump blabbermouth here and go for you instead. What do you think of me, Bella?"
Elise pouted. "That's not funny. I'm mad at you." She turned away childishly, but I found it cute instead of disgusting. Elise was one of those people who didn't have to act cute to be cute. All in all, with Adam's cute features and Elise's cute actions, they were a cute couple.
"Aw, baby, you know I was kidding," Adam said, reaching for her.
Elise stuck out her tongue. "Whatever. I'm ditching you to eat with Bella."
Adam was the one pouting now. "Please, baby? Don't leave me."
At this point, I had witnessed too much cuteness to tolerate it any longer. I felt like puking. "Uh, if you'll excuse me, I'll leave you two to argue." I began walking away.
"If you think I'm going to tolerate you checking out another girl – Bye, Bella! – then think again, mister!"
"Baby, I was just joking – Nice meeting you, Bella! – and you know how much I love you."
I waved over my shoulder without looking back, smiling. They were such a cute couple.
I stopped dead when I saw Edward in front of me, walking toward Alice, Jasper, Emmett, and Rosalie, who were sitting in the corner table. Did I want to face him after last night? What if the atmosphere became awkward?
I blinked in confusion when a blonde girl intercepted him. She linked an arm through his and stood on her tiptoes to kiss him on the cheek.
I felt like I'd been slapped. Had yesterday been a show? A lie? Even Elise's words?
Unfortunately, Alice had seen me. She rose to her feet and called, "Bella!"
I widened my eyes in horror. Why had she called my name? I had been planning on just slipping away so that no one could find me in devastation. All hope was lost after all.
Edward heard her, of course. He whirled around, and our eyes met. For a moment, it was as if time had stopped. Everything stopped moving, and there was only the two of us in here. And then, I snapped out of it, and I turned and ran out of the cafeteria.
I brushed past Adam and Elise, who were still arguing. I heard Elise call after me, confused. And then, I heard her scolding, "Edward, what did you do to her?"
I couldn't do this anymore. I couldn't keep fighting for him. I had no more energy left to do so, and if I really wasn't meant to be with Edward, so be it. I was tired of better, prettier girls competing with me for Edward's affections, and I knew I could never compare.
Forget confessing my feelings to him. I was giving up.
AN: The next chapter will probably be the last one. Until then, keep them reviews coming!
Also, since three of my stories are ending soon, leaving one left (Desire), I decided to post two more new stories. To give you a little hint on what they're going to be about...
The first one is going to be called Gardenia. It's rather historical, but pretty original. The second one is going to be called Secretary. This one's modern, and I think the title is pretty self-explanatory.
I think I gave away too much. Or did I? Wink, wink. Excited?
