AN: Hi everyone! I'm so happy for all the support you've given me. If I hadn't first fallen sick and then had to work like a madman I would have updated this earlier. Instead I'll try to get the next chapter up faster.

Someone pointed out that parts of my grammar needed some work and I do agree with that, but I don't know how to fix it. If anyone is interested in helping me beta to correct these things it would be greatly appreciated.

.oOo.

Had anyone decided to go for a night-time walk through the dungeons of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry on a late October night 1996 they would have run into an unexpected sight. Luckily enough for Remus no one seemed inclined to go for such a walk, and he could keep his post outside Snape's living quarters without having to hide.

The night was turning chilly and not even Lupin's warmest cloak could keep the icy fingers of the draft out so he cast a quick warming charm on his clothes. For a second he thought that a cushioning charm on the floor might help making him more comfortable but he dismissed it since he didn't want to fall asleep.

A few days after his last encounter with Snape Remus had gone to Harry and asked if he could keep the Marauder's Map for a while longer. The official reason had been that he wanted to see if he could make a second one, but what he really wished to do was keep an eye on the potions master. For almost two weeks he had been on school grounds every time Lupin had checked and then tonight he had suddenly been gone. Since his colleague weren't the kind to pop over to Hogsmede for a butterbeer and small talk, and since it was now almost two o'clock in the night, Remus could bet ten galleons that there was a Death Eater meeting going on.

After the night when Remus had found Severus bloody and shaking on the floor of his living room the balance between the two men had changed. For several days Snape hadn't tried to insult him in public once, in fact the man ignored him completely except for the occasional hateful glare shot his way. Remus guessed that the man was worried that the explosive blackmailing material he now had on him should be exposed at the slightest provocation. But since Remus showed no signs of even remembering the incident their relationship had soon gone back to its normal hateful state. Yet no matter what he conveyed on the outside Remus could never forget that night.

Lupin had liked hating Snape, it was so much easier than this. He still hated his colleague - he thought - but now every time he saw the mean and condescending man another picture flickered across his eyes. It was as if there were two different Snapes, the one he had known since they were eleven and then the one he had sat with on the floor while the man got his breathing back under control.

At least his dilemma might be solved for good tonight. Snape would most definitely waste no time to rip his throat wide open and then he wouldn't have to think at all any more.

Glancing down at his old map once again he saw that Severus was making his way back, having already got as far as the front doors. He wiped the map clean, put it in his pocket and stood up, waiting for the other man to show. He guessed he would still have a few minutes to live. It was good while it lasted.

When Snape rounded the corner Lupin couldn't immediately pick up anything out of the ordinary, apart from the fact that the man hadn't killed him yet. As the Death Eather discovered him he scowled, giving Remus a look that made him wish he hadn't come in the first place. Well, there was no backing down now. He was not about to lose this fight.

"What are you doing here" the voice was like silk but the underlying threat was in plain view. "And don't try to blame it on another potion, you don't need it for two more days, werewolf" the last word was as usual spoken with an icy air of insult.

"I…" Remus didn't know what to say "I just wanted to make sure you were alright" he finally blurted out, glancing at the furious man in front of him. Snape was obviously tense but that could very well be because he was trying so hard not to whip out his wand and kill the obnoxious idiot in front of him.

"And why, pray tell me, wouldn't I be fine?" Lupin didn't even dare to answer that question, instead he looked down at the floor. "Now get out of my face, before I curse you into next month, you have no right to be here" with the threat the man took a step toward the object of his anger.

Lupin couldn't help the gasp that escaped his lips as the other man moved. Where he had stood there was a puddle of dark crimson liquid on the floor. "You're bleeding" he stated softly.

"I'm quite aware of that myself, thank you. Now LEAVE!" was the hissed reply.

.oOo.

Snape wasn't a stupid man, he knew he had to get that foot of his bandaged real soon to stop the blood flow. There wasn't much longer until he would begin to feel the loss of the vital liquid, he'd been around enough times to tell. But tonight he couldn't just take a blood-replenishing potion since it would interact in a horrible way with the other potion in his system.

He just hadn't been composed enough when he was called earlier that evening. Thoughts had been tumbling around in his head like a herd of pixies that had been fed with sugar and his occlumency had been affected accordingly. In the end he had been forced to take the chance of downing a mild calming-draught, one of his own very secret concoctions that left no traces for anyone to find. Should his master discover that he needed potions to manage a meeting the consequences would be most dire, not to mention what would happen should he discover why he needed them.

It was always a wild chance taking this potion though, so he did it as little as possible. The ingredients reacted badly with key elements of almost every pain and healing potion and Severus himself wasn't that good with medical charms. That meant that if there was any reason for his master to torture him on one of those nights he was in monumental trouble.

Tonight hadn't been that bad considering how it could have ended. Someone had overlooked a concealed gun carried by a muggle prisoner and the desperate man had tried to shoot his way out of captivity. A young girl who was a new recruit among the Death Eaters had been hit in the stomach but had been healed up quickly with a few potions. Unfortunately another ricocheting bullet had hit Severus in the foot, but he had managed to hide the white hot pain that travelled up the length of his leg and got away without treatment.

The good news was that muggle wounds could be treated with muggle methods and he could deal with the pain, he was used to considerably worse. The bad news was that he needed his foot wrapped up right now and the annoying half human in front of him showed no signs of leaving.

Glaring at the man in front of him didn't seem to work and nor did threats so the wounded man was left with no choice. He could feel the giddiness starting to seep in as the blood kept draining from his body and his heart was beating fast to make up for the decreased blood volume. In the end he just gave Lupin one last hateful look before sweeping around and opening the door.

Remus reacted before his colleague had the time to close the door and pressed inside, seemingly a little surprised that the other man didn't literally kick him back out. Severus whipped out his wand and to his satisfaction the werewolf flinched. Had it been any other time he would have hexed the intruder, but right now he didn't have the energy nor the time, instead he just accioed his first-aid kit.

The DADA teacher watched paralysed how his colleague sat down on his sofa and pulled his left shoe and sock of. The foot was a mess of blood with one nasty looking jagged wound in the middle but Severus had actually been expecting worse. Carefully he placed the foot on the table and slipped a pair of fresh white surgery gloves on his hands. With only the slightest of flinch he began prodding around in the wound.

"What are you doing?" Lupin asked, sounding as if he couldn't believe his eyes.

"I have to get the bullet out now, haven't I?" the question was only rhetorical.

"Why not got to Pomfrey for a potion? Or, I don't know, can't you like summon it? With Accio?"

Snape snorted at the question. "You think I couldn't give myself the potions, were I able to take them?" The other man actually blushed faintly and shrugged.

"As for summoning it out, you'd have to use far more sophisticated spells than Accio, trust me you do not want to try that one." Finally managing to locate the offending piece of metal lodged in his foot Snape tried to get a hold of it. The bloodstream from his foot had grown due to the disturbance and he was beginning to get really light-headed.

Severus made sure to keep any signs of the pain away from his face or body language. It was a habit he would have kept up even if Lupin wasn't there. Still he couldn't contain a slight shake in his hands that had set in once the adrenaline begun receding.

"Doesn't it hurt?" it had been a stupid question and as such, it got a stupid and sarcastic answer.

"Oh no, not at all, feels quite pleasantly actually, though I am a bit ticklish" Snape took the time to glare at the other man. He at least had the decency to look ashamed.

When Severus a few seconds later managed to get a good grip of the bullet and pulled it out his hands were shaking pretty badly. The blood loss made him feel disconnected from the world, as if he were watching himself from the outside. To get the children safe cap off the bottle of antiseptics proved itself to be a challenge but it eventually co-operated and came away. Snape couldn't help a small hiss that escaped his lips as he poured it in the wound and wiped the excess blood away.

Since he could close the wound magically tomorrow there were no need for stitches. Instead the potions master carefully sealed the hole with surgical tape and brought out some gauze to cover it with a compression bandage.

.oOo.

Remus watched his colleague fumble with the gauze for a few seconds before stepping forward.

"Here" he carefully took the roll from the other man "let me do it." Snape didn't even protest so he guessed the other man was worse off than he had thought.

"How much blood have you lost?" he asked gently as he wrapped the foot with steady hands.

Severus shrugged "I don't know. Pretty much but not enough to be lethal." The fact that the other man seemed to know pretty well where the line for 'lethal' went didn't pass Remus by.

While Remus put the finishing touches to the bandage Snape cleaned up the blood around them using cleaning spells but they were sloppily done. The question of why Snape didn't take blood-replenishing, healing or pain potions swirled around in Lupin's head but he kept it to himself. He figured the other man must have his reasons and would most definitely not like him snooping around for them.

Standing up he walked out the door to banish the bloodstains on the floor outside, there was no need to scare the students unnecessarily. Coming back inside he saw that the resident of the rooms was making his way over to what he guessed was the bedroom, limping and swaying a little as he walked slowly with one hand on the wall.

Moving up next to his enemy from the school-days Remus put his right arm around Severus' torso and manoeuvred his left arm over his own shoulders. The normally pale skin looked even more pallid than usual and it was cold and clammy to the touch.

"I can walk on my own, thank you," the man muttered grumpily trying to get away.

"I know you can, I'm not stupid, but since I'm here I might as well help," Remus answered matter-of-factly. The other man let out a sceptical grunt but allowed himself to be led down the hallway to the bedroom, another sign that not all was as it should be.

"You can leave now" Severus said the moment they reached the door, his voice betraying no feeling whatsoever "I can take it from here." He stepped away from Remus to lean against the doorframe instead.

Meeting the other mans eyes Remus tried to find the right way to say goodbye; the normal platitudes just didn't cut it. 'Take care' sounded ridiculous, even to him, and 'sleep well' or 'good night' both seemed a bit too ironical given the state of the man in front of him. In the end he said nothing, instead he reached out placing his hand on Severus upper arm for a few seconds. Giving it a small squeeze he turned around and walked back to his own rooms, taking away the bloodied footprints on the way.

.oOo.

Severus Snape didn't know whether to be pissed at the man who had waited outside of his door as he came home, or if he should be grateful for his help. He settled with a little bit of both, this night he couldn't have gone back to clean the blood from the hallway but he felt confident Lupin had already done so on his way home.

Alone in the darkness, slightly delirious from the blood loss and unbelievably tired, Snape could for once admit to himself that it had felt nice having someone who seemed to give a damn about whether he would live or die. It had been nice, but he had to end it.

The way that the softly spoken words about it being okay to be weak nearly scattered him a few weeks ago still had Severus petrified. He hadn't even been able to drive the man away, all his willpower had been bent on keeping him from breaking into thousands of minuscule razor sharp shards. Shards that would have left him bleeding to death right there on his living-room floor, encircled by the arms of his childhood enemy.

In Severus' world being weak was never okay. One moment of weakness was all it took for someone to bring him down in utter destruction and then he could no longer keep his work for the order up and running. Without the information he brought them the order would be severely emolliated and he would also loose his way to atone for his previous and future sins.

In many ways Severus Snape cherished the pain he suffered, it kept him alive feeding him the strength to keep his heart beating and allowing him to draw in air that would be black and poisonous coming back out. The pain was his punishment for all the terrible crimes he had committed, it was his redemption. Severus allowed the darkness to spin its tight web around him, he even invited it, because he wanted to make sure he never forgot what a monster he really was.

Still in that very moment it didn't matter that he was a monster, nor that he didn't do physical contact. Even if he didn't like to admit it Severus could tell that being able to feel the rhythm of another human's breathing was addictive. The feeling of someone else just being there, not shying away from all the dark things in his life, was so tranquillising he could barely stand it.

He wouldn't want Lupin as a lover, most definitely not, but it had felt so good to have someone around who held him close on nights like that. To have someone who would lend him the steady rhythm of their breath when his own seemed to have stopped working. He had gone so long without the need for human touch, but it had felt so good and he despised himself for it.

This thing that was going on with Lupin had to stop, he would make sure of it. He didn't need it, and more importantly he didn't want it.

.oOo.

TBC