I am blind.
My mind reels with all of the things I should have done. Asked Faith for a copy of the Reaper IFF, so I could send my own teams through the Relay. Gone with her. Set up a QEC on the Normandy, linking to my office.
But I did not do any of that, and now I am blind.
So used am I to having everything in front of me, having eyes everywhere, that the sensation is almost unbearable. Horrific scenarios run through my mind, worst amongst them her simply not returning. I have no idea what she will find...
She could already be dead now. And I would never know for sure.
Focus. It is Faith's voice as much as mine that breaks that train of thought.
I take a deep breath. I am no child. I will not sit, hoping, wishing, for something I have no control over.
I check the newsfeed I have pinned in a prominent place on my interface. The agent has seen no activity at the Omega 4 Relay since Shepard passed several hours ago. Now, there is nothing I can do other than continue my work... our work, and wait.
Faith shifted slightly in her chair, before gently flexing her fingers and toes, moving on to slowly rotate her shoulders and bend her legs.
No damage... good.
She looked across to Joker, who was in a bad way. His face was contorted in pain, and she could see one of his arms hanging uselessly at his side, twisted into an unnatural position. The other was sinking what she recognised as a powerful painkiller into his thigh. But he was alive.
'EDI, status report.' she coughed out.
We have crashed on the Collector Base. Preliminary scans indicate no alarms have been set off, and there are no external defences nearby. No crew casualties or serious injuries detected, other than Jeff. Normandy status: incapacitated. I require expert hands to fix external damage enough to allow us to fly again.
'Damn... Joker, you ok?'
'I... think I've... broken my... everything... Commander...'
Jeff's vital signs do not suggest that his injuries are fatal, Shepard.
'Thanks... EDI...' her pilot coughed out.
She began to run scenarios through her head. She needed to, at very least, get Joker some basic medical treatment. Without Doctor Chakwas, Miranda and Mordin would have to step up.
Tali and Legion would be best suited to stay behind and fix the ship... but...
This was all wasting time, and people. If EDI was right and there were no alarms, they perhaps had some time, at least to get Joker patched up and plan the attack, but she could not afford to leave two of her already small crew behind to fix the ship when she had no idea what she would find.
She shook her head.
Focus.
She had known, they all had known, that this might well be a one-way trip. Her primary objective right now was to set up a secure perimeter, and plan the assault. Perhaps, when she had a better idea of what they were facing, she could send the pair to fix the ship.
She unbuckled herself, and slowly stood up, looking back along to the CIC. Sparks were shooting from several of the terminals, and there was minor damage everywhere she looked, but the ship appeared at least structurally intact.
'EDI, I need as much information on the base as you can find in the Comms room, asap. Call the crew there, except for Miranda and Mordin, who I need up here with as many splints as they can carry.' She leaned over and saw Joker's eyes fading in and out of focus. 'You hang in there, Joker. We need you to take us home.'
Faith shook her head again as she stared at the readouts. The Collectors had installed absolutely no protective measures on their base: no alarms, no scan disrupters, no external defences. They never expected anybody to attack this place, in its impossible abode at the centre of the galaxy.
Every crew member was holding a datapad showing a duplication of the holograph floating above the table in the centre of the room. The base was enormous, a massive construct of stone and steel, just like the now destroyed Collector Ship.
It had taken just minutes for EDI to generate blueprints of the base, free as it was from any shielding. Shepard and the crew had been scanning them whilst Tali began preliminary repairs of the ship, and Miranda worked with Mordin to at least ensure Joker would not die while they were off the Normandy.
Shepard? Tali's voice rang throughout the room.
'Go ahead Tali, how bad is it?'
It will take two people around four hours to get the ship into a state where it can fly. It won't be pretty... but I'm used to repairs like this.
'Four hours...' Her mind started to work. That was much less time than she had feared. 'Good work Tali, come up to the Comms room. EDI, get Miranda and Mordin up here as well, as soon as Joker's out of immediate danger.'
Acknowledged.
She looked up at the crew. Her crew. They were all fully armoured, and the room was tightly packed because of the extra bulk. Her gaze skipped over the spot where Zaeed would typically recline, leaning against the frame of the bulkhead as if he owned the place. There would be time for mourning later.
It did not take long for the others to arrive, and soon everybody had stopped their quiet discussions and was looking at her.
'This is where we are. We've got full blueprints of the base, and we're lucky that the place is remarkably easy to navigate. Big corridors and high roofs, just like that... deserted...' she saw the crew she had taken on that mission snort derisively, 'ship, so hopefully no getting lost in there.'
She looked down again at the thermal signatures, and zoomed in on the ones that had caught her attention. 'These... EDI thinks they're bodies, inside those pods they use. We can only hope they unloaded the rest of the crew from the ship before we destroyed it, but if they did, this is most likely them. They're only a little way in, and we were just hours behind the Collector ship.'
She zoomed out further.
'And we're lucky, they're right in the path to whatever the hell this is.' She spun the hologram, and took away outer layers until all that was left was a huge chamber with a massive energy reading. 'Even EDI can't tell what the hell this thing is, which means it's bad news. It's also right above the drive core, so we'll check it out before blowing the place to hell and getting our crew back.'
A chorus of nods.
'That's the objective. To get there, we're going to need to traverse several tunnels. First, there's two ways into the base near here, and both end up near those thermal readings. One way's slightly longer, and has more access points, meaning more resistance. I'll take Grunt, Jack, Samara and Jacob, and we're gonna hit them hard, fast and heavy. I want them focused on us. The other goes through a bunch of computer banks and what looks like important systems... Garrus, take Thane, Mordin and Miranda, and destroy every single one of them. We want to keep the Collectors on their toes, and if their systems are bugging out it's just one more advantage for us. Don't engage in a firefight unless you absolutely have to.'
'What about the rest of us, Shep?' chirped Kasumi, who had pulled her hood back, allowing Shepard a full view of the girl's delicate features and short, pitch dark hair.
'Tali and Legion are going to stay and fix my ship.' she said with a smile. 'I'm not letting the best damned team in the galaxy die because of a broken ride home. Kasumi... you get to do what you do best. Both of these tunnels end with enormous bulkheads which EDI can't open remotely. There's a maintenance shaft that leads right into it; I want you to go down it and open the doors for us.'
'You know real thieves don't actually sneak through heating vents, right?' the smirk on Kasumi's face was enough for Shepard.
'You ever wanted to?'
'Oh yes!'
The thief's happy response as she pulled up her hood drew chuckles from the rest of the team. They had finally made it, they had a plan of attack, and, most importantly, Shepard had confirmed that this would not be a one way trip, not if she could help it.
They looked determined. They looked ready. Some even looked eager.
Now, they just had to do the hard part.
'Congratulations, Major Alenko.'
Kaidan fought to keep his face straight as he shook the hand of Rear Admiral Mikhailovich.
A maelstrom of emotions whirled through him. It had been nearly two years since he had received a promotion... and now, once again, it happened because of Shepard.
After he had escaped the destruction of the Normandy, he and the other Alliance crew were lauded as heroes, nearly all were promoted, given generous periods of leave, and then...
Nothing.
Eventually the media sensation died down, and the celebrations stopped.
When he finally returned to active duty, he found himself near enough sidelined, put onto assignments so trivial he would have been ashamed to lead them five years ago. The Alliance wanted nothing to do with him. Shepard's warnings about the Reapers had very quickly become inconvenient rumours, and his insistence that the Alliance begin preparations simply saw him shipped out to remote regions on dull, lengthy missions.
Then she came back. Working with Cerberus, no less, for reasons that the Alliance were either ignorant of, or unwilling to publicise. Suddenly, he found himself sent to Horizon, to be the Alliance's representative as the anti-ship batteries were deployed in response to the attacks in the Terminus. He was told to be on the lookout for Cerberus, who were suspected to be behind the attacks. A real mission, doing some good in the galaxy after so long, just like that.
And, just as predicted, Cerberus were on Horizon. Not as terrorists... but as saviours. Shepard had done his job for him, beaten back the Collectors, and saved half of the colony. He still cursed himself for his foolishness at their argument; his insinuation that Cerberus was somehow involved. It was absolute pettiness. He saw first hand what the Collectors did... and Shepard warned him that the Alliance would not show Cerberus as the ones responsible for saving the colony, but would twist and turn events to make Cerberus the enemy.
She was right. Kaidan suddenly found himself in the spotlight, again, because of Shepard. He was called a hero, for saving the colony. Cerberus was demonised further, despite his testimony about what really happened.
And now, once again, he was promoted for the actions of another. He had been a part of Shepard's crew on the Normandy SR1, perhaps even a vital part, but he held no illusions as to who was responsible for their victories. This time, he had done nothing. He had been paralysed almost as soon as the Collectors attacked, and by the time the effect wore off Shepard had slaughtered dozens of Collectors, fixed the gun batteries and and saved thousands of people. She had done in four hours, what he had failed to do in three weeks of preparation.
He gritted his teeth. There was nothing he could do... if he rejected this, he would be effectively rejecting the Alliance, just as Shepard had. And there was no way he would join Cerberus, even with her vouching for them.
He would take this promotion... and do his duty. As he always did.
'Thank you, sir.' He shook the hand of the admiral as camera flashes pulsed around them. He was a hero, after all, and Alliance recruitment efforts were at an all-time low.
After several hours of celebrations, in which he gave the same, dull, practiced interview about duty and strength to a dozen reporters, he was pulled aside by Mikhailovich, to a richly decorated office.
'Sit down, Major.' the admiral said, sighing in pleasure as he sat down himself. Kaidan did as ordered, but did not let himself relax.
He bit down his frustration as the admiral shuffled through papers on his desk. Such displays were pointless: a way for those in power to show they could keep others waiting with impunity.
Several minutes passed, before Mikhailovich spoke again.
'You're one of humanity's most powerful biotics, Alenko. You've constantly achieved good scores in all officer assessments, and complete all assignments well above satisfaction. You should be the poster boy for us, the one the girls write soppy poems about, the one the boys want to be when they grow up. And yet your career has ground to a halt for two years. Why?'
The question sounded so casual... but instantly put him on guard. What was the admiral after? Him to tell the truth? Or for him to finally revoke his warnings about the Reapers, and fully rejoin the Alliance's ranks?
It had been over two years since the assault on the Citadel. In that time, his certainties, his convictions, had begun to waver under the constant assault and suspicion cast on his words. Was Sovereign a one off? Was Shepard wrong? She was, in truth, the only one who had seen the Prothean visions other than Saren... and he had gone mad, attacking those he was supposed to protect.
Was Shepard on the same path? She was working with terrorists! Was the beacon simply too powerful for a mind to comprehend?
'I-'
'I'll tell you why.' Mikhailovich actually waited for Kaidan to begin his answer before overriding him, and he was forced to bite down a retort. 'Shepard. The Council gets its tentacles into her and suddenly she thinks the rules don't apply to her. I've got no damned idea why she faked her death for so long, but I don't like it.'
'She-'
'She's trouble, Alenko. A damned psychopath.'
Despite his misgivings, he felt an urge to defend the woman. She was cold, sure... but she was not emotionless. She cared about her crew, and he saw the pain in her eyes, as she ordered him not to feel guilt over Ashley. But it was clear Mikhailovich wasn't going to let him speak, just yet.
'You've probably not seen her psych reports, but you know her history. She shows all the signs, you know. Doesn't feel one way or another about much in particular, even when she sent half her unit into a meat grinder on Torfan. Can turn that silver tongue of hers on and off like a valve, make people think she cares.'
Could she have been doing that? Just... manipulating me?
He thought back, to how she seemingly turned her emotions off the second she was required in a formal manner, yet she always came by, asking questions, showing an interest, making him think...
'But this isn't about her, it's about you. You've gotten tangled in her web, and it's dragging you down. You've got a choice, Alenko. In front of me, I've got a mission. One that'll give you a chance to do some good with those skills of yours, get your name off the blacklist. But if you continue your rantings about Shepard's "Reapers"' He held his fingers up in airquotes and scowled. 'It'll be out of my hands. You're going to find yourself behind a desk in an admin office for the rest of your career. What'll it be?'
Kaidan looked for a long time at the file in front of him. The Alliance still printed many mission briefs on paper... especially those with the very heavy, red, classified stamp across the front.
What was he to do? Continue his futile campaign, ignored by those with the power to make the real changes? Or... start fresh. Take this opportunity to make something for himself... to perhaps even get himself into a position where he could no longer be ignored.
Then they would no longer be relying on Shepard for the truth about the Reapers. No longer relying on her, and her new allies. He could do things right. Do them by the book.
'Give me the mission, sir.'
A/N: Thank you Jay8008 for beta reading.
