His stopping me was the first thing I think I felt in the past ten minutes. I stared as he backed away, as the laughter about who the fuck knows what took over. I really thought he was flying on something or another. I didn't taste anything on his lips so I knew it wasn't booze but that didn't narrow it down by much.
His words fell on welcoming ears. As cheap romance novel as they were I got it. There was so much in our lives that was do this, say that. Fit here, hide that. That nothing felt real. But us it was real. It was some form of us trying to kick each other in the ass saying 'Hey, dumb ass! Speak up!' but neither of us did.
When I was just about to leave he grounded me though. And that was it. If the last couple of hours hadn't solidified it his hand grasping at my coat did. I am in it til the bitter end. I have to face it I was always that way. It was in my DNA, it was who I have always been. I have always followed through no matter what I get out of it. I care way to much but it is better to care about everything then nothing at all.
So I turn to catch him in the corner of my eye. I don't see him well enough to gauge anything really but his free hand reaches up to my face and turns me. His cool fingers snake around my head to the back and draw me down. I go willingly as he pulls me in the room through the door. I somehow am coordinated enough to kick the door shut sealing us in I hear our breath, I see his eyes focusing on mine our lips hover, my arm rests lightly on his lower back. He walks me back into the closed door. The very slight height difference should make me feel in control. It doesn't.
"Can I?" it is soft and unsure and I have a whole lot of 'oh hell yes you can!' in my head, I only manage a slight nod. Then his mouth is on mine and his tongue is licking its way into mine and my head is dizzy and I am losing control.
For the first time ever I am really feeling him. His chest to mine, his shoulders under my hands. The mouth to mouth is nice but I find the embrace to be the best of it all. All I have ever wanted was him in my arms. To hug him and hold him close. Here he is in my arms. I break the kiss and take my lips across his chin and down his jaw until my head meets his shoulder. I lay my forehead on his collarbone and breathe him in. My hands arm on his lower back, his are on mine and then the world goes black.
