AN: I could give you a million reasons for why this has taken me so long to update. I could tell you how I've worked a lot and how I've had troubles with my computer. Though not untrue, they're not the real reason for the delay but they are what I have been telling myself. Truth is I've been having a major writer's block where everything I could come up with went against all logic and/or sounded terribly forced. I've had a hard time writing Snape like this and as a result there is quite a large chunk of time missing in here, but I hope you won't mind too much. In the end I'm not exactly proud of this chapter, but I got past it and hopefully you will too.
I also want to thank anyone who has ever reviewed, marked as favourite, or put an alert on this story. For a while there I was actually considering just giving up, but then I took a look at all of you and your encouraging words, remembered my promise, and kicked myself hard for ever thinking of letting you down.
Without further ado, Chapter 6:
.oOo.
Severus Snape took a precious second to stare emptily at the piece of floor that had just moments ago accommodated Lupin. He wondered if the werewolf had survived the portkey to Dumbledore's office, delivering a dead pet to the headmaster would probably not help him with getting in the Order's good graces.
There was a barely discernible feeling that was festering in the bottom of Severus stomach, feeding on him like a parasite. He hadn't noticed it earlier, but he knew for sure it had reared its ugly head when he listen to Lupin beg in such an awfully trusting tone. Severus had ruthlessly crushed the feeling down, fearing that should he try to unravel the nest everything else might follow. It felt like a hole in a knitted sweater, poke at it and all you will be left with is a pile of messy yarn.
Snapping himself out of his introspective mood the Death Eater cringed slightly at the smell from the rotting corpse a few feet away from him. It was a shame really that no one had turned Lupin around to watch the destruction he had so efficiently created, Severus sure would have done so if he'd been down here before today. The newest Death Eaters obviously needed some thorough training before they would be worthy of the honour their mark brought them.
Redonning the mask he had put aside for Lupin's benefit Severus hastily made his way upstairs, the heavier Death Eater robes merely fluttering where his own billowing ones would have provided some extra drama. He did after all have news about an escaped prisoner, and a show worthy of the finest establishments would be put up for his fellow Death Eaters. The Dark Lord would seem livid, probably even punish him for good measures, but the investigation would show that a portkey had been activated in the dungeon a full hour earlier, well before Snape even arrived.
To say that the cruciatus felt good would always be a huge exaggeration, but it could be more or less torturous and that night was definitely one of the better ones for Severus. As the pain beat through his nervous system, causing his muscles to spasm and cramp together, Severus screamed himself hoarse. It didn't last for long but afterwards he felt cleansed, like if the air he had forcefully pressed out through his windpipe had brought with it that tangled knot in his stomach. Unbeknownst to his master he had deserved the punishment, and it had made him snap back into place.
.oOo.
Almost an hour had passed since Lupin had been whisked away by the portkey when Severus finally entered the headmaster's office, a faux worry ingrained in the wrinkled forehead and the crossed arms. After having played a part for the Dark Lord all those years fooling the blue-eyed headmaster and his deputy seemed as easy as feeding lies to third year Gryffindors.
McGonagall was fretting over the slim cot that had been placed in a corner of the room; a number of tinkles having disappeared to Merlin-knew-where to accommodate the sickbed. Lupin looked pale but flustered with fever and was either unconscious or sedated, not that Severus particularly cared.
For Severus this mission should soon be over. He would have the perfect reason to start giving the Dark Lord more valuable information and with a little luck the werewolf could still die from his injuries. Severus might have been weak and stupid for years, but he once again remembered which team he rooted for and he would from now on do anything to ensure victory for his side.
In a way it might even be lucky that he had had his spineless years. Without them he would have been rotting in Azkaban for the last decade and a half and his mind would be lost forever, he was after all one of the most skilled potion masters in all of Europe. He would also never have gotten as close to Dumbledore as he currently was, and now he could turn that trust into his greatest success yet.
"How is he? Where is Pomfrey?" the split second of silence could be passed off as confusion about the lack of matron.
"She left twenty minutes ago, the Dragonpox." Dumbledore didn't elaborate and Severus didn't need him to, remembering that half of the Ravenclaws was currently in the infirmary. "Remus was placed in a healing coma for the next twenty-four hours. Apart from the flesh wounds themselves several of them were badly infected and the bacteria have spread through his blood making him severely septic. Another hour and he would have been lost, as it is he will hopefully recover. Thank you Severus."
Severus didn't know what to think, Lupin's survival might be better from the big perspective but he had held a secret hope to finally see the end of the marauders. It would make it one less nuisance of a Gryffindor in the school.
"Septic?" He asked for distraction, yet honestly intrigued. "That should be fixed in a matter of minutes with a simple potion. I know Poppy has it stocked, I made a batch for her not to long ago."
"Turns out some of the bacteria were magical, probably from the werewolf saliva. It's treatable but our potions have only slightly more effect than muggle antibiotics has on the muggle counterpart."
Severus gave a small nod, still waiting for the inevitable question. He had expected it to be thrown in his face the moment he stepped through the door, so it was about time. From across the room he could hear Minerva stilling, her ears most likely growing to twice their size as she awaited the explanation.
"Severus," there was a small pause "what happened?" The Death Eater made sure that his smile came off as grim.
"The full story, I believe, is for Remus to tell you himself. Sufficient to say is that no one was allowed to leave marks, there will be no evidence that he did not do all of this to himself. But I'm sure you have already noticed that all visible wounds were self-inflicted." Snape deliberately avoided eye contact, putting on a mask of shame for the headmaster to see and believe. Privately he was rather worried that he might burst into laughter at the pitying look on the outdated legend's face.
It was easy to admire the handy-work of his master, Severus thought. Apart from using the situation to further infiltrate the order the plan had a whole other level, one that he had chosen not to inform Dumbledore about when he learnt of its existence four nights ago. As the order were now starting to heal Lupin a ministry worker and her boyfriend would decide to take a late evening stroll through the woods in an area not far from Liverpool. The couple would however run into far more interesting sights than stars and moonlight, namely two mudblood bodies torn apart by a werewolf.
All the evidence would point to the carcasses having lain there since the full moon four days prior, which indeed were true since the crime scene had been fabricated before the full moon even set. The bodies would be covered in dirt and leaves, but also in saliva, saliva from one very special werewolf. So while Lupin was close to death and in great need of hospitalisation all of the ministry would be out for his blood, searching high and low for the monster they longed to execute.
Dumbledore might have the influence and enough favours to cash in that he managed to free the half-human, but doing so would cost his reputation greatly. Not to mention that many of the strings he would pull would be burnt with him owing a large part of the officials for their gracious help. The next time the Order needed something impossible done they would hopefully be met with much greater resistance.
Just as Albus opened his mouth to break the tense silence the fireplace flared green and three necks groaned as their respective heads snapped around at the sound of Shacklebolt's voice.
"Albus?" The voice sounded strained and the dark face had got a few more lines to it in the last few days, or rather in the last few minutes if Severus guessed correctly. "Thank Merlin you're here! I don't have long but they found bodies, Remus saliva was all over them and the DMLE and RCMC is putting together a manhunt as we speak. I don't know what to do. I mean Remus might already be dead, but this? He's a good man and I..." Dumbledore held up a hand and the auror stopped his tirade looking angry and worried at the same time.
"Severus got Remus out." Shacklebolt's eyes widened to comical proportions. "This might be Voldemort's way to revenge the escape and we must not let it happen, I will not have Remus saved from death by Voldemort's hands just to see him executed by the ministry. I'll be there shortly." Kingsley simply nodded and withdrew his head back to his office.
For a second McGonagall and Severus simply watched the headmaster while he gazed emptily at the fireplace. When he snapped into motion again it was with an air of resolution and confidence, showing why so many were prepared to see him as their leader.
"Okay, we can no longer keep Remus in the castle. The hospital wing is crowded with students and I have already offered their families to stay with them over Christmas. Not only would it put an unreasonable strain on Poppy but the chance of discovery is far too great. The school must not be connected to this or the ministry could very well close us down. Hogwarts cannot accommodate murderers in hiding, no matter how innocent they really are." McGonagall nodded her silent agreement.
"I had planned to take the main responsibility for Remus' care myself, but as it is I will be needed here and cannot go into hiding with him. I don't want to send more people than necessary since their absence might be noticed and whoever goes has to be able to brew more of the Septicaemia potion since our current stock isn't enough. That means there's really only one possible candidate." Dumbledore turned his piercing stare at Severus.
For a fleeting second the potions master felt like stomping his feet and screaming 'no' the same way that a child would, but that emotion was quickly put down by an epiphany. He would be the sole caretaker of the werewolf, whose life was hanging by a thin tread. No one could blame him if Lupin didn't pull through. Not to mention that his position among the order might be even further improved if he did Dumbledore this favour, something that should please his master.
He allowed his conflicting emotions to shine through on his face for a second, not wanting to come off as to easily persuaded. "Of course," he then said, sounding pained. "Where should we go?"
"Grimmauld Place is still inaccessible but I wouldn't have recommended it anyway. I have a safe house set ready for situations like these and I'm sure Remus will recover faster if he's not constantly surrounded by memories of Sirius. However, I'm afraid the house isn't equipped with a proper laboratory so you will need to bring your own supplies, I'll cover any expenses." Severus had a distinct feeling that that meant Dumbledore would somehow sneak it through the school budget but he made no comments.
"I will require a few minutes to gather my things, if there's nothing else at the moment?" The headmaster shook his head and motioned towards the fireplace.
The packing took next to no time, mostly since he decided to take just about everything with him. Magic ensured that he could carry it easily and he had no inclination to let his holiday plans of potions research get ruined by a dying werewolf. A few set of clothes, a toilet bag, and some books later Severus was about ready to go, stopping for a moment to sweep his eyes across the room for any missed articles. The Death Eater robes were already on and the mask was in his pocket, prepared for the call he suspected would come soon enough. Yes, he was all done for whatever this little excursion might comprise.
All of his belongings lay shrunken and weightless in his robe pocket when Dumbledore created the portkey to the safe house. While he worked the elder man explained that the house was hidden with a Fidelius charm with himself as the secret-keeper. It was located in the muggle suburbs of Birmingham, a city big enough to hide them and make any lesser magical traces go unnoticed.
"However," he concluded before sending Snape and his charge on their way, "you need to keep your use of active magic as low as possible, it would be unwise to draw attention to the neighbourhood unnecessarily. There are anti-apparition wards so I have created a multi-use portkey that will work only between the safe house living room and your living room here at Hogwarts." Dumbledore placed a small golden elephant in Snape's hand. "Key word is Shadow, I trust you will only use it when needed." The man gave Severus a look that clearly stated that he was just as aware as the spy was about the upcoming meeting on the progress done.
Before he had any time to answer Severus felt the telltale jerk of the first portkey whisking him off to his new accommodation, and he allowed himself a tiny smile.
.oOo.
Had anyone been able to see past all the layers of deceptions Severus Snape had bundled himself in over the last decades neither side would have allowed the situation at Benedon Road to occur. Had Dumbledore been fully aware of the present betrayal he would have tried to bring Severus back, giving him third, fourth, and fifth chances, but he would never have bestowed on him the care of his childhood tormentor. The Dark Lord on the other hand was blissfully unaware of Snape's past betrayals, or the spy would have been dead long before he could come back to their side. This also meant that Voldemort never knew that the one element that might turn his spy against him once more was Remus Lupin. In the end it was the ineptitude of these two powerful leaders, their blind trust in someone who had betrayed them both, that ended up saving not one but two souls.
It had been Christmas Eve for just over two hours and Snape embraced the darkness that hid away the flowery patterns and blithe colours of the small house. The orange glow of the streetlights mated with the coloured flashes from a disturbing set of reindeers on the neighbour's lawn and made the closet sized room that held Lupin's bed feel like a part of another world.
The werewolf still hadn't regained consciousness and Severus had every intention to keep it that way. During his briefing with his master earlier that day it had been made clear that Lupin was to be kept alive, at the very least for the time being. But the potions master also knew that the Dark Lord understood his longing for revenge, and as long as he didn't act to quickly he would not receive much punishment for his deed.
To make his cause more believable in front of the order Severus had been changing two of the four daily doses of Septicaemia to a concoction that was nothing more than an especially foul tasting herbal tea, although no one would know the difference. This had made him able to keep the werewolf alive but it also made sure that there was no progression in his health, and with septicaemia being a tricky disease no one could point fingers and blame him. Sometimes the cures didn't take the way they were supposed to and he was not a professional healer.
Since the healing coma had ended about ten hours earlier Lupin had been having almost constant nightmares, something that pleased Severus to no end. The werewolf could be kept alive for weeks like this, too weak to wake up and escape the nightmares that plagued his sleep, yet not sick enough to succumb to the complete darkness. It was a beauty to behold, so that was what Severus did. From his temporary laboratory in the bedroom next door he would hear when a nightmare turned especially vicious, when Lupin would scream and plead and cry as he tossed back and forth in his bed, and then Severus would come and enjoy the show.
Sitting down on the edge of Lupin's bed Snape would revel in the man's horrors. Where it used to be Lupin's role it was now Severus who got to watch in silence as the other man suffered. Their places had finally changed, and the payback gave Snape a tremendous pleasure. A small smile played on his lips as he thought of how he still, years after Lupin's most unfortunate death, would have the memories of these episodes inculcated in his mind.
However, someone somewhere seemed set on changing it all. Maybe the divine powers took pity on Remus, and decided he was worthy of another chance. Maybe they had ulterior motives in the light side regaining the upper hand. Maybe they just wanted to believe that the earth could yet be a good place, that humanity still had a chance. Or it might not be divine at all, maybe it was just - as most might choose to believe - dumb luck. No matter the reason for it it still happened, and it drastically changed two individuals' futures.
.oOo.
Without warning Remus sat up, emotion etched so deeply into his face that the tears tracks seemed to have created their very own canyons. His breathing was quick, close to hyperventilating, as it ghosted past a black robed shoulder and he was close enough to Snape that the man could feel the fever radiating through the air and trigging his thermo receptors.
It had all gone so fast that there had been no room for reaction from Severus side, and as he moved to reconquer his personal space he must have alerted the werewolf to his presence. Few would have moved fast enough in their sleep to catch Snape before he rose, but Lupin somehow managed. Without warning Severus felt himself hindered by hands fiercely gripping his loose clothing, a head burrowed against his shoulder and a body much too close to his.
Severus wanted to move, to push Lupin back down and make a quick escape, but he found he couldn't even remotely remember how to tell his muscles what was wanted of them. All he could focus on was Lupin's heart beating furiously against his side, the irregular breathing that pressed air against his shoulder and the burning of Lupin's all to warm forehead against his neck.
In his mind Severus was at the same time back on the floor of his chambers, breaking down in the arms of this man and allowing the comfort he offered, and back in the chambers of the Dark Lord delighting in the pain he caused the same man. None of it felt real, not even the present. It was as if the walls around him were crumbling and the universe was falling apart.
When Remus loosened his iron grip and fell back against the pillows in a peaceful slumber Severus had lost all perceptions of time. With the loss of the warm body it felt like his blood had turned to ice and he sat shivering on a small bed in a world that seemed drastically different from what it had been mere hours ago. It was a harsher and more brutal reality, the familiar self-disgust burning in his stomach, but somehow everything felt more right than it had for weeks.
Severus had no tools for dealing with things like this. Usually he would just push it back into some hidden corner in his mind and never look at it again, but right then he couldn't even focus enough for that. It felt as if the world had tilted and he was sliding across its surface at neck breaking speed, losing his touch with reality as it rushed by in a whirlwind of colours. For a moment he was certain he was going insane.
Devoid of his usual methods of emptying his mind Severus knew of an easy out, at least for a few hours: Dreamless Sleep. If he gave Remus a dose of the septicaemia potion now he wouldn't need the next one for at least six hours, which should give Severus mind sufficient time to calm down.
Standing up from the bedside Severus had to white-knuckle the door post to keep standing. The floor kept tossing one direction then the other, like the house was floating at sea during a storm. It took a second to get used to the rocking but Severus eventually managed to stumble over to the laboratory and retrieve Lupin's potion. He was none to gentle as he poured it down the other mans throat and proceeded to his own much larger bedroom.
Severus had the feeling that the manner in which he collapsed on his king sized bed was rather undignified, but he could not bring himself to care. Uncorking the small vial he downed all of its contents before throwing the glass away, it bounced off the floor with a sound that sliced through his brain like polished steel. Reaching up to touch his shoulder Severus fingers skimmed over the residue wetness from Remus' tears and he wished for the first time in years that he remembered how to cry.
