A/N: Two Important notes:

1. Cleaning, editing and slightly touching up as I post these chapters… – hence any differences spotted if anyone's read it over there already. I'll be exchanging them with the ones posted on NFA Community

2. We will begin to see that Gibbs in love or even in very serious pursuit of love is more talkative and emotional than the Gibbs we know until now. So, please don't shoot the storyteller if he seems different.

Onward we go….to my favorite chapter…..


Tim's breath caught in his throat. "What? You? How…?" Tim stepped back in shock. Now Tim felt a wave of disbelief and incredulousness rise up so quickly, he feared he'd drown in it. This wasn't the same person he knew and had worked with all these years. This wasn't the same stand-offish, less than emotional person he'd come to know and love and long for!

"There's always something about ourselves that we keep locked away from the rest of the world, Tim" That wonderful, soothing, achingly comforting voice reminded him now. "Done my own research. Exploring. Enjoying, years ago. Nothin' wrong with it. It's all a matter of personal choice and keeping it all private" Gibbs' matter of fact tone belied the emotional journey it had been for him, making it sound like it truly was no big deal.

Tim turned and walked out of the room, his breathing ragged and his heart racing. The painful struggles these past few weeks to reconcile his ever increasingly erotic dreams with the reality that he was in fact becoming tuned into and turned on by his very straight boss, made this conversation; this moment, surreal now.

Now, he was finding out the man swung that way when he wanted to. It was too much like dangling candy in front of a baby who had no teeth and didn't even have the words to voice his needs or wants. He felt tears prick at his eyelids and he quickly blinked them away as he fought to get his breathing under control. Fate was taunting him in the cruelest of ways.

"Tim." Gibbs spoke from just two feet away from him where he'd come to check on him. Watching him let his emotions run away from him had almost torn the boss' heart out. "You don't have to hide it anymore."

Tim turned his shocked expression to Gibbs', unable to keep it private any longer. "Wha…?"

"I've watched you fight to keep this away from Tony's nosey snooping; consistently turn down the team drink nights and movie nights. Noticed the way you've been avoiding me here lately but couldn't stop staring at me for the past few weeks. Knew something was botherin' ya. Wasn't hard to put it together when I saw you in that bar tonight." Gibbs explained quietly without censure. "Doesn't change what I just said. You don't have to hide it anymore."

But you…?" Tim started to question to clear up his confusion.

"Wanna be here for you."

"As my wingman." Tim clarified as he walked back to the living room and sat down on the couch, needing to move to remind himself he wasn't dreaming this.

The older man followed Tim, sitting down next to him but with plenty of space between them. "For starters." Gibbs admitted all the while nearly dying inside at having to keep his distance and let Tim find his way to him when he was ready. He'd done all he could to get the ball rolling and it wouldn't be fair to either of them; but most especially to Tim, if Gibbs were to bulldoze ahead without letting Tim find his own way, with help of course.

"I can't do this; not with you." Tim was quick to throw up yet another wall, just as he'd been doing for the past few weeks. Tim looked away for a mere second. Looking back, he looked back at the older man directly, unable to say what he needed to without seeing his eyes. "I can't do this. I need this to be real. I thought I could live in these dreams that have been driving me insane for the past few weeks, but I can't. It's too real but not real enough." He launched himself off the couch and over to the window, leaning heavily against the window frame where it met the wall, his heart beating wildly, his desolation and pain at yet another kick in the heart, so close to the surface, he felt tears scald his eyelids as he fiercely held them back.

A calming hand gently came down on his neck and gently squeezed as tender lips ghosted across his ear, soft words reaching his inner turmoil. "I promise you this is real, Tim."

The younger man whipped his head around, disbelief strewn across his traitorously wet face.

"Have I ever lied to you?" Gibbs asked with complete seriousness while he gently used the pad of his thumb to wipe the errant tear from Tim's face; trying to reach out and touch the younger man reassuringly.

Nervously, Tim pulled away, his stubborn mind still not convinced he wasn't dreaming. "No." He answered the question without hesitation, hating himself for the uncertainty and fear he felt and was reacting to.

"Not gonna force you, Tim. Would like to know why it is that you feel you can't do this, though."

"I kinda like my job."

"You really think I'd let this affect your career?"

"Rules are rules." Although the answer seemed flippant, the tone Tim spoke in was far from it.

"Just so we're clear, what rule is it that's got you so wound up?" Gibbs double checked to clarify what it was that was standing in the young man's way of this.

Tim shook his head. He couldn't have this conversation. How in the hell was he supposed to admit to Gibbs that he wanted him so badly he could almost taste it?

Suddenly, a warm breath ghosted in Tim's ear as a gentle voice spoke to him. "You're afraid to tell me what's really going through that brain of yours. Don't be. I meant what I said, Tim. I'm here for you. Talk to me."

Tim unconsciously leaned back against the sudden solid wall of comfort that had come with the soothing voice in his ear; the voice he'd often dreamed of, wanted to hear in his ear like this; lusted after. The strength and support he'd longed for with an aching so deep it hurt just thinking about it. Oddly enough, he found himself not wanting to move now. He felt the trembling begin as his brain fought the realization that his deepest most personal desire was just a touch away and maybe, just maybe, it was actually real and NOT just in his dreams. God, this is what I want! Gibbs has never lied to me before. He wouldn't lie about this. This has to be real!

Gibbs reveled in Tim's show of trust as the young man allowed himself to lean back into him while he tried to process this unexpected turn of events and was undoubtedly the most personal conversation he'd ever had with the boss. The older man gently wrapped his arms around his troubled agent and made no further move. Tim needed time to process everything else without interruption or pressure and Gibbs was making sure he got it, knowing he'd find it easier to not only work things out but also speak his mind that way.

"Is this part of 'for starters'? Tim asked so quietly, it was almost a whisper as his mind stopped fighting the truth in front of him, at least for the moment.

"This is part of wherever you want this to go, Tim." Gibbs promised him as he kissed him gently on the temple. "I'm not gonna lie to you. I'm hoping you come to realize that what you want; what you need, is right here with me."

Tim shivered at the fizzure of genuine desire that raced through his body at Gibbs' words and the touch of his kiss on his temple. Hell, the man's arms embracing him while his body had held him up had already turned his insides to mush!. Turning around to face the older man, Tim looked him in the eyes, searching for the truth, the trust and the safety he needed to take this step. Finding it right where he needed it to be, he took the next step; the biggest one yet. "And if I do want this? With you?"

"Then we take it at your speed." Gibbs reply was quiet, direct and spoken with unwavering strength that spoke of a promise he was making.

"I can't do this if it's not for keeps." Tim's voice shook. "I don't have it in me to be rejected again."

Gibbs gently trailed his thumb down Tim's face in sympathy, his palm cupping Tim's face tenderly. "I know. Would have stopped this at your promise not to go it alone if I didn't want this for keeps, too."

"I've never done this before. Any of it. Somehow, I don't think dreaming about it for the past few weeks counts."

Tim's near whispered admission tugged at Gibbs' heartstrings as he gently pulled him into his arms and spoke softly into his ear. "That what's been keeping' you so worn out and strugglin'? You been dreamin about us?"

Tim nodded as he bit his lower lip in consternation. He hadn't wanted Gibbs to ever find out about that, but he'd felt the need to explain himself; to do his best to make this all make sense. "This is all new to me." He admitted again, feeling especially vulnerable right about now.

"Sssh.I know. Your speed." Gibbs promised as he continued to hold onto the younger man.

From the safe confines of the older man's arms, Tim tremulously asked "And if I want it all – now?" He pulled out of Gibbs' arms just enough to find the older man's eyes, his own eyes searching those of the man he was trusting with his heart and soul, once more, as if he couldn't get enough of what he found there as he waited with bated breath for the answer.

Gibbs smiled and gently adjusted his promise, caressing the side of Tim's face as he spoke. "Your speed, my caution."

Tim smiled softly. "I already know I'd like that."

"C'mere." Gibbs whispered huskily as he drew Tim back in, this time for a first kiss. Hesitant, feather lite, yet promising, gently asking to be let in, his lips touching Tim's until the younger man moaned, opening his mouth, letting the older man in, letting him explore and learn Tim's mouth, – taking him in and begging for more.

Wrapping his arms around Tim's back, Gibbs drew him further into the kiss, tenderly and without hesitation, letting Tim drink from his kiss, feeling his passion flare for Tim, almost completely engulf him until he forced himself to pull back, their lips separating for them to draw in air.

Tim panted, licking his lips in nervousness just before Gibbs' leaned back in reconnecting their mouths; his tongue once again seeking entrance into Tim's mouth, which was freely given, as Tim. opened his mouth inviting Gibbs to explore freely. The older man's tongue explored Tim's mouth, tasting, searching, passively – the opposite way he did everything else in life. He made love to Tim's mouth, while as if in a daze Tim's eyes closed on their own, Gibbs drank from him in gentle caresses but through it all his mouth remained mesmerizingly strong and had Tim wanting more. Every touch from this man left Tim wanting more; wanting everything Gibbs had to give.

Again, Gibbs let his passion climb, nearly too high to pull back, this time as he tongue probed every corner of the sweet mouth he'd been welcomed into. With a ragged breath, he forced the separtion once more, pulling back with a small smile. "How's that for starters?" He asked, his voice rough with want and need.

"I don't need any more research." Tim said breathlessly, his eyes sparkling yet still holding some fear and a hint of disbelief. "Not if this is for real."

"Still need you to make me that promise." Gibbs told him gruffly, concern for Tim utmost in his mind.

"I promise." Tim nodded as he looked away, suddenly feeling like he was drowning in those twin calm oceans of blue. "I need some coffee. You want some?"

"No. I need to go. It's getting late. You've got plenty to think about." Gibbs told him calmly.

"My speed?" Tim asked forlornly, obviously not willing to let Gibbs go home yet. Hell, if he had it his way, the man wouldn't leave at all!

Gibbs smiled softly as he gently cupped Tim's cheek with one hand once again. Leaning in for yet another gentle kiss, he smiled softly when he pulled back and looked at Tim, warmth and concern in his eyes. "My caution. We need to take this slow."

Those gentle yet firm words sent a shiver of Tim's spine as he watched Gibbs turn to go after tenderly kissing Tim one last time. Fear filled Tim's eyes as his mind immediately screamed at him that this was just another example of being played until he'd laid his heart completely exposed and vulnerable and now it was about to get crushed again. This was just another page in the cosmic joke playbook, written at Tim's expense.

Frowning at what he was seeing in Tim's eyes, Gibbs stepped back over to him. "Do you trust me?" He asked gently.

Tim nodded immediately, his eyes full of that absolute trust and faith in Gibbs. "With my life."

"If this is really what you want, then this is just the beginning. I promise you that." The older man vowed.

Tim breathed out a sigh of relief and he smiled tremulously. "Okay."

"I promise you this is real. You know I don't say anything I don't mean."

Tim looked deep into those eyes, those trusting eyes that promise honesty and desire, feeling his heart warm with hope's flame now relit.

Kissing Tim on the lips on more gentle time, Gibbs turned to leave. "Goodnight, Tim."

"Night, Boss."

"Gonna have to change that." Gibbs quirked with a grin.

"Change?" Tim's overwhelmed mind didn't immediately make the connection.

"Not 'Boss' between us like this, Tim." The older man reminded him with a wry smile.

"Oh. Right." Tim knew that but hearing Gibbs say it now made this all seem so much more real. Without even realizing he'd voiced his thought, the words crossed his mind. "Gibbs, then?"

"Ziva and Abby call me that. That's theirs. Jethro will work."

Tim shook his head with regret. "No, please. Not after I've had your namesake all this time. Even now that he's with my parents, he's still ..."

"Oh, right." Gibbs grinned.

"Leroy?" Tim suggested timidly as he glanced at him shyly.

"Works for me, Tim." The silver-haired fox replied with a soft smile and a reassuring gentle kiss. "You prefer Timmy?"

"God, no!" Tim muttered immediately, his face scrunched in distaste. "I don't even like it when Abby uses it. It's like she can't see me for the man I am, beyond what she thinks is suitable to 'love like she loves puppies."

The older man smiled in sympathy even as mentally he made a note to keep an eye on Abby's treatment of Tim in the future. "Tim works for me, too."

Suddenly, Tim's mind flew into panic mode. This was too good to be true and that's always blown up in his face before! What if he screwed it up? What if he wasn't good enough for Gibbs? What the hell was he sayin'? Of course he wasn't good enough for someone like Gibbs! Who was he tryin' to kid?

The older man watched the plethora of emotions flit through Tim's eyes as the young man's mind continued to overthink things. "Stop thinking so hard, alright? Get some sleep. We'll talk about this again when you're ready." He encouraged quietly, a beautifully charming smile on his face, lighting up his gorgeous blue eyes and making Tim go weak in the knees once more.

Forcing himself to remain in place, trying to discretely hold onto the door frame to keep from collapsing where he stood from the acute feeling of emptiness he was feeling at just the thought of Gibbs leaving now, Tim offered a reluctant response "Goodnight, Leroy."

Watching the man leave was one of the hardest things Tim had ever had to do. No sooner had the door closed, than Tim slid down the wall to the floor, his eyes closed in a feeling of emotional ecstasy. Whatever brief glimpse of heaven this was, he was determined to relish it as he drew his mind back over the intimate moments he'd just experienced with the one man he'd fantasized about – the only man.

God, if he could only freeze time, this moment would last forever!