He's here again, he can feel it without even opening his eyes. The adrenaline is already beginning to course through his veins with an increasing timber of expectancy, his heart already starting to race in anticipation of what lies ahead. This time there is no initial panic, his thoughts already long past that fear filled moment of uncertainty, focusing only on the thought of seeing those eyes again, of feeling that touch once more, as the cloaked stranger shows him how to feel like he's genuinely desired and desirable again.
Opening his eyes now and looking around, his heart-filled wish is met, as they meet again across the shrouded room, his cloaked companion and he. Once again, those captivating eyes are looking back at him in that way he has yet to understand, even as they draw him in and almost immediately fill him with so much want and need, it leaves him nearly begging out loud to be touched. Just as he'd hoped; it's as if they're picking up right where they left off, desire already beginning to stir from within him.
The feeling of de-je-vu sweeps over him unexpectedly, sending a shiver up his spine while the rational part of his brain splinters away, complaining that this suddenly feels too new and too frighteningly surreal. Instantly he finds himself frozen as if witnessing this from someone else's body since he's not sure what that what he's feeling is even real or even remotely close to what his mystery man's feelings are.
In a weird wave of emotional vulnerability that hits with his next breath, Tim feels as if every positive emotion he felt last night has just disappeared; leaving him empty and devoid of the memories. He finds himself immediately beginning to search for the answers all over again but before he can even struggle to make sense of this pendulum he seems to be swinging on, his attention is drawn to movement across the room as the cloaked figure shifts and begins to move. How should he think of this mysterious stranger? His lover?
Wow, that sounds so strange even as it sends a thrill to his heart. Suddenly, that wave of emptiness is gone as quickly as the distance between them is eaten up by the steps his shadowed man of mystery has just quickly taken to seal the gap. Tim remembers now, exactly how he felt when he stood here before; remembers it in vivid detail.
He refuses to close his eyes now, just as he had then, not wanting to miss this moment either, as once again, that beautiful and still silent mouth descends on his own in a replay of the last time he was here. Just as he'd hoped, it instantly develops into another gentle, provocative kiss, this time, a kiss he knows with absolute certainty, he'd give his last breath for.
It's only a minute before Tim suddenly lets go of his internal struggle for a moment and begins to give back into the powerful kiss he can't get enough of, his own mouth seeking more and now the kiss has morphed into two mouths urgently sliding and pressing together, both thirsty to drink from the other, even as his shadowed lover begins to wrap him in his strong arms and hold him without reservation.
The sensory part of his brain shouts for joy and demands that Tim embrace every minute of this sensual ride he doesn't want to disembark from, while disbelief at his own reckless behavior fills the sensible part of his mind also fighting to be heard.
Having this man in his arms, kissing him, finding out what it's like to really make out with another man for the very first time as being in this place has come to mean to him, soon has his trousers uncomfortably tight, heightening the pleasure he feels beginning to rip through him Tim's lost in the moment as their lips continue meshing and dancing together, eager tongues now dueling and thrusting against each other searchingly as their passions climb to even new heights.
He no longer feels in control of the and it's an unfamiliar feeling but then again, he's never kissed a man before either and it's feeling really good. So good, Tim can't stop the moan that escapes his throat as he remains locked into the kiss.
Once again, the rational part of his mind is calling to be heard. How can he be so wanton as to give in to this when he doesn't even know who this is making out with him in such in increasingly passionate, sensuous way? What possessed him to do it the last time?
Amidst the tangling of mouths and the sought after embrace, his sensory receptive mind attempts to calm the rational one, refusing to stop trying to rationalize what's happening, claiming that it has to be someone he cares about – there's no way it could be someone he didn't know and know well. Come to think of it, there's no way this is real in the first place! But, oh, God, this passionate, endless kissing! It feels like he's died and gone to heaven to be kissed like this and to be able to give back into it without fear!
And those eyes! It would be so easy to get lost in those pools of welcoming desire! His brain stopped mid-gear once more. Could he already know who this was? Surely this couldn't be…..."
Still it would be nice to just go with the flow, the pleasure seeking side of his brain somehow manages to be heard since the rest of his body has also risen to the occasion, his boxers so tight now, it's beginning to be painful. God knows it felt so right the last time and oh, man, it feels so right this time too! He somehow knows deep down inside that he's safe here.
Before he can think on any of this more, he's pulled even closer into the embrace that now seems to literally wrap him in a blanket of protection and appreciation, as if his mystery lover can't get enough of him. Tim can't help but melt deeper into the whole experience just as easily as he'd melted into it before. This time, his eyes close without a struggle since he's already given up control without a second thought or concern, no longer worried about any of it, too caught up in the ecstasy he's awash in.
Tim's heart squeezes tightly for a moment at the rush of overpowering emotion that fills him with sense of being protected by his once again cloaked companion, showing him another glimpse of what it feels like to be wanted without strings.
It's so effortless to trust in what he's seeing. Can he trust equally as easily in what he's feeling? Or will it just become yet another dagger through the heart and hurt like hell when this dream gets ripped away from him, never to return?
God, I wish I could wrap myself up in this feeling and never let it go! Tim's heart cries out with both despair and longing.
He feels a mixed wave of disbelief and incredulousness and even intense sadness rise up so quickly he fears he'll drown in it, as that sensible part of his thinking process fires off yet another warning shot, this isn't real! It can't be real! No one EVER wants you like this!
Instantly, strong, yet comforting arms begin to soothe him in comforting strokes up and down his back for a long wonderful moment before returning to enfold him once more, soothing his nerves and loosening the grip of disbelief, almost as if they've read his mind. Tim buries his head into the comforting embrace, too emotionally drained and needy to fight it any longer.
It isn't long before his emotionally starved sensory thought patterns begin to rationalize what his physical body has already decided to quit fighting and enjoy. Who is he to look such a long sought after gift horse in the mouth? This is just a dream, right? It isn't like he's giving his heart away again. That part of himself is safe here, isn't it?
Tossing his inhibitions aside, Tim throws himself into the here and now, letting his passion loose for the first time ever, returning not only the kiss now, but the caressing embrace as well, his hands beginning to travel soothing paths across his mystery lover's back as he loses himself into the moment with complete abandon.
**BEEP** *BEEP**BEEP** **BEEP** *BEEP****BEEP** *BEEP**
********NCIS*******
Once again, Tim found himself ripped from his erotic dream as he lay half-awake in bed; he blinked several times trying to assimilate himself back to the present. Wiping a shaky hand across his face, he frowned as he glanced at the noisy offensive device that had pulled him back to his lonely reality, sighing with exhaustion as his brain registered the fact that it was in fact, 5 A.M. Time to get up and face the day; leaving the dream behind; again.
He was still turned on, so much so, he didn't dare even attempt to let anything brush up against his groin now. Breathing out slowly and deliberately, he forced himself to calm down and trample down on the emotions this roller coaster ride of dreams and reality had brought out. He can't afford this time spent trying to sort through it all. Work came first and couldn't be sacrificed for the sake of trying to make sense of this mess.
In a moment of released frustration, he raised his arm up and brought it down hard on the alarm clock, effectively shutting off its racket. Closing his eyes in an attempt to pull his scattered thoughts together, Tim found himself feeling such a wave of frustration, it brought burning moisture to his eyes and he recognized that it was close to becoming an anger unwilling to be squelched.
The emotional chaos he felt in his dream seemed to have drained him even more now as he struggled with sitting up and forcing himself to get out of bed and head for the shower. Once again, he stopped in the hallway and glanced at himself in the mirror, seeing as he expected, that he was still seriously looking worn out but at least his other brain had cooled off enough that his boxers were no longer tented. With a frown, Tim turned and headed to the shower, this time determined to not let anything stop him from getting ready for work.
His normal routine needed to be ready to face the day normally only took thirty minutes, took forty-five minutes this morning and had Tim seriously close to being late by the time he could fully separate the events of his dream from the here and now and what lie ahead of him for the day enough for him to be able to drive safely. He just hoped he could continue to keep Tony out of his personal business.
***NCIS***
"Hey Probie, you look like you're still missing out on sleep!" Tony blurted out the minute Tim stepped off the elevator at work at 6:50 in the morning. "You're almost late again, too. Starting a new trend are we? A new look; the walking dead, maybe?"
Shocked that the older man would actually be at work before him and equally tripped up by the words of Tony's first declaration that hit right on target for the truth, it was all Tim could do to not stop and stare with his mouth dropped open. Somehow, he managed to shake his head slightly without a word while continuing on to his desk.
It wasn't Tony's fault that Tim hadn't been able to actually find restful sleep in the midst of these strangely sensual dreams that he had yet to figure out or even come to grips with.
Taking Tim's shaking head for a negative answer, Tony launched himself into full disbelief mode. "No? You're telling me the reason you don't look rested has nothing to do with your boring life full of plenty of opportunity to get sleep? No way! Do NOT tell me you look so ragged out because you were busy getting busy with a chic! No way, man."
Feeling beyond exhausted and stressed out more than usual, Tony's barb punched the wrong button for the younger man. Tim dropped his bag on the floor and stalked up to Tony until he was mere inches from his face.
"I'm not telling you any such thing, DiNozzo. But, I am telling you this. From now on, my sex life is none of your damned business!"
Turning away, Tim snatched up his coffee mug and stalked from the squad room, in desperate need for a fresh cup of the caffeine jolt his mind was screaming for.
"What the hell was that?" Tony asked incredulously, as he turned to look at Ziva.
Having watched the interplay between the two men, the Israeli beauty was grinning from ear to ear. That little showdown had been a long time in coming and although it hadn't been a blowup like she'd been expecting and actually looking forward to, it had still been fun to watch.
"That's what I wanna know, DiNozzo." Gibbs barked as he sauntered in and walked over to his desk without so much as a look over toward Tim's desk.
"Boss, I…" Tony stammered.
"You what, Tony? Can't speak, all of a sudden?" Gibbs smirked as he sat down and got busy going through his emails, what few of them there were.
"No, Boss, I just don't know what just happened here." Tony whined.
"It sounded to me like McGee finally told you to stop talking about his sex life, Tony." Ziva volunteered cheekily.
Gibbs glared at his Senior Field Agent from across the room.
"Boss, I…" Tony stammered.
"Is that right?" the boss wanted to know.
"I guess you could call it that." The Senior Field Agent admitted unwillingly.
"Sounds like good advice, DiNozzo." Gibbs commented before ending the conversation without another word as he picked up the phone and made a call.
***NCIS***
Tim returned to the squad room to find the boss on the phone and Tony sitting morosely behind his desk, looking like someone had just kicked his prized car. Ziva, on the other hand, was looking quite pleasantly satisfied and was quick to look Tim's way and smile at him encouragingly. Tim gave her back a small smile that didn't quite reach his tired eyes as he rounded his desk before he sat down and got busy going through emails and such; thereby setting the normal workday in motion once more.
It took a great deal of effort and a hell of a lot of self-discipline not to look across the room at Gibbs since the last thing Tim needed was a repeat of what had happened yesterday. His never-ending litany of thoughts still focused on those dreams continued to egg him on in spite of his determination to block them out. Look at him, let's see those eyes again. You know you want to….you know what they do to you when you look into them. Go on! Look at him! Get him to look this way! You know you wanna get lost in those depths again! Go on!
Shaking his head in an effort to send those troublemaking thoughts scattering to the far corners of his mind, Tim frowned. He couldn't afford this kind of distraction at work. The last thing he needed was Gibbs demanding an explanation for why he kept looking at him, the way he had yesterday. It wasn't something he could talk about, to anyone; most especially Gibbs!
Suddenly, it was as if his thoughts had rallied the troops and won the war, his eyes joining the mutiny as they traveled across the room and fixated on the boss. Luckily, Gibbs seemed completely unaware of Tim's dilemma this time, never even raising his eyes up from his work. With a small shake of his head, Tim forcibly returned his attention to his work once more, and the moment passed with no one the wiser.
Since the boss remained silently working at his desk and never once looked up or spoke to him personally, the morning passed with no incident and nothing that dragged Tim's attention away from his work. While he wasn't completely lost in his world of cyber searches this morning, he was busy enough that he remained focused on work for the remainder of the morning without any problem.
It felt like the morning would drag on forever with everything seeming to be happening in slow motion. Somehow, the day managed to progress on into the lunch hour and, desperate for the chance to get out of the office and breathe, Tim offered to make the lunch run, even offering to treat everyone to a sandwich at the local sub shop. For a change of pace and the need for help bringing back the food, Tim asked Jimmy to go with him, knowing the younger man never got to get out much and never got to spend time bonding with anyone on the team. He also knew that having someone along who would not delve into Tim's private life or push him to talk when he didn't want to would help him keep his mind away from his dreams. It would be easy to focus their conversation on things Jimmy liked to talk about. All Tim had to do was get the younger man to admit what they were.
As they talked amicably about everything from astrology to botony, the two made quick work of getting lunch brought back and it seemed to lighten the mood and the improve the pace of the day. Sure enough, it isn't but a few minutes after they'd finished eating and gotten back into their perusing of the cold cases that the phone rang and a callout came in.
"Gear up. Missing Petty Officer in Norfolk."
"Whoa, Boss. Why'd they call us?" Tony asked without seeming to think about his question.
"Might be because of the missing money he is charged with safeguarding, DiNozzo." The boss threw out there with a touch of sarcasm.
"Oh, well, yeah. That would be our jurisdiction." The Senior Field Agent answered knowingly.
"Glad it meets with your approval, Tony." Gibbs smirked at his Senior Agent's look of embarrassment.
Tim closed his eyes. If Tony is in his typical mood, this conversation would come back to bite them all in the ass and he really didn't want to be a part of it. The elevator car jolted into its' stop position and the troupe of agents all filed out and began their trek to the car lot for an agency vehicle.
"Shotgun." Tim threw out there calmly as he realized no one had called it. Three sets of eyes speared him with glares although one set quickly changed from the glare to a look of amusement and is that a touch of pride?
"Not fair." Tony griped.
"Tony, would you stop being such a baby?" Ziva demanded. "You are just angry because McGee spoke up when he realized we had not done so."
"I always ride shotgun when Gibbs drives." Tony groused.
"Have to get it like everybody else, DiNozzo." Gibbs reminded him with a smirk as they all climbed in and headed out to the crime scene.
****NCIS****
Two hours later, they found themselves loading up their gear and the criminal at the end of what turned out to be an exhausting chase for clues and solid leads. During the course of the investigation, Gibbs had sent Tony and Ziva back to NCIS for a second vehicle and had split the three agents up in different directions for questioning different persons of interests. The missing man and the missing money were eventually found by his girlfriend who was too honest to let the man get away with the theft. She immediately called Gibbs who had left his card with her earlier in the day and both sets of agents had raced to pick up the wanted man.
Upon their arrival, it was blatantly obvious that the Petty Officer wasn't going down without a fight. Before all was said and done, Tim found himself on the receiving end of the man's ire when he'd attempted to cuff the thief and if it hadn't been for Gibbs' stepping between Tim and the angry man, the younger agent would have gotten one serious kick to the ribs.
As it was, the boss was now sporting a seriously wrenched wrist, holding it up on his shoulder so it wouldn't get jarred as he stood looking his agents over to make sure none of them had gotten hurt in the melee. It had eventually taken all of them working together to get the stubborn criminal subdued and cuffed and they were all sporting at least a bruise or two, much like the time they'd taken on the Marine, Damon Worth when he'd been spaced out on steroids.
Tim was busy putting their gear back in the trunk of the car and Tony and Ziva were quite busy wrestling their dirt bag into the backseat of the agency vehicle and as Gibbs looked them over, he felt a wave of pride at their stamina and determination as well as their willingness to see that the bad guys get caught and justice is served. A commotion from the back of the car sent his attention toward his youngest agent.
McGee had already been looking pretty worn out and ragged before this case; but now, he looked downright wrung out and almost ready to fall out from exhaustion.
Tony and Ziva were both seething with anger; Tony at the probie for letting the boss get hurt; Ziva at the law breaking Petty Officer. Feeling their anger radiating off of them, Gibbs silently nodded Tony and Ziva in the direction of the second car that had arrived to transport the criminal, directing them to ride back with the guy and keep the guy in their custody. With one last glare in Tim's direction, Tony did what he was told and got in the second car with Ziva right behind him.
Gibbs handed Tim the keys without a word, and got into the passenger seat of the agency sedan. Just as silently, Tim got behind the wheel and started the car up, carefully driving them towards the Navy Yard, his attention fully on the road in front him. The first fifteen minutes of the drive home is eerily silent, with Tim feeling the weight of guilt like a ten-ton brick on his shoulders. Once again, Gibbs had gotten hurt and once again, it is Tim's fault, just like it had been when that car had knocked the boss' shoulder out when Gibbs had pushed Tim out of the way.
Stopped at a red light before the entrance ramp to the beltway, Tim found himself blinking hard to push the tears of frustration and guilt away. God, why did someone always get hurt or killed around him? And why is it always Gibbs? He'd do anything for this man and all he ever seemed to do for him is get him hurt, for cryin' out loud! Guess he had one hell ofa head slap comin' Hell, Gibbs is probably gonna wipe the floor with him once his wrist is better! No doubt, Tony is waitin' to do just that when Tim got back to D.C.
"Knock it off, McGee." Gibbs grouched without opening his eyes or even picking his head up off the back of the seat where it lay while he rested.
"Yes, Boss." Tim answered demurely.
The worry must have come through in his voice just as it showed on his face, as the boss finally opened his eyes and looked at the younger man, meeting his gaze half way across the distance between them. With an audible sigh of obvious exhaustion, Gibbs spoke again, without letting go of Tim's gaze. "Not your fault, McGee."
With his eyes locked on those of his boss, Tim's mouth dropped and his breath hitched in his throat. Frozen in shock, he didn't notice the light turn green. The honking horns behind them finally got his attention and he turned his eyes back to the road as his brain scrambled to make sense of what can't be happening. Those eyes! I'm not crazy! But, that can't be right! It's too surreal! I'm seriously overworked if my boss is following me home in my dreams!
Never had Tim been so thankful to that he'd missed an entrance ramp to the freeway than at that very moment, as he quickly turned into the nearest gas station, desperately needing to get out of the car and take in some more air, quickly before he asphyxiated from shock. Floundering around mentally, Tim struggled with figuring out what the hell was going on with Gibbs since this was the first time he'd spoken to Tim like this without provocation. and those eyes that wouldn't stop haunting him.
As he nearly launched himself from the car almost before he had it in park, the young man never even looked back at his passenger, missing the look of concern that played out across the older man's face, his blue eyes narrowed with outright worry seldom seen.
