Thank you again Shelbylou - who I wrote this for as a birthday present - for encouraging me to go ahead and post this here.
Special Thanks goes out to delia cerrano - for her valued second opinion and her willingness to offer it.
A Touch of A/U: FOR THE SAKE OF THIS STORY: Tony & Barrett's relationship took place 18 months earlier than in cannon.(Putting it 6 months before this story)
Episode Tag: "Dead Reflection" – 4/12/2011 & "'Two-Faced" April 5, 2011 - Season 8 (original cannon dates)
4:45 Tuesday Morning
Confirmation. Reaffirmation. Promise. Trust. Whatever the word for it is, it's what crosses Leroy's mind in a wave when he wakes up Tuesday morning, wrapped securely in Tim's strong arms that leave no doubt how much he's thought of by the younger man. Without moving a muscle, he lets his mind wander where it wants to for a minute as the question comes to mind how this happens every time they spend the night together. More and more lately, this is how they've woken up together, as opposed to the way they are snuggled together as they fall asleep, with him doing the holding, letting Tim be the one wrapped in undeniable physical strength and support – and yes, love.
"…sleeping in your arms pretty much guarantees a good night's sleep."
Laying here listening to the sounds of the quiet apartment now and hearing only the wonderful sound of his lover's slow and steady breathing while in restful sleep, Leroy's warmed from the inside out, not only at the memory of Tim's words on the subject, but also at the here and now that's become his morning; the first of many he knows he has to look forward to; they have to look forward to. It's a strong reminder of the depth of it all; his own inner changes; allowances they've both made and are continuing to make for all things uncertain and new and even the re-lit fire in his soul for love – Tim's love. Here in the dark, alone yet not lonely, he's humbled by it all.
Their relationship is all still new enough that none of the last few days has been forgotten. Hell, none of the last month has been forgotten, The younger man's inner struggles to get to the place within himself that he is finally comfortable about who he's become within their relationship – and outside of it – was painful to watch but deeply enlightening and when all was finally out in the open between them, enriching for the both of them The icing on the cake; the awakening of the growing fire underneath the confusion has been a joy to behold – in so many ways, it's breathtaking to stop and think back on it all.
Leroy's never felt this love before. Even with Shannon, it had been different in so many ways that this truly does feel fresh and new. Everything from the way Tim loves to look into his eyes as they make love, to the way he treasures running his fingers through Leroy's salt and pepper hair. The older man smiles softly now at Tim's previously spoken wish that he grow it out more so there would be more for the younger man to run his fingers through.
Please? Let it grow, just two inches; for me, Leroy?
So much of what they've begun here has come from deep within both of their wounded hearts that it's no surprise to Leroy now that his own mind wants to go back over some of what has stuck out the most; impacted him the deepest.
I want to make you feel good, just like you've done for me.
The beauty of those green eyes as they'd opened and locked onto his then, still brings a smile to the older man's face even now. He remembers how he'd responded to that selfless spoken reflection of the man Tim truly was on the inside.
"Sounds like the makings of a pretty good relationship."
He remembers smiling softlyas he'd locked his eyes on those of his young man and reaching out a hand to him just as clearly as he remembers Tim reaching out his own hand until he'd connected their fingers; interlocking them securely as their eyes spoke of promises and trust as he'd asked with a tremor shaking his voice. "It does, doesn't it?"
Of their own accord, Leroy's fingers begin to move now, paving slow, loving trails over Tim's arms where they're holding him close and secure as if remembering that moment they'd stepped over the threshold into permanence now opens the door a little wider.
More of the highlights from their first twenty-four hours before that moment, filter back to his memory now, just as beautiful and memorable in pieces now as they were as a whole then.
"Okay then. This is where you let go and go with whatever feels good. We clear?"
"Yes, Leroy."
Leroy smiles at the memory of the tremors of excitement that had visibly coursed through his lover at that moment. It had been such a turn on then and yet it had struck a chord in him at the same time; the newness of it all for Tim. They've come a long way since that moment just this past Friday night. Without his bidding, another bright moment comes back to mind.
"Teach me what makes you feel good, Leroy."
Oh, the depth of feeling in those eyes as Tim had pled openly to him! It had stirred his heart as deeply as it had stirred his loins. To realize this joining was filled with so much meaning had nearly left him breathless then. It chokes him up a little now. He's still blinking to clear his vision when another golden memory slides into place.
"God! Make me come, already! Please! Take me, Leroy, Please!"
Biting his tongue now, Leroy struggles to suppress the moan of pure molten hunger that pours out at the vivid memory of his lover crying out, strong capable hands clenched into the sheets as his body tried to sort itself out between the pleasure and the pain of their first complete joining.
"Leroy! More! Please!"
Leroy too, remembers being launched into orbit so far out, he'd seen blinding white behind his eyes as he flew. The rareness of that experience had sharpened it into a focus not easily forgotten or blurred. In the moments after he'd recovered his faculties, the time he'd lovingly cleaned Tim up as the younger man remained bonelessly poured into the mattress, his eyes closed and his breathing still harsh yet steady – Tim's realness – his lack of masks had opened the gates to Leroy's heart all that much more.
If only this could last forever!
Tim's honest yet only half-spoken wish later on had unleashed the protective lover within and Leroy's response had come without hesitation.
"I promise you, Tim. This is just the beginning. It only gets better from here."
He remembers how his own voice had never risen above soothing and the kiss he'd planted on Tim's earlobe had been done without even thinking twice about it. Restlessly now, his legs shift next to Tim's, as if remembering on their own what happened next.
With bated breath, Leroy glances at the sleeping man's beautiful face while he waits to see if he's woken him. He's relieved to see a moment later that Tim hasn't yet been disturbed in the least. He's sleeping so peacefully and without stirring a muscle. It's time he himself got up though and get moving for a normal work day. With a grin, he remains still as it comes to mind that just for today, he's willing to do things differently. In fact, he's reluctant to move at all.
Still, he really needs to get off this incredible memory lane and get back to here and now. Speaking of incredible… slowly rolling with Tim's arms, he turns the focus of his fully awake libido where it belongs, exploring and appreciating his lover. He knows there's no better way to wake up so he enjoys being the one doing the giving when he can. That's something else that is cementing their relationship with steel; the way that both of them are equal in both giving and receiving without any sort of competition or worry.
With all the tenderness he possesses, he applies his hands to smoothing Tim's hair around his face and begins to blaze a gentle, simmering trail of kisses from Tim's jaw, on around to his ear and on down as they travel to his neck and begin their trek to all points southward on his lover's body.
*****NCIS*******
Relaxed. Wanted. Kissed. Stroked. Loved! Leroy! All of the above sensations slowly and sensually penetrate the fog of sleep and bring Tim almost completely awake before any noise penetrates the pre-dawn darkness. Suppressing the normal sounds of contentment and animal hunger these attentions would normally bring out in him, Tim chooses instead to not do anything to take away from this moment while he physically melts into Leroy's loving touch.
Without hesitation, Tim 's reaching up with one of his own hands to tenderly caress the man's face, several of his long fingers gently carding his love's hair above his ear as the room slowly continues to glow with the moonlight peeking through the bedroom curtains on the right side of the bed. With the room cast in sensual shadow, the mood is as perfect as the golden silence that blankets them now.
Leroy leans into Tim's touch just as the younger man is leaning into his. Together, they silently communicate the depth that they have opened themselves up to and allowed this relationship to take root in. As if reading each other's mind, their free hands come together, interlocking strongly while Tim raises the arm of his that's attached to their joined fingers back over his head now, resting it on the pillow. He's keeping their connection untangled as their dance heats up, mouths coming together in an invitation to explore and unite.
*****NCIS*******
0615 Tuesday Morning
Gibbs can't stop smiling even before he's had his usual morning staple. Sated on all levels, he mentally envelopes the lingering memory of a very long, unusually quiet, intimate hour spent with Tim. It had taken a herculean effort on the younger man's part before he'd forced himself to get up and get in the shower for work, heading out a mere ten minutes ago, just as quietly, with a leisurely, sensual kiss of goodbye between them. A rarely pensive Gibbs now stands alone in Tim's kitchen, slowly pouring himself that first cup of coffee of the morning and he's content.
Forget content, Gibbs mentally corrects his own thoughts. He's happier than he's been in a very long time. Shannon's no longer hidden away in the deep recesses of his soul; he's secure in the belief that Tim loves him for who he is; including those memories and experiences, photos and other saved mementos. They've known each other for years, now getting to know each other better along the way. What he and Tim are building is already founded in their combined strength and honesty. Nothing can tear that apart
But it won't be for lack of trying. With that troubled thought, Gibbs silently walks to the doorway looking into the living room. Watching his Senior Field Agent sleep off the drunken slumber he'd allowed himself to sink into last night brings a frown to the Team Leader's face. This wasn't supposed to happen.
His and Tim's relationship outside the office was not supposed to hurt anyone. Has it? Tony said he was pissed, not hurt. Right? Won't be that way from Abby, though.
With a quiet sigh, Gibbs returns to the kitchen since he sees movement over on the couch. Tony'll be waking up soon. Without even thinking about it, he reaches up into Tim's cupboard and pulls down a coffee mug for the agent that will soon be walking into the kitchen looking for a mega shot of caffeine any minute now. He's warmed by the realization that he feels at home here in Tim's kitchen already and he hopes Tim feels the same way about his place.
Speaking of Tim…only now, at this imminent arrival of Tony into the mix, is Gibbs thankful that he insisted his lover let him deal with Tony this morning. He'd meant what he said last night. This discussion is not going into the office. Had the Senior Field Agent gone home to sleep it off, Gibbs would have cornered him there instead.
The bottom line is that this is a private matter. Nothing else is acceptable. Even if nothing else gets said here this morning, that much will be laid into law, with no allowance for exceptions whatsoever.
*****NCIS*******
Pain filled thumping. Jackhammering behind his eyeballs. Peace and quiet so thick it's reaching out to him and it feels wrong. That's all it takes to pull Tony from the black hole of a drunken sleep on into the hellish reality of the morning after hangover waiting for him. He frowns as he forces his eyelids open, noticing that the room is wrong; the lighting is wrong; hell, the feel of this nice couch is wrong because it's not his leather sofa that he prizes so much.
That's enough to jolt him awake to the point that he wants to ride out the pain behind his eyes just so he can sit up and see the world like he's supposed to see it. Blinking owlishly now, he tries to focus as he glances around the room from a normal upright position, the couch supporting his back. What the hell? Why is he at McGee's place? No other place on this planet would have that bookcase!
Before he can think about it any longer, the smell of coffee reaches his brain waves and short circuits anything else on that thought wave. Thank you, McGee! Even when you're being an ass, you're still a polite ass.
Struggling to his feet, Tony uses the couch for leverage and doesn't let go until he stops seeing two of everything. Just barely dragging himself toward the kitchen, following his nose to the coffee, his recollection of last night bringing back how he'd felt and building up the anger once more when the sight that greets him as he rounds the corner to the kitchen doorway, stops him in his tracks, his breath stalling out in his chest.
*****NCIS*****
Arriving in the squad room at the unusually early time of 0600, Tim breathes out a sigh of relief. He loves it when the world around him is quiet enough that he can think. But since he's embarked on this relationship with Leroy; he loves it even more. It gives him time to look back; relish and cherish those moments that mean so much to him. It's like flipping through a mental scrap-book that he will never let leave his side.
Taking himself to the break room, he chooses an out of the way chair by the window and sits down sipping from the large coffee he's brought in to work with him, as his mind begins to travel back, as if it can't wait to get there. And although there are countless moments he can relive now; the freshest one calls to him the sharpest. That precious time from just this morning:
Countless moments of shared kisses and gentle fingertips trailing fiery paths along already tingling skin and pulsing, thickening rods have them more than ready to climb higher as Leroy joins hands with Tim to jointly prep the younger man for the elevation that's on the horizon.
With shared soft smiles, Tim opens himself completely before he silently yet oh, so expectantly allows himself to be tugged into an upright on his knees position. He watches with hungry eyes as Leroy moves around just enough to line up snug behind him. Without wasting any time, the older man pushes in gently and oh, so agonizingly slowly, one breathtakingly beautiful inch at a time, both of them quietly gasping at the intensity of the feelings this precious intimacy is inducing.
Once fully seated within Tim's perfect fit of a body, Leroy leans forward, wraps his arms around his lover and gently pulls him back until the younger man is completely sitting in his lap; Tim's back leaning against Gibbs' chest. – Tim's favorite place to be when they're making love like this.
Tim fights to hold back his normal verbal means of expression – determined to honor the golden aura of this beautiful silent connection. He loves being here on Leroy's shoulder where he's snuggled now, his head back and their gazes locked as his breathing already panting out from the sensations quickly overwhelming him and the emotions he always lets free just as quickly, giving evidence that his heart is already completely in the thick of it.
This time, there's no gravelly voice urging him on, rather silent expressions of elevating sensual hunger, desire and emotion shared between them; their gazes never faltering from each other's, that fuels the flame. Their hands supporting each other without any need for words; one of Tim's wrapped up snug around Leroy's neck while the older man's supportive arm is tucked across his lover's waist.
Somehow, as has become their way; their free hands find each other and interlock – yet another layer of unspoken connection and support that means more to both of them than either can express: an unadulterated act of trust as Leroy supports them both while they ride to the sun, one sensual stroke at a time.
Countless moments later; the look of pure ecstasy on Leroy's face as they crest that stratosphere together is so priceless, it brings tears to Tim's eyes.
*******NCIS********
In the space of time that it takes Tony to regain his breathing, the older man has firmly set a fresh cup of coffee down on the counter where it's closest to the Senior Field Agent. The silence coming from him is almost painful.
Tony doesn't move. Instead, he clears his throat as he looks away from the older man standing on the other side of the counter. It's the silence that he hates. It's as bad as that look in the boss' eyes and together, it's the combination where he knows Gibbs is more than angry. The man is justifiably so and at the outer limits of it and it's already at the point where it's getting ready to morph into the red hot fury no one wants to ever be on the receiving end of.
But, this time, Tony's angry too. And from where he's standing, he's more justified than Gibbs is. So, what the hell are they gonna do about it? Where do they go from here?
Gibbs sits down on the stool on his side of the counter, his eyes never wavering from Tony's face. With a sigh, Tony gives up the resistance and sits down on his side, hiding behind his coffee cup as he downs the hot dose of caffeine like a thirsty man's first drink in a week. Setting the cup down once he's emptied it, he pushes it to the side and lets his hands fall into his lap. "So you were here last night." Tony accuses. "That's great. That's just… great."
The responsive glare emanating from the boss does nothing to calm Tony's rising ire. In fact, it fuels it because now Tony feels like he was being spied on last night and that's just unacceptable. "Couldn't leave us alone to work it out, at least?" He grumpily asks.
"Don't remember interferin' " Gibbs remarks quietly.
"Maybe not, but…"
"But, what, DiNozzo?' Gibbs growls now. He's losing patience for his Senior Field Agent's attitude. "Ya think I didn't already know your attitude?"
"How?" Tony demands angrily.
"Been on my team a long time, DiNozzo." Gibbs replies sharply. "Haven't exactly been silent about it."
The boss' ire deflates some of Tony's attitude to the point where his next remark is much more a glimpse of what he's really thinking about. "You got it all wrong, Gibbs."
The patented look he gets in return is the silent invitation to spill what's on his mind. Tony's rather quick on the uptake, considering he's hungover.
"You breakin' your own rule 12. Never saw this comin'."
"Didn't happen."
"What?"
"Team wasn't on call this weekend, DiNozzo. Transfer was done before work day even started."
Completely deflated, Tony sighs deeply and steps around Gibbs to refill his own coffee cup. "Guess we're not walkin' away from this one unscathed, are we?"
Gibbs' silent look begs the question of what Tony's referring to.
"C'mon, Boss. You know exactly what I mean, here! McGee's hoodwinked you! With that baby-faced kid battin' his puppy dog eyes at ya; it wasn't right – him doin' that!"
Still silent, the boss' expression changes to his patented 'do you think I'm stupid?' look.
"Ok! What happened to Rule 12? You two didn't just suddenly decide to get together. So there had to be a break of that rule in there somewhere!"
Gibbs immediately flashes back to A.J. Barrett. He remembers that conversation as if it were yesterday.
You're sleeping with DiNozzo.
It's not against NCIS policy to date co-workers.
It's against my policy. This team operates on respect.
You don't respect me
I don't trust you.
Really?
Really. Except to work the case, leave my team alone. We clear?
The look on Gibbs' face reminds Tony quite readily that he himself has dallied with that rule on more than one occasion. Still, he's outraged because there's a sharp difference here and it's not one that should even have to be spoken of! "I never crossed that line completely – and damned sure not like this!"
Gibbs frowns at the anger he miss. Did Tony really not see the hypocrisy in his own actions and words? Was he so seriously blinded by his inflated ego and sense of importance that he no longer noticed? Finally, he pokes the bear who's already out of his element. "How's that workin' for ya?"
"What?"
"Being a hypocrite"
"I'm no…"
"Barrett."
"Ho….?"
Gibbs pointed look demands that Tony look back for himself and remember. It's yet another piece of that situation that comes back to him very clearly.
What's the occasion?
I thought we could talk.
So talk.
You know, I look up to you, Boss.I've learned a lot from you over the last ten 've been a great teacher.
You got a point, DiNozzo?
I've always thought that the head-slaps were a sign of , in the squad room, I was expecting one and I didn't I didn't get you pissed at me? Rule number 12. "Never date a coworker." Yeah.I know. She's pretty great, and I have a lot in common. She's easy to be with, you know? It's nice to have somebody to talk to NCIS doesn't have any policy against it. You know, there are married agents, and technically, EJ and I We don't work together. We're on separate teams.
My team. My rules. Sleeping with Barrett's a bad idea.
No offense, but my personal life is my business.
It's gonna affect your work. -
No, I won't. -
Already has.
I know what you're thinking. I've lost focus, that I've taken my eye off the ball.
I depend on you….
Gibbs remembers not knowing what had pissed him off more; the fact that Tony had let his relationship with Barrett get to that point; or that he had gone so far over the edge with it that he hadn't even seen the forest for the trees. Either way, it had affected his team and as Team Leader, Gibbs hadn't stood for it then.
And he's already taken drastic steps to make sure it's not going to happen now.
